WE INVESTIGATED WHETHER WE CAN GO TO THE MOON
“You must have some ideas, right? We can try each suggestion you have one by one,” said Canimeow.
I hung my head. I didn’t have a mirror, but I was sure I had a tense smile on my face. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, smiling is all you can do. “…I don’t have any.”
“Hmm? I didn’t hear you.”
Don’t make me say it again! I should’ve just said it louder the first time around!
“I don’t have any ideas! We can’t go to the moon!”
“What?! You don’t? That can’t be true, right? You must have something?”
Canimeow grabbed my shoulders and shook me. Shake me all you want; nothing’ll come out. I’m already empty.
“I mean, it’s the moon… It’s not really realistic to just go straight up…”
“But it’s your job to do something about that! Help me! Make me into the moon spirit I’m supposed to be! My identity’s in danger!”
What she was asking me to do was much, much more difficult than trying to defeat the most legendary monsters.
By the way, I did ask Falfa, a resident expert in the natural sciences, if there was any precedent for going to the moon. Points for effort, right?
She’d replied, “No one’s been before~”
I also asked Laika and Flatorte, “What would happen if a dragon flew straight upward?”
They told me that when you reached a certain point in the sky, the air got so thin, you would suffocate.
Though this was a fantasy world, it seemed as though we needed oxygen to live. Low oxygen levels in the upper atmosphere were the same as on Earth. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be any plants or human communities like back on Earth.
Still, Canimeow wouldn’t be satisfied if we didn’t at least try some things.
“Canimeow, this is a big project. We need to get some research in. We’ll take baby steps together!” I cobbled together some optimistic sentiments.
“Okay! We will go to the moon! I will be the first to go to the moon from this planet!”
Please don’t start making a bunch of idealistic proclamations. You’ll get upset again if it’s completely impossible…
“But to be honest, I know it’s probably practically impossible to get to the moon.” A sad smile suddenly crossed her face. “But I wanted to do all I could first to concretely know that it isn’t possible. I hate saying what is and isn’t when I don’t know the details.”
“Oh, Canimeow…”
So she was aware of it all along.
“…Then why didn’t you say something to Wynona back then?! We could’ve avoided all this!”
“I couldn’t! I was too embarrassed in front of everyone else! All I could do with those slime spirits was yell at them!”
And in the end, I was the only one at the whims of other people!
“Sigh… We’d have to ask a god if we wanted to go to the moon…”
Wait.
Hold on a second.
Why don’t we ask a god?
Canimeow and I hopped onto dragon Laika’s back and headed for the Grand Nintan Temple in Nintania.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Nintan, who had served as a goddess in this world for a very long time, knew a thing or two.
But when I first told Canimeow we were going to meet a god, she was shocked.
“What?! You’re not supposed to meet gods, right? I mean, they’re gods!”
“You’re a spirit. I could say the same for you…”
What was the difference between gods and spirits in this world anyway? I had a feeling the only thing that was different was how they were ranked.
Gods didn’t usually live in the physical world, visible to everyone, so I wondered if that was it. It wasn’t like wandering around Nintan’s temple would have you bumping into her. And while it changed from spirit to spirit, there were some who led lives that were practically human.
But Godly Godness had appeared in corporeal form, so that way of dividing them wasn’t totally applicable… Maybe I should just treat her like an exception… It wasn’t like she was originally from this world anyway. She was like an exotic species.
The pond at the Grand Nintan Temple, once the site of mosquito-and crocodile-related troubles, was now neatly maintained. It felt good to see the results of our work.
“Yes, it’s a refreshingly nice garden now!”
“You certainly like gardens. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s old-fashioned and kind of tame. I think it’d be better with a crocodile or two in the pond.”
“No! Don’t you dare waste our efforts!”
We’d had to drain all the water in this pond to restore the environment here, you know.
“So we can really meet this goddess Nintan just by showing up at her temple?”
“Yeah, we should be able to.”
We entered the temple and faced the goddess Nintan’s bronze statue.
“Uh, you know that’s a statue, right? We can’t say we’ve met her like this. Her believers might have some spiritual experience and get the impression that they’ve met her, but…”
“I’m telling you, we’re going to see the real thing right now.” I took Canimeow’s hand.
“Huh? Is there a rule that two people have to hold hands together here?”
“No traditional reason. I’ve just heard that we could run into some trouble if we let go before we get there, so just hold on tight for a while, okay? I can’t help you if you end up lost in that weird space.”
“Um…I don’t entirely understand what you’re saying… Do you think you could put it into simpler terms…? I’m not one of those fortune-tellers who trick people with spiritual jargon.”
It felt weird to have this spirit fortune-teller treating me like I was the fishy one.
“Sure. We’re jumping into the statue. It’s fine. It won’t hurt.”
“What?! Jumping into a statue would hurt! We might even get punished for it!”
I ignored Canimeow’s protests and leaped.
Next thing I knew, we were in the space with all those magic circles floating around us.
It never felt like I was standing on a real floor here, which was kind of unnerving… It was like flying down an escalator…
“Okay. You can let go now.”
Canimeow was staring in amazement. I guess it was surprising to see at first glance, even for a spirit.
Standing before us was Nintan.
I’d have felt pretty stupid if she’d been out today, so I was glad she was here.
“Ah, Azusa. Hello.” Nintan’s greeting was rather casual considering how she was a literal god, but her face immediately clouded over. Something was bothering her. “We must ask you to not bring third parties into Our home too often. We are not the type anyone may pop in and see.”
Ah, she thought I wasn’t taking her status seriously. I knew how that felt. I wouldn’t like it if someone found out I knew some gods personally and started bringing their friends over because of it.
