WE VISITED THE REAPER
That day, I had been invited into a terribly strange space.
By “strange space,” I didn’t mean something out of a science fiction story or cyberspace. It was a spot along the main street that might exist in any town.
So what was so strange, you ask?
“Gah! Another person passed through me and the table!”
It gave me the creeps, and I shivered.
This felt a lot like…when you went to get your hair cut and the scissors got really close to your head…
“Aww, Azusa, you are having such a tough time adjusting, aren’t you~? You know you can’t enjoy your relaxing teatime like that,” Godly Godness said to me, smiling softly like she was watching me learn how to ride a bike.
“Indeed. You must lack dignity if you find yourself panicking over a trivial divine miracle such as this,” Nintan, who sat next to Godly Godness, said casually. (Well, there were three of us sitting together, so we were all next to each other.)
“No, no, come on! We should’ve had our tea in a place with less traffic, then! People just keep passing by—passing through us!”
As I argued, another person walked straight through Godly Godness.
The weird space we currently occupied was apparently infinitely closely overlapped with my usual world, but just slightly misaligned, which meant that the people passing by couldn’t see, hear, or touch us.
I wasn’t a god, so I didn’t know the details. And contrary to what I’d expected, I had a feeling the gods didn’t know, either. It was like a bird that could fly without understanding the exact mechanisms that allowed it to do so.
And so people passed straight through us as we drank our tea.
Maybe they didn’t have a problem with it, considering they weren’t aware of us in the first place, but having strangers constantly occupy the same space as me made me squirm.
“I’m getting really distracted. Shouldn’t we have met up in a place with less people?”
“Azusa, you just don’t understand~ It’s a divine privilege to be able to people watch while drinking tea like this~”
Godly Godness looked smug.
“I’m not a god, so I can’t really say I get it, no.”
If I did, I think that would make me pretty arrogant.
“Azusa, the divine are ever present in the world, though you may not be able to see them. This is considered part of a god’s job.”
Strangely enough, Nintan agreed with Godly Godness.
“Ah, that woman wears clothes much too gaudy for her age. She looks as though she is trying too hard to look young, which is instead making her seem much older. That young one over there appears to think he can pull off those expensive clothes, but they do not suit him. Instead, the clothes are wearing him.”
“You just want to play fashion police.”
“Hmm, that man lives in a distant village, yet he has come all the way here to do his shopping at the cheap market. Considering the energy he will use getting here and going back, We believe he should have done his shopping at home; though We suppose We could understand if he was playing a game with himself where his goal was to purchase something for one hundred gold cheaper.”
“Your people-watching observations are too detailed.”
You’re probably wondering why I’m having tea with the gods.
Well, earlier, when I had finished doing the shopping in Flatta and returned to the house, I suddenly heard Godly Godness speaking to me in my head.
Azusa, Nintan is having a teatime, so I want you to come along, too. This will be a tea party, by the way. Teatime is more fun with more guests! And it would be awkward if we ran out of things to talk about at the party with just the two of us!
After yelling “Is it a party or a teatime?! Can you please pick one phrase to describe it?!” I was suddenly shunted across time and space, ending up here.
I may be working with a small sample size, but gods tended to be really pushy…
The only other deity here besides Godly Godness was Nintan, so I had a feeling that Godly Godness had summoned me simply because she didn’t want to be alone with Nintan.
Godly Godness was generally very casual, so their personalities tended to conflict.
And neither seemed like they wanted to budge or accommodate the other…
That said, now that I was here, they seemed to be getting along as they chatted; maybe Godly Godness’s self-consciousness about having to deal with Nintan had dissipated.
“You seem to have grown accustomed to this world, Godly Godness.”
I’d been thinking the same thing—it was natural for Godly Godness to act as a deity here now. Nintan rarely ever gave her kind words, so the compliment this time rang true.
“There are many deities to whom I haven’t introduced myself yet. I still have a long way to go.”
Oh wow, it was unusual for Godly Godness to humble herself like that.
“We wouldn’t say that. You showed up at the previous divine drinking party. We believe that was an effective way of introducing yourself.”
So gods had drinking parties, too…
I really hoped they were special—and a little more awe-inspiring than normal drinking parties.
I had strangely mixed feelings as I sipped my tea. The tea, by the way, was unusually good. Not only had it been brewed with flawless technique, but it was probably made from the tastiest water in the entire world.
“Oh, no. Those who come to drinking parties are those on the sociable end of the spectrum to begin with, so I would have met them eventually. The bigger problem is those who don’t like drinking parties—how am I supposed to introduce myself to them?”
The problems they were discussing sounded awfully human…
“Without meeting the loner types, I would say my completion rate is still around forty percent. You know how in games there are easily obtainable characters—and then rare characters who rarely show themselves? It is a lot like that.”
“Hey! Do not liken them to game characters! That is rude!”
I thought it was perfectly acceptable for Nintan to get angry about that.
This was the reason Godly Godness always got turned into a frog.
“But it’s true, isn’t it? For example, I have not yet met this world’s god of death.”
That shocked me.
“Um… So there really is a god of death…?”
A god of death—a reaper, was a terrifying being. They took people to the afterlife.
