༺ Cold in the Midst of Summer (2) ༻
What was that stench?
Namgung Bi-ah had wondered about that ever since she was young.
She wondered why she was the only one able to smell the horrible stench while the others couldn’t.
It felt like she was living in an endless hell.
A life of endless suffering where she couldn’t even comfortably eat, talk, or even sleep.
Is it even possible to escape?
Namgung Bi-ah lived a life constantly enveloped by the thick putrid stench, seemingly lost inside a thick and heavy mist.
But thankfully, even inside the horrible stench that covered her existence, there was one thing that kept her going.
Her sword.
Swinging her sword gave her a sense of freedom.
Because of that, Namgung Bi-ah became obsessed with the sword.
By swinging her sword, she was able to pretend that there was nothing bad around her.
So she swung her sword every day.
Yet every time her training ended, the stench kept coming back , and the stench her spectators emitted became stronger and stronger,
Namgung Bi-ah wondered since the stench went away whenever she swung her sword, would it go away completely if she reached the ideal peak of her swordplay?
As a result, she made it her mission to constantly seek out sword wielders stronger than her, challenging them one by one, while dedicating the rest of her time training herself.
As she grew older, the putrid stench in her home grew stronger as well,
And her aversion to talking to people caused her to become increasingly withdrawn from reality.
The jealousy, greed, and desire of people could all be felt amidst that stench.
Maybe that’s the cause of the stench?
Namgung Bi-ah wasn’t certain about that.
She felt like there was something more to it than just that.
As the days went on, she eventually lost the ability to express her emotions.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled.
Perhaps, the day her mother died and she lost her for all eternity was the day she also lost her smile.
She was getting tired of the stench she could feel, even while blocking her nose with her hands.
She wanted to live alone on a mountain, but her clan wouldn’t let her be.
As the days passed, the foul smell of the people surrounding her only became increasingly worse, her brother, especially, was changing more and more.
He was getting more aggressive as the days went on and his eyes held many disgusting emotions.
Namgung Bi-ah was struggling to keep herself going because of everything.
She idly wondered if she would really be able to find peace once she reached the ideal peak of her sword arts.
If there would be peace at the end of her path if she just lived on.
She wondered whether she was merely grasping onto thin strands of hope.
While she was living a life where she felt like she was constantly standing at the edge of a cliff.
She met him.
It was the first time for her.
The very first time in her life when the rotten stench that tormented her all throughout her life had completely vanished.
As though the mist and fog that covered her existence were being blown somewhere far away... only peace and tranquility remained when she was around him.
The person who had sharp eyes, an annoyed tone of voice, and who constantly told her to stay away from him.
Namgung Bi-ah found comfort in his presence, free from the stench that plagued her life.
He didn’t have the greed and desire that she would often spot in others, instead, he would just look at her with guilt and a hint of desperation.
She wanted to ask the man a question as he kept looking at her seemingly thinking of someone else.
Who was he searching for?
What was he thinking, for him to look at her that way?
But she couldn’t ask, in the end, so Namgung Bi-ah was still unaware of the intention behind that gaze.
It kept reminding her of the question she was asked by Tang Soyeol recently.
“Do you perhaps like Young Master Gu?”
Namgung Bi-ah, at the time, really thought that she didn’t.
It certainly wasn’t love she felt towards him at that time.
‘What about now?’
Was it any different now?
She asked herself that question, but no answer came back.
It was a question that was harder to comprehend than the identity of the stench. Harder dielemma than the stench.
While she was swinging her sword in the mountain her eyes gaze with the eyes of the guy she had been thinking of.
The first thing she noticed was his hand which seemed to be wounded.
Startled by the sight, she rushed towards him.
But as she did, she noticed a slight bit of stench coming from him at that moment.
It was slight, but it was certainly the stench she knew all too well.
Namgung Bi-ah felt like the world was crumbling around her at that moment.
She kept telling herself that it wasn’t true and grabbed him and smelled him.
Begging in her mind for it to not be true.
He was the only one who could provide her comfort in this world.
She was able to eat comfortably,
And she didn’t have nightmares when she was next to him.
She was even able to be around people when he was by her side.
She was finally learning how to become a proper human,
...So she couldn’t afford to lose him.
Thankfully,
The slight bit of stench she had felt on him was no more, assuring her that it was just her mistake.
When she was assured that her peace wouldn’t go away, her legs lost strength, and she collapsed onto the ground.
He came closer to her and carefully wiped away the cold sweat that was flowing down her face.
She grabbed his arm and pulled it towards her nose.
She was worried that she would lose her peace once again, which made her do that subconscious action.
‘I see.’
So that’s what despair felt like.
The peace she experienced had taught her the fear of losing something she adored.
She told herself.
That she could never let him go.
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