Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 14.2 - Chapter 2.06

6. Unpredictable

My memories of the time I let three people die, and the things that happened after that, could be a bit fuzzy, but when I drank, I was careful not to drink to the point of inebriation, so I always knew what I had done, at least.

I was also well aware that I was not highly regarded.

I had gained a few nicknames, though no one would say them to my face.

One was Ill-tempered Merry.

Another was Scary Merry.

According to other people, I was a frightening woman.

First, there were my curt responses. I didn’t say more than I had to. I acknowledged that myself. Though, I didn’t feel I was being especially cold. I didn’t try to intimidate people, or insult them, but I did speak when necessary, of course. For example, if someone was acting like an idiot, it would be dangerous not to stop them. Most people didn’t say everything that they thought, and I could understand why they wouldn’t be able to. They might be timid, or not want to hurt their relationship with someone, or, well, there were any number of reasons. But if I thought I should stop someone, I never hesitated to. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. My safety came before that.

I was uncooperative. That was why I couldn’t find comrades. That was another common complaint, but let me just say, I didn’t need them lecturing me.

I had no intention of making comrades in the first place. I wished they wouldn’t assume that just because they wanted comrades desperately, because they felt insecure without them, because they couldn’t do anything without them, that I was the same. I felt better not having comrades, and I acted accordingly. That was different from being unable to get them.

You do what you like with your comrades, and I’ll do what I like by myself, so just leave me alone. That was about how I felt. It wasn’t that I lacked the ability to be cooperative, I simply was not attempting to cooperate. Because there was no need to.

I was getting work, in fact. Not constant work, but I had no trouble keeping myself fed. Nobody had any right to give me guff about my choices, but the fact was, I got it all the time.

The life of a volunteer soldier was not always easy, but maybe a lot of them had too much free time.

But that wasn’t all there was to it. I understood that.

The Free Union guys, and men like Dune. There were a number of men who had it out for me for no good reason. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there were occasionally women who became hostile to me just for being in the same party as them. They didn’t have a good reason, either.

Imagine a woman has a thing for her party’s leader, but he doesn’t return her feelings. I join their party as a temporary sub healer, or for some other reason. He’s being a little nice, and looking out for me. She doesn’t like that. I’m not acting any different from usual, but she says I was making passes at him, or something, and that was why he got the wrong idea. “Stay away from him,” she tells me, “Playing hard to get is part of your routine, isn’t it?”

That was something I had been told before. I could only respond that, for my part, I had no such intentions. But there were women out there who, even once you told them straight out, would still hold on to their assumptions.

Men and women like that went around spreading rumors about me, both true and false. I didn’t go around denying them, and before I knew it I had a reputation as Nasty Merry and Scary Merry.

They could do what they liked, and call me whatever they wanted, really. If I became infamous enough, no one would have any expectations for me anymore. Only people who were in so much trouble that they didn’t care what kind of person I was came to me with work. They tried to use me. That was fine. It was actually easier for me that way.

The only times I felt awkward were when I would run into Hayashi, Shinohara-san, or the other members of Orion at Sherry’s Tavern. I couldn’t very well ignore my former comrades who had treated me well, so I at least gave them a nod. Sometimes they tried to talk to me.

Shinohara-san, in particular, never failed to come over and talk. Never about anything much. “How’ve you been?” or “How are you doing?” Just a few words. Shinohara-san’s behavior was impeccable. He even cared about an ingrate like me. He was such a good guy it was almost creepy. He was the one person I couldn’t treat poorly.

Then there was this guy.

Kikkawa.

“Ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne. Neighbor, neighbor, Merry-san? Ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne. Huh? What am I doing, you ask? You’re not asking? Well, ask! Come on, ask. I mean, it’s fine if you don’t. I’m just gonna tell you anyway. So, listen. There’s, like, this challenge to see how many times you can say ‘ne’ in a row. Ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne nen nen ne. Whoa! I messed up! It’s pretty hard, if you actually try it, you know? For reals. If you think I’m lying, give it a go. Will you give it a shot? Yeah, no, not likely. I mean, I’m the first and all! Just came up with it! Maybe I won’t do it anymore, either. Oh, by the way, by the way, ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne, I just said that, and I’m already doing it again! That’s just how I roll! Bam...! Smash! Oh, right, right, right. I actually had business to discuss with you, for once!”

It was rare for him to have actual business with me. When I was at the counter in Sherry’s Tavern, waiting for work to come in, Kikkawa occasionally—no, frequently—approached me and started rambling nonsense. I ignored basically all of it. It wasn’t like he had any business with me. Yeah. If he had no business with me, what exactly was he playing at? The men who approached me with ulterior motives were easier to understand, and to deal with. When it came to this guy, he was like this with everyone, not just me. He went around babbling at just about anyone. To the best of my knowledge, there was no other volunteer soldier like him. Kikkawa defied comprehension.

“...What, you have business with me?” I responded despite myself.

