A GODDESS CAME
When I went to Flatta to do some shopping, I spotted Laika helping a group of people who were putting together scaffolding for the construction on the village church.
“Wow, you’re really making this go quickly, Laika!” One of the people from the church bowed his head in thanks.
“Oh, no. This is nothing.”
“May you and your family be blessed. Oh, this is some consecrated lamb from the church, so please take it with you.”
“Meat! How delightful! I will enjoy every last bite of this! Thank you so much!”
Laika went from zero to a hundred in a second!
Maybe she did it for the meat. But it wasn’t a terrible point of compromise; it would be a problem if they were making her work without pay just because she was powerful.
Since we were both in town, Laika and I decided to go back together.
“I know it’s funny to bring it up now, but this world is polytheistic, isn’t it?”
The thought had occurred to me when Laika was helping with the church. This fantasy world was a lot like Europe, but they believed in spirits and worshipped a lot of gods, so maybe it was less like Europe in general and more like the Roman Empire specifically.
“I don’t understand the more difficult parts of religion, but we have so many different races here that perhaps the number of gods people believe in has naturally grown.”
“Ahhh, yeah. All kinds of people live here.”
Even among the races that spoke the human language, there were quite a few deities. Maybe everyone was so accustomed to having many gods that polytheism became the norm.
“I’m sure if you ask Shalsha about that, she would be able to tell you plenty.”
“Oh yeah, we do have a specialist at home.”
I clapped my hands.
That night, I told Shalsha, “I want to learn about the gods,” and she seemed to swell with pride and motivation.
“Leave it to me. I will educate you right away.”
Shalsha hauled over an extremely thick book. The title was The Encyclopedia of Divinity.
Whoa…this whole thing was written about gods. How many of them are there…?
But it wasn’t all that strange. I think they sold encyclopedias of Buddha statues and deities in Japan, too. There were innumerable gods in the world.
“Now may I begin the lecture?”
“Sure. I can’t wait.”
It felt weird having my daughter teach me, but Shalsha was technically over fifty years old. She was the right age to be a college professor.
“Fifteen hundred years ago, a notable professor of philosophy proposed that gods were a concept invented by humans. But he was ultimately sent to the religious courts, where several very real gods appeared before him, and the professor was chased out of the university.”
Right from the start, I could see this world was quite different from the one in my past life…
“I see. So gods do show up from time to time.”
I’d never seen one in this world, but I’d seen plenty of spirits. Some regions naturally treated spirits as objects of faith, so it would be safe to say that, by extension, gods really did exist.
I didn’t know if this world’s gods had absolute power, but they probably existed, at the very least. At this point, I could only give an educated guess, but theology had most likely evolved in a very different direction.
Shalsha continued her lecture. “Modern theology states that the existence of gods is fact. But with the limited power that humans have, it is impossible to confirm how many of them there are.”
“Yeah, I could sort of tell.”
If we knew everything about the gods, that would mean that humans and gods were equal in terms of power, which made no sense.
“In addition, a major topic in recent theology is the definition of a god. Every party has completely different opinions on how to decide which entities count and which don’t.”
Sure, there were plenty of people around who’d lived for hundreds of years, of course…
It was hard to draw the line where gods began and just a really amazing person stopped.
“One scholar proposed that beings who had lived over a thousand years might perhaps be gods, but that was rejected.”
“By that definition, Pecora and Beelzebub would be gods…”
A demon king might be like a god, but there’s no way I could put my faith in her… She’s hardly divine…
I couldn’t worship a girl who always played pranks on me and pretended she was an idol… Wait, idols technically are objects of worship.
“If I may jump to the conclusion, it is What everyone thinks is a god, is a god.”
“That’s what you say when no one can agree!” So anything could be a god.
Anything goes in this world… Not much I could do about it, though…
“Additionally, every year, in all parts of the world, a popular god will arise. These gods will be deemed beneficial and gain many followers. Most of these go out of fashion before long, but a small few are worshipped for a long time and eventually find a place among myth.”
“I see… I guess that’s how religions are formed…”
I remembered when I turned into a fox not too long ago; Inari was a god who had existed in Japan for centuries, but it was only in the Edo period that worship rapidly spread. I saw something about it on TV once.
Shalsha then slammed the book shut. “Normally, I would start talking about individual gods at this point, but I’m sure that’s not what you want to know. I’ll stop here.”
“Yeah. I think I got a general grasp on things. Thanks.”
