Monster no Goshujin-sama - Volume 13 - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Girl’s Lack of Courage ~Katou Mana’s POV~

Dawn broke on the morning after Iino’s sudden visit as I headed to breakfast with Rose.

“Did you not get enough sleep?” Rose asked as I stifled a yawn. “You seemed to have problems resting last night.”

“Just a little... I was going over whether we overlooked anything in the conditions we picked for going to the Empire, so I had trouble sleeping.”

We’d discussed it plenty as a group during the day. We had our conditions for the Holy Church ready. All that was left was to tell Iino and wait for the other party’s response.

“Ah.”

As Rose and I walked down the corridor, we bumped into Iino. She apparently wanted to get things moving first thing in the morning.

“Katou...” The moment she saw my face, her steps faltered. “M-Morning.”

“Good morning,” I replied, pretending not to notice how awkward she was being. “Did you come to hear our conditions?”

“Yes, that’s right. Are they maybe not quite ready yet? If so, I can come back later.”

“I think they’re ready. We talked it over yesterday.”

“Ah, okay.”

“If you drop by, Majima-senpai will tell you. He should be heading for breakfast after finishing his morning training. We’re also on the way there. Want to come with us?”

“Sounds good.”

Iino’s face looked a little stiff. I’d noticed this before, but it seemed she didn’t know how to deal with me. Well, I had in fact stabbed her in the leg before, so it made sense. I wasn’t the type to strike up idle conversation with someone like her either.

“Then let’s go,” I said.

“Ah, hang on a sec.”

I started walking immediately, but Iino called me to a stop. Finding this odd, I turned around.

“What is it?” I asked.

“U-Um, you know, there’s something I wanna ask you.”

“Me?”

Now that was unusual. Until now, Iino and I had barely spoken to each other. At most, we’d talked at that strategy meeting for defeating Takaya, and we’d bantered briefly before I stabbed her. What curious turn of events made her want to ask me something? I returned her look with a suspicious one of my own, and Iino got right to it.

“It’s about Majima.”

“What about Majima-senpai...?”

I unintentionally narrowed my eyes. My wariness came to the fore. She’d gone out of her way to ask me, whom she pretty much never got involved with, about Majima-senpai. She must’ve been fishing for something. From how things went yesterday, Iino was here at the church’s request, but she was acting like a third party to mediate between us. She didn’t give off the impression that the church was conspiring with the margrave and that she was in on it. That said, there was no guarantee that this wasn’t the case.

“What is it?” I asked.

For the time being, it was best to analyze her behavior, so I urged the conversation forward while studying her with the utmost care. Iino then averted her gaze for some reason. She was usually brisk and to the point, but she spoke falteringly, albeit rapidly.

“Um, yesterday, he had a little girl in his arms, right? I was just wondering how she was related to him.”

“What?”

Her question went so far beyond my expectations that I unintentionally raised my voice. Paying my reaction no mind, Iino continued.

“They looked really close. I mean, I don’t think it’s the case, but just maybe...”

“You think they’re romantically involved?”

“Y-Yeah!”

Iino braced herself, which clued me in on her feelings. She apparently had apprehensions...or not? What even was this?

“There’s no way they are, right?” I answered, sighing. I felt drained after having prepared myself so seriously. “I’m pretty sure you can guess since she wasn’t hiding her tail and wings, but Lobivia is Majima-senpai’s new servant. I’ll leave out the details, but she’s half human too. Senpai is like her guardian, so she’s really attached to him. That’s all.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes, it is.”

“I see... That’s fine, then,” Iino said, looking truly relieved.

On instinct, I looked at her with suspicion. “Why do you look a little happy?”

“I-I’m not,” Iino answered with a start. She was so easy to understand. “It’s true. If I look that way, it’s because... Right. I’m sure it’s because I know he hasn’t laid his hands on a little girl.”

She tried to gloss it over, but that didn’t seem to be what really bothered her. Deep in my chest, I felt a prickling sensation. It was a crude emotion I usually never harbored, and I didn’t let it show.

And as I got myself under control, Rose cocked her head next to me.

“It’s just as Mana says. Lobivia isn’t someone my master is romantically involved with now. That would be Gerbera and Shiran.”

