Amagi Brilliant Park - Volume 3 - Chapter 2

2 
I started my job at the park that weekend. 
I arrived at work at 9:00 a.m. The staff (referred to as “cast,” apparently) had to pick up their ID cards from the security center next to the employee gate. The head of security, Mr. Okuro, was a little bit of an oddball, and I felt a sort of affinity with him. 
Then, just as Sento-senpai had told me to do in her email, I headed right for the conference room, where the new employee orientation was supposed to take place. Inside were about twenty brand new hires, just like me. The majority were in college and/or in their 20s, with me being the only high school student there as far as I could see. 
They all seemed very nervous. I was petrified, too—understandable, I hope, since it was my first job—but there was one person there who seemed strangely relaxed. 
She was a pretty older woman who gave off real calming vibes. She talked to me a little (probably because I happened to be sitting next to her) and explained that her name was Adachi Eiko and she used to work in AVs. 
Wait, I thought. Wait a minute here. Did she say AVs? AVs, as in... AVs? That’s not short for Armored Valkyries, right? 
“Everyone always seems so surprised when I tell them about it. I wish I knew why...” Eiko-san sighed, ignoring my own stunned reaction. 
It was incredible. Was this what it meant to be out in the world? Just sitting next to someone in her profession, I felt like I had grown up a lot. Like I’d reached a place no one else in my school had ever been. So grateful to her! 
Several minutes later, after everyone had arrived, another girl came in late and sat down next to me. She looked about my age, and I guessed she was the only other high school student there. 
She had short hair and a real bubbly energy to her. She introduced herself as Bando Biino, said “looking forward to working with you!” and offered me a handshake. I just sat there, stammering. I wasn’t nervous because we had only just met—it was because she was dressed in pajamas, and the hand she was offering me was stained with fresh blood. 
“Orientation is so important!” she explained. “That’s why I snuck out of the hospital! I guess it caused my wound to open up again... Hehehe...” 
Don’t “hehehe” about that! I silently cried. Your whole side is sopping red! Someone, please call an ambulance! This girl is crazy! Her face was growing paler and paler by the minute. 
“I-I’m fine! This is... nothing. Just want to... work... blurgh...” 
Before I could think of what to do, Biino-san toppled over. Some members of the cast came running and carried her off on a stretcher. 
While the rest of us sat there, trembling in fear, the chief of security made an announcement: “Sorry, sorry about that. Um, we’ll start the orientation soon, but please rest easy in the meantime.” Then he wandered off. There was no way we could rest easy, of course. (Eiko-san was quite relaxed. She really did have nerves of steel.) Several of the newcomers even stood up, pale-faced, and left the room. I totally got how they felt; I would have done the same, if I could. 
Before long, our trainers arrived. Trainers were experienced cast members in charge of getting new employees settled in. They would teach us the bare minimum of what we needed to know to work at the park. 
“Atten-SHUN!” a sharp voice cried, as three mascot characters entered. 
One was a mouse-like mascot with a rotund body like a wombat. This was the Fairy of Sweets, Moffle! 
One was a sheep-like mascot covered in pillowy white wool. This was the Fairy of Music, Macaron! 
One was a dog-like mascot covered in fluffy down, carrying an adorable little pouch. This was the Fairy of Flowers, Tiramii! 
Their feet squeaked cutely as they ran to form a neat row in front of us. 
“Wow!” Me and the other newbies launched into a round of applause. What else could we do? These were Amagi Brilliant Park’s headliners, after all! Even if it was just a minor amusement park, you couldn’t ignore that kind of star power! 
They must have sent them here to welcome and soothe the nervous newcomers on our first day, I thought. How considerate! I was so grateful! Were they going to dance for us? Offer souvenir photos? We were all on the edges of our seats as we waited to find out! 
But while we applauded them— 
The Fairy of Sweets, Moffle, threw the whiteboard against the wall. It hit it and fell with a bang and a clatter. “Quiet! Shut your traps, fumo!” His voice dripped malice. It lacked even a trace of warmth. 
A hush did indeed fall over the room—although it was less that he had told us to be quiet, and more that we couldn’t quite square the “Fairy of Sweets” image with the words coming out of his mouth. 
“...Something amusing you, fumo? You must be amused, because I see you all smiling! You still think you’re customers, is that it?” 
Nobody knew what to say. 
Moffle continued: “Listen up, maggots. The minute you set foot in this land of hopes and dreams, you cease being human, fumo! You’re the lowest forms of life on Earth, fumo! You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit, and I am gonna ride you day and night until you learn how to interact with the guests! You will not laugh! You will not cry, fumo!” 
It was a surprise to see Moffle talking at all, but the foulness that spewed from his mouth just took it over the top. 
“We are gonna break you, we are gonna wash you out, and we are gonna take pleasure in seeing that happen, fumo! If you puke on our park’s legacy, you will earn our contempt! You are gonna wish you never came here, fumo! Understand? ...Now, time to start training, fumo.” 
“Everyone, line up! Stand at attention, ron!” The Fairy of Music, Macaron, shouted. Everyone rushed to line up—I just barely made it in time, myself—except for one man, who seemed about college age. He looked like the superficial, slacker-y type. 
“Hey, you! Slack-jawed bleach boy! Get your measly ass up here, fumo!” Moffle shouted, singling out the slacker. With an annoyed roll of his eyes, the man did as he was told, but he kept his posture slumped 45 degrees in an aggressive act of defiance. 
“Looks like we’re dealing with a real shitheel, fumo. Where were you born, fumo?” 
