Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 12 - Chapter 2

Magical Shopping

  The Story So Far

Makoto Andou had become the magical girl Magicaloid 44 after helping level up a friend’s character in the cell phone game Magical Girl Raising Project. Currently having a marvelous time couch-surfing and in need of cash to fund her vagabond lifestyle, she was scheming to make money using her magical-girl powers.

Sister Nana, a magical girl who had been trying to rope her lover into the magical-girl business, had proved an easy target. Magicaloid had been selling her one futuristic gadget per day, but then all of a sudden, Nana’s lover had actually become a magical girl herself.

Losing her golden goose had Magicaloid grief-stricken. But she couldn’t make a living if all she did was mourn.

You can do it! Never give up! Robotic magical girl of the future: Magicaloid 44!

“This is the item that I have brought to you today.”

“This? It looks like a regular tote bag, though.”

Apparently, the following Thursday would be Snow White’s birthday. Her partner, La Pucelle, wanted to show her appreciation with a present, so she had asked Magicaloid if she had any good stuff for sale. This was a great opportunity for Magicaloid, too—she very much wanted to sell some “good stuff.” Thus, she’d put together some items to rush over to the steel tower in Kubegahama, but La Pucelle’s reaction was not promising. She was clearly suspicious of Magicaloid’s wares.

After all, these wares did not appear magical in nature. So Magicaloid just had to make sure to compensate for that with her presentation. She’d cooked up the “selling magical items as presents” method when dealing with Sister Nana, and she was going to make that business model a success this time, too.

The twilight sky was turning from red to black as La Pucelle sat down on a steel girder. Magicaloid hovered in the air with her booster rockets and began her rooftop sales pitch.

“Do not be fooled by the item’s appearance,” said Magicaloid. “Have you not heard from Sister Nana? It was thanks to my futuristic gadgets that Winterprison was able to become a magical girl.”

“Yeah, but I also heard the gadgets break in a day,” La Pucelle replied.

“These items are different. They were manufactured via the futuristic gadget Boss Battle Magical Item Creation Kit.”

“How’s that different from the usual?”

“It is true that my items become nonfunctional after a single day. I will acknowledge that. However, the results generated by said items are lasting. Take the pen that enables you to draw like a top-tier professional manga artist. The pen will stop functioning after one day, while the art drawn with said pen remains. In other words, the magical items that have been created by the Boss Battle Magical Item Creation Kit will also continue to function. Well? Amazing, yes?”

“I don’t really get it, but I guess that means they won’t break.”

“I can offer all of these items to you at a mere fifty thousand yen.”

“Geez, fifty thousand yen…” La Pucelle had seemed somewhat interested before, but Magicaloid could sense she was quickly losing her. Magicaloid clicked her tongue to herself, just like Ripple. From their discussions in the chat, Magicaloid knew La Pucelle was a student. That much she could glean based on the magical-girl anime La Pucelle watched. Her asking price was too high for a kid.

“Then I will offer an exclusive additional fifty percent off! A shocking Magicaloid price! The cost is now twenty-five thousand yen. This is a one-time-only chance.”

“Even twenty-five thousand is expensive.”

“The single-day items Sister Nana purchased were ten thousand yen, you know. And these items can be used indefinitely. Do you not agree that twenty-five thousand is a steal?”

“You’re being weirdly pushy.”

Magicaloid tapped herself on the forehead a couple of times. She was aware she was being impatient. And she did have the feeling that if she was going to make a deal with La Pucelle, maybe she should conceal her motives with some small talk. But she didn’t have the time for that.

Magicaloid kept talking as if she hadn’t heard what La Pucelle had said. “Oh, no. Even twenty-five thousand yen is an amazing value for these products.”

“How so?”

“In this tote bag, there are a total of—drumroll, please—five whole magical items! With this Super Magical Girl Set for Aspiring Heroes, you too can become the heroine. Snow White will also love this—that much I am sure of.”

Terms like special, bonus, limited time offer, and exclusive encouraged people to loosen their purse strings. Magicaloid had to make a sale right now. She would use whatever she could, be it smarmy talk or overselling the product.

“Let me introduce these items to you. These are special—if you let this chance pass you by, there will never be another opportunity. I ask that you save your cost-related judgments until I have finished explaining everything.”

Magicaloid pulled one of the items from the tote bag: a cork coaster with an illustration of several cute fairies on it. “This is the Castaway Coaster. It is fully water-resistant.”

“Well, yeah, most coasters are.”

“It repels not only water, but all marine things: fish, shellfish, squid, octopi, dolphins, whales, orcas, even people in swimsuits. This coaster’s water resistance is unparalleled.”

No reaction. Magicaloid felt like she could hear the frowning La Pucelle grumble, “Hmm.”

Sensing the response was not favorable, Magicaloid pulled out the next item. “We also have these Hair Defender Stickers.”

She presented a number of sticker sheets. The characters on them looked like magical girls, but they weren’t current.

“I dunno those characters…,” said La Pucelle, “but I’m a little curious. They’re not from a TV show, and I don’t think they’re from a manga, either. Maybe they’re video game or light novel characters?”