I imagined the deity as a skeleton clad in a black hooded robe, carrying a scythe.
That said, I wanted to believe that a reaper couldn’t hold the spirits of the dead forever since we had the concept of reincarnation…but I didn’t know anything more than that.
Unfortunate souls caught by the reaper might be taken to a place equivalent to hell. Even I only remembered dying and getting reincarnated once.
Maybe most dead were taken to hell by the reaper, where they were made to work like corporate drones for decades, and then reincarnated afterward.
Being reborn was nice, but getting stuck in hell would be…well, hell in every sense.
“Ah, you said god of death, did you not?”
It sounded like the god of death was a special being in Nintan’s eyes, too. She hopped on the topic fast.
“Don’t most places have gods of death? There might be some differences between worlds, but they seem to be ubiquitous based on my experience.”
Godly Godness had casually dropped some tremendous lore on me.
“The god of death, hmm. We have one in this world, yes, but she is an odd one.”
Nintan had basically confirmed the god’s existence.
Then she sipped some of her tea, making a really loud slurping sound.
I wasn’t sure if that was considered good manners or not.
“After all, she has spent a very, very long time writing a book. When will it be finished?”
“She’s writing a book?!”
That didn’t sound like a very divine hobby.
“Yes. She has been writing for far too long; We informed her that the best way to leave one’s mark on the world was through literature, and she has been writing ever since.”
Maybe it was too early to start making assumptions, but that seemed like an eccentric hobby for a god.
“In which case, shall we drop by and say hello now? We know where she lives. We believe she should have some interaction every once in a while.”
It almost sounded like Nintan was asking if we wanted to drop by and say hi to a friend who lived in the area, except the friend was the god of death.
Were we going to be okay…?
At the end of the day, I was still terrified of meeting the reaper. I bet it would be hard to find someone who wouldn’t be.
“Um… I know people say I’m the strongest in the world, but I’m still human, so…this god of death isn’t going to suddenly steal my soul or anything if we meet her, right?”
“Fool. We would not suggest popping in for a casual visit if she were indeed that dangerous.”
Oh, so Nintan had been aware of how casual she sounded.
“Oh, yes, yes! At times like this, we should hop straight to it!” Godly Godness was waving her hand around. She really didn’t take anything seriously! “Life is full of fleeting hellos and good-byes. We should see people when we get the chance!”
I wasn’t really sure if gods without the concept of death should use maxims like that.
Oh, well. If it was really safe, I guess I could tag along…
“All right. I’ll come along with y—”
“—ou.”
The moment I gave my answer, we were transported to a bleak patch of land.
“With your permission, We have teleported us. This is where the god of death lives.”
“That escalated quickly!”
We’d arrived before I’d even finished my sentence. I could have said I’ll come with you later or Tomorrow. What then?
“Oh my, this place does not look very exciting at all~” Godly Godness’s gaze was sweeping the area.
I bet a local might get angry if they heard her insult their home right after arriving for the first time, but it was so desolate here that I wasn’t even sure if locals existed in the first place.
There was nothing to suggest the presence of life anywhere around us, and the ground at our feet was dried out. There looked to be a rocky mountain in the distance, but I could tell at a glance that there were no grasses or trees on it.
Even if there were locals around, they probably couldn’t boast about how amazing the scenery was.
“I guess this does seem like the kind of place a death god would live… It’s so desolate…”
To be honest, I probably never would have come here if these two hadn’t brought up the topic.
Even if you were to visit, there didn’t seem to be anything to do. There probably weren’t very many herbs around for potions, either.
“This place is colloquially called the End of the World. We would not have come if the reaper did not make her home here. No human that believes in Us resides here, after all.”
So the gods did ignore places without any worshippers.
“The reaper lives at the foot of that mountain. We have already teleported here, so we may as well walk. This is a rare chance for Us to walk.”
Maybe Nintan put us far away from the reaper’s house to begin with so she could get a good look at the area.
It was very considerate, in a way. Had she teleported us right next to the god of death the moment we agreed to go, I know I wouldn’t have been ready. I probably would have lost it.
“Got it. If you see anything interesting during our walk, be sure to point it out.”
“This is such a good idea~ I haven’t been doing enough aerobics lately, so I appreciate the opportunity!”
Both Godly Godness and I agreed, and we all started walking.
One hour later.
We were still walking through the wasteland.
“It’s so far away! And the scenery has barely changed!”
That mountain was a lot farther away than I had thought…
“Of course. This location has been recognized as the most boring place on the planet. Its official name is the Empty Wastes.”
“That’s kind of mean.”
“Roughly six tourists come every year to experience the nothingness.”
“That’s one person every two months!”
Godly Godness had seemingly succumbed to boredom not too long ago, and now her eyes were glazed over as she floated in midair. Being divinity gave her the power of flight. I could float, but not fly around freely.
Just then, I spotted some kind of sign standing in the middle of all the emptiness.
“Hey! Evidence of civilization!”
“What are you doing out here, Misjantie?!”
Actually, the real question was What were you doing out here?! No way she got any worshipers in this place. I doubted anyone would want to hold a wedding here, either. Even locals would probably want to hold their wedding somewhere else.
