Just a Bit More Like This
Simple Is Best
Mizuto Irido
In what I’m beginning to consider a good memory, I had a so-called girlfriend in eighth and ninth grade. During the first half of that relationship, which was essentially our honeymoon phase, nothing had been more surprising for Yume Ayai and me than the day we told each other our birthdays.
For a naive middle schooler like I, learning that our birthdays fell on the same exact day made our entire relationship feel like fate—almost frighteningly so.
November 3 is the yearly designated Japanese holiday known as Culture Day. Consequently, we’d get the day off from school, which was the main reason the only people we’d ever celebrated our birthdays with were our family. Back then, that worked out in my favor. After all, not only did the first girlfriend of my life have the same birthday as I, but since it was on a national holiday, the two of us could spend the entire day together without having to worry about school.
To be honest, I was never the type to care about my birthday. If anything, more often than not, I’d forget about it entirely until the day of. I mean, it’s not like I could remember the moment I was born, nor did I have any real memories of the mother who’d given birth to me. I lacked the components that made a birthday special in one’s mind, making it hard for me to care too much about it.
That’s why the only time I saw November 3 as special was that one time in middle school. Since neither of us had any experience being in a relationship or buying gifts for other people, we’d decided that, on our birthday, we’d kill two birds with one stone by going on a date in the afternoon and buying a gift for each other at the same time.
Later, I discovered that she had already felt she’d received a gift from me: an eraser I’d given her without much thought. The level of her social awkwardness back then was off the charts, but I digress.
Usually, we’d only ever really go on dates to places that had no real romantic flare, like bookstores or the library. But on our shared birthday, we finally went on what most people would consider a real date.
We’d ended up going to the mall, which was completely unfamiliar territory for the both of us. Even so, we both had fun looking at various items and asking each other for our thoughts. And yet at the very end of it all, we still found ourselves at a bookstore.
“Oh, look at this book sleeve!” Ayai had said, looking at a display of book accessories instead of the usual bookshelves.
She stared longingly through her glasses at the subdued, pink of a leather book sleeve.
“Want it?”
She looked away, conflicted. “Yeah, I’ve always wanted a proper sleeve, but...”
“But what?”
“Well... Getting you a book sleeve was one of the first things I thought of...”
“Yeah?”
“I thought it was kinda...simple.”
I chuckled. “Same.”
“Huh?”
“The first thing that came to mind was a book sleeve, but I thought it might be too simple.”
Overly self-conscious otakus are seriously so annoying. They’ll buy anything and everything for themselves, so why are they so picky about gifts for others? The two of us found this so funny that we started chuckling.
“Well, then. I guess...”
Simple Is Best
Yume Irido
In what I’m beginning to consider a good memory, I had a so-called boyfriend in eighth and ninth grade. Since we shared the same birthday, we’d decided to go out on a date and pick out gifts for each other. Though we’d planned to avoid our typical spots, we still ended up at a bookstore, ogling an assortment of colorful book covers.
Book covers were probably the safest gift that anyone could’ve gotten for their boyfriend who loved to read. That’s why, though it’d been the first thing that came to mind, it’d been the first idea I discarded. It was a very middle schooler-esque gift idea to have. I had absolutely no desire to give him such a simple gift. I got caught up in the mindset that I needed to give him something incredibly thoughtful and romantic, despite being incapable of such ideas. But it seemed that we were on the same page. When I was in the middle of my thoughts, he reached his hand out.
“Well, then. I guess...” Mizuto had picked up the very same pink book cover that I’d been looking at. “It looks like we both have the same gift in mind.”
I was such a simpleton back then that this made me happier than words could describe. We had the same idea. Our hearts were one. The more that sank in, the more the joy of having Mizuto Irido as my boyfriend did as well.
“Yeah. That sounds...good. So...” This was the only kind of time I felt I could take the initiative. Though I was a spineless coward, I felt like I finally understood him. I sheepishly picked up a black leather book cover. “Would you...like a matching one?”
The colors may have been different, but they were the same brand.
Mizuto chuckled softly. “Oof, the matching couple look.” It was rare for him to joke like that.
“Don’t want to?” I giggled.
“I think it’s pretty cringe to wear matching shirts and stuff, but...this is nice. It really suits us.”
“Yeah!”
Books were the thread that connected us, so it made sense that our first gifts to each other was something book-related. Although, truth be told, that reason was completely an afterthought and just for show.
After that, we’d use our matching book covers everywhere, even at school. Since they were different colors, nobody noticed. It was our little secret. Sometimes we’d even look at each other and covertly smile with our eyes, our classmates none the wiser. It was our way of having fun during the half year or so until we ended up in different classes. To this day, however, I have no idea whether he continued using that book sleeve in his last year of middle school.
The Perfect, Beautiful Girls of the Student Council?
We entered the student council room with our upperclassmen, and the room fell silent. Gathered here were the representatives for various committees, prepared to conduct our second periodic check-in since we’d become the new student council members.
I’d been pretty nervous during our first meeting, but I knew the gist of the proceedings now, so I relaxed a bit. However...I might’ve been imagining it, but I felt like we were getting looks we hadn’t gotten last time.
“Wow... You weren’t kidding.”
“See? Told you. The new student council’s crazy!”
“Talk about high quality...”
“Seeing them up close like this really changes everything!”
The room that had calmed down seconds earlier was now buzzing. They were all doing their best to keep their voices down, but since they were all basically saying the same thing, I could hear them more easily than they’d probably have liked.
I wasn’t sure who’d started it, but apparently there was a rumor that the student council was full of beauties. In all likelihood, this was what all the commotion was about. President Kurenai was charismatic and feminine, Aso-senpai was tall and—as long as you didn’t know the truth—voluptuous, and Asuhain-san was busty yet petite and had a cute face. It made sense that everyone was so taken with them. However, I was also being counted as one of these “beauties,” which was a little embarrassing. Also, they’re obviously ignoring the only male member of the student council, Haba-senpai. He’s as invisible as ever.
