Bungo Stray Dogs - Volume SS - Chapter 1.2

Looking the Gift Tiger in the Mouth - 2

Osamu Dazai and his colleague, Doppo Kunikida, ended up bringing Atsushi to a small teahouse. It was near the wharf, so steam whistles could be faintly heard in the background. Half of the seats in the cozy establishment were cushions on tatami mats while the other half were modern chairs and tables. It was almost empty inside, perhaps because the teahouse had just opened for the night. The lights were dim.

* * *

The only customers were Atsushi and the two men who brought him there. The smell of broth slowly wafted through the air from the kitchen; the owner must have been in the middle of cooking something. All the food on the menu was listed on one wall.

Atsushi faced the table, hastily shoveling a bowl of tea over rice into his mouth. Stacked next to him were numerous already-empty bowls on the verge of collapsing. There had to be at least ten.

Dazai and Kunikida were seated across from him with just their teacups since they had already finished their meals. The tea, however, had been cold for a while now.

“Tsk. Unbelievable. What kind of fool says, ‘Gee, that looks like a nice river,’ and dives right into it?! And during the middle of work, to boot! Just look at what you’ve done! Now we’re way behind schedule.”

Kunikida, notebook in hand, had been complaining like this the entire time. Meanwhile, Dazai was resting both elbows on the table with his fingers interlaced, but his bored expression made it obvious that he was hardly listening.

“You sure love your little schedule book, Kunikida.”

“This isn’t a schedule. They’re my ideals! My guiding light in life!”

Kunikida promptly stood to give an impassioned speech while tapping the cover of his notebook. Written on it with skillful penmanship was the word IDEALS.

“And nowhere in this book does it advise partnering with a suicide aficionado!”

Atsushi, cheeks stuffed with tea over rice, looked up at Kunikida. The roars of his stomach had finally died down, so he started listening to the conversation.

“Mfh nh mnrrginian frnmn?!” he asked, still chewing with his mouth full.

“Silence!” Kunikida immediately replied with a deep crease in his brow. He then dropped down into his chair, crossed his legs, and leaned back. “And my financial ledger says nothing about me paying for someone else’s endless supply of tea over rice!”

“Hngh rmmh?!” Atsushi leaned forward and joined the conversation.

“Like I said: We are working!”

“Mmmngh?” Atsushi asked, curiously tilting his head.

“‘What kind of work?’” Kunikida repeated before adding, clearly irritated, “Let’s just say it’s military related.”

Meanwhile, Dazai looked back and forth between the two of them in wonder.

“How are you two…communicating right now?” he asked.

That put a stop to Atsushi and Kunikida’s conversation. They were both visibly surprised. Kunikida’s exasperated face implied that Dazai’s question was ridiculous; Atsushi nodded, then audibly swallowed the last bit of tea over rice in his mouth, his chopsticks still in hand.

“Phew! I’m stuffed! I don’t want to see another bowl of tea over rice for ten more years at least!” Atsushi declared with indisputable satisfaction after finally finishing his last bowl. He tenderly patted his swollen belly.

“You little… How can you be so shameless after eating on someone else’s dime?!”

Kunikida’s eyebrow began to twitch.

Atsushi lowered his gaze.

“…I really appreciate what you did for me,” he muttered softly. Kunikida’s expression turned serious once more. “I’ve been starving and homeless ever since I came here to Yokohama from the orphanage. I probably would’ve died if it wasn’t for you guys.”

Atsushi smiled uncomfortably. What would have happened to him if he hadn’t saved Dazai? If anything, perhaps it was Dazai who saved him.

“…You grew up in an orphanage?” Dazai asked.

“Well…I did, but then I got kicked out” was Atsushi’s honest reply. His mouth filled with a bitter taste.

“Wow… That’s coldhearted,” Dazai said while shifting his gaze to the teacup in his hand.

“We’re not a charity, Dazai,” Kunikida sternly cut in, quickly dampening the mood. “We don’t have time to go around helping everyone in need. Come on. It’s time to get back to work.”

“That reminds me…” Atsushi lifted his head up and looked at the two men across the table. “You said your job was military related, right? What kind of work do you do?”

“Heh… We’re detectives,” Dazai suggestively replied, holding up his index finger.

“…Detectives?”

Sure, neither of them seemed like they worked in a cubicle, but they didn’t exactly fit the look of a detective, either.

“We don’t hunt down lost pets or cheating spouses or anything like that, however. Have you heard of the Armed Detective Agency? We’re a group of detectives, each with unusual abilities,” said Kunikida, his eyes sharpening behind his glasses.