This seemed like a typical example of a store opening too many branches and having to close them again.
“Oh my, Azusa! There are so many signs here!”
Godly Godness had suddenly come back to life. Compared to the sheer nothing we’d been walking through earlier, any kind of thing was exciting.
I went to look at a nearby sign.
This place was closed, too! And now that I looked closer, I thought I saw the remains of some buildings.
It looked like there were ruts in the ground over there. And another sign, too.
The carriages had shut down, too!
Everything here was already over and done with!
“I’m shocked public transport used to come here! I wonder if there really were people around to use it?”
“Yes, exactly. I was wondering the same thing. Did people used to live here?”
Nintan nodded. “At its peak, seventeen people lived in the Empty Wastes, but the number slowly dwindled, and the population eventually vanished. The wave of rural depopulation even managed to reach this corner of the planet.”
“I think this might go beyond rural depopulation. Why were they living here in the first place…?”
“A hermit seeking out the most isolated areas once wrote in a book that this was the most remote place in the world. After that, it became well-known among the hermit community, and the region continued to attract more and more hermits.”
“Doesn’t living somewhere famous go against the hermit lifestyle?”
I would have expected them to pick a place where they could live in hiding, away from the world’s gossip.
“But there were apparently a great number of problems—for example, they needed to pay exorbitant import fees in order to obtain water, so only the hermits with considerable economic power could live here for extended periods of time. Nowadays, the vogue among hermits is to hide away in mountains close to big population centers.”
“It seems a little backward for hermits to be so concerned with convenience…”
“We are not a hermit; therefore, We cannot speak to their ways. And either way, hermits are a shallow bunch who like to tell others, ‘I live an exemplary lifestyle away from earthly matters.’”
It sounded like hermits were about to get some divine criticism.
“To be honest, We care not for hermits, since they do not give much in the way of offerings to Our temple.”
“That’s too honest!”
“But they are the sort to write things like that.”
Nintan pointed to a paper plastered on an empty house.
“I don’t think these people have an enlightened bone in their body!”
“That is their way. We do not mind a materialist, but We are much happier with materialists who will donate lots of money to Us.”
If I had known how shallow hermits were, maybe I’d have become just as judgmental.
Meanwhile, Godly Godness was looking around the empty lands.
I wondered if there were many interesting discoveries to be made here from the perspective of a god.
“If the next person I reincarnate asks for a quiet place, I think I will put them here~”
“That’s horrible! Don’t do that!”
They would be lost from the moment they reincarnated.
That was like when you made a deal with a demon in exchange for a wish, only to get something terrible that follows the letter and not the spirit of your request. That happened a lot in fables. It was definitely not something a god should be doing.
“Now we are approaching the reaper’s house.”
Nintan pointed toward the mountain.
It was finally getting closer.
At its base, I could see what looked like a little house.
“Once the residents were gone, the reaper started existing in a physical body. We believe you will see her right away, Azusa. Rarely does anyone come visit, you see.”
“I’m sure you’re right… I doubt anyone has good reason to come here…”
Now that I knew where we were going, I picked up my pace.
And finally, we arrived at the house where the god of death supposedly lived.
“It’s so normal. Way too normal…”
At a glance, there was nothing frightening about it. The outside looked a lot like a human’s house.
I had been hoping for a garden at least, but plants were probably impossible to grow here since it was kind of a wasteland. Shopping seemed like a hassle, but this was a god we were talking about, so it was probably not an issue.
“Gosh~ They probably don’t have many believers~”
“Hey, no rude remarks,” Nintan reprimanded Godly Godness.
It sounded like a number of believers served as the basis for acting superior to other gods.
“There is an old saying that goes: Be rude and you shall be turned into a frog.”
“You’re the only one turning people into frogs!”
This goddess was trouble because she always wanted to turn people she didn’t like into frogs.
“Anyway. Let us say our hellos.” Godly Godness stood before the door and bowed twice. She then knocked twice on the door. Finally, she bowed once again.
“It’s like you’re praying at a shrine…”
She must have been doing it as a joke, since that wasn’t a custom in this world.
“Gosh~ Well, she is a god, so I thought it might be a good way to summon her~”
Then, not long afterward, the doorknob moved.
The reaper was finally going to appear…
I sincerely hoped she wouldn’t be the terrifying kind of reaper I was picturing…
Please don’t be a skeleton in a black robe…
What emerged was hair.
Not a single strand of hair, of course; it was a whole clump of hair.
It looked like a marimo, a round clump of algae, that had grown too large and could no longer retain its spherical shape.
Did she not have a human form? Was she some kind of fuzzy creature? It wasn’t like gods were required to take on human forms.
And then…two pale hands poked out from the ball of hair.
That startled me!
I was reminded of a scene from a horror movie.
The two hands started to part the hair. Soon, a face and body emerged from the clump. Apparently, this ball of hair was actually a girl.
Physically, she was even smaller than Sandra, but the sheer volume of her hair made her appear larger than she actually was.
“Ah, it is good to see you, Reaper. We have brought along a new god and an acquaintance,” Nintan introduced us briefly. Her tone suggested she and the reaper had some rapport.
“…Okay,” the reaper replied, her voice barely a whisper.
