Monogatari Series - Volume 17 - Chapter 2.08

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Five years ago.

In other words, the kind of person Koyomi Araragi was in his first year of middle school─to be honest, I’m not certain, but I doubt he was as twisted as I am now. A straightforward, pure, earnest, so-called regular kid.

The kind of regular kid you can find anywhere.

Liar, you might be saying, but really, that’s how most children are before they hit their rebellious phase, before their voice changes─and I was no exception. I did of course think I was special, because who doesn’t think that about themselves, but in hindsight, yes─I was a plain kid, the kind you can find anywhere. The common child, distributed far and wide across Japan.

Although young, banal Araragi never imagined he’d be attacked by a vampire and gain immortality, if he were to pick out something special about himself, both of his parents were police officers─who made peace, justice, and safety their principles. And it was under their influence that his personality developed.

That he was reared.

Inevitably─or because his parents’ methods were successful up to that point─young Araragi had a relatively strong sense of right and wrong.

Yes.

As much as I hate to admit it, I was a righteous middle schooler on par with my lovable little sisters who profess to be defenders of justice─though I never had their kind of perilous drive, nor a violent streak (Karen) or a strategic mind (Tsukihi). Furthermore, while they operate as a unit, I acted on my own. To compare us to superheroes, they were a team of transforming rangers, while I was like Kamen Rider.

I’d love the Fire Sisters a little more if they were at least Pretty Cures─love them more than I should, but in any case, my dispute with the Fire Sisters’ activities in the name of justice, the reason I can’t help but take a negative view, has at least a little to do with the fact that they remind me of my old self.

A case of like repelling like─of blood making you sicker than water.

A stew of love and hate.

No, maybe it’s simple jealousy─that they still believe in the kind of righteousness and justice that vanished in me as a high school freshman.

Those two are able to believe that there are things in this world that are right, and just, regardless of perspective, no matter how many people try to say otherwise─still straightforward, pure, and earnest.

Unlike me.

Very unlike me.

I’m sure they’ll run into the same wall someday, and when they do, I need to absorb as much of the shock as possible, as their older brother, as their forebear and forerunner, but that was yet to be─I need to be talking about the past now.

About five years ago.

Back when his parents were still raising their son successfully, young Koyomi Araragi became a middle school student without incident, diligently applying himself to academic pursuits. Yet one day, around the time that first term was coming to an end, he found himself a little fretful. Maybe not a little, but quite fretful─the final exam he’d just gotten back indicated less than satisfactory results.

They weren’t downright tragic, but he could see what it foreshadowed─understood better than anyone else.

He was in trouble if this continued.

He was in the danger zone.

In other words, as he rose from elementary to middle school, so did the level of his courses, and he was starting to have trouble keeping up. Still, midterms had been like an extension of his elementary classes.

Once finals rolled around, however, it was as if his courses had finished warming up and started to get serious─especially math.

As the name changed from “Arithmetic” to “Mathematics,” the difficulty spiked an incredible degree, and it now stood in young Araragi’s way.

Today, after having tasted much more of what life has to offer, both the sweet and the bitter, I might brush it off, switch gears, and decide to work harder next term and not take it as some dire omen. But this was five years ago, before my personality was twisted─you could say we’re talking about a Koyomi Araragi back when he lacked flexibility.

He was in trouble if this continued, he thought─he wouldn’t be able to stick to what’s right. While not so cornered as to use those precise words, the idea that he wouldn’t be able to accomplish the righteous act that is learning was more embarrassing to him than any score.

I know I just used the phrase back when his parents were still raising their son successfully, but you could say their methods had failed at this point─doggedly emphasizing what’s right might produce a child that does no wrong, but he also can’t excuse failure. When he fails, he blames himself more than necessary and has trouble getting back up─that’s the kind of child you end up with. And in fact, that’s what happened to me during my first year of high school, and here we are.

Not that I resent my parents, how could I? Yes, there are still some negative feelings between us, and they’re still very worried, but at least they support me now that I’ve gotten back on my feet thanks to Hanekawa and Senjogahara. As far as how they chose to raise their children, they seem to have learned from their mistakes and made course corrections for my two little sisters, so why say anything now?

