Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 16 - Chapter 18

18. What I Didn’t Know About You

Kuzaku, Merry, Setora, Ranta, and Yume were supplied with black equipment. Merry got a battle staff, Setora a spear and longsword, and Yume as many arrows as she needed.

Haruhiro had been wearing a black cloak to begin with, but the others were all ordered to wear them, too. Refusing wasn’t an option. They had to do as they were told.

Before dawn, the military banner flying in Alterna had been exchanged for a new one. The new design bore a red moon and a sword on a black field.

The six o’clock bell rang.

The Expeditionary Force became the Frontier Army, and Jin Mogis became the Commander.

As the bell chimed for the second time, Hiyo dropped by Tenboro Tower. She was there to pay her respects to the Commander, and engage in some pleasant chatter over breakfast.

When the bell tolled for the third time, the Commander went out into Alterna with Hiyo, Neal the scout, and a hundred-odd Black Cloaks. They were scheduled to meet with the king of the goblins in the Old City of Damuro at noon. If the talks between Hiyo and the ugoths went off without a hitch, there would be an alliance between the Frontier Army and the goblin race in the name of Jin Mogis and Mogado Gwagajin.

“That bastard. Treating us like a bunch of fools...” Ranta grumbled while squatting in front of Tenboro Tower’s main gate. He was wearing his usual mask, but it was shifted up to his forehead. If it was that much of a hindrance, he shouldn’t have worn it at all.

“But still...” Kuzaku was leaning against the wall to the right of the gate, rubbing his arms with his hands. “We couldn’t even lay a hand on him. If he treats us like fools, what can we say about it?”

“You idiot!” Ranta yelled at Kuzaku. It would have been nice if he’d presented some evidence before calling people idiots, but he probably didn’t have any. “You’re an idiot...” Ranta just repeated himself.

Setora was standing next to Kuzaku. She hadn’t said much since the night before. Even when they tried to talk to her, they could only get responses like, “Yeah,” or, “Mm-hm.”

Merry and Yume, who were standing close together on the left side of the gate, seemed to be in a daze. Like their souls had slipped out of their bodies.

Haruhiro wanted to kick Ranta, who was right next to him, in the back. He wouldn’t, though. Why was this guy the only one squatting? It pissed him off. But that anger was misdirected.

Haruhiro’s group had been ordered to guard Tenboro Tower. Basically, they were holding down the fort. Now, were they disappointed about missing the historic moment when an alliance would be forged between the human and goblin races? No, not in the slightest. Honestly, it didn’t matter to them, but they were being coerced. They weren’t devoted to Jin Mogis. The Commander had to know that, which was why they had been ordered to defend Tenboro Tower while he wasn’t around.

Now, Haruhiro wasn’t like Ranta, but he had to agree that they were being treated like fools.

Everything should have worked out, but their plans went awry. It had been a catastrophic failure. Not only did they fail to take Shihoru back, Kiichi had been killed. He was Setora’s pet, but Haruhiro had felt pretty attached to Kiichi, too. The nyaa had helped them out so much. It had felt natural for him to just be there. When he closed his eyes, he saw the moment Kiichi was cut to pieces. He felt a seething rage burning him from the inside. Haruhiro hated Jin Mogis. He feared him, too. What was that bizarre power? It wasn’t human. He could have massacred them. Why were they still alive?

The man had spared them. That was the only reason.

It shouldn’t have turned out that way.

If they set their minds to it, the party was capable of killing Jin Mogis at any time. But that would have given rise to inconvenient complications, so they held off.

Except, that wasn’t true. No, had it just ceased to be true?

“...The ring. Was it the power of that ring?”

It stuck out. The ring on Jin Mogis’s left index finger. Yeah. Haruhiro was suspicious of it.

“It’s a relic...”

“I’ll bet,” Ranta agreed with a laugh full of despair. “I’ve met my fair share of tough guys. But that was something else. Besides, there was something weird about it.”

“What do you mean, weird?” Haruhiro asked, and Ranta turned to face him.

“Something instantly sapped my energy. Didn’t you feel it? Or were you too dense to notice?”

“...I felt it. But, hold on, can we not have a conversation without you constantly deriding me?”

