Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy - Chapter 336

Chapter 336: We're Here on a Trip (4)

Although I’d nearly reduced Irina’s mental state to ruins with my careless choice, we could move past it as if nothing happened thanks to her heart being as vast as the sea. I felt sorry for bringing up the sea again, but it was hard not to when it was right in front of us.

That was why I needed to reflect even more. Of all the things I could’ve chosen, why lemonade? I must’ve been subconsciously thinking about that day.

I’m such an idiot.

“Oppa. I think I’m getting motion sickness too.”

“Give me a break. Two is too much.”

Meanwhile, Louise playfully complained after seeing me carrying Irina, but it fortunately ended as just a joke. Instead, she looked worriedly at Irina, who had returned cradled in my arms.

I couldn’t help but feel guilty. What kind of face would Louise make if she knew this wasn’t about seasickness but rather a mental breakdown? I would have to take that secret to my grave.

“O-Oppa. You can put me down now.”

“Let’s wait until we find somewhere to sit. Pushing yourself to walk might make things worse.”

Perhaps feeling the same guilt, Irina asked to be put down first. Of course, I didn’t comply.

My conscience hurts.

After all, I was the one who caused her distress and then decided to pick her up without warning. Putting her down now simply because I was feeling awkward would be too selfish. Staying like this was the only right thing to do.

For a moment, I wondered if coming to the beach was a mistake. But now that we were here, there was no going back. Instead, we should create good memories that would overwrite her bad ones.

“Oh, look, they’re selling squid over there!”

I felt Irina flinch at Louise’s words, which had no ill intent.

...Completely erasing the past might be impossible, but I could at least try my best.

***

We came all the way to the sea, but we couldn’t go into the water because we didn’t prepare swimsuits. Still, just strolling along the sand and taking in the view had its own charm, so it wasn’t too disappointing.

Actually, considering this subtly advanced world, it wouldn’t be strange if there were places nearby renting swimsuits. A quick glance confirmed there were indeed a few such shops—

“But it wouldn’t be proper for a noble to use items shared with commoners. Some nobles see it as a matter of pride, and even the commoners who use them afterward might feel uneasy.”

Seeing Louise gently refuse, I couldn’t push any further. If Louise, who wasn’t particularly fussy or authoritative, reacted like this, then it must be closer to a matter of cultural norm than just a matter of pride.

Moments like this remind me that I’m a possessor. I thought I had adapted pretty well, but I keep getting hit with these differences in norms just when I think I’ve forgotten.

“Of course, some nobles don’t care about such things, as long as the items aren’t shared with others while they’re using them.”

“I guess that’s true.”

Louise smiled gently at me as she noticed my embarrassed expression.

Thanks for comforting me, too...

“Still, it’s a bit disappointing. We came all the way to the sea, but we’re just looking.”

“Were you thinking of going into the water?”

Louise’s giggling words made me unconsciously touch my wound area. The remnants of the past injury hadn’t yet faded, and it still wasn’t fully healed.

I understood. Even if we had swimsuits, I probably would’ve just stayed on the shore.

“Besides, I’d feel bad about enjoying myself too much.”

“Huh?”

I couldn’t help but tilt my head at Irina’s added words.

Guilty? Wasn’t today the time that Marghetta and the Mage Duchess gave up as an apology? What was wrong with enjoying that time?

“Compared to the others, Louise and I feel like we just... showed up. We haven’t known oppa as long, and we don’t have as many memories together...”

Although Irina was trying to smile as she spoke, her dejected expression became more obvious as she continued. Even Louise, standing quietly beside her, lowered her gaze as if she shared the same thoughts.

My heart sank at the sight. I hadn’t realized they were harboring such thoughts, and at the same time, I’d left them to wrestle with these thoughts alone.

Of course, as Irina said, I first met them last year. It was a relatively late encounter compared to the Mage Duchess and the Managers who I met right after the Great Northern War, and Marghetta whom I met two years ago. Naturally, meeting later meant fewer memories together.

But recognizing that they’d met me later didn’t mean they should feel like they deserved less. This wasn’t just about timing; it was a matter of self-worth and equality within our relationships.

I’ve been neglecting them.

I felt complicated. These women were blessings, each agreeing to share their lives with me despite the unconventional circumstances. I promised myself I would treat all six of them equally to ensure none of them felt overlooked. How could I face them if they had no problems between themselves but their future husband caused conflict through carelessness?

I tried to treat everyone as fairly as possible.

Sadly, it seemed like my efforts were nothing more than lip service. I couldn’t even share something as significant as the truth about my injury equally. Louise and Irina’s shock made that clear. Add to that the subtle instances I likely overlooked, and it was no surprise they might’ve started to feel sidelined.

In fact, it was only natural. Being the newest additions to this relationship, Louise and Irina would have needed extra attention and reassurance to feel fully secure. Fairness wasn’t always about equal shares; sometimes, it was about giving more where it was needed. And I hadn’t done enough to bridge the gap between past and present.

No, did I even show fairness in the first place? Had I ever expressed love that would reassure not just Louise and Irina, but all my lovers?

“If we enjoy ourselves too much when they kindly gave up their time—“

Before Irina could finish, I pulled her and Louise into a hug. They were conveniently sitting side by side on a bench, making it easy.

