Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 6 - Chapter 3

3. With All My Heart

—And? So what if it had been? Did that mean anything?

It didn’t. There was nothing he could do about it.

Haruhiro’s emotions had nothing to do with the way they all lived day to day. His feelings had no influence on that.

He had settled those feelings now, or comes to terms with them, you could say. In fact, all his frustration had evaporated at this point. He didn’t even care what was going on between Merry and Kuzaku anymore.

Well, it hadn’t gotten quite to the point where he could think, I wish them both the best, but, Sure, fine, do whatever you want. Oh, by the way, you may think you’re keeping it quiet, but I know—

Maybe?

Yeah, honestly, he couldn’t think that either.

They thought it was a secret, but he knew. What could he do to resolve that gap? Should he try to resolve it at all? He wasn’t sure.

It was awkward.

So, when the idea of Let’s go back to Alterna for a little while came up, it was a huge help.

He had saved up a good amount of money, so it was about time for him to learn at least one new skill, and he wanted to do some shopping, too.

Also, he wanted to face himself properly. Or rather, he wanted some time. Sorting out his feelings, and all that stuff, it wasn’t that easy!

Over the course of about two days, they traveled from the Dusk Realm Settlement, passing through the Lonesome Field Outpost, then crossing the Quickwind Plains, to Alterna.

They parted there for a time. Haruhiro went to the thieves’ guild, where he spent seven days learning Stealth, the ultimate thieving skill. He had debated whether to take the skill Air Throw from the art of fighting and killing instead, but as the party’s plain and boring leader who doubled as its scout, what he really wanted was the full set of skills that would let him conceal his presence and not be detected by others.

He paid 20 gold to the guild for it. That wasn’t cheap—it was expensive, actually—but if he didn’t learn it properly, he would be missing out. Besides, Haruhiro’s mentor Barbara was super strict, so there was no chance of her letting him cut corners.

“I thought I was going to die...” Haruhiro moaned.

This time, without any joking or exaggeration, he had been told to die. To become a corpse.

Stealth was composed of what could broadly be categorized into three techniques:

The first, to eliminate your presence—Hide.

The second, to move with your presence eliminated—Swing.

The third, to utilize all of your senses to detect the presences of others—Sense.

When he’d begun with Hide, the first stage, Barbara had ordered Haruhiro, Die! and then mercilessly punished him when he couldn’t do it well enough. She’d broken two, maybe three bones, then forced him to train at using Hide in that state.

There was this one person with a shady background, a former thief who had now become a priest. When someone was injured at the thieves’ guild, he would come to heal them, but it was still questionable whether she should be driving her students to the point of nearly passing out in extreme agony. It was just cruel.

As Barbara-sensei told it, if she didn’t break him in under these extreme conditions, he wouldn’t learn properly. She was doing this all for him. He ought to be crying tears of gratitude.

As a matter of fact, it was a trial he couldn’t get through without shedding tears. He could see how what Barbara was saying had some truth to it. However, if he had made one misstep, Haruhiro might have died. It was scary.

Having borne through it had paid off, though. The basics of Stealth had now thoroughly seeped into Haruhiro’s head and body and would never leave them. Now, even when he was just idly wandering through Alterna in the evening, he would catch himself using Hide, Swing, and Sense without intending to. It was a little creepy, if he did say so himself.

You’ve got an aptitude for this, Barbara had said, offering him a rare compliment. You must really be suited to this line of work.

“Well...” Haruhiro smiled a little as he melded into the crowds of the marketplace. “I was glad to hear that, yeah...”

Even though it’s for being a thief, you know? he thought. It goes without saying, but a thief is someone who steals things. A robber.

Apparently, the thieves’ guild had its origins in a secret society of thieves, Black Widow, who’d worked behind the scenes in the Kingdom of Arabakia. When Arabakia had advanced into the frontier, Black Widow had offered to assist the Royal Army in exchange for the release of their imprisoned comrades. This offer had been accepted, and some of those former prisoners who’d been sent to certain death as scouts in the frontier had gone on to create the thieves’ guild.