“How superficial...” Asuhain-san hissed.
From the perspective of someone like her who hated guys and romance, these gazes of adoration must’ve been extremely annoying. Was this the cost of fame? I’d thought that the student council wouldn’t be as in the spotlight as they typically were in works of fiction, but it seemed that the shine from President Kurenai illuminated us as well.
“It’s so unfair that they’re all really smart too!”
“I bet they all have boyfriends.”
“They must have fairy-tale romances!”
Yeah, I don’t know about that. I began recollecting a certain incident as a result of hearing these whispers.
November was fast approaching, meaning my shared birthday with Mizuto was just around the corner. It’d been two months since I’d decided to make Mizuto forget all about who I used to be and focus on who I was now. Despite that, I hadn’t made much progress. In the face of this predicament, there was no way I was gonna let such a big event like our birthday slip by me.
I’m going to get him a gift that blows past me’s gift out of the water, and then I’m gonna steal his heart! Or at least, that was the plan. The only problem was that it hinged actually being able to come up with a gift idea, but I still had none. How does one come up with gift ideas?
The one-year break after actually being in a relationship had effectively dulled my romantic senses. Even though I knew what having a boyfriend was like, I was in no better position to come up with a gift idea. I couldn’t for the life of me remember what had made him happy. No matter how much I tried to dig through the memories of our relationship, all that came up were memories of a socially awkward girl who jumped to conclusions and overheated her brain. I couldn’t remember a single thing that would make his heart skip a beat.
This left me with no choice but to crowdsource ideas. So when I saw my chance, I asked President Kurenai and Aso-senpai for advice.
“Could I ask something? What, um, did you two do for your crushes’ birthdays?” I asked with determination.
The two of them looked at me puzzledly.
“Hm? This is kinda outta the blue, Yumechi. You think I have a crush on someone? I guess the closest thing is Senpai, but he’s just a guy I like to toy with. I don’t have a crush on anyone or anything.”
“When you ask a question, you should make sure your assumptions have some credibility to them, Yume-kun. You’re implying that I have a crush on someone, but I do not. I suppose the closest thing is a certain classmate of mine who has an abnormally low opinion of himself, which infuriates me to no end. But, as I said, I do not have a crush on anyone.”
Can we skip the part where you two deny this? As much as I’d like to have said this out loud, I held myself back and continued.
“Sorry. I’ll revise my question. Aso-senpai, what did you do for Hoshibe-senpai’s birthday? President Kurenai, what did you do for Haba-senpai’s birthday? I’m trying to come up with ideas for a guy’s birthday, but nothing’s really coming to mind.”
“Interesting...” Aso-senpai mused. “So you came to us because you need help with a guy’s birthday present.”
“I’ve no reservations talking to you about this topic,” President Kurenai responded. “It’s my pleasure to help out my underclassmen in their times of need.”
Oh, they seem kinda happy. It might be more fun than I thought to listen to others talk about their romantic experiences. Well, I had thought that, but deep down, I had a strange sense of dread. I should’ve changed my mind and stopped them from talking any further, but...
“Is it okay if I go first, Suzurin?”
“Sure. Show us how it’s done.”
Aso-senpai was obviously raring to go. She put her hands together sternly. “So, Senpai’s birthday was back in August...”
An Underclassman’s One Chance
Aisa Aso
It was the middle of summer, and I was in my room. “It’s over...”
I felt like I’d been put in checkmate. I had casually asked Senpai when his birthday was and picked out a present without issue. Knowing him and his lack of experience with girls, I had no doubt that he’d try to act calm and collected on the outside but freak out on the inside. I was so confident. I could easily fantasize about that situation without breaking a sweat.
But...the problem lay with how I was gonna give it to him. It felt, y’know, like everything was over for me. Okay, it’s not the middle of summer. It’s in August, towards the end of summer break. Since we had fewer student council activities to attend, I had fewer opportunities to be around him. Of course, I could easily reach him with a single phone call, but how was I supposed to get someone like him who was dense, coolheaded, and insensitive to come out for his birthday?
In the first place, trying to make arrangements to meet up on someone’s birthday isn’t all that different from straight-up asking them out. Then, suddenly, in the midst of my thoughts, a certain annoying classmate’s words echoed in my head.
“You know Hoshibe-senpai’s stepping down soon, right? You should ask him out now while you have the chance,” she’d said.
Ugh, she’s been really annoying lately. There’s absolutely no way in hell I’m gonna ask him out. But...if he asks me out, I guess I wouldn’t mind giving it some thought. I exhaled, realizing that I’d fallen into the same thought cycle for the umpteenth time. At this rate, I’d lose my shot and the present I’d bought would just collect dust on my shelf.
“Onee-chan, your room’s so, ugh... Don’t leave your pads on the floor.”
“Little sister, hear me! Your big sister’s in the middle of the biggest crisis of her life!”
“Are you not the least bit embarrassed about clinging to your little sister who’s four years your junior?!” Who are you, smacking me with reality?! I don’t remember raising you like this! “Let me guess—it’s that guy again. Just go on a date with him or whatever. You’re gonna rot in your room like this.”
“It’s not that easy! High schoolers have it rough in so many ways!”
“Whatever, just leave your room for once. You have plenty of friends to hang out with both from your class and the student council, right?”
“Hanging out with the student council isn’t— Ah! That’s genius!”
It’s not over at all! The heat was just making my brain melt. My little sister sighed as I practically leapt to my bed so I could send a message to the student council LINE group chat.
Aisa: Let’s go to the pool, guys!
“Whatcha doin’, Senpai?” I asked in a singsong voice, bending my knees and leaning forward to peer up at him.
I used everything I had to calculate the perfect tone and pitch to use on him as he lounged in the pool chair. For someone like me, being in a swimsuit wasn’t anything to be scared of at all. With my pronounced cleavage, my boldly exposed waist, and my innocent yet sexy pure-white bikini, I dominated the eyes of everyone gathered...except for him. He continued to lie in the shade of the parasol, his eyes not budging from his phone to even glance at me.
