Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 16 - Chapter 15

15. Breaking

Once the group returned to their room in Tenboro Tower, Haruhiro just sat down, too overwhelmed to think. Even when his comrades tried to talk to him, all he could do was nod along half-heartedly. He couldn’t be like this. He knew that, but what could he even do about it?

“Haru, here.” Merry brought him something.

“Yeah...” Haruhiro responded, and then, after a while, realized Merry was still holding whatever it was. He hadn’t accepted it from her, so of course she was.

“Thanks,” Haruhiro took the thing and put it on the ground. Is it late at night now? he wondered. This room had no windows.

“Haru,” someone called his name.

He looked and saw that Merry hadn’t moved from where she was before.

“Yeah. ...What’s up?”

“Get changed.”

“Ohh... Right.”

Apparently what Merry had brought him was clothes. There was something wrong with him if he didn’t notice that.

“I look pretty awful, don’t I? ...Yeah. I guess I should get changed, huh?”

Haruhiro stood up. He started stripping out of his torn and filthy clothes.

“...Haru?” Merry called his name again.

“Yeah. ...Oh!”

He had been about to get completely naked. He didn’t need to take off his underwear, too.

“H-Hurry up and get dressed...”

At Merry’s urging, Haruhiro put on a pair of pants and a shirt. There was still more to wear. Did he have to put all of it on? He wasn’t feeling up to it.

Haruhiro sat down, and hugged his knees. Merry sat next to him.

Kuzaku was wrapped in a blanket, apparently sleeping.

Setora was awake. She was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, maybe thinking about something. Kiichi was at her feet. It looked like he was asleep.

“Haru.”

How many times had it been now? That Merry had called his name.

It was getting annoying.

That wasn’t Merry’s fault, though, obviously.

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” Merry asked. How should he answer? There was no way he was okay. But it felt wrong to come out and say that. Whining wasn’t going to fix things. He didn’t want to lash out at her, either. This wasn’t her fault.

There was no way he could answer.

But he couldn’t just stay silent forever, either.

“...Yeah,” he mumbled with a nod, and Merry seemed to understand.

“I’m sorry, I...”

Her expression said, I messed up. She bit her lip, ducking her head apologetically. When he saw her like that, Haruhiro felt absolutely pitiful.

“No... I’m the one who ought to...”

Ought to what? Say sorry? Is apologizing going to help? Is that going to resolve the problem? Will it help us go forward?

Haruhiro slapped his own cheeks.

Merry looked surprised. Go figure. Of course she’d be surprised.

Honestly, Haruhiro was shocked, too. What was he doing, out of nowhere? But he couldn’t wake himself up otherwise. The thought had come to him on the spur of the moment. He wanted to wake up.

“I’m okay,” Haruhiro stated clearly one more time, and put on a smile. It had to look weird. More of a funny face than an actual smile. But Merry smiled back at him.

“Yeah.”

She apparently didn’t realize it herself, but Merry’s smile was pretty powerful. It had a certain gravity to it, you might say. Feeling his eyes being sucked in, Haruhiro quickly averted them.

“Uhh... Where did the clothes come from?”

“Neal brought them.”

“Huh? When?”

“It was a while ago.”

“...That’s not good. I didn’t notice at all.”

“It happens.”

Why was it that when Merry was kind to him he felt something squeeze tight in his chest?

“They’re from the general. According to Neal. You might not want to wear them, but it doesn’t look like there’s anything strange that’s been done to them, or anything like that.”

“Oh, yeah? ...Yeah. It’s fine. Now isn’t the time to go on about not wanting to owe him anything.”

“Could you put them on properly?”

Her tone was a little chiding, but it wasn’t that Merry was mad.

“...Right. I’ll get dressed.”

Haruhiro did as Merry told him to and fixed his clothes. They were all leather. The materials and production quality were good. The stitching was solid, too. It was somewhere between leather armor and leather clothes. There was a cloak included, too. A black leather cloak. It was hooded, and very light.

“It looks pretty good on you,” Merry said jokingly.

“Does it?”

Haruhiro tried moving around a little. The stains didn’t stand out, but someone must have worn these before. The leather had softened a lot, and there were wrinkles in it. That made how well it fit him kind of creepy.

“These don’t just look good, they seem practical, too.”

“Have you calmed down now?”

“A lot, yeah.”

Haruhiro sat next to Merry. He hunched his back, and breathed gently.

“...The general doesn’t trust us. And obviously we don’t trust him, either. But he’s still trying to get us on his side.”

“Yes. No matter what he has to do to accomplish it.”

“Shihoru is alive,” Haruhiro said, then closely observed his own emotions.

Shihoru was alive. Did he just want to think that? Or did he have some logical basis that led him to believe it?

“The general would have to be a real idiot to kill her. Because if he did, we’d never be swayed by him. It’s not impossible to keep on lying to us and telling us she’s alive. But there’s a risk we’d find out.”

“The general... will keep Shihoru alive, and use her. In order to keep us as his pawns.”

“But there could be an accident... It’s possible something might go wrong, and the hostage... Shihoru might be hurt or killed.”

“...That’s true. We can’t rule it out.”

“In that case, the general might take the risk and lie. Because there’s no way we’d accept it if he said he didn’t mean to kill her.”

“If he was going to have to lie... wouldn’t he make sure he could keep the lie up?”

“I agree. In that case, he’d eliminate all traces. Leave nothing behind. ...If he cremated the body, and scattered the ashes, there would be no way to prove whether she was dead or alive. Even if the general came out and told us she was gone, we’d have no way to know if he was telling the truth.”