That was over faster than I expected. All I learned was that gods were a nebulous concept in this world.
“Also, the most popular god as of late is one called Goodly Godly Godness.”
That didn’t sound like a very smart god…
“It is said that if you speak Goodly Godly Godness’s words, then you’ll gain more power, your ailments will be cured, one of your missing socks will show up, or you’ll get luckier with romance. There are more and more believers every day throughout the kingdom now.”
“Wait, wait! That sounds real fishy!”
Find a sock? I can’t believe they’d start believing in a god over something like that…
Shalsha opened another, less heavy-looking book.
It was titled Hot New Gods! Check This God Out! The title was extremely casual.
“You can read more about it here.”
* * *
Wow, she even found her socks!
It sort of felt like the concept of divinity had descended to find a place among my acquaintances. Like a friend of mine coming up to me and saying Hey, one of my friends is a god!
“I’m surprised everyone puts their faith in this extremely suspicious god… Maybe it’s just because they all believe there’s some blessings in it for them…”
“Yes, blessings are an utmost important point for a popular god.” Shalsha suddenly leaned over the table until her face was right next to mine. Seemed she really wanted to talk about this. As a mother, it was nice to see my daughter so passionate about something. “To start, blessings are generally divided into two categories. The first is blessings in life. This would include things like being saved from danger, or wealth and happiness.”
And finding lost socks.
“The other is blessings after death. This could be an invitation to a pleasant afterlife or being reborn as a king.”
If I didn’t die the way I did in my past life, would I still have been reincarnated as an immortal witch…?
“More than half of the popular gods bestow blessings that will help their followers in life. Most of them will grant the earthly desires of those who want to succeed in romance, want to be rich, or want to live a long time.”
“I think I’m getting a pretty vivid picture.”
Someone could promise you happiness after death, but it was a difficult thing to confirm. My memories of my past life had stayed with me, but that was probably an exception.
I’d met a flighty goddess who had reincarnated me in the highlands where I had come to live.
“So basically, the ones who are immediately effective are the popular gods, and the more orthodox ones are the traditional ones; is that right?”
“Yes. That is an adequate interpretation.” Shalsha nodded.
I’d learned a lot about the gods from her—and if we ignored the fact that they were tangible and people could see them with their own eyes, it was a lot like religions on Earth.
“But this Goodly Godly Godness holds a special peculiarity that has resulted in an influx of believers, which is that real-life encounters with her are much easier than they are for other deities.”
“Wow, you can meet them… Thanks for the explanation, Shalsha. I think I understand now. Okay, it’s almost bath time, so get Falfa, and you both can—”
“I’m hooome~!”
I heard Halkara’s energetic voice. Oh yeah, she’s home pretty late today.
She was holding an unexpected object in her hands—a Japanese rounded paper fan. An uchiwa. The frame, which had paper plastered over it, was made of bamboo instead of plastic.
“Wait, you have these in this world?”
I guess anyone could come up with them.
“Oh, we received these from someone who came to place an order at the factory. Wow, do I appreciate a big buyer!”
When I saw what was written on the fan, I almost squawked.
The words were in the common language: GOODLY GODLY GODNESS.
“Hey, what kind of order did the factory get…?”
“We were asked to make an energy drink that had the image of a god on the label. And it was such a large order, too. Boy, do I owe a lot to Goodly Godly Godness!”
It was like official merchandise…
“This is a sample product. There’s a picture of Goodly Godly Godness on the label, see?”
The image was of a goddess, but since it was a cutely deformed caricature of her, it was hard to see the details.
There was also a warning label on it.
“Oh, this isn’t a crooked sales tactic; we make no promises that this beverage will cure sickness… It’s just an energy drink…”
It didn’t seem like Halkara was being forced into taking part in a health fraud.
“The company will not take on work that poses any risk to us. This Goodly Godly Godness said miracles are determined by an individual’s virtue. By building up your virtue, it’s possible to make miracles happen.”
The religion of this popular god was choosing its words very carefully to avoid legal action, I noted.
“Oh, and this is a virtue stamp card.” Halkara pulled out a piece of paper the size of a business card. There was one stamp on it. “Since I was involved in making the energy drink, I received a stamp.”
It was the same as a stamp card that you’d find in a restaurant… The kind where you’d get a free donut after getting ten stamps.
Shalsha peered curiously at the card.
“Miss Halkara, now that you have this, does that make you a believer of Goodly Godly Godness?”
