Monogatari Series - Volume 25 - Chapter 3.04

004 

The not-so-amicable expression “burned down” was comprehensible, but to be more accurate, it seems another magical girl would come and carpet-bomb the whole area—it makes me want to ask if such a violent group of magical girls was a problem or not. 

“Oh please, Koyomi-san. There’s no way that those of us who fight to protect humanity are bad people, is there?” I don’t agree at all. 

“By the way, that magical girl would probably be of a much higher rank than myself, an insanely powerful magical girl who could not only burn down the building but the entire town. No hard feelings, 

OK?” 

There’s no way I wouldn’t have some. 

What hell of a plan was our town involved in? 

You know, I no longer care who involves me in what, but leave the school and the town out of it. 

“Now, now. If the worst-case scenario comes to pass, I’ll let you give me a peck on the cheek before we die, so let me off the hook with that. Ufun!” 

“It’s not something that can be forgiven just like that, you know.” 

“Oh my, are you wishing for more? Are you going to ask me to show you my panties? But, if we do that, Koyomi-san might purposely aim for a time-up. Kyaah, pervert!” 

“I already saw them when you were flying earlier. Also, if the school burns down, I’ll act as a representative of the town and punch you in the cheek.” 

Setting aside that unforgivably violent declaration towards a frail girl, at this rate, the situation might be more severe than the previous times I came here. My knees might give in if so many people’s lives rest on my shoulders. 

Randomly filling in 4 numbers must absolutely not be done. 

“Chinou-chan. Let me ask you once more what I tried to check earlier, before you changed the subject. That magic of burning down, can’t you use it? Like using it to melt the windows…” 

“Are you telling me to cheat? How shameful. Truly shows your nature.” 

Please respect the rules, I was rebuked. 

By someone like that. 

“Well, if Koyomi-san wants to know that much, I shall impart my intelligence.”  

“What did you just say?” 

“I can do most things, but the only intrinsic magic I have is Un-Dead. Also flying. Come on, I gave you the answer you wanted, so where’s your ‘thank you’?” 

“Do you request thanks for every little interaction of this level?” That’s too opportunistic. 

She said she used thanks as life fuel, but how starved was she? 

At this point, questioning Chinou-chan in itself became unpleasant, but after reluctantly probing further, it seems that the magic power resided in the special costume rather than in her body. There’s a certain magic bound to each combination of costume and stick. It didn’t seem to me that she was hiding other abilities she could have used. 

“The intrinsic magic Un-Dead, huh… It’s certainly convenient continuing after getting the wrong input, but it doesn’t seem to be of any use to play the escape game itself.” 

“Exactly. Ehehn.” 

For some reason, Chinou-chan talked arrogantly. 

“My best friend, the magical girl Pumpkin, once said: We are magical girls and not magicians; we mustn’t abuse our magic, and we mustn’t be controlled by our magic.” 

“…” 

She says some good things. 

If I was going to get trapped either way, I’d have preferred being with that girl… Her being this girl’s best friend is worrisome, but that’s probably a lie so there’s no problem. 

“‘This magic is convenient to use’ or ‘This magic is inconvenient to use’, I call those luxurious worries. On the same level of luxury as having a hand so good in President that you refuse to exchange the two cards with the person in last.” 

“That comparison was so easy to understand that I feel like we lost the original point, though…” 

But well, I guess she’s right. 

In reality, as someone who was revived by the Multi-Stick Living Dead, I’m not in any place to complain. 

“That’s why, Koyomi-san. We should start by investigating this classroom instead of being lazy. Now, get on it, godspeed! Really, you’re always trying to take it easy.” 

“Try being more skillful at motivating people to work.” 

If I continued interacting with that girl any longer, I might’ve started aiming for the time-up just to be able to use violence against her, so I got on with the task right away. 

Escape game. 

Even if I was aware of them, I’d never done any and am bad at tasks necessitating the use of my head… However, since we were in a classroom, there shouldn’t be many spots where hints could be hidden. They are limited. 

