Monogatari Series - Volume 25 - Chapter 12.02

002 

“What even is ‘normal’? Average? Is ‘unusually normal’ ‘normal’? Or isn’t it rather ‘unusual’? If you go read outstanding people’s biographies, you’ll find out they’re actually quite the laymen, but isn’t that more ‘abnormal’ than ‘normal’? If there’s a majority of weird people, will they become ‘normal’? Are we talking numbers?” The girl nitpicking at me was Atemiya. 

When I saw her come to the mixer in a flashy, pink jersey, I wondered whether she was actually a former delinquent... My high school didn’t have any delinquents (at best you had Hanekawa calling me one when I was an academic failure), so her lethargic attitude was most fresh to me. 

It made my heart pound—in many ways. 

“I don’t think numbers are really the deciding factor here. Earth is a very ‘special’ planet, with its water and living creatures, but to us, 

its inhabitants, that’s natural—the ‘norm’, right?” 

The one who calmly pacified Atemiya was Emoto. 

She had her hair tied up on both sides and was wearing a dress with a strawberry pattern. The contrast with Atemiya made her look like a polite middle schooler—however, as you can notice from how clearly she could express her opinion, she wasn’t simply a docile girl. 

“Ahaha! Right, yeah, ‘normal’ can only exist because of ‘special’ things, that’s so true! Also, if being ‘special’ was ‘normal,’ I might hate being that kind of ‘normal’! It’s like, ‘An immortal vampire, except with suicidal tendencies’!” 

And the one who stirred up the debate with a strange simile that might or might not fit was Aoii. 

Among all the girls I’ve met in my life, she was by far the most coquettish. The type of people I had never crossed paths with, two lines fated to never meet. She wore hot pants that revealed almost up to the crotch with pockets sticking out from behind it, and a thin camisole; it was as though she had taken on a challenge to show as much skin as possible. Even her bright bob haircut she had curled came off as rare in my eyes (there were not only no delinquents in Naoetsu High, but nobody even dyed their hair brown). 

An immortal vampire, except with suicidal tendencies, huh. 

I guess that’s a pretty good fit. 

“I see. That distinct sense of irony; I’m noticing someone here is majoring in Cocteau.” 

“Eh? I’m not, though...?” 

I tempted fate with that remark, but unexpectedly bewildered the bright college girl—anyway, that was during the after-party. 

We had moved to a karaoke room (a very normal thing to do). 

There were no rooms large enough to fit everyone available, so we split into two groups. We were on the verge of forming the team Araragi Koyomi + Senjougahara Hitagi + Oikura Sodachi, but managed to barely avoid that situation thanks to Aoii’s cheerful interjection. 

“No, we should mix! We have to split the members! We have to be dismembered! I received strict orders from Hanekawa-san! It’s like, ‘A standing ovation, except I simply stood up because I couldn’t see after the person in front stood up’!” 

“Oh hoh. Not in a million years would I have expected to come across one of Dostoevsky’s pupils today.” 

“I’m not...” 

Like so, we split into groups decided randomly. 

Mathematically speaking, no matter how random we might try to be, the results will always end up non-random (I learned it at school the other day), so our teams were ultimately unbalanced. 

As previously noted, Aoii Mikoko, Atemiya Muimi, Emoto Tomoe, and Araragi Koyomi were gathered in room 301. While Senjougahara Hitagi, Oikura Sodachi, Usami Akiharu were in the neighboring room 302. ...Wait, that room had one more, some guy from their university who barely talked, even during the main party. He was so gloomy that even I had concerns about him; what was his name again? I think the others called him “Ikkun”... Anyway, room 302 had a nice balance, which naturally made room 301 unbalanced and an away game. 

My whole life has always been an away game. 

I’m Awaygi-san (sorry, I flubbed it). 

Regardless of how it came to be, Senjougahara Hitagi and Oikura Sodachi, who had past experiences with being the center of communities, seemed to be making the most out of the situation. I, on the other hand, still wasn’t comfortable. 

I only wanna hang out with people I know... 

Don’t leave me behind! 

So that’s why I was trying to survive through this after-party by putting on a mysterious act. For the moment, however, I couldn’t really call it a success. 

I couldn’t advertise how cultured I was. 

