Monogatari Series - Volume 24 - Chapter 2.06

006

In summation, the tooth that went unceremoniously into the postbox was actually Benikujaku-chan’s milk tooth; at least, that’s what I imagined – no, that’s what I wished was true.

It was a far better image than the sixth person ripping that girl’s tooth out with a pair of pliers…obviously, the superior image would be the Beniguchis not being a family who made running away a preferable prospect.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way – so goes a famous quote, though even if the latter is true, I’ve yet to see an example of the former.

‘Hmph. Seems thou art familiar with year five schoolkids. Colour me impressed.’

Whilst I had mixed feelings on her airing out my inner thoughts, the bond between Shinobu and I means it’s pretty rare to hear her praise me.

‘So in other words, her milk tooth fell whilst she was outdoors, so she left it in the postbox?’

‘It could be the opposite. Perhaps losing her milk tooth presented an opportunity for her to leave home – as for me, it’s been so long since my first tooth fell out, I don’t remember what it was like.’

I was in primary school then, after all.

When Higasa-chan heard about the front tooth, she must’ve imagined Benikujaku-chan in immense pain; not necessarily as painful as having a heart hollowed out, but at least as painful as having a finger chopped off or an eyeball dug out – anybody would’ve thought that.

But if she’s a primary schoolgirl, then that might not be the case…when people are aráten, losing their teeth is actually considered a proof of growth.

Something worth celebrating.

‘Ignoring the utter enigma behind shortening “around ten” to “aráten”, such a theory isn’t impossible…thing is, there’s nothing much we can say about this. Unlike what our appearances would suggest, our experiences as petites filles have been long lost to time, so none of this means anything to all three of us’, Ononoki-chan said, breaking down my words.

This is teeth talk, after all.

‘To be incentivised to leave home as soon as her first tooth fell and she felt herself to be growing, such a deduction leaves much room to be desired. It sounds awfully like her sister moving out once she’s eighteen. Maybe she learned it from her older stepsister…’

‘Maybe she can’t wait to be eighteen, so she lowered that hurdle compared to her sister…’

‘But Vampsire – Vampsire being short for Mister Vampy – I heard it’s Japanese tradition to throw your upper milk teeth down to the ground, and to throw your lower milk teeth up onto the roof; what tradition would throwing your milk tooth into the postbox constitute? To which direction are we throwing our teeth to now?’

‘Well, there are two possible answers to your question I can think of.’

‘Wow, Mister Vampy, I can’t believe you know the word “two”.’

‘If you’re going to be surprised, be surprised I have two answers…’

I continued.

‘So, first…

Knowing full well I can’t do it as well as Higasa-chan did – nevertheless,

‘She could be flustered and left her front tooth in the postbox because she didn’t know what to do – it is her own tooth, after all, so she’d be hesitant in throwing it in the bin, though honestly it’d be strange if kids these days know about the tradition Ononoki-chan just spoke of…if that front tooth fell during her way home from school, and she decided to leave home then and there, then placing it in the postbox would be a good compromise.’

‘Compromise…so, my master, she proceeded to depart her home in silence?’

Shinobu said, folding her arms.

She may be an unwilling participant, but it seems she’s interested in this conversation in her own way.

‘It may be true that the tooth was discovered the second night she disappeared, but it may not be the moment when that teeth was deposited. Ka-ka. Do those parents treat their postbox with equal neglect as their issue?’

Issue, she said.

You’ve never said that before, have you?

Don’t go and change your character just because it’s a new Season.

Then again, she could be right…even if they diligently checked their postbox every day, a single tooth down in the corner is something too easy to miss.

‘However, Shinobu. I find the second answer more probable – that is, when Benikujaku-chan noticed that her parents were oblivious to the fact that she’s gone, she then came back home to sneak a tooth in the postbox in order to incite them.’

‘Ah, I see, my master. Staged, as thou said. Hm.’

Shinobu said, as if replaying that earlier conversation.

Not that there was any special meaning behind using that word, it just slipped from my mind – perhaps stemming from a subconscious desire.

A stock saying blurted out without having taken stock.

