Monogatari Series - Volume 2 - Chapter 3.2

002

“Ah…Mister Ah-ah-ah-gi.”

“It’s Araragi.”

“I’m sorry. A slip of the tongue.”

As I biked down a slope getting home from school on a Friday, ahead of me I saw a little girl with pigtails carrying a backpack, namely Mayoi Hachikuji, so I hit my brakes, came to a stop to her left, and called out to her, at which she blinked and acted surprised and mispronounced my name like always.

While a small part of me was touched that my name could still be mangled in a new way, I, ever conscientious, corrected her.

“Don’t be turning me into some sidekick who takes his name from his cluelessness.”

“I think it sounded quite cute.”

“I sounded like a total loser.”

“Hmm. Well, I think that might be surprisingly fitting.” The fifth grader could let some mean words slip out of her mouth. “In any case, I’m glad to see that you’re doing well, Mister Araragi. I’m delighted that we’re able to meet like this again. How have you been? Has anything in particular happened since then?”

“Huh? Oh, no, not really. That kind of thing isn’t common. I’ve been living in peace. Peace, or maybe quiet. Oh, but I do have my skills test coming up soon, and there hasn’t been much peace or quiet in my life when it comes to that.”

About two weeks earlier─May fourteenth, Mother’s Day.

I met her, Mayoi Hachikuji, in a park that day, and found myself getting wrapped up in a bit of a case as a result… Well, what happened wasn’t concrete enough to be called a case, nor general enough to highlight or spotlight, but at any rate, I was involved in an experience that wasn’t quite normal.

When I say it wasn’t normal, I mean it wasn’t normal.

But we were able to solve it in the end thanks to the help of an unpleasant dude, namely Oshino, and Senjogahara─and everything was fine, but if what happened on May fourteenth was fate and not a fluke, then spending every day of the following two weeks in peace and quiet must have also been fate and not a fluke.

As far as I could tell, Hachikuji was doing okay too─which seemed to mean that the Mother’s Day incident had come to an amicable end. This was rare since the experience wasn’t a normal one. In that regard, for me─and Hanekawa─and Senjogahara─what came after our not-quite-normal experiences, their aftermath, was actually tougher to deal with─or much crueler. More miserable, even.

Mayoi Hachikuji.

In that regard, I envied her.

“Oh, is something the matter? How indecent of you, Mister Araragi, to stare at me with such passionate eyes.”

“…What passionate eyes?” And indecent? This was some low passion.

“Stare at me with such eyes a second more and you’ll make me go hic.”

“What’s wrong with your diaphragm?”

Eek, maybe.

Well, considering her circumstances, it wouldn’t be right simply to feel envious of her…because in a way it’s Hachikuji who has it the toughest and cruelest, neither me nor Hanekawa nor Senjogahara. I’m sure many people would be inclined to take that view.

As I mused, two high school students passed to the left of my bike. Both of them were girls. They were wearing uniforms from a different school than mine. The pair looked at Hachikuji and me with clear suspicion, and unsubtly hushing their voices, whispered as they passed by, in an extremely grating display… I suppose high school senior Koyomi Araragi engaging in earnest conversation with fifth grader Mayoi Hachikuji appeared very dodgy to ordinary sensibilities.

Fine.

The cold gaze of society didn’t bother me.

I hadn’t accosted Hachikuji without the necessary resolve. Why, all that really mattered was that she and I understood the truth. Shallow prejudice was powerless against the friendship that she and I had forged.

“Oh dear, Mister Araragi, it seems those two figured out that you’re a pedophile. My deepest condolences.”

“Don’t you be saying that!”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. Being fond of little girls isn’t, in and of itself, against the law. Your preferences and predilections are your own. It’s just that you mustn’t practice your abnormal philosophy.”

“You know, even if I did like little girls, I’d hate you!”

We hadn’t forged any friendship.

I seemed to be surrounded by people like her.

I glanced behind me.

We were alone now.

For the time being.

“…You’re a scarily promising kid, you know that? But Hachikuji, what’re you doing here wandering around at this hour? Did you get lost on your way somewhere again?”

“Isn’t that quite the rude way to put it, Mister Araragi. I’ve never been lost since the day I was born.”

“That’s an impressive memory you got there.”

“You’re making me blush with your compliments.”

“No, it really is impressive. Being able to forget all the stupid, inconvenient stuff.”

“Oh, not at all. By the way, who are you again?”

“I’ve been forgotten!”

It was a pretty neat riposte.

She had good taste.

“…Really, though, even if it’s a joke, it’s depressing to be forgotten by someone, Hachikuji.”

