Monogatari Series - Volume 30 - Chapter 1.03

003

“Killing Stone?”

“Yes, Killing Stone.”

This was what Kouga Tsuzura, chief of the Naoetsu Hearsay Police Department, said to me when I visited my old workplace to express my gratitude for not only attending my wedding reception, but also for delivering a speech (she had praised someone like me to the skies. Even knowing that it was customary, it still made me happy—Not all old customs are bad practices), and to consult on my future prospects. I had casually mentioned the destination of my honeymoon, and this was her reaction.

“It’s in Tochigi Prefecture. The Killing Stone.”

“That’s a rather ominous, if not terrifying, name for a stone.”

Personally, hearing about a mysterious stone also put me on alert. No, it’s just that during the Spring Break hell and Golden Week nightmare, there was a mini-episode involving a stone.

It was called Koyomi Stone.

“Yeah, pretty scary. It’s said that everything which came near it was falling dead left and right.”

“This isn’t the type of ghost story I often hear in the FBI… I mean, it sounds very Japanese. But what does it have to do with anything?”

“Please go to the stone, Assistant Inspector Araragi.”

“Hey…”

“Ah, or should I call you Federal Agent Araragi now?”

“Assistant Inspector is fine when I’m in Japan. No, that’s not the point, Chief Kouga. I was talking about going on a honeymoon trip. To Tochigi Prefecture.”

“You can get me Utsunomiya ham cutlet as a souvenir.”

“Not gyoza?”

“I’ve tasted food from all around the world with Gaen-senpai, but in the end, I found the Utsunomiya ham cutlet is the best among the whole world’s menus.”

“Really? I agree that Japanese food is delicious, and I’ve become more patriotic since returning, but a ham cutlet? Won’t it get cold?”

“My feelings for Utsunomiya ham cutlets will never cool down. Just bring me the ham, I’ll fry it at home.”

So Chief Kouga cooks for herself. Incidentally, I had heard that Tochigi ham was a local specialty, but I didn’t know anything about it in high school.

“Are you sure you don’t want a stone?”

“I’m not a crocodile. I don’t eat stones. And don’t worry, the tales of the Killing Stone taking lives are just old legends. It goes like this, eight hundred years ago, a stone transformed by a nine-tailed fox named Tamamo-no-Mae emitted a poisonous gas that killed all life around it. It was actually the sulfur in the air that did it.“

“Sulfur? It’s a hot spring area? I thought it was a marshland.”

It was six years ago when I discovered this place. Perhaps within those six ensuing years, hot springs had sprung forth from the marshland?

“Not quite. Tochigi Prefecture is a big place. The Oku-Nikko region where you and your wife are going is far away, on the Nasu Highlands.”

“I’ve heard of the highlands. Famous for their eggplants, right?”

“I wouldn’t say that’s incorrect, but there’s more to it than that.”

“So, are there hot springs?”

“Not just hot springs, but a hot spring shrine as well.”

First time hearing of that.

The opinion of a boss is always important, just as the eggplant flower is never a waste of time.7

Though the weary North Shirahebi Shrine was a pretty odd sort, numerous kinds of shrines could be found throughout Japan.

“It’s the parental affection of a superior who wishes for you and your mate8 to bathe not in negative ions but in the positive smell of sulfur.”

“Wasn’t sulfur, besides being dangerous, known to have an extremely pungent smell? And even if we were to acknowledge that rumor, the only reason for living things falling left and right was non-supernatural. And why are you calling her my mate instead of wife?“

”When you went overseas to attend training, police compliance training became more stringent. Saying ‘your madam’ could result in dismissal, even the power of Gaen-senpai could not save me.”

“Uh, just ‘wife’?”

“’Wife’ is allowed for now, but ‘consort’ is out.”

“‘Consort’ should be out regardless of the era. I’m not one to talk since I was called piglet.”9

“Oh, did the Araragi couple really call you that?”

“You can never know what really goes on in a household. Even a seemingly perfect couple can be abusing their child. But for now, it’s fine to call her my wife, but taking her to a place that reeks of sulfur sounds a bit…”

“The hot spring trip is a classic. Even Sakamoto Ryoma must have gone on one.”

Sakamoto Ryoma? Oh, was he the great man who first went on a honeymoon in Japan? Although as a police officer, I can’t help but think of him in a different light, given that he carried a revolver. I’m not familiar with the details, did he visit Katsurahama?

“No, Sakamoto Ryoma and Katsurahama don’t seem to have anything to do with each other.”

“No? There’s an imposing stone statue there.”

“That’s not a statue, it’s a bronze figure.“

And we were talking about a stone, not a statue.

The Killing Stone.

The name really was ominous, but fear makes the wolf bigger than he is—it remains dangerous, but the rumor has been explained away. And it would be out of our jurisdiction regardless.

“The jurisdiction of the Hearsay Department encompasses the entire Earth. The fact that we sent you on overseas training is part of that, the wind blows from anywhere and the air is all connected.”

Which is why strange smells waft through the air as well, Chief Kouga said—it made sense.

There was no such thing as jurisdiction in the world of aberrations.

Crossing fields and mountains, even borders and oceans, a vampire had come to this town.

And no matter how much we called it a journey to trace our roots, visiting only Senjougahara for a honeymoon was one bullet tour—we could make a day trip if we wanted to.

”Not that I intended to challenge the newlywed journey’s RTA.”

