My Stepsister is My Ex-Girlfriend - Volume 3 - Chapter 7

The Ex-Childhood Friend Is Lonely

“I don’t need you anymore.”

There’s a certain undeniable fact that makes my hair stand on end whenever I recall it: I had a so-called boyfriend for a period of time in middle school. He was my childhood friend for as long as I could remember—a person who might as well have been my sibling. It was a given that wherever I was, he’d be there too.

Have you ever gotten a crush on your older brother or longed for your little brother? I’m sure there are people like that somewhere in the world, but it’s more common for one’s first love to be a relative that they don’t see all that often. Essentially, people typically fall for someone they don’t see regularly. That’s why I never saw that guy as a romantic interest...not until a very particular incident, at least.

Apparently, there’s the term “latchkey children,” which describes a small fraction of kids who have to carry their house keys because neither of their parents come home until late at night.

When I was still in elementary school, I would always enter the apartment without saying anything. No reason to—nobody was around to hear me announcing my return. I didn’t say goodbye in the mornings for the same reason...nor did I have any friends to say anything to.

That being said, I was very codependent. If someone was nice to me, I’d stick to them like glue and wouldn’t let go no matter what. If they distanced themselves from me even a little bit, I’d start to grow worried and cling to them even more. (See: my clinginess with Yume-chan from earlier.)

Back then, I had no self-awareness or self-control, so people naturally distanced themselves from me. Nobody wanted to walk home with me, let alone be my friend.

When I’d come home, I’d put my backpack on the couch, and then look at the dining table to see the usual note telling me that dinner was in the freezer. When I opened it, I’d be greeted with a trove of frozen dinners to pick from. I never once thought that the way I lived was sad or lonely in the slightest. I was already used to it, so I believed it was normal.

However, sometimes when I was deciding what to eat, tears would well up in my eyes. There was nobody around to share a meal with. I’d plop down on the couch and use the tablet left on the coffee table to watch internet videos, especially from this one channel. I’d laugh so much watching their new videos. This was how I’d spent most of my days.

Sometimes I’d hear voices from next door. A boy named Ko-kun lived next to me. He was a popular boy and had a lot of friends who’d come over after school. His parents were barely ever around, and he had fast internet and a lot of games—it was the perfect place to hang for guys their age.

It might seem like we didn’t really spend time together, but that wasn’t necessarily the case. Even back then, it wasn’t too unusual for us to eat dinner together. The only thing was that he was a social guy who had something like a hundred friends, so our time together decreased more and more.

There wasn’t much I could do about it. He seemed to have fun hanging out with his new friends, and I didn’t want to be clingy and make him hate me like my friends did.

Would it have been fun if I had a bunch of friends over like he did? Ultimately, I’d concluded that since I was bad at reading the room, I might make things weird. With that in mind, it was easier to be by myself, so I continued watching videos on my favorite channel, where they’d play with cats. That way, I’d never have to worry about anyone having any weird ideas about me.

“Kawanami, are you goin’ out with Minami?”

One day, this question suddenly came from the other side of the wall, making my heart jump out of my chest. We were at the age that these kinds of questions were normal. We were starting to grow up, so we knew what dating was, but only really thought of it as a guy and a girl spending time together.

Basically, Ko-kun and I spent so much time together that of course he’d be asked if we were dating. This was the first time I’d heard it, but it was entirely possible that he’d been asked a million times over.

I was very curious as to how he’d answer. I wasn’t his girlfriend or anything, so it’d be problematic if he said we were, even as a joke. He was popular, and if the other girls heard I was dating him, they might start bullying me for not knowing my place.

Thinking back, I couldn’t believe how shallow I was for only thinking about myself and my circumstances. It was rude when Ko-kun had been sincerely looking out for me.

“Huh? We’re not like that. She’s so much better than a girlfriend!”

I froze as I heard him say that. I couldn’t think. My ears were filled with the sound of my rapidly pounding heart.

“Doesn’t that mean that you like her?”

“No! Our relationship’s not that stupid! It’s way better than dating!”

His voice passed through my left ear and then went out my right. Before I knew it, a new video had already begun to autoplay. The tablet fell to the floor. I staggered to my room without picking it up, crashed on my bed, held my pillow against my chest, screamed into it, and flailed my legs wildly.

My face was as red as if I’d just come back from a run. The heat inside me spun around like a hurricane, and I had no idea how to calm myself down.

There was no way he wouldn’t be teased. He had to think I was annoying. I had no problem with him lying to get them off his back, but even so, he’d told them that he actually liked being with me.