“Just this once, then? For a special occasion. And she’s a spirit, so you can let this go, right?”
“Hmm, We understand. A spirit who has been born relatively recently.”
Gods were quick to catch up on this stuff.
Meanwhile, Canimeow was shaking in her boots. “Uh, I… Thank you…for…all your hard work…” She sounded like she was talking to her boss at her part-time job. Even spirits were frightened in the face of deities.
But Nintan’s expression started to darken even further. “What? The moon spirit? Another rare sort… What element are you…?”
Even the goddess was perplexed!
Still, if she could instantly tell this was the moon spirit, there was a possibility my idea would work.
“Nintan, Canimeow here is the moon spirit, but she’s frustrated because she has no powers that actually relate to the moon itself. So I want a way to get her there, if possible,” I said earnestly, staring right into Nintan’s eyes. I’d helped her once before, so I was sure she would cooperate.
“Well… To put this mildly, We doubt there is any way to get there…”
“Are we totally out of options now?!”
This was going to be much more difficult than I’d imagined…
“We know little about the moon—only that it is a sphere that orbits this world.”
“What?! Aren’t you a god?! Don’t you have control over logic?! Take her there, at least for one second!” I grabbed Nintan’s hand and vigorously shook it.
“We are not being stingy, nor are We unwilling! We do indeed intervene with natural laws here, but the moon is a separate world! It is beyond Our jurisdiction!”
A separate world? I guess…that made sense… It was an entirely different celestial body…
Wait, should I be backing down so quickly?
“Isn’t there a moon god here, too? There’s always a moon god and a sun god, right? Can’t you ask them to do something about it?”
“We thoroughly believe that what is impossible is simply impossible, but… We can still confer with the moon god. Wait there.”
Yes, sounded like she had connections. Good thing I brought it up.
The look on Canimeow’s face was the most hopeful it had been so far.
Nintan turned away from us and opened some kind of communication line.
“Yes, it is We, Nintan. We have the moon spirit here, hoping to visit the moon. Is that possible? Mm-hmm, mm. Uh-huh. Right.”
It sounded like she was on the phone.
About three minutes later, Nintan turned back to us with a smile.
Good news?
“The moon god has no idea how to reach the moon from here.”
“No!”
“Consider it for one moment. If the sun god could bring the sun closer to our world, then the world would face destruction. No one has this power. No one can freely manipulate the celestial bodies.”
She was saying something very similar to what I’d thought.
There was a sun goddess in Japanese mythology, but it wasn’t like she could grab the sun and drop it on her enemies. She’d be way too OP.
“We came all this way and it’s still a no… Agh, this hurts… I wish the moon would just explode…” Canimeow fell to her knees. I did not hope the moon exploded, though—that would cause all kinds of problems.
“We cannot even imagine why you would want to go to the moon anyhow. Live here in this world. There is nothing to do on the moon. Truly nothing.”
I agreed with Nintan, but the doors would shut on this whole thing if I said that out loud.
“Look, people go the northernmost and southernmost spots in a country to celebrate things, right? So it’s a trip worth making for the same reasons, right?”
There were people who went all the way to Cape Soya, the northernmost part of Japan. Some people took the slow, local trains to the end of the line.
“We cannot empathize, so We do not understand. We would rather be safe and snug here in the temple. The any-most edge of anything sounds utterly inconvenient. We suppose such inconvenience is why it is at the fringes.”
And I agreed with her again, so I found it hard to persist.
But now that she’d contacted the moon god for us and confirmed that there was, indeed, no way to reach the moon, there was nothing else we could ask from her…
“Sorry for the trouble, Nintan. We’ll find another way.”
“I’m sorry for bothering you, Goddess…” Canimeow bowed deeply. I guess it was hard for her to be any kind of impolite to a deity. And she’d made the right choice if she didn’t want to get turned into a frog.
“Hmph… Do not act as though We have been of no help! What cannot be done cannot be done! You must endure this truth!”
“‘Enduring this truth’ would just mean it’s all over, so we’re going to keep working on this for a bit longer.”
“You will be asking Godly Godness, no? It will be very unpleasant if that second-rate deity were to solve this problem. Do not go to her.”
“That’s really selfish!”
But she’d also guessed my plan. I didn’t know any other gods anyway.
“Come on, each deity is different in their duties and position, so I’m just shopping around. It’s not a knock against you or anything.”
“Fine. But if you go to her, do not mention that We were unable to help you.”
She sure was hung up on the details for a god.
“You know so many deities, Azusa… Who are you? Are you, like, an evil minister who’s controlling a puppet king?”
“Why does this make me evil?”
I was doing all I could to help Canimeow, but she was being terrible to me!
“Ah, and moon spirit, you are forbidden from spreading word that the goddess Nintan was unable to help you. We will turn you into a frog if you do. You must absolutely not tell Godly Godness, especially.”
“A-all right, I won’t tell anyone!”
This goddess sure is self-centered…
But ultimately, Nintan’s efforts were for nothing.
“Hello, or good evening! It’s me, Godly Godness~”
Godly Godness had entered Nintan’s space!
“Gah! Do not come in unannounced! We do not recall inviting you here!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha! I am a goddess! And unlike you, someone who’s like a regional manager, I can reach even greater heights at corporate! You are hardly better than a regional manager! …Even if I was demoted after too many mistakes and ended my streak of success.”
Was that meant to be arrogant or gloomy? Make up your mind.
“Who is this, now…?” Canimeow asked. “She doesn’t look that important.”
