Monster no Goshujin-sama - Volume 12 - Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Puppet’s Love ~Rose’s POV~

After a moment of silence, Berta let out a deep sigh.

“Let’s hear it,” she said.

She looked as if she had an inkling about what I was going to say. This made me feel even guiltier, but I couldn’t stop now.

“Berta, I’d like you to leave right away and go back to the others. With both of us gone, their defenses are significantly weaker. It’ll be bad if they’re attacked.”

“So you’re planning on staying even though you know the elves are at risk. That wasn’t what you suggested, though. I believe I stayed back here with you so that you could finish your work until the last minute and withdraw.”

“There’s no need for that. Don’t mind me and go after the others. With your sharp sense of smell, you should be able to keep some distance from them so that they don’t notice you’ve returned. Please do so and jump in to help if the enemy attacks them.”

“You’re telling me to hide from your companions? So it’s just as I thought.” All four of the wolf’s eyes filled with pity. “Do you plan on staying behind on your own to stall the enemy?”

“Yes.” I nodded. This was my true plan, one I’d kept from all the others. “I must apologize for tricking you.”

“So was that talk of traps just nonsense?”

“Yes. I don’t have anything so convenient. Regardless, the situation has already gotten to the point where someone has to stall their advance.”

At this rate, the enemy would overtake us. Their objective was our master’s life, and they would show no mercy if they caught up. That was the one thing I could never allow. Someone had to do something.

“I understand that,” Berta said, “but why do you need to stay behind?”

“I’m the most suitable for the task,” I answered immediately. I’d come to this decision after giving it plenty of thought already. “Lily obviously has to stay by our master’s side to heal him. As his strongest servant, Gerbera can’t leave his side either. In contrast, Ayame isn’t strong enough to stall the army. Shiran, Salvia, and Asarina can’t move because of their dependence on our master. Lobivia is not only injured, but emotionally wounded, so I doubt she’ll be able to put up a fight.”

My explanation came out smoothly. I’d thought this all out.

“This is my duty,” I continued. “My body is my master’s shield. From the very day I met him in the Woodlands, I’ve existed to defend him from any and all calamities. I don’t care if I’m reduced to wood chips in the process. In short, the time has simply come.”

I didn’t hesitate whatsoever to make such a declaration.

“Besides, this choice minimizes our losses,” I added. “Lily is a unique monster who has exhibited remarkable growth. Gerbera is the legendary Great White Spider, and Salvia is spoken of in folklore. They’re both high monsters with great power. Lobivia is the daughter of a savior. Ayame, who became a servant at such a young age, and Asarina, who was born with her roots inside our master, both have unfathomable potential.”

If any of them were to perish, the impact of the loss would be off the charts. They had roles to fulfill in the future—unlike me.

“I, on the other hand, am nothing more than a rare monster,” I said. “I’m different from the others.”

Puppets like me were scarce, but not unique. I wasn’t a higher being or anything special. If my master were to return to the Woodlands and spend enough time and effort, he could find another monster like me out there.

“Above all else, my master has gotten strong,” I said. “In the not too distant future, I’m sure he’ll overtake me. He’ll no longer need me as his shield. If this is to be my last job, then maybe it has come at just the right time.”

“I don’t believe your companions think the same way, though,” Berta noted.

“Yes, I know. That’s why this is ultimately my problem.”

I’d conveyed as much to my master back during our time in the Woodlands.

“I exist to protect you. I don’t care if my body is reduced to wood chips as long as I can accomplish that.”

This was the reason for my birth, so I was only doing what was natural to me. Besides, in the end, I’d gotten an unexpected reward. Thinking back on it, I felt myself breaking into a smile.

Yes. I’d finally gotten a hug from my master.

I knew it was imprudent to think of such things right now given the situation, but my heart didn’t lie. I was happy. I was blessed.

In all likelihood, that moment inside the narrow confines of the manamobile was the end goal of my existence. That was what I believed. Thus, I’d made my decision.

“Please go, Berta.”

I would meet the enemy right here. If I could deal a major blow to them, it would slow them down. If I bet everything I had in a do-or-die attack, maybe I could even buy an extra day for the others to rally.

