WE TRIED TO VISIT THE WORLD’S THIRD-MOST-INACCESSIBLE SAGE
Even after the UFC symposium came to a close, Beelzebub remained in the house in the highlands and had dinner.
Incidentally, Muu and Rosalie were chatting in another room. Goodly Godly Godness was listening to Canimeow vent in an establishment somewhere in Nascúte.
“Falfa and Shalsha should indeed study at a university. They should apply to Vanzeld.”
“Don’t make them go to a demon university just so you can have them lodge at your place.”
“Hmph. I said nothing of the sort, Azusa. I was just about to bring that up.”
So that was her intention anyway.
Well, I understood the feeling of wanting to shower Falfa and Shalsha in praise after all their hard work; I’d allow that, but I wouldn’t let her take them away to the demon lands.
There was no need to move them from an invigorating environment perfect for raising children into a crowded city. And now that I was thinking about it, I wondered if my life would have been any different had I been raised in an unpolluted highland. Well, not much use thinking about it now…
“Are you all done? Then I’ll bring the sweets out.” I slowly stood from my seat at the table.
“You aren’t fooling anyone.”
Beelzebub, you didn’t need to point that out.
I placed some edible slimes in front of Falfa and Shalsha, although they were bigger than the normal portions.
“Wow! Falfa didn’t know they could get so big!”
“This must be four times bigger than normal… This could satisfy any big eater…”
They were both shocked. Surprise, success!
“Heh-heh. I got the inspiration from Halkara’s edible UFCs. There’s enough for everyone, okay?”
“Lady Azusa, I know this is a bit brazen of me, but…could I have five if there are enough?”
“I, Flatorte, want five, too.”
But they were still too small to fill the hungry dragons…
“I’ll manage extras somehow, so sit tight, okay? We’ll have one each for now.”
For a second, I thought I saw an ink-black edible slime—but no, that was just Smarsly. It was sitting on the corner of the table.
Right—Beelzebub had brought it along, so it was still around.
“Smarsly… We didn’t think about you bringing these out. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Smarsly slowly turned its body side to side. That probably meant no.
“Ah yes. I believe Smarsly has something to tell you. Give it a quick look, please.”
Beelzebub spoke up and stuck a cloth to the wall—it had squares with letters lined up in a grid. I guess that was the simplified keyboard for it. Like a laptop…
“I shall explain. I—invited—by—third—sage—Outofreach—Island—take—me… Mm-hmm, ah, I will explain later, so, Azusa? Get those edible slimes ready.”
Beelzebub was being rather blasé about this, but I wasn’t exactly being the most professional, either. I brought out the edible slimes.
Smarsly seemed somewhat tired after slamming itself against the wall so many times… The poor thing seemed a bit limper than it had when it arrived at the symposium.
“Hey, are you okay? I can cast a recovery spell on you.”
Smarsly then slammed against the wall again. “It is trying to write out Yes, please.”
“I’m trying to make it better, but it’s only making itself more tired!”
I cast the recovery spell, and Smarsly perked right up. Good, one less thing to worry about.
“So, Beelzebub, what did it want to say, then? I kind of put it together, though. The world’s third-greatest sage invited it over, and it wants us to take it to where the sage is, in Outofreach Island?”
“You said it all. That is correct!”
Smarsly leaped up and sat on Beelzebub’s lap. Like her pet.
“I shall tell you the details, however. From what I heard previously from Smarsly, there are reportedly three great sages throughout the world. One is Smarsly, and one of the other two has invited it to visit.”
“I had no idea it was such a great person…” Laika placed a hand to her mouth in shock. I was surprised, too.
“Hey, Shalsha, do you know of the three great sages?”
Shalsha nodded. “The three great sages Shalsha knows of are Sanali in the village of Ansel, Hins the Old, and the great Kinnins.”
“Hmm, I don’t know any of them… Wait, Smarsly wasn’t one of them!”
Now it was Falfa’s turn to raise her hand. “The three great sages Falfa knows are Atern the Fast Reader, Coboon the Peruser, and Toltorn the Sleep Learner.”
