Monogatari Series - Volume 17 - Chapter 3.03

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After two years of absence stemming from the Year 1 Class 3 meeting held on July fifteenth, former class president Sodachi Oikura had at last, whether because the time was right or in spite of it all, returned to school, only to stop coming again the next day. She didn’t come the next day, or the day after that─which is to say she’d gone back to being absent from school. No, she hadn’t even been present for classes on that first day, so the records would only show an uninterrupted streak of absence. If you witnessed the incident that occurred early that fateful morning, her resumed absence was the result of her delirious behavior─this in no way precludes casting doubt on the view that it was my fault, but unfortunately, there were also witnesses to the violence wrought by Senjogahara’s fist. The quick thinking that led to her collapsing on the spot somehow managed to keep her out of trouble, but it was only a stopgap measure─though of course, Oikura had been the one to strike first.

Just as I’d hoped, no one was sure if she’d stabbed the back of my hand with a ballpoint pen. But if a girl resuming her absence after finally returning to school ever got connected to a grand brawl, it was sure to become an issue.

While free-spirited and uncontrollable students like Kanbaru obscure the fact, Naoetsu High is in general a full-fledged prep school, meaning it is exceptionally strict when it comes to scandals.

In other words, Sodachi Oikura taking off from school again also endangered Hitagi Senjogahara’s position to some degree, since the situation now involved her─though of course, we’re talking about a clever girl here.

Keenly aware of the disquieting mood at school, she hadn’t returned since that day either. Senjogahara took a leave of absence (?) in synch with Oikura. The stated reason was probably anemia, or perhaps minor fracturing (from hitting Oikura with her fist), but as far as people like Hanekawa and I, with our deep understanding of Senjogahara, were concerned, she was one hundred percent faking it.

She’d lived thinking only about her own self-protection once upon a time─though the old Senjogahara would never confront Oikura and precipitate such a commotion, not even by accident.

Whatever the case, it looked like one of those situations where no one involved in a fight is truly innocent. Senjogahara succeeded in making it hard for outside parties to comment, for which I commend her─but you could also call it reaping what you sow.

Anyway, Oikura had stopped coming to school, and so had Senjogahara. On the second day, class president Tsubasa Hanekawa decided to act.

“Miss Senjogahara could lose her recommendation at this rate,” she cautioned me.

“Wait… Why? You mean her college recommendation, right? Due to a violent scandal?”

“Nope, that’s not why. She managed to make both sides look guilty─but simply as a matter of attendance. She might not be as bad as you, but she’s taking a lot of days off.”

“Oh, I guess so…”

Come to think of it, her attendance rate during her first and second years could hardly be worse. It was of course because of her so-called illness, so while she’d returned to living like a regular high school student since May─

“She was sick with the flu or something in August when you weren’t around. I’m sure she’d have no trouble at all getting in by way of exams even if her recommendation got rescinded, but a canceled recommendation is a fairly big deal that could have repercussions for our juniors─we need to solve this problem.”

We.

That included me.

Already.

“Okay, but how? Do we go to Senjogahara’s, tell her she has to stop pretending to be sick, and drag her out of bed?”

Not that she’d be cooped up, since it was a feigned illness. Judging from the less-than-perfect lies she always told, she could be out shopping.

She really did worry me in so many ways.

“It’s not just Miss Senjogahara─we need to be worried about Miss Oikura, too.”

“Oikura?”

“Yes. Miss Oikura, too─aren’t you worried about her?”

“…”

Hearing a statement that certain made it hard to contradict…but to be honest, I didn’t know if worried summed up everything I felt about Oikura.

Not to say it didn’t affect me to know that she’d gone back to being a “shut-in”─but I didn’t know how to approach her when I thought about the relationship between us that I’d uncovered the other day.

It felt too late to thank her or apologize to her─okay, that was nothing more than a convenient excuse. If I’m being honest, it felt awkward and shameful, and that was the real reason I didn’t want to have to face her.

You often hear people say you ought to live your life looking to the future, not the past.

You can’t change the past, but you can alter the future.

That kind of thing.

Absolutely, yes, it’s exactly as they say─but facing the future in order to turn away from the past didn’t feel like looking ahead, it felt backwards.

A negative way to be forward-looking.

We ought to live looking both to the future and the past─and I was a man as far removed from that as you could get.

Whether I faced the past or the future, my eyes were shut as I tried to maintain the status quo.

That’s who I was.

“Yeah, I guess I’m worried,” I ended up saying.

The words must have sounded reluctant.

Or rather, objectionable and offensive.

“But it’s like I told you yesterday─I’m at a point where I even think it might be better if I don’t bother her right now. It does concern me that she’s stopped coming to school again, but I have to admit, some part of me feels relieved.”

“Coming out and saying that is fine, you know,” Hanekawa approved with forced cheer.

Since both parties involved in the incident weren’t coming to school, some of the fallout was starting to come the class president’s way─which did make her look exhausted, but here she was, as plucky as ever.

“It’s okay to say that. No one’s going to hear that and think you’re trying to gloss over the situation─and it’s not as if keeping up appearances is the only thing that matters.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

I wasn’t thanking her so much as I was being honest with her─Tsubasa Hanekawa was always there to mend my heart whenever it neared its breaking point. In fact, that’s how it’s been since spring break.

This whole time.

“Hanekawa, if you have some kind of idea, I’ll help out, of course. Whatever it is you have planned, it did come from your brain. Are you basically plotting to get them to make up?”

“Mmh. Mmmm─making up might be a little too much to ask. Especially out of the blue… They did have a fistfight. The old Miss Senjogahara might have been fine with it, but I don’t know about now.”

“Yeah…not now,” I agreed.

In fact, I started to feel embarrassed about asking a stupid question─this was actually an instance where Senjogahara’s reformation acted as a negative. You might not expect it, but the number of instances was a lot higher than one.

It was at times like these when I felt that the old Hitagi Senjogahara, tense and thinking only of her own self-protection, was really gone. You could say she’d left it up to me to figure out a plan and clean up after her mess, but she was also just staying away from school because something happened there that bothered her.

It wasn’t stubbornness or strategy.

Really, she was being a regular girl.

A high school girl.

But if you were defining her that way, you needed to see Oikura in the same light.

It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.

Given our history, I couldn’t help but be biased and prejudiced and see Oikura’s actions as being exceptional and out of the ordinary. I couldn’t prevent myself from finding some kind of deeper meaning in what she did, but I also needed to step away from our connection─however impossible it was to forget─and look at her as a fellow classmate.

Which meant I couldn’t just neglect her.

“So, Araragi. My plan is to go for a home visit after school today─to visit both Miss Senjogahara and Miss Oikura.”

“Hm?” I replied, caught unawares.

It seemed like a natural guess as to where the conversation would go next, or a natural turn even if I didn’t guess it. I was more surprised than I needed to be.

I shouldn’t have been hm-ing this late in the day.

“If it’s Miss Oikura’s address you’re wondering about, I got it from our homeroom teacher─but this is where we get to what I wanted to discuss,” Hanekawa said, intimating that the class president and vice president visiting the two at home to resolve this situation was a predetermined procedure and path open to no discussion whatsoever. “We’re so short on time that I thought we could split the work─who would you rather visit? Miss Senjogahara or Miss Oikura?”

“…”

“I’ll leave it up to you.”

The question was like some kind of psychological game.

But it was no game at all and didn’t involve logic─only my psyche.