“Well, you see, it does not matter what characters they are. What is key is the magical effects. Believe it or not, simply adhering these stickers on your person will prevent your hair from being stolen. These mysterious stickers will cause any hair-stealing deviant to be captivated by the sticker’s cuteness. They will happily steal the sticker instead of your hair.”

“These are items for fighting bosses, right? …And, um, a deviant…?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Not to worry, I have more items. Next is this.”

Magicaloid then produced a simple notebook. “This is a Desu Note.”

“Wait, you mean—?!”

“The person whose name is written in this notebook…”

“D-dies?!”

“Of course not. They will lose any unique speech quirks.”

“The heck?”

“You can use it on someone whose accent is difficult to understand. When their speech quirks vanish, they lose their boss-like dignity and majesty, making them far more ordinary.”

“Does that do anything other than piss them off?”

“Who knows? Regardless, their speech will become flawlessly polite and therefore easily understood by anyone. Hence why this item is called a Desu Note.”

“I wonder if you’d talk normally if I wrote your name in it.”

“…In any case, on to the next item. Behold.” Next was another sticker—a single large rectangular sticker depicting two magical girls.

“This is an Anti–Mind Attack Sticker,” Magicaloid explained. “They are a type of decal you stick onto your credit cards for customization purposes. Oh, but this is a magical sticker, of course, so it is enchanted with a special, wonderful spell.”

“It makes it so your hair can’t get stolen, right?” La Pucelle replied.

“Those were the other stickers. This one is different. Place this sticker on any kind of smart card and—believe it or not!—you will no longer be influenced by the emotions of others.”

“…Umm, I don’t really get it.”

“Have you ever heard of the term ‘credit card bankruptcy’? That is the sort of tragedy that occurs due to spending beyond your means. If you could avoid getting influenced by other people’s desires, you could reduce wasteful expenditures. With this card up your sleeve, you will not have your credit card bills stacked against you. Ha-ha-ha.”

“Was that supposed to be a joke about cards—?”

“And now for the next one. Please take a look at this plastic folder.” This item, like the anti–hair theft stickers, had a bunch of magical girls on it; one could stick papers inside the folder.

“Once you write something down—well, it could be anything, but for instance, something important—and insert it in this Memory Preservation Folder, you will no longer misremember that information.”

“You mean like your address or phone number?”

“More like whether you just spoke in Japanese or French.”

“How could you forget that?”

“There are some incredibly forgetful people in the world, you know. Some will mistake their enemy for the person they most look up to… Surely you cannot claim this does not happen.”

“I don’t think it does.”

“Fair enough. Indeed, you are correct. Even I understand that much, yes. Although there are the occasional off chances or slight possibilities. On to the next item, the very first one I showed you.” The simple cotton bag gave off an impression of modest cleanliness. “The noble presentation of this Cotton Bag for the Aristocrat of the Meadow will make the wearer similarly noble. Simply put, just by carrying this bag, you will be treated as if you have impeccable manners.”

“So just carrying it gives you good manners?”

“No, you will merely be treated like a well-mannered person. You do not actually gain manners.”

“Huuuh…? Well, that’s pointless.”

“Er, um, you see, about that—the item will briefly prevent you from upsetting anyone with your lack of propriety. It works as a temporary measure, to tide you over.”

“Still…”

“Wait, wait. Hold on, now. Think of this as an etiquette tool that will allow you to get away with everything. Surely you realize the benefits it provides, yes? No matter how severe and stubborn an interviewer may be, they will never consider you rude.”

“So then shouldn’t you just learn your manners properly?”

“Well, that is not the sort of item it is.”

“This is for Snow White’s birthday, anyway, so I feel like an item for a boss fight is in the wrong direction. She’s not the kind of magical girl who has some bad guy she needs to defeat…like the magical girls in Cutie Healer or Star Queen.”

“The good old days are already long behind us. Where there are magical girls, there are battles to be fought. I am certain she will engage in boss fights going forward. Most definitely.”

“Boss fights, huh…?” La Pucelle mused. “These don’t seem like weapons for fighting bosses, though. Wouldn’t you need things that like…shoot beams, or make doppelgängers and stuff?”

“No, no, no, not at all. You never know what or how something will prove useful. It is not completely out of the question that a water-resistant coaster could enable you to beat a powerful boss character. And besides, does it not seem likely that an enemy who influences others’ emotions could indeed exist?”

“Ahhh, well, yeah, maybe so.”

“Or an enemy with a strong accent, or an enemy who causes you to misunderstand things, or an enemy who is particular about manners.”

“Nah, not those.”

Magicaloid repeatedly attempted to persuade La Pucelle, despite even thinking herself it was all a little forced, yet La Pucelle stood firm. And so, with great sorrow, Magicaloid offered her another 50 percent discount.

But La Pucelle shook her head and let Magicaloid down easy. “Snow White’s gonna show up soon,” she said, and she added, “I’ll think about whether I need any of these items.”

With a sigh, Magicaloid left the steel tower, flying to her goal underneath the gray sky.

At high, high altitude and high speed, she cut across the city, careful to avoid being seen as she descended into a residential area and landed behind a playground. She transformed back into Makoto Andou and entered the small park. The sun had set; the streetlamps glowed a dim, gloomy purple.