“...Hokkaido.” 
“Hokkaido? Only cows and crabs come from Hokkaido. Which are you, fumo?” 
It was a bizarre question, I thought. Naturally, the slacker also scowled in confusion. “Huh? What’re you talkin’ about?” 
“Are you a cow? Or a crab?” Moffle demanded. “Answer me! Right now!” 
“Uh, I mean... what? What are you talking a—blugh!” 
A body blow from Moffle sent the slacker doubling over in pain. “I’m asking the questions here, fumo! Are you a cow! Are you a crab! Answer! This! Instant!” 
“Uh... guh, I... I...” 
“You want another one, fumo?!” 
“I’m... c-crab... no, c-cow? I’m a cow!” the man moaned. 
“If you’re a cow, then act like it, fumo! Let’s hear you moo! Moo, moo!” 
“M-Moo...” 
“That’s one hell of a limp-dick cow! I’ve seen five-year-olds that could do better! Try again, and put your whole ass into it, fumo! Moo, moo!” 
“Moo! Moo! Moooooo!” 
“Still lacking conviction. Practice it, fumo.” 
The slacker man was relieved. Tiramii walked him to a corner of the room, where he stood looking on the verge of tears. I was on the verge of tears, too. 
“Listen up, nuggets! I’m not taking any shit from you, fumo. From now on, the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be ‘Sir!’ You got that, fumo?!” 
“S-Sir, okay, sir...” the group answered, out of sync. 

“That’s ‘Sir, yes, sir!’ ron! Again!” 
“S-Sir... yes, sir...” 
“Can’t hear you, mii! One more time!” 
“Sir, yes, sir!” we all shouted out desperately. 
Still, Moffle didn’t seem pleased. “I still can’t hear you, fumo! Is this how you plan to act around our guests?! I can hear them already! ‘Amagi Brilliant Park is a park of gutless crybabies!’ Now our reputation’s in the toilet, and it’s all your fault, fumo!” 
I had no idea what he was talking about. Was being gutless really so bad? Were the customers terrorists? Were they Communists? 
From there, Moffle and the others went on and on about how we were know-nothing weaklings, how they were going to turn us into emotionless killing machines, and how we’d start with a twenty kilometer run carrying twenty kilograms on our backs. 
I wanted to run away. Everyone else seemed to be looking for a way out, too. 
It was just then that Kanie Seiya-senpai and Sento Isuzu-senpai arrived. 
“What the hell are you doing, you rat?!” Kanie-senpai bellowed. 
“Fumo?!” 
Kanie-senpai kicked Moffle in the butt. 
“This is no way to treat an educator, fumo!” 
“Shut up! Educator, my ass!” 
They both looked furious. They didn’t seem to get along at all. 
“Moffu... well, I’m glad you’re here, fumo. I have to build something out of all this human refuse, and watching me beat you to death might just scare ’em rigid!” 
A paw whipped through the air. Senpai dodged. A thrilling back-and-forth commenced: folding chairs went flying, tables toppled, and the new hires ran everywhere in panic. 
Ah, I wondered, dazed. What is happening here? I was just trying to get a part-time job at an amusement park. Why am I forced to cower into a corner while mascots fight to the death nearby? I want to go home. 
“That’s enough of that,” Sento-senpai declared. Then, she pulled out a musket and fired shots into Kanie-senpai, Moffle, and the others. Her gun must have had some kind of special bullets, because they didn’t seem to die. They just writhed around on the ground, clearly in a lot of pain. At this point, though, I had already lost my ability to be surprised by anything. 
At last, the commotion died down. 
“...Is everybody calmed down now?” she asked. “Then, please continue.” 
Kanie-senpai and the others spent some time doubled over, but at Sento-senpai’s urging, they finally stood up on unsteady legs. Their shoulders were heaving. Moffle caught my attention in particular: a costume character, heaving for breath? That was very strange. 
Kanie-senpai spoke. “Hahh... hahh... You told me to trust you with the newcomer training, so I did... but what’s with this boot camp crap?!” 
“Whew... whew... ...It’s cutting edge, fumo,” Moffle insisted. “Look... you see a lot of part-timers screwing around on Twitter these days, fumo. They walk into fridges, sleep on top of merchandise... It’s a huge risk for the company, fumo. I wanted to head all that off by instilling strict discipline and accountability from the start, fumo.” 
“You’ll chase them away before any of that sticks!” Kanie-senpai insisted. “We’re already short on employees, and you already want to drive out the handful of people actually willing to apply to this crap amusement park?!” 
Just then, Macaron and Tiramii chimed in. 
“The main reason is actually that we watched Full Metal Jacket the other day, ron.” 
“We’ve been practicing Sgt. Hartman’s boot camp speech, mii!” 
“Yeah, I figured it was something like that... Anyway, you three are out! Get back to your posts. Shoo, shoo!” Kanie-senpai sent them away like they were stray cats or something. 
“Aw, we’re off the job, fumo?” 
“No way! I worked hard on those running cadences, ron!” 
“Yeah, mii! Like ‘I don’t know but I’ve been told! Isuzu-chan’s c*nt is mighty cold!’... bguh!” 
Sento-senpai shot Tiramii again, killing him. I was starting to realize that the musket was more like one of those fans people use to whack each other in comical situations. That made perfect sense to me. 
Moffle and Macaron left, dragging off Tiramii’s corpse. Kanie-senpai and Sento-senpai remained behind and cleared their throats. 