“Hey, I’m not doing it because I want to, okay? I’ve got to do it. I have no choice. You understand? If you don’t want to get insulted, don’t make me do it. Then you’ll be happy that I’m not calling you out on your failings, and I’ll be happy that I don’t have to waste my breath. It’s a win-win, really.”

“There you go, making it all someone else’s fault...” Haruhiro started to argue, but gave up. He sighed. It was time to calm down, and think. That was all he could do for now. “...Yeah. You’re right. All of us got weaker... and the Black Cloaks who were there probably did, too. Did it feel to us like Mogis got stronger because of that...?”

“Nah,” Ranta shook his head, then looked down. “...You can’t explain what happened with it just being a feeling. He didn’t just look fast. He was fast, and super strong, too... Did he gain as much strength as we lost...? Like, if we were to put a number on our power, we went from a ten down to an eight, or a seven, and that bastard used what we lost to power himself up... All the pieces fit if that’s the case.”

“No way...”

How could something so unfair happen?

But Haruhiro couldn’t deny it was possible.

“A relic, huh? ...If he’s got one, then Mogis is—”

“I dunno about that.” Ranta raised his face, glaring at the sky with upturned eyes. “Let’s assume the ring is a relic, and it has the power I guessed. Do you think he got that relic by himself?”

“...I’m going to guess no. I’m sure that Hiyo... and the master of the Forbidden Tower gave it to him.”

“Okay, moving on. Now, assume I’m the master of the Forbidden Tower. Would I give him an item that made him invincible? Even if I was only lending it to him temporarily? He’s not family, or a friend I trust to never betray me. Jin Mogis is ambitious, and clearly dangerous.”

“Well... I wouldn’t give it to him at all.”

“There’s got to be a hole in it somewhere, don’t you think?”

“A hole...?”

“A flaw, I guess? A limitation, or some drawback... When did the effect wear off? By the time Merry healed me, I didn’t feel weak anymore.”

Haruhiro touched his cheek. “...I honestly don’t know. But it’s true that he took us down in no time. Mogis left the great hall after that... When Merry healed me, I don’t think my body felt heavy anymore, either.”

“The duration of the effect might be short. Can he use it repeatedly? If not, then he can only use it when it really counts. Could be why he lured us in. When we made our big gamble it was the perfect time for him to use the ring...”

“So, you’re saying... we were dancing in the palm of his hand?”

“Because we didn’t know what his cards were.”

Ranta stood up, and snapped his fingers.

“We had two pieces on the board, me and Yume, that he didn’t know about, either. But we lacked the power to overcome his trump card — this time, at least.”

Ranta turned and looked around behind him. Then, frowning, he let out a scornful laugh.

“You all look like such a bunch of sad sacks. It’s pathetic. I have to lead this bunch of gloomers to beat that piece of shit? This’s gonna be such a headache.”

“...Whuh?” Kuzaku stared blankly at Ranta.

“Lead...?” Merry had a dubious look on her face. Yume blinked repeatedly.

“...Oh?” Setora was impassive. Looking at Ranta without looking at him.

“I mean, obviously, it’s gotta be me.” Ranta pointed to the heavens, then jabbed his index finger into his own chest. “You think a sad, dejected, depressed, demotivated, weak coward can take you where you need to go?”

Who was that weak coward supposed to be?

Haruhiro, of course.

It was harsh, but he couldn’t get mad about it. There was no room for argument. Ranta was clearly trying to provoke Haruhiro. But Haruhiro couldn’t even fight back. Seriously, how could he? He didn’t have the will left to make excuses.

“You, too,” Ranta gestured to Kuzaku with his chin.

“And you.” And to Merry.

“And you, and you,” And to Yume and Setora, too.

“You’re all in more or less the same sad state. That’s the reason. If a loser leads a bunch of losers, that’ll just lead to an exponential growth in loser-ness, now won’t it?”

“No, but...” Kuzaku mumbled. Ranta laughed.

“Well, I’m different, okay?”

What a nasty grin.

Was he deliberately playing the heel? Or was he just so vile that he couldn’t be bothered to hide it?

“I’ve been through more battles than you can count. Seen every kind of hell. I’m not so tender that a little thing like this is gonna get me down. I mean, seriously. What are you all so bent out of shape over? If you ask me, it’s a little weird.”