Moving on, if the second instance was true, at least we can deduce that she isn’t far from home – whereas if it was the former, we’d have no idea how far she could be from home.

If it was as cute as ‘leaving home, but not far enough so that she can peek at what’s happening back there’, then our search would be much easier…of course, in reality, there can be many other possibilities other than the two I’ve mentioned.

One of the more probable ones being ‘Benikujaku-chan was plainly kidnapped by an odd kidnapper’; such a possibility we cannot ignore.

At the same time, we cannot lose sight of hope.

It is hope after all.

‘We must cling onto hope in the same way as we desire to see small girls in a state of undress…’

‘That final sentence was not needed, my master. My retorts are not needed at every turn.’

Shinobu stopped me as my partner.

She continued,

‘’Tis certainly more affectionate than “issue”. I shall call her a “small girl” too hereafter.7 The names of humans continue to elude me.’

It’s not really that important…then again, it’s far less cumbersome than ‘the victim of the kidnapping who’s in year five of primary school’.

Even so, simply calling her a ‘victim child’ would also be putting it too strongly…since that would involve a scenario I wished didn’t happen, I guess I have no qualms about Shinobu saying ‘small girl’.

Besides, it’s way more common.

That ‘Benikujaku’ is a more memorable name is only a human thing.

‘True. We don’t even know what Benikujaku-chan looks like, so giving her a nickname this soon would be in bad taste. Couldn’t we just name her after Mister Vampy’s type? You know, small as a transistor and slim to boot – Transistor Slender.’8

‘What’s “Transistor Slender” supposed to mean? Isn’t that just a normal child who’s a bit thin?’

But it is true that I have no idea what Benikujaku-chan looks like – this is a few connections too far, and Higasa-chan has no info on her looks either.

Mitonon probably has no idea either – even if she did, there’s a chance she has bad intel, such is the nature of the game of telephone.

‘Now I’m starting to get why Araragi-san would visit here. In the middle of the night.’

‘I’m saying this right now, wasn’t it more convenient for me to look for you at night? You know, given you’re…’

‘A god of strolling, indeed.’

‘No, you’re –’

‘Yep. A god of lost children.’

Hachikuji said with a smirk.

‘I am an expert on not heading home, and I’m also an expert who can’t go home. In other words, my bounceless experience could come in useful in searching for Benikujaku-chan’s whereabouts after she left home. Is that what Araragi-san’s saying?’

More or less.

I didn’t say anything about bounceless experience though.9

‘The worst case scenario is of course there actually being an evil kidnapper, but even if there isn’t, a year five kid on her own for even a few days would already cause quite a stir, not to mention the bad press. Therefore, it’s our job to find and guard her ASAP, otherwise I can’t see anything good happen if this gets dragged on.’

‘What say ye? Is it not meant to be for this kidnapper to receive an old-fashioned beating?’

‘Only if we have to, though even then I believe it’s a job better left for the police. I’m sure it’s not a good thing if I get addicted to stuff like this anyway.’

‘How so?’

Ononoki-chan asked.

Given I’m under her watch, I’d have to answer carefully – careful in choosing my words.

‘Be it vampires or gods, for me to lend supernatural powers to lay down my vision of justice – that’s the thing I’m scared of getting addicted to.’

It wouldn’t just be bad, it’d spell the end of me.

To borrow from the specialist Oshino Meme, ‘if you do that, you’re no longer human’.

Therefore, I shouldn’t work towards justice, but kindness – this is Araragi Koyomi’s line in the sand.

Drawn after that turbulent time in high school, drawn as a university student.

‘I see you’ve put some thought before diving head-first and saving another girl, another Transistor Slender whom you’ve never met, Mister Vampy. Then fine, I won’t kill you for now.’

‘Wait…what? Your clearance is such that you can kill me any time, Ononoki-chan?’

Also, don’t preface it with all this Transistor Slender business…I don’t want ‘because she’s Transistor Slender’ to be the reason I save her.

I may have borrowed from Oshino just now, but not everything from that Hawaiian-shirt-wearing, middle-aged man I agree with – I don’t think ‘people can only save themselves’.