“Oh…”

Atsushi started tensing despite himself, and his face stiffened.

I’ve heard rumors about them before…

The Armed Detective Agency: a detective company specializing in dangerous work too dicey for the military or police to handle. An armed organization standing on the twilight, ruling over the threshold between the worlds of night and day.

And supposedly most of their members possess some type of special, otherworldly “skill.” So then…do these two also…?

Atsushi stared at them with bewilderment when suddenly Dazai let out a small yelp and perked up his head in realization of something. “Ooooh!” he squealed with delight, his eyes glittering. “I never noticed before, but there’s a really nice-looking lintel right there!”

When Atsushi looked up, he noticed a very thick, sturdy-looking slab of wood hanging horizontally, but he had no idea why Dazai’s bouncing eyes were passionately locked onto this beam-like piece of wood.

“Stop gauging opportunities to kill yourself everywhere we go!”

Kunikida, who had been checking the schedule in his notebook, fiercely glared at his partner. It was as if he saw right through the suicide-obsessed detective and knew exactly what he was thinking. He scowled, annoyed that he couldn’t let his guard down for even a second.

“I’m not! I was just thinking about how I could do neck extensions with it!”

Dazai pouted, apparently shocked that Kunikida would even suggest such a thing.

“…And what on earth is a neck extension?” Kunikida asked with a quizzical stare.

“Huh?! You’ve never heard of it?!” Dazai immediately replied, his eyes wide in astonishment. “It’s really good for stiff shoulders!”

“What…? It can do that?!”

“Hurry, Kunikida! Jot that down before you forget!” Dazai urged him.

Kunikida wasted no time opening his notebook, then began taking notes while muttering “Neck…extensions…” to himself.

“I made all that up, by the way.  ” Dazai turned his head in the other direction with a mischievous, catlike grin.

“Rrrrgh!!”

Kunikida’s eyebrows furiously narrowed as he clenched his fists, mercilessly snapping his poor fountain pen in two.

Wham! He promptly slammed his notebook onto the table, then grabbed Dazai.

“Gwaaahhhehhh!”

He was so furious that he couldn’t even enunciate his words, wringing Dazai’s neck like an old damp rag. There was no need for some wooden lintel; Kunikida’s grip had more than enough force to send Dazai to the afterlife—yet Dazai showed no signs of struggle as he goofily smiled.

“Curses! I’ve got a partner who throws himself into bodies of water, a street urchin who treats himself to a buffet at my expense, and now my entire perfect schedule is ruined!” Kunikida tightened his grip around Dazai’s neck.

That certainly did sound like a rough day. All Atsushi could do was make himself as small as possible, since he did actually feel guilty for ruining Kunikida’s perfect schedule.

But there was still one question on Atsushi’s mind:

Do these guys really work for the Armed Detective Agency?

“We are going to finish today’s case exactly as planned. You got that, you blithering buffoon?!” Kunikida hollered, squeezing so tightly that he was about to snap Dazai’s head right off.

Today’s case…

Curiosity suddenly got the best of Atsushi.

“So, uh… What kind of case are you on today anyway?” he asked.

“What?!”

“Eek?!” Atsushi shrank under Kunikida’s threatening glare. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have asked! Y-you’re detectives! I should have known there was some sort of client confidentiality!”

After all, this job of theirs was military related. In other words, it wasn’t something you could tell just anyone.

Kunikida eventually let go of Dazai, got back in his seat, and then cleared his throat.

“Today’s case doesn’t require secrecy of any kind, actually. The military asked us to locate a tiger.”

“……A tiger?”

Atsushi’s eyes opened wide. Even he could tell that he was turning pale. He wasn’t hearing things, that much he knew. Kunikida made it sound like they were searching for a lost kitten, but he’d clearly said:

A tiger.

The tips of Atsushi’s fingers started going numb. He unconsciously clenched his fists.

“There’s talk of a man-eating tiger that’s been terrorizing the city as of late,” said Dazai. “Granted, I don’t know if it’s actually eaten anyone, but it sure hasn’t been shy about ravaging storehouses and devouring crops. And there have been numerous sightings of the beast around here lately…”

He shrugged as if to say that this tiger was being a real pain in the neck.

Golden eyes coldly glowing in the darkness.

The deep roar of a starving beast echoing through the night.

That tiger…

“…!”

Atsushi tried to stand, staggering to his feet, but he immediately tripped and fell back down onto his rear.

Thud! Rattle!

The chair hit the floor, bringing life to the silent teahouse.