“I was thinking of visiting various famous spots in Tochigi since I was here, putting aside the Killing Stone for now. I heard about Nasu Highlands from a rumor. It’d be a good course, I think.”

“Right, right. I recommend it. Thanks to the positive and negative effects of the Corona crisis, glamping has become firmly established.”

“Glamping—you mean that glamorous camping-like thing?”

“Yeah. Barbecue and stuff.”

Could I, who had such a high school life, be so entertained with barbecue on my honeymoon? I would like to tell this to myself from eighteen years ago.

Was it six years ago?

Well, maybe me from six May’s ago might have despised adult me for lowering myself to the point of barbecuing at camp.

He may risk the time paradox by decisively taking action.

“There are plenty of great camping sites in Nasu Highlands, Assistant Inspector Araragi.”

“Should I go take a look at the Killing Stone while I'm enjoying glamping? Just to confirm the resolved rumor—I mean, for future reference?”

“Even in an area with so many ranches, it's not all that idyllic. I do want you, who has a promising future, to gain more and more career experience. Although it was none other than me who was trained by Gaen-san in that way, knowing the field is surprisingly important... By the way, that Killing Stone, it just cracked open.”

“Cracked open?”

Like, with a ker-thwack?

A sound effect out of the tale of Momotaro?

“W-When? Why did it happen?”

“As for when, it was last year.”

So really recent. Furthermore, considering its origin as the Nine-Tailed Fox, said to have occurred eight hundred years ago, it becomes even more astounding. Eight hundred years ago. When you think about it, it was older than Shinobu.

“As for why, it’s attributed to weathering. The stone itself became fragile and susceptible to damage from the sulfur emitted in its surroundings, and it cracked under its own weight. That’s essentially the prevailing theory.”

However, this rumor is different, Chief Kouga said, rectifying her posture.

“Naturally, it may seem the nine-tailed fox has come back to life.”

“……”

“It’s our role to nimbly crush such rumors before they materialize in distorted forms. Unfortunately, Tochigi Prefecture Police still hasn’t set up a Hearsay Department. We were planning a business trip though, and when you returned home temporarily for your wedding and mentioned that you would visit the area on your honeymoon, it was truly an act of divine providence.”

“That feels like an Okinawan greeting.”

Speaking as an overseas trainee, attaching work to a honeymoon would make one think that 'the Japanese workstyle' needs to be reformed, or rather, that a change in mindset is absolutely necessary. But I have sworn to God that I would never denigrate my country from an American, European, or FBI point of view.10 I might as well swear to the god of Mount Nantai. If he’s a god of snakes, he probably dislikes me.

“There’s also a Snake Stone near the Killing Stone, called the Blind Snake Stone. The origin of this is completely different from the Killing Stone, but—well, let’s not spoil it. See it for yourself. When you go and see it, it won’t even be that significant of a Killing Stone.”

“I understand. So, what you want is for me, who is considered the hope of the Hearsay Department, to go and see that broken stone and judge that ‘nothing happened.’”

Maybe it could be called fact, or maybe the fait accompli. A de facto marriage, though completely different.

One could call it a proven record, in this particular case.

“That’s the job of the Hearsay Department, isn’t it?”

“Not just limited to the Hearsay Department, most police work is like that. A report that says ‘nothing happened’ is the most important and the most peaceful.”

Indeed, no truer words have been spoken. It’s better if incidents don’t happen at all. That was keenly felt in America, the home of urban legends. Rumors were better if they don’t flow. There was nothing better than a state of no wind. However.

“Chief Kouga, can I ask you a question…?”

“What is it? We’re close, aren't we? Feel free to ask me anything, Assistant Inspector Araragi.”

“Suppose, just suppose…”

“Let's just say that as a proud bachelorette, I'm not in a position to give you that kind of advice.”

“It’s not about home life, no. Imagine if, during my honeymoon or glamping trip, I were to visit the Killing Stone… and seek the specialist opinion.”

In this case, the word “specialist” refers to the remnant of the vampire who had taken up residence in my very own shadow. Although one might argue that I, as a professional, should rely on my own judgment, it had actually been quite some time since I last exercised my vampiric abilities. My reckless high school years have, by now, receded into the distant past; or at least, they were farther away than Tochigi Prefecture.

“If nothing happens, that would be best. But what if something does happen, and it’s already too late?”

“Wait, whatever do you mean?”

“Now you’re playing dumb, Chief Kouga. Placing an interjection at the beginning of a quote makes it seem like you genuinely don’t know what I’m talking about. I am asking how we should handle the situation if Tamamo-no-Mae, the nine-tailed fox, who has lived longer than any vampire, were to really revive.”

Although my knowledge of Tamamo-no-Mae was hazy and foggy at best, wasn’t she the demon who supposedly came to Japan just to bring about its destruction? I wasn’t aware that she had once disguised herself as the Killing Stone.

If that stone were to crack, ah, I wouldn’t be surprised if something burst forth from it, based on my experience.

“Then, Assistant Police Inspector Araragi, or perhaps Federal Agent Araragi,” remarked Chief Kouga with a decisive tone. In the tone of a superior officer, she continued, “In accordance with the loyalty you have sworn to your country, you shall fulfill your mission.”

“But ma’am, I’m not a soldier, neither in Japan nor in America.”

A grown adult at the age of twenty-four, engaging in battles? What a ruthless way of life.