Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 14.1 - Chapter 2.4

4. Until I Close My Eyes

Instead of hurrying onward, I want to enjoy the scenery. Was that how I really felt? I didn’t know.

“...!”

Moguzo and I were pulling in three goblins when one of them slipped between us.

Were we in trouble? No.

Haruhiro, who was watching the goblins, immediately called out, “There’s one headed your way, Ranta!”

Ranta instantly replied, “Yeah!” and chased after the goblin that was going for Yume and Shihoru in the back line. “I already knew that!”

We were hunting goblins in the Old City of Damuro, day in and day out. Everyone had finally gotten used to it, and we were getting the hang of things. Ranta was the same as ever, though.

“Ha! Anger!” Ranta stepped into the attack completely, thrusting out with his longsword.

It was too far. He missed.

“Wha?! You’re no ordinary goblin, are you...?!”

“It’s clearly just a normal goblin, man!” Haruhiro called, with a glance over at me.

I gave him a slight nod as I parried a goblin’s blows with my short staff, and Haruhiro went to support Ranta.

Yume was next to Shihoru. If Ranta, Haruhiro, and Yume worked together, I was sure they could take down a single goblin.

“Fuh! Hah...!” Moguzo didn’t let the goblin’s nimble movements trick him. He was doing a good job of defending.

I could handle a single goblin by myself easily, too. Even if it was two or three, as long as I was just buying time, I could manage. But when it came to keeping an eye on the larger picture as I faced an enemy, that was pretty tough.

I was the priest, though, so I needed to provide treatment with light magic as soon as someone got hurt. On top of that, as the leader of the party, I needed to give the appropriate orders. I couldn’t just be focused on the enemy in front of me.

Should I tell Moguzo to swing wider with his bastard sword? I wondered.

Having learned the lesson from the beginning, in which he had swung relying on brute force, never hitting, and exhausting himself too much, Moguzo now used his sword in a rather compact way. That wasn’t bad, in and of itself, but at this rate, he was bound to make himself too small. He was a big guy, and a warrior too, so I wanted him to swing hard and intimidate the enemy, especially when there were several of them.

I’ll tell him later, I decided. The issue was how to say it, though. Moguzo was so delicate.

“Geez! What’re you two doin’?!” Yume called.

Yume must have gotten frustrated seeing Ranta and Haruhiro struggling to attack a goblin. She pulled her machete and sprang at it.

“Diagonal Cross!”

The goblin shrieked and fell back, trying to avoid it, but received a shallow cut from its shoulder to its chest.

Immediately afterwards, Haruhiro hit it with a Backstab. His timing was so good, you’d think they’d signaled each other to pull it off.

Haruhiro pulled out the dagger as he jumped back, and the goblin coughed blood and collapsed.

What was that? Did he hit a vital point? Was it coincidence? Or was he aiming to do it?

“Huh...?” From Haruhiro’s look of surprise, it had to be coincidence. “Did I hit it in a good spot? Maybe? Or a bad spot...?”

“Whoa?! I’ve gotta finish it!” Ranta leapt on the goblin, decapitating it with his longsword. “Nice! I got my vice!”

“Yume thinks this after every battle, but dread knights sure are savage, huh.”

“Don’t say ‘savage’! Use the more elegant term, ‘atrocious’! We dread knights serve the Dark God, Lord Skullhell. We are atrocious and inhumane, cold and ruthless knights with neither blood nor tears!”

So easygoing. Both Ranta and Yume. I had to warn them about it, of course. But these two, in a different way from Moguzo, also required a careful choice in how I went about it.

If I just told them, it wasn’t that they wouldn’t work to improve themselves, so much as that it was possible their very natures would make it so they didn’t.

Neither meant anything bad by it, but they were hard to handle. If you tried to handle them, it made things hard.

Rather than try to use them, I needed to let them bring out their personalities to their hearts’ content, while I tried to turn them in a positive direction. That was the best way to think of it.

And speaking of hard to handle...

“Ohm, rel, ect...” Shihoru drew elemental sigils with her staff, beginning to chant a spell. “Vel, darsh...!”

It was Shadow Beat. A shadow elemental that looked like a mass of black seaweed flew out with a unique sound that went, Vwong!

Yeah. It was coming this way. But, of course, I wasn’t the target.

It smacked into the goblin I was facing, right in the back of the head. That goblin let out a weird cry of, “Gagah!” and its entire body convulsed.

Shihoru had given me the perfect opening. I struck the goblin in the side of its face, kicking it to the ground. I could have struck the finishing blow, too, but I left that to Ranta.