“Then, Koyomi-san, please start investigating the students’ desks, in order, from the front. I’ll start by searching the vicinity of the teacher’s desk.” 

“Got it.” 

Thus, the investigation started. 

It wasn’t clear when exactly the time-up was, but to be honest, I considered the possibility that the magical girl would start bombing us as soon as possible, just to get rid of this bothersome girl, so I tried acting as fast as possible. 

Perhaps this mission in itself was made up in order to eradicate the magical girl Giant Impact. I really get it, but please execute this kind of plan at home. 

But, luckily, I immediately found something which might serve as a hint. Inside the first desk I investigated. 

Removing the textbooks inside the desk, leaning in and peeking inside, on the backside of the board, there was a hiragana character written with a bold brush between two brackets. 

. 

    “…     ?” 

“What? Did something happen to the lowly commoner that is you, 

Koyomi-san?” 

“You could have just said ‘Did something happen?’ normally.” Her sense of superiority against commoners is impressive. 

Is humanity really under the care of someone like that? 

“There’s something written inside this desk… with a brush maybe? I can’t be sure, but it might be the same as the handwriting on the blackboard.” 

I wasn’t especially skilled in handwriting analysis, but my vampire sight was able to catch a flying magical girl, so I could at least check the resemblance of the brackets. 

“I see, a memo inside the desk, is it? Deeply interesting. Then, Koyomi-san, please search for any other similar memos inside the other desks. I will continue to investigate the vicinity of the teacher’s desk.” 

“Got it. Mm… No, there’s nothing inside this one. Maybe that was the only desk with a memo?” 

But frankly, just   doesn’t do much as a hint. If it was a kanji character, there might be something implied that came to mind, but that wasn’t the case for a hiragana character. 

“Ummm. Let’s see. Following my inspiration,   would evoke  , though.” 

“Don’t follow your inspiration. Revolt against it with all your might.” 

“But Koyomi-san, it’s hasty to arrive at a conclusion after only two desks. How about searching other desks? I’ll continue like that and investigate the vicinity of the teacher’s desk.” 

“Got it. Umm, as I thought, nothing either in this one… huh? 

There’s something written in the fourth one. This is     … no, 

?”5 

“So there was something. It seems there are desks with and without a memo. Then we better check all of the boards.” 

“Yeah. It’ll take some time, but looks like we need to.” 

“Koyomi-san, in that case, please check all the desks. I will continue and investigate the vicinity of the teacher’s desk.” 

4    If you somehow don’t know, this is the word for “boobs” (おっぱい, oppai). 

5    The hiragana characters め (me) and ぬ (nu) are very similar. 

“How long are you going to search that desk’s vicinity?” 

How could she not have finished one desk when I checked through four of them? 

Was the structure of the teacher’s desk that complex? 

“It can’t be helped now that you’ve realized it. Earlier, when you died, I noticed some desks did and didn’t have notes, but going through all of them by myself seemed like a hassle, so I made you come back.” 

“So you were considering letting me die!?” 

To think I was brought back as a labor force… You said ‘without any personal gain in mind’, but Chinou-chan, you were completely set on gaining something through that, weren’t you? 

I was told the same thing by a vampire during spring break. 

Then, is this girl really human? 

Seamlessly feigning investigating the teacher’s desk while letting me do all the others… If only the people around me awkwardly learning what living was could take from that debonair attitude—but, setting that aside. 

“Participate.” 

“… Ah, were you perhaps talking to me?” 

“Don’t pretend you’re not used to receiving orders. We’re the only ones in this classroom, aren’t we?” 

“Oh please, don’t emphasize the fact we’re alone. You’re talking to a young teenage girl, you know? You lolicon ♪.” 

“I don’t know about Shikoku, but in this city, being in love with a young teenage girl doesn’t make you a lolicon.” 

“What a scary city…” 

Chinou-chan was creeped out. 

This taught me the hardships of intercultural communication. 

Anyhow, I gained Chinou-chan’s cooperation after that and we checked the remaining desks. The result: we found 15 hiragana inscribed. 

And below is how they were concretely set out.