The fact that she was holing herself up here probably meant she wasn’t very good at getting along with other people—or other gods, as the case may be.
Godly Godness and I gave our own brief introductions. Godly Godness was casual, as always, but I was a little nervous since I was speaking to a god of death.
“…Hi. Am Ost Ande.”
She spoke very quietly and seemed to be making every effort to say as few words as possible, even dropping the “I.”
“You do not attend our drinking parties, which is why We have brought along the newcomer. Have a chat. Try to talk about something interesting.” Nintan was making some pretty unreasonable demands.
“…If you’re okay with simple conversations. Nothing is here, but come in.” The reaper spun around, and her mass of hair whirled after her. She looked like a cryptid when her body was hidden in the hair…
“Oh, yay! Don’t mind if I do~ ” Godly Godness nonchalantly sauntered into the house, and I followed along behind her.
It was the first time in my life I was visiting the home of a reaper.
Inside was a room with a simple wooden table. The table was cluttered, and there were several bottles lined up on it.
“…Don’t really have drinks.”
It was like the hair itself was talking.
“Oh, don’t worry about it! You’re a god, so why would you have human drinks lying around?”
“Alcohol on the table… Drink whatever you want.”
Every single bottle on the table had an absurdly high alcohol content.
She was more of a degenerate than I had imagined!
But she was a reaper…so maybe she was supposed to be like this?
“Gosh, then maybe I will~”
Godly Godness pulled a cup seemingly out of thin air and poured some alcohol into it. She really went for it whenever she was given permission.
And as she was drinking, I heard the hair ball speak.
“’m the reaper… That’s it.”
……
Was that really it? Her whole introduction, over already?
I guess she did say herself that she was the god of death, so maybe it made sense for her to bring a swift end to the conversation. But even so, wasn’t that a little too swift?
“Apologies… She rarely communicates with other people. We cannot trust her to take the reins herself, so We will guide the conversation…”
If nothing else, at least I’d discovered some things about the god of death’s personality.
“Come now, Ost Ande. Show Us what it is you are interested in.”
“…Okay,” Ost Ande replied, her voice barely louder than the buzz of a mosquito.
The reaper then disappeared into the next room over, dragging that massive volume of hair with her.
“In a way, this reaper strikes me as very reaper-like, Azusa. I am relieved!”
“What? How is she reaper-like?”
“Well, if the reaper were a more energetic or ambitious sort of person, she might start trying to collect as many souls as she could. If she started harvesting the souls of people who were still young and healthy, complications could arise. It’d be like in human society, when salesmen start relying on high-pressure tactics or even fraud to inflate their numbers.
“The more I talk to you, Godly Godness, the less dignified the gods seem to me.”
It might help if she stopped comparing them to humans.
“It is better that she does only what is required of her and nothing more. And that is why most reapers are people like her.”
“I kind of get it and kind of don’t…”
So black-robed reapers like in my imagination were actually pretty rare.
After a while, Ost Ande came back.
Bundles of paper were wrapped up in various parts of her hair.
“That’s…an avant-garde fashion statement.”
“…Read whatever you like,” she said.
I plucked one of the bundles of paper out of her hair, wondering what she meant.
“You’ve been applying to writing contests!”
Come to think of it, someone did mention she had taken up writing. But it was kind of unexpected that she was submitting her manuscripts.
“Is that what yours says as well, Azusa?” Godly Godness asked. “This sheet of paper has the name of a new novelist award along with a book title. The comment says, ‘It’s common for the reaper to be the heroine, so please find something more original. Otherwise, try to write about something based on your own experiences.’”
Could it be that she was sending applications to every contest she could find?
“Ost Ande has been pursuing the path of the novelist for about five hundred years now, as a means to kill time, and has applied to new novelist awards all around the world,” Nintan explained.
“…Writing about the reaper has been done. Been telling me that for five hundred years,” Ost Ande muttered.
I didn’t know a whole lot about the writing world, but it sounded like when the reaper wrote about her own life, it always ended up sounding clichéd.
Maybe a writing career wasn’t in the cards for her.
“…Have seen so much death that I’m bored of it… Thought I might be good at writing, started applying…”
Ost Ande paused to take a breath—probably because she hadn’t spoken so much in quite some time—and took a swig directly from one of the alcohol bottles.
Maybe she was a little bohemian, after all…
“…Phew. But submission after submission…they kept telling me it’s ‘too common’ or ‘not realistic enough’…”
Even though it was, indeed, extremely realistic for her!
What a tricky situation. She couldn’t tell them the reaper herself was the author, and it wasn’t like they’d believe her even if she did.
“…Got no results, wanted to crawl into a hole now and then…”
With a strange rustling sound, Ost Ande vanished into her own hair. Hey, that’s not a hole.
“Wait, come back out! Hiding won’t solve anything!” Nintan yelled, and Ost Ande reemerged from her hair with that rustling sound again.
She wasn’t particularly cheerful to begin with, but the depressing topic seemed to have upset her.
Maybe she was depressed because things hadn’t been going her way for so long.
“…Hair got in my mouth.”
“That’s your own fault.”
Nintan was right. Wait, was that why she looked sour?
