Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 13 - Chapter 18

18. Magic

The vast hilly area was blanketed in flowers, flowers, and more flowers of all sizes.

That hill had red flowers blooming on it. The opposite slope had a mixture of yellow and orange flowers. There were purple flowers. There were blue flowers, too. There were white flowers, and there were pink flowers.

As for lasting traces of the ruins, there was only the debris of buildings poking up through the flowers here and there. It was mostly crumbling walls, often only pillars, covered in moss, wrapped in ivy, and having become one with the landscape.

“When it was a town, it was called Imagi, I think,” Alice said. “I seem to recall hearing that name.”

Alice had warned Haruhiro to make absolutely sure he didn’t step on any of the flowers.

These flowers hadn’t grown here on their own. They had been gathered from all over, planted, cultivated, maintained, and put in order.

It was impossible to tell from a distance, but this garden had thin paths about fifty centimeters across running all through it. The two of them followed those paths as they progressed across the hill.

“Um... If I do step on a flower, then what?” Haruhiro asked.

“They’ll get mad.”

“Who will?”

“The person we’re about to go see.”

It was apparently called Bayard Garden, but this was Ruins No. 2, an unchanging place. The number of hills wouldn’t go up or down. Or it wasn’t supposed to, at least.

They crossed seven—no, eight—of those gentle, flower-covered hills. Or was it nine? More, maybe.

At first, Haruhiro was struck by the beauty of them. Now, he felt nothing.

The flowers, the hills, what did any of it matter?

“Alice,” he said.

“What?”

“I don’t know why, but for a while now... I’m not sure when it started... anyway, my comrade’s names, they won’t come to me. Their faces do, though.”

“How about you think of their faces, then go through all the sounds their names could start with? A, i, u, e, o, ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, and so on.”

“A, i, u, e, o...”

He went all the way to “wa, wo, and n,” but nothing came to mind.

“Weird,” he said. “There’s no way I’d forget them.”

“You can forget anything,” Alice told him. “Me, I can’t remember my parents’ names or faces.”

“I’ve never remembered my parents to begin with, though...”

“Oh, you mean how you don’t know a thing about your life before you woke up in that Grimgar place, right? Well, it’s not that weird that you’d forget your comrades’ names, then.”

“If I really do forget them... it’ll be like they never existed in the first place.”

“Shihoru. Kuzaku. Merry. Setora? Oh, and what was it again? Kiichi? Yume. Umm, also Ranta? Then Manato. Moguzo?”

Haruhiro stared at Alice. “Why do you know?”

“You told me, remember? Well, I can’t guarantee they’re correct, though.”

“They’re all right,” he said slowly. “No mistakes. You got them all.”

It was a good thing he’d realized he was starting to forget his comrades. The way things were going, their very existence would have vanished from his head.

Either way, they were irreplaceable, so why had he been about to forget his comrades, who meant more than anything to him?

Haruhiro meant to find them no matter what, but on the other hand, he might have wanted to forget. If he could just completely forget, that would be easier.

That’s not true, he wanted to think. But that sort of desire may have been bubbling away inside him, without him ever noticing.

Of course, in Grimgar, even if he wanted to forget something, it wouldn’t be easy. But in Parano, even the things that should have been unforgettable might slip away into oblivion.

“Hold on to the things that matter to you, or you’ll lose them in no time,” Alice told him. “In this place, a moment and an eternity are the same. But the truth is, all we ever have is ‘now.’ That’s what it means. An eternity and an instant, they are essentially equal in value. Haruhiro. If you had known you might never meet your comrades again, if you had known that from the beginning, what would you have done?”

While they walked over the hills of flowers, a yellow bird was sitting in the middle of the narrow road. It had long feathers on top of its head. Was those called a crest? Its cheeks were round, red, and adorable.

“A parrot? Or a parakeet, maybe?” Haruhiro wondered. “What’s it doing here...?”

“Suzuki-san,” Alice said to the bird.

“Hey, Alice.” The bird called Suzuki-san said in a voice that was a little too clear to sound like an imitation of human speech. If it were not a bird, but a middle-aged or slightly older man, it would have fit better. That was the kind of voice it was. “Come to call on our flower girl, Haname?”

“Well, yeah,” said Alice. “Taking it easy here, like always, Suzuki-san?”

