BECAUSE I’M A MAN
“I heard about what you did, Bell. Peeping on the women’s baths? How come you didn’t invite me?”
Those words from Welf’s mouth made the breath catch in Bell’s throat. It was after Bell had apologized for his transgressions and was on his way back to his tent. Standing behind him was Ouka, his massive arms folded and nodding in agreement.
“Wh-what do you mean, Welf?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m saying we wanted to get a piece of the action, too. Ain’t that right, Ouka?”
“That’s right. Damn, what I wouldn’t give…”
Bell never saw the two men getting along that well, but for once, they seemed to agree. Bell wasn’t sure how to handle it, but all of a sudden, there came a voice from the shadows, and somebody else stepped out.
“It’s nice to see someone around here understands!”
It was Hermes, his face still black and blue from Asfi’s beating.
“Of course we do,” said Welf. “What kind of red-blooded man wouldn’t want to sneak a peek at those beauties?”
“Agreed.”
“Hm-hm. Well said. If I may be so bold, which of the girls is your favorite?”
“For me,” said Ouka, “it has to be that Amazonian girl, Tiona Hyrute. There is not a shred of indecency to be found on her dazzling frame.”
“Urgh, you’re into flatties, are you? I’m more of a mountain climber, and I wouldn’t miss a chance to scale Tione’s twin peaks!”
“I’m awfully fond of little Ms. Mikoto!” chirped Hermes. “The Sword Princess is amazing and all, but I just can’t get enough of that beautiful raven-black hair! A shapely bosom and a tight waist I can fit my fingers around…Not like our Asfi at all! What a truly remarkable specimen only the Far East can produce!!!”
Bell wanted to run. The trio’s conversation was making his cheeks burn, but before he could flee, the other three spun toward him.
“And who might your favorite be, Bell?” Hermes interrogated him. “You like them young, like Hestia and Lilly?”
“Out with it, Bell, and this’ll go a lot easier. Don’t forget to tell us about everything you saw, too.”
“Every. Last. Detail,” added Ouka, lowering his rugged brow.
Bell was overwhelmed, his eyes spinning, when suddenly a voice made him freeze in place.
“I’m not sensing a great deal of shame over what you’ve done, Lord Hermes.”
Upon hearing it, the other three went stiff as boards. The source of the ice-cold voice was none other than Hermes’s follower, Asfi Al Andromeda.
“I’m sorry,” she screamed, “that I’m just a fat, chubby pig who’s not worth your time!!”
“I didn’t say anything like—AAAAAAGHHH?!!”
Deserting the god to his fate, Bell, Welf, and Ouka decided to hoof it. However, they ran directly into Hestia and the others, who proceeded to give them the beating of a lifetime.
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