“Ah, excuse us. We made a slight miscalculation... Just forget all that nonsense. No, wait, wait! Don’t leave... Ah, they left. Damn.” Kanie-senpai clicked his tongue ruefully as he watched two or three more new hires flee the room. “Sento, would you please?” 
“Certainly.” Sento-senpai stepped out in front of him, holding a sheaf of documents under one arm. “I will now explain the basics of what it means to work here. Please pass these printouts around.”

Everything after that went smoothly. 
Kanie-senpai seemed to have other work to attend to, because he disappeared immediately. 
Sento-senpai explained the park rules and terminology, as well as the basics of how to dress and greet customers, in a very businesslike manner. Businesslike is such a wonderful word, don’t you think? Businesslike forever! 
I started to realize, as she was speaking, that Kanie-senpai and Sento-senpai weren’t just leaders for the part-time crew, but occupied much more important positions in the park. I didn’t know more than that, but they wore park uniforms, and Sento-senpai led the orientation so efficiently that it made her seem even more impressive than she was at school. Maybe I’ll be a capable woman like her some day! I thought. 
But as wonderful as she was, I was still curious about her relationship with Kanie-senpai; I couldn’t help but pick up on some sexual tension between them. They might be up to some pretty risqué stuff when no one was watching, I thought. Like... holding hands and stuff! But then, she had also shown no mercy in putting a bullet into him, so maybe their relationship was platonic after all? 
Hmm, I was just so curious! If I get another chance, I thought, I should try to observe them more closely! 
The orientation ended just before noon, and then we were shown around the park. Sento-senpai read out our names and informed us where we’d all be stationed: 
The AV performer(?), Adachi Eiko-san, was assigned to Macaron’s Music Theater. She waved to me as she went on her way. What a nice person! I thought. Let me call you “big sister!” Actually, I won’t do that. Sorry. 
“Chujo Shiina-san?” Sento-senpai called. 
“Y-Yes?!” I squeaked. 
“Your assignment is Moffle’s House of Sweets. You’ll be an actor’s assistant. Good luck.” 
“Dokay! Al boodai mest!” You can probably guess these things by now, but I was trying to say, “Okay! I’ll do my best!” 
But... wait a minute. Did she just say Moffle’s House of Sweets? Wasn’t that the attraction where that awful Moffle worked? Was I going to be his assistant? I was definitely going to end this day by peeing myself. (I had already been on the verge before.) 
“Any questions?” she asked. 
“Ah... u-um, no, ma’am...”

I was seriously thinking about running away. 
There was still time. I could tell Sento-senpai I quit, apologize, run home and bury myself in my covers. If I did that, I would never have to meet that scary Moffle again! Then again, maybe not... 
Like I said before, I was a fan of Moffle’s when I was little. So round and plushy, those big button eyes... A sweets-loving friend to all! The way he’d tilt his head and whuffle, “Fumo? Moffu!” He was super-duper cute. You just wanted to hug him and stroke his fur! And when I was feeling lonely, my Moffle plushie was always there for me. 
And yet... 
That Moffle was just too much. He was violent and aggressive, had a potty mouth, and he had a nasty look in his eyes (which seems strange to say about a mascot costume, but I was insistent that that was still the case). 
My pure image of him had been thoroughly shattered—as devastated as Hue, the old capital of Vietnam, during the Tet Offensive. So enraging! 
In that case, I thought, maybe I should stay and fight? 
I could go to that House of Sweets and give the person in that Moffle suit a piece of my mind. I could get him to take off the costume and have a good look at the ugly jerk underneath. That way, I could draw a line between him and the Moffle in my bed at home. That way, I could have good dreams again. I worked up my nerve and headed for the House of Sweets. 
I would give that costume actor a piece of my mind! I would take back my peaceful nights!

“Thirty minutes late? Hey, rookie... What do you think this job is, fumo?” 
“Ah... ah... um, um... rorrsy, rorrsy...” I was on the verge of tears already. I had intended to arrive with plenty of time to spare, you see... But it was my first time backstage, and I didn’t know where I was going... The next thing I knew, I was in a totally different area, and I ended up somewhere that looked like outer space, and the cast person I ran into (a man in a robot suit?) started yelling at me... Naturally, I asked for directions, but they were so complicated, I just ended up getting confused again... So frustrating! My sense of direction was utterly hopeless! 
“I c-couldn’t... find... I’m yorrsy,” I stammered. “Um, s-sorrby...” 
“Ahh, whatever, fumo. Just follow me.” Moffle started to walk out of the room, grumbling. 
I felt so awful about being late that I couldn’t say what I meant to say. So galling! So humiliating! 
“Already busy with preparations for Golden Week, now I need to look after a rookie...” he muttered. “And a child at that, fumo. Why do I always get stuck working with kids, fumo?” 
Dealing with kids is your job, isn’t it?! I wanted to scream. But of course, I was nowhere near brave enough to do so. 
Moffle swiftly led me to the House of Sweets’s backstage area. We were using a passage reserved for employees only, and I could hear the giggling of the naughty mice from onstage nearby. 
Despite everything else, I couldn’t help but feel a little thrill about walking backstage at an amusement park. 
He brought me to a corner of the corridor that had been converted into a supply room—and a messy one, at that. The smell of paint thinner hung faintly in the air. Spare animatronics and audio devices lay all around. There was a work table for repairing the mechanics and the critters; needles, thread, and a sewing machine; piles of tools and tubes of paint... There was also a coloring table. It had an airbrush attachment, but what really caught my attention was the size of the filter mask lying nearby. It was clearly sized for Moffle’s face. 