Oh yeah, I wondered how that worked.
“Oh, no. Goodly Godly Godness doesn’t want people to sign up for memberships.”
Do you really “sign up for a membership” with religion…?
“When the organization sees someone who has a lot of virtue, they automatically give them a card. You can also refuse it, but it’s not like you have an obligation to serve Goodly Godly Godness every day, so I took one.”
Halkara would be the type to collect point cards in her wallet.
I remembered going to the store while I was traveling once and feeling guilty taking a point card. It was almost certain that I’d never come back, so there was nothing I could do with it, but I also felt bad turning it down, so into my wallet it went.
“What makes Goodly Godly Godness so revolutionary is that even if you believe in a totally different god, she will still give you stamps for outstanding acts of virtue. So even the people who believe in other gods can still take the card because they won’t clash.”
I wanted to make so many comments about that, but it seemed harmless enough…
“Oh yes, and I hear Goodly Godly Godness will be coming to Nanterre’s capital, Vitamei, soon.”
“Wait, she’s actually coming?!”
Of course I’d be surprised. A god was coming. Santa Claus chilling out in front of the train station would be nothing compared to this.
“Yes. Goodly Godly Godness’s current MO is building rapport with the people, which is reportedly why she is traveling around. She’s gaining lots of believers by taking advantage of her ability to meet them directly.”
“Don’t tell me we’ve got another Kuku on our hands…”
Kuku the minstrel used to play under the name Schifanoia. Her shows were like watching someone in their edgy-teen phase.
“Mom, we would probably categorize Goodly Godly Godness as a pilgrim god. That would explain it,” Shalsha said, but I wasn’t familiar with the term.
“What does a pilgrim god do?”
“It is a type of god who moves from place to place without stopping anywhere. Take spirits, for example—some wind spirits are always moving around. Even when they’re asleep, they can move seven, eight times the distance a human can walk in a day.”
That’s like a typhoon… “So you’re saying that it’s not weird for Goodly Godly Godness to be traveling so much.”
“Exactly. And since Goodly Godly Godness isn’t hiding herself, you can easily behold her if you go to see her. That is very unusual, even among the pilgrim gods who came before her.”
Well, if you could meet an idol, I guess you could meet a god, too.
“Of course, direct observation is essential if you want to know the details.”
And direct observation of a god was possible for people in this world. Once the conversation got to that point, I could guess what Shalsha would say next.
“Mom, Shalsha wants to see a god at least once.” She got down from her chair, came to me, and tugged on my clothes.
“Oh, how nice!” Halkara interjected. “I’ve never met a god, either. I think the royal capital might have a few here and there, but they never show themselves.”
I was also interested in meeting a god. You don’t often get to see one in the flesh, and it had to be fate that one was coming nearby.
“All right, sure. We’ll go, then. I’ll ask the rest of the family, okay?”
For just a brief moment, the cherubic smile of a genuine child crossed Shalsha’s face.
“Shalsha is so happy.”
Yes, I was totally satisfied by that smile alone.
Surprisingly, the family wasn’t very into it this time.
Both Flatorte and Sandra said they weren’t interested.
Neither was Rosalie. “Gods and I don’t get along so well… A lot happened when I was cooped up in a building as an evil spirit…”
I wonder what happened…
As for Falfa: “Falfa is going to play with Sandra.”
Judging by this response, gods weren’t exactly a major presence in this world.
It was like, Hey, a comedian is coming to perform at the culture festival the college in town is throwing, wanna go? People who weren’t interested weren’t going to go. Maybe it was natural for them not to care about the god of a strange religion they didn’t believe in.
Laika also didn’t seem very interested, but she did offer to take us there and back, so we would have no trouble traveling. “Red dragons don’t believe in deities—no dragons do, in fact. I wonder why?”
“Maybe because dragons are like gods themselves…?”
I was just a touch uneasy, but Shalsha, Halkara, and I all rode on Laika’s back, after she’d gone into her dragon form, toward the provincial capital of Vitamei.
When we arrived, we immediately noticed a poster on the bulletin board that said GOODLY GODLY GODNESS IS COMING!
She really was announcing her arrival beforehand.
There were also people who looked like believers handing out fans (the same kind Halkara had) with the god’s name on them. I guess it was another way of inviting people.
“They certainly are enthusiastic~ She truly is a god on the rise!”
“I guess nothing about this is strange to you, Halkara. I’m getting culture shock just from this poster…”
But when I took a closer look at it, I became even more concerned.