“Take this! Hatred...! Dammit! You’re just a stupid goblin! Take this! And this! And this...!”

I smiled at Shihoru.

She looked down, flustered, pulling down the brim of her hat to cover her face. She shook her head as if to say, No, it was nothing. I didn’t do anything.

Well, darn.

Did Shihoru have potential as a mage? It was outside my area of expertise, so I couldn’t say. But I figured she probably wasn’t completely hopeless. Even in her current state, she was an asset, and she’d only get better.

There was even a way to improve Shihoru’s power by leaps and bounds, if I chose to.

It wasn’t impossible. I could probably pull it off. But I wasn’t all that eager to.

It seemed Shihoru might have a thing for me. More like, well, I was almost certain she did. I mean, look at the way she acted. It was so obvious, you could call it blatant.

If she weren’t a comrade in the party, it’d be no big deal. I could ignore her, or go out with her if I felt like it.

I didn’t know my past, but I had the feeling I wasn’t the type to make a big fuss over crushes and all that. Romance was just a way of playing around. It might help kill time, but getting serious about it just seemed ridiculous.

For instance, I could get Shihoru’s attention, and inspire her. Heck, if I were to pretend to be her boyfriend, I was sure I could make her do anything.

But Shihoru was my comrade. I didn’t want to deceive her, or hurt her. Even more than that, I couldn’t do anything to harm the bonds of trust and human relationships in the party.

That said, if I rejected her, even subtly, Shihoru would get depressed. That would be troublesome in its own way, too.

“Thanks...!” While I was mulling over things, Moguzo ended the fight with a Rage Blow. Because he shouted, “Thanks!” whenever he used it, we also called it the Thanks Slash. Moguzo’s sword entered through the goblin’s shoulder and made it halfway through its chest.

What power!

With a grunt, he swung his sword, and the goblin was sent sailing away, like it was almost a joke.

“Yahoo!” Ranta rushed over to the near-dead goblin, whaling on it with his longsword. “Gwahaha! That’s three vices in a row! That makes eleven vices total! My demon’s powered up! Whenever it feels like it, it’ll whisper in the enemy’s ear to distract it! That’s awesome!”

“Whenever it feels like it...?” Haruhiro said with a sigh. “Your demon sure is useless, huh.”

“Hey! I won’t let that pass, Haruhiro! Don’t you go dissing Zodiac-kun, or I’ll curse you!”

“I mean, you can only call it out at night—”

Haruhiro gave Ranta too much attention. If you just ignored whatever Ranta said, he’d eventually get lonely and give in, so it was best to leave him alone.

Haruhiro was probably doing it because he was a nice guy, unlike me. I didn’t mind that, though. About Haruhiro.

We’d left Alterna at seven o’clock in the morning, and arrived at the Old City of Damuro around eight. It had to be after noon now. We decided to take a break, and have lunch while we were at it.

“Oh, gotta pray.” Yume shaved off a thin slice of the dried meat with her knife, leaving it on the ground as she put her hands together and closed her eyes. “White God Elhit-chan, thank you for everythin’. Yume’ll share some of her food with you, so keep lookin’ out for her, okay?”

“So, about what you’re doing there,” Haruhiro said, tearing off a piece of bread. “That’s a ritual that’s laid out in the rules of the hunters’ guild, isn’t it? You have to offer a little of your food to your god, right?”

“Sure do. The White God Elhit-chan is this reeeeally big wolf, y’see. And there’s this reeeeally big Black God called Rigel who’s a wolf, too. Elhit and Rigel are on super-bad terms with each other. Because Elhit-chan watches over us hunters, we can get through our daily huntin’ without any accidents.”

“So, basically, it’s an act of worship. Hunters worship the White God Elhit. But you’re calling your god Elhit-chan and offering to share some of your food. Is that okay?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Yume made a funny face. “Elhit-chan is forgiving, so Yume doesn’t think Elhit-chan’d get mad at her over something like that, y’know. Actually, Elhit-chan’s never gotten mad at Yume.”

“...Your feelings,” Shihoru said, while carefully holding something that looked like a doughnut. “I think your feelings are what gets through to your god. Though, that’s just what I think...”

I brought my lips to my leather waterskin, taking a sip of water. What a good girl. But nothing good was likely to come of her falling for a guy like me.

“Yeah,” I answered. “The words you say are important, but the feeling you put into saying them is even more important. The prayers we priests use in our light magic won’t work if we say the words wrong, but I don’t think your prayers to Elhit are the same.”