“It’s a comfortable place.” Suzuki-san chirped and occasionally cocked his head to the side as he spoke. His mouth moved too fast, and it was hard to say if it matched his vocalizations. “If you don’t rub Haname the wrong way, it’s lovely here.”

“I’m thinking I may impose on her for a while, too.”

“I see you have a newcomer in tow,” Suzuki noted. “Don’t go starting any trouble. I’m a pacifist, you know.”

“You shouldn’t get too close to me, then.”

“I just wanted to say hello. You know me. I’m always a polite person.” Then Suzuki-san flapped his wings, flying off somewhere else.

“Was that a half-monster?” Haruhiro asked. “Or something? It didn’t seem like a dream monster. Was it a trickster, maybe?”

“Suzuki-san’s a human. That’s his doppel.”

“A type of magic?”

“Yeah. Self-esteem, I think it’s called? For those who don’t have much of it, or who hate themselves, it’s common for them to gain the ability to call a doppel. For people with a lot of self-love, they generally use narci, which just makes them stronger themselves. It’s the most boring kind of magic. Basically, it’s a projection of your consciousness, or overall disposition.”

“So, Haname is...”

“She’s a trickster,” Alice said. “The master of Bayard Garden.”

“Um, er... a trickster? We’re meeting one? Now?”

“She’s usually a quiet, likable person. It should be fine, I think.”

Haruhiro made doubly sure to watch where he stepped. He’d been being careful ever since Alice’s original warning, but Suzuki-san had been suggesting Haname was scary when angry, so extra caution couldn’t hurt.

“Personally, I’d like to go search for my comrades quickly,” Haruhiro sighed.

“I won’t rush. If you want to go, why not go by yourself?”

“Even if I were to act alone, honestly... I wouldn’t know where to look.”

“Now that you know about the Iron Tower of Heaven, you can go anywhere, and get back.”

“So that’s why you took me there.”

“I can be kind like that sometimes, yes.”

Haruhiro came to a stop. He turned back, thinking, Maybe I should go it alone.

If he said, I’m going, Alice might stop Haruhiro. Alice might come up with some reason or other, and have him keep following. That’s probably what Haruhiro was hoping for.

When had he gotten so weak? No, he had been like this all along. As a volunteer soldier trainee, he’d never done anything for himself without Manato’s say-so.

If he’d gotten serious back then, doing the best he could, maybe they wouldn’t have lost him?

“Alice,” he called out, but not to stop the other person. “Alice C.”

He already had his back to Alice. He couldn’t hear any footsteps, so Alice had probably stopped.

Without turning back, Haruhiro said, “I’m going. I’ll find my comrades.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Oh, and maybe my magic, too.”

“Well, give it your best shot.”

If they parted here, they’d never meet again. He had that feeling. It made him feel a little lonely, but there was no hesitation.

No. The reason he didn’t turn, it was because he felt like it would dull his resolve. He was hesitating. He had to think he wasn’t, or he couldn’t go forward, so he told himself he felt no hesitation.

Haruhiro touched the mask covering his mouth. “Thanks for the mask.”

“It was nothing, really.”

He was about to say, See you around, but Haruhiro swallowed the words, and took a step forward.

If he could act on the spur of the moment, he could let that take him as far as it would.

He’d be alone from here on. Alone forever, maybe.

His chest tightened.

It was scary, but if his feet would move through the fear, he could move forward that much more. He found himself wanting to call his comrades’ names. He couldn’t have forgotten them again already, right?

It’s fine, he reassured himself. I know them. But hold back for now. Until I’m out of Bayard Garden, at least. How far do I have to walk? Maybe I should run.

Even though he didn’t run, he did quicken his pace a little.

It happened right after that.

There was something moving on the hill up ahead. It was several hundred meters away, possibly more, so he couldn’t see it well. But it was traveling the narrow paths.

Was it human? The first idea to come to mind was Ahiru. But it wasn’t him. From the shape of it, it didn’t look human. A dream monster, maybe?

With Alice so close by? The dream monsters were supposed to fear Alice. That meant it was a half-monster, a human absorbed by a dream monster, huh? That, or someone’s doppel, maybe.

Haruhiro drew his dagger and readied himself.

It was—a spider. But the legs were like an octopus’s. A human-octopus-spider.

Its movement was by no means slow; in fact, it was pretty fast. It had already closed to forty, fifty meters.

