Melon Books SS: Hesitation, and a Great Source of Worry
Amane considered himself to have a rather good memory. While he didn’t possess any abilities as grand as a photographic memory, he was capable of memorizing things in a shorter span of time than most and retained that information for longer. Up until now, his memory had served him well in his studies and daily life, but this time, he found himself cursing his great memory.
I…ended up catching a glimpse…
Although it was nothing more than a brief glance, he had perfectly memorized the string of text that entered his vision. As he pondered what to do about it, he ended up ruminating over it too much and firmly cemented it in his memory—that thing.
Since it was personal information, the proper course of action would be to forget it as soon as he could. To even consider using it was out of the question. That would be highly inappropriate behavior for any individual, and Amane could imagine how shocked and suspicious the other party would be to suddenly receive contact from a stranger.
Thus, he shouldn’t act on it—all the common sense and reason that he had amassed so far in his life was telling him to erase it from his mind as quickly as possible. Yet…
…This is exactly what Mahiru wants and needs right now, isn’t it?
Determined to make this Mahiru’s best birthday yet, Amane was prepared to pull out all the stops and leave no stone unturned. For the sake of Mahiru’s smile, he was confident he could face any difficulty, no matter how challenging. In all likelihood, this would be his greatest chance to make Mahiru truly happy. That is, if Amane succeeded in overcoming the things holding back his moral mind.
Even if I do reach out to this person, there’s no guarantee that they would even respond.
Anyone would be suspicious in the event that a stranger contacted them out of the blue. Being ignored was the most likely outcome.
However, if by some chance they were willing to listen to what I have to say, then…
That one flicker of hope was the cause of Amane’s hesitation.
Heaving a deep sigh, Amane laid face down on his bed, a glimpse of the cat plushie he received from Mahiru entering his field of view. Facing it, the plushie’s eyes seemed to ask, What’re you even doing? with an unmistakably cold and to the point attitude, making Amane sigh once more.
“…Taking that first step is what’s worrying me.”
While he was conflicted due to facing a moral dilemma among other things, above all, Amane was afraid. Afraid of reaching out to the person who had shaped Mahiru’s very being today, reaching even the deepest parts of her heart. Amane was afraid of being rejected.
And what if…if even Mahiru were to be rejected too? To be told that she no longer had any connection to them, to have that close hand pulled away from her?
The thought that Amane, an outsider, might end up as the trigger for a rejection of that nature made even the resolve he had mustered falter and freeze in place. From what Amane had heard, this individual didn’t seem like the type of person to do such a thing, and he could say for certain that they cared deeply for Mahiru. Yet, for him to step into this, it was indeed a path too tender for him to tread.
“…Seriously, what should I do?” Amane muttered softly, to no one but himself.
Turning over, he picked up the note he had written himself and held it up to the light above him, closing his eyes.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login