Chapter 4 - Past, Present, and...
Ninym’s days in the forest mansion continued. Although always inscrutable, Prince Wein was never irrational, and she grew accustomed to his aloof demeanor. She still fumbled at work, but Raklum offered constant support. In short, her new life was rather lovely.
Still, Ninym couldn’t deny a murkiness in her heart. Her recent comforts served only to deepen the unpleasant shadows.
“Both sides have come to an agreement. Tomorrow, someone from your village will confirm your health.”
Raklum’s announcement solidified her phantoms.
“I’ve rented a room in a nearby town that will be our meeting place. I’ll accompany you, but I believe you should be the one to persuade them if you wish to remain here.”
Young Ninym had chanced upon work and shelter after running away without a word to anyone. The northernmost kingdom of Natra was a dismal land spurned even by thieves and kidnappers, but that wasn’t to say all its people harbored pure intentions.
Ninym was fortunate to have avoided trouble so far. Wein and Raklum wouldn’t object if she wished to be escorted back to her home with the Flahm. Only Ninym’s selfishness kept her here. These tranquil days forced her to look at the hard truth.
What do I want?
She’d constantly asked herself this question while in the mansion but still had no answer. And now, time was up.
“I understand your hesitation,” Raklum said. “However, they will only grow more concerned if nothing is done. Whatever the end result, at least prove you are alive and well.”
Ninym nodded.
“Furthermore, His Highness shall join us,” the guardsman added.
“Prince Wein will?”
“Forgive me, but I am reluctant to leave His Highness alone for your sake. Upon review of the matter, the prince decided this was for the best.”
Raklum was the mansion’s only guard, so he could protect only one of the children at a time. Wein was naturally his highest priority. It would be presumptuous of Ninym to consider herself on the same level. She was grateful for their company nonetheless. Still, she thought it would’ve been better if Wein had brought more guards with him.
“In any case, you needn’t worry about His Highness or myself. Focus on you.”
“…I understand.”
Raklum’s suggestion raised old questions.
What did Ninym want to do? Would she know by tomorrow?
The trio departed as planned on the following day. Thanks to a hectic work schedule, Ninym hadn’t left the mansion since she first arrived. The forest’s vastness dawned on her as they walked along the path, and she realized just how lucky she’d been.
After a while, they reached the edge of the forest, where a splendid horse-drawn carriage awaited them.
“Sorry for the wait.”
“Not at all.”
Raklum spoke briefly with the man who’d brought the horses, then glanced behind himself.
“Your Highness, Ninym, please step inside.”
“Me? A-are you sure it’s all right?”
Raklum chuckled. “Do you plan to walk there?” He mounted a horse not hitched to the carriage.
Wein climbed in, and Ninym hastily followed suit. The courier was also apparently their coachman.
“Right, let’s be off,” Raklum announced.
Soon, the carriage was on its way.
“Wow…”
Ninym had never ridden in a coach before and felt instantly overwhelmed. The sway of the portable room was a foreign sensation. She’d heard carriage rides were bumpy, but the high-quality cushions or some unknown device absorbed most of the shock.
Ninym leaned forward to admire the passing scenery but quickly remembered she wasn’t alone.
“P-pardon me. I got carried away.”
“It’s fine,” Wein replied crisply.
Ninym sheepishly sat back down. His coldness might’ve once been mistaken for disfavor, but experience had taught her that Wein’s words were sincere.
“…Um, Your Highness?”
“What is it?”
“Well, I just wanted to thank you for everything.”
She had no idea why a prince like Wein lived in the middle of nowhere, but whatever the reason, he’d rescued her in several ways. Ninym couldn’t begin to express her gratitude, and yet…
“You asked, and I agreed. That’s all.”
Another brusque response. She’d expected no less, but Ninym quietly sighed. It made sense, of course. As the unilateral recipient of Wein’s generosity, she really had no right to complain.
All the same, Ninym’s feelings were mixed. Such an underwhelming reaction made her thankful heart feel like a pebble on the roadside.
What was his motivation?
“…Your Highness, did you help me out of noble obligation?” she asked abruptly.
If Wein’s charity had been born out of a privileged duty to aid the unfortunate, she could understand why he’d freely do so without compensation.
However, Wein blindsided her.