“...It would be a lot better to have one central department to do all our maintenance, fumo. But because we don’t have any budget, each attraction handles its own, fumo. This is my work space, so no poking around, all right?” 
“Y-Yes sir...” 
“First, let’s get you a costume, fumo. The question is whether I have one that’ll fit...” 
Moffle searched through the lockers in the back of the supply space, then returned with a pale pink costume that looked like a cook’s outfit. It was a cute, but simple, design. 
“I reckon this is the smallest one I have... Now, hold still, fumo.” 
“O-Okay...” 
He held the costume up to my shoulders and narrowed his eyes. He took out a measuring tape and measured me here and there. He even measured my bust! 
“Ah, um, s-sexual h-harassment...” 
“What? I’m an adult, fumo. A kid like you isn’t even on my radar, fumo. Now, arms up. Arms.” 
Moffle wasn’t angry. He just seemed baffled. Such thoughtless treatment. So humiliating! 
“Ugh...” 
“Yeah, that’ll be baggy on you, fumo. Might as well not even bother with the pants... Hmm.” 
After thinking for a bit, Moffle tossed the pants aside and began messing with the cook’s top. He didn’t use scissors, but just folded the excess cloth away and then fastened it with safety pins. 
He was actually doing needlework with those round paws of his... Incomprehensible. How did he do it? 
“There we are. That’s a temporary fix, but try it on, fumo. Go on.” 
“Huh? R-Right here?” 
“There’s an employee bathroom over there. Go on, fumo.” Moffle urged me on, clearly annoyed. I quickly ran into the bathroom and got changed, just like he told me to. 
As I’ve explained several times, I’m quite petite, so the costume top fit me like a dress, with the hem stopping ten centimeters above my knees. That felt really short to me, but when I looked in the mirror, it was actually really cute! I put on the cook’s hat, and that completed the ensemble. Wow! Now I was a real member of the cast! 
I was still nervous about a lot of things, but putting on this uniform(?) really put me in the spirit. I did a twirl in front of the mirror. It was pretty... no, really good! I had to take a picture and send it to my mom! She’d be so happy for me! 
I wasn’t used to using my smartphone, though, so while I was messing with it, the door banged open. 
“What’s taking so long? Hurry up, fumo!” 
“Oh, oh... sorry, sorry!” I flew out of the bathroom, deciding I could take the picture another time. 
Moffle stared at my costume with a careful, scrutinizing gaze. 

“...Well, not bad, if I do say so myself. When you’re done working for the day, just leave those clothes on the bench from before, fumo. I’ll do the final stitching tonight. In the meantime, you can stash your things in those lockers there... pick any locker that’s available, fumo.” 
“O-Okay!” I threw my uniform and belongings into the locker. 
Moffle was as strict as ever, but I was surprised to hear him say that he’d sew up my outfit. Maybe he really was a nice guy? 
“What’s with that warm-and-gooey expression? Are you thinking ‘maybe he’s really a nice guy,’ fumo?” 
“Ah, um... well...” 
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I just know that leaving a costume with a little girl like you is a recipe for a ruined costume, fumo. Pain in my ass, heaven’s sake...” 
Okay, so he wasn’t a nice guy. He was surprisingly sharp, though. So annoying! 
“Your first job today will be assisting me in Entrance Square, fumo. Follow me.”

Moffle-san and I walked down the underground tunnel to Entrance Square. 
Oh, just so you know! From now on, I’ll be referring to Moffle as Moffle-san. There was something about the gravitas he put out that made me feel uncomfortable addressing him without an honorific. Besides, using “-san” would help me to distinguish this Moffle from the one on my bed! Thus, Moffle-san. 
Entrance Square was the big plaza just beyond the park entrance; it was the first place the guests saw after they came through the gate. 
“We’re going onstage now, fumo. We’ll be in front of the guests, so stay alert, fumo.” 
“Y-Yes sir!” 
“I’ll be entertaining the guests, and you’ll be helping me. Keep an eye on the time, too; every thirty minutes I get a break, so you’ll guide me backstage then, fumo. If a guest wants a picture, you’ll take it for them, fumo. I’ll also do some juggling, so you’ll hold onto my things for that, fumo. Also, if one of those guests takes too much of my time, it’s your job to gently steer them away and let the next guest through, fumo. There’s a lot of other things, too, so you’ll need to play it by ear. Anything you don’t get?” 
I didn’t even know what to say. He had run through the explanation so quickly, it was all a muddle in my mind. But Moffle-san was glaring at me. I knew if I said the wrong thing, he would lay into me. 
“I-I’m fine... I think.” 
“Good. Then let’s go, fumo.” 
Moffle-san made a few minor adjustments to his outfit, then left the room. Petrified, I followed him. I never knew people actually stepped with the same arm and leg before, but here I was, doing it. What an educational experience! 
The moment we arrived in Entrance Square, though, I felt transported. I’d spent all morning in the dark, gloomy backstage area, so this was my first time onstage for real. “Ah...” 
A cheerful melody played. Fountains danced in whimsical rhythms. Sculptures and buildings, in all different colors, sparkled in the sun. Macaron, Tiramii, and minor characters like Wanipii were out and about, greeting the guests. Some gave out balloons, some played the flute, some did pantomime—all kinds of things. They were such amazing performers, it was hard to believe they were really people in costumes. 
Amagi Brilliant Park was infamous around western Tokyo as a crummy amusement park, but... That just wasn’t true. This place was a wonderland! 