Sure, maybe he was just snapping back at them. Maybe he’d said it as a reflex. But still...that’s a weird thing to say reflexively. What had he meant when he said I was “better than a girlfriend”?

But even if I didn’t know what he meant or what his real intentions were, I was so happy that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I thought I was going crazy.

That was probably the moment when something important inside me broke. If that was how he thought about me, he might never get a girlfriend, and it’d be all my fault. I felt bad for him, so I came up with a solution. If he wanted a girlfriend, then all I had to do was become his girlfriend.

With that, the seed of our hell was planted.

◇

Summer vacation had begun, and I was currently rolling around on my bed while embracing my pillow.

“Ah, Yume-chaaan!”

I wasn’t worried at all. Even if we were on break, I still could’ve met up with her, but I’d failed to take into account how serious of a person Yume-chan was. She’d been hell-bent on finishing her homework sooner rather than later, meaning that July was Yume-chanless.

I liked how diligent she was, but it left me in this situation where I was withering away due to Yume-chan deficiency. It was times like these that I hated Irido-kun from the bottom of my heart since he got to live with her. I tried reaching out to her over LINE, but no matter how long I waited, there was never any indication that she’d even read my messages.

When the afternoon rolled around, the doorbell rang. Specifically my doorbell, not just someone buzzing into the general apartment building. No one could get into my building without being buzzed in, so I figured it had to be a neighbor.

I really didn’t want to answer the door, but since I was tasked with watching the house, I couldn’t just ignore people who came by, no matter how annoying it was to deal with them.

“Coming,” I called out, jumping over the piles of clothes strewn across the living room to reach the front door.

I didn’t even bother peeking through the hole to see who it was. I just opened it and saw my neighbor standing there—a neighbor I knew very well and very much did not want to see.

“Yo,” he said, raising his hand to greet me.

Standing at the entrance of my apartment was a boy the same age as I who lived in the apartment next door—Kogure Kawanami.

I took one look at him and then moved to wordlessly shut the door.

“Ah, hold on a second, miss,” he said, sticking his foot out like a pushy salesman.

I looked at his stupid all-smiles face with dead eyes.

“What do you want? Are you trying to force your way into a girl’s apartment? I’m gonna call the police.”

“I’m not here because I want to be. Your mom told me to look after you since she won’t be home for a while. You always slack on cleaning and stuff during long breaks even though you’re good at it.”

“I’m not slacking...”

“Have you looked in a mirror? Your hair’s a mess, your shirt’s inside out, and you’re not even wearing a bra... Oh, wait, I guess you don’t really need to.”

“Help! I need hel—”

“Shut up! You’re gonna bother the neighbors! Either way, they already know you’re lying!”

“Mmff, mmff!”

Kawanami covered my mouth with his hand and pushed his way inside. You’re totally acting like a burglar! At the very least, I decided to kick him in the crotch, but my leg was met with a hard object.

“So sorry, but I came prepared.”

“Grrr.”

I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t able to use the same strategy again. This crafty bastard... But soon enough, I realized it was more annoying to try and keep him out, so I just walked back to the living room.

“You’re here to check on things, right? Whatever. Go ahead.”

“Thanks, I will. Geh—” As soon as he entered the living room, he let out a noise as if he’d found a cat’s corpse. “God... You could at least throw away the empty cup noodles.”

“Shut it.” I kicked the boxes of snacks in my path away and lay down on the couch.

He was so full of himself even though I was the one who used to take care of him. But if he’s so gung ho about taking care of me, then I might as well take advantage of that and leave the cleaning to him.

Kawanami picked up a trash bag and began tossing all the garbage on the floor into it. Of course this guy knows where the trash bags are without me telling him. Either way, I refused to get up, so I swiped through my phone while idly moving my legs up and down.

After some time, Kawanami shot me a frustrated look. “Can you be a little more conscious of what you’re letting people see?”

My outfit today was an oversized shirt. Just that. I wasn’t wearing anything under it except my panties. It was more than enough for home-wear. Simple and comfortable. I couldn’t care less about how I looked in front of him.

In contrast, it seemed that Kogure-kun from the Kawanami family next door could not get his eyes off my thighs that were just barely covered by the hem of my shirt. Oh?

“I’m so sorry if my beautiful legs are turning you on. You can go home if you want to relieve yourself.”

“Not a bad idea. I’m in the mood for a pair of big tits, and I’m definitely not gettin’ that here.”

“I’m gonna kill you!” I threw a cushion at him, but he easily caught it and threw it back on the couch.

