Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 9 - Chapter 3

Since We Want to Beat the Archfiend

The Archfiend Pam Investigation Team had been formed in order to successfully beat the Archfiend—a goal no one had ever accomplished before. However, nobody except for their ringleader, the digital fairy Fav, knew the team’s true purpose.

Fav sought to make his favorite magical girl, Cranberry, an examiner for magical-girl exams, and beating the Archfiend was for that purpose.

Normally, only veteran magical girls could be examiners. A newbie would never earn the post simply by being brilliant. Fav could make recommendations for new examiners, but no one would listen if you suggested a newbie. In order to break new ground and appoint a newbie as an examiner, she would need a commensurate spectacular achievement.

And that achievement was beating the Archfiend. But though they were calling it “beating the Archfiend,” the goal here was not killing her or overpowering her. Getting in one hit would be enough.

Archfiend Pam was famously powerful and could boast of combat exploits so grand that rumor had it not even one or two hundred strong could bring her down. She guided and encouraged those magical girls who were drawn by her strength, leading them to greater heights.

The popular name for that group was the Archfiend Cram School, and people said it was the first place to go for magical girls hungry for power and might. Though it was a private organization, it had become a sort of independent cooperative body. There were those in the upper ranks who saw it as dangerous, wondering if it was okay for this battle force to be consolidated in one place like that. But the Department of Diplomacy, of which Pam was a member, wrote the matter off—“It’s an extracurricular activity, so it’s no problem!”—which quelled any further comments about it. And on that day, as usual, the girls were pursuing strength and rejoicing in their youth.

There were two ways to graduate from the Archfiend Cram School.

One was to be acknowledged by the leader of the school, Archfiend Pam.

The other was to land an attack on her.

Accomplish either of these, and you would officially graduate. With the honor of an Archfiend Cram School alum in your heart, you would enter the workforce in high demand and secure the position of a career magical girl—a salaried one, at that.

There had been more than ten graduates since the Archfiend Cram School had become what it was now. However, not a single one of them had managed to graduate by landing an attack on Archfiend Pam. The graduates were all those who had been acknowledged by her. Put that another way, and they had all been incapable of beating her… These students had hung their heads, resigned in the face of the overwhelming obstacle that was Archfiend Pam.

Fav thought that maybe Cranberry could do it. If she were to combine her survival skills, physical abilities, and magic, then perhaps she could get a hit on Archfiend Pam and graduate.

To that end, Fav had used his connections and sent Cranberry into the Archfiend Cram School. Of course, he didn’t want her to work at things diligently and wait for the Archfiend to acknowledge her to graduate. Fav hated waiting around. He wanted Cranberry to be made an examiner as quickly as possible. She had to become an examiner, or there’d be no point in him having set his eye on her. He would spare no effort supporting her in this regard.

And so he had sent in a secret agent. Though the digital fairy–type mascots were given artificial personalities through magic, they weren’t actually alive. They didn’t breathe, they had no heartbeat, no body heat or sweat, and they couldn’t even make a wobble in the air.

Since Fav was a high-grade mascot for the use of masters, he couldn’t leave his supervisor phone. And as such, he had a lot of authority. Fav could summon the other digital fairy–type mascots—with the FA series at the top of the list—and send them into action. Some, he blackmailed; others owed him favors; still others he lured in with the promise of a reward. Fav had mobilized all his connections to dispatch digital fairies to the magical phones of the girls studying under Archfiend Pam.

Fav did not put magical girls on a pedestal. They were all quite human. Deep down, even the cruelest or most self-sacrificing of magical girls worried whether they looked cool.

Even Archfiend Pam—flattered and celebrated as the strongest warrior, a living legend, a magical girl capable of mass destruction—was originally just a human. Even if she didn’t have any blatant secrets like corruption, then she should have something—an embarrassing hobby, a unique fetish, something nasty she’d done in the past, maybe some sort of illicit collection. In the unlikely event that Fav couldn’t dig up any dirt on Pam, then he would sneak some in. There was something to be learned from the way corrupt cops did things, sneaking drugs into a bag that would be investigated before questioning someone.

Here in the supervisor magical phone that was Fav’s territory, there was one saved file—a video that contained the entirety of the investigation team’s research on Archfiend Pam.