People can be saved, even if they’re five circles away.

That’s where the supernatural powers come in.

‘You never think about consequences, Mister Vampy. Or should I say, you only look at what’s in front of you.’

Ononoki-chan did once say that I should avoid committing to something too odd, otherwise it’d conflict with the story four years later – but if that’s the case, then you shouldn’t have mentioned that something would happen in four years…

What, is it the story of me becoming a rock star?

‘If asked something like “which would you rather have, ten thousand yen today or eleven thousand yen tomorrow”, Mister Vampy’s the type who’d answer “today” without hesitation. Now of course, that’s not necessarily a wrong choice – intuitively, you’d imagine “tomorrow” would be the smarter option, and that those who chose “today” would be impatient, but that’s not what behavioural economics would say; taking eleven thousand yen tomorrow might not leave you better off, since you never know if you can even make it to tomorrow.’

‘……’

The corpse doll started talking about behavioural economics for no reason…quite a scary story she’s telling, too.

‘Even if one makes it to tomorrow alive, there’s also a chance that whoever was giving the money to go back on their word, so taking the money right then and there could be considered the more practical option, compared to the uncertainty in choosing to take the money tomorrow. It may not be clever, but it is grounded. In a sense, it’s buying twenty-four hours with a thousand yen – which, to bring us back, means I don’t think there’s anything wrong in rushing ahead and saving people. There’s no need to think about questions like “is it good for lil’ Transistor Slender if I saved her” or something like that.’

I don’t think calling Transistor Slender ‘Transistor Slender’ would do any good for Transistor Slender…but I understand what she meant.

Although I don’t quite get why she said what she said to me…I’m not that rash, I think.

Everything I do is well thought out.

Perhaps what I’m doing here is pointless, but at least I have the extra strength for it – I’m in that moratorium period known as ‘uni life’.

…No.

That’s not all.

I may be saving people, but I’m not doing it selflessly – not like Hanekawa. Or perhaps that’s exactly what went through her mind when she did what she did with me in spring break?

Anyway – Hanekawa.

Hanekawa Tsubasa, I mean.

‘I wouldn’t shy from providing assistance, but there’s one thing I’d like to ask after hearing all that.’

Hachikuji said.

Looks like she understood things enough to raise a question.

‘If it turns out she wasn’t kidnapped but ran away herself, then of course I’d agree to give her protection; I’d even regale her my experiences, but Araragi-san, what’re you going to do with her after that? Send her back –’

‘Sending her back home is not an option’, I interrupted.

No, not sending her home after protecting her is, as I think of it now, quite a terrifying prospect too, but that’s not exactly what I meant.

I’m not proposing something as sinister as kidnapping a child who ran away from home.

‘Even if you believed only half of what Higasa-chan said when she said “what I say stays in this room” –’

‘Come to think of it, the moment you started telling us, “what I say stays in this room” has become null and void. For you to spill a secret to three people at once, you really aren’t tight-lipped at all. Careful, or I’ll literally seal your lips.’

‘– Even if you believed only half of what she said, the part where the family is said to make running away a better choice deserves further attention. To send a child back where she escaped from could result in greater tragedy, and that’s a story I want no part in.’

‘Well, no matter what happens, listening to her – the small girl – and what she has to say would be paramount when making further decisions.’

It seems Hachikuji prefers ‘small girl’ over ‘Transistor Slender’ – not a surprise. Only Ononoki-chan would say something like Transistor Slender.

‘So then, is it reasonable to assume that by “protecting her” Araragi-san meant taking her to your house?’

‘It’s not infeasible…although I’m sure my parents would have a few words for me if I, a uni student, brought a year five girl home.’

‘Dare I venture that this goeth far beyond “having a few words”…’

‘Actually, Araragi-san, didn’t you forcefully yank me back to your house that other time? You know, with me as a year five girl?’

‘Shh!’

‘Why are you shushing me?’

‘That short story’s difficult to get a hold of anyway, it’s all fine.’

