Hua Hua You Long - Volume 1 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Foolish Bandit Captures His Bride

June. A portrait of southern heaven.

The thriving East Lake of Hangzhou, a finely-crafted, Oriental, wood ferry sailed, the sound of slender bamboo dispersing with the gentle lake wind. The fragrance seeming to intoxicate each and every traveller.

But today, the softly swaying lilies and lotuses floating elegantly upon the lake surface failed to capture the attention of the passersby rushing to and fro. No, today, all attention was on the young, scholarly man, donned in robes of white, perched on the bow of the ferry.

There was a quality of indescribably romantic grace about his figure, the white, fine-spun Confucian robe* undulating against the breeze. His long, black hair, loose and unfastened, waterfalled down to his waist, billowing in the wind along with the white robe. It was a sort of careless magnificence beyond the capability of words, as if his entire person held on to an aura that descended from the heavens above. The commoners on the boat passing by stared, wide-eyed and dumbfounded.

But he had long since accustomed himself to being the centre of attention. And so he perched, not allowing the gazes of the crowd to faze his carefree yet polished poise. He only cared to mind the conversation he was holding with attendant standing behind.

“I must say, Xiao Yue*, the Swaying Step that Teacher* taught me is quite amazing. I’ve been standing on this boat’s bow for an hour and I haven’t wavered an inch!”

Seemingly satisfied, he turned around and fixed the attendant with a subtle smile...

For a moment, even the god-like beauty of East Lake was drained of its colour.

“Waah!!!”  His smile might not have meant much, but a scream suddenly rang out from the adjacent boat...

As it turned out, a fat bloke had greedily delighted in too much beauty, and tumbled headfirst into the water, initiating ripples of commiserating laughter.

“As of today, I finally understand why the Emperor of Han* went so far as to present his male concubine with land and riches. So men whose beauty could corrupt cities and destroy states really do exist,” a man dressed as a scholar sighed to his friend.

But an icy glare suddenly frightened him into silence.

“Insolence!” Before he could pinpoint where the voice came from, a shadow had already leapt into the air.

In a split second, the hair worn in a bun on top of the scholar’s head was already gone. Whipping around, the man found his hair dangling in the hands of the fair, young guard named Xiao Yue.

“Ahhh~” the crowd exclaimed. They immediately shut up about seductive male beauty and whatnot.

The beautiful man waved his sleeve. “Xiao Yue, come back in the ferry—throw that repugnant thing away at once.”

The moment he finished talking, Xiao Yue’s silhouette was no longer on the bow, but, with a flash, back in front of the ferry’s open cabin.

Flinging the hair into the water, Xiao Yue glowered threateningly all around him, until all had settled into absolute stillness. Only then did he turn away coldly and proceed into the cabin.

“Ah...” The crowd sighed in disappointment. There was no longer any male beauties to see. They could only watch helplessly as the ferry sailed away at a startling speed.

“Xiao Yue, what other fun, new things are there?”

Seeing that Xiao Yue had returned to the cabin, the beautiful man reclined lazily on the wooden couch* as he spoke. His voice was pure and piercing. It was as if the heavens had spoiled him with every detail of perfection.

“Your Majesty, according to the plans for this trip, the criteria of ‘doing heroic deeds*’ has not yet been fulfilled,” Xiao Yue bowed, answering with the utmost respect.

That’s right—this man, whose fair face shocked and made one tremble, was the very emperor who resided in the capital city—His Majesty Emperor Jing Zong. Because of his exceptional beauty, he always presided over court with a veil between him and his subjects, so there weren’t any strange rumours that escaped the royal capital.

And this guard he called Xiao Yue was his trusted military commander, coincidentally also his senior and fellow apprentice under the same martial arts master—The Protector of the Nation Mu Yue.

“Heroic deeds, huh? What should we do, then?” Deeply pondering, Xuan Yuan Jing soon grew tempted to endeavour in said ‘heroism’.