“I forget all the stupid, inconvenient people.”

“Hey, I’m not so stupid that you can call me that! And I said stuff, not people!”

“I forget all the stupid, inconvenient...stuff.”

“Good, good, that’s…not right! It’s not right at all! You shouldn’t go around calling people ‘stuff’!”

“But you said to, yourself.”

“Be quiet. No playing gotcha.”

“You’re very self-centered, aren’t you, Mister Araragi? Very well, then. I’ll be considerate and put it another way.”

“Let’s hear it…”

“Stupid, convenient people.”

“………”

It was a fun conversation.

To be honest, I did have some reservations about myself, this high schooler named Koyomi Araragi who chatted with a fifth grader like we were peers, but it did feel pretty similar to talking to my sisters, who were in middle school, so… Plus, maybe it was the difference between elementary and middle school girls, but Hachikuji wasn’t strangely touchy or oddly cynical, and our conversation had a better flow to it than when I talked to my little sisters.

“Haa…”

With a sigh, I got off my bicycle.

Pushing its handlebars, I began walking forward.

Talking with Hachikuji was fun, but standing around and running on for too long could have an adverse effect on my later plans. Not that I was particularly pressed for time, but I still decided to push along my bike as we spoke. Better to walk and talk than stand and talk. Hachikuji must have been wandering around without a specific destination because she strolled alongside my bike without a word or gesture from me. I bet she just had nothing to do.

There was another reason that I chose to get going─I glanced behind again, but it looked like I didn’t need to worry on that account for the time being.

“Where are you headed, Mister Araragi?”

“Mm. Home, for now.”

“For now? So will you be going out after that?”

“Yeah, I guess─remember what I just told you about the skills test being soon?”

“Your skills, which is to say your very worth, will be facing a moment of truth?”

“It’s nothing that big… The moment of truth is simply whether or not I’ll graduate.”

“Is that so. The moment of truth of whether you’ll not graduate.”

“………”

It meant the same thing, but the nuance was so different.

Such a tricky affair, this language thing.

“Mister Araragi, you are, after all, a convenient person mentally.”

“I’d honestly be happier if you just said I was stupid.”

“No, I’d never. There are some things that are better off taken for granted.”

“But not better off left unsaid, I see!”

“Oh, um, don’t worry. I don’t have the best grades either, so we’re in the same boat, the same boat, okay?”

“……”

I was being comforted by an elementary schooler.

In the same boat as an elementary schooler.

Not only that, when it came to herself, she wasn’t stupid but merely didn’t have “the best grades.” Mayoi Hachikuji was slyly deceptive.

“Well, it actually hits close to home for me,” I said. “I’m seriously going to be in a bad spot if I bungle this skills test.”

“Will you be expelled?”

“No matter how preppy of a prep school it is, I’m not going to be expelled over a low test score. I mean, any prep school where I would sounds like a setup to a joke. So the worst that can happen is that I’ll have to repeat a grade, but… But I do want to avoid that.”

If I could.

No, not if I could. I had to.

“Hm. In that case, Mister Araragi, are you really in a position to be going out again today? You should hurry and lock yourself in at home and study for your test.”

“Surprisingly solid advice, Hachikuji.”

“‘Solid advice’? That’s two words too many, sir!”

“But ‘surprisingly’ was fine?!”

What a born entertainer.

“Well, there’s no need for you to worry, Hachikuji, if anything you’ve hit the nail on the head. I don’t need to be told. You see, I may be going out, but it’s not to play or to shop. I’m going out to study.”

“Hrm?” Hachikuji tilted her head like a grownup. “So you’re saying you’re going to study at the library or something? Hmm. I personally think that the best environment for studying is a familiar one where you can relax, like your own room… Oh, or will you be going to a cram school or something?”

“If I had to say, cram school would be closer to the mark,” I answered. “You remember Senjogahara, don’t you? Well, she gets some of the top grades in our whole year, and she promised to coach me at her place today.”

“Miss Senjogahara…”

Hachikuji folded her arms and faced down.

Wait, had she forgotten? Not because it was inconvenient, but possibly out of fear?

“Her full name is Hitagi Senjogahara,” I tried to remind her. “You know, the lady with the ponytail who was with me the other day, who helped─”

“Oh, that tsundere?”

“………”

She did remember.

It appeared as though Senjogahara was being granted the “t──e” title all around town… Was she okay with that? I needed to ask her how that made her feel, just so I’d know how to react, on my part.

“She was an endlessly tolerant women, I recall. She carried me on her back the entire time as she showed me the way.”