“Noble?” repeated the boy whose lineage was the greatest in all of Natra. He acted as if she’d suddenly spoken in a foreign tongue, then he gave a small smile. “Hmm. ‘Noble,’ huh? Is that what this looks like? I suppose it’s reasonable to think as much.”
“Um…”
Flustered by her first glimpse of the prince’s brief, inexplicable smile, Ninym anxiously wondered if she’d said something wrong. However, Wein continued unaware.
“People have desires and fantasies. Things they want to have or be. I can grant both. That’s why.”
“Uhhh…”
Ninym’s confusion deepened. She mulled over his words for a few moments, then timidly replied “Then…you helped me because I asked?”
This made Wein sound like benevolence personified, but she could tell there was more left unsaid. At first, Ninym thought it might be akin to noble obligation after all, but that felt off the mark.
“Make of it what you will,” Wein replied as if reading her mind.
His baffling, dismissive answer frustrated Ninym. She sighed again. Despite her mature demeanor, she was still only a child.
“…What if I had other requests? Would you grant those, too?”
Ninym’s petulant comment was made only in passing, but Wein regarded her seriously.
“What do you want?”
“Huh?”
“What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?”
All at once, fear struck Ninym. Wein’s tone was no different than usual, but this was a dangerous question. She understood that one wrong answer could irrevocably ruin everything.
“U-um…”
What should she say or not say? Ninym’s mind reeled.
“Pardon me, Your Highness,” Raklum interrupted. He’d pulled up alongside the carriage window. “The town has come into view, and we’ll be arriving shor… Is something the matter?”
The peculiar atmosphere didn’t escape Raklum’s notice, and he gave a perplexed look. Wein shook his head lightly.
“Nothing to worry about. Just silly kid stuff.”
“I see.”
Raklum rode away without prying further. Wein’s gaze returned to Ninym, who immediately sat up straight. However, the prince had apparently lost interest, because he closed his eyes and said no more.
What was Wein really after? Despite her lingering questions, Ninym felt a wave of relief. She couldn’t afford to upset her benefactor now, not on the precipice of her biggest battle.
Ninym anxiously stewed over her thoughts as she imagined what lay ahead.
Inhale. Exhale.
Ninym repeated this two and three more times to ease her nerves. It didn’t help much.
“Relax. They’re not going to eat you,” Raklum assured from beside her.
It was no use. Acknowledging that fact only stressed her out more.
“…Is it just up ahead?”
“Yes, I believe they’re waiting for us.”
The carriage arrived in town and stopped before the appointed inn. Once Wein was safe in a separate room, Raklum and Ninym headed to the meeting. They now stood in front of the door.
“…”
She took another deep breath and exhaled. Finally, Ninym gathered her courage and knocked.
“Pardon the intrusion.”
They entered to find two people. One was a wizened Flahm woman, an elder who knew Ninym’s secret lineage.
“Ohhh, Ninym…!” The woman hobbled over upon catching sight of the girl. “I heard you were safe and sound, but let me take a look at you! You’re not hurt, right? Are you eating enough?”
“Yes. As you can see, I’m quite well, Elder. More importantly…” Ninym turned her attention to the other person in the room. “I didn’t expect you to come, Master Levan.”
“One of our lost children has been found. As leader, it is only natural that I confirm your good health.”
Levan was the head of Natra’s Flahm. Ninym had spoken to him only a handful of times, but this was no surprise. As aide to Natra’s King Owen, he carried a responsibility to the nation, and his days were understandably busy. No matter how capable, he couldn’t afford to meet a child like Ninym on a regular basis.
It was, therefore, strange to find him here. Levan insisted otherwise, but in truth, coming all this way to check on Ninym was unwarranted. Had Ninym glanced at Raklum and seen his wide-eyed expression, she would’ve understood.
The reason for his presence was simple—Ninym carried the Founder’s legacy.
“My heart is lightened to know that you’re okay. This was the divine protection of our great Founder, no doubt.” The old woman spoke with a sigh of relief. “My poor heart. When you suddenly vanished, we were all downright sick with worry.”
For young orphans like Ninym, who were raised by the entire village, everyone was like family. She hadn’t forgotten that, but hearing how her disappearance had upset people racked her with guilt.
“Everyone felt a smidge better once we learned you were safe.”