He grimaced as he picked up some of my clothes. “Ew, you’re really leaving your panties out here?”

“Don’t steal them. I’m running low.”

“’Cause you got fat?”

“Because I haven’t done laundry!”

“That’s not much better.”

I’d gotten bored of doing whatever on my phone, so I turned over on the couch and faced Kawanami. “Listen, you...”

“What?”

“How can you neglect yourself so much, yet be so nosy when it comes to other people?”

“You’re not one to talk. Your place is the living incarnation of neglecting yourself.”

“You’re nosy when it comes to Irido-kun.”

“And you’re nosy when it comes to Higashira. I heard all about the tips you tried to give her.”

“Having been raised in the same environment, I guess we have the same personality too.”

“You talking about us?” Kawanami laughed through his nose. “If you’re trying to piss me off, you’re doin’ a great job.”

It’s true that the two of us are nothing alike. Though we may have been raised like siblings, at our core, we were two different people. He was a social butterfly, and I was a social caterpillar.

“God, you piss me off.”

“Quit your bitching. I’m gonna clean up the minimum amount and then leave. I have plans.”

“‘Plans’?! Did you get a girlfriend or something?”

“Are you trying to start a fight?”

I laughed, knowing he physically couldn’t have a girlfriend due to his condition. So what are you trying to hide from me?

“I have a friend coming over. They won’t be loud or anything, so don’t worry.”

“Oh, so they’re the quiet type?”

“Yeah, you know them pretty well,” Kawanami’s lips bent into a smirk. “It’s Mizuto-kun from the Irido family.”

I’d asked to join him, but he wouldn’t let me, because he’s lame. I wanted to see how he’d react if I tried flirting with Irido-kun, but I could totally see Irido-kun pushing me away without being flustered in the slightest. The thought of him not reacting to me kinda made me want to cry. Not seriously though.

I’d rather Irido-kun get with Higashira-san, because that’d leave Yume-chan open, and I could finally be with her! Oh, I want to sleep in the same bed as Yume-chan...

While I was lost in my thoughts, I heard voices from outside. It seemed that Irido-kun had arrived. The voices moved past my door and to Kawanami’s place, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. The soundproofing’s better than it used to be.

Irido-kun rarely came to Kawanami’s place, which made me curious about his motives, especially since Kawanami was so tight-lipped. If I were Irido-kun, I wouldn’t have taken one step out of the house that Yume-chan was in just to go to Kawanami’s place. He had to have had some kind of agenda.

I pushed my ear to the wall, but I could barely make out the muffled sound of voices. So close and yet so far, I grew even more desperate.

“Where is it...” I began rummaging through my closet where I kept all the things that I didn’t use anymore. “Oh, here it is!”

From the bottom of my stash of junk, I pulled out a box-shaped machine with headphones and a stethoscope-shaped microphone—a wall-contact microphone. It could pick up vibrations through the wall and precisely catch the sounds from the other side. I’d bought this in middle school after saving up my allowance.

I proudly brought it back to the living room wall, set it up, and turned it on. As soon as I confirmed that it was working right, I put on the headphones and pressed the microphone against the wall.

“You’re kidding me. You’re living the dream of every high school boy ever.”

“The grass is always greener. Your circumstances sound good to me. I’m jealous of how easy you can take it.”

I could clearly hear Kawanami and Irido-kun—in that order—talking. But I had no idea what they were talking about.

“I see what you mean. Jealousy brews without knowing the full picture of things. I’d swap with you any day of the week, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’d ever do that.”

“...”

“Stop grinning at me. You’re creeping me out. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want anyone else to have the pain of living in the same house as that girl. That’s it.”

“Uh-huh, I know, I know.”

“You definitely don’t believe me.”

Hmm. Did Irido-kun come over ’cause he wanted to get away from his house? It was possible, I guessed, that now that summer vacation was in full force, he had no choice but to constantly see Yume-chan, so maybe he’d gotten fed up and left? How nice! If you hate that life so much, switch with me!

If he heard me say that, he’d totally grimace. I know you would! You’re such an annoying guy!

“All right, how about you fork over the fee for me letting you chill here?” Kawanami said in a loud and clear voice.

“I don’t like the way you said that, but you’re right. It’s part of our deal.”

“It’s summer break. I bet you have a lot of fun tales for me.”

“Nope. Stop being gross. We’ve already been living together for four months. The kinds of risqué events that you’re hoping for don’t happen anymore.”