Mu Yue, who was standing to one side, began to speak. “Your Majesty, your humble subject* have heard that recently, Mt. Lu Cang, located in the outskirts of Hangzhou, have been wracked by disappearances of beautiful, young girls. I wonder if Your Majesty...” Tentatively glancing towards that resplendently god-like face, Mu Yue noted, though not to his surprise, the piqued expression that it displayed. 

..........
Afternoon, the foot of Mt. Lu Cang.

Layers of foliage, thickets, and trees concealed the two young women treading the mountain path within. The slightly taller damsel wore a silk veil over her face, obscuring her visage. The slightly thinner and shorter girl to the side, meanwhile, had fair, bright eyes and long, neat brows, donning a colourful, pink, long skirt*.

“Aiya~ Yue Er*, why must the weather be so hot? When can we reach the city?” A high-pitched, feminine voice—the girl who had spoken wore a sweeping dress of deep azure, her figure majestic, but perhaps a little too tall. She traipsed daintily, her steps gentle and swaying: the very embodiment of a young lady raised in seclusion and wealth.

“Mi’lady, we’ll be there soon.” The girl she had called Yue Er wore a gloomy expression.

The two continued side by side, up the uneven mountain pass.

That’s right. These two gentle ladies were Xuan Yuan Jing* and Mu Yue from the ferry on East Lake. By Xuan Yuan Jing’s suggestion, the two instantaneously went and changed into women’s clothing the moment they got off the boat, then immediately rushed over to Mt. Lu Cang.

What Mu Yue didn’t understand was this: His Majesty could dress up like a lady all he wanted, but why coerce him, Mu Yue, to follow suit...

“Why are you so stupid?” Jing, seeing through Mu Yue’s thoughts, reached out and smacked his head forcefully. “If there’s a man following me around, the bandits wouldn’t come! And then what would we do?”

            Mu Yue recoiled a little as he was struck. Though he grew irritated, he could only store his annoyance inside. As his expression betrayed, he dared not cross the line. All he could do was obediently lend his arm to “the lady” as they proceeded down the path.

Another half li* later...

The foolish bandits finally appeared, just as they expected.

“Where are you headed, miss?” Muscular and tall, the two men blocking their path wore odd grins, appearing bandit-like with a single glance.  

How cliché—can’t you think of a more creative pickup line?

Even as Jing cursed them inside his head, he put on an act of naiveté and answered effeminately, “Excuse me, sirs. I am only heading for the city to visit my relatives. But unfortunately, I’ve lost all the money for the journey, so I can’t but take to walking to the city with my maid.”

As he finished speaking, he feigned a sorrowful gesture, unassumingly lifting up the veil to wipe away fake tears, all the while revealing his unparalleled beauty to the two bandits.

“Waaah!!! What a beauty!!” As he had predicted, the two bandits exclaimed in shock at his astounding magnificence.

“No, no. How can this face of mine, plain as common grass, be fit for such compliments, good sirs?” Jing had grown up in the back court*, brimming with beautiful women, so cross-dressing and playing the role of a woman was, for him, quite literally a piece of cake. 

“Ah, ah, ah...how would Miss like to take a trip up the mountain with us?”The bandits tried their hardest to seem as if their coercion was an invite.

“For what purpose, big brother*?” Jing was still acting like a delicate and shy little beauty. As he stole a glance at Mu Yue from the corner of his eye, he was met with a “I’m about to puke” sort of expression. Jing rolled his eyes.

“To become the Lady of the Stronghold* of course!” Who said mountain bandits seemed much lazier? Just watch! They kidnapped two people the moment they appear!

“Ah!!! Help! Help! Somebody save me!!”

Jing and Mu Yue quickly pretended to scream for help and struggle for their lives, but took care not to use their actual strength. They didn’t put up much of a fight before they were thrown over the two bandits’ shoulders, heading towards the deepest abode of the mountain, shrouded by layer after layer of clouds...

