Inou-Battle wa Nichijou-kei no Naka de - Volume 3 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Eccentricity of Himeki Chifuyu, Part Two

I feel like I probably don’t need to say this, but for the record, you can’t drop out of elementary school just because you feel like it. That’s just not how it works—it’s called compulsory education for a reason.

Speaking of dropping out, Chifuyu explained what had happened in more detail, and it all turned out to be remarkably mundane. Apparently, she’d gone up to her homeroom teacher after school the day before and told them that she wouldn’t be coming to class starting tomorrow. Her teacher said “Yeah, sure you won’t,” and she took that as an agreement.

Chifuyu...that wasn’t an agreement. That was your teacher brushing you off.

So anyway, I explained the intricacies of compulsory education and all that stuff to her, and she heaved a tiny little sigh before muttering, “Oh, okay. I guess I can’t quit school, then.”

And that’s how I ended up escorting Chifuyu all the way from my school to hers first thing in the morning. I couldn’t just leave her idling around on her own in front of a high school, could I? I’d probably end up blemishing my flawless attendance record as a result, but honestly, that was never something I’d been aiming for anyway—it just sorta happened. I’ve never been particularly obsessed with that stuff. Heck, I cut class pretty often back in middle school!

“Hey, Chifuyu?”

“Hmm?”

“Think you could give walking on your own two feet a try?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder at the little girl on my back.

Long story short: I said, “All right, we can go back to your school together,” Chifuyu said, “Carry me, then,” and the rest is history. Very confusing history, the logic of which I still haven’t quite been able to put together, but the point is, I was walking along with an elementary schooler in place of a backpack.

“Can’t.”

“And why would that be?”

“Too tired.”

Oh, she’s tired, is she? Honestly, fair enough. Nothing we can do about that. She’d used up all of her walking-to-school energy walking to a totally different school, so it was no wonder her morning stamina reserves were running on fumes. I resigned myself to the fact that I’d be making the trek for both of us and kept plodding my way toward the elementary school.

Thankfully, Chifuyu was pretty light, and her school wasn’t all that far away from mine in the first place. If I had to find something to complain about, I’d probably go with the fact that the stares from all the other students who were currently on the way to school were a little grating.

Then again, no matter how light she was and how short the walk was, I might’ve made a major miscalculation by underestimating my own lack of stamina. Plus, Chifuyu was wearing her backpack, and I had my school bag in one of my hands as well.

“W-Wait a second,” I gasped, veering off into a mostly abandoned park and setting Chifuyu down. “Just need a quick break...”

“Andou, are you okay?” she asked, sounding a little worried. On the one hand, the concern was appreciated, but on the other hand, this was all her fault in the first place, and part of me really wanted to call her out on it.

“Chifuyu...sorry, but I’m at my limit. Don’t you think it’s about time you just used World Create?” With her power, Chifuyu could create a portal—or a Gate, as I liked to call them—that would let her cover any distance in the blink of an eye. That’s why I brought her into the park. Nobody was around to see her here, and it really did feel like the right time to let her power do the hard work and take her all the way to her school.

Chifuyu, however, shook her head. “There’s lots of people in the morning. It’d be too hard to not get caught.”

Hmm. I guess popping over to our club room after school and teleporting into her school in the morning aren’t really comparable, challenge-wise. She hadn’t said it was impossible, but the risk of getting caught was too high to justify, considering we weren’t all that far away.

“Guess we’d better walk, then,” I sighed.

“Yeah.”

“But, y’know, I’m kinda about to collapse over here. Maybe we could call off the piggyback ride the rest of the way?”

“No.” She crossed her arms in a sign of unilateral rejection.

Man, seriously? I racked my mind for a way to convince her to give my poor back a rest, but before I had any decent ideas, Chifuyu puffed up her cheeks and started sorta sadly mumbling. “I like riding on your back.”

“Huh...?”

“Your back’s big, and warm, and comfy.”

“...”

“And reliable, and manly, and suuuper cool.”

“...”

“But, if you really don’t wanna carry me, that’s okay. I’m a good girl, so I won’t complain.”