“This is definitely fishy!”
Geez! I’m getting serious cringey holiday show vibes! I’m willing to bet this is fake!
“No, Madam Teacher! There might be fervent believers around here! You’re in danger of angering them if you speak ill of her!” Halkara, the properly socialized adult here, stopped me.
“No, wait… But a god as earthly as this is a little… Like, should we be listening to a plain old talk show…? There’s nothing divine about that…”
“Oh, I still haven’t told you a detailed history of the gods, Mom.” Shalsha came to stand right in front of me. “For a very long time, gods were treated as holy, divine things.”
I mean, aren’t gods holy and divine by definition?
“But at some point in time, people became critical of them. They said it was hard to feel any warmth from them when they acted so holier-than-thou, and as reports of scandals between gods poured in, people stopped believing in them.”
“‘Reports of scandals,’ what?! What do you mean?!”
That wasn’t a phrase you expected to hear in the same sentence as gods.
“Some words miraculously appeared carved into the walls of a temple—‘Dear Divine Protector of the North: Humans these days aren’t that faithful at all. A lot of them get stingy with their offerings. But on the flip side, you get people who think they don’t have to donate anything so as long as they have faith, and that’s harmful, too. You can’t run a temple without money. Money makes the world go round. Everyone knows that. Regards, Divine Protector of the West.’ It was thought to be the words of the Divine Protector of the West.”
Miracle? It just sounds like the casual complaints of a god to me…
“Shortly after that, another message appeared: ‘Dear Divine Protector of the West: You messed up, and it’s on the wall now…’ This confirmed that humans had seen a message from one god to another.”
Ahhhhhh! It was like when industry people had their e-mails leaked!
“A movement to stop believing in gods started gaining traction, and the divine fell on hard times. Many temples found themselves at a dead end in their business and closed.”
“Gods, what are you doing…?”
“Because of that scandal, everyone was critical. ‘We cannot trust the traditional gods,’ people said. ‘They’re only conceited because they’re traditional,’ ‘They don’t understand how the people feel.’ This created an atmosphere of distrust toward the old gods. They’ve been brought to the forefront again recently, but that was a heavy blow to them.”
I guess I could interpret this as a religious revolution. Corruption infected every industry once it had been around long enough; that was true in any world.
“And so popular gods were created in all parts of the world as a response to the traditional gods. In general, most of them have doctrines that give people courage with easy-to-understand, positive messages.”
“What they’re doing is kind of idol-like, making fans and stuff, but maybe that’s what religious revolutions are like.”
When it was too difficult to interpret the scriptures, only the small portion of the clergy who could understand them came to power, and that was another source of corruption. As a reaction to that, movements started popping up to make the teachings easier to understand.
“That is why Goodly Godly Godness’s teachings aren’t particularly odd. There are plenty of popular gods like this. Most of them are forgotten when their boom is over, but a subset of those gods goes on to introduce new traditions.”
Shalsha, I’m sure you don’t have any ill will, but that was a little harsh.
“Thanks, Shalsha. I certainly feel more knowledgeable about the gods now.”
Her face turned a bashful shade of red. Yep, she’s adorable.
“That was an incredibly rushed explanation, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you disagreed on some points or had other opinions. We have a book about it at home if you want more details: General Discussions on the History of the World’s Religions. It’s fifteen hundred pages full of information.”
“…Sure, I’ll get to that eventually.”
“Madam Teacher, that is most certainly something you’d say when you aren’t planning on reading it,” Halkara butted in.
“I—I never said I wasn’t going to read it… I’ll take a look at it when the mood strikes me…”
Fifteen hundred pages was a whole lotta book… More of a brick, really… I could use it as a weapon…
Putting the book aside for a second—
“So should we go and see Goodly Godly Godness’s talk show?”
Shalsha nodded eagerly. She was still really interested in it.
“But forty thousand gold for just one person… That’s pretty steep…”
“Lady Azusa, I will wait at a café somewhere until you are finished,” Laika said. Of course, one wouldn’t want to go to a dinner show put on by someone they weren’t interested in.
“It’s all right, Madam Teacher. It says in small letters on the poster that children get in for half price. So Shalsha can go for twenty thousand gold.”
“Does Shalsha count as a child…? She’s over fifty…”
Well, they didn’t word it as children under X age, so we weren’t scamming anyone. If the people operating the show saw her as a child, then she was a child.
We headed toward the Vitamei Grand Hotel, where we would find Goodly Godly Godness.