After about an hour, Jing observed that the wooded mountain path had suddenly widened, the thickets of green giving in to an enormous, mighty structure, which hugged the crooked slope as if the edifice itself climbed the mountain. At the entrance, there stood a high, overarching gate, the banner hanging atop reading “Mt. Lu Cang Stronghold,” four powerful, large words. 

“Big brother, why did you take me and my maid to this place?” Jing asked the bandit carrying him, pretending to be petrified yet still every bit as effete.

Though Jing wasn’t obese by any standard, he was still a full-blown man, thus reducing the bandit to exhausted gasps. “You’re in luck, girl!” he huffed, “Our King* is coincidentally in need of a Lady of the Stronghold! It all depends on your luck. If he likes you, then it’s your extremely good fortune!”

The bandit’s cheerful tone made Mu Yue tremendously indignant. “Who the hell is your Leader? And what ‘extremely good fortune’ will it bring if he likes us?”

“Oi, little girl, what do you know?” The bandit was very displeased with Mu Yue’s degrading remarks. “Our King is renown throughout all of mainland* wulin*, “the Eagle” Lu Cang*! He earned his fame at a young age, a great hero indeed! None of the women that we, his brothers*, have found so far satisfy him...ah...he’s really worried us brothers to death!” The more he talked, the more exasperated he became.

“Wh-what about the kidnapped women?” Jing hurriedly inquired.

“If our King doesn’t want them, then of course they’re enjoyed by us brothers!!” The bandit’s laughter rang out; he appeared exceptionally lecherous.

Jing frowned to himself—this Lu Cang doesn’t seem like anything good, giving up the women he doesn’t want into the hands of these dirty scoundrels...truly deserving of punishment!!

Xuan Yuan Jing couldn’t help but secretly decide to make this wicked man called “the Eagle” suffer a well-learned lesson!

In the blink of an eye, they had reached the entrance of the front hall.

The bandit threw their two captives on the floor, then turned and screamed, “Big brother, big brother!!! Look at the goods that we brought back!!”

The assembly of men in the hall were gathered around in a circle, seemingly deep in discussion about something. Hearing the shout, they set down the paper scroll in their hands and walked over.

The one leading the group was a man dressed in grey. Tall, slender, but still very well-built, with long, sword-like eyebrows resting over dark eyes that had in them a spark of starlight. Tremendously handsome, but there was an indescribable sort of ego between his brows.

Ah, so this is “the Eagle,” Jing thought quietly to himself.

Well, he was much more attractive than originally expected, but that pride between his brows was truly a nuisance.

“The Eagle” walked over to the two fallen “ladies” on the floor. Through the veil, Jing could see that “the Eagle’s” eyebrows were pushed together in a frown. “Women again?” A tone of superiority, cold and hard.  

“Big brother, these two are first-rate goods—guaranteed to be well-kept beauties!” their two captors quickly explained with care.

“Beauties?” Lu Cang shot Mu Yue a sideways glance, doubt surfacing in his countenance. Mu Yue seethed in rage.

“No, this one.” Their captor hurriedly pointed to Jing, who was sitting to one side.

“Really?” Lu Cang’s brows furrowed a little, nonchalantly flipping up Xuan Yuan Jing’s veil—

“Waaahhhh~~” A resounding cry began to emanate through the hall. Quite evidently, everyone was awestruck by Jing’s unearthly beauty.

Lu Cang , the first one to be blinded by the grandiose light, stared into Jing’s dazzling, bottomless eyes, mind-boggled and overwhelmed. It was a long while before he could speak again.

“Big brother?” Witnessing Lu Cang’s reaction, the two captors knew that Lu Cang had already been swayed. Then again, anyone who wasn’t swayed by this kind of astounding beauty was most probably not a man. 

A wave of his hand. Lu Cang’s gaze still failed to leave that stunning face. His voice was a bit shaky as he spoke, “Reward!”

