Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy - Chapter 380

Chapter 380: I Have Returned (4)

0% It didn’t take long for me to make a decision, perhaps because it was a matter of survival.

I’ll just confess.

There was no choice. Stubbornly holding onto a lie after already being exposed would be like drawing a dotted line around my neck and begging them to rip it open.

It was annoying enough when someone lied when you only had suspicions; denying it when clear evidence was already gathered would probably get me hit with Beatrix’s Thunderbolt at point-blank range. That’d be even worse than fighting Dorgon. At least I could fight back against him.

This might be my last chance—the last chance to confess voluntarily and avoid having my soul shredded.

It’s still okay.

Right. There was still time. Although I’d kept quiet about fighting and getting hurt when we communicated via the communication crystal earlier, this was our first time meeting face-to-face.

I could somehow survive if I said I wanted to tell them about such important matters in person, not through a communication crystal. Logically, there were some flaws, but it was within an acceptable range.

“Let’s stay like this a little longer. We can go to the club room when it’s time.”

My mouth moved smoothly despite my panicked thoughts. Regardless of the pressure I felt, it was true that I’d missed Mar and Beatrix after a long time.

I’d better tell Elizabeth and Penelia to meet us in Mar’s office later. I would’ve brought them along from the start if I’d known this would happen.

“Um, Carl, can I go to the club room today, too?”

As I patted their backs, Mar cautiously spoke. It seemed like she wanted to be together all day today.

Even though my survival instinct was kicking in, the heartwarming request made me smile involuntarily. I would have happily accepted even if this was a notification and not a request.

“Of course. I’d love to spend the entire day together.”

“Thank you.”

Seeing Mar’s beaming smile made me even more pleased. She really was the treasure her father had proudly boasted about.

“I’m fine with nighttime too, so I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”

Seeing that smile, I unconsciously added something mischievous. Who could resist after seeing that sweet expression?

“Wh-what?”

Caught completely off guard, Mar stammered blankly, her face quickly matching the color of her red hair. The shock was greater than I thought.

It was satisfying. The Mar I knew hadn’t changed—she was still hopeless at handling surprises.

“If it’s uncomfortable for you to come over, I could always visit your room instea—“

“N-no! It’s okay! It’s not uncomfortable, but— that kind of thing... we should do it later!”

Even Beatrix let out a small laugh at Mar’s flustered and strange refusal. Saying ‘later,’ huh? She must harbor at least a small desire in her heart.

“Then baby, is it alright if I come visit you tonight?”

“Of cour—“

“No!”

Mar’s interruption of what was clearly a joke made me laugh again. It felt good. Laughing like this finally made it feel like the war was truly behind us.

...It was fun, but thinking that this might be the last happiness I enjoyed before confessing the truth made me want to cry.

***Calming down a slightly sulky Mar wasn’t easy. As a noble lady, Mar probably hadn’t experienced much teasing, so it was understandable that she’d react this way, especially considering the teasing came right after finally reuniting with her lover.

I don’t think teasing someone was a good thing, but I don’t regret it, either. If I went back in time, I would still tease her just to see that cute reaction.

“I’m sorry, Mar. I was so happy to see you that I wanted to talk with you for as long as possible.”

“There were many other topics we could have discussed...”

“I meant it when I said I want to stay with you all day.”

At those words, Mar, who was sitting on my lap, quietly lowered her gaze. Despite being teased, she seemed quite happy with hearing me say outright that I wanted to be with her. After all, I’d rarely spoken my feelings this directly before.

Thinking back, my past self had been terribly neglectful. Even if I had my reasons, I rarely expressed my affection—far too rarely for a proper lover.

“And since we’ll officially become husband and wife in a few months, I wanted to practice staying in the same room.”

After a moment’s hesitation, I whispered in Mar’s ear. I could simply make up for twice as much in the future whatever affection I’d failed to express until now. Even if others cringed at our sweetness, it wouldn’t matter as long as it made them happy.

“Th-that doesn’t need practice...”

Mar replied quietly, her shoulders trembling slightly. But her voice sounded brighter now, as if mentioning marriage had helped dispel her earlier hurt feelings.

I should tell her often from now on.

As I said earlier, with the wedding just a few months away, there will be many opportunities to talk about it.

With our wedding only months away, there’d be plenty of opportunities to mention it again. Since I planned to marry Mar immediately after her graduation, I’d naturally handle most of the preparations myself. Still, certain decisions required the bride’s input, so we’d inevitably have to talk about it often.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

With that promise, I kissed Mar lightly on the forehead.

Of all my lovers, she’d suffered the most emotionally, so I’d ensure her wedding day was perfect—so perfect that even her father would give a standing ovation.

If things got tricky, I could always ask Mother or Nanny for advice. As experienced married women, they should know well about a bride’s wedding fantasies. They could point out details I might miss.

“Carl, wait a moment.”

“Hmm?”

Just as I was vowing never to seek advice from my aunt even if the sky fell, Mar’s lips touched my cheek.

“You’ve been giving so much to me. I wanted to give something back.”

Her face burned with embarrassment, but to me, her words were incredibly touching. While Penelia almost fainted just from a simple kiss, Mar could even counterattack like this.

I feel like crying. Was this the dignity of the first wife?

No, was Penelia just particularly weak?

“I think I need to step out for a moment.”

Ah.

Beatrix interrupted, pouting as Mar and I openly exchanged affection right in front of her.

Indeed, this was a bit much. Even if it was only to comfort Mar, our behavior might’ve seemed unfair.

“That can’t be. We should stay together all day today.”

As I smiled and patted the seat next to me, Beatrix quickly came and sat down.

On my empty lap.

“Um, Beatrix?”