“I was gettin’ my login bonus and kinda just ended up farming stages.”
“You’re in the game company’s clutches.” Then, I grunted as I positioned myself in the chair next to him.
“Why are you lying next to me?”
“Taking a break. No big deal, right?”
“Guess not...”
I lightly giggled, but hid it behind my slightly closed hand. I spread out and faced him. There was a space between us—a small gap. But still, it kinda felt like...
“Kinda feels like we’re sleeping in the same bed, doesn’t it?”
After a brief moment of silence, he frowned, a bitter look on his face. Did your heart skip a beat? Did it? That must be why you look so bitter, right, Senpai? I couldn’t stop myself from mentally giggling. He might have been dense, coolheaded, and insensitive, but sometimes his strong defenses would crumble, and it was so fun to see that happen. I loved it!
In times like these, I felt I could get through his hard exterior—that he’d actually let me in. Soon, he won’t be my upperclassman anymore... I can’t believe it. Graduation was still a ways off, but when the cultural festival ended, he would no longer be on the student council...
I had one chance. One chance as an underclassman to give my upperclassman a birthday present while we were still in the same school. Today was my one and only chance.
“Senpai, want me to put some sunscreen on you?” I asked, sitting up.
“Huh?” His eyes were filled with suspicion. “You tryin’ to copy Kurenai and Haba? I don’t need sunscreen. I’m not goin’ in the water. You just wanna touch me. I’m gonna sue you for sexual harassment.”
“Hmph. Then let’s go take a dip! Come on!”
“H-Hey, wait!”
I grabbed him by the arm, pulling his huge body to his feet, and forcibly dragged him to the pool.
“H-Hey, stop! It says ‘no jumping’!”
“Loosen up! You’re not the student council president today. Come on!”
“Whoa!”
I jumped in, back first. The white bubbles rushed by my face, but in between them, I could see him with his eyes shut, like a child. I’ve never been as thankful as I am now that I can keep my eyes open underwater without goggles. I wrapped my arms around his neck. In the next moment, his body shot to the surface, pulling me with it.
He gasped for air and used his large hands to wipe his wet bangs from his face. Then, seeing me with my hands around his shoulders, he furrowed his eyebrows.
“You can’t just drag someone who hasn’t even stretched yet into the pool! Huh?” Then he finally realized that there was now a silver necklace around his neck.
I giggled and tilted my head at the perfect angle while giving him my best teasing smile. “Almost like a collar, isn’t it, Senpai?”
My present to him was that necklace.
And Now, the Punch Line
Yume Irido
“Wow!” I’d honestly expected a recounting of how she’d ultimately messed up, but the story she told was more wonderful than I ever could’ve imagined. I was seriously touched. “Wow, that’s so amazing! Seriously?! That was so amazing! You did it while pulling him into the pool?! Whoa, you’re sooo amazing!”
“Heh heh. Witness your master’s power and revere me!”
“You can really get things done when you have to!”
“Uh...why are you making it sound like I mess up most of the time?”
Her story was so touching that I accidentally let my true thoughts slip out. But seriously. Phew, that’s the kind of teenage story I admire.
While Master chuckled with pride as I trembled in her majesty, President Kurenai apathetically looked at her.
“Aren’t you forgetting the punch line to that story?”
“Huh?” What punch line?
President Kurenai looked tired as she rested her face in her hands. “After that, you realized that your pads had fallen out from the impact of falling into the pool, and—”
“Stop! La la la! I can’t hear you! That never happened!”
“Master...” I’d like a refund on the admiration I paid you. Also, how could she not have expected that to happen?
“Anyway, you’re next, Suzurin!”
“Sheesh... It’s unfortunate having such an unreliable vice president. It would seem that I’ve more work to do now. How troublesome. I suppose I’ve no choice but to fulfill my presidential duties.”
“Oh, barf! You’re as annoying as emergency maintenance in games!”
President Kurenai, however, looked wholly unperturbed and began leisurely speaking. “Truth be told, Joe’s birthday is a very suitable day for him...”
No Matter Where You Hide in This World...
Suzuri Kurenai
It was early January, and winter break had just begun.
“It was last week.”
“Huh?” I froze hearing the answer to the question that I’d nonchalantly asked.
“My birthday was January 5—last week.”
Suddenly, I broke out into a sweat—something I hadn’t done in years. Joe—Joji Haba—was a guy with little to no presence. He easily melted into the background of the classroom, and even teachers would forget his name.
But that was just in general. No matter how little presence he had, he couldn’t escape my eyes. Ever since we had entered this school and ended up in the same class, I’d never forgotten about him. I always had my eye on him. Even if nobody else could do that, I knew I could.
So how was it that despite that, I didn’t know when his birthday was? All I had to do was casually ask him about it, but I never did. It was basic information written on his student ID. There was no way I’d overlooked it...and yet I had. Despite me being able to remember every last word that was said during our classes, that information had somehow slipped through the cracks.
“You don’t have to worry that much,” he said, not seeming even a little bit bothered. “My birthday’s right after the first three days of the new year—right around the time people get tired of saying ‘happy New Year.’ Even my parents forget my birthday—there’s no helping how forgettable it is. I’m already used to it, so it doesn’t bother me one bit. Don’t get so down on yourself, Kurenai-san.”
You’re...used to it? There’s no helping it? Are you stupid?! “Joe, listen. Just for this year, your birthday is today.”
“Huh?” Joe looked at me with confusion.
“Let’s go buy you a present. Now!”
And that’s how I dragged Joe out into the frigid January air. We waited at the bus stop by the school, hopped on the bus heading to the shopping district, and after a few minutes of being rocked back and forth, we arrived at the lively streets of commerce. We practically had no choice but to be swept away by the wave of people.
“Is there anything you want? I’ve got a lot saved up from my jobs, so you don’t have to worry about price,” I asked him, blowing out clouds of white through my scarf.