“All these people have epithets. And Smarsly still isn’t one of them!”
Y’know how sometimes people know they’ll never be the best at anything, so they come up with a random category to be a “top three” of? Is that what this was?
“And Falfa knows there are many different ways to choose the top three sages, so it’s not defined. Some people still count sages that others don’t, so there are over three hundred of them.”
“So…it’s not the top three anymore…”
If we narrowed it down to the top sage in the world, a bunch of people might try to claim the title for themselves, but broadening the range to three would make it harder for those people to insist they belonged.
Then Smarsly started slamming against the keyboard on the wall again.
“Oh, what’s this? Additionally—I—am—one—of—the—three—most—difficult—sages—to—meet—I—am—not—easy—to—find. That is what it said.”
The three most difficult sages to meet!
That was an extremely specific category.
“Smarsly is very difficult to see, if I recall correctly. First one must go to the demon castle, then find the underground entrance…,” Laika mused.
Smarsly was basically like an Easter egg.
“Allow me to continue. Outofreach Island, similarly, is one of the three most difficult islands to visit. The currents in that area are most unique, and no ship can get close to it. Smarsly received contact from a sage living there.”
Ah yes, I knew that currents could make navigating to certain islands very difficult.
“I, the great Flatorte, can get there from the sky!”
“There is a barrier surrounding the island, so one cannot enter from the sky. A small clan of pirates once used the place as their base, you see.”
It sounded mega fishy to me, but Beelzebub’s explanation did make sense.
Pirates knew the tides and currents well, so it made sense to pick a place their enemies couldn’t get nearby.
“So one of the three most difficult sages to meet lives on Outofreach Island, and Smarsly wants us to take it there?”
Smarsly rammed the YES symbol on its keyboard. I needed to give it more yes-and-no questions if I could… I felt bad making it do all that slamming.
“Indeed. But as I told you before, you cannot fly there on a dragon. The only way is on a boat.”
“A voyage, huh?” I commented. “Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a boat.”
Nanterre Province was landlocked, so that was a given. I’ve been to seaside towns before, but our usual method of transport was dragon.
“I’m really interested, and I want to lend a hand since Smarsly helped us once, but…if the currents are as bad as you say, then it’s dangerous. Worst case, we could get in a wreck or capsize. I don’t really want to bring the entire family into that.”
Falfa and Shalsha looked disappointed, but this was no sightseeing cruise. They needed to think of their safety first.
“The ship will most definitely capsize if I’m on it, so I’ll stay home!” Halkara declared.
“Well, we can’t say anything for certain, but I applaud you for distancing yourself from any danger!”
I would be terrified for her if she got on the ship.
Even if we didn’t capsize, she’d probably throw up at some point on the voyage. If not from seasickness, then definitely from alcohol.
“My, this is turning out to be a strange trip. We cannot bring too many people. I shall be Smarsly’s caretaker; things will work out if we bring you along, Azusa.”
“You decided I was coming along without telling me…”
It felt like Smarsly was looking at me. It wanted me here, didn’t it…?
“Fine, fine! I get it; I’m going! Just let me gather some people who know the ocean better than I do, okay?”
“Aye, I do not mind. I shall ready the boat. Demons do not know much about them, so I will do a bit of research.”
And so, it was settled—I was sailing to Outofreach Island.
But a question suddenly came to me.
“By the way, how did the sage from Outofreach Island contact you?”
Had they communicated via magic?
“A bottle containing this letter drifted to shore.”
“How the heck is this person a sage?!”
My desire to go had dropped by about 40 percent.
“And the date on the back says it’s from over ten years ago…”
“Aye. It has been all over, finally reaching Smarsly. A miracle, essentially.”
“Uh, this isn’t going to turn out to be a prank or something, is it…?”
Maybe it was a joke and learning the truth would only hurt Smarsly.
“This paper is made from plants native to the region around Outofreach Island, though. No one would go through that much trouble for a joke. And any prankster would attempt to write in a more sagely manner. This dunderheaded writing style only makes this more credible,” Beelzebub explained.