“I’ve caused you a lot of trouble. Sorry.”
“You can apologize to the whole village later. So who’s this lad?”
“Oh, yes. This is the gracious noble who took me in. I’ve been working for him.”
“…I am Raklum.”
Raklum bowed but remained cautious. His eyes were on the old woman, but his real concern was Levan. His behavior was understandable for someone unaware of Ninym’s lineage. After all, why would one of the nation’s foremost leaders make a sudden appearance just to check on a runaway?
Raklum would surely accept the truth, but the Flahm couldn’t simply give up their greatest secret.
Just as Ninym wondered what to do…
“Be at ease. I know whom you serve.”
Levan’s words sent a jolt through the guardsman.
“His Highness is also here, correct? I would ask for an audience later.”
Raklum and Ninym interpreted this request differently. To Raklum, it made sense that someone of Levan’s status would know his master. Ninym, on the other hand, realized Levan had mentioned Wein in order to shift the subject away from her importance.
“We’ve got other business first, Levan,” the old woman said, either unaware or perhaps indifferent to the strategic battle in progress. “This fine young man is Ninym’s savior.”
“Indeed. As the leader of the Flahm, I am sincerely grateful for the care you’ve shown one of our children.”
Raklum fidgeted as the illustrious Levan lowered his head. “I did nothing, really. It was my liege’s decision.”
“I will be certain to thank His Highness as well. All the same, it’s quite clear you’ve treated the girl well.”
“Y-you honor me.”
Levan and the elder could easily tell Ninym was trying her best to hide behind Raklum. She never would have done so if she’d been mistreated.
“I’m curious to hear about your days together,” the elder remarked. “But there’s plenty of time for that once we get home. And don’t think you’ll avoid the lecture of your life, missy.”
“I feel the same, though I’m afraid I must return to the palace today,” Levan said.
“Always the busy one, aren’t ya? That’s fine. I’ll take Ninym back myself.”
“…”
Ninym’s shoulders trembled ever so faintly, and Raklum looked over at her. He hesitated but ultimately spoke up. “Well…about that. There’s a matter I wish to discuss.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t know how to word this, but…might we keep the girl for a while?” Levan and the elder’s eyes immediately narrowed. Raklum grimaced beneath the gaze of one who far outranked him in age and another in status. “You see, my master’s estate lacks proper staff. She is a diligent worker and has been a great help with the housework.”
“And so we should just hand her over to you?” the elder shot back. “Regardless of Ninym’s work ethic, she’s still far from adulthood. Why not hire enough people? Consider my advice as a small token of gratitude.”
Her proposal left Raklum at a loss for words, and his eyes signaled to Ninym that there was nothing more he could do. She gave a small nod and steeled herself.
“Please wait,” Ninym said, her expression earnest. “I don’t want to go home.”
Wein read his book, quiet and expressionless, in his room at the inn. His figure was picturesque, and only the occasional movement of his index finger with each turn of the page indicated flesh and blood.
An abrupt sound outside the door broke the silence.
“Pardon me, Your Highness.”
Raklum appeared with another man alongside him. Levan.
Wein closed his book. “Has your meeting concluded?”
“Not yet,” Raklum replied with a concerned expression. “We’ve stepped out for a short while. There is a sensitive matter I’m not privy to, and Sir Levan wishes to speak with you on it in private.”
“It has been some time, Prince Wein,” Levan said as he fell to one knee. “I am delighted to see you in good health. I received word of your health after you left the palace, but it is a relief to confirm the truth with my own eyes.”
“Same to you,” Wein replied curtly. “Is His Majesty well?”
“Yes. He is in good health,” Levan answered with a nod. “However, I did not come today simply to inquire about Your Highness. I am also here to convey the king’s feelings.”
Levan’s objective was unquestionably to ensure the safety of a “normal girl” like Ninym, and he had used Wein’s presence as a cover-up. However, he was also on a mission to deliver the king’s will.
“His Majesty is concerned for your well-being. It’s not safe outside the palace, and you hardly keep any attendants. Although he hasn’t said so outwardly, the king wishes for you to return home.”
Any relationship between a parent and a child could sour. Thankfully, King Owen and Prince Wein were quite close. His Majesty was hounded by royal duties and couldn’t carve out much family time, but Wein understood this and still held his father in high regard. Owen was likewise impressed by his son’s talents. At least that was how everyone else saw it.