Someone from behind him automatically fished out some loose pieces of gold for the two bandits. The two expressed their intense gratification and left.   

The great hall suddenly erupted in din.

“Wah! Congratulations, big brother, on receiving such a stunning beauty...”

“I, Lu Cang, must take you as the Lady of the Stronghold! It has to be you, no one else...”

Immediately, the great hall was filled with a chorus of congratulations. Lu Cang only cared to seize Jing’s hand, gazing into his two poignant eyes, as if hypnotised.

“Quick! Quick! Go prepare the wedding!! Big brother is getting married tonight!” All of Lu Cang’s loyal brothers knew what he was thinking, thus directly ordered the henchmen to go make preparations.

........

The moonlight enveloped Mt. Lu Cang.

But the typically discreet Lu Cang Stronghold was quite the opposite of its usual tranquillity, the cacophony ringing out like its daytime riots.

In the great hall, over a hundred tables of feast. The great gathering of bandits crowded around the table, chewing with zeal, looks of unanticipated and immense joy on their faces.

“Did you know? Big brother’s wife is a stunning beauty. I heard that when big brother saw her, his eyes were glued to her for so long he couldn’t look away!” After satisfying their cravings for wine* and food, the bandits naturally began on the topic of the wedding.

Someone to the side chimed in, “That’s right, that’s right! Big brother used to never touch women, I thought that there was something wrong with him...”

As if he suddenly realised the dangerous nature of this topic, the one who spoke immediately shut himself up. Everyone around began to laugh sympathetically.

The centre of the hall, in the host’s seat.

Lu Cang’s normally expressionless face also carried faint wisps of red, a hint of a smile playing on the corner of his mouth as he drank.

“Big brother, the golden night of a marriage* is priceless—I think it’s best you retire to the bedchamber, or the bride will grow impatient,” the strategist of the bandits Liu Cuo leaned over and whispered in Lu Cang’s ear.   

Upon this, Lu Cang’s face grew even redder. He didn’t refuse, but silently stood up. “Well, then, I’ll be off. Please enjoy yourselves, everyone!”

Watching Lu Cang retreat to the bedchamber in the inner yard, Liu Cuo smiled in relief—Lu Cang’s marriage had been a heavy rock in the hearts of these brothers. Seeing as today their leader finally obtained nuptial happiness, they could finally set down that rock.

Throwing the chaos in the great hall behind, Lu Cang felt as if the closer he approached the bedroom, the faster his heart raced.

He had originally thought that there was no hope of finding his destined partner for life, but today, the heavens had really sent him that person he kept in his heart! How could he not be jumping for joy?

Inside the bedroom, shadows cast by the dimmed candlelight. On the edge of the bed decorated with red silk, quietly sat the bride, the red veil concealing her face.

Lu Cang approached the edge of the bed, but caught a glimpse of that sliver of white under the red sheets. He flushed red in spite of himself. Tonight, this silk bed will become the home of him and this godly beauty’s warm dream...

“My wife...” With a low call, Lu Cang reached out and lifted away that bothersome veil. Jing’s vibrant splendour that overshadowed the whole world was truly shocking under the light of the candles. Lu Cang’s heartbeat lost itself to insanity.

“When I first saw you today in the great hall, I knew in my heart that you’re the one destined for me in this life...” Feeling the sappiness of his words, Lu Cang blushed an even darker shade of red. “My wife, you’re so beautiful...”

Unable to control the desire deeply-nested in his heart, he cautiously leaned in to kiss that soft cheek. A fragrant breath invaded his senses. His heart swayed even wilder.

“My bride, it is late. Let us rest...”

As he finished in a quivering, gentle voice, Lu Cang carefully extended a hand over towards that tender beauty...

But abruptly, he was seized!

Xuan Yuan Jing gazed frigidly into Lu Cang’s eyes— full of flickering doubt— and forcefully arresting his captive’s left wrist. With a shove, he pressed Lu Cang down onto the bed.