It was bigger than a person, and many-legged, so with skillful manipulation of those numerous octopus legs, it could race down a road that was no more than fifty centimeters across.

“Ahahahahahah! Ahahahahahahahahahah! Ahahahahah! Ahahahahahahahahahah!”

It was laughing about something, too. It had a human head, after all. Maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising it could.

The voice was crazy.

“Hold on...?” Haruhiro could already make out the eyes and nose of the human-octopus-spider clearly.

That hard-looking hair. The glasses. The snub nose. The angular face. And that voice.

“Ahihihiiii! Heehah! Ehihiohohohohohoh! Gyahahahahbyohohogyuheheeh!”

“...Kejiman?”

“Doppooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!” The octopus legs retracted, then extended quickly, and the creature sprang. Kejiman did.

No, was it Kejiman? The face looked like Kejiman. Like, they were two peas in a pod. It was just like Kejiman.

The creature hadn’t just jumped straight up. In other words, it wasn’t a vertical leap; it was coming this way. It was jumping at him, wasn’t it? If he didn’t get out of the way, it was going to hit him head-on, wasn’t it?

Naturally, Haruhiro wasn’t empty-headed enough to sit still in a situation like this. The spot where he expected the human-octopus-spider that looked like Kejiman to land and Haruhiro’s current position were one and the same, so he could avoid trouble by moving.

Instead of backing away, yeah, he was better to move up. If this were a place where he had freedom of movement, he’d have done a forward roll, but he couldn’t disturb the flower garden, so he ran down the narrow path with his posture kept low.

Kejiman soared over Haruhiro’s head.

No, he didn’t know for sure it was Kejiman, though.

There was a weird, wet landing sound behind him. When he did an about-face, the human-octopus-spider that looked like Kejiman was turning around, and he saw Alice racing towards them from the other side.

“Hey, don’t step on the flowers!” Alice shouted.

Alice probably wasn’t saying that to Haruhiro, but to the human-octopus-spider that looked like Kejiman. He had to question whether it could understand what they were saying, but it was kind of too late.

Letting out a “Shaaaaaaaa...” or some other sound, the human-octopus-spider that looked like Kejiman turned in his direction. Its octopus legs were outside the walkway,cruelly trampling the pure white flowers. “Haruharuharuharuharuharuharuhirorororororororororororoooooooo...”

“No, man...” Haruhiro mumbled.

This thing was Kejiman. Or it had originally been Kejiman, at least.

He wanted to cry. There weren’t many guys who could be this much of a nuisance, you know? Also, the way its tongue moved while going “Rororororororororororo” was exceedingly gross.

Hold on, it was stepping on the flowers. Now what?

“How could you...!” Alice sprang at the ex-Kejiman.

The shovel had peeled, and tens of blackish belts of skin wrapped around the ex-Kejiman. It went without saying, but those things weren’t just skin. They had protected Alice and Haruhiro from the whirling maelstrom of debris. They were tough, but also sharp.

Tens of those blackish belts of skin sliced the ex-Kejiman into ribbons. Even just being brushed by the belts, they easily cut through the ex-Kejiman like it was made of jelly.

“Uwah...” Haruhiro stepped back despite himself.

The ex-Kejiman’s torso was like a massive spider, and the legs were like an octopus’s. Kejiman’s head was jutting out from the top of the torso section. The belts of skin wildly slashed not just the torso, or just the legs, but all of him without any mercy. It wouldn’t be long before Kejiman’s head was snipped off.

But, right before it could be...

...Kejiman slipped free.

As if he had just been launched out of the torso, a naked Kejiman went flying.

It looked kind of like Kejiman had just been born out of an octopus-spider.

“Eek! Eeeeeeeek!” Kejiman screamed.

Having fallen on the narrow path, the man was now crawling this way.

Haruhiro backed off even further. The guy was naked, after all. He was also covered all over in mucus, and was sticky and slimy. Even if he hadn’t been all of those things, this wasn’t a man Haruhiro ever wanted to get close to.

“Haruhirororororo!” Kejiman wailed. “Haruhirorororororororororoooo! Rorororororororororororo!”

“No! Stay away!”

“That’s awfully cold of youuuu...”

Kejiman stood up. The octopus-spider had already fallen to pieces, and was scattered all over.

Alice jumped over the remains, shovel at the ready. “A human came out of a dream monster? What is that guy? Haruhiro, is he a friend of yours?”