Shoot. So you’re telling me a weirdo on my level wasn’t mysterious or rare at all for these college girls who’d established a normal community for themselves...? Rather, it backfired by triggering this incantation-like interrogation of “What’s normal?”. 

Hanekawa really outdid herself by introducing this outrageous group to us. 

My studying regime was over, but maybe that wasn’t the case for my life make-over regime—all in all, that mother of mine was a harsh instructor. 

“Immortality also doesn’t really make sense to me,” Atemiya picked up on Aoii’s remark. 

These three had been jumping from one topic to another the whole time—I felt like I was watching a smooth-running telephone game taking place. 

“Isn’t ‘not dying’ synonymous with ‘not changing’? Wouldn’t that be super boring? Still-alive coelacanths aren’t even living fossils at this point, they’re basically monsters.” 

“Right. They also say you truly realize you’re alive when you’re near death,” Emoto added, coming off as awfully genuine. 

It felt as if she, herself, had been on the verge of death before, but instead of accepting it as hell like I’d done, she had accepted it as being normal. 

“Still, I wouldn’t want to die. Dying to feel like you’re alive, huh...that’s kinda conflicting. If only we could feel alive by simply being alive. Do we need that relativity to exist? It’s like, ‘Cat lover or dog lover? Except it’s cat lover lover or dog lover lover?’!” “Ah hah. Bringing out Saitou Ryokuu now, I see.” 

“Who?” 

How does she not know? 

Despite failing at creating a mysterious atmosphere and instead desperately grasping onto any punch lines in my sight, these three still let me partake in the conversation. At least it confirmed they were all good-natured. 

“Living means changing, doesn’t it, Araragi-kun?” 

Atemiya asked me, seemingly trying to revive the debate—talking into the mic. 

Her lecture echoed in the whole room. 

While in the meantime I could hear Oikura singing from the neighboring room with a level of wondrous mirth she would never exhibit before me... Shit, I would tease her afterwards. I would shower her with praise about her siren-like voice. 

“You can’t exactly stay the same forever, can you? What you think is ‘normal’ won’t continue to be ‘normal’ forever. Some time ago, not possessing a mobile phone seemed like a respectable stance that was even a bit cool, but now you’d be seen as a hard-headed, annoying person. It’s the same principle.” 

So even the same actions can hold different meanings. 

When someone says “He sure has changed,” it’s actually possible that only that person’s surroundings changed. There are cases where not changing and having changed relatively to others produce the same effect. 

I have seen cases of it. 

Identical behaviors on different targets produce differing results. 

Plus, even if one doesn’t do anything, they become older. 

Even an immortal and perpetually-young vampire isn’t an exception to that rule. 

Rather, they are perfect examples of it. 

For that Aberration Slayer, continuously being that iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire in itself must have demanded an intolerable amount of passing changes. 

Enough for these passing changes—to spiral into passing away. 

“Right. Then, Mikoko-chan. How about you tell Araragi-kun about that episode?” Suddenly. 

Emoto prompted Aoii, making her tilt her head. “That episode? You mean when you ended up naked the other day, Tomo-chan?” 

“Why would I want that? You really think I would ask you to tell him about the time I ended up naked?” 

“I’m joking, I’m joking. You meant that time I ended up naked the other day, right?!” 

“Why would I want that? You really think I would ask you to tell him about the time a friend of mine ended up naked?” 

“Then about the time Muimi-chan...” 

“I wasn’t naked. I haven’t even disclosed the whole story.” 

These girls were classy even when reminiscing about a time they were naked. 

It reminded me of Kanbaru—the monster of communication—my naked junior. 

...Well no, she wasn’t really my naked junior. 

What could she be doing right now, I wondered. 

I tried mentally escaping from the karaoke room by recalling the past, but the group of college girls didn’t let me. 

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Your Mikoko-tan properly knows what you’re talking about. It’s that, right? The story with the sculpture.” 

“A sculpture?” 

It’s like— 

“A sculpture, except it’s a changing sculpture.” Aoii said, suggestively—or rather, mysteriously. 

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1  Tsubasa used the word 交流 (kooryuu, “mingle”), but it can also mean “alternative current”, so after Koyomi asks back, she replies by saying it’s the inverse of 直流 (chokuryuu, “direct current”).