“Yume puts a lot, a loooot, of feelin’ into it.” Yume spread her arms wide in an exaggerated way. “Yume goes to sleep at night, yeah? Well, when she does, Elhit-chan shows up in her dreams pretty often. Yume asked, ‘Can I ride on your back, Elhit-chan?’ and when she did, Elhit-chan said, ‘Sure,’ y’see. Yume went for a ride on Elhit-chan and we ran around like whoosh. Elhit-chan is crazy-fast. Yume said, ‘This is amazing.’”

“...This story,” Ranta chewed his dried meat loudly while putting on a sour face. “It’s got an actual point at the end, right? I’ve held my tongue and listened for a long time, so if you don’t have a good point, I’m gonna snap. Like, seriously.”

“A point?” Yume blinked. “No. There isn’t one.”

“Trip!” Ranta shouted and did a face fault. “Are you stupid?! Don’t tell long stories with no point! What’ll you do if I drown to death, unable to escape from the spiral of broken expectations?!”

“Go ahead...” Shihoru said in disgust. “I wish you’d drown to death...”

“Ah!” Ranta immediately pointed at Shihoru. “Ah! Ahhhh! I heard that! I heard you, Shihoru! Just now, you just told me to go die, didn’t you, huh?!”

“...I only said that I wished you’d drown.”

“You’re even making requests about the cause of death! You’re horrible! That’s the lowest thing you can do as a person! You’re the most rotten, horrible girl in all of history, that’s what you are!”

It had started again. The usual banter.

If I was being honest, I couldn’t bring myself to like this boisterous atmosphere. It wasn’t unpleasant, but I felt like I was out of place in it, and it felt awkward to be here.

Still, I didn’t get sullen or just watch with cold eyes. I tried to involve myself somehow. Was it because it was awkward? Was it because I was being forced to go along with it? It was true, I was trying to go along with it. I couldn’t say I wasn’t straining myself at all.

But, assuming I had some innate personality I didn’t show around others, did I really have to reveal it to anyone? Was it wrong to hide it?

Setting Ranta aside for the moment, Haruhiro, Yume, Shihoru, and Moguzo were probably kinder than most people out there. They were good folks. Even Ranta, as much of a selfish, rowdy guy as he was, wasn’t evil.

If I was being harsh, my comrades were naive. I couldn’t imagine us staying like this. Everyone was going to have to change. Whether they liked it or not, it had to happen.

But it was nice, right?

In little moments like these, the way we could relax and joke around together was nice. It was good to have this kind of thing. No matter what happened, I didn’t think we should lose this.

The time we were spending now was probably more precious than any of us thought.

Like I’d thought, I really couldn’t work with a guy like Renji. Maybe the two of us were similar in some way, but what we wanted, what we were aiming for, was different.

I was starting to become more certain. This was right. I hadn’t made a mistake.

“We’ve become a good party,” I said quietly to myself, despite not meaning to.

Haruhiro looked at me, blinking. “Huh?”

“We can take on up to three goblins at a time now,” I said with a smile. No one who saw it would have been able to tell the difference, but this wasn’t my usual artificial smile. “No one even got hurt, so I think it’s safe to assume we could handle more. Yume’s much better with a machete than she is with a bow. She has a lot of strength. If we think about our methods some more, we might be able to handle four.”

“Oh, about that...” Haruhiro took on a thoughtful expression.

Yeah. Haruhiro was actually thinking like he should. He was a man who could think, and make decisions.

“Yeah, four sounds doable,” he agreed.

“I knew we’d be able to rely on Moguzo,” I said. “After all, he’s got such a big body. Just by being there, he intimidates the enemy. And with his precise swordsmanship, he can get what needs doing done.”

“Ah, I’ve been thinking that, too,” Haruhiro said. “Moguzo’s talented.”

“...R-Really? You think?” Moguzo looked down, bashfully. “I don’t know why, b-but, I like doing detailed work.”

“It doesn’t suit you!” Ranta yelled angrily.

“Y-Yeah, I think so, too...”

“Hey, it’s a good thing,” Haruhiro said, glaring at Ranta. “Moguzo isn’t sloppy, unlike a certain someone.”

“Oh? What, you saying that to me? Me, the guy they call the Gale-speed Machine of Precision?”

“Nobody’s ever called you that, Ranta.” Yume’s eyes were cold.

If they ganged up on him that bad, even Ranta would get dispirited.

“Ranta’s amazing, too.” I chose my words carefully, so that it wouldn’t be obviously empty praise. “Especially the way he’s always ready to attack. He’s not afraid of failure, so I think he’s improved at using his skills faster than any of us. The rest of us, myself included, are more cautious, you could say. Without Ranta around, we might not be willing to take that next step forward.”

