Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter 4.6

6 

Six hours after departing the hideout. 

We’ve finally arrived at the ruins, which are actually just a stone’s throw from our base. 

“We’re finally here, Patrasche. Even if you see something moving, don’t put it into your mouth, okay?” 

“I’d appreciate it if you don’t go wandering off every time something catches your eye, Lady Lilith. These woods are full of dangerous critters.” 

The main reason it’s taken us so long to get here is these two: 

Rose, who tries to down anything that looks remotely edible, and Lilith, who can’t resist pocketing anything remotely peculiar. 

Because these two have taken their sweet time, the sun’s already dipping under the horizon. 

“What are we gonna do now, Lady Lilith? The plan was to wander over, go inside, and do a little surveying, but it’ll be a chore getting back to the hideout at this time of day.” 

I warily look around and provide a word of warning to Lilith and Rose, who are sitting at the entrance to the ruins, seemingly worn out from all their earlier excitement. 

“It’d be a hassle to go home now and come back later. Why don’t we just stay for the night and survey the ruins in the morning? With me here, we won’t have to worry about the monsters, at least.” 

Lilith has a smile on her face, but this is the sort of situation where it’s dangerous to count on this boss. 

“Why don’t we take a quick look around inside first, just in case? Right now, the only future I’m imagining is you letting your guard down and throwing a tantrum after some dangerous creature attacks you.” 

“…I hate it when you say stuff like that. You have a weird way of predicting these things… I wanted to rest, but fine, let’s take care of one last errand, Patrasche.” 

“Understood, Lady Lilith. Leave surveying these ruins to me. My memories of Grandpa include playing in a place like this!” 

Rose has occasionally said odd things like this while warming up to Lilith. Soon, we set foot inside the ruins the giant lizard had been guarding just the other day. 

For some reason, the interior is well lit, but thanks to the depth charge Lilith used when fighting the giant lizard, it’s also a disaster zone. 

“…I heard a giant lizard was guarding this place, but it looks like it didn’t do its job very well.” 

Rose makes her oblivious comment, and Lilith shoots me a glance, warning me to stay quiet. 

“Oh, the reason things are a mess in here is because of a weapon Lady Lilith used. The lizard was actually doing a good job.” 

“Hey! Traitor!” 

Unlike last time when we only glanced inside, Lilith is closely examining the ruins, and something seems to have taken her aback. 

“…Hey, Six, didn’t you say you searched through another ruin? Were the walls there made of the same material?” 

Lilith’s expression is, for once, that of a researcher. She squints as she runs her hands along the walls. 

“Do you really think I’d remember something like that? …Oh, but Snow was trying to carve out pieces of the walls and the wreckage to take home. She was going on about how, since we didn’t find any treasure, at the very least, she was gonna sell the scrap.” 

“I—I see. You know, if she’s willing to go that far, I’m actually kind of impressed at Snow’s dedication to money. Greed is one thing, but that’s a higher level of commitment than I was expecting. She definitely feels like the sort who’d stop at nothing to get cash.” 

That’s true. She’s the sort who’d sell her body if she could still ride a unicorn after. 

…Lilith tilts her head in confusion as she feels the wall. 

“Hmm…the numbers just don’t add up…” 

Rose and I exchange glances at this. 

“What is it, Lady Lilith? As long as it’s within two digits, I won’t screw up adding or subtracting. Since I’m your assistant today, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” 

“And I can count up to twenty-one using my fingers, toes, and tail.” 

“Right. I appreciate the thought. Thank you. But let me be absolutely clear that while we’re on assignment, you two need to stick with someone else who can handle the thinking.” 

After making that weird comment, Lilith resumes muttering to herself. 

“The tank that was discarded in the Grace Kingdom had clearly deteriorated from age. But the walls of these ruins show no signs of rust or wear, even though they’re clearly metal. If they have this sort of technology, why not use it on a tank? Sure, there’s the possibility this metal is too heavy or otherwise unsuited for the entire frame, but…even then, they’d at least coat the surface with it…” 

As Lilith loses herself in her thoughts… 

“Hey, Rose, looks like this is gonna take a while, so let’s play some tic-tac-toe. It’s a game where the one who lines up five O ’s or X ’s wins. Let’s say we’re betting on tonight’s dinner.” 

“Yes, I accept! I love that we’re betting food instead of money.” 

…Oh! 

“Just so we’re clear, it’s for ONE meal, okay? And it’s not all-you-can-eat. If I win, it’s not like I’ll eat that much, but you always randomly eat enough for ten people!” 

“Boss, you’re the boss, so don’t be so stingy. I think generous bosses are the coolest bosses!” 

“…Savages who use mysterious energy weapons, a robotic cannon disguised to look like a giant lizard—why do they try to hide traces of advanced technology on this planet? On the other hand, they just leave cheap combat vehicles out in the open. It’s almost like they’re intentionally placed there as a distraction…” 

Thirty minutes later. 