The Vitamei Grand Hotel was the hotel of the highest social standing in all of Vitamei; it was on a whole different level than the dirty inns that adventurers stayed at.
“She sure picked a nice place.”
“I wonder what she is like. I hear she’s beautiful,” Halkara said.
“Hmm. A beautiful goddess, huh…?”
I didn’t think it would happen, but I wondered if Pecora would come out onstage in a goddess costume or something.
The demon king appearing under the name of a goddess—that sounded like something the mischievous ruler would come up with. Am I being too cynical? I’m being too cynical.
Shalsha’s eyes were glittering eagerly at the prospect of meeting a deity.
In the hall were illustrations of a gorgeous woman who I assumed was Goodly Godly Godness. She was a beautiful goddess, just like Halkara said. She even had angel-like wings.
I had a feeling that I’d seen her somewhere before, but I couldn’t remember exactly. Maybe I’d met her somewhere, long, long ago…
I’ve been alive for three hundred years, so I’ve mostly forgotten everything before the last fifty. Still, meeting a god would be hard to forget. Maybe I was imagining things.
When we paid the believer who was working reception, she said, “We will use this money appropriately for our religious organization! Please rest assured that we will not use it for anything untoward! We will honor all requests for disclosure!”
“Lots of believers have been very skeptical lately, wondering if the money they give is actually being used for the organization and not for private purposes. Every religious organization is conscious of being transparent in regard to their use of funds.”
Halkara explained the industry’s common knowledge to me. Religious organizations sure had their hands full.
We were led to a round table meant for three. There was a small, raised area before us where the goddess would probably appear.
“I want to record what happens today.”
Shalsha already had a notebook and pen at the ready. She was very enthusiastic about her notes on this strange god, it seemed.
We waited for a little while before the master of ceremonies appeared before us. “We will now be welcoming Goodly Godly Godness to the stage. Everyone, please give her a round of applause!”
A whole bunch of people appeared, clapping their hands and even waving around their fans! Was that okay? Was that how we were supposed to act before a god arrived on the scene?
Then the curtains in the room all closed at once, and the room went dark. This really was a dinner show… Well, whatever.
The goddess was about to appear.
What sort of person (well, deity) was she going to be?
And then—
“Hello everyone~ Thank you for the introduction; I am the Goodly Godly Godness~ Let’s enjoy our time today and build up even more virtue~”
She was a woman who had little angel wings, someone I wouldn’t object to calling a goddess. I mean, she was now the only source of light in the dark hall.
Magic existed in this world, so I couldn’t immediately judge how godly she was, but there was a divinity about her. She spoke casually, though.
I definitely didn’t feel like this was my first time seeing her.
I’ve seen this god somewhere, somewhere…
Gasp!
“You’re the goddess who reincarnated me!”
I shot out of my chair.
Yes. Even though we only chatted for a short time, and my memories of over three hundred years ago were vague, the time around my reincarnation was significant enough to stick in my mind.
She was definitely the goddess from back then! She was the goddess who took a dead, overworked corporate wage slave and turned her into an immortal witch!
When I stood up, everyone turned to look at me. Including the goddess.
“Oh my, oh my…you’re… Could you be…?”
Yes! It’s me, Azusa Aizawa!
“Who were you again…? I feel as though we’ve met somewhere before… Perhaps you resemble someone else… But I feel like I saw you long ago… Oh, perhaps I’m imagining things…”
She forgot, too!
“Um, if I tell you my name is Azusa, would you remember? You turned me into a witch about three hundred years ago.”
“Oh! That Azusa, yes? Wow, what a coincidence! I suppose these things happen! Wow, I am so happy I came here today! Fate is a funny thing~”
The goddess placed her left hand over her mouth and waved her right hand back and forth.
It seemed like she recognized me. She didn’t exactly strike me as divine, but she was the real deal.
I could hear people murmuring around me, “She knows Goodly Godly Godness?”
More importantly, Shalsha was tugging on my clothes from beside me.
“Mom, you know Goodly Godly Godness? Tell me more later.”
Oh yeah, I guess that would be a surprise to her. Imagine a celebrity appearing on TV, and your mom suddenly says We were in the same class in middle school.
“Azusa, I know we have plenty to talk about, but we’re in the middle of the talk show right now, so let’s save it for later. Could you sit down, please?”
“Oh right. Sorry about that…”
I had no choice but to sit. I couldn’t cause a scene just because I knew the girl on the stage.