Joe, who was wearing a coat over his school uniform, pulled up his collar. “Nothing, really. Anyway, I’d feel bad asking you to buy me something with your hard-earned money.”
“It’s a present. There’s nothing to feel bad about.”
“Isn’t the gift-giver usually the one who decides what to give?”
Oh. Is that how it goes? “In that case, I simply must decide what I want to get you myself. Heh heh. I have a great idea.”
“I’m getting a bad feeling, so you know what, I think I’ll take my leave...”
“Whoa there. You’re not going anywhere,” I said, wrapping my arm around his, making sure he had nowhere to run.
“What are you—”
“No matter what anyone says, today is your birthday. That means I’ve an obligation to celebrate it,” I said, gripping his arm tighter.
He tried to lean away from me a little. “Kurenai-san... You should know certain parts are touching me.”
“Of course they are. It’s normal for girls to want their boobs to touch the body of the guy that they’re into.”
“I don’t think that’s true...”
I could’ve sworn that I saw a glimmer of embarrassment on his expressionless face. Thinking of how I was stirring emotion within him from the small movements of my arm made me kinda happy. If he really saw himself as part of the background, then he should’ve done a better job at restraining his emotions.
“Well then, let’s be off. I know a good place.” I moved my face close to his as he spaced out before intertwining our fingers, making him gasp. “For the record, this isn’t part of your present.”
His eyes flew in the opposite direction of mine. Even after all this, that’s all I get from you? You seriously are a troublesome guy, you know that?
“I think you have a problem more pressing than your lack of presence,” I said as I picked out various articles of clothing off a rack and rested them on his shoulder. “There’s nothing you can do about your natural, plain appearance. However, it’s possible to customize how others perceive you. Improving the way you dress will certainly lead to you having more of a presence!”
“You’re just wasting your time...”
“Don’t count me out. I’m gonna break you out of the background!”
Ten or so minutes later, I was holding my head outside of the fitting room.
“Hmm...” Well, this is a conundrum. He really is a troublesome guy.
I’d tried everything from extremely flashy clothes to fashionable clothes with more subdued colors. To my horror, none of them suited him whatsoever. Who are you?! The simple wish of trying to get him looking somewhat trendy resulted in him looking like an overgrown middle schooler. The only clothes that might’ve looked good on him were the random clothes that moms would buy their kids. If anything, the student uniform, which had zero individuality to it, looked best on him so far.
“Satisfied yet, Kurenai-san?”
“No, not yet! Just hold on! I’ll think of something soon! I’m gonna come up with the perfect outfit that will bring you into the spotlight!”
Joe took off the hat I’d given him. “I don’t really care if anyone notices me or not,” he said expressionlessly, making it hard to know what was going through his head.
“There you go again. Listen—”
But as I said this, Joe made a troubled expression and looked at me. “Wanting any more than this is a luxury I can’t afford.”
My brain that could answer any problem or any equation thrown at it was having trouble identifying the emotion gripping my heart at that moment. What does he mean by “this”? But maybe I didn’t have to wonder too hard. From his gaze, I could tell that he meant me. How can you be so...free of desire? I’m nothing special. I’m simply a little more arrogant than the average person. But...
“Kurenai-san?”
I looked away from him. Stop. Don’t look at me. If you see me right now, I’ll never be the same Suzuri Kurenai that you know. I hid my mouth with my scarf and steadied my breathing.
I hated those who didn’t know their own strength. However, I hated those who refused to try and recognize their own strength even more. That’s why I wouldn’t give up. I’m going to keep going until you finally recognize your own worth. But for now...if you say that I’m good enough for you, then I’ll stop here for today.
“Let’s go.”
“Huh?”
“You need to change.”
After making him change back into his uniform, I pulled him by the hand out of the store and to a different floor. Our destination? A phone shop. I walked towards the accessories area and we stood in front of the case.
“Which one do you think is most like me?”
“Huh? Uh...” Joe was lost, but eventually pointed towards a sky-blue phone case. “This...probably.”
“I’ll take it,” I said, grabbing the case.
“This...isn’t going to be my gift, is it?”
“It is. This size okay?”
“Yeah, but...”
“Good.” We went to the cashier and checked out. Then, I put the case in Joe’s hands. “This is the case that you think is most like me.”
“Uh...so?”
“So, I want you to think of it as a replacement for me.” I moved my face closer to his as he blinked with bewilderment. “That way, no matter when it is or where you are, only I’ll be able to look at you, right?”
Even if nobody around noticed you, I would be there, watching you. “If that’s not good enough, you can call me. No matter where you hide in this world, I’ll find you using this brain that people consider a prodigy’s,” I said, jokingly, flashing Aisa’s patented femme fatale smile. “In other words, I’m your birthday present. Do with me as you wish.”
And Now, The Punch Line
Yume Irido
“Wow...” Her story was a different kind of wonderful than Aso-senpai’s. I couldn’t help but exhale in amazement. “You really try to act cool around Haba-senpai, don’t you?”
“Hold on. You’re making it sound as if I’m not always like that.”
“I’ve never heard anyone say the line ‘I’m your birthday present’ as coolly as you did!”
“Indeed. That’s precisely right,” she said, nodding proudly.
Aso-senpai lay her head in her hands and stared at President Kurenai. “Um...aren’t you forgetting the messy bits?”
“Hm?”
“If I remember right, you were texting up a storm after that because Joe-kun was all like, ‘I’m happy you feel that way, but that’s a little much for me.’”
“Nope! Didn’t happen!”
Well, that makes sense. It’s a little much for a girl you’re not even dating to offer themselves as a present. It’ll also be extremely obvious if he doesn’t use the phone case.
“In that case, isn’t it a lot for a girl to give a guy they’re not even dating a neckl—”
“Hm? That’s weird. I could’ve sworn I heard something coming out of your mouth, Yumechi...”
“Nope. Nothing.”
I wasn’t thinking about how at the very least, a phone case had a lot more practical use than a necklace. Not at all!