Quite the heroic tale, really, Haruhiro thought. Is it because of those origins that the thieves’ guild’s training is so rough? Or is Barbara-sensei just a sadist?

Whichever the case might be, a thief was still a thief. Some of them misused the skills they had acquired in the thieves’ guild to indulge in a life of endless larceny. Haruhiro hadn’t thought much about it before becoming a thief, or rather, he hadn’t thought about it at all, but when he said, I’m a thief, it made more than a few people furrow their brows. Especially those living normal lives in Alterna.

That’s just prejudice, he might try to explain. Most of the thieves in the thieves’ guild are volunteer soldiers, and they don’t steal anything. But the art of thieving still had skills like Picking, Burglary, and even Pickpocket, all of which had practical applications. If one were so inclined, a thief could turn to robbery at any time. It was hard to blame people for being wary.

“It’s not a respected trade, I guess,” Haruhiro murmured.

He liked skulking around and doing reconnaissance. It suited him, to the point that he thought it was his calling.

But a thief, huh...

“Maybe they should have changed the name...”

When the guild was formed, they wouldn’t have had to call themselves thieves. They should have gone with something else. Or did our predecessors who founded the thieves’ guild take pride in the fact that they were thieves? No, but is that something you’d take pride in?

“The thieves’ guild has no code, so someone could even start up another guild... No, not that I’d do that, of course,” he murmured. “Won’t someone else do it for me?”

If someone did, Haruhiro would join that guild in a second.

I’d be a bit sad to break off my master-and-apprentice relationship with Barbara-sensei, maybe? Maybe not? I mean, Sensei’s scary.

Well, it wasn’t as if he was seriously considering it. It didn’t really matter that much.

Ranta had said he’d be spending six days learning a dark fighting skill, Missing. Shihoru had said she’d be spending five days on Shadow Pond, which belonged to her main focus, Darsh Magic, and then two days trying to learn the Kanon Magic spell Ice Globe. Yume had seemed to have something in mind, and she’d planned to spend a total of seven days on skills like Hunting, Tracking, Pit Trap, and Bear Trap.

Because Merry couldn’t use light magic in the Dusk Realm, she had chosen to spend five days learning the self-defense skill Revenge, while Kuzaku had decided to spend six days learning the defensive swordsmanship techniques Guard and Tug of War.

Haruhiro, Shihoru, and Yume had spent seven days on training, Ranta and Kuzaku six, and Merry five. As for the Tokkis, Anna-san and Tada had finally learned Sacrament. The others had each worked hard on their own training, then used their leftover time to do whatever. Tomorrow everyone would be meeting back up.

Ranta was probably in Celestial Alley around now, womanizing. Haruhiro didn’t know much about it, but Alterna had brothels... Was that what you’d call them? Places where you paid money for women to be with you, and there was no shortage of people who patronized them.

In fact, Ranta had invited him to come along once. When he’d refused, Ranta had snapped at him. He’d apparently lacked the guts to go alone, and had been trying to drag Haruhiro with him. If he’d wanted to go, he should have just held his head high and done it. However, Ranta just hadn’t been able to push himself to take that step, and he no doubt still hadn’t gone. He was probably at a bar with girls who would pour his drinks for him, drowning his sorrows, or out hitting on girls or something.

Merry and Kuzaku were—

Well, you know? They’re probably off somewhere together. Of course they would be! They seem to be going out, I mean. I wonder if they’re doing it. Not that I mind. Please, build a wonderful family for yourselves. Am I getting ahead of myself? Well, it could happen eventually. I feel like that could be a good thing...? Maybe...?

The bell began to toll. It was the bell for six o’clock in the evening. The time-keeping bell in Alterna started ringing every two hours at six o’clock in the morning. At six o’clock in the evening, it would toll seven times to inform people of the coming of night, then it would go to sleep until the next day. Shops in the marketplace would begin to close, while Celestial Alley would become more lively.

