Monogatari Series - Volume 18 - Chapter 1.34

034

“Okay, then. So what happened after that, Araragi-senpai? C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! What’s the epilogue, or maybe, the punch line of this story?”

I’m so, so curious, so curious to know what happened next─Ogi said, as if to rush me.

Not that I had anywhere to rush to─however much I wanted to meet her expectations when she pressed me this way.

“I already told you what happened next─as you know, or rather, as you were hoping, this connects everything together, right? I met up with Kanbaru, who’d gone ahead to my home─to deal with the case of Hanekawa’s tiger. I headed to Hanekawa, while Kanbaru headed to Senjogahara.”

“I see, I see. Yes, I had heard that before─so you made it in time for that, too. How wonderful. Again, I’m every bit as happy for you as I’d be if it happened to me. I do love Miss Hanekawa, you know,” Ogi said as perfunctorily as ever.

She and Hanekawa got along horribly.

Their relationship was all sharp edges.

“Speaking of which, does that mean Miss Hanekawa ended up being right when she had the idea that the former Heartunderblade and the first Aberration Slayer might be lovers? She really does know everything, doesn’t she.”

“Um… Wait, did I say anything about that?”

“Why, of course you did. You’d never hide anything from me!”

“Hm… Now that you mention it, I guess you might be right.”

“I suppose Miss Hanekawa wouldn’t get mad just because you decided to put her off until later. You know, it’s that chummy attitude of hers that I can’t stand. Oh, so what about whatever Miss Ononoki had been sent to handle while you were fighting the First? What could Miss Gaen have asked her to do?”

“Oh… Like I mentioned, I guess you could say that had to do with Sengoku… Basically, she had to take a little trip to get that talisman. That tween girl really is full of surprises. Or maybe you could just call her a true jack of all trades…”

“Yes, such a surprise. To think that a tween girl would live under the same roof as you─that she’d come to cohabit with you.”

You can kind of understand why Miss Gaen sees Miss Kagenui’s existence as bothersome, huh, Ogi remarked as if she already knew about Miss Gaen, but it’s not like they’d met, right?

Whatever the case, I was pretty sure that neither Miss Gaen nor Miss Kagenui had Ononoki staying at my home just so that I could cohabit with a tween girl.

“And while I’m sure that Miss Gaen was trying to further prevent things by using that talisman, it unfortunately didn’t go as planned because of my own mistake…”

“That’s right. Because Sengoku misused it, right?”

“Misused kind of paints her in a bad light…”

“Using a talisman to exorcise an immortal aberration almost sounds like something you’d do to a jiangshi… But would it be right to assume you went back and placed the talisman on the shrine once you were done?”

“Yeah… Only, reusing it that many times led to it being less effective, which might have led to what happened with Sengoku…”

“And it would be right to assume that this talisman was lost during the rebuilding of the shrine?”

“Um, well, probably…”

“What happened to li’l Episode after that?”

“Huh…?”

Li’l Episode? Why did she sound so pally? Not that it mattered.

“He took care of a little bit of the aftermath, then returned to his country─but I think he was really satisfied by the job. He hates vampires more than anything, and in the end, we managed to erase one from the world.”

“Hm… I see, I see. Well, senpai, thank you very much,” Ogi said, bowing her head. As she looked back up, her face was smiling. “Now all the pieces of the puzzle are in place. Well, some details do slightly contradict what I’ve heard until now, but we can overlook that. Tying up those kinds of paradoxical loose ends is part of the fun for the audience of all tales, which is to say me.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that… So much happened that I can’t even keep it all straight. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you explaining everything.”

“Not at all. It’s what any Koyomist would do.”

“Koyomist? What’s that supposed to mean? Is it like being a Sherlockian?”

“Ha haa. These seams form along the overall picture because you try to hide things for whatever reason. As far as unreliable narrators go, Deishu Kaiki is already more than enough─I wouldn’t go so far as to say Sherlockian. I will be doing whatever I can for you, though.”

“You know, I really don’t understand why you’re so interested in my stories.”

If there is something you can do for me, I said to Ogi.

“I’d like to hear your tale─if there’s anything I don’t want you acting conceited about, it’s that.”