Having spent the entire time deep in thought, Lilith looks up as though she’s come to a realization. 

“Combat Agent Six! There’s an important question I need to ask you. In the other ruins you checked, were there any human remains?! The place where you said the giant robot was stored—was the robot the only thing you found?!” 

“Like I keep telling you, child of morons, learn the rules! You can only draw once during your turn, and you can’t erase and move your X on another turn!” 

“Then how about having my X and Boss’s O switch places? Otherwise, this isn’t fair! It feels like you have the advantage just by going first, Boss!” 

“Fine, we can start over with you going first! I mean, it’s like you’ve never played games before!” 

Lilith’s brow twitches as she sees us arguing over our tic-tac-toe game. 

“What are you two doing in the middle of an important mission?! If you want to play a game, I’ll buy you Othello, and you can play to your heart’s content after we’re done.” 

“I’ll take that Othello, but we’ve gotta finish this tic-tac-toe game first. She just won’t learn the rules.” 

“Grandpa used to say that if humans are creatures that live within the rules, then you, a creature made to destroy humanity, need not follow rules.” 

Oh, the fact that dinner’s on the line is causing her to completely abandon any semblance of restraint. 

“Quoting your grandpa whenever it’s convenient, huh? There’s no way he said that!” 

“H-he probably said it! I mean, it’s the sort of thing he’d say!” 

“I just made a huge discovery. Would you two pipe down a bit? If you keep arguing, you’ll get the tentacles!” 

After yelling at us, Lilith resumes scrutinizing the ruins. 

“…Yeah, that’s gotta be it! This place has been abandoned a long time, but the lights still work. And they’re electric…” 

Despite being a bit turned off by Lilith’s enthusiasm, I glance at the lights. 

“The glass balls are floating. What is this? There a fairy inside or something?” 

“No! Well, I don’t know what those fairy creatures are, either, but…this appears to be using ambient electrical fields for power. And it floats because it’s either using a material that negates gravity or employing some sort of antigravity technology.” 

I have no idea what Lilith is talking about, but I nod seriously. 

“So it’s lit with mystery power and floats using mystery power, right?” 

“Not even close!” 

I don’t understand this complex stuff, but I do notice something. 

“Why even go to this trouble? Why not just plug it into an outlet? In the other ruins, the lighting was embedded in the walls.” 

“That’s exactly it! There must be some reason for this. For example…Patrasche, are there a lot of earthquakes around these parts?” 

“Huh? Earth…quakes? I’ve heard they used to happen pretty frequently, but they stopped over the past few decades. Apparently, it was after the Sand King left the area.” 

Lilith nods as if the pieces are starting to click into place. 

She seems to be looking at something far off in the distance, as though she’s achieved some sort of enlightenment. 

“The Sand King is the giant mole that was in the reports, right? So why did the mole leave the Great Woods, where food was abundant? Could it be there was a monster that actually posed a threat to it? …For example, the giant lizard I defeated? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! …Six, there are so many things you can learn from just one floating light source. Do you understand the situation?” 

Lilith’s eyes go from staring into the distance to slowly losing interest. She ends up asking a question almost disinterestedly… 

“No, not at all.” 

“I don’t understand it at all, either!” 

“Fine. Never mind, then. It’s my fault for asking you two in the first place. Alice! Aliiiice! Dammit. No Alice when I actually need to talk to her! What to do, what to do? Guess we cut the survey short and temporarily withdraw all our Combat Agents back to Earth…” 

Lilith begins talking to herself again, and just as I completely lose track of what she’s saying… 

…I hear a deep, rumbling cry coming from the depths of the ruins. 

“……Six, I’m going back to the hideout. Go have a look around the lower levels.” 

“No way. This has gotta be one of those times when the person who checks winds up dead.” 

I try to assess the current situation based on Lilith’s behavior. 

This is a scenario that shows up in manga and stuff where, after a terrible secret is uncovered, the true villain arrives to silence the hapless discoverer. 

Likely reaching the same conclusion I have, Lilith begins looking around nervously. 

“Hey, Six, why don’t we head back to Earth? I feel like this planet’s got too many potential problems. Between an angel—a being connected to the very creation of the universe—appearing at random and extremely advanced tech being hidden underground, I think we’re in over our heads. Here’s what’s going to happen. We didn’t find anything on this expedition. After we leave, we just bury the entrance to these ruins.” 

“What are you talking about, Lady Lilith? I mean, I’m an idiot, so I don’t know the specifics, but even I can tell this is one hell of a find. I’m all for heading back to the hideout, but if we bury this, Lady Astaroth’s gonna tear us a new one for sure.” 

I figured Lilith would be thrilled finding new technology, but something’s wrong with her today. 