“Yeah, I guess?” Ranta was obviously happy. You could see it in the way his nostrils flared. “Well, you know what they call me. The Whirlwind Machine of Forward Momentum, yeah?”

“What happened to the Gale-speed Machine of Precision?” Haruhiro shot back with exasperation.

“As for Shihoru...” For a second, I hesitated.

What should I do? What was it I ought to do here? For now, I couldn’t see what the best answer was.

But there was no need to rush, right? I wasn’t trying to race to the top like Renji. I could shelve this one for now. Someday, I might find a good way to handle it.

“...Shihoru is always aware of her surroundings. Darsh Magic has a lot of spells that can confuse or bind the target, if I recall. That lets her help us when needed. You wanted to learn Darsh Magic so you could help us, didn’t you, Shihoru?”

Shihoru stared blankly for a second, her mouth hanging open as she listened to me, but then nodded without a word. Hanging her head, she tugged her hat down to cover her face.

I did think she was cute. But there was a pretty wide gap between my feelings and the feelings Shihoru actually wanted me to have for her.

Even so, no one could say that the gap would never be filled. I didn’t know the future.

I looked at Yume. “I think Yume may well be the bravest of us all. She isn’t afraid of anything. As the healer, I wish she’d be more careful, but I’m also glad that Yume will be there to help if anything happens.”

“Yume is?” Yume’s face melted into a grin. I was sure that was an expression only Yume could make. “You sure? Is Yume really that brave? Yume doesn’t think she’s ever been told that before. Though, maybe she doesn’t think many things are scary. Yume hopes you’ll give her a pass for being a hunter who can’t use a bow.”

“Everyone has weaknesses and things they can’t do,” I said. “When you’re alone, those failings can be fatal, but we’re a party. We can make up for each other’s shortcomings.”

“Oh, yeah.” Yume beamed. “That’s right. Yume may cause trouble for all of you goin’ forward, but she’ll do her breastest.”

Ranta snorted derisively. “You mean ‘bestest,’ like ‘best,’ not ‘breastest.’ Breastest sounds like, you know, you’d need some special kind of breasts.”

“Breastest...” Yume touched her chest with both hands. “Yume wonders what kinda breasts are the breastest breasts. How distantly related are they to Yume’s tiny breasts?”

“...Maybe they’re in the same family?” Haruhiro asked.

Yume’s expression was totally serious. “Do you think they’re in the same family, Haru-kun?”

“I-I dunno. I wonder.”

“Yume wonders, too. The breastest breasts. It does sound a little cute, you know.”

“The br—” Moguzo started to say, and everyone looked at him. He started to sweat profusely, waving his hands and shaking his head. “I-I-I-I-It was nothing. R-R-Really, nothing.”

“...Now I’m curious.” With Shihoru staring at him, Moguzo cast his eyes downward.

In the end, he sounded like he was going to cry as he said, “S-Sorry,” so no one pushed him about it any further.

Some time later, I realized I hadn’t said anything to Haruhiro. Well, it could wait. I wanted to talk with Haruhiro one-on-one. If we did that, we could talk more deeply.

Haruhiro, as a thief, was playing a middle role between the front line and the back line. He had to look at the whole picture, responding to the situation in various ways. He was our scout, too, so he had the second-highest flexibility within the party after me. In a way, he was our second commander. Haruhiro had slotted into that position quite well.

I couldn’t do everything myself, so someone was going to have to fill in for me on some things. As for who that would be, for the moment, Haruhiro was the only choice.

Well, that was just what I wanted to have happen in time. It’d be bad to put pressure on him in a weird way, so there was no need to hurry.

We were still laying the groundwork. Once a solid foundation was laid, we’d build on top of it. I couldn’t let the shadow of Renji, who was going on ahead of us, confuse me.

In the afternoon, Haruhiro was, unusually, a little excited when he came back from scouting.

“It’s crazy,” he said. “There are only two, but one of them’s huge. It might be as big as I am.”

“A hobgoblin.” My eyes widened a little. “They’re a subrace of goblins, with a larger build than the ordinary ones. They’re stupid brutes that the goblins use like slaves, so maybe that’s what that one is.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ranta licked his lips. “If it’s got a slave, that could be a high-ranking gob, don’t you think? If it is, it’s gotta have some good loot, for sure.”

Haruhiro stroked his chin. “...It did have plated metal armor on. The hobgoblin was wearing chain mail, too. That, and a helmet. It might have been large enough for one of us humans to wear.”

“Ooh...” Moguzo groaned.

