WORDS OF THE WIND
“Ms. Aiz…what is it like down on the deep floors?”
It was a casual question. But it was something that had been on my mind for a while.
My training with Aiz had taught me just how far I still had to go to catch up with her, and that scared me. But it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as doing nothing at all. And so, even though I knew that knowledge alone wouldn’t close the gap, I had to ask.
Atop the city walls, surrounded by the bright blue sky, Aiz turned to my worn-out self and considered it.
“What is it like?” she said. “Scary…I guess… I think that was the first time I ever saw the Dungeon and monsters that way.”
“Scary?”
“Yeah.”
Looking back on it now, I think Aiz found it difficult to choose her words. But she did it for me. Her clear eyes peered deep into mine.
“I can tell you…but you won’t understand. Not until you go there yourself…”
“………”
“And…when you do…when that day eventually comes…you need to remember something.”
I remember.
I remember how the wind blew just then. How it scattered her radiant hair. For so long, I had locked that memory away, never to be seen. Now I remember how it went.
“You need hope.”
“Hope?”
I wasn’t sure what she meant when she suddenly introduced such an abstract concept. Luckily, Aiz helpfully provided an example.
“Yes. Think about what you’ll do when you get back, about eating Jyaga Maru Kun or something. Anything’s fine as long as you have something to hold on to. Because the monsters down there…the darkness…It’s too much for us otherwise.”
“………”
“And when it starts to consume you, it won’t be your spells or your skills that will save you. It’ll be hope. The courage to never give up.”
“The courage…”
“Well, that’s what Finn and everyone else taught me…”
Aiz turned her gaze away and muttered to herself. Her cheeks flushed slightly, and I returned an awkward smile.
“But…I felt it too,” she said. “Down there, anger isn’t enough. Only something good can lift you out of the depths.”
Aiz looked up to the sky as if remembering something that transpired long ago. She smiled as if treasuring the sky spreading out before her. It was like she was giving thanks.
Aiz taught me that to overcome the deep floors, you need something, anything to light the flame of hope. Because the only thing that could cut a path through the darkness…was either the fires of one’s own heart or the proud bonds of friendship.
“If we went down to the deep floors together,” she said, “I think you would be my hope, Bell.”
“Wh-what?!”
“You cheer me up…and whenever you talk or do something reckless, it makes me think I need to work harder for the both of us.”
Aiz elevated my spirits and crushed them in a single breath.
Seeing how crestfallen that made me, she hugged her knees, tilted her head, and smiled. I don’t think that meant she was playing mind games with me. The look in her eyes was kind and gentle.
And I don’t think she meant for that look to warm my heart the way it did, either.
I know this is silly, but seeing that smile made me really happy.
I want to see that smile again.
Is it okay if I make that my hope, Ms. Aiz?
“………”
I open my eyes, transporting me from a wind-wrapped memory to a place of interminable gloom.
“Mr. Cranell, are you okay?”
“Ms. Lyu…I’m fine. What about the monsters?”
“I don’t sense any nearby.”
We speak hushed words in an enclosed space too small to be called a room. It’s nothing more than an alcove in the wall. As we huddle in it, our shoulders pressed together, Lyu’s voice brings me back to the real world.
We’re on the thirty-seventh floor. We’ve just finished taking our third short break. Those five minutes of sleep were nothing more than a drop in the ocean of our exhaustion. My arms and legs feel just as heavy as before, but my mind is a little clearer.
I can fight.
I can press on through the darkness.
Thank you…Ms. Aiz.
I had a dream. I remember what she said, the words I couldn’t recall before.
That was very important because those words are precisely what I need right now.
I need hope. The courage to never give up.
I want to go home. See Goddess. Be with my friends. Talk to Syr and everyone at The Benevolent Mistress. Bring Lyu back to them.
And last but not least, I want to see that smile again.
I have many hopes. I must scrape them together and make of them a light to cut through the darkness.
“Let us move on, Mr. Cranell. I shall keep watch. Preserve your strength, for we shall undoubtedly need it soon.”
I help Lyu to her feet, and the two of us set off. Her head on my shoulder, our breaths mingled together, we press on through the darkness.
As we do, I think about what they both told me.
When Lyu speaks, she speaks of hope.
Her faded justice gives me courage.
What Aiz taught me…
…and what Lyu is trying to show me…
…I think they’re both the same thing.
We’ll find our way back home…together.
I may have lost a lot, but I haven’t lost hope.
I’ll always hold on to it, whatever comes our way.
Marking that promise on my heart, I make my way through the deep floors with Lyu at my side.
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