“But if that is the case... We don’t have to think about it. It won’t do any good to consider it.” Looking forward, Merry said, “Shihoru is alive. We have to operate under that premise.”

“Yeah. I think that’s good.”

“Do you think the general will return Shihoru at some point? On his own, without prompting?”

“If... we were to swear loyalty to the general, he’d probably think it was all right to give her back. He’d believe that even if he returned her to us, we wouldn’t betray him. ...I dunno. It seems like a stretch. I can’t see it happening that way.”

“Yeah. If you think about it, it’s not likely that our relationship with the general would change that much.”

“...And he’s not an idiot, so he has to know that. Unless something happens that upends everything, we’re not ever going to be his loyal followers.”

“We only do what he says because he’s threatening us. The general has few pawns at his disposal, so he has to use us. What if... that changes?”

“Since we can’t be trusted, it’s... unlikely he’d keep using us. The general probably doesn’t genuinely believe he can win us over. Once he doesn’t need us, we’ll be cut loose. I think we’re just a stopgap.”

It was probably safe to assume that Neal and the Black Cloaks were one and the same as Jin Mogis. They shared some sort of special bond which transcended love, friendship, loyalty, responsibility, or anything like that.

This was only speculation, but the battles against the barbarian tribes in the south of the kingdom must have been incredibly harsh. The general had saved them, and they gave him everything in return. They had survived together. After an experience like that, perhaps they had a sense of solidarity that transcended reason.

Here in the frontier, the general would struggle to find subordinates who could act as his hands and feet. However, there had to be those who would work with him if their interests aligned.

“I don’t know why, but Hiyo... the master of the Forbidden Tower is siding with the general. I wonder what happened with Io and her group. We haven’t seen them since they went with Hiyo...”

“Io is a priest,” Merry said quietly. “One of the best in the Volunteer Soldier Corps. Her personality takes some adjusting to, but she’s highly capable.”

“I’m sure that, setting their weird names aside, Gomi and Tasukete are no slouches, either.”

“I agree.”

“Hiyo is... I wonder. She seems pressured. She’s acting awfully serious, and even exposing herself to danger. Maybe her position isn’t so stable, either.”

“If she doesn’t give everything she has to their operations, she’ll be displaced by Io’s party...?”

“I think she might feel threatened, maybe. This is just an example, but what if the master of the Forbidden Tower were to order Io, Gomi, and Tasukete to assist the general, too...”

“Then our relative usefulness would go down,” Setora, who had been quiet up until now, suddenly interjected with a cynical snort. “In other words, our position is not so stable, either.”

Kiichi roused himself and stretched, shaking his head. He sat and looked up at Setora.

Setora looked down at Kiichi. The moment she did, her expression relaxed.

“Ngh...” Kuzaku groaned. He rubbed his face and neck with his hand. Had he woken up? No, apparently not. Kuzaku went right back to snoring.

“This man...” Setora looked at Kuzaku with exasperation. The difference from when she’d been looking at Kiichi was incredible.

Should they shake Kuzaku awake, and take action immediately? Emotionally, that was what Haruhiro wanted to do. But was there anything they could do?

“Rescuing Shihoru.” Haruhiro jabbed his right index finger against the ground. “That’s our first priority.”

“In terms of our options... if negotiation isn’t possible, I think there are, broadly speaking, two things we can do.” Merry gently placed the tip of her own index finger on the ground, too. “The first is to find out where Shihoru is, and save her.”

“And the other?” Setora picked Kiichi up. Kiichi seemed to be enjoying it as she patted his neck and back.

“We do to them what they did to us. Take the general hostage, and demand Shihoru be released in exchange for him. I wouldn’t call either option peaceful, but we’re left with no other choices. They were the ones who started this.”

They couldn’t afford to fail. First, they had to choose which method had the higher certainty of success. If they were going to do it, they had to succeed. Haruhiro tapped his finger on the ground as he racked his brain.

“...Even if we manage to take the general hostage, there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to get Shihoru back. I can’t even get a read on if the man values his own life or not. Lately, we’re only called when he needs us for something, so there are also not that many chances to approach him.”

“The Expeditionary Force will be turning the hi’irogane over to the goblins in the near future.” Setora began walking around while still holding Kiichi. “That woman... Hiyo will be present for it, I’m sure. What about the general?”

“The general won’t show himself until the time comes for him to meet Mogado Gwagajin personally, don’t you think?” Merry suggested. “They’ll arrange a place in the Old City for the meeting. If we can find Shihoru before then, we’ll have a chance.”

Setora nodded.

“When the general and Mogado Gwagajin meet face to face, security here will be stretched thin. Not just in Tenboro Tower, but Alterna as a whole.”

Haruhiro was starting to see what they needed to do.

First, hunt for Shihoru. Search inside Tenboro Tower, as well as Alterna, while taking care not to arouse the general’s suspicion. He’d go to the thieves’ guild in West Town, and if Mentor Eliza was there, he could seek her assistance.

There was no need to outright discard the option of taking the general hostage. If he kept tabs on when it was possible to make contact with him, they would be able to act when the time came.

For now, though, Haruhiro decided to sleep until morning.

Exploring the New City had been really taxing. On top of that, despite accomplishing his task, he hadn’t gotten the result he wanted. He was disappointed, to say the least. Haruhiro wasn’t blessed with an especially strong psyche. He was ordinary. But it would also be weird for him to become totally depressed over his failure. Though Merry had healed his wounds with magic, that didn’t restore the blood he’d lost, so he was exhausted. If he didn’t recover, body and soul, he couldn’t save Shihoru.