Chapter XI: Greeting the New Year with a New Family
The sky was clear on the third of January and the sun shone brightly down on everyone.
“Smack! Smack! Flatten it good! Flatten it to make it tasty!”
“Smack! Smack! Flatten it good! Flatten it to make it tasty!”
In the backyard of the Nagumo house, Shea and Myu were pounding away on a large vintage mochi mortar that Shu had managed to procure from somewhere. Shea’s rabbit ears flopped back and forth each time she brought the hammer down, as did the bunny ears on the hairband Myu was wearing each time she brought her hammer down. The two of them looked like sisters as they pounded away. A steaming ball of mochi sat inside the mortar they were smacking.
The two of them were taking part in the traditional New Year’s event of pounding mochi.
“C-Calm down, you two! It’s good that you’re in sync, but you’re going too fast. Look at all the times you’ve hit my poor hands!” Tio exclaimed, holding her hands out in front of the two of them with a pained expression on her face. She was in charge of flipping the mochi between hammer swings. However, seeing as there was a hint of excitement in her expression as well, she was probably enjoying getting pounded.
“Don’t just stand there, Tio-san, hurry up and flip the mochi again!” Shea said, ignoring Tio’s protests.
“Yeah! Time is of the essence when it comes to mochi pounding! No dawdling, Tio-oneechan!”
“Y-Yes, ma’am!”
Surprised by how forceful Myu sounded, Tio hurriedly stuck her hands into the mochi ball once again.
“Flatten it!”
“Ah! Shea, you’re aiming for me on purpose, aren’t—?!”
“Flatten it!”
“Ack! Myu?! Why are you attacking me too?!”
Shea and Myu kept swinging their hammers one after another, expertly aiming for Tio’s hands each time. Both the mochi and Tio’s hands were being flattened into a nice, even circle. Tio’s screams of pain and pleasure could be heard between Myu and Shea’s rhythmical singing.
“Shea really looks at home pounding mochi. And Myu looks really cute in bunny ears!” Shu said, sipping tea on the porch.
“Definitely. If it wasn’t for the pervert getting off to having her hands pounded, I’d want to take a video of this,” Hajime replied, taking a sip of his own tea.
Incidentally, there was no real reason Shea and Myu were going after Tio’s hands. They just knew she’d enjoy it, so they were kind enough to reward her. They were, after all, bunnies that brought happiness and fortune to people. And honestly, Tio was also going out of her way to put her hands somewhere that made them easy to hit. Her expression wasn’t one that could be aired on PG TV.
Meanwhile, in another corner of the yard, Yue and Kaori were playing Japanese badminton, another New Year’s staple event.
“Hey! You just used gravity magic on the shuttlecock, didn’t you, Yue?! That’s cheating!”
“Where’s your proof? Besides, dual-wielding rackets is cheating too.”
It seemed like their game was getting quite heated...to the point where it wasn’t really something you could call badminton anymore.
“There’s no rule that bans dual-wielding rackets, but magic’s definitely not allowed!”
“Rules are something you enforce with strength! Without strength, rules hold no meaning!”
“That’s not a good philosophy to have! Don’t sound so proud of yourself!”
Kaori served, sending her shuttlecock flying with such speed that a regular human wouldn’t be able to react. Though, even if they had, the angle she’d sent it flying was so perfect that they’d struggle to reach it in time. However, it slowed down considerably as it reached Yue, almost as if the world were suddenly moving in slow motion.
“You’ve entered my territory. Let’s see if you can withstand my snake shot!”
“Stop using gravity magic! Fine, I won’t hold back either, then! Take this, Lightning Shot!”
Yue was using gravity magic to power up her shots, while it seemed Kaori was now using restoration magic to compress the passage of time for the shuttlecock and speed it up considerably.
There was a flash of light as the shuttlecock flew past Yue’s hair, then Kaori smiled triumphantly. But of course, Yue wasn’t about to let herself get beaten that easily.
“I have no blind spots!”
“Okay, using Heavenstep is definitely cheating!”
Heavenstep was Yue’s special ability that let her warp without using spatial magic to create a portal. Yue managed to send the shuttlecock back over the net, but Kaori jumped up high and smashed the shuttlecock back over to Yue’s side like a pouncing eagle. At the same time, she used Binding Chains of Light to hold Yue in place.
“Hmph! As if that can stop me! Lightning Dragon Shot!”
Yue had discovered the truth that players of badminton past had failed to realize. The racket was just a decoration. She summoned a mini lightning dragon and had it eat the shuttlecock. It then made a U-turn and started flying over to Kaori’s side. After that, it let out a mighty roar, and the sound of thunder reverberated throughout the backyard even though the sky was clear.