“You’re right!”
To be honest, I wasn’t so interested in meeting someone who genuinely wrote like this, but that was ultimately Smarsly’s decision.
I’d made a living off slimes for a long time, and now I was going to travel for one.
I hopped on Laika and came to the port town of Hiralinar, where I was meeting Beelzebub and the others.
Laika herself wasn’t coming along for the rest of the trip this time. “The southern weather is so nice out here.” She seemed ready for a resort vacation; that’s how warm it was.
“It is. I bet a place that feels this wonderful has few suicides!” Rosalie commented, shattering any resort vibes immediately.
“Oh, but there’s a murdered ghost on the street over there. I see, those sailors had an argument over love. One of them forgot himself here on the island and had an affair.”
“I didn’t really need to hear any of that, Rosalie…”
I had Rosalie come along this time because I thought she’d be a hearty companion to have on a seafaring trip. She was the only one from the family to come along. She wasn’t at any risk of dying anyway.
“I’ve got you, Big Sis! If I find any ghosts who died in wrecks, then I’ll be sure to listen to what they have to say!”
That’s right—I figured there would be lots of ghost sailors about, so I decided to have Rosalie act as our go-between.
Also, if we ended up finding the spirits of any pirates who made their base at Outofreach Island, then we could ask them for directions.
“I wonder if the others are going to show up soon.”
“Oh, Lady Azusa, isn’t that Miss Curalina? The jellyfish spirit?” Laika was pointing.
I followed her finger to see Curalina, lying faceup on the wharf. I had invited her this time, too.
“What are you doing, Curalina?”
“Fine art. Jellyfi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fine art.”
Was she making fun of artists?
“Lying down helps me envision death and inspire my creativity. Jellyfish-fish-fish…”
“All right. Do as you like, then. But please don’t deliberately try to sink the ship for the sake of your art…”
I invited Curalina because she herself lived on an island and because she was the spirit for a marine animal.
And she’s apparently lived for a really long time, so there was a chance she knew a lot about Outofreach Island. If not, well…we’d get to that later.
As I sat absentmindedly with Curalina, Beelzebub flapped in, carrying Smarsly.
“Ah, you are all here. I have the boat ready.”
“Did you find a good one?”
“Indeed, a perfect choice. I hired one most suitable for our journey today.”
Beelzebub gave me a thumbs-up, so I decided to trust her.
And then, when we went to where the ship was anchored…
We found a ship shrouded in black mist, its mast broken and full of holes…
“It’s a ghost ship!”
“I’m surprised you could tell, Big Sis. That is indeed a ghost ship. It’s swarming with spirits!”
I didn’t need to know that!
“Ghost ships will not sink after running aground. A spectacular idea, no? This is the Specter No. 7, by the way.”
I was really glad I didn’t bring along the rest of the family for sightseeing…
“Lady Azusa, Miss Rosalie, I give you my best wishes… I cannot handle this, so I am relieved I am not coming with you…” Laika smiled with a pale face. I really had picked the right people…
“Yeah, I’ll try to bring back some gifts for you if I can…” I stepped onto the ghost ship, wondering if I would be okay.
Sailors working on the boat were rushing around, except—
“Talk about a skeleton crew…”
And I mean that literally—they were skeletons, walking around and wearing uniforms. This was a genuine ghost ship, it seemed.
“Wow, Big Sis! They’re so animated!”
“Oh god, don’t call them that… Oh, what do you think, Curalina? I want your honest opinion.”
Inviting someone along only to put them on a ghost ship was kind of a terrible thing to do, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was upset. I’d be furious. Even without the skeletons, this whole ship was in awful shape.
“It’s so…good…”
A broad smile crossed her face. I’m not sure I’d ever seen her make that expression—or any expression at all, in fact.
“This place feels like the embodiment of negative emotion… I have such a strong urge to create right now that I can hardly contain it… I need to paint…”
She was fine!
Guess I hit a home run with party selection this time around.