I know she doesn’t, but she is a god, trust me.
I gave the confused Canimeow a brief introduction to Godly Godness while the two deities were busy arguing.
“I heard everything, by the way! Honestly, you are so heartless for a goddess. Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“You shall become a frog.”
A blue-white light appeared in the goddess Nintan’s hands and struck Godly Godness—who was now a giant frog.
“Oh no! Now I’m a frog again, ribbit!”
“Come on, it’s ’cause you keep challenging her! It’s kind of your own fault!”
“You may hold a high position, Godly Godness, but you are wide open. Think about your actions as a frog.”
“A sergeant frog, perhaps?”
Please do not make jokes that only ex-Japanese people like me would understand.
She simply sat there, probably because she felt safe now that she wasn’t actually fighting in earnest with Nintan anymore. This was so weird…
“So, Azusa, is it true that your friend here wants to go to the moon?”
“Oh, so we’re starting our conversation while you’re still a frog…”
I didn’t think it would hurt her if she tried to be a little more conscious of her dignity. She and Nintan could at least share what each other had.
“Yes, Miss Frog! I want to do something that a moon spirit should do! That’s why I want to go!”
Since Godly Godness had been turned into a frog right after meeting Canimeow, Canimeow now saw her as a frog… At least this saved us the time of seeking her out ourselves.
Now, what was it going to be?
We were just going around and asking all the places we could.
If Godly Godness couldn’t take us to the moon, either, then our project was dead in the water.
“Well, I suppose you would ask, wouldn’t you~? I can use my power to take you to the moon.”
“Oh, you can!”
“Yes! Thank you so much, Miss Frog!”
Canimeow and I grabbed each other’s hands.
My plan to ask the gods was a success!
“Grrr… How unbearable it is to think that We have lost to her… She will pay for this embarrassment…” Nintan was angry, but hopefully, she’d relieve her stress by punching a wall or something.
“I was once a goddess who oversaw several realms of existence, you see~ Taking you to the moon would be a piece of cake! Easy peasy lemon squeezy cake!”
Enough with the cheesy jokes!
“Godly Godness, you know we’re talking about the moon in the sky, right?”
Personally, I wondered why the concepts of moon and sun here were completely compatible with those of my past life. Sometimes fantasy worlds had two moons.
“Strictly speaking, the celestial body you called the moon in your past life was a completely different object that happened to have the same name. It essentially refers to the most prominent object near this planet.”
By the way she put it, it sounded like Earth wasn’t going to be anywhere in this space.
“I can lift you up to the moon with my magic. You should be able to get there that way~”
Ooh! She was a space shuttle!
“Thank you, Azusa! This is all because of you!” Canimeow hugged me this time, her voice choked with emotion. It sounded like she was about to cry. “I didn’t think getting to the moon would be possible at all, but…you can do this for me… I don’t think I could ever repay you or Miss Frog…”
She still saw Godly Godness as a frog, but it wasn’t that big of a problem.
“Sure, Godly Godness and I were involved, but it all started with you, Canimeow. Your conviction turned the impossible into reality.”
Had she not yelled during our moon dinner, nothing would have happened.
Well, I was angry at Wynona for that cruel rant, but I was ultimately unable to argue with any of her objections. You could say it was all connected.
This all started when Canimeow declared she was going to the moon.
The moment you put something into words—that’s when the possibilities are born. Even though neither of us built a spaceship ourselves, we were still overjoyed by the opportunity.
“It is quite irritating that We were unable to do anything, but We suppose We can be glad your problem is solved.”
It sounded like Nintan was wishing us well.
“But We are still annoyed, so We shall keep her a frog for a while.”
…Even if she was petty!
“Wow~ I can stick out my tongue so far! If I were human, I would most certainly be setting new records!”
Godly Godness was having a good time with her tongue.
“We may keep this frog around as amusement,” commented Nintan. “There is no harm done.”
“Looks like it…”
Even when she was demoted, she wasn’t all that upset about it… She was very quick to get back up on her feet.
“By the way, Miss Frog, how are we getting to the moon?” Canimeow asked. She was ready to go at any second. With that level of obsession, she was most definitely the moon spirit.
“Well, I can shoot you straight into the sky with an incredible amount of magic. You will be able to reach the moon in one step.” Godly Godness was so nonchalant about it, but what she was saying was almost literally out of this world.
“Incredible! You’re so great, Miss Frog!”
“But there’s one bit of a problem~”
I had a bad feeling about this. I mean, if Godly Godness was seeing a problem, it had to be something pretty big…
“What is it, Miss Frog? Does it use up too much mana?”
“Putting it metaphorically for you, moon spirit, when you go far, far up beyond the sky, you reach something like an energy layer.”
“Okay, okay. So we’ll travel past the energy layer, then.”
“The moment you enter that layer, you will be annihilated.”
See, that wasn’t a bit of a problem at all! That was leaving the atmosphere!
“She won’t be able to get to the moon, then, Godly Godness!”
“Ha-ha-ha, but there is a chance that you, the strongest being in this world, could break through~ I cannot recommend it, though.”
Not even being an OP witch could solve this one…
“Oh, and—I’m sure Azusa would understand this—once you enter what we call space without any protection…you will die.”
“Obviously!”
“I am not sure how a spirit’s physical body works, but the sum of it is, you would die. Does your body explode or something? Anyway, you won’t be able to breathe! Since you are a spirit, your consciousness might remain even if your body vanishes, but you won’t be able to return here!”
Don’t say it with such enthusiasm!
“Then you can’t make anything possible!”