Haruhiro stopped in front of the Yorozu Deposit Company. “Hey.”

“You late, yeah!” Anna-san said, puffing her cheeks up angrily and jumping. “Maybe not, yeah?! Because you not actually late, yeah?! But, for date, the man has to come early?! Yeah!”

Haruhiro bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You not acting with straightness, yeah?!”

“...You mean sincerity.”

“With sincerity, yeah!”

“Oh, I get it,” Haruhiro said. She meant being straight with her, huh? I mean, I thought she was talking about the other kind of straightness. How embarrassing.

Haruhiro hesitantly looked up at the tall girl who towered over Anna-san. “...Hey.”

“Yeah.” Mimorin smiled—maybe? Her expression never changed much, so it was hard to tell. “I’ve wanted to see you.”

Her words were direct enough there was no way to misunderstand. She was so direct that it made his stomach hurt.

“...I see,” he murmured.

“You, Haruhiro?” she demanded.

“Huh, me?”

“Did you want to see me, too?”

“Um...”

Haruhiro hung his head. It made him want to give a diplomatic response. If he did, that would have been easier. For the moment, at least. But he couldn’t do that.

Haruhiro raised his face, looking Mimorin in the eyes. “Maybe not so much.”

“Gasp,” she said.

“Saying that in a deadpan voice doesn’t help...”

“I’m very hurt. My heart is broken.”

“There, there, yeah.” Anna-san rubbed Mimorin’s back, or rather her butt. He could see the tears welling up in Mimorin’s eyes, and even Haruhiro had to be taken aback by that.

“No, hold on—h-huh? Where’s Kikkawa? He was supposed to be here today, too...”

“There were circumferences?” Anna-san said, continuing to rub Mimorin’s butt as she shrugged. “Oh! No. Circumstances? That why Kikkawa not here, yeah.”

“With Kikkawa, there would have been four of us, and we could have had a productive time getting to know one another. That was why I said okay to this...”

“In life, there is ups, there is downs! Yeah?” Anna-san said.

“I don’t get it...”

“Bullshit, you need to understand a maiden’s heart, darn it! Yeah!”

“It’s fine.” Mimorin wiped the tears from her eyes using both of her index fingers. “This isn’t enough to discourage me.”

Be discouraged, please...

Haruhiro did think that, but it wasn’t like he wanted to break Mimorin’s heart. If possible, he didn’t want her to be hurt.

She might be in someone else’s party, but they were like allies, so he wanted to get along. At the very least, he didn’t want it to be a strained atmosphere. He didn’t want anything special, just for things to feel normal between them. However, Mimorin didn’t feel the same way for some reason, and he had repeatedly received invitations to go out with her through Anna-san.

At first, it had been for one-on-one meetings with Mimorin. Well, basically something like a date. It had been clear Anna-san was trying to get him to just go with the flow and hook up with her, so he’d politely declined.

That still hadn’t made Mimorin give up, and Anna-san had probably gotten upset by it, too, so he’d been asked on dates over and over. Ultimately, even Tokimune had asked him to Please, go on a date with her, just once.

If he’d kept on stubbornly refusing, he’d figured he might rub people the wrong way, but Haruhiro could be pretty stubborn. He had given conditions.

A one-on-one meeting was out of the question. Because, as he had already clearly told her, Haruhiro wasn’t interested. If someone else was present, and it was strictly as friends, Haruhiro didn’t hate Mimorin or anything, so he wouldn’t have a problem with that. That was how it came to be that Mimorin, Anna-san, plus one other person would occasionally go out for food with Haruhiro, or they’d go on walks together.

This time, because they were back in Alterna for the first time in a while, the suggestion had been that the four of them—Mimorin, Anna-san, Haruhiro, and Kikkawa—would go to a decent restaurant to get dinner together. There had been no reason for him to say no, so he’d accepted.

Honestly, he’d still felt a little hesitant. But he couldn’t deny they were starting to feel a little bit vaguely like friends, so maybe they could get through this fine? That was what he’d thought.