“This plaza was in an awful state until last month, fumo,” Moffle-san whispered to me. “We all worked hard to fix it up, fumo. Even with no budget, we all chipped in... It was a lot of hard, late nights, but I’d say we got it looking presentable, fumo.” 
After everything that had happened that morning, I had honestly grown disillusioned with this park. But now, I was starting to feel like I wanted to see a little more of this place—this place where I worked. That was the mysterious magic that this view had worked on me. 
“Now, let’s start the fun, fumo.” Moffle-san headed for the center of the plaza. As he walked away from me, he put out an aura that was difficult to describe. 
I felt like I had seen it somewhere before. It reminded me of... my father, I think. My father had been a firefighter. Sometimes, he had had to leave home on an urgent call, and when he walked out of the house, he looked a bit like that. Even though they were very different men, in very different professions... I wondered why I felt that way. It was hard to say. 
“Oh, Yuna-chan! Look! It’s Moffle!” A family with a little girl walked right up to Moffle-san. 
Moffle-san tilted his head cutely and waved. The girl hesitated a little at first, then ran right up to him and grabbed his sleeve. Moffle patted the girl’s head with his plush hand. The girl finally smiled; her parents were beaming. 
The Moffle-san before me now wasn’t that nasty cast member who had berated the new employees. He was the sweet, kind Moffle that I hugged every night. It was like some kind of spell had been cast. 
Of course, I couldn’t just stand here admiring him. I was failing in my job as an assistant! 
The guest family wanted to take a picture with Moffle, but I was just standing there! The next thing I knew, they were asking another guest to take their picture! Moffle-san glared at me. So scary! 
After interacting with the guests for a while, Moffle-san held out his hand to me. He was asking me for his juggling balls, but I didn’t realize that. I just stuck my own right hand out, like I was asking for a dog’s paw. Moffle-san glared at me. So scary! 
An elderly guest asked me for directions. He seemed to be looking for an attraction called Aquario, but I had no idea where it was. While I panicked and stammered, he eventually took out his pamphlet map and wandered off on his own. Moffle-san’s eyes stared daggers into me. So scary! 
The next thing I knew, we had spent an hour in that plaza. I felt like I was forgetting something important. That’s right! He was supposed to take a break every thirty minutes! I was supposed to beckon to Moffle-san and take him backstage... wasn’t I? 
Perhaps tired of waiting, Moffle-san turned and ran off backstage, his feet squeaking as he went. What else could I do but follow after him? 
“You... You incompetent!” Moffle-san screamed at me as we made it backstage again. “Your job is to assist me, fumo! You did nothing! What are we even paying you for?! Do you even want to be here?!” 
“Um... Um, sorry...” 
“Here we go again! Is “um” and “sorry” all you ever say, fumo? Do you speak Japanese, fumo? Were you born in the Ukraine, fumo? I’d be better off by myself at this rate, fumo!” 
“I’m s-so—” 
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry, fumo!” 
“Ah... wahhhh...” Lacking any idea of what to say, I burst out crying. I knew that crying at work was bad, but that’s just the way women are, you know? I couldn’t help it! 
We were entering the usual pattern. My classmates were patient, doing everything they could to look after me, yet I always betrayed their expectations. Eventually they’d get annoyed, get disappointed, and then throw a few words of consolation at me before walking away. 
Moffle-san was going to do the same thing. It was inevitable. After all, I was worthless. 
“Ahh... sor—ahh... um...” While I choked and sniffled, Moffle-san let out a deep sigh. 
An awkward silence reigned. Next, he was going to say, “Fine, you can go,” because those were the simplest words anyone could use to get my worthless self out of their sight. I wished he’d just say them already. Then I could just go home and bury myself in my bed. I could go back to being my usual pathetic self. 
But here’s what Moffle-san said instead: “You’ll do a better job next time, fumo. Is there anything you don’t get?”

Moffle-san had no intention of letting me run away. He dragged me out in front of the guests and forced me to interact with them again. 
Obviously, I wasn’t going to get the hang of things any time soon. It was pathetic. The guests sighed at me, scoffed at me, yelled at me... and each time, I started to panic. I think Moffle-san and the rest of the cast must have covered for me then, but I was in such a panic that I don’t actually know what they did. 
I was so afraid, so self-pitying, so embarrassed... I was on the verge of tears again and again! Each time I started to lose my composure, Moffle-san would take me backstage and ask, “Is there anything you don’t get?” 
At first, I couldn’t say anything. But the third or fourth time, I timidly asked him: “U-Um... If I want to take someone’s picture... how do I ask them for it?” 
Then, instead of yelling, Moffle-san just said calmly: “Moffu. When that happens, you can say ‘Sir (or Ma’am), would you like a photo with Moffle?’ Say it to me for practice, fumo.” 
“...Yes. Um...” 
“Go on.” 
“...S-Sir... Would you like a photo with Moffle-san?” 
“Not ‘Moffle-san.’ Say ‘Moffle,’ fumo. One more time.” 
“S-Sir... Would you like a photo with Moffle?” 
“Don’t stutter. One more time.” 
“Sir, would you... like a photo with Moffle?” 
Moffle-san looked at me carefully for a moment, then gave a small nod. “...Good enough. You see how it works now, fumo?” 
“Y-Yes.” 
“Then is there anything else you don’t get?”

My miserable day came to an end. Exhausted, I cleaned out the House of Sweets as Moffle-san ordered, and then changed back into street clothes in the cast bathroom. I was under a ton of stress, and I felt completely numb, but I still had to go put my uniform on Moffle-san’s work bench. 