“I would be fine if the worst thing that happened was us getting chewed out by Astaroth. Let me explain this in a way even a meathead like you can understand. The folks who built these ruins decided to make floating light sources for the ridiculous reason that ‘it’d be inconvenient to lose light during an earthquake.’ There’s tech on Earth that lets you power appliances with electromagnetic fields in lieu of power cords, but that’s still years away from practical use. We’ve also got nothing that can make this sort of thing float for decades, maybe even centuries. Do you get it now? Whatever lived here had technology more advanced than anything humanity has ever developed.” 

Lilith explains her concerns with a deathly serious expression. 

“And? That really doesn’t make this any easier for me to get a handle on. I mean, Lady Lilith, you’ve got lots of advanced tech, but without your tentacles, a random stray cat can make you cry.” 

“Sh-shut up. We’re not talking about me right now! The gap in technology is the gap in power between species. We’re going to run into trouble if the country we invade ends up being stronger than us.” 

Lilith is clearly not having my attitude, going as far as to deploy a single tentacle to slap me on the cheek. 

Sure, the whole reason I was sent to this planet as a spy was to determine the locals’ level of advancement. 

So to some extent, I can understand what Lilith’s saying, but… 

Right at that moment— 

“Huh? What’s that? Something weird just grew out of Lady Lilith!” 

Seeing the tentacle emerge from Lilith’s lab coat, Rose lets out a yelp of surprise. 

“…Oh, um, sorry about that, Patrasche, but I’m busy trying to explain something important to Six…” 

As Lilith says this, looking like she’s at a loss on how to respond… 

“I remember seeing those wiggly silver things back when I was a kid!” 

…… 

“You know, I’ve wanted to ask this for a while, but I’ve been restraining myself. Patrasche, just who the hell are you?” 

Lilith’s tone is as quiet as her expression is serious. 

“I’m Patrasche, the Mounting Gorilla.” 

“Okay, I got that. Can we put that weird role-play aside for a minute? Tell me who you really are!” 

Having had her introduction interrupted, Patrasche just removes the fursuit head with a soft plomp . 

“Okay then, to properly reintroduce myself… I’m the boss’s subordinate and Chimera, Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Lilith!” 

Seeing Rose emerge from the fursuit, Lilith stares with her mouth agape. 

“…Wait, hold on. Just wait. Six, isn’t Rose the…?” 

“I did include her in my report, you know. She’s the one who can get stronger by taking on the properties of whatever she eats—a future mutant candidate and current Combat Agent Recruit, Rose.” 

Our explanation has Lilith cradling her head and squatting on the floor. 

“Wait, what the hell is going on?! I really don’t understand this at all! None of it! If this Rose is the Chimera, then who was the one who showed me his junk?” 

Oh, that’s what she doesn’t get. 

Lilith thought Russell was the Chimera I mentioned in my reports. 

“Are you serious, Lady Lilith? My reports were pretty clear that Rose is a girl.” 

“Well, sure, that’s what they said! But still!” 

Rose looks puzzled as the conversation leaves her far behind. 

“Just to verify. Miss Chimera, do you have a penis?” 

“Uh, I’m sorry, Lady Lilith. Until a few seconds ago, you reminded me a lot of my grandpa, but can I please take that back?” 

Lilith hurriedly shakes her head in response to Rose’s complete rejection of her. 

“Wait, hang on. Listen, will you, Miss Chimera? I have a good reason for asking…” 

“Russell showed off his junk to Lady Lilith while he was dressed in women’s clothing, so she thought sex and gender were trivial matters for Chimeras.” 

“I have a hard time thinking of Russell as a fellow Chimera…” 

“So Patrasche is Rose, as well as the Chimera from the reports. And you were raised in a facility like this one when you were a kid…and you’ve seen super-mechanical things that look like my tentacles.” 

“Yes, that about sums it up.” 

Lilith finally understands after Rose and I explain. 

“I wish you would’ve just introduced yourself as Rose to begin with. That way, I wouldn’t have gotten all confused… I mean, what sort of weird name is Patrasche…?” 

Seemingly exhausted from the recent exchange, Lilith slumps her shoulders with a sigh. 

“It’s not exactly persuasive when we try telling people not to use false names. After all, Lady Lilith, your real surname is Yasuda.” 

“D-don’t mention ‘Yasuda’! You know you’re forbidden from calling people by their real names once you join Kisaragi! But either way, we’re getting out of here! Now! Whatever made that groaning noise might be headed our way!” 

I don’t know when that rule was implemented, but Yasuda barks out orders, her face turning a bright shade of red. 

As Lilith blushes at being addressed by her actual name, someone tugs at her lab coat. 

Rose, looking really odd without her fursuit head, stares straight at the little scientist. 

“Lady Lilith, I think I might know this place. The voice we’re hearing doesn’t actually belong to anything scary.” 

She can’t tell how she could know such a thing. 

At least, that’s what her expression suggests. 

“Lady Lilith and Boss, you can return and wait at the hideout. I’ll go check deeper in,” offers Rose, smiling shyly to reassure us.