“Yep, yep. About that.”

Kikkawa frowned, then rubbed the base of his nose with his index finger.

“So, listen. Hmm. Uh, hey? So, well, I guess this is about work, in a way? Not from me, though? I mean, I’m in the Tokkis and all, right? I’m with Tokimune and all his fabulous friends, so this isn’t from me, but I wanted to introduce you to some guys who aren’t exactly unrelated to me, if that makes sense? Basically, we all enlisted at the same time. So, like, how about partying with them? That’s the idea.”

“You want me to join a party with these people?”

“Well, yep, that’s it. Wahey!”

“As a sub healer?”

“Nah, that’s the thing, see? Stuff, like, happened, and they don’t have a healer. So, you’d be, like, the main healer, not a sub? Okay, not ‘like’ the main healer, you’d totally be the main healer.”

“If it’s a job, I’ll take it.”

“Oh, yeah? Wow! Nice! Okay, I’ll introduce you then! Erm, I’ll bring them along, okay? Like, here, and now. Is that gonna be okay?”

“Go ahead.”

“Well, just wait! I’m gonna go at light speed! Whoosh...!”

If they joined at the same time as Kikkawa, that made them my juniors. Well, not that it mattered. Work was work. No matter who it was with, I’d keep my emotions absolutely flat, and just do my own job. Not only did I have no great expectations, I had no expectations at all.

But the volunteer soldiers Kikkawa brought to me looked so obviously unreliable, I couldn’t help but think, Isn’t this going to be dangerous?

There were three men. Though, it might have been more fitting to call them boys. Not in terms of age, but behavior. If I was being kind, they seemed naive. If I wasn’t, they were children.

“So, so, this is Haruhiro, and this is Ranta, and Moguzo! All right, you three, say hi now! Greetings are the basis of good communication, you know!”

At Kikkawa’s urging, the sleepy-eyed volunteer soldier who looked like a thief said, “...Uh, hello,” and bowed his head. “I’m... Haruhiro. A... thief. There’s... not much else to say.”

“I-I’m Ranta!”

The small, curly-haired man looked lightly equipped for a warrior. He had a cheeky look on his face.

“I’m a dread knight... Got it? Heh. O-Oh, and... Oh, yeah, I’m hunting for a girlfriend. Yeah. Heheh!”

“I-I’m Moguzo. I’m a warrior.”

This man, who was built like a hairless bear, seemed harmless, despite his imposing physique. He came off as timid, and I had to question whether he would be of any use.

“...I-It’s nice to meet you,” he concluded.

“Welp!” Kikkawa shot me a wink that made imaginary sparkles go flying and, making a peace sign next to his face, he said, “I’m off! I’ll leave the rest to you young’uns! So long, so long, so long, Merry, beeeeam...!” and he left. What kind of beam was that?

The three guys just fidgeted and groaned, closing their eyes with looks of agony on their face, but they didn’t say anything to me. What is this? I thought. Didn’t they have business with me? Did I have to be the one to move this conversation forward? If I didn’t, it looked like this was never going to end.

“And?”

I turned to them, using the absolute minimum number of words, and finally Haruhiro opened his mouth.

“Um, well... I asked Kikkawa. No, he brought us here, so you know that already, huh? Yeah, you would. So, erm... we’re kind of short a priest. You could say we’re looking for a priest who’d be willing to join the party. So, um...”

Can’t you talk without pausing? I suppressed the urge to say that, and took a deep breath. I should have expected no less from Kikkawa. This was the first time he had brought me work, and look at it. He was an unpredictable man.

“Terms?”

Haruhiro said, “...Terms?” his eyes widening in surprise. They still looked sleepy, though.

“Er, the terms are... we go to Damuro, and—oh, terms... what do you mean?”

Ranta grumbled, “Moron,” and elbowed Haruhiro in the ribs. “It’s like how much you pay her per night. That sort of thing. You oughta know that much!”

I glared at him. Ranta went, “Eek...” and backed away.

“I-It was a joke... okay? No, not a joke, an example, though maybe not an appropriate one...”

“Yes. It was incredibly inappropriate.”

“...Yeah, it was, huh? Sorry? I didn’t mean anything by it... I’m just tense...”

“You? Tense?” Haruhiro ribbed him, and Ranta immediately shot back with a “Shove off!”

Moguzo was looking down at the floor, like his stomach hurt or something, and he was sweating.

I had to conclude that a daily rate was out of the question. These kids couldn’t pay it. Which meant all I would get was my share. How much did I stand to make with these children? I couldn’t hope for much. I had to assume it would be fairly low. If I didn’t come out in the red after deducting my daily rent and food costs, I’d be doing well.

I wasn’t picky. Still, this might have been the first offer I should have turned down.

But.

If I refused, what would these horribly unreliable children do? What would happen to them? Did I care? They had nothing to do with me.

But.

“If I get my share, that’s enough. Do we start tomorrow? If you have a meetup spot, tell me.”