“Those are some really embellished memories, you know?!”

Senjogahara was functioning like a trauma for Hachikuji. Considering their respective circumstances, that almost made sense…

“Hmm,” murmured Hachikuji, her arms still crossed. “Oh, but…if I’m not mistaken, you and Miss Senjogahara are─well, um, how to put it.”

Hachikuji seemed to be choosing her words with care. I had a good idea what her question was, but I got the impression that she was reluctant to phrase it in a bald way and was searching for a different expression. While I wouldn’t call it curiosity, I was somewhat interested in the selection process her fifth-grade vocabulary would undergo, so I stood there and watched, offering her no lifeline.

Finally, she said, “You’ve entered into a lovers’ contract, correct?”

“You couldn’t have done worse!”

To no one’s surprise, I found myself yelling at her.

Another textbook interaction between us.

“Excuse me? Did I say something odd, Mister Araragi?”

“On the surface, you didn’t use any funny words, but few people would fail to smell something rotten from their nuance…”

“If the word ‘contract’ is the problem…then what about ‘transaction’? A lovers’ transaction.”

“You did manage to make it worse! Just speak like a normal person, I don’t care!”

“Hmph. All right, as you wish. I’ll speak like a normal person. Normal comes easy to me when I feel like it. Here I go, are you ready? If I’m not mistaken, you are Miss Senjogahara’s gentleman caller.”

“…Um, I guess.”

Now she was coming at me with an awfully musty locution.

That was her idea of normal?

“So this claim that she’ll be coaching you is surely no more than a pretext, and you’ll end up trading caresses?”

“………”

Another musty expression.

Something was definitely off about her vocabulary.

“Mister Araragi, if I may, visiting your lover’s home right before a skills test that will ascertain if you can repeat a grade is nothing short of suicidal.”

“It’ll ascertain if I can graduate.” She seemed to think that I was a pretty big idiot. You poor thing, I pitied myself. “And don’t be calling it ‘suicidal,’ either.”

“All right, then. It seems like nothing short of suicide.”

I was being bullied by an elementary school kid. You poor thing, I pitied myself. “Watch it,” I warned her, “or I’ll bust you up, sooner or later…”

“Bust me up? Are you talking about my chest? What exactly are you seeking from my elementary-school body?”

“Shut up. Don’t play gotcha when you haven’t even gotten me.”

I bonked Hachikuji on the head.

In return, Hachikuji kicked my shin.

Draw declared, out of mutual respect.

“Well anyway, Hachikuji, no need to worry on that point… Senjogahara is ridiculously strict about these things.”

“She’s strict about studying? How Spartan. Ah, now that you say so, she didn’t seem the type to suffer fools gladly.”

“Yep. She said as much herself.”

That’s why she found children insufferable.

Including Hachikuji.

Maybe she found me insufferable, too.

Though, of course, I wasn’t only talking about studying when I described Senjogahara as “strict”… Well, let’s just agree that she’s a model student.

“So she’s like Gunnery Sergeant Heartful,” Hachikuji said.

“Whoever that is sounds like the friendliest NCO ever.”

“Um, I believe Miss Senjogahara’s home is near that park─”

“No, I think I already told you, but she moved away a while ago─I’ve already been there once, a little before I met you, and it’s pretty far. If I go home, switch bikes, and head over… Ugh, now that I’m looking at the time, I kind of need to hurry.”

“If you’re in a rush, I won’t be so boorish as to keep you.”

“No, I don’t have my back against the wall or anything yet.”

I may have been heading to Senjogahara’s, but it was still to study, and the honest truth was that I couldn’t quite get in the mood…though who knew what acid-tongued abuse Senjogahara would unleash if I told her that.

Oh boy.

Hitagi Senjogahara.

It was true of Hachikuji, too, but Senjogahara was certainly─

“Hey, Hachikuji…are you─”

Just then.

Mid-sentence, I heard a sound from behind me.

A sound.

The sound of footsteps.

A sharp and lively rhythm, less a series of strides than leaps, outright jumps, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup─such footsteps.

There was no need to glance behind me to confirm.

Yeah, I guessed not…

In terms of not being able to enjoy some peace and quiet, I was burdened with another dire threat on top of the skills test…

Just when I thought I’d shaken it.

Tup, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup.

The footsteps got closer and closer.

There was no need to confirm, but still─

I couldn’t help it.

Tupp!

Just as I completed my reluctant, recalcitrant turn─she leapt.

She, Suruga Kanbaru, was leaping through the air.