“In the first place,” Aso-senpai began, folding her arms angrily, “it’s pretty impudent of the giftee to complain! Regardless of how ‘much’ or ‘little’ it is, they should be crying tears of joy!”
“Well said, for once, Aisa. Going back even further, the guys of the student council are too passive. Despite society striving for diversity and gender equality, it’d be nice once in a while for the guys to show a little backbone.”
“Hard agree! Are his muscles just for show?! At least shove me against a frickin’ wall once in a while!”
They were getting out of control with their grievances. All I could do was awkwardly smile as they went back and forth about their desires and complaints.
And Now, the Punch Line of the Punch Line
The following day, I was still no closer to figuring out what to get Mizuto for his birthday. When I walked into the student council room, I saw Hoshibe-senpai taking a nap on the couch and Haba-senpai working.
That’s when I noticed a silver necklace peeking out from Hoshibe-senpai’s shirt and a sky-blue case on Haba-senpai’s phone. They looked clean, like they’d been taken good care of. I think they might deserve a little more credit. I had a feeling that they’d reward the feelings of their respective gift givers sooner or later.
Thinking about that, I remembered what I’d heard from Aso-senpai and President Kurenai the other day. If it was hard to get the person alone, I could invite them as part of a group. All I had to do was give him a gift that I wanted to give him. Okay. In that case...
A Family Birthday
Mizuto Irido
Yume had told me to keep the day of our birthday open. Honestly, I’d expected it. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. It was as if I’d gone back to how innocent I used to be in middle school with how much I was anticipating this. Was she gonna take me on a date? Was she gonna have us get dressed up and exchange gifts like when we dated? In actuality, reality practically laughed in my face.
“Happy birthday!” Yuni-san, my stepmother, said with a bright, cheerful expression. “Choose whichever cake slice you want. I splurged a bit and got an assortment of expensive ones!” She placed a rectangular box in front of us.
“The original idea was to get a whole cake, but then when we actually looked at them, we realized they were too big,” dad said.
“Yeah, we got kinda worried we couldn’t finish it all. Also, I’m sure that Yume’s getting to the age where she’s worrying about calories.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve yet to diet,” Yume said facetiously.
“So jealous!” Yuni-san sounded almost like a child.
Yume opened the box with the cakes and looked inside. “I’ll take this chocolate one then!” She carefully pulled out a brown cake. “What about you?” she asked, pushing the box to me.
She’s acting like nothing’s wrong. What was all that about me keeping today open? Why’d she been so cryptic about it? Did she really ask me to keep today open just so we could celebrate with our family? Why the hell had I been sweating all day, then?!
“I’ll take the cheesecake.”
I didn’t show how bitter I felt inside. I understood the logic. She probably thought that I’d skip out on birthday festivities without a second thought. She could’ve at least been honest about her plans! What was the point of being so cryptic about this?! Just spit it out next time!
“And here are your birthday presents,” dad said, giving me and Yume each a small envelope—the kind that people would get for New Year’s. “Don’t worry, Yuni-san and I got you kids different gifts.”
“Thank you! Can I open it?”
“It’s nothing special,” dad said to Yume. “Just ten thousand yen’s worth of gift cards you can use at a bookstore of your choice.”
“Huh?!”
Yume opened the envelope and pulled out about ten cards. I was pretty used to seeing these already.
“Ten thousand yen...”
“Apparently that’s what he does every year,” Yuni-san said. “Boring, right?”
“Aw, can you blame me? Mizuto loves it,” dad insisted.
“I-I really like it too! I’m seriously happy! Thank you so much!” Yume beamed.
I could see millions of possibilities of books she could buy flying around in her head. With that much money, you’d be set on books for a while. The gift was probably especially useful for Yume since she had a tendency to buy more expensive books.
“It’s my turn! Here Yume, you first!”
Yuni-san brought a bottle out of her bag and put it in front of Yume.
“Perfume?” Yume asked, picking it up.
“Yep! It’s the expensive, adult kind! I thought I should give my daughter something to match how much of a little temptress she’s becoming!”
“I-I am? Is that what it looks like?”
“Yep! You must be quite the heartthrob at school! Oh, my daughter, the heartthrob!”
“N-No, I’m not...”
Yume’s definitely being modest here. She’d gone up from being just the top student in our grade to also being a member of the student council of beauties. Not a day went by that I didn’t hear someone talking about her. Kawanami and Minami-san had been complaining to me about how there were more people thinking about asking her out and how they wished that they were more considerate to them, the people who had to shut them down. But also, what were the two of them doing behind the scenes?
“And this is for you, Mizuto-kun!” Yuni-san said, standing up and going to the corner of the room to bring over something round.
“Is it a cushion?”
“Yep! A beanbag chair!” She pushed her hand into it as if to demonstrate its softness. “I think it’ll level up your reading experience! Just be careful not to use it too much. If you get too hooked on it, you’ll never leave the house again.”
I knelt in front of the cushion and pressed my hand into it to check the softness. Oh... This feels nice. I think Isana would enjoy this gift more than I, though.
“Thank you very much,” I said. “I’ll be sure to use it an appropriate amount.”
“Good! Make sure you tell Higashira-san about it too!”
Oh god, she knows how often Isana comes over.
“Wow, that’s so nice. I kinda wish I had one too,” Yume peeked at it from behind.
“Why don’t you ask Mizuto if you can use it every now and then?” dad suggested.
“No, the only girl I can think of who could actually go into a boy’s room and sit in it without reserve is Higashira-san,” Yuni-san said with a laugh.
“Aw, why not? Yume doesn’t have to be reserved. After all, they’re siblings!”
Siblings...huh? The time we spent as a family, the times that I’d been made acutely aware that she’s a girl—both of them comprised my life, but sometimes it got hard to separate the two. I know I want to be by your side. I couldn’t deny that this desire existed within me any longer. The problem was...how was I going to go about achieving that? I still had no idea.
An Inevitable Meeting
“Mom! You’re drinking too much...”