But─how did my righteousness-revering heart not break until July fifteenth of my first year in high school? How did my poor score not shatter it to pieces during my first year of middle school? It was because my shoe locker contained three envelopes as I left school.

a, b, c.

Like that.

Three envelopes marked with handwritten alphabetic letters.

Please don’t condemn him for this, but young Araragi thought they were love letters at first. He thought his box contained three love letters. Look at that, he thought, the girls love me─such is the mind of a first-year middle schooler.

Despite the presence of the first three letters of the alphabet, it was enough to make him forget about his poor score for a moment. But then he noticed that the three markings and the “To Araragi” had the same handwriting, belonging to one person. He tilted his head.

Why would anyone leave three letters in his shoebox? There was no logical reason, which is to say, this situation was far from right, and he was confused.

His confusion only lasted until he opened envelope a─after reading the note found therein, he saw that it was some sort of quiz.

I didn’t know about the Monty Hall problem then, but when it was thrust upon me, it piqued my interest. My interest, or maybe my curiosity─after thinking it over a bit, I opened envelope c.

I hadn’t changed my selection from a to c after calculating the probabilities and determining that it was the optimal choice─young Araragi was no genius. I just had the vague notion that if someone gave me this problem, changing my answer seemed like the right thing to do. I opened envelope c as if I were following the questioner’s intent.

The quiz could betray that authorial intent, as the real Monty Hall problem did─and my reasoning may not have been praiseworthy, but ultimately, I made the right choice. You could also say it didn’t matter either way. Unable to keep myself from opening both envelopes in the end, I’d have headed to the location indicated on the map in envelope c no matter what.

Why obey the instructions in a letter from an unknown sender and take a detour on my way home from school? I have no logical explanation for my unsafe decision─thinking about it now, I probably should have ignored such a bizarre piece of correspondence.

But I.

Koyomi Araragi wanted to know.

It was curiosity.

He was curious about the curious.

He had a love for it.

It’s not as if he knew the intent behind the quiz or what the missive meant, yet─that was the exact reason he wanted to know.

The intent, the meaning.

His youthful intellectual curiosity led him to an abandoned home in a residential development─a new area for him, so young Araragi had no idea such ruins were hidden within.

Its appearance frightened him, of course.

He wanted to leave at once─the ruins were irrationally scary. No sign reading “No Trespassing” hung there, but he still thought it was a place he shouldn’t enter. An abandoned building wouldn’t scare me these days, now that I’ve gotten used to that former cram school, but this was a first-year middle schooler─young Araragi didn’t have the mental fortitude to endure such a solo test of courage.

As a boy who revered righteousness and believed in justice, he hated evil and wouldn’t hesitate to battle it (I now blush to recall). At the same time, he didn’t have the strength of heart to face his fear or this darkness.

The boy who claimed that right was unconditionally right also found the scary to be unconditionally scary.

The story would end there had he gone home, but that’s not what happened─very fortunately for me.

“You came, Araragi.”

And.

A lone girl appeared from the ruins.

She appeared.

“If you’re here, does that mean you solved the quiz?”

“…”

He was silent because he was stunned. For a sweet young girl to emerge from a crumbling, abandoned building was such a fantastic, even perverted sight that it felt unreal to him─leaving him speechless.

Had he wandered into another dimension, he even wondered.

The girl seemed fragile to the point of transparency─like a ghost.

And that’s why.

Koyomi Araragi decided to call the abandoned home─a haunted house.

“The question. I…”

Sure enough.

Forgetting even to keep up any childish appearances, I gave this girl, who seemed to be the letters’ sender, an honest answer.

“I didn’t solve it. I changed my answer, but I don’t know why c was right…”

“I see.”

The girl didn’t seem disappointed to hear that I’d answered based on a hunch. She only smiled.

She looked so happy as she smiled.

“Then we can start by analyzing the problem. Come in, Araragi.”

“What?”

“Let’s study. Why don’t we get smarter together?”