“Kaori, could you call him...call Hajime-kun for me?”
“Sure... Thanks, dad.”
Kaori took out her cell phone and dialed Hajime’s number. He picked up immediately and she quickly explained the situation to him. He, of course, gladly agreed to speak to Kaori’s dad. His aura of calm confidence still rubbed Tomoichi the wrong way, but he tried to hold back his distaste. Kaori shook her head in exasperation as she handed the phone over to him.
“It’s me,” Tomoichi said curtly.
“We haven’t spoken since the family meeting. I’m glad I got to talk to you again.”
“Hmph, I would have been happy never hearing your voice ever again!”
“But I thought Kaori called because you wanted to talk to me?”
“Tch, you always have a smart-ass response ready, don’t you? That’s how you seduced my daughter, isn’t it?”
“Not really. If anything, she’s the one who seduced me.”
“Excuse me? Are you saying you actually don’t care that much about Kaori and you’re only going out with her because she insisted?! Is that it, huh?! Who do you think you are, you—?!”
“Dad?” Kaori said in a menacing voice.
“Sorry...”
Hearing Hajime’s voice reflexively put Tomoichi into fight or flight mode. He gave Kaori an apologetic smile, but she continued glaring at him. He could tell that if he didn’t get his act together, she might give him the silent treatment for months.
“Ahem! So, umm...the reason I called...well, it’s just, I’ve been thinking a lot and...look, it’s hard for me to act naturally around my daughter’s boyfriend, okay?”
“As a father myself, I understand completely. If my daughter brought a guy like me home, I’d break all the bones in his body, encase him in concrete, and dump him into the ocean.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, same, totally. I-I’d go that far too, for sure.”
“No, sorry, I suppose that wouldn’t be enough to appease your anger, would it? You probably want to drop a meteor on me, don’t you? It doesn’t matter how much of the world you’d destroy in the process, you want me to disappear that badly, right?”
“...E-Exactly!”
Cold sweat started beading on Tomoichi’s forehead. He hadn’t known Hajime was this extreme. Suddenly, he was dreading the day Hajime’s daughter brought home a boyfriend. Who knew what would happen to Japan then. For a moment, he considered trying to calm Hajime down, but then his pride as a father kicked in and he started competing with him again.
“Ahem! It seems you understand my feelings very well. But let’s put that aside for now. There’s one thing I want to ask you.”
“Sure.”
“You intend to marry all of your girlfriends no matter what, correct?”
“That’s right. I know that defies social norms, and I understand why that bothers you, but I have no intention of changing my mind, no matter what happens. I’ll dedicate my entire life to earning your approval, if that’s what it takes.”
“So you’re doubling down.”
“I hope that one day you’ll understand this is my way of showing my sincerity, and my resolve.”
Tomoichi gripped Kaori’s phone tighter. Indeed, what Hajime was saying was completely over the top. But at the same time, he could tell that he was serious about this.
“I want to punch you so bad right now.”
“I’m prepared to be punched as many times as it takes.”
“Well, I can’t because then my daughter’s going to get mad at me! God, why did she ever have to meet you.”
Tomoichi came to a halt. They were within eyeshot of the family home, but he could hardly step inside while having this conversation. Plus, there was one other thing he absolutely needed to ask.
“There’s no father in the world who doesn’t wish for their daughter’s happiness.”
“I know.”
“And right now, my daughter says she’s happy. She even looks happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
Tomoichi glanced back at Kaori. She smiled a cuter smile than he’d ever seen and nodded in response. It galled him that he’d never been able to make her smile like that.
“I understand that you’re a bastard who wants his harem no matter what, but let me just ask you this. Can you swear to me that you’ll keep Kaori this happy for the rest of her life? Can you promise me that?”
Tomoichi could tell that Hajime’s expression had turned serious, even though he couldn’t see him. The tone of Hajime’s voice alone conveyed the strength of his resolve, and just how seriously he’d taken Tomoichi’s question.
“I already swore to do that when I decided to marry her. I won’t break that promise even if it kills me.”
“......”
Tomoichi looked up at the sky. He wanted to shout “Goddammit all!” so badly, but with a herculean effort, he stifled his emotions for the sake of his daughter.
“In that case...come over for dinner sometime.”
“Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to come.”
Kaori ran over and hugged her dad.
“Thank you so much, dad. I love you!” she said in a small voice. Just hearing that made everything worth it, so Tomoichi was glad he’d sucked up his pride and made up with Hajime. At the same time, though, he felt a profound sense of defeat, knowing that he wouldn’t have had this reconciliation if Hajime hadn’t been so goddamn earnest.
“D-Don’t get the wrong idea, though! This doesn’t mean I approve of you just yet! If you make Kaori cry even once, I’m going to dump you in the Pacific and drop a meteor on you!” Tomoichi shouted, suddenly going tsundere.
“Ha ha, now that’s scary. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Kaori chuckled as well, and just as it looked like everything would turn out all right, disaster struck.
“Hajime, how does the sexy underwear you bought for me look?” Yue said, her voice clearly audible from the other side of the phone.
“Hajime-saaan! Look, there are holes everywhere in this thing! Can you even call this underwear?!” Shea exclaimed.
“Tonight is going to be a long night, Master! Let us drown in our own lust!” Tio said.
“You guys seriously had to come in at the worst time possible, didn’t you?! This is why I keep telling you to knock before—!”
The color drained from Tomoichi’s face, and even Kaori’s smile turned hostile. But then, she realized this would make it a hundred times harder for her dad to accept Hajime and she shook her head in exasperation.
“Hey, pervert,” Tomoichi said in a threatening voice.
“W-Wait, this is all a misunderstanding, Tomoichi-san! Give me a chance to—!”
“Like hell I’m giving you more chances! Yeah, you’re one crazy guy all right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Tomoichi started laughing maniacally...and before Kaori could stop him, he blew up completely.
“I take it all back, you bastard! I’m never letting you have my daughter! Don’t you dare come near her ever again or I’ll drop you into the ocean with a meteor!”
“Wait, I—!”
Tomoichi chucked the phone onto the ground and it snapped in half.
“Hey, that’s my phone!” Kaori shouted, but Tomoichi didn’t even notice. He was too blinded by rage to care. He stomped on the phone over and over, hoping to never hear his hated foe’s voice ever again.
“D-Dad, stop it!”
“I’m never talking to that guy again! Kaori, don’t you dare ever go to meet him! Promise me!”
Naturally, Kaori wasn’t about to make that promise. If anything, she was jealous that Yue and the others had gotten sexy underwear from Hajime and she hadn’t.
Tomoichi read her thoughts from her expression, which made him completely lose it.
“I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER approving of him!” he shouted, then took off in the opposite direction, as if running away from home until his daughter gave up on Hajime.
Kaori’s shoulders slumped and she muttered, “Usually, it’s the daughter who runs away when the father’s being stubborn and unreasonable.”
She appreciated how much her dad cared about her, but at the same time, she wished he could just make up with Hajime already. Sighing, she chased after her foolish father, determined to bring him back home.
Needless to say, Hajime had to go to great lengths to get back on speaking terms with Tomoichi. Legends say it was even harder than killing a god.
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