Fav dived deep into the magical phone and played the video. There was a pathetic fanfare and morning sun shining in the blue sky, and the characters Archfiend Pam and the Happy Friends appeared in a thick red font, and then the screen went black.

What is this?

Had they made this into a story or something? Of course, Fav couldn’t recall ever having made such a request. So this meant the creator had done this of their own accord, as a bonus. There were rather a lot of mascot characters who would try too hard to please and lose sight of the original goal.

The scene changed, and Fav got focused. He wouldn’t overlook so much as a speck of dust from here on out.

The screen displayed a magical girl.

She wore a very skimpy bikini-style costume with four wings at her back and two black horns on her head. This was Archfiend Pam. The camera was at a low angle, so you couldn’t see her expression. Fav didn’t even know what was going on right now. He’d always thought hers was an abnormally raunchy costume, but from this angle, her boobs jiggled with every step she took. He felt like he was about to get a glimpse of something he shouldn’t be seeing.

Despite preaching high morals, the Magical Kingdom let magical girls wear getups like this. Is this not a problem? Fav wondered, privately indignant.

The screen showed movement. The frame shook, and the image blurred. He didn’t know what was going on, and the intense sounds and movements made him feel almost drunk. There were screams, then sounds of a clash. He heard a synthetic voice say, “Archfiend time: her routine morning walk. Someone barged into her moment of total peace.” Fav wondered who the speaker was; he figured they were the narrator.

The narrator continued its explanation: “If you want to graduate from the Archfiend School before completing the training period, you must land an attack on Archfiend Pam. There still has yet to be any graduate who has achieved that honor.”

Archfiend Pam kicked, punched, and beat the attacker badly. Then she dragged her up from facedown on the ground and slapped her on both cheeks, too. As the magical girl looked like she would cry, Pam lambasted her, saying, “At this point, you should have done this,” and “This was where you were weak.” She was like an ogre or a demon.

It looked like they were in a park somewhere in the Magical Kingdom, and a robed old man was sitting on a bench watching them with a smile. Apparently, this wasn’t a rare event. Archfiend Pam bowed to the old man, saying, “I apologize for the disturbance,” and then she made the magical girl who was on the verge of tears bow her head, too.

“And now let’s probe deeper into the secrets of the Archfiend.”

The scene shifted.

“All documents submitted to the Department of Diplomacy must be made according to regulation format. No exceptions, even for Archfiend Pam.”

Archfiend Pam was sitting in front of a laptop. It looked like she was working on a future training plan, but her typing was dubious. She was typing one letter at a time with the index finger of each hand, and yet still she occasionally screwed up, crying things like “Ahhh!” and “Not that one!” and stopping with remarks like “How do you erase this?” and “To go back to the previous page…” She was not making any progress.

The scene shifted.

“Changing a magical girl’s name is a real hassle. But the Archfiend does not see such matters as an issue. She must think that it’s important for students of the Archfiend Cram School to be given worthy names.”

She was reading some kind of document. It seemed to be a roster. It was enumerated with what looked like the names of magical girls.

Lake of Fire Flame Flamey, Dark Fang Limit, Azure Dragon Panas, Flower-Seller Marika Fukuroi, Twin Stars Cutie Altair, and then at the end, there was Cranberry’s name.

Archfiend Pam spent a while spinning a pencil in her right hand. Around the thirtieth spin, she stopped it flat, and then added Musician of the Forest to Cranberry’s name and nodded with satisfaction.

Fav immediately went to search the magical-girl registry. It no longer said Cranberry, but Musician of the Forest, Cranberry. The time of the change was a few days earlier. That was right after she’d entered the Archfiend School. It really had been changed. Just what was the point of that?

The scene shifted.

“A magical girl of a relatively high position must be able to make covert contact with her subordinates. Deemed necessary for that purpose, the magical phones were developed five years ago.”

The camera stared down over what looked like a meeting room, on a magical phone on a long table. A shrill alarm was ringing from the phone. Archfiend Pam didn’t cancel the noise, merely looked down at it silently, then muttered, “How do I stop it?”

How had she wound up in a situation where the alarm was ringing in the first place?

The scene shifted.

“The magical phones are wonderful items—through the installation of applications appropriate to the individual’s professional duties, they can be highly versatile. However, some magical girls are still unused to their presence.”

