Our Dating Story: The Experienced You and The Inexperienced Me - Volume 1 - Chapter 4.3

I was on the stairs below her, and after her crying had died down, I called out to her. “Could you tell me why you did something like that?”

She sat down on the stairs, still covering her face. “What ‘thing’?” she asked.

“Spreading bad rumors about Shirakawa-san.”

Kurose-san started wailing again. “Uaaagh! Could you stop that already? Shirakawa-san this, Shirakawa-san that... All you talk about is her. You liked me back in the day!”

Wh-What’s she going on about?

“Of course I’d be talking about her. I’m going out with her now,” I replied.

“And I can’t stand that!” Kurose-san shouted back. She sounded like a spoiled child. “I want everyone to like me. I should be everyone’s favorite!”

“B-But...” I began, a little intimidated by her outburst. “Even if everyone liked you, you still couldn’t date more than one guy, right? There’s no point in—”

“I’m not gonna date anyone!” exclaimed Kurose-san, interrupting me. “All I want is to make everyone like me. That’s why I’ve never even gone out with anyone.” Tears began to well up in her eyes again. “I want to be number one... Only the best girl gets chosen. I don’t want her to take anything from me ever again...”

“What are you talking about?” I asked after being quiet for a moment. “Do you know Shirakawa-san from before...?”

As I asked this, large tears streamed down Kurose-san’s face. She hung her head as though she were ashamed of them, then calmly said...

“Shirakawa Runa...is my twin sister. She’s just a bit older.”

Her words sent a lightning bolt of shock through my entire body.

“Whaaat?!” I exclaimed. As I looked at her, wondering if she was joking, all she did was stare back at me with a resentful look on her face. “You’re kidding, right? I mean...”

Their looks and personalities are completely different. Sure, they’re both cute, but...

As I thought that, Kurose-san gave me a self-deprecating smile. “We don’t look alike, right? That’s because we’re fraternal. I take after our dad, and she looks more like our mom.”

I wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. “Seriously?”

“You think I’d want to lie about something so sickening as being related by blood to that slut?”

“But your surnames...”

“Our parents got divorced when we were in our fifth year of elementary school. I took on my mom’s surname, and that bitch kept my dad’s. You just didn’t know me from when I was Shirakawa Maria because we met in middle school. When I moved to my mom’s home, I ended up in a different school district, and none of my classmates knew me as Shirakawa.”

What she was saying seemed to make sense—I had heard a rumor that Kurose-san was being raised by a single mother back when we’d been in the same class. Several other classmates had been in the same situation, so I hadn’t thought much of it.

If memory served me right, they’d said that she lived with her mom, gramps, and grandma. I still vaguely remembered it because I’d liked her at one point.

And then, in our second year of middle school, I’d overheard my classmates saying that Kurose-san had changed schools. We hadn’t been in the same class anymore, but apparently her mother had gotten remarried and they’d ended up moving to Chiba due to her new father’s circumstances.

“Wait...” I said.

Hold on... Her surname is still Kurose, just like back then. I tried to avoid thinking about her, so I never questioned this before...

“My mom split up with her husband last month. That’s why we moved back to my grandpa’s house,” said Kurose-san, as though she anticipated where my train of thought was headed.

I gazed at her once again. “You’re really...Shirakawa-san’s sister...?”

“I just told you I am,” she replied with apparent reluctance.

Then, I recalled something.

“There’s something I need to tell you...”

Perhaps this was what Shirakawa-san had wanted to say.

Also, when she’d mentioned her family before...

“Still, at least you didn’t get separated from your sister, right?”

“Huh...?”

Shirakawa-san had looked surprised at the time.

“Ah, yeah. I guess so...”

Her reply after that had seemed unnatural too. Perhaps she’d been thinking about Kurose-san.

“So your father took custody of Shirakawa-san and your older sister, and your mother took you?”

Kurose-san bit her lip at my words. “I...wanted to live with my dad,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes again. A moment later, a tear streamed down her face, ultimately being absorbed in the fabric of her skirt at her lap. “Runa and I both loved our dad. But one of us had to leave together with our mom. Our older sister was in her third year of high school and had a job lined up already, so they told her to do as she liked. But since we still needed our parents to raise and financially support us, that’s what they decided on, after talking it out.”

After saying that, Kurose-san wiped her tears and sniffled. “I wanted to be with my dad. But...he chose Runa,” she continued. Her face contorted as tears spilled from her eyes. “She knew how to get the rest of my family to pamper her. My dad too—he liked her more than me...” As she spoke, her face made it clear that she couldn’t contain her sorrow. “I was a quiet girl...so I had a hard time letting people know how I felt or getting them to like me. But I thought I had to change.” She hung her head, a brooding look on her face. “Girls who aren’t loved can’t become happy. I have to be at the top. Only the best girl gets chosen.”