“What is it?”

Seeing Beatrix blush slightly while feigning innocence left me at a loss for words. Clearly, this had taken a lot of courage for her.

“Nothing. You just smell nice.”

So, I changed what I was about to say. It wasn’t right to be unkind to someone who had shown courage. Besides, she really did smell nice.

“R-really? That’s good.”

I wasn’t sure what was good about it, but at least it worked out nicely. Anyway, it was fine as long as she was happy.

Now’s the time.

With Mar and Beatrix seated comfortably on my lap, I was certain of one thing—this warm, affectionate atmosphere would definitely cushion the blow. If I confessed now, maybe I’d only get scolded three times instead of ten.

“Being here with you two, it finally feels like I’ve truly come home. I’m just grateful I managed to return without any serious injuries.”

As I broached the subject first, two pairs of eyes fixed on me. It was a look that seemed to say, ‘We didn’t expect you to bring up that topic first.’

I seriously considered backing out for a moment, but I resisted.

If didn’t do it now, there might never be another chance.

***Things went wrong.

“What exactly is the meaning of this?!”

An angry shout full of fury and tears pierced my ears. My wife’s anger was so intense that even the head maid standing behind her bowed her head, watching the situation carefully.

Things went wrong, terribly wrong. Although it wasn’t something I could hide forever and was planning to tell her when the opportunity arose, my wife discovered through her information network that Carl had participated in the battle.

I underestimated the connections of my wife, who was both the lady of the Krasius family and affiliated with the Wise Duchess.

“I clearly, clearly heard that he wouldn’t participate in battle! That’s how I let him go!”

“W-wife. That—“

My wife glared at me with sharp eyes as I hurriedly opened my mouth. It was a look that seemed to say, ‘How dare you try to make excuses in front of me?’

After staring at me for a while, my wife let out a small sigh and spoke in a voice smaller than before, but filled with even deeper emotion.

“I can understand Carl going into battle. I understand perfectly well why he did it, Billy—it was to save you. In fact, I’m grateful he brought you home safely.”

“Wife...”

“Quiet.”

I was moved by her words expressing relief at my safety and opened my mouth, but I immediately closed it. I was tactless.

Looking at me with even more piercing eyes, my wife muttered weakly.

“It’s natural for a son to fight to save his father. But why did that child stand at the vanguard? Why did he fight the enemy leader directly and even get injured?”

After muttering for a long time as if she couldn’t understand, my wife finally couldn’t hold back her emotions and burst into tears.

I had nothing to say. Just yesterday, she’d been on the verge of joyful tears after hearing that Carl had returned safely. She’d been overjoyed at the thought that Carl and Erich would soon visit our mansion.

Yet now, she was crying—not only from grief at learning her son had been injured without her knowledge but also from betrayal, knowing her husband had hidden it from her.

What on earth can I say?

This was entirely my fault. Carl hiding his injury from his mother could be seen as a son’s heart of not wanting to worry his mother, but me keeping silent would be labeled as a husband hiding matters about their child.

Between a son’s awkward attempt at protecting his mother and a husband’s intentional secrecy, the latter was undoubtedly harder to bear. That was why I couldn’t make excuses or apologize to my wife.

“I’m sorry, wife. I should have told you earlier, but I only kept it hidden because I didn’t want you to be hurt.”

Still, I spoke up. Responding to a mistake caused by silence with more silence would have been unforgivable.

“I understand your worry and sorrow. I am also that child’s father, after all.”

Perhaps because of the shared empathy as Carl’s parents, the resentment on my wife’s face faded a little.

That was a relief. It seemed that she was willing to listen to what I had to say.

“I also wish Carl had stayed somewhere safe. But how could I stop him when he wanted to finish what he couldn’t three years ago, saying he wanted to resolve that grudge himself?”

“Finish...?”

My wife, who had been sobbing, finally spoke.

When Carl’s participation in the war was decided, to persuade my wife who had collapsed crying, Carl told her about what happened in the North. About the sorrow he experienced in the North, and the pain of leaving behind his friends and lover.

She simply hadn’t known that the only way Carl saw to ease that pain was through battle. He had carefully avoided mentioning details about Dorgon or the Rebel when explaining to her.

“That child had someone who was like an enemy and a nemesis to him—someone he wanted to defeat with his own hands.”

At this, my wife quietly lowered her head. If she was as wise as I knew her to be, then that explanation was probably enough for her to grasp the situation.

Her tears still dripped silently onto her hands, but her sobbing gradually quieted. Understanding what Carl had been through eased her resentment and sorrow.

In that state, I carefully added words to my wife. It’d be too cruel to give only negative news to her.

“Still, Carl won splendidly. He defeated the leader and brought victory to the empire. Although he suffered an injury where his arm was cut off, it was perfectly healed—“

“What was cut off?”

...

Huh?

“His arm... was cut off?”

My wife’s aura became fierce again. The head maid behind my wife also covered her mouth with round eyes, as if shocked.

No way... Did she only know he was injured but didn’t know where?

“You hid such an injury from me?”

Damn it.

It was a mistake. I thought she knew everything since she knew about his participation and injury.

As I closed my mouth again, my wife glared at me for a long time before quietly pronouncing her sentence.

“Billy, I don’t think I can forgive you for a while. At least, not until Carl returns home.”

I nodded solemnly at that sentence.

***After being effectively banished by my wife, I returned to our family’s mansion in the capital. My wife might just pack up and move elsewhere if I lingered around our territory.

As soon as I entered the mansion, George, who had been staying here since yesterday, welcomed me.

“Didn’t I tell you? I said you’d end up here soon enough.”

“Shut up.”

Seeing him snicker, I felt the urge to kick him out.