Archfiend Pam was staring down at the magical phone on the long table. There was a fist shape clearly dented into the screen of the phone, and it had been so badly smashed, it was impressive. The alarm was no longer ringing. Though any other functions were probably gone now, too.

The scene shifted.

“In the Archfiend Cram School, mock battles are just like real combat. They’re so intense that everyone assumes people will get injured. All this is based on Archfiend Pam’s philosophy that strength is honed on the battlefield.”

This time, it was a scene of training. The participants appeared to be engaged in a mock battle, using a deserted house standing alone in a wild plain and separated into teams of offensive and defensive sides. Fireballs, light beams, and magical girls flew every which way.

There was a pretty serious battle going on, and not too far off in the distance, you could see Archfiend Pam with her arms crossed. But something about her seemed amiss. She wouldn’t settle down. She was kind of fidgety, folding her arms the other way, then sighing. Her antsy gestures increased in frequency and speed, and then, reaching the peak, Pam leaped toward the abandoned building.

Fav was probably imagining that she’d yelled, “Let me join!”

The scene shifted.

“A computer is necessary for the submission of documents within the Department of Diplomacy, but handwritten documents are allowed when submitting a written apology to other departments.”

Archfiend Pam was facing a stack of papers. She was writing something to apply for a new magical phone. She’d filled out the lines for name and organization, but her pen was stopped on the line for the reason it had broken. Fav thought it was unnecessary to be totally honest there, though.

In the end, even when writing by hand, she was still having difficulties.

The scene shifted.

“The Archfiend always demands a clear explanation, but there aren’t very many magical girls who can always give a clear explanation.”

Magical phone in hand, Archfiend Pam was now facing a laptop. It seemed a new magical phone had safely reached her.

“It suddenly stopped converting text into Japanese characters. No, I didn’t particularly do anything odd. I was using it like I always do. Cap-slock? Just give it to me straight. I can’t understand your technical jargon. Oh, and take care of the new magical phone’s settings for me, too. Make the ringtone for emergencies the same as before.”

It seemed someone on the phone was giving her instructions, but things weren’t going like she wanted.

The scene shifted.

“The Archfiend never forgets her work, even when enjoying reading in her free time. Her diligence is an example for all to follow.”

The location had to be her private room. She was sitting on a chair, reading. The camera captured a large bookshelf that towered in one corner of the room. It featured rows of books on myths, legends, and stories of the human world. Next, the camera showed the book Archfiend Pam was reading. It was the Bible. However, she didn’t seem so religious that she’d read the Bible in her downtime. She was occasionally taking notes as she muttered things like, “I can use this term” and “I’ll make it sound cooler later.”

The scene shifted.

“The Archfiend always demands a clear explanation, but there aren’t very many computers that can always give a clear explanation.”

She was holding her head in front of a blue-screened, totally nonresponsive laptop. It looked like it had finally broken.

The scene shifted.

“She also goes to meetings. These days, a lot of mages will scowl at you simply for being a magical girl, but it seems her reception with the upper ranks isn’t so bad.”

Apparently, they were having a meeting; the room was full of important-looking people. The old man who appeared to be leading things was going on at length about something that seemed quite boring. Archfiend Pam was not among the participants. Fav was wondering exactly what was going on here when Pam walked in with a tray of steaming teacups and went around serving everyone in the room. She wore a gentle smile that was completely different from her look when training. I see—so that expression’s just another magical-girl thing. Eventually, the meeting went to a vote, and tray still in hand, Pam raised her hand in agreement. Was she taking on a service role when she was a member of this meeting?

The scene shifted.

“Now without a laptop, she couldn’t do her work. So in her determination to obtain a new work computer, the Archfiend headed to an experimental facility.”

There were stickers that said secret stuck all over the place, walls and doors included, while unknown organisms writhed in cultivation tanks and thick cables extended everywhere.

Fav could never forget this peculiar atmosphere. New products were developed every day in this experimental facility. This place was also where the digital fairy–type mascots were born.

Archfiend Pam—dressed in an incredibly suspicious getup of a black dress coat, khaki scarf, Panama hat, and sunglasses—was examining the rows of mysterious apparatuses. A magical girl in a gray workman’s jumper was explaining them with a rather proud look.