Maybe he’d been being naïve. He’d fallen right into their trap.

He wasn’t pleased.

He wasn’t angry either, though. Getting angry would only make him tired.

“Well, anyway, shall we get something to eat?” Haruhiro asked.

“I’ll eat.” Mimorin gave a powerful nod.

Whoa, thought Haruhiro. Mimorin’s eyes are sparkling. Is she that happy?

When someone else is that happy, it’s hard not to be happy about it. But, well, I don’t dislike her, you know? As a person. I do think she’s pretty weird, though. She’s too tall, which means I have to look up at her and my neck hurts, but that’s not a major problem.

The three of them headed towards a place Anna-san said she’d picked out. Surprisingly, the cook, who was also the proprietor, was an elf man. This restaurant was popular for its spicy meat and wide variety of vegetable dishes.

It was a long, narrow restaurant, and crowded, too, but they managed to get inside somehow. There was a small table in the back with four-legged chairs around it. Anna-san and Mimorin sat on one side, while Haruhiro sat across from them. The ordering was done by Anna-san, who really liked to be in charge on occasions like this.

The herbal beer went down easier than normal beer. Every dish gave off a wonderful aroma that stimulated the appetite, and the flavor was quite good, too.

During the meal, Mimorin said nothing. Anna-san was talkative, though she always was. Also, Mimorin sat up straight, barely making any noise. The way she ate was very neat.

Anna-san’s eating was pretty rough. To be perfectly frank, her manners were atrocious. The truth was, Haruhiro couldn’t stand people who were always dropping their food, knocking things flying, and chewing loudly. He didn’t tell her off or frown at her, but he did wish she could do something about it.

On that point, he had a favorable view of Mimorin. Honestly, he didn’t hate her as a person.

“So?” Anna-san, who seemed to have gotten a little tipsy, fixed her gaze on him, then let out a belch that smelled strongly of herbs. “What unearth you not like about Mimorin? You are just a stupid Haruhiro. What the hell, cherry boy!”

“What on Earth, you mean...” Haruhiro glanced over to gauge Mimorin’s expression.

Their eyes met. She was staring at him hard.

“Wait, that’s what we’re talking about? I’m ready to say let’s just be friends, really...”

“You may be fine with it, but Mimorin is not fine, yeah!” Anna shouted. “Figure that out, dummy! Understand?”

“No understand,” he said flatly.

“Why not?! Dead or death?!”

“If those are my options, I’m dead either way...”

“No witty comebacks! You answer!” Anna-san banged on the table. “What wrong with Mimorin, yeah?! If you not have good reasons, I not forgive you, yeah?!”

“Anna-san, c-calm down,” Haruhiro muttered.

“How can I calm down, huh?!”

“Well, at least keep it quiet...”

“Why, you, why you so calm?! Fuck, you piss me off!”

“I don’t know what to say to you there.”

The restaurant grew quieter as Anna-san got more and more heated up. This was really awkward.

Haruhiro loudly cleared his throat, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t want to have this talk, but if he didn’t give a serious answer, Anna-san wasn’t going to stop.

“Well... I dunno,” Haruhiro said. “It’s not... what is it? It’s not that there’s something wrong with her, or that I dislike her, or anything like that, you know.”

“Then,” Mimorin asked, leaning in, “what?”

“Hmm...” Haruhiro closed his eyes, rubbing them with both his hands. “I’m not confident I can explain it all that well. I get the feeling... I lack the experience.”

“It’s the same for me,” said Mimorin.

“And for Anna-san, too, yeah?!”

“...I-I see. Erm, so, it’s, like, you know? It’s not a logical thing, right? This kind of stuff isn’t. I mean, obviously, yeah? There’re things like liking the person’s face, or them having been kind to you, that sort of stuff. The reasons people, basically, fall in love, and such? The triggers. In some cases, there may be one, but is that all there is to it? Maybe not....”

“I love you, Haruhiro,” said Mimorin. “You’re right, there’s no logic behind it.”

