"Oho...? It's like I've been way too forgiving lately, now isn't it?" Choi Yeon-Ha grinned suspiciously.
"...!" Kang Jin-Ho clamped his mouth after her subtle grin began pressuring him.
"I'll probably never go back even if I'm forced to," Choi Yeon-Ha animatedly shook her head. "Being a global superstar and whatnot sounds nice, but me? I think I'll forever be a Korean at heart. Getting famous would be nice, but I never knew being away from Korea would be this tough on me!"
"Could it be because you were in the remote rural backwoods?"
"I don't think it was. We took a different route on our way home, but the story didn't change for me. Actually? I did get a similar feeling when I was in the States, trying to break into Hollywood some time ago. Back then, I figured I was just not used to traveling overseas, but I guess that wasn't it." Choi Yeon-Ha casually shrugged. "When I thought about it... It was way too obvious, you know?"
Kang Jin-Ho tilted his head. "Sorry?"
"It's like, I was wearing something that didn't fit me."
Choi Yeon-Ha sounded refreshed while saying that. Although the contents of her confession didn't sound positive, her attitude indicated she didn't feel bummed out by them.
"There's that thing, right? I mean, uhm, the path you gotta go through if you want to become successful?"
Kang Jin-Ho cocked an eyebrow but still nodded away. "Yes, there is."
"If it's an actor, you work as an extra for a bit until you catch the eye of some director, then move up the ladder to a supporting character. If you are a genetic lottery winner or just a kick-ass at acting, your status gets upgraded to the leading role. And then... You can guess what comes next, right? You debut as a protagonist in shows and movies and get offers for a ton of commercials."
Choi Yeon-Ha explained while scooping out another portion of kimchi stew for herself.Nôv(el)B\jnn
"And then? You naturally gravitate toward being an actor's actor or just being a pretty face to put on promos. Those aren't the only ways to get famous, but... The real problem comes afterward. Once you're as famous as you can get in South Korea, the only way to go from there is abroad, you see? I'm sure you've noticed how people who make it overseas are treated like national treasures in Korea. You know, like Hallyu stars?"
Choi Yeon-Ha suddenly covered her mouth and began laughing as if what she said was humorous to her, too.
"I thought I gotta follow those people's steps, you see? The overall safest bet is to go through Japan first, but their film industry isn't all that, so for actors like me? It might as well be China. If things go well there, it's gonna raise my international profile, and maybe even Hollywood might get interested in casting me. So, I figured, let's go for it! But the thing is..."
Choi Yeon-Ha stopped moving her utensils and stared intently at Kang Jin-Ho.
"Tell me, Mister Jin-Ho. Between being a great actor or a popular actor, which one do you think is worth more?"
That was a question Kang Jin-Ho could not answer. Only Choi Yeon-Ha was qualified for that. She most likely knew this already and didn't expect a clear-cut reply from him, to begin with.
"I guess I'm much shallower than I thought," Choi Yeon-Ha muttered quietly.
"You don't look that way to me, though?"
"I mean, you know... Do you remember what I said while leaving for China? That I wanted to be your equal? That I won't be an embarrassment to you?"
"...I never thought of you that way, Miss Yeon-Ha."
"And I told you that it's kinda like an inferiority complex."
"Yes, you did."
Choi Yeon-Ha tapped on her rice bowl with her spoon. Although it was difficult to say this out loud, she knew she had to say it.
"It was so weird, you know? When people realize they lack something, they usually think about how to fill that void, right? But the first thing I did was worry about how to become even more successful. It took me so long to figure out that can't be normal."
"Mm..." Kang Jin-Ho briefly nodded. He thought he could understand what Choi Yeon-Ha meant.
"Of course, I'm not saying I regret my decision. I wouldn't have realized all this if I hadn't experienced filming in China, after all. I chose this path. The path I wished to tread. So, I really, really tried my best, you know? Don't you think I deserve some praise for that? Ng?"
Choi Yeon-Ha openly stared at Kang Jin-Ho. And he responded to this silent pressure by making a weird expression. "Miss Yeon-Ha, you did well over there."
"Eii... That feels so forced!" Choi Yeon-Ha laughed as if that reaction didn't meet her expectations. "Anyways... Yes, it's something like that. I got plenty of time to reflect on myself, and that's how I figured out that all this time, I was measuring my success with the level of my wealth and popularity. And that also exposed how shallow I am."
A gentle smile formed on Kang Jin-Ho's face as he listened. Watching a person grow as a human being was one of the most fulfilling things in the world. Especially more so when that person was a close acquaintance!
Kang Jin-Ho sat forward a little and asked a question. "In short, you wish to distance yourself from materialistic things like that? Is that it?"
Choi Yeon-Ha smirked. "Nope, not really?"
"...?" Kang Jin-Ho blinked his eyes in confusion as his attempt to turn the conversation in a more heartwarming direction was thwarted even before it got going. What did she even mean by that? "Miss Yeon-Ha? What are you talking about?"
"I told you. I figured out how shallow I am."
"Y-yes, you did. But, uh...?"
Choi Yeon-Ha lightly waved her hands after figuring out what the misunderstanding was. "Ah, wait. Since I figured out how shallow I am, you thought I'd try to turn a new leaf? Is that it? That I get to become a better person? By doing meditation and yoga? Or Pilates?"
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