It seemed Pam had given up on acquiring legitimate equipment via letter of apology and was trying to get an acquaintance to share illegitimate equipment from the experimental facility. But wouldn’t that be even more of a hassle?

The scene shifted.

“Having successfully acquired the item she was after, the Archfiend returned. Now she should be able to manage her work flawlessly, starting tomorrow.”

She ripped open the sigil-stamped cardboard box, and cardboard scraps fluttered through the air. What appeared from within was—quite clearly—a microwave.

Hadn’t she gone to get something to replace the laptop? The woman in question was reading the microwave manual with a baffled expression. It was dubious just how much of it she understood.

Pausing the video, Fav rose up out of the magical phone. Of course, nothing had changed since he’d started watching it. He was still in Cranberry’s room.

Looking around from atop Cranberry’s bed, he saw there was no furniture. The bare concrete room was bleak—very much like Cranberry herself.

There were many things Fav wanted to say to the creator of this video, but leaving that aside, now he knew Archfiend Pam’s weakness. If they took advantage of that, surely Cranberry would win.

Fav came up with a scheme, which he discussed with Cranberry.

“So that’s the plan I came up with, pon.”

“I see. I think that might just work.”

“…You’re not going to say something like, ‘Fighting a battle with schemes is weak,’ pon?”

“She’s given us the unreasonable order of coming up with finishing move names that sound cool in both English and Japanese. It’s become rather too much of a hassle. If we can resolve this quickly, then I won’t oppose your plan.”

It seemed on her end, Cranberry was suffering, too.

Three days later, Fav was on the bed watching a new video.

“The students of the Archfiend Cram School are allowed to challenge the Archfiend at any time.”

White clouds passed through the sky, which was dotted with several birds. In a vast wasteland that stretched to the horizon, just over ten magical girls could be seen, and of them, Archfiend Pam and Cranberry were facing off, standing five and a half yards apart. Pam crouched low, bringing both hands in front of her, while Cranberry was standing casually with no affectation.

Without warning, Cranberry leaped into action. She covertly generated a sound wave, which Pam blocked with one of her wings before transforming it into a screw shape for a counterattack. Cranberry knocked aside the spinning blade with her right arm, slamming it down. Everyone in the gallery gasped.

Sound and wings clashed, evaded, and struck, and Cranberry kicked from a back-to-back position. The struggle went back and forth at a bewildering rate, attacking while defending. They jumped into the air, their heels scattering dirt and grass. Tension hung over the onlookers’ faces when the camera switched to them.

Only a split second had passed from when Cranberry had first attacked. She and Pam had to be exchanging blows at a speed that was difficult even for magical girls strong enough to train with the Archfiend Cram School to see. Now Fav thanked the consideration of the creator who had nonchalantly slowed down the play speed for the fight scenes.

At this point, the narration came in. “Those students who assumed this was just a reckless newbie challenging the Archfiend were forced to revise their assumptions. The Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, possesses physical abilities beyond those of a rookie.”

Tentacles and arms crossed, ripping through the wasteland. A black wing buckled, and blood spurted from Cranberry’s forehead. One of the audience members, a girl in a red dress, smothered a shriek.

“But even so, Cranberry does not fall.”

Her cheeks slowly rising, Archfiend Pam smiled, and at the same time, the three wings that had been protecting her back moved.

“Unease runs through the students. Archfiend Pam was going to use all her wings against a newbie magical girl who’d only recently joined the school. This had never happened before in the long history of the Archfiend Cram School.”

Cranberry dashed forward, and the moment when Archfiend Pam reacted, about to send her wings into action—

—a grating tone buzzed from the Archfiend’s magical phone. It was the emergency ring.

Archfiend Pam paused and held her hand up to Cranberry, indicating that she stop. Cranberry shrugged like she was disappointed and relaxed her stance. Pam then grabbed the magical phone hanging from her waist—and Cranberry moved. In one leap, she closed the distance, sending out her fist.

It was a surprise attack; Cranberry had merely pretended to pause the fight. Her shift from lax to tense was frighteningly swift. This move wasn’t something a regular magical girl could handle. Cranberry’s opponent wasn’t a regular magical girl, but even so, Pam would not be able to block it entirely.

The magical phone hit the ground with a clunk.

