Monogatari Series - Volume 13 - Chapter 1.35

035

The first time I met Hitagi Senjogahara─two years ago, in other words─I thought to myself, What a fragile-seeming kid.

Of course, back then Senjogahara was afflicted with her mysterious ailment, which is why her devout mother had summoned me, flying the flag of the ghostbuster as I was. But even without the ailment business, I thought she seemed “fragile.”

That impression hadn’t changed.

Fragile.

Even now that her ailment had been cured, even though she had a boyfriend, even though she had turned over a new leaf─she seemed “fragile.” If Nadeko Sengoku was a “broken” girl, Hitagi Senjogahara was a “breakable” girl.

Fragile, on the edge of fragmentation.

Which is exactly why her current self was a miracle. A mysterious ailment followed by a miraculous achievement─for someone who seemed so breakable to make it so far without ever breaking, not two years ago, not now, for eighteen years─

The mother broke.

But the daughter didn’t─whatever the future might bring, at least right then, at that moment, she would not break.

Because I was going to hoodwink Nadeko Sengoku.

“Here’s Nadeko!”

As I inserted a 10,000-yen bill into the offertory box, Nadeko Sengoku made the same entrance she’d made every day for the last month─at this point I was tired of her funny pose, a little fed up with it.

At the same time, when I thought that I’d never see her again, I felt strangely wistful.

No, hang on. Although I did go and check out of the hotel, since I’d told her it would be a hundred-day pilgrimage, shouldn’t I actually visit for another seventy days? If I pulled an Irish Goodbye right after feeding my lie to her, the perceived reliability of the info might plummet.

Hmm…maybe not another seventy days, but how about thirty─whoa, whoa, whoa.

As if I was really reluctant to say goodbye to Nadeko Sengoku. As if I’m the type who doesn’t know when to pull out, to bow out…

Definitely best to call it quits today.

Sure, it might be better to keep visiting, but the more contact we had, the more likely that my lie would be exposed. And once she heard the shocking news that her “beloved Big Brother Koyomi” had died before she could lift a finger, I’d immediately become irrelevant, no doubt.

“Wow! Ten thousand yen, ten thousand yen!”

“…”

I was somewhat tired of Nadeko Sengoku’s eccentric behavior, but she evidently wasn’t tired of a 10,000-yen offering, and rejoiced as always.

Well, loving money is good and honest.

At that point, though, the total was over three hundred thousand yen, so she was quite an expensive woman─

I couldn’t just get down to business right away, so I spent a while playing at cat’s cradle and feeding her saké as usual.

Then, just as I was looking for an opening, Nadeko Sengoku struck: “Oh yeah! Mister Kaiki!” The bridge shape I’d been making with the string in my hands collapsed, but Nadeko Sengoku plunged ahead without even noticing. “It’s about time, let’s hear it!”

I had no idea what she had in mind─a new cat’s cradle technique? I’d shown her all the ones I knew, that well had run dry…

But that wasn’t what Nadeko Sengoku was talking about.

What she was talking about, what she was demanding to hear, was my dear wish, for which I was willing to perform a hundred-day pilgrimage.

“Right…my wish.”

“Yeah! It seems like Nadeko’s just getting a bunch of money, and that’s not fair! Nadeko only just became a god, so who knows if I can grant your wish, but come on, Mister Kaiki, at least say what it is!”

“…”

Ouch. I’d forgotten about it. I hadn’t even thought about it─having put it off for so long, not intending to complete the pilgrimage in the first place, I was stumped. Did I say something about commercial prosperity? I never should have. There was no way I could tell her the particulars of my business.

I felt like she’d found the chink in my armor─what to do?

Still empty of ideas, I said, “The thing about wishes is that they can’t come true if you share them with someone,” just to keep the conversation going. Inside, I was working feverishly to find a way to weasel out of my plight, though I’m sure I displayed no outward change.

“Huh?” Nadeko Sengoku cocked her head. “What d’you mean?”

“You’ll be the one to decide how things are done here from now on, but─in the case of New Year’s shrine visits, for example, your wish is something you don’t tell anybody. If you do, it can’t come true.”

“Why won’t your wish come true if you tell it to somebody?”

“Because words can’t be trusted.” I bet there’s a more pious explanation, but I decided to go with my pet theory─unprepared as I’d been for Nadeko Sengoku’s surprise attack, I’d use it as an opportunity to get down to the real reason for my visit. “The second you say it out loud to someone, it deviates from your true feelings. All words are lies, it’s all a scam. No matter how true, the moment you utter it, it becomes embellished. Words are only representations, so impurities find their way in. If you want to make a wish, to make it exactly as it is, you absolutely mustn’t say it out loud.”

“Okay, but,” she asked confusedly, “how can Nadeko grant your wish without knowing what it is? Plus, Nadeko’s talked out loud about her wishes a whole lot.”

Got her. I’d been afraid she might miss the point I was nudging her towards, but apparently she was at least that clever. Maybe she was smarter than a ladybug, after all.

“Nadeko’s been talking all along─about killing Big Brother Koyomi, and that person who’s his sweetheart, and the one who’s his slave.”

“Yes, you have. Which is why…” I mustered all the artistry and embellishment at my command to speak the false, empty words I’d prepared for her. “That wish won’t be granted. You talked so much about it, it can no longer come true.”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about today. That’s what I’ve come to tell you. The people you want to kill, Koyomi Araragi, and Hitagi Senjogahara, and Shinobu Oshino─they all died last night in a car accident.”

Nadeko Sengoku’s eyes widened in surprise.

The eyes of the hundred thousand snakes on her head also widened─then.

With an enchanted smile, she said, “You, too, Mister Kaiki? You’d trick ‘me.’”