“Perish the thought, my lady!” Before I even knew what I was doing, I’d spun around 180 degrees and knelt down on the spot, gesturing to my back with a spirited thumbs-up. “Climb aboard!”

Chifuyu nodded with satisfaction and hopped aboard my back. “Thanks. Andou, you really are too eas— I mean, a super nice person.”

“Oh, I’m just doing what any guy in my position would do!” I declared, springing to my feet and setting off toward the elementary school with a skip in my step.

“Good job, Andou. You have my praise,” said Chifuyu, patting me on the head as I gasped and heaved for breath. Going through a workout like that first thing in the morning was hell, sure, but Chifuyu head pats were enough to make it all worthwhile. Cuteness, after all, makes the world go round!

I finally managed to catch my breath and look up at the elementary school in front of me. Yokoi Elementary (or just Yokoi, as the locals tended to call it for short) was a perfectly normal public school, but it must’ve undergone some renovations recently. The facilities looked distinctly new and up to date.

“Chii!”

A girl sprang out from the school’s entrance, dashing over to where we were resting by the gate. She looked like she was about Chifuyu’s age, and she was around her height as well, with big, strikingly bright eyes and her hair tied up in a fashionable ponytail.

“Come on, Chii, do you realize how late you are?! I was worried about you! Ahh, and look, your ribbon’s all messy again! You’re a girl, Chii, so you have to keep yourself nice and cute! Here, let me... Okay, much better! Put Squirrely in your backpack for now, okay? The teacher will give you another lecture if you get caught carrying him around again! And that’s not even starting on...”

The little girl kept jabbering on and on as she gave Chifuyu a once-over, correcting all the sloppy little flaws in her appearance with an impressively practiced hand. Chifuyu, meanwhile, just let it happen without so much as a word of protest. It sort of felt like this whole exchange was a matter of routine for both of them.

“All right, that should do it!” The girl nodded with satisfaction at a job well done, then finally tore her eyes away from Chifuyu for long enough to notice me. “Ah! U-Umm, good morning,” she stammered.

“Yeah, morning,” I casually replied.

The girl leaned in to whisper in Chifuyu’s ear. “Hey, Chii, who is this person? Was he carrying you just a minute ago?”

“He’s Andou,” replied Chifuyu.

The girl’s eyes widened. She turned to face me again and gave me a polite bow. “Y-You’re the Andou?! I’ve heard all about you! Thank you for always taking such good care of Chii,” she said, sounding almost like she considered herself Chifuyu’s legal guardian.

“Umm, I mean, yeah, I’m Andou,” I replied. “And wait, you’ve heard all about me? Like, what sort of things have you heard?” Could it be—does she know that I’m the reincarnation of the Dark Lord Guiltia, he who ruled the demon realm with an iron fist?! If so...then she must not be allowed to leave this place alive!

“You’re part of the literary club that Chii always hangs out in, aren’t you? She tells me about you all the time!” said the girl, immediately betraying my expectations. Okay, so apparently, she hasn’t heard all about me after all.

“Let me introduce myself,” she continued. “I’m Chii’s friend, and my name is Kuki Madoka.”

I gasped. I shuddered. In the blink of an eye, I was covered in goose bumps, and my heart was pounding like a war drum. The name she spoke—her name—pierced me to my very core. Kuki? Did she just say her name...was Kuki Madoka?

“Hey...” I began, intent on confirming the suspicion that was setting my spirit aflutter. “You said your name’s Kuki? Is that written with the character for ‘nine’ as the ku and the character for ‘demon’ as the ki?”

“Yes, it is.”

“O-Okay, so then...how’s ‘Madoka’ written?”

“My given name’s written with just one character—the one for ‘circle.’”

I fell to my knees on the spot. Kuki Madoka. The sheer degree to which her name had shaken my soul was genuinely unfathomable. How could this be? How could a child like her—a little girl so undoubtedly well-behaved and diligent—be the bearer of a name like that...?

Kuki Madoka.