“It’s not that I’m acting conceited. Just as there is a best time for all things, there is a best time for all tales─all the pieces need to be present. I’m a careful girl.”

“Careful…”

“I do feel like I slipped up a bit at the very start─oh, that’s it. I probably shouldn’t call these replacements for my own tale, but I can provide an addendum or two to yours. You do have a lingering doubt, don’t you?”

“Hm? About what?”

“Why you decided to meet Miss Kanbaru in the abandoned cram school to begin with─why you decided to wait for her in a deserted ruin, rather than at your own home. We still don’t have an answer for that one, do we?”

“Oh─now that you mention it.”

“Wasn’t that probably part of Miss Gaen’s plan?” Ogi said in a natural tone. Not as if she was solving any sort of mystery. “She probably made some kind of suggestion that worked on you─I assume it wouldn’t be that difficult to lead you into doing something then, since your heart and mind had been weakened by what happened with Hachikuji.”

“…Why? Even if that was true, why would Miss Gaen make a suggestion like that to me? Meeting there ended up aggravating all kinds of problems.”

“What I’m saying is that she wanted them to be aggravated. Miss Gaen isn’t at all a pacifist like my uncle─in other words, my guess is that everything might have gone according to her plans, all the way down to the very end, when Shinobu ate the first Aberration Slayer.”

“…”

“Not that I have any grounds for saying that─it’s just that I can’t help but think that way when I see everything ending exactly the way it should in that final scene. It makes me feel like something’s a little off.”

Whatever the case, Ogi said.

That seemed to be as much as she wanted to touch on this topic, as she tried to hurry along to the next─something I didn’t object to.

I wanted to avoid getting too deep into Miss Gaen’s prevention strategy. I found it hard to believe I moved exactly as she’d planned, then or during Sengoku’s case, but it probably would have been best if I had.

It really did make me wonder.

Why couldn’t I just do things according to plan?

“So that’s why you haven’t encountered many aberrational tales since the start of second term, with the exception of Sengoku’s─the ash once spread across town had vanished, lowering this percentage.”

“Um… Well, I think it might be more complicated than just that.”

Like Miss Gaen said.

The first Aberration Slayer disappearing did not at all mean peace going forward─which is exactly why she tried to install a new god at Kita-Shirahebi Shrine.

Rather than controlling the situation, Miss Gaen must have seen it as a necessary step from a risk management perspective, but…

“Well, I will say we managed to settle something once and for all. Both me and Shinobu.”

“I do wonder, though. What about Miss Kanbaru?”

“Hm?”

“Miss Kanbaru─I may not be a member of her fan club, but I am a supporter of hers. Her position as far as this whole affair just wouldn’t stop weighing on my mind. She ended up becoming so deeply involved in the tale, and she never played any role greater than that of a helper─ha haa, the questions just don’t stop, do they? In the end, Miss Kanbaru never did end up learning that Miss Gaen is her aunt, right?”

“Yeah─she still thought she was Oshino’s little sister when they parted ways…”

Parted ways, or rather, when she ran off Naoetsu High’s athletic field, as the two never met back up after that.

I still felt guilt over being complicit in a lie told to a junior who’d done so much for me, but I guess you could say I kind of found it hard to believe it’d be a good thing for Kanbaru to learn she counted someone like Miss Gaen as a close relative…

“Not to mention, I never did figure out why Miss Gaen wanted Kanbaru for that job in the first place─she contributed a lot, but to say Miss Gaen planned for that to happen would be a little─”

“I think it was all in her plan. But,” Ogi said, cracking a suggestive smile. “Her plan contained some miscalculations─in fact, I’m the result of just that.”

“Huh?”

“No, we can talk about that next volume, which is to say next time. This was a lot to digest─I’d like to take a little recess first.”

Though it might be more of the type you get in court than the one you get at school, Ogi added as she stood.

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but we were talking in my room.

Koyomi’s room, located on the second floor of the Araragi residence.

The date─March thirteenth.

The morning of my college exams.

My memory isn’t entirely clear as to why my junior came to my room to play early in the morning the day of my exams, but I just about don’t care at this point when it comes to Ogi.

See her as someone who came and went as she pleased.

If I were to wake up and find her sleeping in my bed, I wouldn’t be surprised.

“A court case, huh? I wonder how many years I’m gonna get.”