As a king and a parent, Owen was naturally worried about his son and heir. Levan had served the nation for many years and could read the king like an open book.
“Of course, I am aware of Your Highness’s concerns,” Levan said. Prince Wein wouldn’t leave the palace for a pleasure trip. “The unsettling air that has permeated the castle since the queen’s passing is quite palpable.”
The queen—King Owen’s wife and mother of Wein and his sister, Falanya. Her death was still fresh in everyone’s hearts and minds. Her health had deteriorated soon after Falanya was born, but all prayers for her swift recovery went unanswered despite the physicians’ best efforts. The queen was the daughter of a minor noble, but it was said King Owen fell for her at first sight. She was beloved by the people, and they deeply mourned her passing. However, dark ambition brewed in the vacuum she’d left.
“How many have acted?” Wein suddenly asked.
Levan frowned. “Countless are vying to become His Majesty’s second wife. Among them, two or three houses intend to remove you from the picture.”
“I see.”
Vassals were after Wein’s life. The prince’s face betrayed very little, but the tension was surely unimaginable. As Raklum listened, he put the pieces together.
Is this situation holding Prince Wein back?
Natra was a diminutive nation, but all admired the royal family. It was no surprise that nobles were scrambling to replace the queen. However, Crown Prince Wein stood in their way.
King Owen was still robust. It was entirely reasonable for him to take a second wife. The birth of another child would undoubtedly cause an inheritance dispute, though. A promising heir like Wein already had the king’s full support. This made him a prime target for any woman who succeeded the late queen. She would need to eliminate any future competition if she gave birth to a boy.
“I’m currently working with General Hagal, and we are prepared to apprehend any malfeasants. The issue will be resolved soon enough, and loyal guards stand at the ready. You will not be harmed, even within the palace walls.”
Hagal was one of the king’s most outstanding and well-trusted generals. He could easily snuff an insolent scheme or two, but his very involvement spoke to the severity of the threat.
I’d heard the palace was on edge but never thought it’d be this bad.
Raklum at last wholly understood why Wein had confined himself to that remote forest, retained only a single attendant with no connection to the palace, and kept the situation private.
He felt no dishonor over being left in the dark. Wein had acted appropriately to preserve his own life, and Raklum admired the boy’s courage and ingenuity. Wein hadn’t even reached his first decade. Were all royals so clever, or was he an exception?
“Your Highness, I would ask your thoughts.” Levan bowed his head. Wein remained silent as if in deliberation.
Raklum didn’t know the prince’s mind, but he would remain by his master’s side until the day he was relieved of his duties. Internally, he gave a wry smile and felt a wave of fresh conviction.
Still, what a strange turn of events.
His thought wasn’t in reference to how he’d been chosen by Wein.
Images of young Wein and Ninym rose in Raklum’s mind. Both were kids who ran away from home. Despite their different circumstances, a boy and a girl who shared no connection had fled their homes and met deep in the forest. Who wouldn’t find it odd?
Come to think of it, how is our other discussion going?
Raklum’s attention strayed to outside the room, when suddenly…
“Forget it! I don’t care!”
…the familiar yet unusually infuriated voice of a young girl echoed past the door. Raklum gripped the sword at his waist and rushed out. The Flahm elder stood in the hall with a bitter expression as she watched Ninym hurry away.
“What’s going on?!” Levan exclaimed from behind Raklum.
“Sorry, Levan. I told her a million times we’re going home, but…”
Far from convincing the woman, it was obvious Ninym had managed only to antagonize her.
“Your Highness…” Levan looked back at Wein with unease. “My deepest apologies. We were in the middle of a conversation, but I ask that you allow me to pursue Ninym.”
It was a sheer miracle that nothing had happened to Ninym after she ran away the first time, but there was no guarantee she’d get lucky twice. If nothing else, the girl needed to be returned to the inn, and quickly.
“It’s fine. Do as you please.”
“Thank you!” Levan bowed, turned on his heel, and raced out of the inn. Wein, Raklum, and the old woman watched him leave.
“What shall we do, Your Highness?” Raklum asked.
“Hmm…”
While Raklum wavered between his compassionate desire to bring Ninym back and his duty as Wein’s protector, the young prince fell silent for a moment.