Across more than just several feet, as though performing a long jump, airborne with an ideal form and trajectory that seemed to ignore the law of universal gravitation─and passing me to my right still airborne, almost at eye level─

She landed.

Her fluttering hair settled when she did.

A school uniform.

This time, needless to say, it was my school’s.

Her scarf was colored second-year yellow.

By the way, leaping in her uniform meant that her skirt, modified to be shorter as they are these days, had flown up as well, but since she wore bike shorts that reached to her knees─the pleasure wasn’t mine.

Her skirt, too, fell back into place just a moment later.

Suddenly, I noticed a smell like burning rubber.

The source seemed to be intense friction between the asphalt and the soles of her unmistakably expensive sneakers… How exceptionally athletic was she, anyway?

Then our basketball ace, Suruga Kanbaru─turned around.

Though not thoroughly adult, her expression was cool and commanding in a way most third-years couldn’t pull off, and her handsome eyes─looked straight at me.

She placed her hand on her chest as if she were about to make a pledge.

Then she flashed a little grin.

“Hello there, my senior Araragi. What a coincidence.”

“I’ve never heard of such a contrived coincidence!”

She’d obviously sprinted in my direction.

When I looked around, Hachikuji was clean gone. Despite being blunt and brusque toward me, Mayoi Hachikuji was a surprisingly bashful kid, and she’d exercised a snap judgment and fleet-footedness to go with it. Of course, just about anyone would flee if a strange woman came dashing at such an unholy speed (it must have looked like Kanbaru was heading straight for her from where she stood).

Still, she really wasn’t much of a friend, was she…

Fine, fine.

When I looked back at Kanbaru, she was nodding over and over again like she was utterly enchanted and profoundly moved for some reason.

“…What’s the matter?”

“No, I was just pondering your words, to engrave them deep in my heart. ‘I’ve never heard of such a contrived coincidence’… The perfect line for the occasion, the kind that everyone hopes to come up with but fails to. That’s what I call a razor wit.”

“………”

“Yes, you’re right,” Kanbaru said. “I did come chasing after you.”

“…Um, yeah. I know.”

“Ah, so you did know. Anything a fledgling like me tries to pull is transparent to someone of your caliber, I take it. This is awkward, and I could not feel more embarrassed, but I am duly impressed.”

“………”

What are you supposed to say to that?

God knows what kind of expression was stuck on my face at that moment, but Suruga Kanbaru paid no mind and brandished her vivid smile at me.

Three days earlier.

As I walked down the hallway, the very same Suruga Kanbaru approached me with resonant footsteps and began talking to me like it was nothing. So much so that I ended up replying normally, but this was the star second-year, a celebrity known the school over, someone whom even I, a third-year estranged from such gossip, knew of─but never dreamed of having anything to do with in any conceivable way─so I was quite surprised.

But what really surprised me was her personality. Well, I don’t know what to call it, but I do know it’s bizarre… Suruga Kanbaru possessed a disposition, a character I’d never encountered in my whole life.

And.

Ever since, meaning from three days ago to this exact day and moment─I’d been followed around by her like this. No matter when, no matter where, no matter who might be watching, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup, Kanbaru was dashing towards me.

“Putting break periods aside,” I asked her, “didn’t you have practice after school? Should you even be here?”

“A-ha. So astute, as I’ve come to expect. You’re like the hero of a detective story who never misses the slightest discrepancy. You’d give Philip Marlowe a run for his money, a barefoot run.”

“A national-tier basketball player shouldn’t be here at this hour, it’s just odd, so enough with the flattery.”

If that was all it took to send the hero of a detective story running to his mommy, then I didn’t want to read that series.

Kanbaru was beaming. “Such modest words of self-admonition, you never fail to value humility as an asset that’s second only to your life… I’m prone to overestimating myself and ought to learn from you, starting right now. Ha ha, they say that one bad apple spoils the whole barrel, but I can feel myself growing as a person just from being with you. Now I know what ‘emulating’ is all about.”

There was no malice in her smile.

…In my life so far, I’d taken “a good person” to mean someone like Hanekawa, but I wondered if the ultimate specimens were actually more like Kanbaru.

In other words, they were even worse than Hanekawa.

Even more of a pain than our class president.

“But see, my hand is like this right now,” Kanbaru said, sticking out her left arm.

Her left arm, wrapped tight in a white bandage. Over every inch, from all five of her fingertips to her wrist. The long sleeves of her school uniform hid the rest of her arm, but the bandage probably extended up to around her elbow. I’d heard that a little while ago, she’d suffered a mishap during a solo workout and given herself a nasty sprain, or something─well, I’d heard that as a rumor, right before Kanbaru talked to me.