“If I launch you with impossible speed toward the moon, at least one body part of yours will make it there! You will have arrived, physically! Tee-hee!”
She said all she did knowing it was impossible to begin with…
“Nintan, turn her into a frog.”
“She is already a frog. We cannot.”
I pinched the frog’s face and tugged in retaliation. “Ooh, you’re kind of slimy… And you can stretch so far.”
“Wow, this feels so weird~”
She didn’t regret her actions at all—she was just enjoying it even more. Handling someone this positive and chaotic was a real test of my patience.
“You can’t make a spaceship or anything?”
“No one on this planet has been to space, so there is no magic that relates to it at all. You may be the strongest creature on this planet, but you still cannot possibly be aware of what every creature in the world is doing. Your strength can only carry you so far.”
She was this close to lecturing me, but it wasn’t really registering since she was still a frog. Appearances mattered.
“And even if you managed to reach the moon, you would not be able to come back, just as I said. It would be an act of suicide. So let’s not, okay?”
“So going to the moon—”
“—is impossible, if you want to get there and return alive,” she said briskly.
I guess even gods had their limits.
“Back when I had a higher managerial position, I could have brought the moon to you, but that would destroy the world.”
“Yeah, leave it where it is, please!”
I wasn’t about to put the fate of the world on the scales.
“I said earlier that everything has its limits. But you could come up with a spell to create a life-form that could survive any temperature, any gravitational force, and any kind of radiation, transfer the moon spirit’s consciousness into that creature, and launch her to the moon.”
“That’s too much work; just let me live.”
I didn’t want to dive into the realm of mad science.
It was unfortunate, but when we came to the conclusion that it wasn’t possible, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my heart. There were many situations where it was important to persevere, but perseverance alone can only take you so far.
Like if a human did all the training they could possibly do, for example, they still wouldn’t be able to travel through space without a suit. Everything had limits. It wasn’t a terrible thing to know what you could and couldn’t do.
But…it was kind of sad to see Canimeow staring blankly into space. “Thank you Azusa, Goddess Nintan, Miss Frog.” She was smiling, but there was no life or energy about her.
She was like an athlete who had decided to retire. In a way, she seemed finally free of whatever demon had been possessing her—but she also kinda looked like a dried husk of a person.
“I feel at ease knowing it can’t be done. I will continue to live life as the moon spirit.”
Yeah, it was never possible.
Once again, I thought about how Wynona was right to object to her ambitions.
She was probably trying to offer a warning, that her cavalier promises might never be reconciled with reality.
If she hadn’t, then Canimeow might’ve been even more hurt. If an adventurer overestimated their own abilities, that meant death. Canimeow’s life probably hit too close to home for Wynona.
That said, it was still sad that there was nothing the moon spirit could do. I’d want to do the same thing in her shoes; that was who she was.
I wondered if there was something we could do to allow her to act like a moon spirit.
What had we done recently? There had to be a hint in there somewhere.
I thought back on the things we’d done lately.
…We’ve been attending a lot of festivals…
There was the meat festival and the sweets fair, and we’d had a lot of fun at both of those.
But a moon festival probably wasn’t possible. There was no moon food or anything, after all.
Hmm…but festivals and fairs didn’t always have to have rows and rows of food stalls. That was just for food festivals—one type of event.
We should be able to do a different kind of festival—or fair, or whatever.
I wasn’t a pro at this, so I wasn’t exactly sure how much of this was going to be possible, but we’d still give it a shot in the meantime.
I clapped Canimeow on the shoulder. “I’m going to see if we can’t hold a moon spirit festival. So save the moping for later, okay?”
“A festival? One where we can sing Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon together?”
“Wait, how would that be fun? …No, maybe it could work…?” Her addition to my idea was a good one, I decided. “That’s it, Canimeow! We can work off that!” I grasped both of Canimeow’s hands.
“What? I think you’re losing me…”
I wasn’t going to tell her everything right now, or my plan might get a lukewarm reception. There were a lot of things I needed to nail down first.
“Ah, We see you are looking optimistic now. Very good, very good. That settles it.”
Nintan, this is nowhere near settled.
But I still had the idea of going for a festival.
“Once you know your limits, that is when you can find ways to cross those boundaries. Like right now, for example, I think a tasty bug or two would truly hit the spot. Ribbit, ribbit!”
With an incredible spring in her legs, the frog sproinged into the distance.
“You nuisance! Do not test what a frog can do!”
“You cannot make me more of a frog than I already am! I am invincible, ribbit!”
Once I started making friends with gods, my desire to be faithful in any way only lessened.
Godly Godness apparently lived as a frog for a little while after that. I heard she wrote a new scripture called the Book of Frog, but I haven’t read it.
Canimeow and I parted ways for a bit, and I decided to quietly investigate the potential of my idea in the meantime.
There was the question of where we could have this thing, but first, I needed people to attend. Times like these, I usually flew to the demon lands.
I had connections with the demon king, so it was a lot easier to get things done there than in the human lands. If anything, we’d garner suspicion if we held any bizarre events closer to home…
After one concert, I headed to the dressing rooms. I had permission, of course.
When I opened the door, I was greeted by an energetic voice: “It’s been such a long time, Azusa!”
“Bravo! That was a great concert, Kuku.”
Kuku the almiraj was now a hugely popular singer here in the demon lands.
With a lute in her hand, she stirred the hearts of many demons—and some humans very sensitive to trends—by singing about life’s bittersweet moments (though more bitter than sweet, in my opinion).
“You totally have the presence of a singer now. I could feel your aura the second I came into the room.”