“Who knows. You might even get the death sentence,” Ogi joked─wait, what about that is a joke? “Well, I’ll be heading home for the day. Let’s meet again if you’re still alive.”

“Yeah… Be careful on your way back, Ogi.”

“You know I will be,” she said and began to leave my room, but as she touched the doorknob, she turned back.

“One more thing,” she said. “Did Miss Shinobu end up eating all of her first thrall?”

“Hm? Um… Didn’t I already say she did?”

“No leftovers?”

“Yeah, no leftovers─”

“Not even the armor?”

“!”

“Not just all the ‘bad things,’ that aberrational kindling that came flooding forth─but each of those pieces of armor he took off in the midst of your duel… Did she remember to clean her plate and eat all that as well?”

“…She did.”

I think─or maybe not─but─I gave a tapering reply.

I didn’t remember.

It seemed impossible that she wouldn’t, given the way everything went…and even then, that suit may have been one thing when it appeared on its own at the abandoned cram school, but it couldn’t have been anything more than armor by the end, right?

I glanced at my own shadow before asking a question in return.

“Is that something we had to do?”

“Maybe you had to, or maybe you didn’t. But I do think you should have,” Ogi said with a grin.

As if we were discussing nothing of importance, and she was only chatting with a favorite senpai. She always kept up that stance.

“After all─wasn’t that armor also the first Aberration Slayer’s flesh and blood, his bone and body? If you melted it down and forged it anew, you might be able to make yet another one, right? A new─enchanted blade Kokorowatari.”

Or, with luck, even better. The short sword Yumewatari as well─Ogi said.

…Yumewatari?

What was that again? I’d heard the name before.

The companion blade to Kokorowatari or something? But it too had been lost four hundred years ago…and Shinobu didn’t keep it in her body, either… Hmm?

A replica?

“If I was Miss Gaen, I would have gathered the armor before Miss Shinobu could eat it─who knows, maybe that’s why she called li’l Episode there. I wouldn’t go so far as to compare it to The North Wind and the Sun, but you could kind of say that the rules of the duel were such that they’d nudge the first Aberration Slayer into taking off his armor… Anyway, I’m just saying there’s room to imagine. What do you think, Araragi-senpai? I would like to hear your thoughts.”

“Why would Miss Gaen do that? I think Shinobu just ate the armor, anyway. Yeah, I’m pretty certain she did.”

“I see, I see. If you imagine she did, then I’m sure that’s how it went─there’s nothing more reliable than your imagination, after all. My goodness, I’m sorry for asking you so many questions. You must be feeling down after all of that.”

“Of course not. I had fun talking to you. I feel like I’ll be able to sit down with a good attitude as I take those exams.”

“Is that so─well, hearing that makes me feel good too. Okay, then why don’t I answer just one more of your questions. It’s the least I could do.”

“My questions? What─question do I have?”

“Seishiro Shishirui,” Ogi said. “The full name of the first Aberration Slayer. Don’t you want to know the name of your rival in love?”

Then she left my room. The gentlemanly thing to do was to follow her to the front door rather than ignore her, but his full name, tossed suddenly my way, robbed me of the opportunity to do so.

…

Seishiro Shishirui… He even had a cool name?

Forget being disgusted, I felt defeated…

Being able to face my exams with a good attitude wasn’t at all an empty compliment, but she’d thrown one huge bombshell my way at the end there.

Good god…

And I mean that to the point that I felt like paying a visit to a shrine─while I thought I could at least skip out on the chore today of all days, Ogi’s early morning, or rather, dawn visit left me with some time on my hands. Maybe I’d go up to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine before heading to the exam site… Even a godless shrine would at least be good for some luck, right?

With this in mind, I began getting ready to leave.

Shinobu had made a full recovery by now, which is to say she’d returned to being nocturnal, so she was sleeping in my shadow─though it did seem like Ogi had timed her visit to line up that way.

I finished getting dressed (I was in my pajamas until now. The ones Hanekawa wore in August) and stepped out into the hall, only to find Ononoki just standing there.

She was still in her nightclothes.

One of Tsukihi’s yukatas, baggily draped over her body.