Rumors are rumors.

Suruga Kanbaru with her athletic prowess and flexibility spraining herself, solo workout or not, was hard to take even with a grain of salt─but since her arm was bandaged, I supposed it was the truth. Everyone makes mistakes, to err is human, even monkeys fall from trees.

“Since I can’t play, I’d only get in the team’s way at the gym. That’s why I’m refraining from going to practices now.”

“Still, aren’t you the captain? Even as it is, the team’s morale is sure to drop without you.”

“I’m disappointed to know that you think I’m carrying the whole team on my back. My team isn’t so feckless that their morale would drop just because I’m not around,” Kanbaru said in a tougher tone. “Basketball is a harsh sport. You can’t count on any single person to win the game. Sure, the position and role I play means that I stand out, but it’s only thanks to everyone else. The praise that gets showered on me ought to be shared by the whole team.”

“…Uh, I guess you’re right.”

What was the word for someone like her?

Decent? Virtuous?

What was it.

It seemed that, not just now but in general, Kanbaru was incredibly sensitive to people insulting her teammates (not that I was trying to). When she was a first-year, she flipped a table when the school newspaper was interviewing her because they said something rude about one of her elder comrades─or so one rumor went (if you’re curious, the rumor ended up being false, but something similar did happen).

Heheh, a laugh escaped Kanbaru’s lips. “I know. You were putting my aptitude as a captain to the test, weren’t you?”

“………”

What was this second-year saying to me now with such a smug and triumphant look?

Turn that gaze away from me.

“My senior, in recording your words for future generations, the writer better bold and underline them so their impression is imparted to the readers. The weight you invest in each word is overwhelming. ‘It’s not what you say, but who says it’─they often mean that in a negative sense, but you’re the one person who gives it a positive spin. Please, relax. I don’t intend to abandon my responsibilities as captain; I’m not so self-absorbed as to be that negligent. I’m aware that I have to live up to being our ace and made sure to issue workout routines. If anything, they’re focusing on practice with greater ease thanks to my absence. When the devil’s away, the mice will play.”

“The devil, huh? Well, I’m relieved to hear it anyway.”

“Sport or not, it’s just a club activity for students. Moreover, ours is a prep school. At the end of the day, an extracurricular is a way for us teens to have some memories, so fun, free, and friendly does it. Even so, most of my betters wouldn’t bother to have anything to do with me, but not only are you looking out for my relationships, you’re even thinking of my teammates. I feel bad for making you so concerned. Such depth of character expands my own horizons─to think that you’d even play the villain for the basketball team’s sake. Only someone who truly cares about his juniors could go that far. I’ve never met a person like you before, sir.”

“I’ve never met a person like you before, either…”

She was breaking new ground…

A natural-born killer with kindness…

“Is that so,” she said. “There’s no greater honor than to hear that from you. Heheh, what is this feeling, inspiration? It’s as though getting praised by someone as gracious as you has opened up a whole new well of courage in me. I feel like I can do anything now. From this day on, whenever I feel down, I’m going to come to you. A few words from my mentor will make me pick myself back up again, I know it.”

Kanbaru’s smile refused to leave her face even for a moment.

Her expression almost looked unguarded─but it wasn’t, due to an undeniable strength that resided at its core. Only someone with absolute confidence in herself could wear such a smile.

We belonged to completely different worlds.

We belonged to completely different categories.

Well, that went without saying─not even counting our personalities, the athletic girl Kanbaru, the school star, and Koyomi Araragi belonging to different worlds, different categories, was self-evident, so the question was why someone like Suruga Kanbaru had chosen to talk to me.

Not just chosen. Why she continued to.

Why she dashed toward me─and continued to do so.

It couldn’t be that she was, in her own words, coming to me because she felt down and needed to cheer herself back up. I didn’t have that kind of supernatural power. If I did, I’d be using it liberally on myself.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d asked the question over the last three days, but I asked again. “So, Kanbaru. What do you want from me?”

“Ah, yes…” She’d been making quick, eloquent replies thus far, but now for the first time seemed to be searching for the right words. But it only took a second before her cheeks were lit by a smile and she opened her mouth. “You must have read the international section of today’s paper, yes? I wanted to hear your thoughts on the unfolding political situation in Russia.”

“Current events?!”

What a topic to ask about, too. I barely knew anything about Japanese politics, but we were crossing the sea and talking about Russia?

“Oh, would India be more to your taste?” she offered. “But as you can guess, sadly I’m something of a jock, an outdoors type, who’s weak on IT-related topics. I have a better feel for the problems facing Russia.”