“No, listen—”

He almost said, Thank you, but he forced himself to stop. There was no question that he was feeling inconvenienced by it. If he thanked her, that would be a lie.

“Yeah,” Haruhiro said. “Somehow, well, yeah... Like, right, erm, it’s not what’s not good about you, it’s that I just don’t have those sorts of feelings for you whatsoever, you know. It’s bad of me to say that so bluntly. No, maybe it isn’t?”

“Of course you are bad, yeah?! Ohhh, Mimoriiiin, Mimoriiiin...”

Anna-san lost her mind, trying to hug Mimorin around the shoulders—but, given their relative sizes, she couldn’t possibly hug her. It was an impossible challenge.

Give it your best shot, Anna-san, Haruhiro thought. Mimorin is still crying. But man, she sure looks like she’s in anguish. When I look at her, it makes my chest hurt. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give in to emotion, though.

Anna-san started to tear up, too, and when she glared at him with her teary, reddened eyes, he honestly wanted to run away. “Haruhiro is heartless! Such a cold-hearted man, yeah?!”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “I can’t blame you for calling me that.”

“You corn seed?!”

“Huh? Corn seed...? Oh, I concede?” Haruhiro asked.

“That! That’s the word, yeah?! How did you know?! That amazing!”

“Well, I’ll have to admit, I’m amazed I got it myself, but—”

“That doesn’t matter, yeah!” Anna-san yelled.

“Of course it doesn’t...”

“No,” Mimorin said with a sniffle. “Haruhiro isn’t cold-hearted.”

“What?!” Anna-san shouted.

“Haruhiro isn’t cold,” said Mimorin. “He’s just not a liar.”

“Nghhh.” Anna groaned, holding her head. “Not a liar? But...”

You’re starting to act like a middle-aged man there, Anna-san, thought Haruhiro.

“He just doesn’t say things that would leave a false impression.” Mimorin bit her lip hard. “He doesn’t give me, whom he doesn’t love, any hope.”

“Gwahhhhhhhhhhh.” Anna-san started pulling out her hair, forcing herself to speak with a voice that sounded like she might start coughing up blood. “Mimoriiiiiiiiiin, you not have to say all that, yeah?!”

“I understand it.”

“Buuuut—”

“I love that about him, too.”

“Ohhhhhhhh!”

“I love you.” Mimorin stared at Haruhiro as the tears streamed down her face. “So, please, let me keep you as a pet. No, wrong one. Go out with me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I expected that response.”

Haruhiro went on hesitantly. “Well, you know... even if the whole pet thing is kind of weird, I can see you’re serious about this, and, well, I can understand, but... while I comprehend it, in my own way, still... but that’s what makes it all the worse... like, you know? I can’t just say whatever...”

“You idiot!” Anna-san shouted, pointing her finger at Haruhiro. “Are you stupid?! You at the age when you want to do it all the time! Day and night, you think about it! That’s you, young! Why not just go out with her and do it? You can, can’t you? You’re in mating season! Yeah!”

“You’re getting a little lewd there, Anna-san,” said Haruhiro.

“Shut up, yeah! You look! Mimorin’s boobies! Boing! She have very good body! She does, yeah?! You not want to sink your teeth into that?!”

“No, I’m not going to be doing that,” said Haruhiro. “I’m not Ranta. Well, he’s all talk, too, so I doubt he’d actually do anything.”

“Mimorin is head over eels for you!”

“You mean head over heels...”

“With her endless sexniques, she serve you endlessly, no doubt about it!”

“...Sexniques?”

“Sexual techniques are sexniques, yeah?! Special technique! You know?!”

“Yeah... Kind of. But you’re saying it kind of loud...”

“What’s more, she is a virgin! Virgin! Not even had her first kiss yet!”

“That’s true.” For some reason, Mimorin confirmed this with straight face.

Was that an important point, maybe? Haruhiro didn’t really get it, but there was one thing that seemed off to him if it was true.

“Huh? ...Then what about this special... technique?”

