Chapter 80
Translator: CasBrin
I don’t understand what he just said .
His words echoed in my head, yet I still didn’t understand .
“In two years time Michelie will enrol at the Royal Academy . Then four years after graduating from the Academy, I will send Michelie to a monastery . This has already been decided . If you get it, then you can leave . ”
After only saying that I was told to leave .
With a snap somewhere in my head I lose it .
I tried to pull myself together, gasping for air .
But I couldn’t catch my breath, it felt like I was suffocating .
The rage forming in my body rushed out of my mouth . Later on I would come to know that I had verbally abused Father between gasping for air .
Honestly, I don’t remember what I said .
All I remember was that Father’s face didn’t even flinch as I threw my worse words at him .
“Have you calmed down yet Christina . ”
“…tch!”
I manage to hold back my immediate response .
I forced my already half open mouth shut, biting off the words at the last minute .
Father surely knew that I would respond like this . That’s why he waited until I had nearly left for the Academy before he told me . He chose the short amount of time I had left with Michelie to tell me so that I couldn’t plan anything .
I exhale a little, before breathing in heavily . And then I slowly let it out .
I was calmer . I couldn’t solve this by being angry .
That’s it . I can’t resolve this by getting upset . I need to clarify the facts and then think of a way to solve this . That’s how I can proceed constructively from here . I ought to know that by now . I learnt from Mariwa that rather than being pulled around by my emotions, I needed to wield them myself .
To be conscious of my anger, to identify and manage the source of that anger . By doing that you can return to your usual calm .
Of course the anger is still there .
“Why . Michelie being sent to a monastery, why did this happen? Tell me why, Father . ”
Suppressing the anger stirring in the pit of my stomach I asked Father .
One of the route of the original Christina is to be sent to a monastery as a political prisoner . In this country, the death sentence can be reduced to a life of harsh imprisonment .
There are many reasons why someone might be sent to a monastery, punishment is only one of them . It’s not that unusual for the children of nobles to enter monasteries, in order to stop a family’s inheritance been split up . Thus second and third sons, as well as spinster daughters will often be sent there, basically, it’s a support home for noble children who don’t work or marry .
To live in the monastery they vow a life of virtue, poverty, obedience, and to dedicate their lives to the monastery .
Abandoning family and possessions, they live according to the rules of the order .
If Father says she will be sent there, then it will be with a suitable donation to the order . Alternatively, she could be sent to a private monastery of the Noir family . With that in mind, Michelie won’t be treated like the original Christina was .
Becoming a nun is a respected life usually . It’s a life that will never suit me, but it’s not an unfortunate life . It’s a virtuous aspiration, and many people hope to enter a monastery .
However, I cannot forgive Father for arbitrarily closing off Michelie’s future .
“There’s nothing to talk about… as if you would understand with just that . This is because of Michelie’s birth . . ”
“Her birth? Then it must be because her mother was the little sister of the king . ”
Father grimaced at my frank words .
“… . So you knew . ”
He said it bitterly, since this was information I wasn’t supposed to know, but I was defiant .
“So what if I knew?”
Even if Father thought I was suspicious, it didn’t matter . Though he glared at me, he didn’t seem flustered .
“Christina . We are not royalty . ”
“… . What?”
Of course I know that .
Nobility and royalty, though they were similar, they were completely different . Though the Noir family is a principle family of the aristocracy, it didn’t hold a candle to the responsibilities of royalty .
“That’s why I took Michelie in . It wasn’t good to keep her imprisoned as royalty . I wanted to keep an eye on the child of Her HIghness Evilia . By keeping her close I could monitor the child . With just that person’s child, her Highness Evilia will have a big impact of our world . ”
“It doesn’t matter who her parents are . ”
“Of course, you don’t know . ”
It’s the opposite of what he said before, but it’s basically the same . I don’t know anything about the King’s little sister, so Father’s evaluation of that person should have nothing to do with it . To me the only important thing is Michelie, just here and now we’re discussing her future .
But even now Father is stuck talking about the past .
“Her Highness Evilia . That person had everyone deceived . Of course no one would suspect her, no one would sense anything, until they were already under her spell . And then before we realised, everyone was her ally . None of us even knew a thing about her . No one thought to investigate . Who her friends were, what she was thinking as she acted… . we don’t even know who Michelie’s Father is .
Noble privilege and royal power are closely intertwined in a delicate balance always fought over . When Her Highness Evilia was there, that balance leaned heavily towards the royal family .
“She ensnared high society, and had tempted almost all the nobility to her side . It was only when she passed away that we realised just how frightening a situation we were in . If it had remained that way, it could have been the end of aristocratic society . She was that skilled . She was a person beloved by all and beloved by the gods . She was a person that terrifying . ”
“… . and?”
After listening to Father’s old tales, I asked the real problem with a low voice .
“Michelie inherited her skill . I feel bad for that child, but I cannot let her remain in the Noir family . Her graduation from school is the right time to end it . Even if I say she’s being sent to a monastery, it isn’t a bad life . I need you to understand that Christina .
“As if . Don’t assume a child is just like the parent . Michelie is Michelie . Quite the bull Father . Have you ever been looking at Michelie until now? Or have you just been looking at the shadow of the deceased parent . Why don’t you just look at Michelie!”
“No, It’s from looking that I know . ”
Father bluntly responded .
Saying you’ve already looked, as if such a silly thing could matter to a genius like me . I was prepared to immediately refute my Father .
“Looking at you, who is so under her spell, I know for sure . ”
All my words disappeared .
All the objections I had prepared, my burning anger too, it was all blown away from his words .
“More than anyone, even more than the Noir family, you put Michelie first, just looking at that I can see clearly . ”
“… . . a”
But, that’s .
Michelie is, she’s my younger sister .
That’s why, I .
“… . Say, Christina . ”
My thoughts are in pieces, I couldn’t put together a sentence, it was then that Father gently smiled at me .
“You know, even I value Michelie a lot . But I love you more than that . And… . as the head of the Noir family I put this country first, even before my own daughter . ”
That is undoubtedly the duty of a noble, and Father is indeed the embodiment of a high ranking aristocrat .
I tightly clench my fists . Hands in a fist, tighter and tighter, until my nails bit into my palm, I squeezed my hands .
In response to my Father’s beliefs, there was only a few words I could wring out in my pathetic state .
“Father, Have you ever thought about this… . . ?”
“I have thought about it . And this was the conclusion . ”
This is nobility .
My Father’s cold words somehow seemed lonely .
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