“You’re underestimating me again! Disintegration Shot!”
A silver beam shot out of Kaori’s paddle, obliterating the lightning dragon. There was no longer a need to distinguish Kaori from other apostles, so her disintegration beams had gone back to being silver instead of black. Of course, the beam also disintegrated the shuttlecock. And so Kaori spread her wings wide and created a new shuttlecock—one that would disintegrate anything it touched—and launched it back.
At this point, the two of them were just having a magic duel. After a few more exchanges, they even tossed their paddles aside and started directly blasting each other with magic. Both of them were moving too fast for anyone to see, but everyone could occasionally hear Yue shout, “Kaori, you moron!” and Kaori shout, “Yue, you idiot!”
“The two of them really are good friends, huh?” Shu said with a smile.
“They do say you have to be close to someone to be able to fight with them. You know sometimes they just go out together to go shopping or eat food and stuff,” Hajime replied. At this point, he’d just come to accept that fighting was how the two of them communicated best.
Incidentally, while there were occasional flashes and explosions, Hajime had erected a barrier around the house with an Artifact so that none of the neighbors noticed.
As father and son enjoyed their tea on the porch, they heard Sumire and Liliana from inside the living room.
“Ha ha ha, looks like my mercenary troop succeeded in its surprise attack! I get thrice the reward from this plunder event!”
“H-How do you keep getting so lucky, mom? I’ve lost my house even though I’m a princess...”
“Poor Lily-san. You got to start as a princess and things are still this bad for you.”
“Meanwhile, Remia-san’s succeeding way more than she should, considering she started as a merchant. Since when did you get even more money than me?”
“Oh my, it looks like I’ve had another child. And they’re twins this time. I guess this means all of you need to give me celebratory gifts. Ufu fu.”
Sumire, Liliana, Aiko, Shizuku, and Remia were all playing a variant of the Life board game. It was one of the gifts Hajime had given Liliana to take back home.
He had, in fact, made a bunch of board games that he’d given her. They were all takes on classic Earth board games that had been modified to be a cultural fit for Tortus. He was actually planning on testing to see how well they’d sell in Tortus, using his merchant connections. If they sold well, he was planning on making Artifact-tier board games that no one else could craft and open up another side business selling games. It was one of the many business opportunities he’d come up with to support his family. Liliana and More, the merchant he’d be working with, would be making a lot of money as the middlemen selling his games so they’d win out as well.
Indeed, Hajime and Liliana had been laughing gleefully last night as they ironed out the details of this plan. It had been quite something, seeing the Demon Lord and a princess laughing maniacally.
At any rate, Liliana had ended up the destitute princess of a fallen kingdom, and after being forced to do hard labor had destroyed her body and had to pay steep medical fees. She’d also been swindled out of her house, and because she had to give Remia gifts for having twins, she was now in debt.
Remia smiled happily as she took Liliana’s lifeblood, happily giving birth to her ninth and tenth children. It was honestly kind of terrifying.
“You think we’re going to end up with a lot of grandkids?” Sumire asked Shizuku and Aiko with a knowing smile. Though they had their backs to Hajime, he could tell they were blushing, especially since they shot glances back at him when they thought he wasn’t looking.
Shu grinned at him as well, while Hajime simply pretended he hadn’t heard anything.
In an attempt to avert her eyes from how badly the game was going, Liliana turned to Sumire and asked, “Now that you mention it, how did you two meet?”
“Oh, that certainly came out of nowhere. What brought on that question, Lily-chan?”
“I was just curious. As a princess, I don’t really get to meet potential suitors the way commoners do. Even my meeting with Hajime-san was rather unorthodox.”
Sumire nodded in understanding. She could see how someone born into special circumstances would be curious about how normal people met their romantic partners. She looked off into the distance, reminiscing fondly about her meeting with Shu. She then looked over at Liliana and the others and started recounting her tale.
“I met Shu on New Year’s Day, at a shrine. It was freezing cold, and both me and Shu had snuck into the shrine in cosplay. I was in a shrine maiden’s outfit, while Shu was dressed like a priest.”
“Forget it, that doesn’t sound normal at all!” Liliana shouted. Remia, Shizuku, and Aiko all looked surprised as well. Shu’s ears perked up as he heard that and Hajime just shook his head in exasperation.
“I was really surprised when I saw Shu. That shrine had been featured in an anime I really liked, so I really wanted to play out being a shrine maiden there. That was why I snuck in while cosplaying, and while I was pretending to be a guide, I saw a priest who looked to be around the same age as me. We were in high school, by the way, so he looked way too young to be a real priest. But he was leaning against a nearby pillar, trying to look as priest-like as possible. Unfortunately, the actual head priest found him and took him to the office.”