“Two of them, huh.” I lowered my eyes as I thought about it.

A goblin in plated metal armor, and a hobgoblin in chain mail. I couldn’t say anything for sure until I saw them myself, but it felt doable.

“Hmm.” Yume looked up diagonally. “Yume thinks we can handle two of them, though.”

“If I...” Shihoru grasped her staff tight. “...was to target one first, and manage to hit it with a spell, it would be easier to handle things after that... I think.”

“Yume’ll try whooshing some arrows at it, too. Even if she misses, the gobbies’ll get scared, so then you can go right at ’em.”

I looked around to each of my comrades. It looked like everyone was raring to go. Except Haruhiro.

Haruhiro had looked excited, too, when he’d come back from scouting, but now he was taking a step back.

This was it. This was the part of Haruhiro I held in high regard. Perhaps I sympathized with him. In time, Haruhiro and I would be able to talk with each other frankly. I had that sort of feeling.

When Haruhiro said, “Guess we’re doing this,” that settled it for me.

I nodded. “Okay, let’s do it.”

Once we had a plan, we got into a circle, and everyone put their hands in.

We couldn’t shout out loud in the middle of enemy territory, so when I said “Fighto,” in a quiet voice, everyone raised their hands and gave a restrained response.

“Ippatsu!”

With that little ritual of ours finished, Haruhiro cocked his head to the side.

“...What is fighto ippatsu, I wonder?”

“...I dunno.” Shihoru tilted her head to the side, puzzled. “But doing it gives me this vague feeling of nostalgia.”

“Yume gets that feelin’, too. But she doesn’t know what it is. Weird, huh.”

Ever since we started coming to Damuro, we had taken to forming a circle before taking on a slightly tough looking enemy. It was weird to just stay quiet, so I just sort of said, “Fighto.” When I did, my comrades replied, “Ippatsu!”

Ever since the first time, that had become our practice. It felt like I knew it from somewhere, but it wasn’t clear where. Something about it felt off to me.

That happened a lot.

Would we ever be able to remember?

Haruhiro brought Yume and Shihoru with him, and they approached the two-story building where the goblin and hobgoblin were.

Moguzo, Ranta, and I were following them, too, about six or seven meters behind.

First, we’d close in as much as possible without getting noticed. Up to there, huh?

Haruhiro and the others hid behind a wall about fifteen meters from the two-story building. We were positioned about three meters to their rear.

There it was. On the second floor, which was almost like a balcony after having nearly completely collapsed, there was a goblin wearing plated armor.

The armored gob.

The hobgoblin was sitting on the first floor.

The armored gob and the hobgob. There really were just two of them.

Shihoru brought a hand to her chest, taking a deep breath. Yume nocked an arrow.

The armored gob and the hobgob, they hadn’t noticed us yet.

Shihoru and Yume stuck just their upper bodies out from behind the wall.

Shihoru began chanting a spell. “Ohm, rel, ect, vel, darsh...!”

Vwong. It was Shadow Beat.

At almost the exact moment the shadow elemental launched from the tip of Shihoru’s staff, Yume loosed her arrow. The arrow she fired at the armored gob went completely astray, but the shadow elemental hit the hobgob in the arm.

While the hobgob sputtered and convulsed, the armored gob looked our way.

Haruhiro shouted, “We’ve been spotted!”

“We’re going in!” I gave the order, immediately springing out.

The hobgob put on the helmet that had been at its feet, rising and picking up its spiked club, but it was unsteady. The armored gob picked up something, too. That was—a crossbow, huh? We’d never encountered a goblin with one of those before.

I tried to call out a warning. I didn’t make it in time. The armored gob quickly took aim and pulled the trigger.

It was fast. The bolt flew much faster than an arrow from a normal bow.

“Augh...!” Haruhiro got hit by the bolt, and crouched down.

Shihoru let out a little scream, while Yume put an arm around Haruhiro’s back.

“Haru-kun...?!” Yume cried.

Haruhiro was gasping. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. Not good.

“Haruhiro!” I rushed over to him, tearing out the bolt with one pull. He was bleeding badly.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. But don’t panic, I told myself.

I made the sign of the hexagram, forming an image of light in my mind, and focused that light into every nerve as I chanted a prayer.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you... Cure.”

The light unleashed from my palms sealed his wounds.

Faster. Faster. No, calm down. Rushing things won’t increase the speed he heals at. It’s almost done. Just a little more—

“M-Manato...!” Ranta shouted. “Hurry up! W-We can’t keep this up...!”

“You’re fine now, right?!” I took off running before Haruhiro could nod.