The fluxing candlelight by the bed illuminated Lu Cang’s dashing contours and rousing, brilliant eyes. They were filled with thirst and desire, but at this moment, because of Jing’s strange actions, had begun to waver.

“Huh! Pretty good-looking!” Xuan Yuan Jing forgot to use his fake, falsetto voice. The clear, stirring, male mid-tone resonated within the cosy atmosphere of the bedroom.

As his voice resounded in Lu Cang’s ears...startled! This voice definitely belonged to a man!

“Who are you- ah!- what’re you doing?!” Before Lu Cang could ask questions, his hands had already been violently pulled towards the head of the bed. In spite of himself, Lu Cang let out a yell of surprise.

“Who-who are you? What’re you doing?” he demanded in alarm, almost in hysterical panic as Xuan Yuan Jing ripped off his clothes layer by layer.

Jing smiled. “Baby, isn’t it obvious? We’re going to consummate our marriage!”

Burying his head into that neck soft as sweet rice candy, Xuan Yuan Jing felt a powerful, vigorous, burning rise out of the deepest abode of his body. Originally, he had only planned on punishing this person by making him get a taste of his own medicine, but as Jing came into contact with Lu Cang’s resilient and rapturous skin, he was suddenly tempted to do it for real.

Frightened by his behaviour, Lu Cang screamed, “You-you- Oi, I’m a man!!” He was scared to the point couldn’t even speak clearly. 

 “I’m a man, too! So I think you know very well what I’m about to do, right?” Prompted by the need to find an exit for the mounting heat in his body, Jing aggressively pressed himself down on the Lu Cang below him. Feeling the heated hardness against his body, Lu Cang unmistakably understood what the man weighing down on top of him wanted to do. He felt his heart, brimming with fear, begin to tremble.

“Nononononono!!!!!” Shaking his head as though insane, Lu Cang struggled desperately to free himself. But Jing’s strength was greater than his. Lu Cang was completely trapped under Jing’s body, which was not so much bigger than his, just stronger.

Lu Cang’s senseless struggling only made Jing’s desire to conquer burn even more powerfully. Sucking viciously at the body beneath him, Jing made a trail all the way down to his waist.

“No, don’t—”Sensing those hands that reached towards the sash that held up his trousers, Lu Cang screamed in fear. But Jing completely ignored him, ripping open the loose sash fiercely.

The trousers slid down his legs with a slight shuffle. Lu Cang’s entire body was exposed under Jing’s wild gaze. That honey-coloured skin was smooth as silk cloth. Jing sighed at the touch, knowing that even he was inferior to such suppleness.

“Who knew...that mountain bandits can have such beautiful bodies...” Deviously chuckling, Jing snaked his hand towards the most secretive part of Lu Cang’s body.

Forcibly holding back his tears, Lu Cang still refused to give up his struggle. But under the confinement of the said-to-be “number one in the world*” Jing, Lu Cang had exactly no chance of escape. He can only helplessly endure as Jing played brutally and mercilessly with his body...

 A while later...

Even as Lu Cang cried and screamed like an injured animal, his originally unwilling length couldn’t withstand Jing’s clever rubbing and kneading, and, after a few jerks, it finally released itself into those flawless hands...

Staring at the thick, white secretion on Jing’s hands, Lu Cang felt so humiliated he would rather run into a wall and die! He...he couldn’t believe that he...by a man...!!!!!

Good heavens!

 But he didn’t have time to drawn in self-pity. What Jing did next almost made Lu Cang bite off his own tongue in an attempted suicide*.

“What’re you doing?! What’re you doing?!?! Get away!!!!” He screamed with every fibre of his strength, but he could do nothing at all to stop that nimble hand from creeping towards that place which hasn’t been touched since he had been born.

The hand covered in his own fluids penetrated the depth of his body, pressing on the soft, heated inner walls, seeking to relax the muscles inside.