“I’ll study.” Mimorin nodded again. “It’s fine.”

“Just leave it to Anna-san, yeah?!” Anna-san thumped one hand on her ample, though not so ample as Mimorin’s, bosom. “Anna-san take her by the hand and teach her each and every technique there is, yeah!”

“You have a lot of experience... then?” Haruhiro asked hesitantly.

“Don’t be silly, pervert boy! I’m obviously a fresh virgin, yeah?!”

“No, but then—”

“Heh heh,” Anna-san put on a bold smile and pinched her own earlobe. “Anna-san knows so much about sex. I’m the kind of girl who comes along once in a century, you know? It will be easy.”

“...I see.”

“In my imagination, I make more than a million guys climax, you know?”

“Maybe you’re fantasizing a little too much.”

“It was obviously a joke, yeah?! Because Anna-san’s a pure, proper, holy virgin!”

“Okay, fine. Whatever...”

Haruhiro took a sip of his herbal beer and looked downwards. The inside of the restaurant wasn’t silent like it had been a moment ago, but Haruhiro and the others were still drawing attention, and more than a few customers were listening in. Anna-san sure liked her dirty jokes. Haruhiro didn’t especially hate them or anything, but he didn’t like them all that much, either.

“So, how about it?!” Anna-san took a long swig of her herbal beer, then let out a satisfied sigh. “For now, you try going out with her? Try it? Not a bad deal, yeah? Because, with her nice body, you drown in dirty desire every day?”

“Yeah, no, I’ll pass.”

“Fuck you!” Anna-san flipped him the bird.

No matter what they said, he wasn’t going to cave in on this. Especially because they were his allies—but even if they weren’t, he’d have felt the same. He wasn’t keen on going out with someone he had no romantic feelings for. Or rather, Haruhiro felt it was impossible for him to do that. Even if she paid him, he’d feel that way. No, if he was offered money, that might make it even worse.

Maybe I’m just being stubborn? he thought. I can’t deny the possibility, but the point is that that’s just how I am.

“Is there any...” Mimorin started, then the tears started running again and she wiped them with her hand. “I’m sorry. For crying.”

“...No,” he murmured. He didn’t know why, but that made his heart skip a beat. Now why might that be? Why had his heart skipped a beat? Haruhiro himself didn’t know at all. “Y-You don’t need to apologize. Erm, it would help if you’d stop crying. It’s not like I want to make you cry. I don’t want you to cry...”

“This is a first for me,” said Mimorin. “I’m so sad, it hurts.”

“...Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, Haruhiro. I just went and fell in love with you on my own.”

“Er, well, yeah, that’s true, but...”

“Can I continue with my question?” Mimorin asked.

“Oh, go ahead.”

“Is there any possibility?”

“...Of what?”

“Even if you can’t do it now. Someday...”

“Um, you mean at some point in the future?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Hrm...”

Haruhiro wanted to writhe and squirm, but he desperately restrained himself.

I’m not sure. That’s a really tough one. I’m stumped.

He felt that, maybe, telling her No, at no point in the future would it ever be possible might be the kind thing to do here. It was wrong for her to fall in love with someone like Haruhiro in the first place. Time wasn’t infinite. Even now, it was ticking by. It wasn’t as if he didn’t think she should give up on him and find someone else—but, you know?

Was that something for Haruhiro to decide? Mimorin, in her own way, had found something appealing in Haruhiro. As a result, she had fallen in love with him. Did Haruhiro have any right to deny those feelings?

Having worked alongside the Tokkis, he had gotten a sense for what Mimorin was like. True, she was strange. She was a mage, but she couldn’t ditch the habits she’d picked up as a warrior. It scared him when he saw her running up front and waving her sword around. However, she was strong, and she was good with a sword, too. She also cared deeply for her comrades.

Occasionally, she was adorable.

He didn’t really hate her as a person. If anything, he actually liked her.

The way she came straight at him and did nothing but push her affection on him was what he had a problem with. If not for that, honestly, he would have had no issues with her.