“No, he’s not my friend...”

“If we ain’t friends, what are weee, Haruhiro?” Kejiman whined. “Say my naaaaaaame.”

“It’s Kejiman, right?”

“I’m Kejimananan? Whuhwhawhawhawhawhat? Whawhawhawhawhahwahwhawhawha.”

His tongue was thrust out, moving back and forth at incredible speed. Kejiman’s eyes were spinning rapidly round and round in their sockets. His blood vessels were all raised, and pulsating. He was clearly not in any normal state. He was done for.

It might be heartless, but they had to finish him. Whether he was a half-monster or something else that Haruhiro didn’t know, Kejiman had become some sort of monster.

But it was questionable if Haruhiro could do it. He had no confidence.

“A-Alice...”

He was sorry to do it, but he’d have to turn to Alice for help. Though, even if Haruhiro hadn’t asked, the shovel in Alice’s hands was already peeling.

Farewell, Kejiman, he thought. May we never meet again. I mean, if I’d never met you in the first place, we wouldn’t even be in this mess.

“ΩΩΩΩχχχχχχχχΩΩΩχχχχχχχΩΩχχχχχχχχΩΩΩχχχχχχχχχΩΩΩχχχχχχχχχΩΩχχχχχχχχχΩΩΩχχχχχχχΩΩχχχχχχχχχχχΩΩΩΩΩχχχχχχχΩΩΩΩχχχχχχχχ...!”

Haruhiro staggered. Was that a sound? It was ultrasonic, or an ultra-vibration, or something. There was a pain in his ears, but it also threw off his equilibrium, making him stumble around badly.

It wasn’t just Haruhiro. The naked Kejiman was clutching its head, and even Alice was partially cowering.

Alice shouted “...name!” or something like that.

...name...

...name...

Haname, huh. The master of Bayard Garden. A trickster.

You mustn’t step on the flowers in this place, Haruhiro remembered.

Kejiman had broken that taboo. He had incurred the wrath of Haname. Was this the result?

From the edge of the land, something gradually spread across the sky. It grew larger and larger, painting over the polka dot sky, expanding, occupying it. It wasn’t a simple color, and it was hard to say what colors it was. The coloration changed moment to moment, and it was shining, too, almost like an aurora. However, it was clearly different from a phenomenon involving electrical discharge. It was there as a solid object.

Was it an object, or, since it was moving, was it a creature? It was so big that “huge” didn’t begin to cover it. It was like a bird, or a butterfly, or a moth, or something had its wings spread, and was trying to blot out the sky.

Could it be... that was her?

“...Haname?” Haruhiro whispered.

Nah, couldn’t be. It was clearly way too big for that. It probably wasn’t Haname herself, but a phenomenon being brought about by Haname’s power. That was probably a better way to think of it.

Naturally, it was still amazing enough that he wanted to pray this was some sort of mistake. What was going to happen now? He couldn’t imagine, but Haname, or the thing that was Haname’s power, which was trying to fill the sky, appeared to be forming waves. If it were some sort of massive butterfly or moth, it might have been trying to beat its wings.

He felt a wind. It wasn’t sweet. Up and up, the atmosphere was being sucked.

“Uhoh! Uhoh! Uhoh! Uhohoh! Uhohohohohoh!” Kejiman was on all-fours, clinging to the ground.

“Ah!” Haruhiro’s body was lifted up.

Oh, crap.

He was flying.

Hold on, they were flying away.

The flowers.

The flowers of Bayard Garden, countless petals of red, yellow, orange, purple, blue, white, and pink were being swept up.

“No! Hold on?!” Haruhiro flailed desperately, trying to return to the ground.

But he was floating.

Haruhiro was already in the air.

Maybe there was nothing he could—

“Haruhiro!” Right beneath him, Alice had the shovel thrust into the ground.

The shovel peeled, and the blackish belts of skin reached for Haruhiro. Perhaps Alice was trying to save him. But wouldn’t this cut him? Was it safe?

The blackish belts of skin embraced and wrapped around Haruhiro with a surprising tenderness.

Having pulled Haruhiro down, Alice forced him to the ground.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!” Kejiman wailed. “Kyuuuuuuuu! Kyoooooooooooo...?!”

The naked Kejiman was sucked up into the sky. Hold on, why was he swimming? Well, even if he’d turned into a monster, he couldn’t swim through the sky. He was just moving his arms and legs like that to give the impression of swimming.