‘I feel there’ll be a compilation of all of them sooner or later…’

Oh no.

I was talking about having the spare capacity to save people, but now I’m facing a major crisis…hang on, that’s not what I was talking about.

‘Hitagi’s in the girls’ dorms, and that’s heavily guarded. So I’m thinking of asking Sodachi for help. She lives alone, so there’s no problem in her hiding a small child.’

‘Thou may ask plenty favours from thy truculent childhood playmate, but surely thou should notice by now that she despiseth thee?’

‘Wouldn’t that make big sis Oikura the kidnapper?’

Big sis Oikura.

The two have never met, and yet Hachikuji sounds really close with her.

‘Not a problem. She doesn’t care if she’s breaking the law or not.’

‘Wouldn’t that be a very big problem?’

Well, it is a big problem, but there is one reason why I’m doing this.

Oikura isn’t the type to do things ‘for others’, let alone ‘saving others’ (she can tear her mouth apart, or have her mouth be torn apart before she would even say such a thing), yet even so, she has exception for small girls with tragic upbringings.

Because as far as Oikura is concerned, that’d be the same as saving herself –

‘So I want to exploit this weak spot of hers.’

‘Dón’ callit a weak spot.’

‘Dón’ callit a weak spot.’

‘Dón’ callit a weak spot.’

I was met with a simultaneous triple retort from all three directions, from the young girl, the little girl, and the tween girl – I don’t know what synchronisation this is; the young girl and little girl even changed their tone.

Mm, I can’t call it a weak spot.

Incidentally, my lover, Senjougahara Hitagi, who’s not an option here due to her dorm’s security, she similarly had a horrendous upbringing, but sadly she’s the type of person who ‘hates their own past’, so she’d take no exception to taking in a small girl.

If anything, she might be deadly strict with her.

I can’t let her become her past self – so even if she lived alone and not in the dorms, I still wouldn’t ask for her help.

It’s more trouble than it’s worth.

She wouldn’t show up until the epilogue anyway.

‘Now obviously, if the Beniguchis turn out to be fine, then we’ll of course send her back. That’s the scenario I’m hoping for – best to have it just be a dud.’

‘Best to have some freshly-let blood?’

Shinobu, the former vampire she is, managed to mishear that this badly; anyway, this is what’s going to happen. In short:

①: Ask Ononoki-chan to investigate the Beniguchi household.

②: Shinobu and I will search for Benikujaku-chan in the meantime.

③: If it is a kidnapping, then leave it to the police and make a clean exit.

③ being the most important part.

I have to be careful, otherwise I’ll cross the line.

‘Wait, what? So I don’t have to help with ① or ②? Even though I’m a god?’

‘I’d like you to, but it is true that Benikujaku-chan’s home is in the next town over. As the god of this town, surely it’s not good for you to be outside of it for long?’

Overenthusiastic walks aren’t necessarily a good thing.

It’d be bad if it became an excursion.

Once one becomes a god, one’s freedom of movement decreases…well, at least there’s one thing the world of oddities has in common with human society.

The further you climb up the ladder, the further you are tied down, or something like that.

‘I can go out if I want to. After all, as a god in Japan, I’m expected to be at Izumo during the tenth month – maybe I’ll walk there.’

Why is she more free-spirited than before she became a god?

Really tricky to deal with, these folks can be.

Stop making yourself more free.

‘But since Araragi-san was being considerate, I would not waste Araragi-san’s goodwill. I don’t want to end up in hell. As a god, I should at least act more like one. Dignified. Serious.’

‘So it shall be. Your advice already helps a lot.’

Well, leaving aside whether she could make it, and leaving aside the tenth month being traditionally called ‘the month without gods’, I still think it’s best not to leave the Kitashirahebi Shrine empty – the lengthy hiatus of the divine has brought many calamities upon this town before.

It’d be too early to call those tragedies ‘memories’.

‘Mm. Indeed. The absence of the divine wrought upon even myself, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, a most terrible affliction.’

‘No, Shinobu, you’re fine. You’ve no idea how full you’ve made my life since we met. Come, want to sit on my thigh?’