“Hurts...” The moment it felt like his body was about to split open, a greater force invaded his inside...

Jing ruthlessly thrust himself into Lu Cang’s untainted backside. The tight, strained, but cushioned sensation made an enthralled exclamation rise from Jing’s throat.

“What a wonderful feeling!” Hearing such a carnal, lascivious phrase ringing in his ear, Lu Cang suddenly had a powerful wish to die, right then and there. After being used for something like this, what self-respect had he left to be the King of this manor?

Hopelessness seized his heart, but the physical pain failed to diminish. Not one bit.

“See if you still dare kidnap women next time!”  Jing said with no good intention. Wearing down Lu Cang’s already broken spirit, he began to rock his waist back and forth.

He drilled into the deepest part of Lu Cang’s body, rubbing hungrily against the exceedingly thin and nerve-filled inner wall. Lu Cang couldn’t help but feel the strange excitement that surged forward along with the agony.

“Ah! Spare me, spare me...I won’t do it again! I won’t do it again!”

Jing’s movements gradually sped up. Lu Cang couldn’t endure the torment of having his insides so violently stirred, and, no longer caring for his dignity as the King of the bandits, began to sharply scream and cry.

But how could Jing, who was on the cusp of fervid excitement, let Lu Cang go? Instead, he strengthened his plunging and thrusting...

The place that was forced open by the entrance ripped apart. Crimson blood flowed, down along Lu Cang’s pale thigh, falling upon the flawless, fine, white silk sheets.

“Spare me...spare me...Heavens save me...”

  Already so pained he could barely lift his voice, Lu Cang couldn’t help the tears from filling his eyes. He ducked his head, and the tears rolled drop by drop onto that red silk pillow, leaving wet tear marks one after the other.

.......

 The faraway henchmen house.

Hearing Lu Cang’s sharp cries, the henchmen all shared looks of doubt.

Finally, one person began in a trembling voice, “What a feisty bride. It seems as if the King’s so thrilled he might die...”

But that hellish deed was not over yet. Jing, whose superhuman endurance allowed him to come five times already inside Lu Cang, finally pulled himself out.

Lu Cang laid on the silk-covered bed like a broken rag doll. The white sheets, originally intended to test his “bride’s” virginity*, was now seeped in blood-red, piercing the eye like red flowers blooming on a field of snow.  

Seeing that arrogant face of Lu Cang’s reduced to a trail of tears and fate-bound helplessness, Jing broke into a sweet smile. To Lu Cang, that unearthly beauty seemed more frightening than the Demon King sitting on hell’s throne.

Searching the handsome, faultless body lying beneath him, Jing was determined to find some sort of secret birthmark or mole to leave proof of this thrilling affair. But he was disappointed.

Nothing? Frowning as he pondered in disappointment, Jing was abruptly struck by an idea. He fished around in his clothes that were discarded on the floor, then retrieved from inside his robe a miniscule, golden stamp*.   

Fear surfaced once again in Lu Cang’s heart as he watched Jing pass the golden stamp over the candle fire. With his voice hoarse from crying, Lu Cang managed, “You- What’re you doing?”

Before he could finish his question, Jing, with a devilish smile playing on his face, already neared the root of his inner thigh with the gold stamp. Unable to control himself, Lu Cang screamed in hysteria with the last ounce of his strength, “No, no!!! Don’t!!!!”

After a moment of hissing as skin scorched, Jing observed in full satisfaction the burn mark that nestled in Lu Cang’s most secretive place—a secret he could never tell.

“Now, you belong to me forever!”

Not waiting to rest, he retrieved another decorated box from inside his robe, taking out a small, round pill from within.

Lu Cang had no energy left to struggle. He watched helplessly as Jing sent the round pill into his backside. Meeting the heat inside, the pill quickly melted into his body.