“Oh, don’t flatter me. I’m still a small fish. The second I start trying to find a bigger pond, I won’t be able to touch people’s hearts with my music anymore.”
She reminded me of small-time folk singers…
“My regular concerts aside, the only big job I’ve gotten is to make a theme song for a competition, so if my schedule works out, I should be able to help.”
I wondered what kinds of competitions Kuku participated in—the demon world had so many.
“So, Kuku, there’s something I want to talk to you about. We have no concrete plans for this yet, so think of it as a blank slate. If you think it’s totally impossible, then it’d be a huge help if you just came out and told me so.”
The biggest thing about having a friend who was a pro was being able to hear a pro’s perspective.
I could think about it all I wanted, but I still would be limited by my own viewpoint.
Kuku took notes here and there as she earnestly listened to me talk. It was a huge honor just to have a popular singer take time out of her day for me.
“I think it should be possible. I will reach out to different minstrels; do you have the time to wait?”
“Sure. No harm in trying, right?”
Kuku, gloomy singer extraordinaire, nodded enthusiastically in response.
The results came to me faster than I imagined.
She had sent out contact wyverns all over the world, and her answer to my question was…yes, it was possible.
All that was left was to ask the moon spirit whether she was up for this plan.
I visited Lunar Guidance, the fortune-telling establishment she had set up in front of the main Misjantie Temple, after it closed for the day. Canimeow worked here as a fortune-teller.
“Oh, Azusa. I can tell your fortune for free.”
Canimeow’s work was over, and she was now eating dinner.
“Canimeow, I want to hold a moon spirit music festival. What do you think?”
“Azusa, did you get any strange signals from the moon? I wish that would happen to me.”
That wasn’t what I wanted her to be concerned about…
But when I told her the details, her reaction changed. At the very least, she paused in eating her dinner. Unfortunately, she seemed less happy and more bewildered.
“I think it’s an incredible idea, but I wonder if it will go well…”
“To be honest, we’re not going to know until we open that box. It might be a huge failure. All I can do is suggest the idea to you.”
Maybe it would be another no, much like going to the moon was.
“I’ll leave the final decision up to you. You can tell me anytime you—”
“I’ll do it,” she interrupted. “I don’t even need to use my divination. The moon’s telling me to do this. No, it’s not the moon—I want to do this! I want to make people acknowledge me as the moon spirit!”
There was a good fire going in her eyes.
It was nice to lead a relaxing life, but it wasn’t terrible to find something to get you on your feet.
Moon spirit music festival, here we go!
When the winter chill grew stronger, there was a poster that hung in concert halls all over.
Personally, I was getting some sketchy vibes from this.
But we got a demon designer who did all of Kuku’s advertising posters to make it, so I’d trust it was okay… I guess it was good enough for the people coming to the concert.
I didn’t know any of the minstrels, but according to Flatorte, “It’s a good range of veterans to new hopefuls, so it’s not too bad,” so I was also going to trust her judgment.
Not that I had anything else to go on…
I hopped on Flatorte, and once we had permission, we went around putting the posters up on notice boards around the land.
“We’re trying to make this a large-scale event, but if only three people show up, Canimeow will only get even more upset… And that’d defeat the purpose.”
As the number of posters in our stack lessened, I was starting to get nervous.
“There’s no need to worry, Mistress. All of these minstrels are talented individuals with deep connections to the moon. People will come.” Flatorte knew a whole lot about music. “It’s good that our concept is the moon, because that means it’s not limited to only one genre. There are plenty of minstrels out there who have moon in their name, you see.”
“I do get the impression that a lot of minstrels name themselves after stars and stuff.”
“If we went with the concept of blood, then our festival would bring in all the death-style minstrels.”
“I’m really glad Canimeow’s not the blood spirit…”
If she were, she’d just be a demon at that point.
“There are a lot of events for death-style minstrels, and they’re pretty fun for what they are. You’ll have to practice your headbanging beforehand; otherwise, you’ll hurt yourself.”
“There sure are a lot of conflicts out there in the world that I don’t know about…”
“That said, if a lot of flower-style minstrels show up, then fights might break out between fans that listen purely to death style and fans of flower style. It’s very hard to find the balance between the two, Mistress.”
“I know I asked, but I don’t understand at all.”
At some point, this had become an in-depth lecture on the intricacies of the minstrel world.
“A long time ago, when minstrels were first starting to rise in prominence, they say there were only metallic-style and puncture-style musicians. This is an era of eons past that is only known through legends, though.”
Wait, was that supposed to be metal and punk…?
“Legend has it that their fans fought every day. People with good sense deemed both as a terrible influence.”
“Minstrels were for delinquents?!”
I thought they were something more refined, but I was way off.
“You know we’re talking about wandering minstrels, right? The ones who served nobility are a completely different story. People feared the minstrels who wandered the country and started guerilla performances in the busy downtown areas. Things are much more peaceful than they were then. Wandering minstrels have now also established a proper business for themselves.”
It really just sounded like the regular music industry.
“In this concert, we have Moon Soldiers, the main contenders for streetwear style, and Lycanthrope Orchestra, considered part of the costumed type within overkill style. There are people who think of it the same as flower style, but the musicality of costumed types leans toward crime type…”
“Oh, I’m not interested in the jargon talk, thanks.”
I remember having the same thought last time—there were way too many subgenres. It was almost impossible to follow.
“Their broad appeal brings in all types of different fans, but I hear nowadays that fans don’t start fights, break venues, or sneak in knives to performances. It should be all right.”