One reason I’d asked Berta to stay with me was because I needed an excuse to remain behind. The bigger reason, though, was because she wasn’t my master’s servant. It would’ve taken a tremendous amount of effort to convince my sisters of this plan, but Berta was different. She had no reason to stop me. Or at least, that was what I thought, but what happened next was unforeseeable.

“Is this really okay?” Berta asked.

“Huh?”

“Are you really convinced this is the right choice?” She took one step toward me, the tentacles at her waist swaying about. “Do you have no regrets?”

Each of her words was tinged with violent emotions. Apparently, our conversation had touched a nerve. It was as if she was angry and irritated, as if she wasn’t going to let me do this. The strength of her emotions pressed me for an honest answer.

“Berta...”

I hesitated for just a moment. I would sacrifice my life to protect my master. That idea was natural to me, so I’d never given it a second thought. It wasn’t as if my answer would change if I did think about it. I was my master’s shield, so it was fine.

That was my answer, but no words came out. This was unexpected. My body was that of a puppet. I could move it even if it was cracked, but now something bound it. Something from the outside took root inside me and threatened my heart. I needed several seconds to realize that this was the emotion called fear. I didn’t believe it, but that didn’t change reality.

I was scared, and now that I was aware of it, my limbs trembled. I was going to be destroyed. I was going to shatter as my master’s shield, just as I’d once resolved myself to do. I was scared of that outcome—unbearably terrified of it.

Why now? I’d thought that being reduced to wood chips didn’t matter. Had that determination been a lie? How could I turn timid just at the end?

No, that wasn’t quite right. That wasn’t right at all. My fear signified something else.

I recalled Berta’s questions.

Was this really okay? Was I really convinced this was the right choice? Did I have no regrets?

Obviously, I thought this was okay. I was convinced it was right too, but yes, she did have a point.

Regrets? My heart was filled with them. I still hadn’t accomplished what I desired to do. That was what my heart insisted. In a sense, that was obvious. I’d once talked with Gerbera about it.

“You’ve been adorning your body so that our lord will hug you, correct?”

“Even now, do you not think about what comes after that?”

In response, I’d answered, “No, I do. It’s true. Somewhere inside me, I want what comes next. I realized that desire was always there.”

I had become aware of my desire for “what comes next” at that time, but I still didn’t know what exactly that was. I’d figured I would find out after getting that hug, and that part of my wish had already been granted, so progressing to “what comes next” was the natural course of events.

“Then, Rose, do you want to embrace our lord, kiss him, let him touch you, and make love?”

I’d frozen at Gerbera’s question back then. It had just seemed so outrageous. But now I understood. I’d realized it at the eleventh hour.

She was right. That was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted to embrace my master.

I wanted to kiss him.

I wanted him to touch me.

I wanted to make love to him.

I’d probably been in love with him for a long time now but simply hadn’t noticed because of how dense I was. All this time, I’d been head over heels.

“Yes... You’re right. I don’t want to die yet,” I said, my feelings rushing out my mouth. “It’s a little late for me to notice. I’ve been in love with my master... But at this rate, those feelings will come to a fruitless end before I can tell him. I don’t want that.”

I was finally aware of my own feelings, and I wanted to convey them to him. I strongly, strongly wished to do so. I didn’t want things to end before they even got a chance to start. For the first time in my life as a mere puppet, I wished for this from the bottom of my heart. However, that was exactly why...

“You’ll go regardless?” Berta asked.

“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “I’m in love, so I don’t want things to end here, but I also want to protect my beloved in equal measure.”

The heart and the emotions within us were such complicated things. In the end, my resolve had only hardened, and I no longer wavered.

“Goodbye, Master.”

I thought of my beloved, who was getting farther and farther away, and quietly put my hand to my chest. The sensation of the pendant that sat there was so very precious, and it granted me the bravery to stand against despair.

“I yearn for you, even if this body must break.”

This wasn’t a simple matter of loyalty. I headed to certain death for the sake of my own love.

“Please stay safe.”

That was all I wished for.