She said it one hundred percent out of goodwill but without understanding things at all. Rose was so cute like that. Iino, on the other hand, was stiff as a log.

“Huh?”

Her mouth popped open, and a befuddled sound came out. Looking for confirmation, she turned my way.

“Huh?” she repeated.

“It’s true,” I answered, nodding. There was nothing to hide after all this time. “The same goes for Rose here too.”

“H-Hearing that from someone else’s mouth makes me feel self-conscious about it,” Rose said, casting her eyes down bashfully. She was super cute like this too, and perhaps this was the finishing blow.

“Rose too...” Iino muttered, staggering. Or so I thought, but she suddenly turned toward me at quite literally imperceptible speed. “D-Don’t tell me, you too?!”

“Iino, Iino. I’m going to get blown away just from the wind you cause when you turn around like that. It’s seriously scary for normal people, so please cut it out.”

“Are you?!”

“I’m not.”

“Ah... Is that so?” she said, clearly relieved. “I see. But Rose and the others too...”

Her gaze fell to the floor. I thought she’d get angry, claiming it was indecent, but she didn’t. Maybe it was best to say that she didn’t have the capacity to consider getting angry.

Iino started walking off unsteadily, half in a daze.

“Iino? Where are you going?” I asked.

“Sorry. I just remembered something I have to do. I’ll come back again later...”

She then left. She didn’t even seem to be thinking of us anymore.

“Mana, shouldn’t we stop her?” Rose asked.

“Just leave her be,” I answered, sighing.

It was pretty much a guarantee now. I’d been wondering whether it was the case for a while, but it seemed Iino was interested in Majima-senpai. Not that she’d admit it, though. Well, she wasn’t going to forget why she was here to begin with, and she wasn’t that irresponsible by nature. We could just tell her our conditions before the end of the day. It was best to wait for her to calm down for now.

“If you say so, Mana,” Rose said, a curious look still on her face. “Still, I wonder what happened to her. Was that conversation just now that shocking for a visitor?”

“No, that’s not it...” It was more of a shock to her personally than to visitors as a whole.

That was when I realized something.

“Now that you mention it,” I said, “Iino didn’t seem that put off by it, but other visitors might not think too highly of it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. When we go to the imperial capital, we’ll likely meet visitors from the exploration team. Even if we don’t spread the news that you’re all in love, having so many female companions can leave a bad impression. Remember what happened with Fukatsu before?”

“Aah, come to think of it...”

All the visitors of the exploration team were cheaters; they all had terrifying power. According to Iino, their leader had a favorable impression of Majima-senpai, but the rest were unaccounted for. It was probably best to get rid of any seeds that could sprout into trouble wherever possible.

“We should avoid trouble as much as we can. It might be best to adjust the male-to-female ratio of who goes along. I’ll consult Majima-senpai about it later.”

“Mana.”

“What is it?” I asked casually, pausing my thoughts of the future and turning to look at her. She was making a more serious expression than I expected.

“Did something happen between you and Iino?”

The sudden question brought my thoughts to a complete halt.

“Why do you think that?” I asked, staring at Rose’s face.

“Just now, when Iino questioned you about my master, for an instant, it looked like you knitted your brow.”

Rose had a good eye. I’d meant to keep it from showing, but she had still noticed. She was reading too much into it, but she looked a little worried, so I put on a slight smile for her.

“Nothing really happened with Iino. This is my own problem.”

“Your own problem?”

“I just have a, how to put it...a particular opinion of Iino.”

As I spoke, I felt my cheeks getting a little hot. Anyone would find it embarrassing to talk about their own inadequacies. That was all this was.

“I talked about her with Majima-senpai before. According to him, Iino has everything he’d given up on.”

This had happened after we rescued Lily from Takaya, just before parting ways with Iino, who’d helped out due to the flow of events.

“When I see someone who has everything I’ve had to give up on, I can’t possibly think nothing of it... That’s why I hate her... It’s also why I want her to keep going. I want her to see things through like that to the end. Somewhere inside me, I truly want that for her.”

“In a different sense from you and his other servants, I believe Iino is very special to Majima-senpai. That’s why...”

“You’re more aware of her?” Rose suggested.

“It’s a pretty childish and crude reason, though.”