“I hope there’s no fighting at the concert… That would be a big problem for the company Kuku is a part of…”
There was no way either Canimeow or I would be able to run this event, so Siren Entertainment, the minstrel company that Kuku worked with, was helping us. There were wandering minstrels in the demon lands, but there were also singers who performed in halls.
“There really seem to be a lot of demon minstrels, but Kuku’s music is being spread through the magic streams. I think things will work out for her.”
“Oh yeah, the magic streams were a thing…”
It was this YouTuber thing that was causing info about the demons to catch on with a small subset of very sensitive people in the kingdom. Kuku’s music was spreading that way, too.
“You’ve made me feel a lot better, Flatorte. I think we’ll get a lot of guests.”
“Of course. That won’t be a problem at all. I’m sure plenty of people would love to see this.”
I didn’t know left from right in this industry, so this was a relief.
“The only problem remaining is the weather on the day, but we can only rely on luck for that,” commented Flatorte.
Oh no! Another thing to worry about!
“The Ocean on the Moon, especially, has been called the minstrel who summons storms, and they say a big storm blew away the set at a performance for an audience of ten thousand or so. But I suppose it’s not an awful thing to perform before a ruin.”
“I don’t think I want a storm at this festival!”
“Oh, that incident was nothing. Big music festivals always come with trouble. You hear all kinds of stories about minstrels who held their events in a valley, which caused a huge carriage traffic jam and took two whole days until the whole audience was gone, or the minstrel who started the concert four hours late, which meant the concert ended after the carriages stopped running for the day and nobody could go home.”
All these minstrels were troublemakers.
But the weather was still important, considering this was an outside event…
Afterward, I went to visit Misjantie. “Ask the wind spirits to keep the clouds out of the venue area, please! Make sure they get the rain clouds through well before it starts!”
“I dunno; this is kinda sudden, man! The wind spirits like spreading rumors more than controlling wind…”
I really hoped they had some ability to affect the weather, at least.
“Just ask, please! We need to be able to see the moon!”
I was getting more and more pushy. I’d use all the demon and spirit and god help I could get.
The day of the moon spirit festival was slowly closing in on us.
Since I’d gotten myself involved, I’d sometimes pop in and check in on Canimeow.
Canimeow herself looked very well-collected, and she confirmed with me the order of things. Even though she wasn’t going to reveal herself as the moon spirit, she still had to play the part of a fortune-teller who had received an oracle.
“Yes, I can do it. I can do this…”
“Yes, make sure everyone knows you exist.”
Everyone was doing all they could. All that was left was to enjoy the show!
Finally, at long last, the day of the music festival arrived.
The sun was barely up, and there was already a massive sea of people outside the venue! Anyone passing by would wonder what all the buzz was about. And the sky was a cloudless blue!
“Yes, this is gonna be great!”
“I kept my head and knees glued to the floor when I talked to the wind spirits, man… I had to give ’em so much gossip…”
Oops—hope Misjantie didn’t suffer too much.
“They told me to leak any famous people weddings that’d be happening at the shrine…”
“That’s a huge violation of your work ethics, right…?”
The wind spirits sounded like a huge pain in the neck. It was like the neighborhood gossip lady cranked all the way up.
“Putting the wind spirits aside for now… You want this event to be a success, too. Right, Misjantie?”
“Canimeow is helping Misjantie Temple get even more visitors, man.”
Well, they were spirit friends.
“Once Canimeow’s popular, I know my temple’s gonna be full of traffic, man!”
Don’t bring up money; you’re ruining the fantasy.
In the afternoon, the festival began.
The first act to come onstage was a veteran minstrel group.
The minstrel names and songs all had something to do with the moon.
I was listening from backstage, but I could still hear the loud cheers from passionate fans out in the crowd.
Flatorte was also backstage with me, explaining. “We have several popular minstrels coming out right at the start. The audience is going to get excited about this, no matter what.”
“You can talk all you like today, Flatorte. Don’t leave me all by my lonesome.”
There was some work I had to take care of anyway. I had to be the manager for the moon spirit herself.
Canimeow had her eyes covered by a big hooded robe, which really contributed to the mysterious fortune-teller vibe.
But I could tell by the trembling in her lips just how nervous she was.
Of course—there were thousands of people out there waiting for her, and it wasn’t like any of them were personal fans of hers, so she was basically the away team at this event.
This was a risky scheme—the main act of this event was wholly unknown (and not even a minstrel). But that was precisely why we were able to gather such a diverse group of musicians at all.
“Ooh…I can already feel the pressure… I think I’d explode if all those thousands of people looked at me like Who is this person…?”
“This is way easier than going to the moon, so chin up!” I pushed her forward. “You can do this! Go!”
Canimeow briefly cleared her throat, then stepped onto the stage.
The whole venue fell quiet. People were probably wondering who she was; nobody in this audience would start cheering if they heard her name.
“Uh, ummm… Greetings, all. I am Canimeow, a fortune-teller. I decided to hold this festival when I received an oracle from the moon spirit.”
Now that the audience knew who she was, they were watching her carefully.
“I shall now sing the song I received alongside the oracle. Once you know how it goes, I ask you all to sing along with me.”
And then, in front of literally thousands of people, she started belting out that weird song.
“Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmoon The full moon, the half-moon, the crescent, all kinds of moons~ But the moon stays perfectly round all the time~ How strange is that~ Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon ”
Yeah… No matter how many times I hear it, it just sounds like a joke to me…
The audience stared blankly at her.
Anyone who praised her for this would be very weird.
But Canimeow had a strong heart—she didn’t stop until she got to the end.
“…Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon ”
Without faltering, she started the second round.
This time, she was accompanied by the lutes and other instruments of the minstrels on the stage.
