Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy - Chapter 221

Chapter 221: A Day to Remember (5)

I think I bought a cursed ring. Not a magical one, but a cursed one.

I couldn't help but wonder if buying this strange thing made Marghetta cry. If it wasn’t for this, then I couldn't understand why she was suddenly sobbing.

Help?

The most confusing part was her saying she wanted to help more.

I already felt grateful to her for just being by my side. How could she possibly help me more?

My head was spinning, but I had to say something. Silence wouldn't be helpful right now; it would only make things worse for Marghetta.

"Mar, you are already helping me more than anyone else."

"Liar."

She shook her head firmly at my sincere words, managing to speak while still sobbing.

"Then why did you go to the capital without telling me? Why were you alone at the cemetery?"

Seeing her trembling eyes, I almost sighed.

Why did I go to the capital? The Crown Prince invited me for a meal. I went casually because I thought I'd be back the same day.

Of course, crawling on all fours in the cemetery wasn't part of the plan. Who would've expected that I would receive a confession from the 1st Manager?

How do I even explain that?

Four years as a civil servant had taught me when to put on a brave face when I needed to, but there were limits.

How could I tell a confused Marghetta that I needed a break because a subordinate confessed their love to me? That wasn’t something you said out loud unless you were crazy.

Besides, I didn't expect the news to spread so quickly. I got caught before I could come up with a cover story.

"Is it... Is it because I couldn’t be a support for you, Carl?"

Her head drooped, and her pitiful mumbling almost made me sigh again.

It wasn’t that she wasn't supportive. I just didn't want to burden her, so I kept it to myself, thinking that I could handle it alone. Plus, it was an embarrassing story.

I didn't realize that my choice would hurt Marghetta.

"I want to help you, Carl. I want to see your pain and your wounds."

"Mar."

I opened my mouth to comfort her, but my voice made her shrink further.

"...I'm sorry. I was being selfish, wasn't I?"

She lifted her head cautiously, forcing a smile.

"If you have reasons for not telling me, I should respect that. I said I'd wait, but now I'm..."

She wiped away her tears and tried to smile naturally. But, could that even be called a natural smile?

"I'm sorry for saying such nonsense. Just... just forget it."

I couldn't respond.

I understood how things got to this point; small misunderstandings piled up and finally exploded.

When I confided in Marghetta during the holidays, it wasn't even a proper confession. The truth was too grim and heavy, so I kept it brief.

That choice led us here. I thought I was being considerate by not saying everything, but Marghetta grew anxious from not knowing.

"Is it... Is it because I couldn’t be a support for you, Carl?"

Damn it.

I've heard that phrase before from myself many, many times.

I told myself that when the person I loved didn't seem to trust me, when they didn't tell me anything and I was left to fend for myself.

I had felt the same way about Hecate. I resented her for leaving and thinking she couldn’t rely on me.

A sigh slipped out. On the surface, this incident seemed caused by the 1st Manager's confession and my night at the cemetery. But in truth, it was really caused by the gap between Marghetta and me.

I quietly hugged Marghetta, who started to look wary because of my sigh.

"Ca-Carl?"

She sounded startled, but I said nothing and took her to the bed.

What I needed to say was heavy and dull. If so, she should at least be comfortable.

"Mar."

"No, they're not."

Marghetta gently touched my scars.

"Not at all. They're not hideous at all."

"Is that so?"

I appreciated it even if it were just kind words. Of course, who would say, ‘Yes, they're really ugly,’ in this situation?

As Marghetta continued to touch my scars, she began to cry again.

"I didn't know you were such a crybaby, Mar."

"S-sorry. I just couldn't help it."

Marghetta hastily wiped her tears at my teasing, but tears were hard to stop once they started.

This was making me feel bad. I expected that she’d be shocked, and that was why I decided to tell her. I couldn't live with secrets just because I was afraid of the pain.

However, expecting it and seeing it were two different things. Knowing my scars made someone cry didn't sit well with me.

"...I wasn't good enough."

Marghetta softly burrowed into my embrace and spoke quietly after a moment.

"I was arrogant to think I knew you without understanding this, and now that I do, I can't handle it alone."

"It's not about handling it alone. We're supposed to bear it together."

She was feeling way too much guilt. If she was to be blamed for something, then it was simply because she didn’t know anything about it.

"So, does that mean we haven't been bearing it together until now?"

Wait, was that how she saw it?

"I'm sorry. Instead of helping, I've just been a burden..."

"Mar..."

It hurt to see her self-esteem hit rock bottom.

Did I say too much at once?

Maybe I should've broken it down more. Marghetta’s current state wasn’t good.

I told her about losing Hecate, and she felt guilty for not being able to heal that pain.

I also told her about going to the cemetery after the 1st Manager's confession, but she instead felt that she hadn’t been reliable enough.

I have to do it now.

My instincts warned me. I couldn't wait until two days later. If I didn't comfort Marghetta right now, then there might be no future for us.

Not now because it’d be more meaningful on her birthday? There was no point if the birthday girl disappeared.

"Mar. Excuse me."

I moved swiftly. I took out the ring case, grabbed Marghetta's left hand, and slid the ring onto her fourth finger without hesitation.

"You are not a burden, Mar. You're an important part of my life."

I put the ring on her so quickly that Marghetta just blinked in shock.

"I’m sorry for giving it right now. I wanted to give it to you on your birthday, when you were at your happiest."

I knew that this wasn't a romantic situation.

"But I couldn't help myself when I heard you calling yourself a burden."

There was no room for romance right now.

"So don't say such things, Mar. You are my partner and the person who will be my first wife, aren't you?"

I planned to go to Marghetta’s father, the Iron-blooded Duke, after the New Year's Ball. I had already promised her, too.

I would bow my head to the Duke, ask him for permission to marry her, and then get engaged. That resolve didn’t change even when the 1st Manager confessed.

With that in mind, I promised Marghetta.

No matter what anyone says, you will be my first wife.

"...No, Carl. This isn't right."

But Marghetta quietly removed the ring with tearful eyes.

_ ...What? Am I /genesisforsaken