The uniform was covered in my gross sweat, and I didn’t really want to hand it over to someone else... but I couldn’t actually say that. I folded up the uniform and was heading to the work bench when I heard some people talking around the corner. 
It sounded like Moffle-san and Kanie-senpai. 
“...So, how’d it go?” Kanie-senpai asked. 
“It was a disaster, fumo. She can’t even talk to the guests. She actually started crying at one point. If anyone was going to cry, it should have been me, fumo!” 
They were talking about me. They were talking about my day at work. My arms and legs, limp from exhaustion, suddenly tensed up again. 
“Any hope for her?” Kanie-senpai wanted to know. “If she’s not cut out for the service industry, we could move her to backstage work...” 
“I’m not sure. It might not be about that, fumo.” 
“Really?” 
“Moffu. Seiya, you were a performer once, right?” 
“...Yes, and?” There was a stiffness in Kanie-senpai’s voice. 
“How’d you feel the first time you went on stage, fumo? You were nervous, weren’t you?” 
“Hmm... I suppose I was.” 
“You’ve got more guts than most people, fumo, but I bet even you got nervous out there. So you can probably imagine what it was like for a little introvert like her, fumo.” 
“Hmm...” 
“Whether it’s an audience of hundreds or just two or three, putting yourself out there is scary, fumo. It’s really, really scary. So, ah... you know. It’s hard to tell from just the first day, fumo.” 
It was a surprisingly evasive statement. Kanie-senpai seemed to pick up on that, too. 
“What’s this, hmm? You’re covering for a part-timer?” 
“I wouldn’t say...” 
“That’s what it sounds like.” 
“Moffu. Anyway, I was especially hard on her today. If she runs away because of that, it’ll be a sign that she’s got nothing to offer us, fumo. She wouldn’t last long even if I was kind to her.” 
“That’s fine, just drop the agoge, okay?” 
“Roger that, fumo.” 
I heard Kanie-senpai’s footsteps moving away, which suggested that their talk was over. Having listened in the whole time and not knowing what to do, I just stood there, frozen. I was surprised to hear them having such a laid-back conversation after they’d been at each other’s throats that morning. Maybe they were actually friends? And... Kanie-senpai used to be a performer? What did that mean? He seemed to have no friends other than Sento-senpai(?) at school, and I’d been convinced that he had no social skills at all. 
“Hey, rookie. Did you catch all that, fumo?” 
“Eeek?!” I let out a screech. It seemed Moffle-san knew that I was listening in! Before I could come up with a good excuse though, he was in front of me. 
“Um, um, sorry, sorry. I... I...” 
“Ahh, it’s fine, fumo.” Moffle-san waved it away dismissively with his paw. “I was going to explain all of that to you, anyway. This just saves me time, fumo.” 
Moffle-san snatched the uniform from my hands, then squeaked back to his work space. Unsure of what to do, I followed after him. 
“...I know you had a hard time today, fumo. Seiya told me you’re a first year in high school, right? ‘I don’t fit in at my new school, so I’ll get a job and have fun there.’ Is that what you’ve deluded yourself into believing, fumo?” 
“Ah...” He was right on the money. Could everyone here read minds? “H-How... did you know?” 
“It was obvious from watching you today, fumo. That’s what it means to be an adult, fumo.” Moffle-san’s words were really insightful, but I felt a little uncomfortable having a plush rodent dissecting my psyche... “...Anyway, what I told Seiya earlier was the truth. I was especially hard on you today, fumo.” 
“Um, but then...” 
“Now, I’ll also be hard on you tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. I’m going to keep grinding away at you forever, fumo. Don’t underestimate the service industry.” 
“Nngh...” 
“Better quit now if you don’t like it, fumo. I won’t have you wasting both of our time.” 
“......” 
“Got it? Then we’re done here. Dismissed, fumo.”

The next day was Sunday morning, and I didn’t want to go to work at all. I didn’t have an appetite, and my stomach hurt, but I thought I should at least drink some milk. When I peeked into the fridge, I also saw some apple pie left over from last night; Mom had made it to celebrate my first day at work. 
She’d cut back on the sugar so it wasn’t incredibly delicious, but it was still a really good pie. She had left a piece in front of Dad on the family altar, and prayed fervently. 
It was morning now. Mom was off at her job at a family restaurant, so I was alone in the house. I could have just pulled the covers over my head and pretended like none of it had ever happened. 
But. But... I had eaten that apple pie for breakfast, and the sweet-sourness had brought tears to my eyes. 
Just one more day. I would work one more day at that awful place. If I could manage that, then surely the apple pie would forgive me.

“You’re late! Get us ready to open right away, fumo!” Moffle-san yelled. Such an awful way to treat someone! Even though I’d made it to work, fighting the urge to throw up the whole way! 
I ran to my locker. He’d finished the final sewing on my uniform, and put it up neatly on a hanger. I tried it on, and it fit perfectly. He’d done an amazing job. 
The minute I finished changing, Moffle-san took me all around, telling me “do this, do that.” I was rushing around everywhere and so busy that I barely had time to think, let alone worry. 
There were a few other part-time workers in Moffle’s House of Sweets, and compared to the industrious Moffle-san, they were all pretty laid-back. They didn’t get yelled at, though. They seemed to know what they were doing, so they just kept working at their own leisurely pace without needing Moffle-san to tell them anything. 