After that, the MC came back on, and the talk show started for real.
MC: So, divine Goodly Godly Godness, why have you descended upon our world?
Goodly Godly Godness (GGG): First, let me explain to you about us gods. In our world, there are several ranks, you see. The highest-ranking gods work in a place where they can supervise several worlds, not just one specific one. It’s like the people working at the head office of a company being higher ranked than those working at the regional branches.
Her example was way too mundane.
MC: Does that mean you’ve been dispatched to this world? You’re not that high-ranking, then, are you?
Don’t be so rude when you ask your questions, MC.
GGG: No, my position allowed me to supervise many different worlds, but I wanted to remember the importance of making connections with the people on the ground, so I descended upon this world once again. It reminds me of why I wished to work in the field. You can only see the people’s smiles from up close, you see.
MC: Wow, what a lovely speech! So lovely that I almost think you’re lying!
MC, shouldn’t you be a little more respectful to a god?
GGG: Mmm. And so I came down into this world, and for a while, I thought about what I could do to grant dreams and hopes to the people. That was when I came up with an idea.
Ooh. I wonder what it is.
Whatever she said would embody the spirit of this religion, I felt.
Goodly Godly Godness produced a small piece of paper the size of a business card.
GGG: I decided to make these virtue stamp cards and spread them around the world!
Oh yeah, I remember that card!
GGG: Performing many good deeds is not only a simple way to make the world a better place, but it is the most important thing to do. Picture this, if you will: If one suddenly decides they will save the world, that is honestly not something they can do. Moreover, one wrong move could even cause a war, you see.
MC: Ahhh, I see, I see.
GGG: That is why I was hoping to emphasize the smallest good deeds. But merely telling others to keep doing good seems hollow. So by using these virtue stamp cards and allowing you to see your progress, I thought it might be easier to find motivation.
MC: I see now. It does make me want to collect stamps.
GGG: Oh, everyone, please be sure to eat your meals. I’d hate for a perfectly good dinner to go cold. There is nothing wrong with eating good food and finding joy in that. Going out of your way to bring yourself suffering is just a form of self-righteousness.
Now, that sounded like a goddess!
GGG: Moreover, claiming how great you are because you survived some ascetic challenge is nothing more than an attempt to put yourself above someone else. You don’t have to believe anything those kinds of people say. There’s no reason to ask another to suffer just because you did.
What she was saying was generally right, but it wasn’t very…divine. Not that she’d ever been especially divine.
MC: From your perspective, Goodly Godly Godness, what do you think is wrong with the world?
GGG: If you are going to ask me to do something about the affairs of your world and your society, I am ultimately unable to do anything~ Therefore, I will refrain from commenting.
Should a god say something like that…?
Shalsha, by the way, was taking notes the entire time.
I peeked at what she’d written. GOODLY GODLY GODNESS ANSWERED SO: CONFUSING AND NEBULOUS WORDS ARE THE POISONS THAT CONFOUND THE PEOPLE. I HAVE CHOSEN TO STAY SILENT.
Wait, she didn’t really use that refined language.
GGG: Begin by doing one good deed a day. Beyond that, take a moment to listen to others–decide on your goals and start working toward them. The virtue stamp card was made to help people do this.
MC: That will fill out your card, then.
GGG: Yes. Notify your nearest believer and have them stamp it for you~
MC: So when you fill out your stamp card, what happens then?
Yes, I wanted to ask that, too!
But the goddess smiled and said this:
GGG: You receive the next card and fill that one out, too. There is no end to the accumulation of good deeds. Not until death.
When she put it that way, she was right. Life wasn’t a do ten good deeds, get three sins free deal. You had to keep on living virtuously.
Shalsha nodded deeply. “This testimony in favor of consistent virtuous action has left a great impression on me.”
Well, this was at least a good educational opportunity for Shalsha.
And so the curtain closed peacefully on the talk show.
I had feared her teachings might be more radical, but she only offered common sense. I could understand how that spread to so many people.
In the end, the goddess came to everyone’s table, chatted with them, and shook their hands…
“I hope you will continue to support Goodly Godly Godness~ I am Goodly Godly Godness; nice to meet you. Thank you for your continued support~ Yes, I am Goodly Godly Godness!”
Is she running for office or something?
Shalsha shook her hand feverishly. “This is my first time shaking hands with a deity. I will remember this for the rest of my life!”