“We knew you had been writing novels, but it has only been five hundred years. Your efforts will surely begin to blossom if you stick with it for another five thousand, fifty thousand years.”
That was the kind of consolation that only worked on a god; Nintan patted Ost Ande on the shoulder (?). Everything was covered in hair, so I wasn’t sure where her shoulder actually was.
At any rate, I couldn’t help but feel like fifty thousand years was a little too long.
“…Okay. Will keep trying for another fifty or five hundred thousand years.”
And she just added another zero! That time scale was almost impossible to imagine for a young’n of only three hundred like me.
“Besides, you have been doing this for five hundred years now. It has become a solid hobby for you. We see no problem here.”
“…Was my intent.” Ost Ande nodded.
Obviously, she wouldn’t have kept at it for five hundred years if she didn’t like it.
“Other gods have said they would begin writing poetry, yet they give up on it after a few decades.”
That still sounded like a pretty long time! Usually people gave up short-term hobbies after days or months…
The gods sure measured everything on a different scale. Even their values seemed to be different…
Godly Godness tapped my shoulder. “Look at this, Azusa. She has a saying taped on the wall to motivate herself.”
Put Some Soul into It
“That phrase has a slightly different nuance when a reaper writes it…”
But that reminded me of something I had been wondering about. And since it’d crossed my mind again, I decided to ask.
“Um, Your Divineness, Ost Ande?”
“…Just call me Ost Ande. I don’t take souls in a way that warrants worship. Please don’t be so deferential.”
I guess she wasn’t the type of god to act high-and-mighty. Though of course she was, being a god and all.
“Ah, well, Ost Ande, then…what does your job as the god of death entail?”
She was still the reaper—writing books wasn’t her job.
I hadn’t heard a peep about her actual profession.
“…Sign things. Goes quick.”
Her voice was barely loud enough for me to hear. She then dragged herself and her hair over to the next room.
When she came back, she had more papers curled up in her hair.
“Shouldn’t really show you this, but…whatever.”
She flipped through the documents.
“I really don’t think you were supposed to show me this…”
I never thought I’d see something like this with my own eyes. The atmosphere right now was so relaxed I would probably forget all about it, but depending on the situation, this kind of revelation could quite literally cause someone to lose their sanity.
“I see~ The god of death has a lot of authority in this world~ You can even choose where a soul is reincarnated~” Godly Godness had experience in this field, so she was nodding, impressed.
“Ah, what was it like in my previous world, Godly Godness?”
“Reapers carried souls to me like machines over there. That is why I was able to reincarnate you to another place under my jurisdiction. If the reapers had been allowed to decide, you might have been reincarnated as a dung beetle or something.”
“I’m glad we didn’t have that system, then.”
I was suddenly very happy that it had been Godly Godness who’d picked where I’d be reincarnated.
“But the life of a dung beetle is quite fun. Imagine just how alive you’d feel while rolling up that dung. A pretty good life, I’d say.”
“But they roll up dung. I’m just glad I’m here, where I can express my opinion.”
“—In short, Ost Ande simply gives her approval on things. It’s been a long time since she took part in the actual business itself.”
Well, I guess that made sense. You stopped working in the field once you got important enough in any job.
“…Have lots of free time. So I write.” Ost Ande nodded again.
“I see, so your job lets you work on a hobby at the same time.”
“…But there’s one drawback.” She started shrinking back into her hair. Maybe she was embarrassed.
Before she could completely vanish, however, Nintan grabbed her hand.
Nintan really knew how to handle her.
“Do not shrink away with every twinge of embarrassment! You mentioned the drawback; now you must state it. Do not bring it up if you do not want to tell Us. Do not leave Us wondering.” Nintan was really nitpicky about stuff like this. “Be proud of yourself. You are, after all, a god. Carry yourself with confidence.”
Ost Ande nodded in understanding. “…Showed the manuscript to subordinates. They said that souls weren’t handled like that anymore. Was old fashioned… Said if I’m gonna write about it, I should do some research…”
So her depiction of reapers was unrealistic, after all!
She’d gotten so important that she no longer knew what happened on the job!
Nintan took one of the manuscripts and started flipping through it.
“Your recent works are terrible. These are nothing more than retrospectives on your own work. No narrative arc. This is not even a story anymore.”
“…Rrrgh! Also got a comment that said, ‘This is the kind of thing a recent retiree would submit to a rising novelist competition. Please send us a story, not an autobiography’…”
Ost Ande was about to shrink back into her hair. She was clearly mortified.
“Ah! Do not attempt to hide every time you speak! Oh no! She’s gone!”
Ost Ande’s body had once again been subsumed into her hair.
With a sigh, Nintan turned to us. “As you can see, she cannot grow as a person without occasionally speaking to others. Now and then, we bring acquaintances over to meet her. This time, that happened to be you.”
Godly Godness nodded. “I see~ I suppose that was the reason you invited me to your teatime all of a sudden~ I was wondering why you would want me at a tea party.”
“Can you settle on whether it was a time or a party, already?”
I suppose that meant Nintan, in her own way, was concerned about this god named Ost Ande.
I guess she had a softer side, too.
“Sure. I’ll help out, if there’s anything I can do. Not sure what that would be, though.”