“He’s really biting your head off, huh?” one of my senpai workers said to me in the brief time before the park opened and the guests arrived. “The old man’s really thrown himself back into things since they dodged the bullet of the park closing last month. He’d been really slacking before.” This senpai part-timer had been working at the House of Sweets for about a year. He was in college, he said, so he was going to be quitting soon to look for a real job. 
But, despite screaming at me as much as he did, Moffle-san wasn’t as hard on my senpais. Why was that? I asked. 
“Oh, well... Probably just because you screw up all the time.” 
It was such a reasonable answer that I couldn’t even object. So depressing! 
While we finished up the last of our odd jobs, opening time arrived and the guests started trickling in. Moffle-san and I were waiting at the end of the attraction route to take photos with the guests when they finished the course. It wasn’t all that different from the work I’d done at Entrance Square yesterday, so I managed to get through it this time without getting too many glares thrown my way. 
The real trouble came about an hour later. After seeing off a group from a senior organization, Moffle-san spoke to me. “Okay, we’ve done enough here, fumo. I have a meeting I need to attend, so I’ll need you to sub for me, fumo.” 
“Er?” I asked nervously. 
“This way, this way. C’mon, fumo.” 
Moffle-san led me to the backstage storeroom and offered me a Moffle-san suit, complete with patissier’s costume and cook’s hat, plush fur, and cute round fluffy head. 
“Um, um... what is this?” I asked. 
“It’s my double, fumo. I need you to put this on and take commemorative photos at the House of Sweets while I do some work backstage.” 
“Ah, right... But, um...” 
What did he mean, “my double”? I mean, I knew that amusement parks usually had spare suits for their costume characters. But while the spare was well-made, it was clearly a costume, and looked all the shabbier compared to Moffle-san’s. It had none of that realism and life-like aura. 
I was a little hesitant to wear the costume of someone whose real face I’d never even seen, but if I had to wear one, I’d prefer it to be the better quality one. So I worked hard to assert myself. 
“Um, i-if I could... I’d like to wear that one instead...” 
Moffle-san knitted his brow dubiously (it really was a well-made costume) and turned to look behind him. There was just an old wall there. 
“Fumo?” Moffle-san pointed at himself with his paw, as if to say “What, you mean me?” 
“Yes... Could I have your costume?” 
“Ahh. Moffu.” Moffle-san nodded in understanding. “I can’t take it off, fumo.” 
“...?” I was confused. 
“I said, I can’t take it off, fumo. There’s no one inside.” 
I didn’t understand what he was saying. I’d heard that theme parks put up a front about their mascot characters, claiming “there’s no one inside,” but... 
“You don’t get it, fumo? Ah, what a pain in the...” Moffle-san muttered to himself, then opened his mouth wide and chomped down on my hand. Rather than feeling cloth, as I was expecting, my fingers were greeted by the wetness of a living thing. There was... a tongue?! And teeth?! 
“Eek?!” 
It wasn’t especially slimy or unpleasant. Having my hand in Moffle-san’s moffly mouth felt more like it did when I was little and let my pet hamster nom on my finger. 
“Wha? Huh? Wa...?!” I withdrew my hand and backed into a corner at full speed. 
Moffle-san didn’t pursue me. He just snorted and folded his arms, smacking his ? lips as if he’d just tasted something unpleasant. 
“You get it, fumo? I’m just me.” 
“S-Sexual harassment...” 
“Oh, pipe down. I just wanted to get my point across in the quickest way possible, fumo. ...The point is, I come from the magical realm, Maple Land. I’m the real deal. It’s not a top secret thing, so it’ll save us time if I just tell you now, fumo. Get it? Now put that costume on and double for me, fumo.” Moffle-san shoved the costume head into my hands.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of confusion. Moffle-san had said there was nobody ‘inside the suit’; that he was a real fairy from a magical land. Which meant that Moffle-san was “the real Moffle.” 
It was awful. It was cruel. It was too much. 
The kind, sweet Moffle; the Fairy of Sweets, Moffle... he just couldn’t be that rotten, nasty, high-and-mighty bully, Moffle-san! 
Making matters worse was a conversation we had that evening. He was eating some donuts brought in as refreshments, and let out a sigh: “Donuts again? I’m not fond of sweet things, fumo...” 
“B-But aren’t you the Fairy of Sweets?” I objected. “You’re supposed to love donuts...” 
“Ah, that’s all ad copy,” he scoffed. “We did this collaboration with Señor Donut... you know, that famous chain.” 
“Yes, I love them!” 
“For the campaign, they decided—without my input—to say that I like donuts, so now I have to eat donuts every day during my breaks. What am I, some American cop? It’s just annoying, fumo.” 
“Um, then... what sweets do you like?” 
“Well... if pressed, I’d say salami, I reckon.” 
Isn’t that a drinking snack, not a sweet? I thought. 
“Ah, just talking about this makes me want a beer, fumo. I’m so sick of Hoppy all the time. Maybe I’ll have a beer, just for tonight...” 
“Y-You drink alcohol?” 
“Of course I do. I only work so I can drink, fumo.” Then he pulled out a cigarette from somewhere or other and lit it with a 100 yen lighter. 
The brand was “Hope”— Short Hope, also known as Shoppo. Very austere. 
But then, I thought, he’s just an old man! 
“What’s with that expression? You’re thinking ‘he’s just an old man,’ is that it, fumo?” 
“Gack!” 
“Right on the money, eh? But I’ve never actually seen someone say ‘gack’ out loud before, fumo.” 
“But, but... aren’t you a fairy?! Aren’t you a mascot who gives hope to children?! If you drink and you smoke, it’s... it’s...” 