That is hella, hella, hella cool! Like, holy crap, that friggin’ name! It could be the name of a swordsman’s most powerful special move, completely unaltered! Like, a secret technique passed down through the generations of a bloodline that inherited their power from nine legendary demons!

You could be all “For the likes of you, the Demon of the Third Circle alone shall suffice... Fiendish beast that slumbers within my blood, devour the foe before me!” and crap! And the Ninth Circle Demon could be, like, super dangerous or something, so you’re supposed to keep it sealed away under all circumstances! But then a super strong enemy shows up, and you have to use it anyway! And then the demon goes on a rampage and threatens to devour your very being! But your friends’ voices pull you back to sanity at the very last second! Hoooly crap, this is so good!

“U-Umm, Andou?”

Ah! Whoops—simmer down, back to reality. I’d let the absolutely insane coolness of the name “Kuki Madoka” sweep me off my feet in a very literal sense and was still kneeling on the ground.

“Hey, Chii? Is this guy, you know, all right?”

“Don’t worry about him. Andou’s just a dummy.”

“Oh, okay... Jeez, high schoolers sure are scary.”

There I was, enduring the pitying gazes of a couple of elementary schoolers who seemed to consider me sub-human in the saddest sort of way. I cleared my throat, stood up, and carried on the conversation as if nothing unusual had happened whatsoever.

“Oh, Chifuyu’s friend? I see, I see!”

“Yeah. Cookie’s my friend,” agreed Chifuyu. Cookie, I assumed, was her nickname for Kuki. The sinister aura of the Nine Demons was swept away in the blink of an eye.

Man, what a shame. I’ll sure as hell be calling her Kuki, though, and pronouncing each of its syllables with all the malevolence I can muster! Maybe I’ll call her Lady Kuki? That feels like it’d fit the ambience.

“Everyone at school says that Cookie’s my mom,” continued Chifuyu.

“Your mom?” I repeated.

“N-No, don’t get the wrong idea!” shouted Kuki, frantically waving her arms in the air. “It’s just, umm...Chii’s always so laid-back about everything and always does her own thing, you know? So I just sort of end up doing all sorts of stuff for her... Ah, I’m not complaining, though! I’m totally okay with it!”

Hm-hmm. I see how it is. Kuki, in short, was more or less Chifuyu’s personal attendant. Chifuyu had always lived her life with the attitude of a blue-blooded princess, unbound by the societal norms that dictated the lives of us commoners, so she probably needed a friend like Kuki who’d be willing to take care of all her worldly affairs.

“Gotcha, gotcha! Okay then, Kuki, I’ll just go ahead and pass Chifuyu off to you. Take good care of her, okay?” I said, acting like I was Chifuyu’s dad, or older brother, or something.

“O-Of course I will!” replied Kuki, sounding unamused and looking a little sullen for some reason. “Chii’s my friend, after all! Come on, Chii, let’s get going.”

“Okay,” grunted Chifuyu.

“It was nice meeting with you, Andou. Have a nice day.”

“Bye-bye, Andou.”

The two of them vanished off into the school. It sort of felt like Kuki had gotten a little distant with me at the end there—or maybe a little curt? But I figured that that was probably just the natural reaction for an elementary school girl meeting a high school boy out of the blue.

I left the elementary school behind, walking back the way I’d come. Considering the current time, I figured that as long as I kept up a reasonably speedy pace, I might still be able to make it to my own school on time.

“Ah...” Suddenly, a thought struck me. “Now that I think about it, I never asked Chifuyu why she wanted to drop out of school, did I?” I’d been in such a hurry, it had completely slipped my mind.

Eh, who hasn’t wanted to drop out of school at least once or twice, though? Judging by her attitude about the whole thing, I couldn’t imagine there was any incredibly serious issue motivating her. I declared the case closed without sparing it another thought and rushed off to try and beat the bell.

At that point, I still hadn’t grasped the situation at all. I hadn’t picked up on Chifuyu’s motives, nor Kuki’s intentions. More than anything, though, I hadn’t appreciated how hopelessly optimistic the conclusion I’d reached really was...