“I’m fiiine!” she slurred with a drunken giggle.
“If you’re gonna sleep, do it in your bed, okay?”
It was rare to see Yuni-san so drunk. Dad silently tilted his glass and smiled gently as he watched Yume put Yuni-san’s arm around her neck and carry her away.
“She must’ve been so happy to celebrate with the four of us.”
“Because our birthdays are coincidentally on the same day?” I asked.
Dad’s eyebrows lowered slightly. “Hm, I’m not sure I would write this off as a coincidence. Maybe it is, but you could also call it...inevitable.”
“Huh?”
“You know, cause and effect. The world’s...so well put together.” Dad was pretty tipsy too, but his eyes were focused. It was almost as if he was looking out into the distance. “Now that I think about it, I never told you how Yuni-san and I met, did I?”
“You told me it was through work.” I’m pretty sure that’s how he explained it to me when he told me about his remarriage.
Dad slightly shook his head. “That was the trigger for us getting married, but...truth be told, we met much earlier.”
“Oh, really?”
“At the hospital. The one where you both were born.”
I hadn’t really been giving him my full attention until then and had only been giving half-hearted responses as if on autopilot, but this made my ears perk up. Did he say the hospital where we were both born? We were born at the same hospital?
“Surprising, isn’t it? But it’s not too crazy when you think about it. After all, we lived in the same town and you two were born on the same day. It makes sense. You don’t remember it, of course, but the two of you were in the same nursery when you were born sixteen years ago.”
He has a point. I guess it’s not all that crazy. The two of us had gone to the same middle school, which meant that we’d been in the same school district. Our houses hadn’t even been that far away from one another’s. Taking all that into account, it wasn’t strange whatsoever that we’d been born in the same hospital.
“On that day, Kana...your mother was teetering between life and death. I was a mess—completely lost in the dark. I couldn’t even picture ten seconds into the future. I couldn’t focus on work. All I could do was idle away at the hospital. But that’s when a woman who was passing by called out to me.”
“And that was Yuni-san?”
“Right. She’d just given birth to Yume-chan.” Dad awkwardly smiled. “I swear to you that I didn’t cheat or anything, okay? We didn’t even exchange names. All we did was share the burdens on our minds. She was worried about how her husband was so focused on work that he didn’t even try to attend the birth of his own child. Despite that, she saw me in worse shape than she was and couldn’t just leave me be. According to her, I had a look on my face as if the world had just ended.” Yume had told me before that Yuni-san’s ex-husband had always been working. Apparently, it had gotten to the point where it was almost like he was just renting a room in their house. “Yuni-san told me that though she had no clue how things would turn out with her home situation, as soon as she saw her child’s face, she started getting excited for the future. After that, I went to look at your face, and I started to feel a little courage to face tomorrow. If I hadn’t, I might’ve resented you after being left behind by Kana.”
“Left behind.” All this time, I’d just taken my past as a matter of fact, but now, I felt paralyzed by it. The one thing I never wanted to experience was being left behind.
“So in a sense...Yuni-san is my savior.” The ice in his glass clinked. “After fifteen years of desperately working while raising a child, I felt like I could finally process what happened with Kana. Just when I did, I was reunited with that savior of mine. I knew at first glance that if I was going to marry someone else, it could only be her.” Dad was beginning to look like his focus was slipping. His eyelids hung heavy. “That’s why...I’m happy that...the four of us could spend today as a family. I’m so...so happy.”
His head slowly but surely drooped until he fell to the table, fast asleep. It was rare for him to drink so much that he’d get like this. He wasn’t kidding when he’d said today was special for both him and Yuni-san.
“Hm? Did he pass out?” Yume asked as she came back to the living room and heard his soft breathing.
“Yeah. Sorry, could you grab a blanket?”
“Sure.”
Yume left and came back with a blanket and draped it over his shoulders. With this, our birthday celebration was over. Now that our parents were asleep, the two of us took it upon ourselves to clean up the dishes.
“Hey...” I started, but ultimately decided against finishing.
As it turned out, us becoming siblings might not have had anything to do with our destiny. Rather, perhaps we were being strung along by the red string of fate that tied our parents together. They’d met because of their children. It was inevitable that they’d ended up together. Maybe the only trap that fate had laid for us had been our meeting in the middle school library.
“What?” Yume asked, turning around.
“Make sure to put the leftover cake in the fridge.”
“Huh? Yeah, I know...”
There was probably no reason to mention any of this. Fate, destiny... It didn’t matter. The two of us had something we needed to protect. Keeping that in mind and determining what to do next was something that I’d have to figure out by myself.
Pointless Small Talk Can Calm the Heart
My eyes fell to my desk as I entered my room. On top of it was a small, wrapped gift. As I touched it, an image of Yume flashed through my head, reminding me of how she’d spent our entire birthday celebration as if nothing had been wrong—as if she hadn’t made a point of telling me to leave today open for some mysterious reason.
It’s almost as if we’re back in middle school and I’m once again getting all excited and then depressed by myself. Though I’d been so sure I’d grown out of that confused phase, before I knew it, I’d regressed. Am I really back where I started? If I am, and I get what I want, and Yume and I do end up dating again...doesn’t that just mean things will end in ruin like they did before? No, it’d be even worse. Our breakup wouldn’t affect just us anymore.
“Hm?” My phone started vibrating in my pocket. Isana? “Hello?”
“Greetings! Happy birthday!”
Hearing her carefree voice made me relax a little. “You knew? I don’t remember ever telling you.”
“This information was received courtesy of Yume-san. I’ll present you with your gift at school tomorrow.”
“You got me a present? Not like you to follow convention.”
“Which would you prefer, a swimsuit version or bunny girl version?”
“Forget it. Scrap whatever you’re working on.”
“Oh, come on! I’ve already completed the preliminary sketches...of Yume-san in both a swimsuit and a bunny suit.”
“You drew her?! Delete those sketches now!”