No, judging by the bath towel on her wet hair, it looked like she’d just finished her morning shower─the classic tween girl fresh out of the bath in her yukata. Her skin smooth and glossy despite being a corpse.

…Hold on, she was freeloading in our home under the pretense of being my little sisters’ doll. Shouldn’t she be acting a little more doll-like?

Why was she just living here out in the open?

“I just so happened to overhear you.”

“Again?”

“Don’t worry. I avoided contact with her. I clung to the ceiling and ran off when she passed by. Like Spider-man. Being a spy and all.”

“I feel like that’d only make you stand out more if you did it in a regular home… Wait, what? Are you a spy hiding here in my home?”

“You act a little loose around her, monstieur─aren’t you being too loose-lipped?”

“Really? I don’t feel that way. If anything, I worry that I’m not getting across what I want to say because I’m always covering up the parts that need to be concealed.”

“If it’s fine with you, that’s all that matters.”

“I was thinking of heading to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine now, would you want to come along?”

“Where’s that?”

“Don’t forget something like that. You forget way too much, you know. The place where your master went missing.”

“Ah…the temple in Asakusa.”

“No, that’s Sensoji. Just how bad is your memory?”

“I’m not going on an early morning date with you either way. Sensoji. Er, sen-sorry. There’s something I’d like you to tell me, though.”

“What is it?”

Her horrible memory, or rather, incredible forgetfulness aside, living in my home had seemed to bring some stability to her character and personality (I think it was Karen and Tsukihi’s influence, unfortunately). I had zero objections to answering one of her questions, but not knowing what she might possibly ask, I did feel a sudden nervousness.

There wasn’t much surprising about the question she asked, though─in fact, it felt similar to another one I remembered hearing before.

Of course, the target of that question was a lost young girl, Mayoi Hachikuji.

“Are you happy now that you’re a vampire, monstieur?”

“…”

“Well, what I mean by that─the first Aberration Slayer said that, didn’t he? He asked what good it did him for you to be together with Shinobu-sensei─and you weren’t able to provide him a single positive. Do you still feel that way? Do you still think that you being with her makes no one happy?”

“…”

I had no clue what happened to turn her into the kind of person who called Shinobu sensei─but I did understand what she wanted to ask.

As someone created as an immortal aberration─as an artificial aberration, Ononoki wanted above all else to know how I approached being immortal, being an aberration. These were the few and unshakable elements of her identity.

And so I needed to give her a sincere answer.

“I still do.”

“…”

“It’s never going to make anyone happy, and we’re never going to be happy. All it does is bring trouble to everyone for me to be a vampire, to be with Shinobu─and it brings the most misery of all to Shinobu.”

But I.

Even if I make her more miserable than anyone.

Even if it makes me more miserable than anyone─still want to be with Shinobu.

“It does kind of sound like an excuse, though,” Ononoki said, expressionless. “Like, give us a break because we won’t be happy, find it in you to forgive us because we won’t try to be happy, just overlook us, won’t you. Like you’re telling everyone, don’t criticize us, just look at how miserable we are, don’t you feel bad for us? Monstieur, isn’t it possible that you think you’re making the best of it when in reality you’ve only contented yourself with misery and misfortune?”

“Hm?”

“The rest of the world would call that not doing anything─constant indolence. You’d better not think that people will forgive you just because you’re miserable. Just because it’s over for you doesn’t mean you should drop out. You need to try to make it to that happy end. Should I step on your face again?”

“You’re pretty harsh, Ononoki.”

Wasn’t she going to give me her support as I readied myself to take these exams that my entire future rode on? Though maybe that’s what she meant by hoping for people’s forgiveness.

“Staying miserable is negligence, and not trying to become happy is cowardice. Are you really going to let your predecessor and his suicide be for naught?” asked Ononoki, before turning around and heading to my, or rather, my sisters’ room.

“Yeah, I hear you,” I said to her back.

No one is happy now.

Not me, not Shinobu, no one.

I still think that─I still think it.

But who knows? Maybe far off in the distant future, four hundred years from now, say, I may have changed my mind somewhat.

After all, even if we aren’t happy, we’re oh-so-lucky to have more time than we know what to do with. At least we have time. To think, to live─far more than enough of it, enough for corpses to rot and turn to dust.

But maybe it was only a matter of time before even that time was up.