Chapter 4:
You Should Properly Listen to What
People Tell You
(Especially If They're a Gamemaster)
A whole array of waves sparkled beneath him.
"...The sea, huh…?"
"Sure is."
Alice hovered next to him while her robe fluttered in the sea breeze.
There was water as far as the eye could see.
They were on the second floor, still work in progress, named 'The End of the Endless Ocean.' There was nothing but water here yet, but according to Alice's plans, she'd build 17 islands here and the players would experience adventures while travelling back and forth between the islands.
"It might be more or less a tsukkomi, but why's there a sea on the second floor of a tower?"
"'Cause it's easier to make bathing suit monsters and equipment, isn't it?"
"So?"
"We can attract male players with— sex appeal!"
"A rather refreshing bait, isn't it…?"
"You say that, but you want to see Azrael in a bikini too, right?"
"Why's it always about Azrael?!"
"I wo~nder…"
Alice chuckled like a child.
"Next'll be the islands~ Or should we maybe return and take a bit of a break?"
"Hm… No, let's keep at it a bit longer."
Azrael was probably still in the debugging room trying to fix that lag bug.
"Why? If we go back now, we might be able to see her naked."
"That's exactly why, you know?!"
He had to be careful not to come back when she was testing this time. Azrael was just a normal friend and there was no romance between them at all— even if this was a virtual world, he mustn't see her naked. After all, she had cried and seemingly disliked it herself. Lizna had laughed, though.
And he had been a bit reluctant to get his eyes off of her.
"Nonono!"
However— it was an absolute no-go. Absolutely.
"You're so cute, Sasaraki."
Alice chuckled. She's definitely picking on me…
"A-Anyway, let's keep going."
Sasaraki operated the 'Master Screen' and was about to boot up the 'Creation Mode'—
"Huh?"
The second he wanted to go ahead to boot it, something felt off about the command list.
There was a big empty space in there. Beneath the 'Items' and 'Skills' buttons was a blank.
"———Eh?"
Usually there's— the 'Logout' button, right?
"What's wrong, Sasaraki?"
"Somehow… there's no logout button."
What's the meaning of this? Another bug?
Sasaraki took out the bell and rang for Fury.
"Leave all your game-related worries to me! Something the matter, Master??"
She appeared right away and asked that with her usual smile.
"Errr, there's no logout button, why's that?"
He tried asking that for now, but had a bad feeling about it.
"That's, you kno~w?"
Fury raised her voice as if she'd been waiting for it.
"It's not a bug, it's a feature?"
That's more or less the response I've expected— he thought, when…
"If you wonder how that's a feature...?"
Fury explained with the same expression as always.
"Because Azrael-san applied the 'True Paradise' patch I showed you before?"
The atmosphere felt like a dry wind blowing through a prairie.
Sasaraki couldn't say a word. Alice appeared to be the same.
Fury alone kept on smiling the same sweet smile as always.
"Was Fury helpful to you??"
The wind blew once more and made her dress flutter.
Around the time her dress stopped fluttering, Sasaraki finally shouted…
"WHY WOULD SHE—————————?!"
"Azrael-san's at that awkward age and has her own special problems, you know??"
"Nononono?! That's on a whole other level than that awkward age stuff, alright?!"
A death game. People would die.
"Isn't that basically what being a pubertaling girl is all about? Kill, be killed...??"
"I don't want that kind of bloodthirsty puberty to exist, okay?!"
Fury chuckled.
"Be that as it may, the patch is live. So the logout button not being there is a feature?"
Sasaraki's pulse sped up.
Are we really going to die in this game which has an already three times higher death rate (three deaths per day)?
Not good. Way bad. This definitely mustn't happen!
"ALICE—!"
He turned around and shouted. Alice stared back at him.
"W-We've to stop Azrael right now or things'll be bad—!"
"...What'll be bad?"
"Eh?"
"I don't really get the fuss?"
Alice asked back without a change in her expression.
Sasaraki got irritated by her for the first time. Why was she so slow on the uptake right now?
"You heard it too, right?! It's a death game!"