Alice deployed the shovel’s skin like a tent. In no time, tens of those skins were stuck tightly together, leaving not even the slightest gap. Alice cut off the outside from the inside, sealing it away. The violent air currents outside could blow as wildly as they wanted, but only the sound of wind reached inside.

“Here’s hoping this is enough to quell her anger,” Alice said. “I’m not counting on it, though.”

“Don’t tell me,” Haruhiro gulped. “That big thing, that’s Haname?”

“She’s not always like that. She looks like a beautiful woman. No face, though.”

“Oh... I see, so she has no face...”

“This is all because that gross thing stepped on the flowers.”

“If anything, it’s Haname herself who’s the one messing them up...”

“When she gets mad, she loses control, but as far as tricksters go, she’s one of the better ones.”

One of the better ones.

That was one of the better ones?

Seriously? Tricksters were scary. He didn’t want to have anything to do with them.

“Haruhiro,” said Alice.

“...Yes?”

“I bet it’s a mystery to you why I came all the way to Haname’s place.”

“Well... yeah, it is, honestly.”

“Even if she’s an incredibly troublesome connection, she’s better than nothing,” Alice said. “If you think you can get by in life without getting involved with people, you’re wrong.”

Suddenly, Ranta’s face flashed through his mind. Even if the guy was an ass, if he were here now, it would be a little—no, very—reassuring. He’d meant to search for his comrades alone, but that resolution was already wavering.

Should he do something about this unbearable weakness, try to cast it aside somehow? Or did he have to accept his weak self, and continue to get by somehow?

When he was with his comrades, Haruhiro’s role was clear, choosing goals was simple, and he just had to push towards them. When he was alone, he couldn’t stick to the things he did manage to decide, and he quickly wavered.

“That’s who you are, I suppose,” Alice suddenly whispered. Right hand still holding the bare shovel, Alice grabbed Haruhiro by the collar with the left hand. “Get up.”

“Huh?”

Obeying Alice’s order, even though he was dubious about it, Haruhiro was shocked when Alice put a hand around his waist.

“...Huh? What? Why...? Huh?”

“I thought something was weird. I could feel it,” Alice said. “Using magic is fairly tiring, but when I’m next to you, my body feels light somehow. Basically, my magic is stronger.”

The bare shovel was flickering a faint red. If Alice took off the mask, what would Alice look like?

Maybe Alice could tell what he was thinking.

“It’s okay,” Alice said in a whisper. “My mask, you can take it off. You want to see, right?”

His hands trembled. They didn’t hesitate. Haruhiro shifted Alice’s mask down below the chin.

“I’m pretty normal,” said Alice. “Disappointed?”

“...Nah.”

“The search for your comrades,” Alice told him. “Let me help you with it, Haruhiro. If you can help me with your magic, that is.”

“My... magic?”

“There are four types of magic. I told you that, didn’t I?”

“Philia, narci, doppel... I’ve only heard about three.”

“That’s because it’s my first time seeing the fourth. Resonance.”

“...That’s what mine is?”

“Yep. The thing about resonance, it makes other people’s magic stronger. That’s all.”

“So basically... I can’t do anything on my own?”

“Perfect for you, huh,” Alice said with a faint smile.

His heart had been racing for a while now. He didn’t want that to get noticed. But Alice already knew for sure.

I’m not ugly, Alice had said.

That took some gall. This went well beyond not being ugly.

There was a female elf named Lilia in the party of Soma, who led the Daybreakers. Being an elf, her facial structure was fundamentally different from humans’, giving her an otherworldly beauty.

If he were forced to describe it, Alice was like Lilia. Not quite comparable to other humans. The nose, the eyes, the lips... was it strange that those shapes, those sizes, was able to make him think Parano wasn’t so bad, after all?

It was as if some creator god had carefully perfected Alice’s face at the micron level. Like the slightest breath might make it all crumble, but it was far too valuable to destroy.

Alice had talked about being badly bullied. Whether physically or mentally, he couldn’t understand what those hurting Alice had been thinking.

If it were Haruhiro, he’d likely have been too terrified to even approach. If possible, he didn’t want to be anywhere close. To just see it occasionally from a distance was enough.

Was Alice actually real?

Was this a dream, after all?

Even after this, Haruhiro would go on to think that many times.

He would also think this:

If only it could all be a dream.