And here I was sure that she was trying to offer cosplay options for herself to come in. Please never give anyone a birthday gift if that’s the kind of thing you’re cooking up.
“Well, jokes aside...” Isana said with a chuckle.
“You could stand to make your jokes a little more obvious...”
“Have you already given her a gift? I’m certain you prepared one, didn’t you?”
I looked down at the small gift by my hand. “Yeah...I got her one.”
“Oh? Judging by your choice of words, does that mean you haven’t—”
“Yeah, I haven’t given it to her yet,” I snapped. “What’s the big deal? We live in the same house. I’ve got a million chances to give it to her.”
“You say that, but time will pass you by in an instant and before you know it, it’ll already be next year! Heed my words: you don’t want to end up with a desk overflowing with presents you couldn’t give out!” Why are you making me imagine something so horrible? I guess even I can’t deny that things could end up that way. “If it doesn’t seem as though you’re going to give it to her, I will step in and drop some hints to Yume-san,” Isana threatened. “It’ll be similar to the method that some employ—requesting a friend to ask your crush out for you. Are you willing to taint such a special event with such a lame type of inaction?”
“Okay, stop. This is hitting way too close to home.” It was frightening to even imagine. If that situation ever came to fruition, I’d probably run away from home.
“Out of curiosity, is it okay if I ask what you got her?”
“It’s not anything flashy like an accessory. Giving that to someone when you’re not even dating is kind of a lot.”
“Oh, so is it a gift of the practical variety? You little chicken.”
I internally cursed, knowing that she’d hit the nail on the head. I really hated how she phrased the truth in such nasty ways.
“Yeah, so?! The more important thing is that I’m actually giving her a gift!”
“Oh, yes. It is much better as the receiver of the gift to simply awkwardly smile while you receive it and then later be fraught with thoughts of what to actually do with the gift.”
“Did I kill your family or something?”
“Well, no, my sharp words most likely have more to do with the fact that you didn’t accept my proposal of courtship.”
“I might have put myself in your debt for the rest of my life by doing that...” I had a feeling that she wouldn’t ever let go of what I’d done.
Isana giggled. “Well, at any rate, you should go off and create a good atmosphere with Yume-san. She can have you today. I’m content waiting until tomorrow for your company.”
“Are you trying to make it sound like I’m cheating?”
“It really gets the blood flowing when I imagine being your mistress,” Isana giggled.
“Yeah, my heart’s beating faster, but not for the reason you’re thinking. But how am I supposed to create a good atmosphere?”
“You speak as if you’re a novice in the matter. Have you not been in a relationship with her before?”
“Things...are different now.”
“Then allow me to provide my fantasy situation! During your chat after you bed each other, you—”
I hung up before she could finish her sentence. Your assumptions are wrong—like, all wrong. I put my phone down and looked at the gift again. Thanks to talking to Isana with her carefree and random statements, I felt much more relaxed. I could actually feel my brain working again.
I was right. Things were different now. Why overthink it? All I had to do was give her the present. I didn’t need to worry about the specifics or doing anything special. As I’d said, the important thing wasn’t the gift but the act of giving it.
“Okay,” I said, making up my mind and picking up the small package.
Suddenly, I heard a knock at my door. “You in there?”
The Desire That Can’t Fit into Just a Few Words
The door opened, and there stood Yume in her pajamas. “I’m coming in.”
“H-Hey!”
Yume didn’t hesitate at all and swiftly entered my room. Her eyes immediately fell on the cushion that I’d received from Yuni-san, and she jumped onto it without even asking.
“Oh, this is a good cushion. I wish I’d gotten one too.”
“What about the rule against going into each other’s room at night?”
Hadn’t we come up with this rule to avoid causing our parents any concern? I could’ve sworn we’d both agreed to contact each other over the phone if we really needed something.
Yume looked up at me and grinned. “It’s okay. They’re both drunk and passed out. If you’d like, we could forgo our usual sibling rules, Onii-chan.”
“Oh, right. Our sibling rules. It’s been a while since those have been mentioned...” She hadn’t invoked them during the incident in the bath, so I thought she’d forgotten.
Yume scooched over. “There’s room for one more, y’know.”
“Huh? What are you trying to—”
“Can’t you indulge your little sister’s whims, Onii-chan?”
“If that’s how you try to use the rules, then there’s no point to them anymore!”
“Just get over here!”
“Agh!” Yume forcibly pulled me by the wrist, making me land in the spot next to her.
This cushion was only designed for one person, so it was a tight fit. Our shoulders were pressed against one another’s. I could smell the sweet scent of soap from her.
“Does this count as sibling-like?” I asked as I moved as far to the edge of the cushion as possible.
Yume moved closer, as if she was following me. “Of course. They were like this in Grave of the Fireflies.”
Regardless of whether you’re referencing the novel or the movie, I’m positive that the siblings weren’t pressing their bodies against each other while sitting in the comfort of a beanbag chair like this.
Then, a silence fell between us. Despite her out-of-character, forceful behavior, she still had yet to state why she’d come here. We sat there for a minute, our shoulders touching, increasing my awareness of her body warmth and her softness. I was starting to think that this would last forever, but that foolish thinking didn’t last long, because in the next moment, Yume opened her mouth.
“Happy...birthday.”
“Y-Yeah. You too.” Huh? Why now? We just finished celebrating.
“I...got you a...present.” She was speaking slowly as if she was taking time to choose her words carefully. It took me a while to process what she’d said. “I actually got it a while ago, but I thought that if I gave it to you earlier, our parents would’ve figured it out from my behavior. So...here I am giving it to you in the eleventh hour.”
I flashed a glance at the clock, which read eleven o’clock. There was less than an hour left of our birthdays.
Yume rummaged behind her back and pulled out a wrapped gift. Wait, have you been hiding that this entire time? Is that why you wanted to sit on the cushion?
“Here,” she said curtly, handing me the gift.