Archfiend Pam grabbed Cranberry’s clenched fist within only a hairbreadth of her face. In the same instant, a tentacle-like whip extended from her black wing and wrapped around Cranberry’s arm. But Cranberry didn’t try to dodge it—there was a light smack and Archfiend Pam was blasted backward. Right hand raised, Cranberry fell faceup onto the ground.

“That’s Cranberry’s magic. Sound moves through more than just air—It can also travel through objects. By making the Archfiend touch her fist and generating a destructive sound wave, she sent a shock passing through her body.”

Fav mentally oohed. When Cranberry used her magic to attack an opponent with sound, distance and force operated inversely. The farther away she was, the weaker the damage she could incur upon the enemy, and the closer she got, the stronger it was. After all, sound travels as a wave, and its passage through air would dampen it.

So if it didn’t pass through air, then what else could it pass through?

If she were to make contact with her opponent to send the wave directly to them through her own body, then its effects would be immense. They wouldn’t be able to react or defend themselves. But she had to have a firm and solid surface of contact with the opponent, and since it would hurt herself, too, this method couldn’t be used casually. But as long as it could work on the Archfiend as a one-time ace up her sleeve, that was enough.

The magical girls observing the spectacle were collectively holding their breath. Springing up from a backward arch, Archfiend Pam got back to her feet and rubbed her left arm, which was now limp all the way down to her fingertips. Her nails were dyed red, and two droplets of blood dripped from the ends of her fingers. An attack like that was powerful enough to break bone or tear muscle, but the fact that Pam got away with only minor damage was just plain annoying.

Then with her toe, Pam kicked up the magical phone that had fallen on the ground. It flew into the air, and she caught it with a black wing. The display was blank.

The narration started up again. “Archfiend Pam only gets an emergency call if there’s a world or two in crisis. Even if she is the great Archfiend, she won’t be able to stay calm if something that big has happened. So Cranberry used her magic to generate the sound of Pam’s emergency ring, taking advantage of the Archfiend’s distraction to make contact. The Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, is fearsome indeed.”

Archfiend Pam extended her right hand, then drew it back, offering her injured left hand instead. Cranberry’s right hand had been severely damaged by her own sound wave, its skin torn and bone poking out. Fav groaned at how painful at looked, but the magical girls of the Archfiend Cram School didn’t seem to see it as a problem.

The two magical girls exchanged a firm handshake and embraced each other.

“Thank you.”

“I acknowledge your graduation. But don’t make this the end, Musician of the Forest, Cranberry. Next time, come for pleasure. I’ll be waiting—anytime.”

One of the magical girls watching whooped for joy. More followed, one after another, and they surged toward Cranberry, mobbing her. They all extolled the newbie who had beaten the Archfiend, and even Pam herself, who never let her severe expression crumble when in training, was wearing a smile.

The video slowed down before stopping completely and then faded into black and white. The narration continued.

“Having produced a new candidate for Archfiend named Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, the Archfiend Cram School will flourish even further. The clutches of evil are reaching everywhere—yes, even right behind you.”

A strangely cheery ending theme that clashed with the narration played. Fav felt like there had been some poor communication in the production of this video. The word “Fin” appeared in the bottom-right corner of the screen, and then it went dark.

Now the Archfiend Investigation Team’s job was complete. Fav would erase all the evidence and leave no records. With a celebratory chat on IRC to finish it all off, all would be made as if it had never happened.

Fav’s thoughts had already flown to the final chat. He made up his mind to start it off by dressing down whoever had put in that narration.

Being bad with technology, she had to bring all of her strength to bear just to deal with a single magical phone. And if the situation was an emergency, then all the more so. Fav’s plan had gone well, and as a result, Cranberry had accomplished the fastest possible graduation from the Archfiend Cram School. Through this great undertaking, they had won great notoriety for the Musician of the Forest—enough that it wouldn’t be unnatural for her to be recommended as an examiner, despite being a newbie.

A few days later, Fav asked Cranberry a question. “You didn’t want to stay in the Archfiend Cram School, pon?”

“It was an amusing place, but…”

“Yeah, you did seem like you were having fun, pon.”

“It seemed it would be even more fun to be with you.”

“Oh-ho…could this be a proposal, pon?”

Cranberry slowly shook her head, and the roses on her shoulders swayed left to right. In this small room of bare concrete—this stark chamber with only a single plain bed—the incongruous aroma of roses hung in the air.