“Serve as a conversation partner to this hair ball. That is more than enough.” Nintan glanced over at the perfectly still clump of hair. “We doubt she will emerge anytime soon. Shall We drink whilst We wait?”
Delighted, Godly Godness whipped out another cup from nowhere.
I guess it would be more difficult for Ost Ande to come back out if we kept talking to her.
That said, it was pretty surreal to have a big hair ball in the same room with us…
About fifteen minutes later.
As we slowly sipped our drinks, Ost Ande finally emerged from her hair.
“Well? Have you calmed yourself?”
“…Apologies. Say what you want now; can handle it.” Ost Ande slowly nodded.
“That’s it!” Godly Godness exclaimed. “You should send in your most embarrassing autobiographies! Just say it’s fiction, and it’s fiction!”
“…Nope, still embarrassed.” Ost Ande tried to shrink back into her hair.
“Godly Godness! No! Do not traumatize her! Now We will have to start all over again!”
“Whaaat?! But she said she could handle anything we said, and yet I’m responsible…?”
“Someone with as little tact as you must always consider their words before speaking, no matter what the other party says! Come back out, Ost Ande! Help Us pull her out, Azusa!”
“Me?!”
With the two of us pulling, we managed to get Ost Ande out.
We had made almost no progress, and I was already exhausted…
“…Sorry. ’m okay now. Over it.”
At this point, I wasn’t very convinced, but I had no choice but to believe her.
“…Can withstand anything you say about my stories. Those submissions are in the past. Working toward greater heights now.”
Oh-ho! Could this be genuine?
I thought I saw a bit more determination in her face.
“Ah, you must have finally resolved to write outside of your own experience. Or you could simply mix some fiction into stories drawn from experience. Perhaps something about the exploits of a mysterious hair ball monster.”
Nintan was right—if writing only about being a reaper was the problem, then all she had to do was find another subject.
But as it happened, Ost Ande’s determination had turned in an…unexpected direction.
“…I see the truth now. Submissions that win awards cannot be called art. True art is work that no one can understand. It’s cutting edge.”
She was getting even worse!
“…Submitting manuscripts is a sign of weakness. Am different from those bound to preexisting rules.”
“This is bad! She has started to reject her inconvenient reality!”
“You could’ve worded that a little better, Godly Godness!”
But it was true the reaper was displaying some troubling behavior. It sounded a lot like she was trying to escape her problems.
“…Am currently doing something much more meaningful than putting words on paper.”
A lock of Ost Ande’s hair grew and curled around our arms.
Why was she suddenly acting like some kind of demon?!
Was she attacking us?! Godly Godness had said some traumatizing stuff, after all… Maybe she saw us as working together…
“…I want you to look at my work.”
“Oh, that’s what you meant…”
It was nice that she was eager, but she didn’t have to demonstrate it like that!
“Apologies, both of you. This hair ball is not good at communicating how she feels…” Nintan bowed her head.
Gods had to work hard on their inter-deity relationships, too.
“It’s okay. I can see that you’re determined, too, Nintan.”
We went outside, Ost Ande dragging us along with her hair.
The solid, stony mass of the mountain loomed before us.
Ost Ande’s house was at the foot of the mountain, so we had naturally all noticed it—but the way Ost Ande was gazing up at it suggested it had some significance.
“It’s a big rock~ Nice and sturdy.”
“That’s not much of an opinion, Godly Godness… Though, I can’t say I know what this rock is called, either.”
There were other masses of rock sticking out around us, but I couldn’t tell the difference between those and the one we were looking at.
“…Look.”
Just as Ost Ande spoke, she released us. Being tied up with hair wasn’t a very fun experience, so I was glad to be free.
Ost Ande then moved toward the rocky mass.
Incidentally, since her feet were covered in hair, it looked less like she was walking and more like the hair ball itself was sliding across the ground.
“Hey, Nintan? What’s she about to do? I can’t even guess.”
“We do not know. As far as We are aware, none of these rocks has any spiritual significance…”
As Nintan and I spoke, Ost Ande came to stand at the foot of the mountain.
“…Going up.”
Vwooooom!
There was an eerie noise as her elongated locks of hair slithered up the mountain.
“Whoa! That’s terrifying! Her hair is moving like tentacles!”
This was incredible!
Ost Ande’s body slowly rose up, like a freight elevator.
“Ah, it seems she is digging her hair into the rock to pull herself up~” Godly Godness said cheerfully. “Must be a rocky r—”
“Uh, can’t gods fly?”
“Azusa, you just interrupted my joke, didn’t you?”
Oh, she was going somewhere with that, wasn’t she?
There were two kinds of people in the world: Those who thought up puns but didn’t want to say them aloud, and those who immediately blurted out any pun they came up with. Godly Godness was clearly the latter.
“She probably can fly, but it may be the hair ball goddess’s personal preference not to do so. A god who makes use of their power will find themselves able to do anything, you see~ But I suppose I do know a goddess who was unable to exterminate mosquitoes, so perhaps that isn’t the case.”
“Mmm, We sense someone’s desire to become a frog.” Nintan glared at Godly Godness.