Alice blinked. She folded her arms.
"Death game? You mean dying here kills you in real life too?"
"Yeah, that! If you die, you're dead for real!"
"Hmmm…"
Alice poked the ground with her boots for a bit while her arms were still folded.
"And you really do believe that's possible?"
"There's no logout button, you know?!"
"That's just a fea— Well, I get the gist of it."
Alice mumbled an astonished, "Oh boy…"
"By the way, Sasaraki, are you in debugging mode right now?"
"Eh? No, I was test-playing, so I switched it off— Wait, I've to turn it on right away!"
If he died now, he'd be dead for good. It was life-threatening not to make sure to have one's Invincible Barrier on.
He was about to renew it and grabbed his 'Immortal Pendant.'
...When Alice shook her head.
"Keep it that way."
"Heh?"
"I'll prove it to you. Stand still."
Alice smiled sweetly. What was she plotting?
She removed a ten-sided dice from one of her ears. He had seen that before.
Wasn't that the 'Dice of the Goddess' that he used to kill 'Rainbow-Eating Elder Dragon King' which had appeared due to a bug before? Alice clenched the dice with her right hand, winded up as if she'd throw a baseball— and tossed it.
*Bump*.
It touched Sasaraki's forehead and, *GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH*!
"Eh—?"
With the sound of something cutting through air, Sasaraki was in mid-air. Alice's figure grew instantly distant. Finally, he hugged the invisible wall— the world's border. There was no pain. Instead, he could see the damage taken.
500,000,000.
Thereafter, his vision turned monochrome.
In big Ming-style typeface, it said…
[You Died. Reason: Goddess of Creation, Alice (Weapon: Dice of the Goddess)]
* * *
Ten seconds later, his vision changed.
It was the palm tree island they had put there for testing purposes.
Alice was standing in front of him, glaring at Sasaraki with her arms folded.
After ten more seconds had passed, Sasaraki finally grasped the situation and shouted...
"What—? YOU KILLED ME, ALICE—?!"
"You aren't really dead, though."
He stopped dead in his tracks.
"...Huh?"
"I told you, didn't I? I don't get what the fuss is all about."
Alice said with a poker face while juggling the 'Dice of the Goddess.'
"Exactly because the risk of causing brain damage throughout a virtual world dive device— which has happened in fiction a thousand times over already—
has been cleared away, it's possible to use it for gaming purposes. The first prototypes from ten years ago aside, you can't kill people with the over-the-counter devices that are sold everywhere these days, of course."
Alice said full of confidence.
Sasaraki gaped widely with his mouth, but nothing came out.
Something like a death game's impossible? Then what did that patch—?
"Fury, what's going on? I've got a feeling, but—"
"Ehehehehehe~?"
Fury smiled broadly.
"Sasaraki-san and his friends are really pure and cute, aren't they??"
"Pure?"
"In other words, she pulled a fast one on you."
Fury folded her hands in front of her chest and looked at Sasaraki with teary eyes.
"Uuh, how crueeel. I didn't lie or anythi~ng?"
"Omitting crucial points to lead them to a misunderstanding is even worse."
"Omitting crucial points?"
"Fury. Show us the patch notes. You got them with you, don't you?"
"Of course I do~? Just nobody asked, so I didn't show them yet~?"
Fury held up a small dice and mumbled, "Open help document, PTD-37564."
Thereupon, white smoke rose up in front of Fury. Behind the smoke was a screen approximately the size of Fury herself.
"Help yourself, Master?"
She rotated the screen with an arm gesture.
Sasaraki began reading its contents.
[Release Notes:
Brought back the [Romance System] removed in version 32.
With this, romance between players will be supported system-side; marriage, making children, philandery, alimony, family suicide, funerals, and inheritance will be possible.
Affix 1: Regarding the Codename
This patch is called 'DEATH GAME' due to the possibility of lovers suicide.
It also holds the double meaning, 'Marriage is the end of your life.'
By no means is the intention to make fun of the idiot who only reads the codename and is like, 'WHAT?! A DEATH GAME?!' Thank you for your understanding.