‘Mm? I see. If thou insistest, then it cannot be helped.’

‘Quit flirtin’, ya gobshite.’

Ononoki-chan gave a strong retort.

I can feel her watchful glare, even if she’s totally expressionless.

‘I’ll lop ye leg off.’

‘I didn’t know you were such a terrifying oddity, Ononoki-chan…’

‘I can assure you I am not; I’m in fact quite gentle. I find myself quite affected by your affinity towards saving people. Plus, to rope me in, someone who’s supposed to be watching over you at home, and put me to use, I do like that side of you.’

‘So you do like me after all.’

‘That’s more because I’m a shikigami, a tsukumogami, which is to say, an implement. I’m glad if people find good use for me.’

I see, an easily understandable principle.

From that, one can deduce that the violent onmyōji Kagenui-san, and her superior, Gaen Izuko-san, both manage to use Ononoki-chan as a tool superlatively, and eke out the greatest performance from her.

It’d be difficult if I were asked to do it on the same level as them. I’ll still give it my all though.

‘So then, while Mister Vampy and that young girl seductress go and do god’s work, I shall investigate the Beniguchis.’

She may be full of complaints, and I can’t tell otherwise due to her expressionless face, but even though the job is quite far away from her wheelhouse, she still seems genuinely happy about having something to do.

Much as I don’t want to ruin this moment,

‘Sorry, Ononoki-chan. We might know they’re in the next town over, but we don’t know their exact address.’

I still feel obliged to give her every detail.

With what little I have, the most I can say is that Mitonon’s senpai from middle school’s younger sister is definitely not in this town – Higasa-chan and Mitonon were teammates, so she’d know where Mitonon lives.

The Beniguchis, in turn, would be in the same school district as the Shounous…but even if it was the next town over, I’d have no idea which cardinal direction I should head towards.

As far as the next town over is concerned, our town’s the next town over…and perhaps, just as ‘friend’ became ‘friend of a friend’, maybe ‘the next town over’ is actually two towns away. It might be possible if the middle school was a private school, and to stretch this further, once that senpai hit eighteen and moved out, maybe the Beniguchis moved too.

‘It’s okay, Vampsire. I’m a pro.’

How reassuring.

Seems she has the know-how when it comes to searching for people.

There was a time when I paired up with Ougi-chan and we’d do our mystery-like segment, but I guess the real detective was under my nose all along.

‘Yes, the know-how of going through every front door and looking at the nameplates.’

‘Well that’s not good.’

Okay, so less detective, more beat officer.

My parents might be proud of that, though.

‘Just kidding. But looking people up really is one of my specialities – I’m also good at going back up a chain of “rumours”. I’ll contact you one by one once I have something.’

‘Mm. Send me a text.’

‘Apologies, my child’s phone couldn’t do texting…I’m not that good at talking over the phone either, so I’ll just tell you in person if I find something.’

Uh…wouldn’t that be a lot of trouble too?

It’d be a lot of moving back and forth, and Ononoki-chan would have no idea where I’d be then.

If I see a shikigami as a tool, then I can understand that tools don’t use tools very well…actually, come to think of it, I don’t see Ononoki-chan using weapons much.

‘What about it? Even if Mister Vampy and the seductress vampire were on the other side of the earth, I’ll still know where you are.’

‘I let it slide the first instance I heard it, but I say, thee. The next time thou callest me a seductress vampire will be thy last.’

‘It was a compliment towards your heart-stopping aura. Then instead of calling you a young girl seductress, I shall call you a young golden seductress.’

‘I find that quite awesome…’

Oi, don’t let it get to you.

You’re better than that nickname.

You just went wild because you heard the word ‘gold’, didn’t you?

‘Anyway, Mister Vampy, movement isn’t a problem for me. You may say it’s a lot of back and forth, but I can handle it fine. I’ll just come back the same way as I leave.’

‘The same way as you…how?’

‘Like this.’

Ononoki-chan, the corpse doll, stood up all of a sudden.

‘Unlimited Rulebook.’

As soon as she uttered those words, she rocketed towards the skies.