I kind of had a feeling that Godly Godness had said that because she wanted to be turned into a frog.
It wasn’t long before Ost Ande reached the top of the rocky mass.
“What is she planning to do up there? Yell out her feelings?” Godly Godness wondered aloud.
“As a god, she’s already lived a long life; I doubt she would do something so childish…”
That said, I still didn’t have a clue what was going on.
“Hmm, there is something written on the rock face. Looks like grammar from a millennia ago,” Nintan said, shielding her eyes.
She was right; I did see some kind of writing there…
“…Will use a reaper tool.”
Ost Ande reached into her pocket (well, her hair, to be precise) and pulled out an item with a dark, metallic luster.
It was…a scythe!
Exactly what I would have expected a reaper to have. I was still unsure what she planned to do with it, but it probably had something to do with harvesting souls.
Was she going to do that now? If so, I wasn’t keen on watching something scary…
“Godly Godness? If things take a turn for the worse, I’m going to close my eyes right away. So tell me when it’s safe to open them again… I don’t like scary stuff…”
“Okay~”
I know I was the one who asked, but her reply was so casual I didn’t trust it.
Ost Ande didn’t raise her scythe into the air, however.
Gshink! Gshink!
Instead, she dragged it across the rock face, making a scraping sound.
Gshink! Gshink!
What did this mean? I doubted the mountain was filled with fossilized souls…
I looked at Godly Godness.
“Well, I’m stumped!” Her answer lacked so much as a shred of divine dignity.
“What are you doing, Ost Ande~?”
I called out to Ost Ande as she stuck fast to the rock face. It would be quicker to ask her directly.
“…Carving sentences… No, writing a novel.”
She was writing a novel?!”
“…Writing on easy things like paper lacks soul… So decided to carve it into the rock.”
That would take ages!
“…Wasn’t all that long ago people started writing things down on paper. Could only use clay tablets and rock long ago… This is the traditional style!”
“But that will take such a long time,” Godly Godness breezily pointed out. Tactless as ever, she had no problem cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
She was right, though. If Ost Ande had to exert herself to write one letter, then she would need a long fuse to withstand the years and months it would take to write a whole novel.
But when Ost Ande turned to look at us, she was grinning.
It was like she was trying to tell us that she, too, could smile like this on occasion.
“…Can keep going for five thousand, fifty thousand years. It’ll be done someday.”
I wasn’t sure why, but I found this very touching.
Even if it was going to take an unimaginably long time to complete, so long as the one doing the activity had the will to see it through, then it would be done someday. She would finish it.
“…Am going to carve the highest story in the world on this rock,” she said, then continued to scratch her scythe into the stone.
“Let us return home, then,” Nintan said, the calmest she’d seemed all day. “We can pay another visit in thirty years’ time. If she has quit by then, We may laugh at her for her lack of perseverance.”
“I’d say carving into a rock for thirty years straight would give anyone the right to brag, but I guess that’s nothing for a god…”
“Regardless of the time spent, what is important is whether the story is interesting. And even more important is whether the hair ball is enjoying herself.”
I was sure Nintan’s heart had been warmed to see an acquaintance of hers carving out a path for herself. The look in her eyes was so gentle.
“Yeah. If she’s found meaning in her life, then that’s all there is to it.”
Nintan had been worried about her acquaintance, but now the reaper was on her way toward a lofty goal.
Ost Ande might not have many chances to meet with or talk to other people in the future, but that was a trivial matter as long as she had her own objectives.
When I looked up at Ost Ande, however, a thought crossed my mind.
“I happen to know a spirit who’s a part of the art world. Are gods and spirits naturally drawn to the arts?”
I was talking about Curalina, the jellyfish spirit.
“When one lives a long time, one tends to gravitate toward hobbies that last. If one involves oneself in a fad, then often everyone will move on too quickly.”
“Right… It’d be sad if everyone else stopped playing your favorite game…”
Suddenly, I could no longer hear the echoing kthoom, kthoom from behind me.
At some point, we’d been transported back to our tea table.
“We have caused you both much trouble today. It seems like her problems are already solved. If that was the case, she should have said something earlier. We needn’t have worried. We may as well turn her into a frog.”
Nintan finished the remaining tea in her teacup. It was still good, even though it was cold.
“We just met the reaper and had a little chat with her. It wasn’t any trouble at all,” I said.
“Indeed~ You are usually so indifferent, Nintan, that it was a delight to see you so concerned for your coworker~ ”
“Become a frog.”
Godly Godness, having gone too far, was turned into a frog.
A few days later, when I was having my after-lunch tea at home, Beelzebub came in.
“Come on, you’re always dropping by with no warning. Couldn’t you have sent a message beforehand?”
“I have a question I must ask you.”
Her face told me there’d been some kind of trouble…
“Do you recall the adventurer who chanced upon the Thursa Thursa Kingdom and published a book about it?”
“Yeah, the guy who just happened to show up when Flatorte was freezing the plants?”
He’d come during Rosalie’s two hundredth death anniversary, too.
“He has published another one, about somewhere completely different—the End of the World, apparently, and I thought you might be involved, so I came to confirm.”
I had a bad feeling about this.
“I wasn’t directly involved, so it can’t be my fault, okay…?”