Affix 2: Constraints
While the patch is being applied, the logout button will disappear for developers for about an hour
Once it's applied, it'll return. I can't explain why, but it's a feature.
I've no intention at all of scaring the idiot who applies the patch.
Thank you for your understanding.]
"I'VE NO UNDERSTANDING, THOUGH—?!"
He shouted with all his might.
"He totally chose that codename and feature to pull a fast one on us, right—?!"
"Oh you, Sasaraki-san? Let's believe in the good of people?"
"There's no credibility if you tell me that while laughing tears and holding your stomach, you know—?!"
"Fury's just deeply mo~ved?"
Fury extended both of her arms and jumped as if dancing.
"My master left me the best present ever?"
"More like, the worst, right?!"
He heaved a sigh after all this shouting.
"E~h? You didn't really think people would die here, did you??"
"I did! It said DEATH GAME, you know?! That means a game in which people die, you know?!"
"Didn't I tell you? My master was a super pervert, super virgin, and super loser?"
Fury smiled a bit lonely.
"Of course he wasn't someone who would just— kill people, was he~??"
A violent feeling of exhaustion overcame Sasaraki.
He felt like he wanted to let himself sink onto the prairie. Jesus Christ, they totally got me—
"C'mon, there's no time to rest yet."
"Eh? Why?"
If there was no death game, there'd no need to do anything, was there?
"We can't leave it like this, the romance system from version 32 has some serious defects."
"Defects?"
"If players hold hands for three seconds…"
Alice connected her left and right hands. She looked at Sasaraki with a serious expression.
"...they'll be married."
He was at a loss for words.
"And if they kiss, the girl will get pregnant."
After he had been frozen for ten seconds, he finally shouted…
"WHY?!"
"Master was a really pure-hearted man?"
"That's way too pure, though?! Is he living in dreamland?!"
"He was someone who was in real love with a fairy?"
Fury chuckled, saying, "That's why he couldn't make a move on me, right??"
"Right now, it's only applied to the testing area, but if this stupid system gets spread across all areas, the already small amount of female players will completely vanish in the blink of an eye. I don't know what Azrael was thinking when applying that…"
"Did she ache for romance that much…? Wait, waaait."
Did Azrael know the patch's contents to begin with?
He felt like she didn't. And she was even faster to jump to conclusions than him.
But— if she thought it was a death game patch, why would she apply it?
Something's off , he thought, when…
[A message arrived from player Azrael.]
The system voice resounded.
Did Azrael realize the truth, too? Sasaraki pressed the play button.
[Deathbringer Angel Azrael announces…]
Azrael said in a serious tone. She then paused for a second.
[Come to where I am, Sasaraki. I shall teach you the difference between gaming and playing!]
"........................The heck?"
He understood that she was getting fired up severely. For now, he tried sending,
[Are you talking about the death game? That's actually a misunderstanding, it seems], but no reply.
"...I've got a bad feeling about this. Sasaraki, let's cancel it at once."
"How?"
It was a patch from Fury's master. They didn't know the keycode.
They could logout to erase it, but the button was out of order too.
"We'll be fine as long as we reset Azrael's 'Immortal Pendant (Imitation).' We'll delete her gamemaster registration with your 'Master Screen.' All we need to do is getting our hands on the actual thing, so we've to return to the debugging room."
"Ah— if you're going back, please use the teleport square?"
"Why?"
"For the dramaturgy?"
"Dramaturgy…?"
What dramaturgy?
"It'll be Azrael-san's once-in-a-lifetime performance? I'm begging you?"
Fury left with these willful words and flew towards the sky.
"Alice, what do you think?"
"I don't quite get it, but… I can tell one thing."
Alice heaved a big sigh.
"Nothing good's waiting for us in the debugging room."
* * *
The debugging room had turned into something looking like a Greek temple.
"What's going on in here?!"
The center of the room was covered with with marble tiles. From the four corners of a pedestal pillars like those you'd find in said Greek temple reached up to the ceiling, and in the middle of those was a throne. Its backrest about two meters tall. White smoke was silently rising from the floor.