“Her answer might be different now.”
“What…?”
“Let’s go. I have a hunch as to where she’s going.”
Wein stood and left the room.
After fleeing the inn, Ninym came to sit beneath a large tree she’d found on the outskirts of town while wandering aimlessly.
“…”
Her earlier conversation with the old woman played repeatedly in her head. Ninym had confessed she didn’t want to return to the village and tried to persuade the elder, but it was no use. The woman adamantly refused to listen, and Ninym ran off as frustration gave rise to anger.
Yes, she was a two-time runaway even though her first attempt had already shown this would solve nothing.
“What am I doing?” Ninym mumbled. All at once, her heart was overcome by a surge of emotions.
Sorrow at being misunderstood. Irritation over her failure to express herself. Self-hatred and shame for the way she’d fled in a childish tantrum even though she knew it would fix nothing. All three converged to form tears that ran down her cheeks.
“What should I do?” The girl’s vision blurred, and her eyes stung. Suddenly, she sensed someone’s approach and looked up. “…Your Highness?”
Natra’s Prince Wein stood before her.
“Why are you here…?”
“You’re pretty easy to figure out.”
No one else knew where Ninym was. Levan was still searching high and low, yet Wein had found her in no time. Knowledge of the local area, insight into stress and the child psyche, and remarkably keen perception had led him to the answer.
Ninym was oblivious to this and thoroughly confused, of course. All she knew was the prince had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
Wein watched her unwaveringly as he spoke. “People cling to their one-sided expectations of what others should do or be.”
“What?”
The boy’s cryptic remark served only to befuddle Ninym even more. He pressed on, untroubled by her confusion.
“Parent and child, friends, lovers, teacher and student, master and servant—it happens in any kind of relationship, but this isn’t necessarily good or bad. It’s just human nature. And while the extra pressure inspires some, you can’t blame others for rejecting the burden put on them.”
Ninym finally realized he was talking about her.
“However, sometimes it hurts to betray those pushy opinions. Which means your heart needs an anchor beyond that rebellion.”
“An anchor…?”
“Whatever the reason, you rejected the path your guardians set for you. So now you must decide for yourself. What will you do? What do you want to do?”
His words weighed heavily on Ninym’s heart.
What would she do? What did she want? Such was the challenge put to her.
“I—I…” Ninym tried to answer but found herself tongue-tied.
For her, there was never an option. She couldn’t stay under this tree forever, yet she had nowhere else to go. She’d have to crawl back to the inn eventually. Ninym understood that the issue was far from resolved, yet her body wouldn’t move. Her heart screamed, No! You can’t make me!
“That’s why your heart needs an anchor.” Wein seemed to be reading her thoughts. “What about the weakness and misery you feel? That bleeding heart is a death sentence. You could always give up, but you’ll need to think outside the box otherwise. Figure out what works for you, not others.”
Ninym would push herself into a corner if she dismissed every little thing; Wein was pointing out that she needed a goal to allow for self-love and a positive mind-set. There was no question his words sought to guide the lost girl.
“But…” Ninym’s voice trembled. “I-I’m not sure…what I want to do.”
Ah, I knew it.
Her mind was blank. How would she convince Levan and the village like this? Excuses aside, Ninym once again realized her behavior amounted to kicking and screaming.
It was embarrassing. Pathetic. She wanted to stick her head in the sand.
However…
“If you don’t know yet, then just keep thinking it over,” Wein said airily. “If every problem had an immediate solution, humanity wouldn’t have to suffer. Time isn’t a cure-all, but sometimes it’s the right tool for the job. I’d say this qualifies. Knowing that, there’s something you need and someone you should ask.”
Wein had made his intentions crystal clear. Ninym understood his persistence and what needed to be said, yet she hesitated.
Could she really say it? Did she have the right?
Perhaps sensing that doubt, Wein spoke for her.
“It might seem insignificant, but you cut your own path in that forest.” He brought up their coincidental encounter at the hidden mansion. Their shared connection could have ended right there, but Ninym had decided to keep it alive. “Which means you can repeat it again and again.”
Wein looked directly into Ninym’s eyes. He was waiting for a reply, and she had the right and responsibility to oblige.