“But be sure to wash your hands, okay? Dirty hands will make it easier for you to get sick~”
Common sense about this stuff, too…
And then the event was over, and just as the guests were headed home—
The MC came over to us.
“Azusa, was it? The goddess has called you to her dressing room.”
I was happy to personally meet a goddess. She was the only person (?) who knew about my past life, after all.
Wait, why does a goddess have a “dressing room”…?
I brought Shalsha and Halkara with me to the goddess’s dressing room and greeted her as she sat in her chair.
They told her over and over how much of an honor this was. It certainly was an honor, but their excitement levels reminded me of fangirls meeting their favorite TV star.
Then, after the goddess had offered an easy-to-understand answer to Shalsha’s academic question with a smile, she said to me, “Azusa, would you mind coming to another room with me?”
“Yes, Goddess.”
Perfect. I had a lot I wanted to talk about—but then fear suddenly overcame me.
She was the deity who reincarnated me, after all. She probably could control my fate, life, and death.
What if she told me I’d lived long enough? That it was time for me to be reincarnated into the next world…?
I really didn’t need to be thinking about this right now… But I didn’t have any way to prove to myself that she wasn’t going to do just that.
She was a god. I couldn’t possibly know what a god was thinking, and nothing was impossible for her.
In an otherwise-empty room, I stood face-to-face with the goddess. Seeing her again, I noticed she was overflowing with divinity and literal radiance.
“It has been a long time, Goddess. So…what is it you wanted to talk about…?”
Now that I was alone with her, I was nervous.
I could feel a sticky sweat trickling down the back of my neck.
I wanted to stay in this world forever. I threw away my old world surprisingly easily (actually, maybe not so surprisingly, given I lived as a cog in a corporate machine and died of overwork), but I didn’t want to throw this one away!
I had a big family and so many friends now. That had only begun in the last few years of my centuries here, but they were irreplaceable to me.
Please let this just be casual small talk!
Please let this be just like a girls’ chat on a night out!
The goddess slowly approached me, reached out—
And grasped my hand.
“Gosh, it really has been such a long time! I never thought we might meet this way! What an incredible coincidence!”
Oh.
She was more casual with me than I expected, so the conversation probably wasn’t headed in a more serious direction. For the moment, I was relieved.
“You’re not going to tell me anything unpleasant, right? We’re okay?”
“Of course~ The others might have been confused if we talked in detail about your reincarnation, so I simply brought you somewhere else.”
Phew, what a relief. My unease completely vanished.
And yes, all I’d really done so far was hint to my family that I’d been reincarnated.
Most of the people in the family were long-lived and didn’t really concern themselves with my past, and they didn’t suspect anything, either.
“Azusa, I am so happy to see you doing so well~ I’m proud of my own work here, too!”
I guess it was natural for this goddess to act so casual. In fact, maybe I could trust her more than a god who spoke with more gravity and depth.
“It’s thanks to you that I’m enjoying life. I want to keep on living here forever and ever, if I can.”
“Oh yes. Live as long as you like! Be it three thousand years or thirty thousand years!”
Just like that, I had her permission.
Over the course of those three thousand years, I’d probably see fifteen industrial revolutions in this world…
“But Goddess, why did you decide to descend on this world? There are plenty of other worlds, right?”
I was aware that this world was a rather fun one, but I was also aware that I was a little biased as a longtime resident here.
“Oh… Is that your question…? You really want to know?” For some reason, the goddess smiled wryly and scratched her cheek.
What, is there something she hasn’t told me…?
“This is just between you and me, Azusa. Not a word to anyone else, please. Remember, you are promising a goddess. You will keep your word, yes?” she murmured, leaning in close.
“I understand. I won’t breathe a word of it to anyone, as a promise to a goddess.”
I hoped it wasn’t anything terrible like the looming apocalypse or something. Please don’t turn my life into an action manga and make me fight to prevent the end of the world…
“Actually, you see… I was demoted. I’m only the site manager of this world. Oh, how embarrassing~”
There it was—one of the top three things a company employee never wanted to hear.
“What do you mean by ‘demoted’?”
With an exasperated look, I took a step away from the goddess.
“Exactly what you think it means. They deemed my work problematic…and made me spend some time here in this world. So perhaps I’ll see you around.” The goddess briefly bowed to me.
Since she was a deity, I bowed back. “What did you even do to get demoted…? Did you destroy a world…?”