“Well, now that we’re here, we may as well say hello to the captain.”
We all followed Beelzebub. She showed no signs of fear toward anything on the ghost ship, probably because she was a demon.
“I bet the captain’s a skeleton.”
“No, absolutely not. Skeletons cannot get boat licenses.”
“It’s a legal problem?!”
“Yes, but ’tis very important. The human lands do not allow skeletons to get boat licenses. Our captain will be someone else.”
Maybe it was discrimination against skeletons, but I wouldn’t be so keen on taking a boat if I saw a skeleton driving it…
“So, Sis Beelzebub, does that mean this ship is fully licensed under the human kingdom?” Rosalie asked.
“Of course. If not, then it would be illegal simply to dock here. Why would we cause trouble among the humans over such a thing?”
I’d never heard of a law-abiding ghost ship…
It felt contradictory, like a gang that obeyed traffic laws to the letter.
As we chatted, we came to stand before the captain’s office.
Beelzebub knocked. “Captain? We are all here, so we came to say hello.”
“…All riiight, very weeell.” That was quite a drawl.
For a brief moment, I thought the one who emerged from the room was a human woman with brightly colored hair, but I could immediately tell I was wrong.
Her lower half was that of a fish. She was a mermaid.
“Hellooo, everyooone, I’m your caaaptaaain, Imremico. I turn fooour hundred and twenty-threeeee this year. I will drive saaafely to your destinaaation.”
The merpeople in this world were long-lived, too. It made me think of the myth of Yao Bikuni in Japan, too—although, that was more about a girl eating mermaid meat and then living to eight hundred years old herself… But I guess if that power was in their flesh, then of course the merpeople would live long, too.
We all introduced ourselves. Well, when you really thought about it, we had a ghost, a spirit, and even a Smart Slime with us, which made our party kind of unique. Maybe a mermaid captain was the perfect thing for us.
“Captain Imremico has been in charge of Specter No. 7 for many years.”
“Ah, I muuust mention, I changed the name because of bad luck; now we aaare the SS Heavenbound.”
That also kinda sounded like we were going to capsize and die. That had to be bad luck, too.
“Anyway, what made you want to be the captain of a ghost ship?” Might as well ask.
There was a brief pause.
The captain had a very laid-back kinda vibe, so it took a bit of time for her to start talking.
“I am a meeermaid, so even if we capsiiize, I wouldn’t diiie.”
“That just means the passengers are at risk of dying. I wish you hadn’t told me that…”
Were we going to be okay on this ship? Beelzebub had said that a ghost ship wouldn’t sink, but could I trust her?
“Aaand I’m a bit slooow, so I don’t really fit iiin with the fast-paced liiifestyle of seaaaafolk. I am peeerfectly content with my skeeeleton crew.”
“Oh, I can definitely tell.”
People who worked out on the sea would probably hate someone this easygoing. Even though that was just a question of individual sensibilities, I didn’t think she was suited at all for this career.
“Nooow then, since you’re all heeere, I have something veeery important to tell you, so pleeease listen.”
What was it? Maybe ghost ships really did have their own problems…
Captain Imremico then handed us a little booklet.
Was it a waiver? Was she telling us she didn’t care if we died?
It was like a real boat!
“I’m a ghost; do I have to read this?” Rosalie asked.
“Ohhh, I am ooobligated to run through all this with my passengers, so I would appreciate it if you liiistened.”
After that, we sat in chairs and listened to Captain Imremico’s leisurely lecture; Curalina and Beelzebub fell asleep.
They really needed to listen, but I could understand why they got sleepy.
“That’s aaall. I’m dooone.”
It was finally over…
“And nooow, let me tell you about the shooops…”
“This ghost ship has shops?!”
“It is a looong journey, so we sell driiinks, sweeets, craaab, and other things behind here. But we charge ship prices, so they are mooore expeeensive than on land.”
It was feeling less and less like a dangerous journey by sea that I needed to mentally steel myself for.
But this sure was one heck of a first boat journey…
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