“It sounds to me like you were up to something quite recently.”
Beelzebub looked dubious. Hopefully, she understood the idea of innocent until proven guilty.
“It’s not like I told her to do anything. Really, she’d already done it… Actually, we might be talking about totally different things here, so why don’t you give me the details? I’m probably just overthinking it.”
“Aye. The title of this pamphlet is The Secret of the Empty Wastes.”
“Oh… It’s exactly as I feared…”
Beelzebub looked dubiously at me again. I mean it; none of this was my fault!
But I should probably read the book first.
—The Empty Wastes: a land in our country now entirely forgotten. It was once coveted by hermits seeking the most isolated place to practice their asceticism, but only traces of human civilization remain there now, giving the place an even deeper aura of loneliness.
The carriage lines leading there were done away with an age ago, of course, and the only way to reach this place was to walk two whole days from a village called the Empty Wastes Gates. It is too distant to be called a gate, but that simply illustrates how vast and wild the Empty Wastes are.
“I guess nothing’s happening because it’s still the beginning. But seriously, why does he always come to places like this? How much time does he have?”
“People have all sorts of hobbies. Keep reading.”
—The reason I decided to visit the Empty Wastes is because this land serves as the stage for many a legend about the god of death.
Long ago, the reaper was said to have made his home here, managing every soul across the world—these myths have been passed down in the region around the wastes for generations. I decided I would see those myths in action with my own eyes.
Long ago? But she’s still living there…
—After two days of walking, I finally arrived at what used to be a village in the Empty Wastes. As the name suggests, it was empty.
I have traveled to many a hair-raising, terrifying place, but here alone did I experience the feeling of vast, endless nothingness.
I wondered if he had met Ost Ande.
If I recalled correctly, she was so convinced no one would show up that she didn’t bother to hide herself.
—Then I saw it. The one thing present in the Empty Wastes: the stony mountain.
And I was dismayed to learn that it was covered in horrific, wretched text!
“Hey! He read the story carved into the mountain!”
“Who on earth is writing in a place like that? ’Twould be quite a lot of trouble if he thought a demon did it.”
I understood how Beelzebub felt, but Ost Ande was a god, so I couldn’t really stop her…
—The text was written in a language in use a millennium ago, carved into the rock face with a sharp blade.
Here is what the text said, translated into today’s speech:
I am the one who controls all death in this world. But to put death into words would result in an emptiness unknowable to any other. Therefore, I shall record all the details I experienced while harvesting souls.
Yeah, reading that with no context would be a shock for sure.
First, I ask the details of the soul’s circumstances. I then listen to the soul’s demands. Afterward, I send the soul to its designated destination. When I do, I double-check with others to make sure that all is correct. It is quite the hassle to change someone who has become a cow into a pig, so we must be diligent.
“It’s so clerical!”
It wasn’t terrifying at all! To be honest, it just sounded like she was talking about a normal job.
Though I grow tired at times, hearing words of thanks from the souls gives me the motivation to work another day. Their gratitude fills my heart with energy. Perhaps I have worked so hard and for so long simply to hear those words.
“Now, that’s cheesy!”
Was this kind of thing why she couldn’t win an award…?
But what about this was “horrific, wretched text”? Did this adventurer just write things like “It was frightening beyond description” and call it a day?
—The latter half of the text I was unable to parse, but what was the meaning of these words, supposedly written by the one who controls death? In my shock, I found myself unable to move. As I stood rooted to the ground, I felt as though I would lose all sense of time itself.
Yet I managed to produce a pen from my pocket and began to copy down the writing.
At that moment, however, I felt an odd presence behind me.
Standing there was a creature—human or beast, I was not sure—covered entirely in hair.
It was no taller than a toddler, and every strand of its hair writhed, like each was a separate being!
That had to be Ost Ande!
—One of its hairs reached out and coiled around me.
I was certain that I was its prey. That was the first time I felt genuine fear.
But instead, the indescribable creature spoke.
“…Dost thou edit writings? Yay or Nay?”
She was asking if he was an editor!
—“No, I record my travels in books and publish them for the world,” I replied.
“…Then thou shalt introduce to me the one who edits your writings.”
“Oh, no, I self-publish, so I don’t have an editor!”
“…Then I have no use for thee.”
I have no memory of what happened after that. When I came to, I found myself collapsed at the Empty Wastes Gates.
What was that hair-covered being? Was it somehow related to the one in the Empty Wastes who claims to control all death?
She was trying to network for an editor!
It sounded like she still had a lot of regrets about those awards. I guess it was awfully human of her to struggle with that. Even if she was a god.
I slammed the book shut.
“What on earth was it? There is no demon such as this,” Beelzebub pressed.
Hmm… Should I really go around talking about the gods to whoever asked?
Well, it wasn’t like I was told all this was off the record, so it was probably okay.
“That hairy creature was the reaper.”
Beelzebub looked at me, astonished. “Why would the reaper be a hairy monster? The reaper wields a scythe and flies around on the darkest of nights collecting souls.”
“I didn’t realize the demons had such a stereotypical image, too!”
Beelzebub didn’t seem to believe me, but she didn’t ask any more about it, so that was that.
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