He even had a positive view of Mimorin’s personality. At the very least, he liked her enough that he wanted to respect her thoughts and feelings.

Haruhiro didn’t know what to do about Mimorin’s affection and thought, If only we were just friends, that would be easier, but even so... wasn’t it wrong for Haruhiro to try to change her values or feelings to get rid of her bothersome feelings for him? After all, Haruhiro was only thinking about his own convenience.

Besides, if he were to tell her there was no possibility of them ever getting together, sure, he could say that, but wasn’t it a lie? No one knew what tomorrow might bring. It was questionable whether they’d even still be alive.

Despite that, might it be best to tell that lie?

Or should he be honest to a fault?

What was right? What should he do for Mimorin? For Mimorin? Was Haruhiro really thinking of Mimorin? Wasn’t he just pretending to care for her? Wasn’t he being a hypocrite?

“Can I give it to you straight?” Haruhiro asked at last. “Well, I’m going to. I don’t know what’s possible. I don’t know the future. That’s not just me; it’s the same for anybody. Just, right now, honestly, I think you’re an interesting person. It’s fun to watch you, and I don’t mind talking at all, but I can’t consider a romantic relationship. I really do feel like, ‘Can’t we just be friends?’ I can’t do anything more than that right now. Maybe, some years from now, I might decide I do like you that way, but I don’t want to think about that. It’s not reliable. Even if I started feeling that way, you might already have a boyfriend by then, and there would be nothing I could do about it. It’s a matter of timing, you know. I can only speak for now, sorry. I have my hands full just worrying about the present.”

Mimorin stared intently into Haruhiro’s eyes, listening closely. It wasn’t that Haruhiro didn’t find that intimidating, but he did his best not to look away. When he finished, all of his strength left him.

I must have really sleepy eyes right now, he thought. He wasn’t sleepy, but he was exhausted.

“I understand,” Mimorin said, her whole face twitching. She narrowed her eyes, raising both corners of her lips in what was probably a smile.

She understood. Thank goodness. Haruhiro closed his eyes and let out a sigh. That’s a load off my shoulders.

You know, my body’s not that big, and my belly isn’t either, so there’s a limit to how much I can carry. I can only carry so many responsibilities. I lead the party, and I do my job as a thief. That’s the limit for me. I don’t have the time to think or do anything about other stuff.

That’s right. Like romance. I don’t have time for it. The same goes for Merry. If I’d had the room to do so, I’d have said something. Yeah. Maybe not. No way. It wouldn’t have happened. Never. I couldn’t have done it.

It’s something to be grateful for, he realized. Despite his inadequacies, Mimorin had fallen in love with him. This kind of good fortune probably didn’t come along often. It might never come again. This could be the last time. Rejecting it might be a terrible waste.

But what else could he do? It was true he didn’t feel that way for her now. He really couldn’t lie about that. He didn’t want to deceive himself, or to deceive Mimorin. He couldn’t.

“Well, there you have it,” he said.

“But I love you.”

“...Come again?” he asked.

When he opened his eyes, Mimorin was staring at Haruhiro. Without a speck of doubt in them, her eyes were serious and filled with sincerity.

“Right now, I love you. I love Haruhiro. Is that wrong?”

“Whew...” Anna-san whistled, shrugging to the point that her shoulders touched her head. “Mimorin sure is stubborn. Like a rock, yeah? No, like steel, maybe?”

Haruhiro looked down at the ground and scratched the back of his head. No... Is it wrong? I’m not the one to ask. It’s not a matter of it being wrong or not. I have no right to tell her not to. That’s Mimorin’s choice. I have to respect that.

In the end, saying, Thank you for understanding. Well, let’s be friends, then would be just a convenient way of handling it for Haruhiro. Whether Mimorin accepted it or not was up to her.

In the same way, whether Haruhiro accepted Mimorin’s feelings or not was up to him, but Haruhiro couldn’t change Mimorin’s feelings. Mimorin’s feelings belonged to Mimorin alone.

“It’s not wrong,” he said.