“I don’t need them to be risqué. I’m just looking for a peek into your daily life. For example...what do you two do for lunch? At school, you both have a lunch box.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, that idiot tried to make lunch by herself the other day.”

Yume-chan’s handmade lunch?!

“Her finger almost became an ingredient in the fried rice she was trying to cook. In the end, I had to chop up the vegetables for her.”

Wait... Then doesn’t that mean...

“So, Irido... What you’re saying is that the two of you were standing next to each other in the kitchen?”

“Yeah? How else would we prepare food?”

Before I knew it, I was digging my nails into the wall. The scraping sound flew back into the microphone, inflicting damage on myself.

“So...how’d it taste?”

“What do you think? Obviously, bad. It was so burnt, it was like eating ash.”

You goddamn lucky bastard!!! If you hated it that much, then I could’ve—

“But it was a lot better than the last time she tried making it.” His voice was curt, but tinged with bitterness. That was enough to make it clear that it actually tasted good!

“Irido, lemme ask you somethin’...”

“What?”

“Did you tell her that it was a lot better than before?”

“Huh? Hell no. Can you imagine what she’d do if she got a big head?”

“Tell her!” Kawanami and I hissed at the same time.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. It was to my benefit that Irido-kun lost points with Yume-chan, but I felt bad for her!

“Hm? Did you hear someone?”

“Oh, that was probably just the sound of a video or something. Anyway, what else you got for me?”

“Hm... I guess her AC unit’s been broken since the start of July, so while waiting for it to get fixed, she’s been spending most of her time in the living room with me. Sometimes when I look up, she’s fast asleep.”

I began grinding my teeth upon hearing him nonchalantly talk about all this time he had with Yume-chan. Oh to be in his shoes! I would’ve had the happiest month of my life! I felt like I was about to start crying tears of blood with how Yume-chan deficient I was, but I couldn’t let myself slip up and lose this chance to hear more about her home life. It was hard to concentrate though with my jealousy, beating heart, and all these emotions coming and going.

“All right, let’s keep this going! What’s next?”

“I’m tired. Don’t make me do all the talking. You should do some for a change, Kawanami.”

“Hm?”

“Minami-san’s next door isn’t she? You’ve gotta have some kind of story you can share. I don’t really care about the contents, but it’d help me try and figure out what goes on in her head.”

Wait, is he trying to get Kawanami to tell him a story similar to the one he told about Yume-chan? I suddenly sobered up from the possibility of my past being talked about.

“For Irido-san’s sake? Wow, you’re such an overprotective older brother.”

“You’re not changing the subject.”

“Fine...”

N-No, don’t! Just refuse! Do you know what’ll happen if you tell him anything?!

“I can tell you a story, but let me just warn you that it won’t be anything cute like with you and Irido-san. She’s crazy. She might’ve even broken a few laws.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m asking. But if you don’t want to share, then I’m out of stories. I’m pretty sure I already shared enough to pay my fee.”

“God, you don’t do anything for free, do you?”

I thought about banging against the wall, but that’d alert them to my eavesdropping. That would become a story he’d tell someday. But how much longer could I pretend like I didn’t know what was going on?

“Okay, so this was back in elementary school,” Kawanami began recounting. “We both got a smartphone at about the same time.”

“In elementary school? That’s kinda early.”

“Yeah, our parents were never really home, so they wanted to make sure that they had a way to reach us. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and LINE IDs.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And from then on, my phone was going off all the time.”

“Sounds about right. I get a lot of messages too—not that I read any of them.”

Oh yeah, I remember that. I was so happy about getting my first smartphone. I didn’t call him all the time because I wanted to talk to him; I just got addicted to the sound of his voice. It was the same feeling that people have when they get a new toy.

“It was fun using my new phone, so I went along with it at first. Eventually it got annoying, so I told her to chill out a bit. That solved my problem of being called all the time, but this is where the story begins.”

“That already sounded bad. It gets worse?”

“Yeah, it does. So you know how we’d usually eat dinner by ourselves ’cause our parents would get home late? I called her ’cause I thought we could eat together, but can you guess what happened?”

Wait. You’re telling him that story?!

“Hm? What? She didn’t pick up?”

“Well yeah, she didn’t pick up, but that’s because her phone was under my pillow.”

“Wait...what?”

I could feel myself cringing at Irido’s confused reaction.

“I heard something vibrating underneath my pillow only to find her phone there. I still don’t know when she left it there.”

“Couldn’t she have just left it there by accident and forgotten about it?”

“That’s what I thought, so I took it and brought it to her. Ah, I was so young back then. So naive. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that my childhood friend was secretly recording me.”