Moguzo traded blows with the hobgob, while Ranta and Yume did the same with the armored gob.

Compared to Moguzo, Ranta looked like he was in more trouble. I’d need Moguzo to do his best with the hobgob, and have Shihoru and Haruhiro support him. Looking at them, they were already doing so without orders.

For now, I needed to switch with Ranta, and—I tried to do it, but the armored gob must have seen it coming. It closed the gap between it and Ranta, while feinting violently to the left and right.

Ranta was forced onto the defensive. I wasn’t going to be able to get between them like that.

As for Yume, she was running around in confusion.

“O-Oh, crap! Crap! Damn it! Screw you...!” Ranta got pushed back and back, and, probably as a last-ditch effort, he jumped backwards to get away from the armored gob.

It was unexpected to me, but the armored gob managed to follow Ranta just fine. It pushed in, then took a single swipe with its sword.

Fresh blood splattered.

His neck.

The armored gob’s sword had cut Ranta’s neck open.

It looked like it had taken out a vein.

“Yume! Do something...!” I shouted, forcefully striking the armored gob. Once I forced it to back off, I’d have to let Yume handle it. Ranta had sunk weakly to the ground.

I need to treat him. No, but maybe I can’t.

“Mrrow! Fwah...!” Yume was already on the ropes.

While I checked Ranta’s wounds, I shouted, “Haruhiro, get over here! Ranta’s down...!”

“What?! H-His neck...?!” Haruhiro must have been surprised by how sudden it was, but he responded, which really helped. “Hey, gob, over here!”

“It hurts...” Ranta groaned. “M-Manato, I, I, I...”

“You’re going to be fine, Ranta! I’ll fix you up in no time!” I took a breath, then made the sign of the hexagram. “O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you... Cure!”

“Nngh... Fuhhh, ahhh, kuh... Ngah, damn it! Ah...! Okay...!”

“Brush Clearer...!” Yume was attacking the armored gob. No, that noise. Did it deflect her attack?

“Not happening...!” It looked like Haruhiro had stepped in to help, though. “Yowch...!”

“Ranta!” I slapped Ranta on the back.

“Yeah!” Ranta psyched himself up, charging at the armored gob. “Anger...!”

The armored gob crouched to get out of the way of Ranta’s Anger. It counterattacked immediately.

Now that he was forced on the defensive, Ranta’s moves were clearly sluggish. Even if the wound had closed, he hadn’t gotten the blood that was shed back, so he had to be struggling.

“Dammit! This is bull! You’re just a goddamn gob...!” Ranta screamed.

Still, I needed him to hang in there.

“Haruhiro!” I ran over to him.

Haruhiro had a deep slash in his right arm. That meant he couldn’t use his dominant hand. If I didn’t heal it, he couldn’t fight.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you... Cure.”

What was this feeling of exhaustion? It felt like the life was being sucked out of me. But I couldn’t let it mess me up.

Focus. I have to focus. It’s all in my head. I’m not exhausted at all.

“...Okay,” I touched Haruhiro’s right arm. It had healed properly. It was fine.

Moguzo was keeping the hobgob busy, and despite the agony he was in, Ranta was just barely hanging in there. Shihoru must have overused her magic. She looked exhausted.

But I was still good to go, too.

We could still do this. I was managing to look at the whole picture. Honestly, I could see it all too well. It looked like Yume had a cut on her upper arm.

“Yume, get over here! I’ll cure you!” I called.

“Yume is fine! She can keep fightin’!”

“Just get over here! Haruhiro, trade places with Yume!”

“...On it!” Haruhiro left, and Yume came to take his place.

You look uneasy, Yume. It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.

I smiled at Yume, and set to work curing her.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you... Cure...!”

Have I overused my magic? The thought briefly crossed my mind. No, that’s not true. I’ll heal her. I have to focus, and heal her wounds. It’s fine. Look. I’m done.

—I felt dizzy.

I’m imagining it.

I shook my head, then spoke to Yume. “Let’s go!”

I see it. I’m seeing it. Moguzo. He’s having a rough time alone. I bet he can’t finish it. Ranta and Haruhiro, too. They’re having a hard time beating the armored gob.

“Haruhiro, go help Moguzo!” I called.

Haruhiro nodded.

Yeah. That was good. For the armored gob, I’d stand in front, and have Ranta and Yume attack.

I had to do it. With a short staff?

Damn. Screw this thing. If only I had a sword.

Priests weren’t allowed to use bladed weapons in combat. What a nuisance. But I was going to do this.

“Ngahhhhhh!” the hobgoblin roared.

