Monogatari Series - Volume 13 - Chapter 1.33

033

“I see. So today’s the day, at last.”

“Yeah, at last is right.”

Before leaving the hotel, I placed an early-morning phone call to Senjogahara─winter break was over, and third term had begun. Which is why I had to call early in the morning─though Senjogahara, who was in her final year, didn’t actually have to show up every day.

She’s serious about the oddest things. A serious, odd girl is what she is.

“Is it going to be okay? I’m kind of tense.”

“Don’t be,” I said in a calm voice. Naturally, I felt a certain tension as well when I thought the job was coming to an end─to fruition. Remaining calm was the mature thing to do, though. “I’ll call you tonight to give my final report─all you have left to do is prepare for a celebratory toast with Araragi.”

“A toast…” I don’t know what was going on in Senjogahara’s head, but the words came out like a sigh. Not like the tension or strain was getting to her─she just seemed kind of listless. What was up with her?

Slightly concerned, I asked, “Did something happen?”

Had the circumstances changed this close to the finish line? That happens all the time, in fact. That’s work for you. It’s always, and I do mean always, right before the finish line that everything goes belly up.

“No…it’s just… Realizing that I’m only going to talk to you one more time after this makes me feel a little blue,” Senjogahara lamented, clearly insincerely.

Somewhat insulted that she thought she could fool me like that, I returned, “I feel the same way. Being in frequent touch with you really brought me back, it was a real pleasure,” with equal insincerity.

It was more like insensitivity in my case.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if she hung up on me (It had happened plenty of times over the last month. I’d hang up on her, she’d hang up on me─how did we ever get to today without the job getting cancelled?), but Senjogahara just chuckled, “Heheh.”

It gave me the creeps. She wasn’t much of a laugher─or no, was that assessment two years out of date?

She was different now, more so than if she were a different person altogether.

“Of course I’ll raise a toast with Araragi, but Kaiki, do I need to do something to show my appreciation? Should we meet one last time?”

“No need, lay off the bad jokes. Thanks to Gaen-senpai, I don’t have to bill you for expenses and am coming out ahead, there’s no reason to show me any gratitude… Oh, and this isn’t a follow-up or anything, but Senjogahara.”

“What?”

“Do you remember what we said at the beginning of January? Let me remind you just in case: give Araragi strict instructions. He might be busy right now with exam prep, but if he waltzes up to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine to see Nadeko Sengoku after I’ve duped her─everything will go to shit.”

“Yeah, about that…” Senjogahara already seemed to have the issue in mind, and she sounded troubled. “It’s gonna be a real problem. Leveling with him means fessing up that you were involved… It could make him that much more stubborn about going up to see Nadeko Sengoku.”

“He’s your boyfriend. So if it comes to it, seriously, play up to him and persuade him with some line about just doing it for your sake, or having to choose between you and her.”

“Don’t you get it? If I could, my life wouldn’t have turned out this way.”

Fair enough. But with their lives on the line, couldn’t she pull together such a performance, even if it was hard?

“It’s not an issue of can or can’t. Even if I did, Araragi wouldn’t buy it. I’m an excellent performer, but if I do that out of nowhere, it’s going to seem blatantly unnatural.”

“Sure. So don’t do it out of nowhere. Just like I spent all of January buttering up Nadeko Sengoku, take February to butter up Araragi.”

“Butter up…” echoed Senjogahara, disgustedly. “Any relationship is just a game to you, I take it.”

“I don’t play games,” I denied without a moment’s hesitation, but depending on how you looked at it, our conversation itself was a sort of game. I’d groomed myself to be someone who couldn’t be gamed, but that didn’t necessarily mean I didn’t play games. “Anyway, at this point the time constraints have been lifted. If you want to rescue Nadeko Sengoku, it’s not too late to do it once you guys are in college.”

I was of course keeping my meeting with Hanekawa secret from Senjogahara, but I had her words in mind as I continued, “So if you really can’t persuade Araragi, then dream up any old reason for him not to go near the mountain. Your lives depend on it, so get it done.”

“You’re right… Our lives depend on it.”

Yes. Senjogahara’s life was on the line, and so was Araragi’s─whatever she tried, it wouldn’t be in bad faith.

Or would it? Should lovers keep no secrets for any reason?

I had no idea. I really didn’t.

“Hey, Senjogahara, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“What do you love about Araragi?”

“That he isn’t you.” Maybe she thought this was clever and sarcastic, but the basis for her selection of a lover seemed to be centered on me, if only via a process of elimination, and she corrected herself: “Because he’s Araragi. If Araragi wasn’t Araragi, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.”

“You’ve lost me,” I said. “You’re so passionate about him, so into him you’re willing to sacrifice your life on his behalf, but I bet you’ll break up when you get to college.”

“…”

“Or maybe once you graduate from college. High-school couples don’t usually make it all the way to the altar. It’s just bullshit puppy love.”

“I’m going to let that one slide… Even I’m not so reckless as to pull the rug out from under everything at this point. But will you at least tell me why you’re being so mean?”

I was genuinely surprised to hear her respond with such an admirable attitude instead of a retort. And since she’d asked, why was I being so mean to a high school kid?

Whether it was puppy love or not, if they were enjoying themselves, then wasn’t that good enough? Why was I throwing shade on their romance?

Wasn’t it like telling a kindergartner playing house in the sandbox, “Married life isn’t really like that”?

I was ashamed of myself, so I cut the conversation short without addressing her question.

“Anyway, congrats. I’m glad you and your beloved Araragi will make it through this in one piece.”

“Aren’t you being a little hasty? Or do you just have that much confidence in yourself? If something goes wrong today then the whole thing has gone wrong. You can’t possibly think you’ve already succeeded?”

“I can.”

Running the simulation in my head one more time, I felt even more confident than before that convincing Nadeko Sengoku would be a piece of cake. I wasn’t letting my guard down, and I guess I was kind of tense, but there was no need to tell Senjogahara.

“Don’t worry. By the time you get home from school, everything will be taken care of.”

“I see… Well then.” I assumed that meant she was about to hang up, but Senjogahara kept on talking. “Saying this after you’ve succeeded, after you’ve saved me, would be nasty, so I’m going to say it now, if you don’t mind.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t start feeling too good about yourself just because you’ve saved my life.”

“…”

“I mean, of course I’ll be grateful, of course I’ll thank you, and if you change your mind and want more money, I’ll pay. I’ll do whatever you say. I just don’t want you to think that this means I’ve forgotten about what you did to me. Because I’ll hold it against you for the rest of my life. I’ll always detest you. And h-hate you.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded, but only ambiguously. Why was she stating the obvious? Was it really something that needed to be said for the record?

I didn’t get her.

At all.

Though upon reflection, she’d been this way ever since I’d known her.

“And the promise is still in effect,” she reminded. “When this is over, you’ll never set foot in this town again. Don’t ever let me, Araragi or me, see your face again.”

“Sure, I’ve never broken a promise,” I maintained.

To which Senjogahara replied tonelessly, “That’s right, isn’t it. You’ve never once lied to me, not now, not ever.”