Her eyelids were puffy and her eyelashes were wet with tears. The tip of her nose was all red as well. But even in such a state, she was still perfectly cute. While that wasn’t exactly the reason for it, I found myself sympathizing with her more and more and felt like I couldn’t abandon her here.

“Is that...why you spread bad rumors about Shirakawa-san? Stealing her popularity in class?”

Kurose-san nodded at my question without saying a word.

“I see...”

I didn’t think her reasons justified her actions. However, I also didn’t think there’d be any redemption awaiting her in the future with the way things were going.

The Kurose-san I’d fallen in love with back in my first year of middle school and the Kurose-san who was before me now were like two completely different people. And yet, the latter somehow felt like her true self.

Since she’d been striving for everyone to like her, she’d probably never talked about these things with anyone before. I doubted she’d ever done anything that might reveal an unpleasant side of hers.

And that was why now, when she was laying her true nature bare before me, I thought I had to use this opportunity to say something to her. I needed to give her a reason to genuinely reflect on her actions. Some food for thought.

“Have you ever asked your dad why he chose Shirakawa-san?”

Kurose-san gave me a small nod. “I have. All he said was that it was something he and Mom had decided, and he wouldn’t say any more on the subject.” She narrowed her eyes in a sulking manner. “I could tell, though. Runa was both Mom and Dad’s favorite. They’d argued over who would take her.”

“That’s...” I began—but being the complete stranger I was, I couldn’t write it off as impossible. “I’m sure your parents had their reasons, and I doubt your father chose Shirakawa-san just because he liked her more.”

Kurose-san stared at her lap without uttering a word, looking unconvinced.

“And besides, you’re going about this the wrong way,” I added.

She looked up. Her eyes were asking me, “What are you talking about?”

“I get what made you want to become everyone’s favorite now. But don’t you just want your father—someone special to you—to choose you? How would the things you’re doing now help with that?”

Kurose-san looked like she’d suddenly hit upon a realization as she listened to me.

“You’ve never gone out with anyone because you’ve never liked anyone, right? Would affection from people you don’t even like heal the wound left by your father—the person you liked—when he didn’t choose you?”

She cast her eyes down and bit her lip. Judging by the look on her face, she was suppressing feelings surging up inside of her.

“Wouldn’t it be better if, instead of trying to become a girl loved by everyone, you focused on becoming one that the guy you’ll one day fall in love with will love back?”

Kurose-san hung her head in silence for a while, but eventually, she glared up at me. “You talk like you know something about me.”

“I don’t, really... I just get the feeling we’re similar.”

“Excuse me?!”

“S-Sorry... But would you hear me out?” Well aware of her anger, I continued. “Shirakawa-san isn’t trying to get everyone to like her. She’s the kind of girl who leaves a good impression on a lot of people just by saying what comes to her mind and acting naturally. I think she owes her popularity not only to her looks, but also to her temperament—her natural disposition.”

Looking at Shirakawa-san, I was often surprised by just how different we were. I felt she was a good person by nature.

“Before you say something, you probably wonder how others around you will react, right?” I continued. “I imagine you’re the type to watch people’s eyes and overthink things before acting. I’m like that too.” Which was precisely why... “I think it’s tough for people like that to force themselves to try to become like Shirakawa-san. They’d constantly have to put in effort.”

While I couldn’t begin to imagine what reservations Kurose-san had about Shirakawa-san, I was sure there were some, given that they were family. Things like “Why are we so different even though we’re twins?” or “I could’ve become like that too.”

She had a sulky look on her face as she began to argue back. “What would a guy like you know about—”

“But still,” I said, interrupting her. “I think there’s plenty of people out there who would prefer you over Shirakawa-san.”

Kurose-san went silent at that, looking surprised.

“I think you can become happy if you find a guy you like among people like that.”

She didn’t say anything for a while.

“If I managed to convince you with all this...I’d like you to apologize to Shirakawa-san for what you did,” I said.

Kurose-san remained silent. I thought about saying something else to her, but she began to speak with her head still lowered.

“Fine, I get it. Leave me alone already.” Her voice was dark and filled with melancholy.

“Kurose-san...” I called out to her. It was difficult for me to simply leave.

“What? Are you trying to cheer me up?” When she looked up at me, she had a nasty smile on her face. “Cut it out. You don’t even like me. Shouldn’t you be consoling Runa?”

“But...”

“It’s fine. I haven’t fallen low enough to have her boyfriend console me. Go!”

I had no reply to that. With the way she was now, it seemed like it would only have the opposite effect if I tried to say anything further.

Presented with no other option, I turned around and left.

Which was why I couldn’t hear what Kurose-san said once she was all alone on the stairwell, hugging her knees.