“Eep!”

“O-oppa!?”

They had different reactions to the sudden skinship, but I didn’t mind.

“Don’t think of it as them giving up their time. Today is time we rightfully have because Mar and Beatrix made a mistake.”

Once I knew their true feelings, I couldn’t just sit still. They just said they felt like they’d butted in because they had fewer memories with me, yet they hesitated and feel sorry about creating memories just for us. It was an absurd contradiction, but it also meant that they were that intimidated.

Moreover, they had to understand that today wasn’t some act of benevolence. I thought of it as Marghetta and the Mage Duchess giving up time too, but as an expression of apology while admitting their mistakes. On the other hand, the ‘giving up’ that Louise and Irina were talking about was closer to a favor generously given by a superior.

That wasn’t okay. It was absolutely not okay. Even if the order of wives was determined by the order of marriage, there shouldn’t be a hierarchical relationship among them.

“So let’s have fun, more fun than anyone else. That way, there’s no room for secrets or regrets moving forward.”

“...But oppa hid things too, right?”

At Louise’s somewhat pouty voice, I instinctively closed my mouth.

My real enemy was my past self. That bastard. The karma from my past mistakes kept holding me back every time I tried to say something sensible.

“I noticed some stores selling clothes earlier.”

I stood up while still holding Louise and Irina’s waists after keeping silent for a moment. If I couldn’t win with words, then actions it was.

“I’ll buy you new ones.”

“Eh, what?”

“Um, oppa? Why are you runn—“

With this unilateral announcement, I jumped into the sea. Anything people wore while swimming would be called a swimsuit anyway, right?

I got a light scolding later, but at least they laughed as we splashed around. In the end, that was all that mattered.

***

I ordered the Executive Manager to submit a report on the World Tree incident last night, and the report came in early morning today. Judging by the time, it seemed that he wrote it before going to bed and sent it right away.

I might’ve thought he wrote it quickly out of laziness if it were any other report, but I understood because quick reporting was crucial for this incident. I would’ve been furious if he had taken days or weeks to explain in detail.

Of course, just because he sent it quickly didn’t mean I wasn’t frustrated.

This is maddening.

The report was the first thing I checked out of habit after waking up, and I had to close my eyes again upon reading it. I thought I might be seeing things due to fatigue.

Of course, it wasn’t an illusion. It was just that the content was utterly incomprehensible to any normal thought process and knowledge.

“Your Highness. Are you alright? You don’t look well this morning.”

“I just have something important on my mind. I’m not tired, so don’t worry.”

The shock I received in the morning lasted until lunchtime. Even the Crown Princess who was dining with me asked worriedly, so I could only imagine how I looked even without seeing a mirror.

Seriously.

I smiled and answered the Crown Princess, but my mind was a complete mess.

...During the Great Northern War, the wound inflicted by the Rebel was imbued with the energy of the Eternal Blue Sky, the god of nomads. This energy was a massive fragment that included the god’s will. Brief communication with it was made possible through contact with fairies that had survived until now, and it was transferred to a tree under the Elven Elder’s care... That tree has now become the World Tree.

The report only stated the necessary information, but at the same time, it was utterly baffling.

A god and its energy being imbued in the Executive Manager? Communicating with said energy and moving it to a tree? And then, the World Tree’s resurrection?

I couldn’t understand what on earth this meant. It wasn’t the feeling of hearing a half-baked excuse, but truly the feeling when common sense refused to understand.

A god, suddenly?

The confusion was overwhelming. Most gods had fallen silent after the religious wars, and Apels’ brutal suppression of non-human races had severed any remaining ties to divinity. With the eradication of Twilight Cult’s followers, only Enen remained as the sole deity on this continent.

Now, out of nowhere, another god’s power had supposedly restored the World Tree. How was I supposed to process this? Should I even believe it?

Of course, gods were beings that couldn’t be understood by human common sense. If I had to choose between two possibilities—this being a divine prank or the Executive Manager submitting a fraudulent report—I’d lean toward the former. But—

“If the order of marriage determines who is first, then everyone becomes first if I marry them at the same time.”

...

Hmm.

Come to think of it, he had already shown signs of madness before. Perhaps the latter scenario wasn’t so unlikely after all.

I need to report this to the Emperor as well.

My head throbbed even more. Any matter involving non-human races required reporting to the Emperor. It wouldn’t make sense for the Emperor of Kefellofen, the ally of other races, to be unaware of the World Tree’s resurrection.

But how was I supposed to explain it to him if even I found it difficult to understand?

...Fortunately, it’s not something he’ll consider a problem.

The Emperor was relatively lenient towards the Imperial Counts and merciful to wounded veterans who had dedicated themselves to the empire. The Executive Manager fell into both categories, so he wouldn’t look at him badly.

Besides, the outcome was undeniably beneficial to the Empire and the imperial family. Even if the process made no sense, the results spoke for themselves. The Emperor would probably just nod after some thinking and let it pass.

Yes, so I should report it as is. If the Emperor expressed doubt, then I’d grill the Executive Manager at that time.

There’s no need to summon him specifically.

The anniversary of the end of the Great Northern War was coming up soon. The Executive Manager would come to the capital for the memorial service then.

There was no need to waste resources in summoning someone who’d be here anyway.

***

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