Despite knowing this, I couldn’t do anything about it—even more so when it involved something so very important to me.

“Pretty embarrassing, huh?” I said.

I slapped my flushed cheeks a few times. Rose stared at me as if her eyes were trying to see through the core of my very being.

“My master considers her someone special, you say?” Rose asked, nodding in agreement before cocking her head again. “So is this because you’re in love with my master?”

My breath caught in my throat. Rose was looking at me with a deadly serious expression. It reminded me of that conversation we’d had some time ago on the cliff overlooking Fort Tilia. Her earnestness now was the same as back then, yet Rose had grown so much since.

“Rose...”

“You’re in love with him, right?”

She said it with conviction. This was a surprising amount of progress from those days when she’d said that she had no understanding of the human heart. As someone who’d been watching her growth all this time, this was somehow deeply moving. I even felt as if she’d overtaken me in a sense. I suppose because it was Rose, this actually felt refreshing.

“Yes,” I said, nodding back to her with mysteriously little resistance. “You’re right, Rose. Majima-senpai is—” That said, it was too embarrassing to say it myself. “Well, that’s how it is.”

“Unlike how I was before, you’re aware of it, yes? Then why haven’t you told him?”

“Gerbera said something similar to me before.”

To be precise, she’d asked me why “I hadn’t pounced on him yet.” That was an outrageous question, but her wording cut straight to the core of the matter. Gerbera was like that every once in a while.

In truth, Majima-senpai acted in a way so that I wouldn’t be scared of him as a man. He did so because I still suffered from androphobia. I knew that. Even so, I couldn’t make a move. I was too scared to.

“Rose. It’s not that I haven’t told him. I can’t tell him.”

“Why not?”

“Some time ago, I gave up on anything and everything, but you told me that I couldn’t give up. I changed a little, and thanks to that, I didn’t have to part ways with Majima-senpai. Now, he’s granted me his trust as one of his companions.”

I put a hand to my chest. Sensing a certain warmth within, I continued speaking.

“I think I’m happy now, but that just makes breaking this happiness all the more frightening.”

I had given up on absolutely everything, so what I’d gained was just that much more precious to me. If I confessed, it was possible that I would shatter what I’d finally achieved.

“If that’s going to happen, I figure it’s better I ignore this emotion.”

“I understand your wanting to keep what you gained,” Rose said. “I understand your treating it dearly. I also know very well how you cherish a small piece of happiness more than any other.”

Yet she still followed up with a question.

“However, are you really fine with that, Mana?”

If only I was able to answer, “Even so, I’m fine with it,” life would be so much simpler. I couldn’t say it, though. When I thought of how my feelings would remain unconveyed for all eternity, my heart hurt so much. It made me helplessly sad, and that was so hard to endure. The pain was my answer to Rose’s question. Had that not been the case, I wouldn’t have had those feelings about Iino in the first place.

“You’re right... I can’t say I’m fine with it,” I said, sighing heavily. “I can’t stand being unable to convey my feelings, yet I don’t have the courage to tell him either.”

Uncertain and foolish—that was who I was at my core. It was pathetic.

“I’m weak,” I said with a self-deprecating smile.

“Please don’t make that face, Mana,” Rose said, taking my hand.

“Rose...”

She cradled my hand in hers. The sensation felt so gentle.

“Mana, I don’t know what the best course of action is,” she said, staring right into my eyes. “I can’t tell you what you should do, but please at least remember this.” She put on a smile that nobody would ever believe came from a puppet. “I’m your ally, Mana. If there is anything I can do to help, I’ll do it. Your happiness is a blessing to me.”

I recalled the words she’d said to me before.

“Please live. Please be happy. There’s no way my story can have a happy ending if you don’t get one as well, now is there?”

“Please let me pray for my friend’s fortune. Please show me your own happiness. I don’t want a happy ending where you’re not there with me, Mana.”

Rose had told me that my happiness was a necessity for her own happiness. That was how I’d decided to keep going. Now, she was doing it again.

“It’ll be all right. My beloved Mana is the type to keep pushing forward even when she’s frightened.”

She was overestimating me. I wasn’t strong. But if Rose believed in me, I felt as if I could be just a little stronger.

“You’re right...” Before I knew it, I was nodding. “I think I’ll try just a little harder.”