“Oof!” cried Moguzo.

“Ngah! Ngah! Ngah!”

What? What happened? It was the hobgob. The hobgob was whaling on Moguzo.

“Ngah! Ngah! Ngah! Ngah! Ngahhhh...!!”

“Ungh...!” Moguzo was finally forced to take a knee. He was bleeding from the head.

That was when Haruhiro clung onto the hobgob’s back. It flailed about, trying to throw him off, but Haruhiro held on.

“Whoa! Ohh! Whoaaaaaaa...?!”

“You’re doing fine, Haruhiro! Keep buying time like that...!” I called.

I headed for Moguzo.

Yeah. I have to treat him. With light magic. Moguzo. He’s bleeding bad. He got clobbered by that spiked club.

Moguzo apologized, saying, “I’m sorry,” or something.

What are you saying? I’m the priest.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you... Cure.”

It’s kind of slow, isn’t it? The rate of healing. The light’s weak. Focus. I’ve gotta focus. I’ve gotta focus more, and—

As I tried to, I looked, or I saw, rather.

Haruhiro took an elbow to the gut from the hobgob, sweeping him away.

“Ah...!”

That wasn’t all. The hobgob kicked Haruhiro. Kicked him and sent him rolling.

I heard it. Haruhiro crying for help. Even before that, I was already moving.

Moguzo, sorry. Your wounds aren’t even fully closed yet. But this takes priority.

“Smash...!” I screamed.

Here I was, shouting my skill names, almost like I was Ranta. I swung my short staff, smacking the hobgob in the back of the head.

The hobgob was wearing a helmet. It still seemed to affect it somewhat, though.

Making use of centrifugal force, I hit it with the part of my staff closest to my hands. Maybe it helped. But this wasn’t over yet.

“Ngh! Hah! Yah!” I never stopped, constantly spinning my short staff around. I struck, and struck, and struck. I beat on it like crazy.

“Haruhiro, get up!” I called.

Finally, I knew what we ought to do. Why had I never figured it out before? Because the blood had rushed to my head? I was under too much pressure, and didn’t have the composure to think? I could make excuses later. For now, I just had to do what needed to be done.

“Run!” I yelled. “Everyone, run away...!”

Haruhiro jumped up, started running, and came to a sudden stop. “M-Manato, what about you...?!”

“I’m coming, too! Obviously! Now, hurry up and go!”

I continued attacking the hobgob as I slowly backed away.

An opening. I couldn’t rush; I had to look for an opening.

“Thanks!” Moguzo unleashed a Rage Blow at the armored gob. While it didn’t hit, it did make it back off.

Nice. Well done, Moguzo.

Using the opening that created, Moguzo did an about-face, and Ranta and Yume followed. Shihoru was pumping her legs diligently, too.

With a battle cry, the armored gob slashed Moguzo in the back, but it was a shallow hit that couldn’t break through his chain mail.

Haruhiro was running with his face still turned backwards. “Manato, that’s enough! Everyone’s gotten away!”

“I know!”

What I knew was it wouldn’t be that easy.

I jumped back, luring the hobgob in. The hobgob fell right for it. When he moved forward, I thrust twice.

The hobgob groaned, and his head was knocked back.

Now.

I turned around. The armored gob swung at me. I anticipated that, so I easily avoided it.

Now, run. Run. Run away. And don’t look back.

“Urgh!”

Something slammed into my back.

I nearly tripped over my own feet, but I didn’t turn back.

Haruhiro let out what sounded like a scream. “Manato...?!”

“I’m fine!”

Whatever the case, we have to get away from here first. That’s the priority. Right? Yeah, it is. I know that. I know. We have to run. Run. Run away.

I had to look back, and check.

Are the armored gob and hobgob chasing us? I wonder. Can we stop now? Do we have to keep running? I should just look. If I look, I’ll know. But I have to move forward. I’ll move forward. Move. I have to go as far as I can.

Still, though, everyone’s pretty fast.

Where is this? How far have we come?

I don’t really know. That’s weird. It’s weird. What happened? I. Ahh—

Hold on.

I pitched forward, falling to the ground.

I’ve got to get up. Not good. Yeah. I’ll get up. I don’t have the strength. In my body. Why?

“...O-Ow...”

It hurts. What hurts? My back. Oh. There’s something in my back.

I struggled to roll onto my side.

What’s going on? This is bad, isn’t it? Is it bad? I dunno.

“...I think... W-We’re fine... now...”

“Manato...!” Haruhiro was here. Right next to me. Kneeling. “Manato, y-your wound, m-magic! That’s right, use magic to cure it...”