“If you don’t want to be a knave who needs more than ten men to bang you here every day,” –Jing poked his finger in again on purpose, his voice of the calm that Lu Cang loathed with every fibre in his body— ,“on the fifteenth of next month, come to the Yue Long Bridge in the capital city for the cure.”

Without glancing to see Lu Cang’s reaction, Jing rose with a smile, dressed, and, in the blink of an eye, had already glided away.  

***

The following day.

The morning sun spilled into the bedroom.

Lu Cang, who hadn’t slept a wink the whole night, struggled to climb off the muddled bed, retrieving his ripped up clothes with trembling hands...

Gathering footsteps outside the door. He swiftly pulled the clothes over his bottom half, covered in blood and who-knew-whose white fluids.

The second-in-command strode into the room, spirited and refreshed. His eyes immediately landed on the bloodied white bed sheets.

“Wow, congratulations, big brother! She’s a legitimate good, isn’t she*?”

  “Get out! Get out, all of you!!”

Lu Cang bellowed with his low, hoarse voice. Swiping a large, porcelain vase off the bedside table, he blindly threw it towards his congratulators.

The men who came to give their congratulations quickly retreated out the room, not knowing what to do. Meanwhile, Lu Cang sat pitifully in a huddle on the floor. He hadn’t even the strength left to stand.

Carelessly grabbing a relatively clean piece of clothing to the side, Lu Cang covered his miserably-bruised chest. And just like that, sitting beside the bed, he began to cry in earnest anguish...

1 Confucian robes- type of robes worn by scholars in ancient China

2 Xiao Yue (小月)- Literal meaning of this name is Little Moon, Xiao being little. It’s a nickname, since Chinese people commonly add Xiao to a word from someone’s name to abbreviate it, for example Xiao X (or we add 儿 er to the end of a word, for example X Er).

3 Teacher (师傅/shifu)- same idea as sensei or master (as used by martial artists and apprentices of any trade). This is what Po calls the red panda kung-fu master in Kung-fu Panda (he calls him Master Shifu, which technically would be Master ‘Master’ if you translate the Shifu part literally).

4 Emperor of Han- refers to an emperor of the Han dynasty, not Jing (the current emperor). 

5 Wooden couch- common piece of furniture in ancient China. It was basically a long (and usually wider in width than your average TV sofa) couch, but they don’t make it out of mattress and pillows but intricately-carved and ridiculously expensive wood. A cotton mat of sorts is usually laid out on top for comfortable sitting/lying down. Such a couch can be used for sleeping, reclining, sitting, etc. (Oftentimes as a makeshift bed in rooms not meant to be bedrooms)

6 Doing heroic deeds- such a phrase, 行侠仗义 (xing xia zhang yi), is often used in the Chinese language to describe the role of a traditional Chinese hero—someone who has a strong sense of justice and loyalty, and very randomly helps people in need and do good whenever they see trouble. The author uses it here in jest, since the Emperor is very obviously bored and just wants entertain himself.

7 Your humble subject- Mu Yue is referring to himself. In Chinese, we have a habit of replacing “I” and “me” with different (usually modest) titles/names for ourselves (for example, a maid commonly refers to herself as “maidservant” and a young girl may refer to herself as “damsel”) When a government official speaks to the emperor he always refers to himself as “subject (臣/chen, only used for government people),” which would make no grammatical sense in English, so I altered it to both express the implied meaning and also make grammatical sense.

8 Traditional Chinese women’s clothing are robe-form skirts/dresses that drape down to the feet.

9 Yue Er- as mentioned earlier, we add Er to the end of a character of someone’s name to abbreviate/make it a nickname (usu. for females).

10 Xuan Yuan Jing- making a note here, Xuan Yuan is Jing’s surname. Yes, there are double-worded surnames in Chinese (though rare), such as Ou Yang or Mu Rong.