“...”

Okay. I can explain. Please, let me explain! I’d done that on a whim. As soon as I’d had the idea, I thought I had no choice but to do it! If I could acquire a recording of his voice, I wouldn’t have to call him anymore and we could stay on good terms.

Agh! I haven’t grown up since then! Even when I snuck into Yume-chan’s house, my train of thought was exactly the same as back then!

“I didn’t realize what she was doing at the time. It wasn’t until something similar happened in middle school that it finally dawned on me. Ever since then, I’ve gotten machines that can detect the waves from hidden microphones and stuff. I still regularly use them to check the apartment.”

“How do I put this...?” Irido-kun went silent for a moment, probably trying to pick the right words. The fact that he did this made it hurt all the more. “I’m surprised you’ve managed to stay sane with all that crazy next door.”

“I’ve already experienced hell. Compared to that, this is nothing.”

“Is today safe?”

“Of course! It’s been fine ever since we started high school. Although, I guess there are some things that I wouldn’t be able to detect. For example...” Kawanami intentionally dramatically paused before continuing. “A wall-contact microphone.”

My heart jumped. Does he know? Did he say all that because he knows I’m listening? Now that I thought about it, he had let it slip that Irido-kun was coming over. Was this all to tease me?! I-I can’t believe this! Why was this so planned out?! Does he hate me that much?! Okay, maybe he does hate me. I know that he does, but he should just ignore me. Why would he go out of his way to bother me? Either way, now that I knew he’d set me up, there was no need for me to go along any further with his little game.

But just as I was about to take the microphone off of the wall, he started talking again.

“But...” The microphone picked up his soft tone of voice. “I don’t think you need to worry about her all that much. She’s just a little bit lonelier than other people. That’s it.”

“‘A little’? Definitely doesn’t sound like that from what I heard.”

“She’s gotten a lot better. Even when she snuck into your house, I’m pretty sure she felt bad about it. As long as she doesn’t go out of control, it’s all good.”

“What happens if she does?”

“If she does...” Kawanami chuckled. “I’ll be there to stop her.”

I took the microphone off of the wall. That didn’t sound like something he intentionally wanted me to hear. Maybe he thought that as soon as I heard him talk about the wall-contact microphone, I would’ve stopped listening.

His words repeated in my head. “I’ll be there to stop her.”

Sure, I was prone to loneliness. I’m a weak person who’s prone to loneliness, someone who’ll freeze up if she’s not in contact with the warmth of another person. But even so...

“I don’t need you anymore.”

◇

“Yo, I’m here. Why’d you call me over so early?”

The next morning, I’d called Kawanami over for a certain reason.

“Help me clean.”

“Again? You didn’t do any cleaning by yourself? Let me guess, your mom got mad, and—” As soon as Kawanami entered the living room, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What the hell? It’s clean. What exactly am I supposed to clean?”

All the dishes, trash, and scattered clothes had been cleaned up by me. I hadn’t taken care of them earlier because I didn’t feel like it, but it wasn’t hard to do it with the right mindset. But regardless, I didn’t want him to help clean up a room.

“I want you to help with this.” I brought out a microphone shaped like a stethoscope, headphones, and the boxlike machine that they were connected to. “Could you throw this out?”

I said it so naturally that Kawanami silently shifted his gaze to the microphone.

“Sure. Of course I don’t mind you getting rid of this, but...are you sure?”

“Of course. I can’t listen to Yume-chan’s voice with this.”

“Wait, you know what? You should throw it out. I don’t know how to dispose of it properly.”

“I’m kind of a hoarder. If you make me deal with it, I might come up with an excuse to keep it.” Both the things I needed to throw out and the things I should have thrown out were still in my possession. “I’ll look it up for you, so...please?”

All I could do now was be honest and ask for his help. I stared at him for a little bit before he exhaled and scratched his head. “Fine, but on one condition.”

“Huh?”

“You’re taking care of dinner tonight. I’m getting sick of eating at family restaurants.” Kawanami picked up the wall-contact microphone.

As I looked up at his face, I let out a mocking laugh. “And you said I was lonely.”

“Huh?” Kawanami turned around. “Huh?!” It took him a little too long to realize. “You were liste—”

Then he dropped the microphone on the ground. I turned my back to him. With all that annoying stuff out of the way, it’s time to call Yume-chan!

“Heya! Yume-chan? You done with your homework?”

“Hey, listen to me! Did you hear our conversation?!”

Give it a rest. Seeing you get red like that does nothing for me anymore.