“I didn’t read the paper this morning,” I gave an excuse so blatant I couldn’t possibly play it down myself. Actually, I do read it, but can’t make enough of anything to partake in a discussion…

Yet Kanbaru merely said “Oh,” and her eyes took on a tender cast. “Well, you are a busy man. I can see how you might not have the time to read the paper in the morning. I apologize, I should have thought of it before blabbering so inconsiderately. We can put the topic off until tomorrow in that case, if that’s all right with you.”

“Sure…”

“How generous of you. I didn’t expect to be forgiven so easily. There is simply no way someone with your gravitas didn’t find my remark superficial, but you let it go without so much as hinting at your displeasure. Now that’s what it means to be a diplomat. I never thought that I could come to like you even more.”

“Well, thanks…”

“No need for gratitude. I’m only telling you how I feel.”

“……”

Regardless, she seemed pretty smart.

Being both smart and athletic wasn’t playing by the rules at all… It wasn’t like Hanekawa and Senjogahara were bad at sports, but they couldn’t begin to compare to this second-year. Sure, Senjogahara may have been the star of the track team in middle school, but the gap in her résumé after starting high school wasn’t negligible─more so if you added in her special circumstances.

Well, of course, I didn’t really think that Kanbaru wanted to debate me on the political situation in Russia─that was clearly a pretext. No matter how many times I asked her what she wanted from me, she was this way and wouldn’t give a straight reply.

She had to have some objective, but I didn’t have the first clue.

Why in the world was she following me around, and so suddenly? She, the star of the entire school, and I, a third-year washout, hadn’t a single thing in common.

I ought to be a total stranger to her.

“By the way, did anything odd happen to you today?” she asked.

“Hunh? Not really… Everything’s normal.” Aside from her. Well, I was starting to get used to her, too. “I have a headache thanks to the skills test we have coming up, I guess?”

“Oh, the skills test. Hm, yes. It’s been giving me a headache as well. It’s quite a pain, as someone involved in an extracurricular. Our school prohibits any practices for a week before the test, so your only choice is to train solo.”

“Huh.”

So that’s how it worked. I had trouble understanding her logic that if the school banned it, she had to work out on her own, instead of just taking a break. But hers was a different world.

“But Kanbaru, isn’t that a good thing, at least from your perspective? Your sprained left hand should heal by then.”

“Hm? Oh…true.” She looked down at her hand. “Impressive, you simply see things in a different way. Always trying to figure out how to make everyone around you happy. You’re a real master of positive thinking.”

“Hey, I could think positively for a hundred years and never get to your level…”

What kind of upbringing turned out people like her?

It baffled me.

“I know it’s a cliché,” she conceded, “but it is a student’s job to study. As annoying as they are, skills tests are skills tests, and I’m not going to take mine lightly.”

“Good thing it wasn’t your right hand.”

“Well, I’m actually a southpaw,” Kanbaru said. “Being left-handed means you have to deal with a lot of day-to-day inconveniences, but the one place it can be an advantage is the world of competitive sports. I treasure my birthright.”

“Huh, really?”

“Mm. That’s common knowledge for anyone in competitive sports. In Japan, parents still tend to correct their children’s left-handedness, so only one out of ten athletes, at most, is a southpaw. What do you think that ratio means in the sport of basketball? It’s a five-on-five game, so on average there’s only one on the court. And that would be me. It’s one of the reasons I was able to become our ace.”

“Huh…” I felt convinced, but of what I wasn’t sure.

“Still, when something like this happens, be it the result of my own carelessness, all I’m left with is a bunch of inconveniences.”

“A southpaw, eh… I don’t really understand any of that because I don’t play sports, but being left-handed just seems cool.”

That was my honest take.

Well, it was more of a preconception, even a prejudice, but somehow every little thing lefties did seemed more stylish to me.

“You say that, but aren’t you left-handed too? Heheh, I noticed immediately because you have your watch on your right wrist. Lefties are quick to pick up on fellow lefties.”

“……”

I wore my watch on my right wrist just because I felt like it, but now I didn’t dare tell her… Was I going to have to write and use chopsticks with my left hand in her presence going forward? Lefties seemed stylish to me, but not to the point where I’d reverse-correct myself…

“So,” I said, “taking the test will be quite a challenge for you. With your good hand in that shape, the Japanese exam will suck bad.”