11 One li= approximately half a kilometre (500 metres). 

12 Back court- the Chinese court/royal palace is split up into front and back, the front being the political court and the back being the domestic, with concubines and children and lots of maids and eunuchs, etc. Technically, the back court is not allowed to get involved with politics but...ha...

13 Big brother (大哥)- Chinese people commonly address strangers such as “teacher/sensei,” “big brother,” or “grandmother” depending on your age and appearance as a form of respect. Of course, you would also call your actual big brother “big brother”...xD

14 Lady of the Stronghold- meaning, wife of the bandit leader. The Stronghold is basically their mountain headquarters.

15 King- he’s the literal king of the mountain, leader of the bandits. But his relationship with his followers is a gang brotherhood instead of a king-subordinate relationship.

16 Mainland- refers to China. In ancient China, mainland China doesn’t include Mongolia, Tibet, Xinjiang, or Manchuria.

17 Wulin (武林)- Wu, meaning martial arts/war, and lin, meaning woods, refers to the Chinese kung-fu community. It consists of many, many, many different branches and clans (some of the most famous few being Shaolin, Emei, and Wudang), and basically anyone who is concerned with/involved in/travels Jianghu (江湖, a term used interchangeably with wulin. The “world” of martial artists) and knows kung-fu/kung-fu related skills such as medicine, disguise, projectile/weaponry, etc. belongs in this community. They can be monks, nuns, Daoists, llamas, old men, little children, etc. They have their own rules and their own moral code, loyalty and abiding by one’s words being generally accepted as being the two most important. Note that the people of Jianghu/wulin are commonly juxtaposed against people of government and the court. They generally dislike each other.

18 Lu Cang (路苍)- I would like to make a note here that the mountain Mt. Lu Cang (露苍山) is not named after Lu Cang the character. The surname Lu and Lu in Mt. Lu Cang are DIFFERENT CHARACTERS. It is unclear whether or not Lu Cang the person is named after the mountain, since it is quite possible his name is an intended homonym of the mountain’s name. Chinese people love homonyms (I mean, LOVE).

19 Brothers- they’re not real brothers, but sworn brothers. This is common among really good friends or comrades in a close-knit organisation (esp. gangs).

20 Wine- rice wine. It’s clear in colour, quite strong in most cases, and smells really, really good. Whenever there’s a reference to wine, it’s rice wine.

21 Chinese marriages- I will hereby explain traditional ancient Chinese marriages. First of all, they decorate the place of marriage to be red. Like, red drapes, red words on the wall, red lanterns, red everything. The bride and groom both wear red (just think very red…). After the ceremonial three bows, which indicates marriage, (Bow to parents, bow to heaven, bow to each other) is over, everyone gathers for a feast, except for the bride. She, through the entire ceremony, has a red veil over her face, and waits in the bedroom for her husband through the entire feast (I know right, why no feast?!), and when he comes in (after drinking and talking with his guests) he takes off her veil and they consummate their marriage. That’s what Liu Cuo was referring to when he said the “golden night of marriage.” 

22 Number one in the world- refers to number one kung-fu skills in the world.

23 Bite...suicide- in China, it is traditionally believed that one could commit suicide by biting off one’s own tongue.

24 Testing his “bride’s” virginity- the original meaning here is actually a reference to testing 落红, which literally means “fall red.” During a girl’s first time, oftentimes she may bleed a little, but if she doesn’t, that doesn’t automatically mean she’s not a virgin. So, basically, the author is being morbidly ironic by describing the sheets as originally intended to test the virginity of his bride. 

25 Chinese stamps- stamps in China hold much more private significance than in the West. A usual Chinese stamp is carved on the bottom of a small, rectangular block of jade. Commoners usu. get their names carved (like moi), but people with prestigious titles get their titles carved, also. So, more decoration and titles you have, the more stamps you would have (for example, you could get one carved for “Military General of X” and at the same time “Earl of Y”, etc.). This stamp is usu. used in place of a signature.

26 He’s congratulation her because he thought that she was a virgin (because of the blood).