After closer inspection, the smoke came out of buckets.
Seemed to be dry ice for theater.
"Why do we even have that in a virtual world…?"
"I've been awaiting you."
The voice of a girl well-known to him resounded from the throne.
Sasaraki looked up at the throne with the eyes of a dead fish. On it was, of course, Azrael. Not in her usual cloak get-up, however. Four gigantic, jet-black wings had sprout from her back. They bugged through the back of the throne and extended over two meters, they were like wings you'd see on an angel in paintings.
"The time of judgement hath come. Now, Sasaraki, let us play—"
Azrael struck her wings elegantly and arose.
She unsheathed her swords from their scabbards, directed the point of a sword at Sasaraki, and shouted…
"AS GAMEMASTERS, LET US BEGIN THE— RAGNAROK CONCERTO—!"
Five seconds passed by.
Sasaraki thought absentmindedly…
—This is going to be more of a pain in the ass than I thought.
"Sasaraki, is this some special girl joke? Where am I supposed to laugh?"
Alice asked him in a whisper.
"No… I've no idea either, but I don't think she's joking."
Something specific had worsened to its absolute worst. Namely, her chuunibyou.
What could Fury have possibly breathed into her?
"Fufufu, I know what you want to say."
Azrael expressed a smile proving that she rather didn't know.
"Why do we have to do something so unreasonable— that's what you wanna ask, right?!"
"...Yeah, that's correct in a way."
What's with this over-the-top floor, pillars, throne, wings? Why has it come to this?
Did she go out of her way to look for those in the database and implement them just for drama's sake?
"Rather, listen to me first, Azrael. The death game stuff's—"
"I shall now tell you the reason why I applied the patch."
She ain't listening.
"I did it to make a realism in mortal combat happen that this world was lacking."
Azrael stated clearly.
"Sasaraki, did you never question it? Why your comrades would come back to life just fine when they'd been roasted by a dragon blaze? Why could they return from the dead— why could they just be like death rulers as if it was nothing? Is there meaning in battles in a game where you can just come back to life?"
"Probably not, but just listen to—"
"And so I— Deathbringer Angel Azrael decided—!"
Anyways, she ain't listening.
"Defeat is going to literally be your death. I shall see this kind of perfected world created—!"
She struck her jet-black wings grandly.
A violent squall blew and Azrael's body hovered softly in the air.
When he stared at her, he could see a lonely smile on her face.
"Sasaraki… you look like you want to say that I'm wrong, right?"
"You're fundamentally wrong, alright?! So listen to—"
"BUT I'VE NO INTENTION TO FALTER—!"
The deaf Azrael shouted in a grim voice.
"O Magical Sword Gram, lend me your strength once more— [INVOKE]!"
The second she screamed that, an ominous purple aura arose from her magical sword.
Her magical sword had the effect to rise critical hit chance by 50%.
"...Ah…"
Azrael showed hesitation for some reason.
Thereupon, she alighted to the floor and slightly warped her mouth.
"I-I'm fine, I'm fine! I'm Deathbringer Angel Azrael—!"
She persuaded herself.
Shaking her head, she resumed glaring at Sasaraki.
"B… By the way, Sasaraki, let me confirm… Your Invincible Barrier's on, right?"
"Hah?"
"Answer me! It's important!"
He had no idea why that was important, but he nodded for now. After Alice had killed him, he activated his barrier again. If he died, he'd return to that spawn point, after all.
"T-Then we're set, huh?!"
She cleared her throat with a cough and made her serious face again.
Then she once again prepared her Magical Sword Gram which still emitted its ominous aura.
"Now come at me, Saraki! If you want to stop me— do it with brute force!"
"I don't really get you, but I'm invincible right now, so this wouldn't be much of…
UWAH—?!"
She struck her four black wings remarkably strongly. A violent gust blew.
"HERE COMES DEATHBRINGER ANGEL AZRAEL—!"
Azrael's body flew up high. She crossed 'Magical Sword Gram' and 'Ragnarok'
above her head and twisted her body to the maximum. Still in that pose, she was still vigorously rising to the debugging room's ceiling and... hit her head on it.