“...Weird?” Haruhiro asked despite himself. “What’s so... weird about it? Look at the situation. Of course it’s normal for us to act this way.”

Ranta let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Even after losing your memories, you just never change, huh, Parupiro? It’s not like you’re the only one left...”

Not like he was the only one left?

What did Ranta mean by that? Haruhiro didn’t know. He could hardly imagine.

Haruhiro had heard the general outline of what caused the break between Ranta and him from Merry. But he didn’t understand it precisely. Not his feelings. Or Ranta’s. Ranta was supposed to have joined a group called Forgan centered around an orc named Jumbo. What happened after that? Why, or rather how, had he come back?

That was unclear, but what he did know was that Ranta must have been all alone for a time.

Even when Haruhiro awoke with no memories, he had been with his comrades. He hadn’t been alone, at least.

Obviously, he wasn’t now, either.

“What do you have to be depressed about?” Ranta grabbed Haruhiro’s chest, or rather his cloak. “Would you stop it with the pity party, you dolt? If you keep acting like that, then these losers are gonna stay like this forever. I’m saying, if you’re gonna be like this, it’d be better for me to drag the lot of you behind me. Got a problem with that?”

“A problem...”

“Well? Huh? I’m not sweet, and I’m not a nice guy, like you. But still. I won’t stop. I’ll keep on going. For as long as I live. What about you?”

Ranta was definitely not sweet, nor a nice guy.

You’re the leader, aren’t you? Then how about you do your damn job. If you can’t, you’re a failure. It’s time for you to quit. That had to be what Ranta was saying. It was a reasonable argument.

But Haruhiro was human, too. Though he was probably, no, definitely a mediocre one. There were times when it was hard for him. When he struggled, it was normal for him to want to break down. Couldn’t he do that? Did he have to pretend to be strong all the time?

That’s right, Ranta was pressing him. If you can’t do that, and can’t carry everyone on your back, you can step down.

Because I’ll do it for you.

“...You’re such a pain to deal with, man.”

“What? What’s this, all of a sudden?!”

Ranta was not a nice guy.

Was that really true?

He wasn’t sweet. But Ranta did think about his comrades in his own way.

“Were you always like this?”

“L-Like what?!”

“Did I just... always fail to understand you?”

“Huhhhhhh?!” Ranta pushed Haruhiro away. “Y-Y-You’re grossing me out, man! D-D-Did you lose your mind?! Well, you were crazy to begin with, but still...”

“I don’t need your concern,” Haruhiro said with a small, deliberate smile. When he thought about how Setora must feel, even that strained smile made his chest ache. Still, he couldn’t afford to wallow in defeat and sink into depression like this. Mediocre or not, Haruhiro was their leader.

I want to be a leader.

Haruhiro had enough reason to think that.

He wasn’t alone.

He never had been. Not before he lost his memories, and not since. Haruhiro hadn’t been isolated.

That was how he’d survived until today.

Because he had comrades.

If he could lend them even a little strength by fulfilling his role as leader, he wanted to.

“Ranta.”

“Wh-What?!”

“I don’t plan on letting you take my place. Not while I’m still alive, at least.”

“...Don’t add that last negative part!”

“I have to consider the possibility. If anything happens to me, take care of everyone. You seem pretty tenacious. I can’t see you kicking the bucket before me.”

“Damn straight! Someday, I plan to become immortal and conquer the world!”

“That’s some plan...” Kuzaku muttered with a spontaneous laugh, then hurriedly covered his mouth, glancing sideways at Setora.

Setora was looking at Haruhiro. She nodded slightly. I understand. I’ll be fine. That was what she was trying to tell him.

She probably wasn’t fine. How could she be? But Setora didn’t want him to worry about her. Regrets and laments weren’t going to help, but she still couldn’t resist the sadness and feelings of emptiness that were assailing her. That had to frustrate her more than anyone.

When Haruhiro nodded back, the corners of her lips turned up slightly.

The bell began to toll.

“It’s noon, huh?” Yume looked up into the sky.

Before it was taken by the Southern Expedition, the bells in Alterna had rung once every two hours, from six o’clock in the morning, to six at night. Now that Jin Mogis’s Expeditionary Force had become the Frontier Army and he had become the Commander, the bells had been brought back.

“It’s about time,” Merry said.