And the members of those groups who sang joined in with “Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon ”
They sure were professionals. Her ridiculous song was starting to sound dignified and majestic.
““Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon ””
Oooh, it was getting inspirational.
Flatorte had started singing, too.
Despite the bizarre lyrics, it was slowly starting to sound more and more epic. By the third round, the audience started joining in as well.
“““Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon ”””
Incredible! It wasn’t supposed to be a song that inspired feelings of togetherness, but the whole venue was singing as one. On the fourth and fifth rounds, the entire audience was singing parts of the chorus together.
“Today, you will keep your spirits high and praise the moon spirit. That is your mission here.”
When Canimeow stepped off the stage, there came loud cheers and applause. I even heard people yelling, “Long live the moon spirit!”
“The opening went very well. That was a superb beginning.” Flatorte was nodding with her arms crossed, so it sounded like we were off on the right foot.
But when Canimeow came back, she was barely staying upright.
“Whoa, why are you so worn out?! Did someone get you with psychic damage?!”
“Ah…I was so scared… I think that’s the most scared I’ve been in my life… There were so many people, staying calm took all the energy out of me…”
It was normal for a fortune-teller to conduct business one-on-one, after all.
“You won’t be on again for a while, Canimeow. Rest up.”
The name of the moon spirit was going to spread all across the land.
Afterward, several minstrels came onstage and performed according to the schedule, and the air got even more electric.
There was apparently no precedent for an event attended by both human and demon musicians, so we’d drawn a lot of people in with that alone.
I also heard some people yelling, “I’m so glad we got to see them live!”
When Kuku came onstage, the atmosphere changed again.
One reason probably was because her music wasn’t the kind to get people worked up, but everyone wanted to pay close attention to her singing.
“I see Kuku has more human fans now, too.” Flatorte seemed really happy about that. “She can captivate the audience at any stage she plays on. She now has the skill to paint the air with her own color.”
“She’s like your apprentice in a way, Flatorte.”
“That’s an exaggeration, Mistress. She is much, much more musical than I am.”
A surprisingly modest admission from Flatorte, even if we weren’t talking about raw strength. This was a miracle. I hoped this didn’t mean a storm was coming.
Geez, a storm would be dreadful right now… Please, just let this event pass peacefully…
“Please, just let me frown~ I can’t keep on smiling anymore. If I start smiling again, you’ll never see how sad I’ve been, and it’ll all be just like it was before~ ”
I could sense just how convincing Kuku’s music was, even though it was super dark…
“It’s a nice song, but it sucks for whoever’s up after her. The energy here feels like molasses.”
“You’re right! This wasn’t the right song for a festival!”
The vibes had been reset to zero.
“But it is what it is. If a minstrel can’t affect the mood set by a previous performer, that shows the limit of their skills. Minstrels must win through song alone. A festival is another type of battle.”
When Flatorte was explaining music to me, I almost started to think she was smart.
“There are minstrels who thrive at festivals and minstrels whose strengths lie elsewhere. Some minstrels aren’t suited for these open stages.”
“The musical world really is complicated…”
“But I’m sure Kuku has something for a festival today. Don’t worry,” Flatorte said quietly. I had no idea what that meant.
Once her performance was over, Kuku calmly returned to the backstage area. “It feels strange performing in front of humans. This should feel like home, but now I feel much more comfortable in the Vanzeld Castle town.”
The expression on her face told me she was a total big shot now. After she made a name for herself, she had come to accept any situation as normal.
“You’ve improved so much, Kuku. All I could think about was how amazing you were.”
“I am who I am today because you helped me back then, Azusa. I can never thank you enough,” she said with a smile.
Back when Kuku used the name Schifanoia, wore gaudy makeup, and screamed all her songs, her work was never enough to for her to even eat, so she had collapsed right before our eyes.
“It’s no big deal—it’s your own strength that helped you become such an amazing minstrel, Kuku.”
“I am happy to hear that, but I didn’t make it this far on my own. You have my thanks.”
I had a feeling she’d repaid our kindness in a wonderful way.
Way back when, Nosonia had a really…unique way of repaying the kindness I showed her before…
That aside, Kuku and Flatorte didn’t do much talking with each other.
“Keep it up.”
“I will.”
That was it. Watching them, all I could think about was how cool they looked.
I guess that meant they had nothing to chat about. I almost wanted to be like them.
Canimeow, by the way, thanked every minstrel act as they stepped off the stage at the end of their performances. She didn’t have much else to do in her position.
The human minstrels who didn’t know who Canimeow really was said to her, “I bet the moon spirit is really happy about this.”
“Yes, I believe so, too.”
She seemed a bit surprised at first, but her reply was firm. Not even a god could pull off an event like this. It was safe to say that she had done more than enough to spread awareness of her existence.
The event proceeded, and night eventually fell—and we could see a perfectly full moon overhead.
The concert was finally winding down.
Standing onstage was a minstrel who, according to Flatorte, played in the death style.
“So similar to Kuku’s old style of music, then? She was death-style, right?”
“Yes. Their skill levels are worlds apart, however. See how everyone is shaking their heads around? The more they do that, the higher-quality death it is.”
That’s a weird standard.
“Music is not only for listening and appreciating. Some music is meant to get your blood flowing and set your soul on fire.”
“I see… You’re very helpful, Flatorte.”
And she was right—the fans were going wild along with the intense music onstage.
“I’m worried someone might get hurt… Are you sure they’ll be okay?”
“The ones near the front are seasoned fans, so they get surprisingly few injuries. Some should have hired adventurers specializing in restorative magic as their relief squad.”