"KYAU—?!"
She fell and hit the ground head first next to the throne.
It appeared she didn't have her Invincible Barrier on, her HP dropped to about half.
Alice kept silent with a serious look on her face. Sasaraki remained equally silent and serious.
Finally, Azrael got back up.
She was teary-eyed. Her hands were shaking.
"I… I'm fine—!"
She put her hand to her big chest and in- and exhaled deeply.
"I'm Deathbringer Angel Azrael… I'm not s-scared of dying—!"
When she finally stood tall again, she picked up her magical sword and pointed it at Sasaraki.
"Fufu—! You had me there—!"
No, I had no one.
"This really got to be some new kind of joke, doesn't it?"
Alice mumbled with a serious expression.
"No, I think she's really serious about this."
She did say that she was wishing for some realistic mortal combat and all. So she really thought this would become a death game and applied the patch nonetheless?
Considering that, this'd be incomprehensible suicide— it is nothing but suicide, no matter how you look at it, and she wants a real duel like this?
I don't get it, but— I've to stop her for now.
"Mhhh. Wouldn't it be better to just kill her off like she wants you to? Sasaraki, you need this?"
Alice mumbled and put the 'Dice of the Goddess' into her hands.
"HIIIIIIH———————?!"
*JERK*!
Azrael jumped up like a scared hamster.
"Ah, uuh…"
She curled her whole body up and shook while staring at Alice.
Tears were allotting in the corners of her eyes. She resembled a little bird afraid of its natural enemy.
Looking at her like that, Alice's expression warped with an, "Uuh—."
"I-I can't bring myself to…!"
"She looks like she really does think she'll die, huh?"
Then why this suicide mission?
I don't get it. Not that I usually get her, but this time it's an I-don't-get-it with quality seal.
Sasaraki was at a loss, when…
A teleport sound echoed behind them. Next...
"Sasaraki-kun, Alice-san—!"
"Lizna?!"
When they turned around, Lizna stood on top of the teleport square with an unusual expression on her face.
"I-I've heard it from Fury-san—! We mustn't die!"
No good comes from listening to that source.
"Are we all sa— Ah—?!"
She cast her gaze towards Azrael and her expression quickly changed.
"Her HP bar…?! W-W-What are you doing, Sasaraki-san—?!"
She came running and positioned herself between Azrael and Sasaraki.
"Please don't fight! You mustn't—!"
"I haven't done anything from the start, you know?! Plus, it doesn't really matter if we—"
"Then why have her HP fallen if you didn't fight—?!"
"Because she basically blew herself up when—!"
"Because I challenged him to a duel, Lizna."
Azrael interjected him in a fearless tone.
Hopeless. Those two won't listen to a word from me!
"Heh—? Heh, you're joking, right—?! If you die now, you'll really be dead for good, you know?!"
"That's exactly why."
She slashed with her both swords.
"That's what I've always been wanting— A duel to the death, befitting of Deathbringer Angel Azrael!"
A few seconds of silence later.
Alice appeared to watch the spectacle in blank amazement.
Sasaraki was trying to think up a way to put a hold to all of this, but Lizna was quicker yet again.
"Azrael-san… you're lying."
She announced calmly and took a step towards her. Azrael shook her head.
"I'm serious. I'm not afraid of dying."
"You're lying."
"I just said that I'm not lying, didn't I?!"
Another few seconds of silence passed. Finally, Lizna did something weird.
Well, everything she'd been doing since earlier was weird, but even considering that she did something particularly weird.
"Then— you won't cry if I do this?"
Lizna gripped her 'Immortal Pendant (Imitation)' and mumbled, "Invincible Barrier, off."
"EEEEI—!"
*SMACK*—!
They could hear the sound of an intense impact. It was, in fact, the sound of her mace's head hitting her own head.
Her HP bar appeared above her. It went down to 80%.
"Wai—?! W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LIZNA?!"
"I-I-I'M JUST DOING THE SAME YOU DO—"
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