“...Oh, yeah.” I tried to make the sign of the hexagram. Huh? My hand. It’s no good. My strength. Focus. How? I can’t, not like this.

“...I-I c-can’t... do it... I-I can’t... use magic...!”

“D-Don’t talk!” I heard Ranta’s voice. “D-Don’t you talk! Just make yourself comfortable, comfortable... Wait, how are you supposed to do that?!”

Shihoru approached. Shihoru reached out for my back. She touched... something. It hurt, or rather, it felt—heavy. Oppressively heavy.

But the weight didn’t stop there; it seemed to continue through me. I had a bad feeling about this.

Repeatedly, I blinked.

Moguzo’s here. He’s so big. Moguzo. Well, of course. He’s not going to suddenly get smaller.

“Wh-Wh-Wh...” Yume was so shaken, I felt sorry for her. “Wh-Wh-Wh...” Yume messed up her hair.

“What...?” Haruhiro crouched down, bringing his face close to me. “Y-You’re gonna be okay, all right, Manato? You’re gonna be okay, all right? Just, just hang in there. Hang in there, Manato, all right?”

Finally, the seriousness of the situation began to dawn on me.

I’m not gonna be okay. I see. That’s how it is. It’s no good.

—You’re kidding me, right? Cut it out! No! It wasn’t supposed to be like this! I have more to do! Not yet!

Yeah. Tomorrow, I’ll do more. I thought there’d be more tomorrows. I took it as a given. A given that there was a future. For me, for us, there had to be. I never doubted. What is this? There’s supposed to be more, so this, it’s not fair. I have so much I want to do. Where did I go wrong? What wasn’t good? Was I reckless? I thought we could handle it. They were strong. Who knew they’d be so strong? Was I weak? Or was I rushing things, despite being convinced I wasn’t?

I want a do-over. Make it so this never happened. Please. Let me do it over. I’m begging you. I won’t do it again. I won’t mess up again. Me, and everyone will...

“In the end, you don’t trust anyone, do you?” Ryoi said to me.

I smiled, like I always did. “Yeah, what of it?”

“How can you smile like that?! At a time like this?!” Mitsuka was crying.

I was smiling. “How, you ask? Because I’m fine, aren’t I?”

“Don’t think you’ll get special treatment just ’cause you’re a kid,” xxx said threateningly as she throttled me.

Special? I had never thought that at all.

“I never should have given birth to you,” xxx said with a hollow look on her face.

Ryoi? Mitsuka? xxx? xxx...? Who...?

I don’t get it, but, ohhhh... I see. I wanted to be with someone.

I just wanted to walk with someone. Not alone; with someone else.

I wanted to walk together with everyone.

I wanted more connections.

To spend time on them, little by little, at a relaxed pace. It was the only way. Because I couldn’t close the gap quickly.

If I did it this way, I thought I could. For sure. I thought I could have a do-over.

It’s no good anymore. It’s over. I can’t believe this.

It’s going to end here, like this, so easily. If this were a lie, a dream, how wonderful that would be.

But I’m sure it’s not. This is reality.

It’ll be over soon.

“Haru...hiro,” I whispered.

“Wh-What? What is it? Manato, what is it?”

I’m sorry. Haruhiro. Sorry. There was more I wanted to tell you. Things that I wanted to say, things I wanted to talk about, so many of them. I was sure you and I could become friends. I think, someday, I could have told you, all of it, properly.

“Huh? What? S-Sorry? Why? For what?” he asked.

Damn. Oh, why? Why can’t I speak? My voice, it won’t form proper words. I... Right, that’s right, Haruhiro, I’m counting on you. This is bad. I have to hurry. I don’t have much time. You’re the only one I can count on.

I must have rasped out some of that, because Haruhiro responded. “Counting on me? On me? For what? What do you want from me? Wait, no, Manato, no.”

Take care of everyone. You’re the only one. The only one who can. I can’t do it. Can’t do anything. I can’t see anymore. I can’t see.

Dark. It’s gotten dark.

Damn.

Hey, everyone, are you there? If you’re there, say something.

I can barely even see.

“We’re here! Everyone’s here! Manato! We’re here! Don’t go!”

Yeah, see, I don’t want to go, either.

I don’t want to go.

I want to stay here.

Here, with everyone.

But I have to go.

Ohh.

I.

I’m going to die.

“Don’t go! Manato! You can’t leave us! Don’t go! Please, Manato...!”

Keep calling me, like that.

Please.

Just like that.

Until I can’t tell anymore.

Just a little longer—