“True, but since this is a skills test, we won’t have to write essays in any subject, and a few oddly shaped characters here and there shouldn’t be an issue. I’m sure the teachers will take my situation into account, too. Pardon me, it sounds like I’ve caused you undue concern. I do have to say, though, you really do look out for your juniors. To be able to worry about someone like me because you feel so relaxed. That’s no simple feat.”

“…Uh, I don’t know about relaxed.” Far from it. Putting aside whether I’d worry about my juniors if I were relaxed, I was anything but at the moment. “In fact, I’m about to go to a study session today.”

“A study session?” Kanbaru’s confusion was apparent. It wasn’t ringing any bells for her.

“Um, I guess a simple way to put it would be that my grades until now haven’t been the best…plus I had a pretty bad attendance record during my first and second years of high school, so…”

Why was I having to explain to her?

Star or not, she was a year below me, my junior.

“In short, this skills test is my big chance to make a comeback,” I found myself putting a good face on it. I felt small.

“Hmm. I see.” Kanbaru nodded. “I don’t really understand because I’m not the type to hustle when it comes to exam prep, but now that you mention it, my classmates do gather at someone’s house before a test…I think?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m doing.”

“Okay. So you’re about to head to a friend’s house. But,” Kanbaru said a little uncertainly, “unlike with sports, I don’t see how working together can help…”

“Don’t worry. I said it was a study session, but it’s a one-on-one where someone’s going to be teaching me, that’s all. It’s like I’m going to be tutored. There’s someone in my class with ridiculously good grades who’s going to be helping me out.”

“Huh… Ohh.” As if she’d just remembered, Kanbaru added, “You’re talking about my senior Senjogahara.”

“…What? You know her?”

“Who else could it be if it’s someone with good grades in your class? I’ve heard rumors about her.”

“Huh… Well, yeah.”

Senjogahara was famous, after all. Maybe it wasn’t surprising that a second-year knew about her.

Hm?

But wait. As far as being famous for good grades went, the first person to come to mind should have been the even more famous Hanekawa, who’d never once ceded her spot at the top of our year. At the very least, it didn’t make sense to be saying it couldn’t be anyone else. Also, if someone mentioned a study session, wouldn’t you normally assume that it was a same-sex affair and bring up a boy’s name, not a girl’s?

Why was she bringing up Senjogahara out of nowhere?

“I shouldn’t get in your way, then,” Kanbaru said. “I think I’ll get going for today.”

“Okay.”

It was very Suruga Kanbaru to stick in the “for today” even as she made a show of not overstaying her welcome.

She squatted and stretched her legs.

Warm-ups.

She took her time stretching her Achilles tendon, and then─

“May fortune smile on you.”

No sooner than she said so, she dashed back the way she came, her footsteps ringing tup, tup, tup, tup, tup, tup. She had strong legs─not only was she fast, she was abnormally quick to hit her top speed. While I doubt her hundred or two hundred meter times are that outstanding, she must be a good match even for members of the track team at ultra-short distances like thirty or fifty feet. That’s where Suruga Kanbaru, an athlete specializing in basketball, a sport where you run in every direction within a limited play field, shines…and then, before I knew it, she was out of sight. Her short skirt flew up from her vigorous motions, but that surely didn’t bother Kanbaru, who wore bike shorts long enough to extend below her skirt.

…Still, I thought, she ought to wear a tracksuit when she runs. That way she’d spare onlookers like me from getting our vile hopes up.

Sheesh, though.

It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

This encounter had been relatively brief, but…if she didn’t hurry up and reveal why she was following me around, I couldn’t rest easy, since this situation might drag on. Sure, it wasn’t causing me any actual damage or harm, so leaving her be was technically an option, but that personality of Kanbaru’s did more than a little to tire out people like me. No, was there anyone out there who wouldn’t get tired talking to her? If there was─

Yeah. Maybe Senjogahara was the only person on that list.

“Mister Rararagi.”

“…You’re asymptotically closer to the right pronunciation compared to the last thing you called me, but Hachikuji, don’t sing my name like you’re a cartoon dog. My name is Araragi.”

“I’m sorry. A slip of the tongue.”

“No, you’re doing it on purpose…”

“It was a srip.”

“Or maybe not?!”

“It was a trip.”

“What were you seeing?!”

Hachikuji was suddenly back by my side.

She must have returned after realizing that Kanbaru had left. I couldn’t be sure, as this was Hachikuji I was dealing with, but given how promptly she’d come back, maybe she felt her fair share of guilt for running off and leaving me on my own. Perhaps this time, she really had mistaken my name on purpose, to hide her embarrassment.

“What was with that person?” she asked.

“You couldn’t tell by watching us?”