Seated on a curved wooden bench beside one of the streetlamps was an elementary school–aged girl.

It seemed she’d kept her promise to wait a little bit. Not long ago, she’d been looking at her feet and crying—she still was. When this was combined with how her long hair spilled over her shoulders as well as with her muted outfit and the dim park lights and streetlights, Makoto thought the girl was really a depressing sight, not that she was in any position to point that out.

Holding back a sigh, Makoto sat down next to the girl. “Sorry. I couldn’t get any money after all.”

The girl’s sobs came in hiccups. She held a crushed, muddied cardboard box, and inside—well, it was easy to tell what had become of the contents. She’d said it was a birthday present for her mother, a clock she’d bought with her New Year’s allowance.

On the way back from her part-time job at the convenience store, Makoto had been lost in thought, pondering how she could use her magical-girl identity to make money, so she’d neglected to pay attention to her surroundings. She’d ended up accidentally bumping shoulders with this girl, which had caused her to drop the box with the clock inside, sending it rolling into the street before it got crushed by a passing truck. That incident brought them to the present moment.

With some consoling and wheedling, Makoto had managed to get the girl to explain: Today was her mother’s birthday, and she had to give her a present before the day was over. She didn’t have the money to replace the clock; neither did Makoto. She’d put the money she’d wrangled from Sister Nana into a fixed deposit, and now that it was past four o’clock, she couldn’t withdraw any more cash until the next day.

Borrow money from someone, then? That would run counter to Makoto’s beliefs. No way.

So she’d wondered if she could exchange something for money, and she had hit on an idea: take the magic items she’d thrown together after producing a weird futuristic gadget the other day and sell them to another magical girl. But that had failed, too. Maybe the time crunch had made her impatient and sullied her sales pitch; perhaps La Pucelle’s stinginess was to blame, or perhaps the items weren’t right for Snow White in the first place. But the little girl was still crying.

Makoto would’ve rather abandoned her and fled, but she couldn’t do that. Biting her lip, she rose to her feet. In her hand was an undyed cotton bag. She pulled a notepad and pen from her pocket, jotted down some instructions, then dropped the note into the bag. “If you promise you’ll never tell anyone…how about I give you some good stuff?”

The girl looked up, tears still streaming down her face. Makoto wondered if this was what a cry for help looked like.

One week later…

While walking back from her convenience store job, Makoto was pondering how she might quit her job to make a living purely from being a magical girl when someone called out to her from behind. She turned to see a familiar little girl. Makoto looked around, but there was nobody else nearby. The girl was looking straight at her and wearing a bright orange backpack.

“Me?” asked Makoto.

“Thanks for before, miss.” The girl bowed her head with a swish of her long hair.

Oh, Makoto thought, it’s that girl from the other day. She’d only ever seen her face streaked with tears, so she hadn’t realized. The girl came off a lot cheerier with her backpack on and her hair in a ponytail. Or maybe it was more her cheery expression.

“My mom really loves those presents,” the girl said.

“Huh? Really? She does?”

“Well, yeah, they’re amazing!”

“I mean, maybe they are amazing, but there’s no way she has any real use for them, right?”

“Nuh-uh, she really does. She uses the coaster to get water off the vegetables and wring the laundry dry. It’s got some sort of special material in it, right?”

Now that the girl said so, Makoto realized, Huh, that’s definitely one way to use it.

“When my mom’s sleeping, my brother… He’s only two, and sometimes he pulls her hair, and she didn’t know what to do with him. But when she put on those stickers, he stopped pulling.”

“Ohhh, I see.”

“And she said since she started putting her plans for the month into that folder, stuff doesn’t slip her mind anymore. She’s really forgetful, so she was always getting worked up about remembering things.” The girl giggled cheerfully. “And she also said she made a really good impression on the PTA when she brought that cotton bag to a meeting.”

“Aha, that makes sense.”

“And ever since she put that one sticker on her credit card, she feels like she’s been wasting less money.”

“Maybe that’s the right way to use it.”

“Oh, but also this.” The girl took off her backpack and fished around inside it until she pulled out a notebook. “About this notebook… My mom says accents aren’t actually bad things. And that regional dialects disappearing means culture disappearing and stuff. I didn’t really get that part.”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

“So she asked me to give it back. Sorry—you were so nice to give it to me.”

The girl went on for a while longer about how wonderful the items were, then bowed some more, sending her ponytail swishing back and forth, before she finally left.

On the way back home, Makoto gazed at her reflection in the window of a car parked on the road. It was subtle, but Makoto was smiling, too.

That evening, Magicaloid opened up the notebook, wrote Fav, then turned on her magical phone. “Fav, do you have a minute?” she asked.

A black-and-white hologram popped up over the screen. “How may I help you?”

“Ohhh, right… Now I see how…effective this item is, heh. Thank you very much.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t done a thing worthy of thanks… Is something the matter?”

Magicaloid clutched her stomach, shoulders shaking. Fav’s worried question just made her laugh harder until finally it started to hurt. Magicaloid waved a hand. “No, no, I am fine.”