If things were going as planned, Jin Mogis and Mogado Gwagajin were meeting at the site in the Old City of Damuro now. There would be an alliance between the Frontier Army and the goblin race.

“What’s his next move?” Ranta was trying to make him think ahead. By doing so, he put the pressure on Haruhiro. It felt like he was being repeatedly kicked in the butt, which made it hard to relax. But maybe that was good. Compared to the situation they found themselves in, Haruhiro was far too ordinary. He needed to put in two, or even three, times as much effort as someone else would have if he wanted to get anywhere. He didn’t really want to, but with Ranta on his ass, he had no choice. That was probably for the best.

“Next will be... Mt. Grief, I guess?”

“In that case, we—” Ranta started to say, then shut his mouth.

Yume looked at the plaza in front of Tenboro Tower.

“It’s Orion,” she said.

“Huh?” Haruhiro followed Yume’s gaze. There was a line of people in white cloaks walking through the plaza. There had to be more than twenty of them. The man at the head of the group raised his hand to wave at them.

“...Shinohara-san.”

For a moment, Haruhiro was confused.

Shinohara had brought Orion to Tenboro Tower while Mogis was away. How was he supposed to interpret that? Shinohara was a central figure in the Volunteer Soldier Corps. Ranta and Yume had been with them until yesterday, too. Shinohara more or less knew the situation. The Volunteer Soldier Corps and the Frontier Army weren’t hostile to each other at the moment. They were cooperating. That meant Shinohara, naturally, was not an enemy. He should have been a trustworthy ally.

And yet, Haruhiro felt a vague sense of unease.

Shinohara and his people stopped in front of the main gate.

“Hayashi...” Merry murmured.

“Yeah,” one of the men of Orion replied in a low voice. He must have been Merry’s former comrade, Hayashi.

Shinohara looked at each of them.

“I can see you made your move, and failed.”

“We ran into an unexpected situation,” Ranta said sulkily, and turned to look away. “The bastard had a relic. The thing was ridiculous.”

When they heard the word ‘relic,’ the men and women of Orion started chattering.

“Did he?” Shinohara seemed calm. Did it sound too far-fetched? “A relic. He’s gained power, too, then. We’ll need to work with him for the time being, after all.”

“Um.”

When Haruhiro addressed him, there was a momentary smile.

Most likely, Shinohara started to smile, and then stopped himself.

“What is it?”

“...Uh, well. What are you doing here? Jin Mogis is meeting Mogado Gwagajin. We’re the only ones at Tenboro Tower. Why are there so many of you?”

“We thought we’d wait for his return, and celebrate his new title.” Shinohara did smile this time. “Obviously, our blessings are not unconditional, nor heartfelt. We know your situation. I don’t blame you for taking action. If I were in your position, I might have done the same. I do wish you had consulted me first, but it’s not as though I was nearby. Regardless...” Shinohara put his hands on Haruhiro’s shoulders. “I am glad that you are still alive, and I could meet you.”

“Well...” Haruhiro glanced over at Setora. She lowered her eyes, a pensive look on her face. “...So, you’re just paying your regards to Mogis? Couldn’t you do that on your own, Shinohara-san?”

“If the Frontier Army and the goblins join forces, that will pave the way for an assault on Mt. Grief. That will likely take the form of a combined attack by the Volunteer Soldier Corps and the Frontier Army.”

“You’re putting in the request?”

“I feel we need to do more to get close to the Frontier Army. I had hoped you would be the bridge, but I overestimated you.”

Shinohara released Haruhiro’s shoulders, then grabbed them again.

“I ended up causing you pain as a result. I regret that.”

“That’s, well...”

What was this slight chill he felt? Now that he thought about it, this might have been the first time he had gotten this close to Shinohara. Shinohara kept on vaguely smiling. Why? Was that really a smile?

Shinohara fixed his eyes on Haruhiro. He saw his reflection in their slightly pale irises.

But, for some reason, he didn’t feel seen.

“We of Orion will request that Commander Mogis admit us into the Frontier Army.”

Shinohara still had a smile on his face.

But it was only superficial, wasn’t it?

This man wasn’t smiling.

“The Commander won’t reject us, I’m sure. We’ll be working together from now on. It will be a pleasure, Haruhiro.”