“Looks like I won’t be able to find happiness again this time either. Of all people, why did it have to be a guy who chose her who makes me feel this way...?”

The cheeks on her sulking face were tinged with red.

“I wish you’d left me alone if you didn’t like me...”

***

As I neared my classroom, Shirakawa-san came running out of the doorway.

“Ryuto!” she exclaimed.

Looking inside, I saw that many of my classmates were still there, staring at me with immense curiosity now that I’d returned.

“L-Let’s head home for now,” I suggested.

I went inside and hastily grabbed my bag and the class journal. Then, after dropping by the staff room, Shirakawa-san and I headed to the entrance together. I’d only managed to write a few words in the journal entry for today, but it would probably be fine—Kurose-san had done her part properly.

“Sorry... I never told you about Maria,” said Shirakawa-san, broaching the subject the moment we were alone. “She hated the fact we’re twins. I’ve got no idea why she’d transfer to our school...”

To be sure, even I didn’t know what Kurose-san had intended by coming here. Maybe she’d wanted to harass Shirakawa-san, or perhaps...

“Maybe she wanted to be close to you,” I suggested.

“What...?”

As Shirakawa-san looked surprised, I continued. “If she really hated you so much that she didn’t even want to see your face, I don’t think she’d want to be in the same room with you, not even if it meant she could get back at you.”

After hanging her head for a short while in silence, Shirakawa-san said, as though digesting the idea, “That makes sense...” She raised her face and looked at me. “Thanks, Ryuto,” she said with a cute smile. Looking at her face now, I could see a bit of a resemblance between her and Kurose-san.

“But Ryuto, is it okay?” she asked anxiously once we’d put our shoes on and left the school building. “Weren’t you against everyone finding out about us?”

“Well... I was, but...” Even I had never thought I’d be revealing our relationship like that. “More than that, I just didn’t want people to have the wrong idea about you forever.”

Shirakawa-san opened her eyes wide at my answer. “You did that...for me...?”

A faint flicker of something welled up in her eyes as she gazed at me—tears. I was taken aback, and Shirakawa-san became flustered. She suddenly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“H-Huh? I wonder what that was about.” She looked the other way and smiled cheerfully, feigning ignorance. “I’m an idiot, so I thought I didn’t really care about bad rumors or things like that... But I guess maybe they were bothering me a little after all.”

I thought Shirakawa-san was a strong girl, but it must’ve been hard, even for her, to endure the curious stares of her classmates from day to day due to some groundless bad rep.

“Still, I wonder where that rumor came from,” said Shirakawa-san. “Did Maria misunderstand something my ex said about me?”

“Huh?” I uttered after a pause.

I was stunned. Could it be...? Had Shirakawa-san not realized that Kurose-san had made up that story and spread it just to harass her?

Just how nice a girl was Shirakawa-san...? She was so trusting that it made me a little worried. For the time being, I decided that I shouldn’t tell such a nice girl any more.

Since they were sisters, it would be better if they sorted this out between themselves. I was sure that Kurose-san would apologize to Shirakawa-san soon.

I hadn’t told her that the girl who’d rejected me back in the day was Kurose-san either. Since we were classmates and sat next to each other, it was kinda awkward to talk about... But now that I knew that they were sisters, I figured I’d reveal it one day as a funny anecdote once the two of them had repaired their relationship and could smile together again.

“Yeah, you’re right. That rumor was weird,” I said.

“You didn’t believe it?”

“I didn’t.”

It took Shirakawa-san a moment to reply. “But you don’t know what I was like before we started dating, right?” she asked.

I gave it some thought. “I guess not... Still, I like you the way you are now. So I figured...the past doesn’t matter.”

I said that, in part, to persuade myself. In truth, it wasn’t like I was fully satisfied with taking that stance. Thinking about her exes was still painful.

But.

“Even if you really used to act as that rumor said, you’re completely different now. I couldn’t let bygones like that hurt your good name in the present.”

Shirakawa-san gave my serious reply a slightly forced smile. “Well, it’s not like I ever did any of that, anyway.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so either,” I said, smiling too.

At that point, the smile disappeared from her face and was replaced with what appeared to be a slight blush on her cheeks.

“You really are weird, Ryuto.”

I knew she didn’t mean it in a bad way. I didn’t even need to ask—the happy grin that appeared on her face proved it.

“Thanks, Ryuto!”

Seeing her smile that was even lovelier than usual, I got the urge to hug her.

Then, it suddenly occurred to me: I hadn’t even laid a finger on her since we’d started dating. Even as we currently walked side by side, so close that our shoulders were almost touching, I still didn’t know her warmth.

As I became aware of that fact, the love for her that was welling up within me became mixed with a very faint pain in my chest.