“This is the craziest story of two people meeting that I’ve ever heard,” Liliana said, cradling her head in her hands. She looked over at Remia and the others, hoping they’d interject to save her, but they just all looked away.
Meanwhile, the mochi-pounding squad and the badminton-playing squad had stopped what they were doing so they could listen to the story as well. And at the same time, it looked like Shu wanted to run away as fast as possible.
“Anyway, after that they did a roll call for everyone in the shrine and I got exposed as well, so the two of us got on all fours and apologized profusely to the shrine staff. We figured we’d get off without being punished if we just looked as sincerely sorry as possible.”
In the end, it all came back to the almighty Nagumo family apology. It truly did run in the family. In a sense, though, it was fate that two people with such similar hobbies and a tendency to give overblown apologies would meet in such a manner.
“There was just one problem, though. Our cosplay was so perfect that we weren’t allowed to just leave.”
“Excuse me, what?” Remia shouted.
“I’m glad you asked, Remia-chan!” Sumire said, getting more and more into her storytelling persona.
“So what exactly do you mean by your cosplay being too good?”
“Well, you see, our outfits looked so realistic that they thought we’d stolen them.”
Of course they hadn’t. They were just that hardcore about their hobbies. Apparently, after a heated argument where the staff kept accusing them Shu had finally said, “This isn’t even a priest’s outfit! It may look like one, but it’s what I wear all the time! Got a problem with my fashion sense?!”
He’d gotten so pissed that he’d try to play it off that he hadn’t snuck in at all and was just a guy who wore this on the regular.
“When I heard that I started laughing...and that was when I decided I should probably marry this guy.”
“How did that make you want to marry him?!” everyone shouted at once. Yue and the others had all gathered around Sumire to hear the story now as well.
Meanwhile, Shu covered his face with his hands and started rolling around on the ground in pain. He was so embarrassed to have his daughter-in-laws hear this story.
“Anyway, he accepted my confession, then we got married later. What do you think? Pretty normal compared to how you met our son, right, Lily-chan?”
“Definitely not!” everyone shouted in unison. While Sumire and Shu’s meeting might not have been as dramatic, it was definitely just as special, if not more. At the same time, though, Yue and the others found the story oddly fitting. It only made sense for someone like Hajime to have been raised by parents like them. They all turned to look at him.
“Don’t give me that look. I’m not as crazy as mom and dad,” Hajime stated flatly. Everyone nodded with knowing smiles on their faces.
Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.
Hajime folded his arms across his chest and frowned, looking like he was unable to understand why everyone thought he wasn’t normal.
“Anyway, it looks like Yue and Kaori have finally calmed down, and the sun’s in the perfect spot, so how about we take a family picture?” Sumire asked.
“Oooh, that sounds like a good idea! I’ll go get the camera!” Shu replied, desperate to leave the scene. He ran into the house and started rummaging through the closet.
In the meantime, everyone walked out into the yard, cleaned up the mortar and pestle, stored the mochi somewhere cool to let it sit, and started lining up for the picture. The girls fiddled with their hair a bit to make it perfect before Shu finally returned with the camera.
The Nagumo family stood in front of their front gate with Hajime in the center. Yue and the others looked a bit nervous, while Sumire, who was standing on the far end, laughed.
“Now, now, no need to be so stiff! Smile! It’s our first family picture, so we’ve gotta make it a good one, guys!”
Indeed, this would be the first family picture with everyone in it since Hajime had returned from Tortus and tripled the family’s size. Hajime had suggested taking one to hang up in the living room.
Shu set up a tripod, placed the camera on it, and then smiled at everyone to show them how they should smile.
“Everyone ready?! I’m setting the timer for ten seconds! Here goes!”
Shu pressed the button and ran over to Sumire so that he, too, would be in the picture. Sumire wrapped her arm around him and hugged him close like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.
Hajime and Yue exchanged glances, and Yue’s nervousness vanished.
“Mmm, everyone smile like you normally do,” Yue said.
“Yeah, I know you guys can do it,” Hajime said.
Shea and the others relaxed as well, and as the countdown hit zero, everyone was smiling normally. There was a loud click and everyone pulled out their phones to see how the picture had come out. Shu had programmed the camera to send the picture to everyone once it had been taken.
“Fu fu, I love it. I’ll treasure it forever,” Yue said happily. It was indeed a wonderful picture worthy of being called a treasure.
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