“What’s wrong, Atsushi?”

Dazai gave him a puzzled stare.

“I—I…! I have to go! G-good-bye!” Atsushi yelped, his expression contorting slightly.

What a coincidence it was for these two people to be looking for that tiger. Atsushi couldn’t help but shut his eyes tightly.

I have to get out of here.

He tried getting up, but his legs felt like two wobbly noodles, so he began crawling as quickly as he could toward the entrance.

“Not so fast!” Kunikida yelled sharply, grabbing Atsushi by the collar and dragging him back. “You know something, don’t you?”

“Ah…! Ahhh!”

Atsushi wildly swung his arms and legs, struggling to escape Kunikida’s grasp.

“Y-you can’t…,” he whispered before swiftly looking back at the detective. “Nobody can defeat that thing!”

His voice was faintly trembling.

“You’ve seen the man-eating tiger?”

Kunikida furrowed his brow and fixed Atsushi with a quizzical gaze. “Suspicious” would be the best way to describe his expression.

“It’s after me! That beast almost killed me! And if it’s nearby, then I have to get out of here!” Atsushi desperately cried as his face continued to stiffen.

Out of nowhere, Kunikida released his collar.

Thud. Atsushi hit the floor.

Then Kunikida quickly grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back.

“Gaaah!” Atsushi groaned, face to the floor.

No matter how much it hurt, Kunikida wasn’t going to go easy on him. In fact, he was slowly twisting Atsushi’s arm with even greater force.

“You can pay for your meal with an arm—or by telling us everything you know!”

Kunikida’s intense shouting echoed throughout the empty teahouse. Atsushi clenched his teeth, squeezing his eyes as tears began to well up.

I should have never come here—I should have never gotten involved with these two.

“Come on, Kunikida. Relax. Whenever you want information out of someone, it turns into an interrogation. The boss himself has warned you time and again about this.”

Dazai stepped forward and tried to pacify his partner and then shot him an exasperated look. Kunikida scowled but realized he’d gone a bit too far; he let go of Atsushi’s arm and stood back up. Atsushi lifted himself off the floor before placing a hand on his throbbing shoulder.

“Now, then… What do you know about the tiger?” Dazai calmly asked, his gaze quietly fixed on Atsushi.

Atsushi couldn’t possibly talk his way out of this or deceive a man who could see right through him. That much was clear by the quiet, intense glow in Dazai’s eyes. After coming to that conclusion, Atsushi looked at his feet and hesitantly muttered:

“…That tiger destroyed my orphanage.”

He clenched his fists, fighting the urge to tremble.

“It ravaged our crops, destroyed our chicken coop… Tore up the storehouse, too.”

I know that tiger all too well…

Fields with every last crop devoured… A chicken coop splattered with blood and feathers… The storehouse on the verge of collapsing… All this made it clear how vicious the tiger must have been.

“Nobody was killed…but the orphanage was too cash-strapped to recover…so they kicked me out.”

“Get out!”

“You do not belong in this world!”

“Just go! Leave, you filthy freeloader!”

“But why? I didn’t do anything…”

Why were they being like this? The adults at the orphanage coldly looked down at Atsushi as he slowly drowned in confusion. That icy look in their eyes would never leave him.

With only a single, small bag, Atsushi had been forced out of the one place he ever felt like he belonged. Never would he forget how it felt to stand in front of the tall iron-rail gate in a daze as it closed behind him.

A heavy silence fell. Atsushi sat on the edge of the elevated tatami floors, biting his lip and looking down.

The silence lingered for some time…

Dazai then offered some words of sympathy: “Wow, sounds like you had a real stroke of bad luck.”

Bad luck…

Was that really all this was? Then again, there was no other way to describe it.

“Tell me about how the tiger almost killed you,” Kunikida demanded. His voice was void of emotion, causing Atsushi to tense up.

“No matter where I go…the man-eating tiger is there…like it’s chasing me. Even the other day, when I was by the Tsurumi River…”

Right…

If there was a source to all this misfortune, then it would have to be that tiger. That monster was the sole reason Atsushi was kicked out of the orphanage, and it was still causing trouble for him.

It happened a few days ago. Atsushi was tiredly hobbling down the road with the cold night breeze brushing against his cheeks. There were no streetlights. Only the wintry glow of the moon illuminated the path below.

Suddenly, a passerby shrieked: “A tiger… That’s a tiger!!”

Atsushi slowly lifted his head to find an old, rusty convex safety mirror on the roadside.