“…I’m not sure what I want yet. I know I’m causing a lot of trouble for my village and other people. Still, I can’t go back,” she said. “Please, give me more time.”
Part of Ninym knew this had likely been her only option all along, but she’d made a conscious decision. Although the choice was ultimately ambiguous, she felt it had some value.
“You heard her, Levan.”
Wein glanced to the side, where Levan stood. The man had arrived at some point during the conversation. Raklum was right behind him. The prince must have called them both.
“Ninym…I won’t deny that we have high hopes for you.” Levan gave a small sigh. “It was never our intention to push you into a corner…but it would seem we’ve done so inadvertently. I apologize.”
“Master Levan…”
“I will explain the situation to everyone. You should spend more time outside the village and find yourself.”
Ninym broke into a faint smile as Levan’s words sank in.
“I hope you’ll forgive the inconvenience, Your Highness,” Levan said to the prince.
“It’s no problem.”
“I’m sincerely grateful for your kindness.” Levan bowed as leader of the Flahm and one of Ninym’s guardians. “Well then. Night will soon fall, so let us return to the inn to discuss the matter further. Ninym, please rest in the provided room for now.”
“O-okay!”
Everyone followed Levan back to the inn, but Wein froze mid-step when someone tugged his sleeve from behind. It was Ninym.
“Ah, um…” Unable to put her emotions into words, she simply stared at the ground.
“No need to thank me,” Wein stated. “I had the authority; you had the willpower. That’s all.”
They’d been together long enough for Ninym to realize such words were not spoken out of false modesty. They came from the heart.
“Still…I’m really happy.” This time, Ninym found her voice and conveyed her feelings with a bow. “Thank you, Prince Wein. I won’t ever forget this kindness.”
“Like I said, there’s no need for that.” Wein sighed and turned on his heel. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”
“Thank you!”
Ninym smiled, and they set off together, side by side.
This illness is worse than I thought.
Ninym awoke in a daze, filled with niggling, lingering feelings.
She’d been reckless in the past. Despite her mature intentions, it frustrated Ninym that she’d failed to act any differently than an ordinary child. This was usually the part where she’d hide under the blankets in shame, but not today. Ninym wasn’t focused on the one dream, but instead on the nightly, repeating pattern.
The reason is obvious enough…
Wein.
He was Natra’s crown prince, her master, and the childhood friend she’d met in a forest mansion. Ninym knew he was important to her; however, his recent behavior left her anxious. That was likely what had rekindled her memories of their early days together.
What is Wein really thinking?
Ever since Ninym met Wein, she’d made every effort to understand him. As a result, they could now communicate almost entirely without words.
Perhaps that was only an illusion, though. Ninym had been shocked by Falanya’s bid for political power, but Wein actually supported it. And although Ninym accepted his rationale, part of her remained unsatisfied. Besides, the situation with Falanya wasn’t the only instance where it felt like they weren’t on the same page.
These issues had slowly accumulated and transformed into the darkness that churned within her.
We should talk, but…
Open dialogue was the best answer to a rift rooted in unspoken intentions. Ninym knew this yet struggled to take the first step. She was afraid. What if they spoke and Ninym concluded they’d never see eye to eye?
“…I’ve only matured on the outside. Inside, I’m still a child.”
By failing to take necessary action, Ninym was no more decisive than the girl in her dreams. However, Wein couldn’t guide her this time. She was on her own.
Ninym felt torn over this. There was a push for independence among the Flahm, and their leader, Levan, had asked Ninym to keep the details from Wein. It seemed hypocritical to wonder what he was thinking while also keeping things from him. Ninym’s heart tumbled in conflict.
“Ngh…”
Endless speculation wouldn’t fix anything. Ninym needed to speak with him, but she lacked the resolve. Curious where she might find it, Ninym tossed and turned two or three times before giving up and rolling out of bed.
“I’ll just have to sort it out at work.”
An aide’s duties wouldn’t wait for her troubles. Careless or incomplete work would besmirch her good name, so she’d find a chance to speak with Wein in the meantime. There was still time…probably.
As Ninym dressed, the reflection of her face in the mirror suggested to her that she was being too optimistic.
Sure enough, the situation worsened several days later when a messenger arrived carrying a missive from the Levetia faith. It would set in motion a meeting with the director of the Gospel Bureau, Caldmellia.
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