Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 14.1 - Chapter SS1

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Scene #17: Man is a Thinking Horse

Bzzt, went the electrical current.

Isurugi Ranta and Tsurugi Monzo were trying to cross a fairly busy crosswalk. The crosswalk signal changed from red to green, and the pedestrians all began to move. Ranta tried to walk, too. When he did, an idea came to him. Oh, did it come to him.

“This is the time for... pushups, don’t you think?” he said.

“Huh...?” Monzo looked at Ranta with a silly face that said, What are you saying all of a sudden, Ranta-kun?

Didn’t he know what pushups were? Pushups! Though, rather than try to convince him, it was better to strike while the iron was hot. He need to do it right now. Time was a moving thing, and timing this perfect didn’t come around too often.

“Make way, make way!” Ranta pushed his way through the crowd, got ahead of them, and ran.

Reaching the middle of the crosswalk, he got down and put both hands on the ground. He stretched out both legs behind him. Ranta’s arms, chest, and legs formed a beautiful right triangle with the ground.

“Here I go! Hahhhh...!”

Ranta started doing some intense pushups. Not ordinary pushups. These weren’t your easygoing, lackadaisical pushups, not by any means. They were fast. He bent and straightened his arms devilishly fast. Everyone watching had to think, Whoa, that’s fast! He was doing super high speed pushups in—can you believe it?—the middle of the crosswalk.

“R-Ranta-kun?! What on earth are you doing?!” Monzo was babbling, but Ranta didn’t care. Hoo, hoo, hoo, with rhythmical breaths, he kept on doing pushups.

The pedestrians were gonna be shocked stupid. Gwahahahaha! There was a buzz from the crowd, a buzz, damn it! There were some of them snapping photos, and shooting videos, too. They were going to spread this? On social networks? Sweet! Go ahead! No, seriously, do it!

“Nwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...!” Ranta was drenched with sweat, laughing out loud as he continued his pushups.

This! Is! Bliss!

Right now, I’m standing out. Standing out like crazy.

Do you know what it’s like? This feeling?

“There’s a guy doing pushups at the crosswalk for some reason!” That news would spread on the social networks. Tomorrow, the kids around here would all be talking about it.

“Who is he? Who is he?” People would start searching for Crosswalk Pushup Man. He could decide whether to come out and say, I am he later, but whether he did or didn’t, Isurugi Ranta would be identified as the man responsible.

The big thing wasn’t that he was doing pushups at a crosswalk. No, it was that he gain a reputation as an anarchic, punk, and rock-and-roll sort of guy. That was the impotent bit. Er, no, no. Not that. It was the important bit!

“R-Ranta-kun! Th-The light! The light!”

Monzo was shouting something again. Looking over, Ranta saw that Monzo had finished crossing. The pedestrian crossing sign was flashing now. It’d turn red soon. The majority of the pedestrians had, like Monzo, finished crossing the crosswalk. Not many people were paying attention to Ranta.

No way.

What gives?

No—The refs haven’t called this game just yet.

“Here’s where things pick up! Oorarararararararararararararararararararah...!”

Ranta accelerated his pushups. The light would change soon. In short, that meant the cars would have the “go” sign, but Crosswalk Pushup Man would be in their way. Everyone would be shocked by the insanity of it, and give in. More! He was going to stand out more!

“Fwahahahahahahahahahahahhhh...!”

Suddenly, a voice came from behind him. “Hey.”

“Huh?!” Ranta stopped doing pushups despite himself, and turned to look.

There was a girl from his class standing there, looking down at him.

“What’re you doin’ there, Ranta?” she asked.

“Wh-What do you mean, ‘what’...?”

Wait, it was Tachibana Yume? He didn’t recall this woman being in a position to address him by his first name, without honorifics. They weren’t anywhere near that close. They were in a relationship that was on the far side of platonic. If he were to put a name on it, they were classmates.

“I-I’m, er, uh...”

“The light’s about to change, y’know? That’s dangerous.”

“I-It’s fine! Leave me alone!”

“Hmm...” Tachibana looked like she was thinking something, but she probably wasn’t thinking at all, because she suddenly went, “Oof,” and sat down on Ranta’s back.

“Huh?! What’re getting on top of me for?! What is this?! What?!”

“Full speed ahead!”

“No, no, no?! I’m not doing that, okay?! I’m not going anywhere, obviously!”

“Well, Yume’s gonna get smushed by a car, too, then. That’s no good.”

“Then get off!”

“Yume’s not gettin’ off.”

“Why not?!”

While they were doing this, the light changed and the cars started blaring their horns.