I couldn’t tell exactly how many songs had gone by so far, but I bet the audience knew.
But then, once their performance was over, the death-style minstrels yelled something I wasn’t expecting.
“We’ve got a surprise act for you next!”
Wait, did we have something like that on the schedule?
“You-know-who’s coming back from the dead!!!”
Then somebody stepped up onto the stage. I knew that makeup—and those bunny ears.
“Hey, that’s Kuku in her old makeup!”
“BLACK AND WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! PUT THEM TOGETHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, YOU GET GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ADD MORE BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK, MAKES IT GRAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!”
This was one of her Schifanoia songs!
She was playing her lute like an electric guitar!
“THE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAY! DIAMOOOOOOOOOOND! BAAAAAAATHES IN THE LIGHT OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOON! THE DIAMOOOOOOOOOOOND! IS A RAINBOOOOOOOOOOOOW!”
She even made sure the song had something to do with the moon!
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! It’s me, Schifanoia! Maybe I will celebrate this moon spirit with my songs! Y’know, they say some of us almiraj came from the moon!”
That’s right! They’re the rabbits that came from the moon!
“Ugh, what was up with that Kuku chick—what a hack, am I right? Crying over that emo junk is for losers! Every tragedy is a party with Schifanoia! Next up is ‘Blood-Soaked Moon’!”
Even though more than half of the people here had never heard the song before, they were still headbanging.
“Sorry, but did Kuku have this many fans when she was Schifanoia?”
To answer my own question, she definitely didn’t.
But I doubted anyone here had known that Schifanoia would be coming. People couldn’t even come to see Schifanoia without Kuku.
“Schifanoia today is much more expressive in her language after going through the Kuku experience. That’s why the audience can get into her music,” Flatorte explained, satisfied. “Now that she can revisit her origins, that means she is no longer afraid.”
I was lucky that I could see this new side of Flatorte, all because Kuku was around.
“DESPAIR! IS BORN! ON THE MOON, ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON! WOOOAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAA! ROOOOAAAAR! THE MOON PUTS YOU ALL INTO CONFUSION! INTO A HORDE OF MINDLESS UNDEAD! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
But the song was still pretty bad!
“Though she’s more expressive in her language, she still has further to go musically.”
“You sure are calm when it comes to this, Flatorte…”
“She never had a hit because her musicianship was too weak.”
Well, the more someone passionately supports a work, the more objectively vitriolic they are about the quality.
“I’ll come back as many times as you fools want!” Schifanoia yelled and leaped off the stage. I doubted that number would be any higher than zero.
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Well? Did you desire blood? Did you feel the massacre impulse? Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Hey, we’re backstage already, so you can act normally.”
“Say that to me again and I’ll shred your guuuuuuuts!”
“Seriously, I’m not interested in the act, so just be normal.”
It was exhausting talking to someone with that kind of energy.
“…All right. My apologies.” Normal Kuku was back. “I could hurt my throat singing that way…”
That would be a fatal blow to a minstrel.
“The quality of one’s singing isn’t a big factor in death style, after all. Some even think that the lute melody serves as a stand-in for actual singing.”
“Yes… I will put that performance away for a little bit now…”
I didn’t think Schifanoia’s one-day revival was going to go down as legend.
“I believe I did a good job leading the moon spirit’s entrance, though.” Kuku smiled in her dramatic makeup.
Right, the next act was going to be the last.
Canimeow the fortune-teller, whose name was listed among the minstrels, appeared onstage.
“I received another oracle from the moon spirit. It said, Today was a wonderful day. From now on, I will speak to you all through these music festivals. Wait for that time.”
A kind of cry erupted throughout the audience.
“Then one last time, let us sing the ode to the moon spirit!”
Everyone at the concert started singing that stupid song.
“““Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon ”””
Canimeow raised her hand and pointed at the moon.
“More! Let the moon herself hear us! More, more!”
Finally, the minstrels who’d performed that day joined in one after the other, all singing the same song, until the stage was buried in people.
“Come on, louder! It’s not going to reach the moon like that! I know you can do more! Sing to the moon!”
At some point, Schifanoia, who had just performed onstage, joined in the singing.
And for some reason, Flatorte pulled me up onto the stage, too.
“““Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Lunaluna~ Moomoonmooooon Moonmoonmoomoonmoon ”””
It was still an inelegant and stupid song, but everyone was singing it seriously.
Some of the performers were even crying.
And eventually, Canimeow started bawling.
“Thank you! You have touched every part of the moon spirit’s soul! You are all perfect! Even if the moon isn’t looking at you, her spirit is always watching over you!”
It was safe to say those were happy tears; I couldn’t imagine any other reason she’d be crying.
“Nobody from this world has ever gone to the moon. But all of you here are now connected to the moon! I guarantee it!”
Onstage, I pulled Canimeow in her fortune-teller getup into a big hug. “I’m glad, I’m so glad.”
“Thank you, Azusa… This became a fantastic memory… I can now live proudly knowing I’m the moon spirit…”
Yeah, no other spirits held events like this. Canimeow was a spirit with unbeatable originality.
“This is where I’ve always wanted to be. This place is so much better than the moon!”
And thus ended the hugely successful first moon spirit music festival.
But a few days later, Canimeow came to the house in the highlands again.
“So if we have enough recruits, then I’d want to hold it again next year. Could you help?”
“I’m not an event planning company!”
“But I heard that for something this big, you have to start preparing a year in advance. You have to secure the venue and stuff.”
“I told you, I’m not an event planning company—I don’t know this stuff!”
I had her handle next year’s (and all years after that) by herself.
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