“Hmm. Since she referred to you as her senior, if I may don my thinking hat, is she your junior at school?”

“…That’s some impressive thinking hat.”

If I were Kanbaru, this was where I’d whip out Marlowe or some other classic detective to praise Hachikuji to high heaven, but no─for a moment I thought I might try to borrow a page, but my heart was refusing to let me…

“Even so, Mister Araragi. I was all ears, but it was very hard to understand what that person was getting at. To the very end I couldn’t figure out the gist of your conversation. Had she chased after you to chat about nothing in particular?”

“Um… Well, Hachikuji, don’t ask me because I don’t know, either.”

“You don’t? I can’t help but be receptacle.”

“So you turned into a trashcan while you were gone?”

Skeptical, I assumed.

I decided to tell Hachikuji exactly what was going on. “That girl’s been stalking me.”

“Stalking? Like what women wear over their lower bodies?”

“That’s a stocking.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you really not know the word? She’s been following me no matter how much I try to skirt around her.”

“Skirt? Like what women wear over their lower bodies?”

“How did Mister Araragi become so obsessed with what ladies wear below their waists in your mind?”

I thought for a bit to see if I could come up with a word Hachikuji might confuse with bike shorts. Unfortunately, my vocabulary wasn’t up to the task, so I gave up and kept the conversation moving.

“I don’t understand why, but for about three days now, she’s been shadowing me blatantly and then popping up and starting a conversation. One-sidedly, so like you said, I can’t figure out what she’s trying to get at… I don’t know if you’d call it chatting, and I honestly have no idea what her goal is.”

Her goal─well, she had to have one.

But I didn’t have the first clue what it was.

She was deflecting my attempts to find out, for sure.

The athletic grounds are about the only place third- and second-year students see each other, which means we almost never meet by coincidence─in other words, Kanbaru was making the most of short breaks during the day to seek me out… I’d figured that out, but not much else.

“Hmm. You know, Mister Araragi, isn’t there an easy answer sitting right there? Doesn’t she just like you?”

“Wha?”

“I believe she said something to that effect.”

“…Oh, I guess? Nah, give me a break. It was just a manner of speaking. I’m not a dating sim protagonist, it’s not like I’m going to wake up one day and suddenly have girls all over me.”

“You’re right. Because if you were a dating sim protagonist, I’d be one of your flagged targets, and that’s absolutely not happening.”

“……”

Did elementary school kids know about dating sims?

Not like I had ever played one, either.

“But if you were,” Hachikuji continued, “I’m sure I’d have a high difficulty rating.”

“No, I get the feeling you’d be a pushover…”

If not for her shyness attribute, it’d all happen very quickly… In a game with six heroines, she’d be around the fourth to go down.

Of course, if you took the age issue into account, she’d be a highdifficulty character indeed.

“Kanbaru isn’t,” I objected, “that kind of… Ah, now that you mention it, I guess there are rumors that she goes from one wild romance to the next. Still, she and I had literally nothing to do with each other until now, okay? Unlike them…unlike Kanbaru and others, I’m not a school celebrity or anything.”

But upon further thought, I realized she had at least known my name and what class I was in when she first spoke to me.

Why?

Could she have…asked someone?

“Maybe she saw you picking an abandoned cat off the street,” Hachikuji said.

“I’ve never done that.”

In fact, I’d never once stumbled upon a so-called abandoned cat. In the first place, would a cat plunked in a cardboard box labeled “please adopt me” just sit in place?

That would be one well-trained cat.

“Then perhaps she saw you picking garbage off the street?”

“Hold on, did you just put cats on the same level as garbage?”

“It was only a manner of speaking, as you put it, so stop scrounging for reasons to criticize me. That’s a very vulgar hobby you have, Mister Araragi, finding sport in castigating weak little girls for things they never said.”

“Apologize to catkind. Cats can be scary, you know.”

“In any case, love at first sight does exist. They even say that relationships between people in general are based on first impressions. At least, looking at it that way explains why you’re being followed around, doesn’t it?” Hachikuji was yelping gleefully. She was an elementary schoolgirl in that way. “I’m certain of it, the woman in me is telling me that I’m right. So what will you do, Mister Araragi? She’s only nibbling now, but she might confess her feelings for you soon enough. What will you do, what will you do, what will you do?”

“Listen. I don’t like how people try to see everything in romantic terms. The ‘power of love’ they go on about in old foreign films? Imagine how peaceful the world would be if that did solve everything. No way, no how. Some simple, small-time, realistic goal makes much better sense.

“And anyway,” I said. “I’ve already cleared the highest difficulty character of all.”