“Oh, stop~ Do I look like I would do such a thing? Of course not. You have such a terrible imagination. It was more peaceful than that~”
“You’re right… I don’t think that’s something you’d do, Goddess… But a god must have done something radical to get demoted…”
I didn’t think she was embezzling public funds or anything, at least. Did gods have public funds?
“Please don’t tell anyone else, okay?” She placed her index finger to her lips in the classic it’s a secret pose. Again, very casual. “Remember when I reincarnated you, and I said I had a habit of indulging women?”
“That was three hundred years ago, so my memory is hazy, but I think I do remember something like that…”
It made sense; otherwise, I wouldn’t have become the immortal witch that I am.
“Well, that was deemed gender discrimination~ I was demoted from heaven to a specific world~!”
Y’know, you’re right—that is discrimination!
“Then when you said you volunteered to come down yourself, you were lying?!”
What about what she said during the talk show?!
“Yes, an outright lie. If I told the truth, then I might not get any more male followers, you see? They might think I’m a god who gives preferential treatment to women.”
“I understand what you want to say, but should a god be telling lies…?”
I had a feeling that was something she definitely shouldn’t be doing…
The goddess placed her hands on both my shoulders and said:
“Rules are meant to be broken.”
“A god definitely shouldn’t be saying that!”
Okay, I know I probably shouldn’t be snarking at a goddess, but come on! I’m even forgetting to be polite!
“Oh, don’t be so stuffy.”
“Don’t you think not caring is kind of a problem?!”
“I am serious when I say I will slowly accrue believers in this world and work to make it a better place! The origin of this goal hardly matters. The process is more important!”
I was finding it harder and harder to think of her as a god at all.
“By the way, is Goodly Godly Godness your real name?”
“No. I am a goddess, so I thought I’d mix it up a bit.”
“You’re just making things up!”
I didn’t really know how to describe the feeling I had when it hit me that this was the god who gave me the life I had now.
But at the same time, I could say that it was because she was so irresponsible that I got to live this laid-back life for three hundred years. I mean, her favoritism toward women let me be an immortal witch… And I was in no position to outright deny her…
“So I hope to see you around in this world, Azusa. I’ll come to you if I run into trouble!”
“No, wait, that’s supposed to be the other way around! People go to gods when they’re in trouble!”
I had no idea if I could deal with any troubles a deity might have, so I just hoped she’d figure it out on her own.
Then the goddess handed me something. It was a virtue stamp card with three stamps on it.
“I’ve given you one stamp for coming to today’s talk show and added two for keeping my secret.”
“These all just benefit you!”
After that, Shalsha and Halkara kept asking me what we talked about.
“Well… She encouraged me to keep working hard…”
I technically wasn’t lying, but maybe lying was actually fine. I mean, the goddess didn’t seem to have any qualms about it.
“I knew it, Mom. You are a woman of great caliber.”
Shalsha looked at me with envy.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d called me: “a woman of great caliber.”
That goddess wanted to look good, so instead of saying she was demoted, she said she wanted to better the world and came on her own accord…
Does that make her a goddess of small caliber…?
That said, though, the truth of her demotion wouldn’t help anything, so maybe she allowed lies that contributed to others’ happiness. Then again, that allowance was being applied to the deity herself, so maybe thinking about this whole question was totally pointless.
“All right, Laika is at the café, so let’s meet up with her and head home. I’m more tired than I thought I’d be…”
The fatigue was mental—maybe from disenchantment.
“I thought so. Speaking directly to a god must be spiritually taxing. You can rest for today, Mom.”
“You’re such a sweetheart, Shalsha!” I drew her into a tight hug.
The goddess did give me the opportunity to meet such an adorable daughter, so I guess I did owe a lot to her.
Shalsha hated me at first, but we now had a loving mother-daughter relationship.
Yes, it was just as the goddess said—it didn’t matter where it started. The reality that Shalsha and I were happy now was most important. Yep. I’m just gonna agree and leave it at that.
“Madam Teacher, could you hug me later, like you did Shalsha?” Halkara asked, although it was a strange request.
“Why…? You’re not my daughter…”
“Why not? Hugs melt away fatigue. Just every once in a while, please!”
“Okay, then just a little…”
She was insisting on it, so I gave her a brief hug that involved a lot of chest.
“Sigh~ So healing~”
“I’m getting kinda angry for some reason… Why are they so springy…? Are you upping your defense stat?”
Since I did what Halkara asked me to, I decided I deserved another little check on Goodly Godly Godness’s virtue stamp card.
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