I accepted it mostly out of reflex. It was a nicely wrapped package that fit snugly in my palm. Putting it another way, it was book-sized. I glanced to the side and saw that Yume’s eyes were cast downwards at her knees. Despite how much time we’d spent together, I had no clue what was going through her head or what she was feeling.
“Can I open it?” I asked hesitantly.
Yume slightly nodded, so I proceeded to carefully unwrap it. At the end of it all, I saw something I was incredibly familiar with. It’s a book sleeve. Not just that, it was a stunning navy blue.
“I...” It was hard not to remember this. It was the same thing that I’d bought her for her birthday back in middle school. The color and design may have been slightly different, but...
“I’ve been thinking...” Yume began speaking while gazing at the ceiling. “More than not, you’re coming to my rescue. If it weren’t for you, I might have never gotten the last push I needed to join the student council. I told myself that I’d stop relying on you, but...then I realized just how much you’ve been supporting me.” It was almost hard to believe how honest she was being. Her words flowed out of her mouth, washing over me like a cool, refreshing stream. “You might hate me for it, and that’s okay. But even so, I want to thank you for all the support you’ve given me. If it’s okay...I’d like it if you continued to do so, but not as your ex, or your sibling... I can’t really find the words to say what I want.”
No, I get it. Hearing that she was thinking the same as I would’ve made my past, simpleton mind ecstatic. I’d be overjoyed that we were thinking the same thing, that our hearts were one. But that’s not how it is anymore. Neither of us is the same simpleton we used to be. Complicated emotions would swirl around our heads like a whirlpool. It didn’t matter how many books we read, we’d never find the right words to describe our thoughts. But even so...
“I...wanted to give you a new one,” she said, clearly stating her desire. “I figured you threw away the last one I got you, but either way...I want you to use the one I’m giving you now. Not the old one.” She kept her shoulder fastened against mine.
She isn’t running away. She’s using the gift as a vehicle to directly push her desires onto me. Some might have interpreted this as selfish with how the present she gave didn’t seem to take the recipient’s feelings into account whatsoever, but... Oh, I see. That’s right. We’re way past the point where we need to be considerate of each other.
“I...” After making up my mind, I began speaking, surprising Yume, and making her tremble slightly. “I-I’m okay with forgoing our sibling rules today too, Nee-san.”
What about the Future?
Yume Irido
“Huh?”
I looked to my side, where Mizuto stretched out to his desk and grabbed a small packaged gift. It was small enough that it could fit in my palm—about the size of a book. No way, right?
“Here,” he said, offering it to me. “Happy birthday.”
As soon as he dropped it in my hand, I was filled with disbelief. “H-Huh? I-Is this—”
“Just open it.”
I nervously unwrapped the gift and found exactly what I’d expected inside—a red book cover.
“I didn’t expect us to get each other the same gift.” Seeing how I was speechless from all the emotions welling up inside me, he exhaled. “For the record, there’s no meaning behind it like with your gift. This was just...the first thing that came to mind.”
“Wh-Why? D-Don’t you remember what happened in the past?!”
“Of course I remember.” He frowned, almost like he was offended. “I wasn’t sure if this was the right direction to go. I was worried you might not like it because it’d give the impression that I’m bogged down by unresolved feelings. But the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t think of anything but this. You’re going all over the place because of your duties on the student council, and I’m sure you’re carrying a book with you when you do. It’d be easy for it to get damaged. I figured it’d be hard to use something your ex got you, so there shouldn’t be any issue with you having two of them.”
Oh...I see. I’d given him the book sleeve because I’d wanted to, but Mizuto had chosen his gift with my well-being in mind.
“Thanks...” I held the book cover in a slightly different color than the one I’d gotten two years ago against my chest. “I’ll be careful with it.”
“Don’t be. It didn’t break the bank or anything. I’ll just buy you a new one if it gets damaged.”
“So...you’ll buy one for me next year too?”
“Next year? How badly are you treating it that you’ll need a replacement in a year?” Seeing me giggle, he looked down at the book cover I’d gotten him. “Thanks for this. I’m surprisingly happy with it.”
“Which one made you happier? This one or the one I gave you back then?”
“They’re about the same...I think.”
The same? Then I guess I need to try just a little harder. “I’m gonna make you eat those words next year.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
Just a little more. I’ve just about got your death warrant signed, past me. I’m going to surpass you for sure. Just watch.
I’m a Coward
Mizuto Irido
After that, we each read a book on the cushion in order to get a feel for our presents. Eventually, I felt a weight on my shoulder. I glanced over and saw that Yume was leaning her head on my shoulder and letting out soft breaths as she dozed off.
“Really? Sheesh...”
It was past midnight by now. Our birthday had come and gone. She usually didn’t stay up this late. Fine. I’ll have to think about how to get her to her bed. But... I quieted my breathing as I looked at Yume through her bangs. It felt the same. I was just as happy as I’d been back when we were dating. I can’t believe my feelings have already gotten this intense.
In the past, I thought that romance was just a flight of fancy. But now, I knew that this...this wasn’t anything of the sort. I was so certain of my feelings. Just as dad knew Yuni-san was the one he wanted to remarry when they were reunited, I knew that there was nobody else but her for me.
I’ll admit it. I’m not going to hide behind words anymore, at least not in my head. I love you, and because I love you, I want to be by your side. That’s why we can’t stay as just siblings. I extended my finger towards Yume’s bangs. Don’t wake up. I brushed my knuckle through her bangs. Do you think I’m being a coward for finding my resolve but being content with this situation? You’ll never know how I only have the courage to touch you like this when you’re asleep. But even so, I can’t help but think about how stupid I’m being, procrastinating. I’m just a coward. An emotionally immature coward. But even so, I...
I’m a Coward
Yume Irido
Do you think I’m being a coward for finding my resolve but being content with this situation? Am I a coward for pretending to be asleep and waiting for you to touch me like this? Is it bad of me to not be the one trying to make the move? But even so, I can’t help but think about how stupid I’m being, procrastinating. I’m just a coward. An emotionally immature coward. But even so, I...want to stay like this a little longer.
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