Reflected in the mirror were large golden eyes staring right back at Atsushi.

The beast growled and bared its fangs. Every hair on Atsushi’s body instantly stood up, and he ran for his life, screaming at the top of his lungs.

That wasn’t the only time something like this had happened, either.

“I’ve seen the beast’s shadow more times than I can count these past two weeks since I got kicked out of the orphanage…”

And each time, he would run and hide until dawn. Day after day of fleeing had gone by in an exhausted blur until he eventually ran into Dazai and Kunikida at the riverbank.

“It’s probably in this city now because of me, too…,” Atsushi muttered, his voice trembling.

There was no way that more than one tiger was roaming the streets of Yokohama. If anything, it wasn’t normal for even a single tiger to be in the city. So where did it come from? No one had mentioned any tigers escaping the zoo, because if something like that really had happened, it would be all over the news.

“…When was the last time you saw the tiger?” asked Dazai, who had been quietly listening the entire time. It seemed like something was on his mind.

Atsushi lifted his chin ever so slightly and apprehensively met his gaze.

“It was around…four days ago by the Tsurumi River.”

“Yes, the attacks began roughly two weeks ago, and we have eyewitness accounts of the beast by the Tsurumi River four days ago,” said Kunikida.

He double-checked his notes and shot Dazai an urging glance.

“Hmm…” Dazai closed his eyes in thought and grumbled. A few moments later, he opened his eyes as if an amazing idea had just struck him. He grinned.

“Atsushi, you free tonight?”

“Huh?!”

Atsushi’s shoulders jumped in shock. Although Dazai was smiling, he looked like he was plotting something.

I’ve got a really bad feeling about this…! thought Atsushi.

“If the tiger is pursuing you, that actually works to our advantage.”

Dazai promptly turned back to face the table and began writing something on a sheet of paper.

“Uh…?”

Atsushi stared at him with utmost suspicion. What did Dazai mean that they could use it to their “advantage”? Whatever this was, it wasn’t going to be pretty. That much was for sure.

“You’ll help us find the tiger!”

Grinning from ear to ear, Dazai spun back around in his chair to face Atsushi.

“No way!” Atsushi jumped to his feet.

Is this some kind of joke? I never want to see that savage beast again, no matter what. If that thing finds me, I’m a goner.

“Here, Kunikida. Deliver this to the boss for me.”

Dazai wore a serious expression while he held out a slip of paper between his fingers to Kunikida.

“What? Are you seriously planning on capturing that tiger with him? Just the two of you? We need to verify this intel first, and—” Kunikida frowned, clearly not happy about Dazai’s decision.

“Just do it.”

Dazai spoke gently but decisively. After staring hard into his partner’s eyes, Kunikida let out a deep sigh, then grabbed the slip of paper.

He unfolded it and scanned the writing, but only his eyebrows slightly rose before he silently slipped the message into his pocket. Meanwhile, Dazai was still full of smiles.

“I’m not going to help you catch that thing!!” Atsushi had his hands balled into fists.

Dazai didn’t merely want help searching the streets for this tiger…

“You’re asking me to be its dinner! No one in their right mind would want to be used as tiger bait!”

Atsushi owed these two for treating him to all the tea over rice he could eat, but repaying them by luring out a man-eating tiger was asking too much. It was unthinkable. That would mean his last meal was thirty bowls of tea over rice, and although he didn’t keep an obsessive schedule like Kunikida, dying that night was not on Atsushi’s agenda.

“We’ll pay you,” Dazai said softly.

“…Wait. You’ll…pay me…?” Atsushi’s ears perked up at those words. “Do you mean…?”

He almost turned around…but then he suddenly came to his senses.

“No, no, no! No way! I’m not sacrificing myself for a little cash!”

Atsushi didn’t have a single yen to his name, and he still didn’t have any income. He was at a loss. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to let money blind him. He wasn’t foolish enough to become tiger bait just so that he could have a meal tomorrow, so he turned his head away from Dazai with his back still facing him. Human life was more valuable than money. Everyone knew that…and yet…

“Just out of curiosity, though… How much were you willing to pay?” Atsushi hesitantly asked, looking partway back at Dazai. There was no harm in asking, after all. He was only asking. Nothing more.

“Hmm…” Dazai pondered while punching numbers into a calculator. “How does this sound?”

He then held out the calculator.

The moment Atsushi looked at the numbers displayed, his eyes lit up. He immediately began counting all the zeros.

One zero, two zeros, three…four…five…?!

He couldn’t stop himself from yelling:

“…Oooh?!”