Moffle-san glared at me. So scary! “It’s what?” 
“Well... it’s... Sorry.” 
While I lowered my eyes, Moffle-san breathed out a plume of smoke, though his expression was sour as he did. “I refrain while I’m working. And you should hold off on the lectures until you’re actually decent at your job, fumo. ...By the way.” Moffle-san peered seriously into my face. 
“Yes?” 
“You’ve grown rather talkative, fumo.” 
“Ah...” 
He was right. Now that he mentioned it, I had had quite a lot of back-and-forth with Moffle-san today. Even though we’d barely talked the day before... How surprising! How mysterious! 
“Anyway, I still think you’re too soft. With the time left in the day, I’m going to put you through your paces even more.” 
Immediately, the world around me went black.

After a few more hours of scolding and verbal abuse, my second day at the park came to an end. 
Tomorrow was Monday. I was supposed to head to work the minute school was over, but I wasn’t actually planning on going back. My life as a part-time worker would come to an end after a mere two days. 
I’d forced myself to work despite hating it. I’d done enough, in my opinion. I’d really pushed myself. 
When I got home, Mom asked me “How did it go?” but I just said I was tired and went to bed, so that I didn’t have to tell her anything. The thought of telling her that I planned to quit was depressing, and I just didn’t have the mental energy for it. 
Um, yes. I really did intend to quit. But then the next morning, when I showed up at school, something strange happened. 
“Ah... morning, Chujo-san.” It was that girl from before who, as it happened, had been unanimously elected class rep a few days ago. She’d stopped even saying ‘hello’ to me most of the time, but since we were in front of the shoe cabinets, I guess the timing and all made her feel obligated to talk to me. 
“Ah, good morning,” I replied casually. For some reason, her jaw dropped in response. 
Then, during second period gym class, this happened: 
My gym teacher was... some might say earnest, some might say callous, but either way she liked singling out students who didn’t show enough enthusiasm for her liking. She’d shout “I can’t hear you!” and after watching the student cringe in response, she would cheerfully tell them “You must be anemic! Eat more meat!” and such. Yes, she was the worst kind of person for me to deal with, and had already singled me out once last week. 
“Great, everyone’s here! Let’s time your sprints! Oh, heck, I forgot my stopwatch! Um... hey, you! The little one!” She pointed me out. 
“Yes?” I said. 
“You’ll fetch it from the staff office, right?” she demanded. 
“Yes ma’am,” I responded politely. “Where is the staff office?” 
“Hm? Ah... oh, er... Just find a teacher and ask them,” she instructed. 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
All I had done was answer her and then head for the office. But for some reason, the other girls were all squinting at me. Had I said something strange? 
The same thing happened a few more times that day. Someone would address me, I would respond, and the person would react with surprise.

“Of course that’s what they’re doing. You’ve been able to respond like a normal person,” Sento Isuzu-senpai told me at lunch. 
I had planned on running off and eating by myself as usual, but she had come to my classroom and personally invited me to join her. Now we were sitting next to a flowerbed in the courtyard, eating our lunches together. 
She asked me how I was doing. I said that everyone was acting really weird, and that had been her response. She also mentioned that Kanie-senpai was absent from school today. Apparently he was running all around, trying to find ways to raise money for the park (though why a leader of the part-time staff needed to do that, I had no idea). 
Isuzu-senpai’s words caught me off-guard. “Huh?” I asked. 
“Normally you would cringe and end up in a loop of ‘um’ and ‘sorry,’” she told me. “But when I invited you to join me here, you simply said ‘Okay, let’s go’ like any normal person would. Even I was a bit surprised.” 
“......” She was right, I realized. Isuzu-senpai wasn’t normally an expressive person, so I hadn’t noticed any surprise on her face, but... Ah, by the way, from now on I’ll be calling her Isuzu-senpai instead of Sento-senpai. It sounds cuter! 
“I heard about the way Moffle has been treating you, and I thought you might be thinking of quitting,” she explained. “So I thought I might invite you out here to see how you were feeling...” 
“I see,” I told her. “Well... I’m sorry to make you take time out of your day...” 
“You see? You wouldn’t have been able to say that last week either,” she pointed out. 
“Ah...” I had even surprised myself, that time. The things she said were definitely true. But what was going on here? What had happened to me? 
“M-Moffle-san told me that... that the people who work at AmaBri are real fairies from real magical lands,” I blurted out. 
Isuzu-senpai’s brow wrinkled a little bit. “He told you that already? Well... it’s not as if it’s highly classified information, but...” 
“I was wondering if Moffle-san might have cast some kind of spell on me...” 
“I doubt it. Moffle-kyo does not have that kind of power, though he is a brilliant combatant...” 
“C-Combatant?” I was surprised to hear him described in such a way. And what did she mean by ‘kyo’? Kyo, like lord? ‘Lord Moffle?’ 
“Don’t worry about it,” she advised me. “My point is that he can’t use magic, at least based on what I know.” 
“But, but... Then why is it I can talk normally... normally to people?!” 
“I don’t know...” Isuzu-senpai tilted her head and popped a tamagoyaki roll into her mouth. It was a discreet (but very cute) mannerism. So amazing! “Perhaps it’s a result of his training,” she guessed. “It may have been like shock therapy for you...” 
“Hmm...” Of course, that made a lot of sense. Moffle-san had given me such a kick in the pants that now, compared to the torture of having to interact with guests, talking to my schoolmates seemed like the easiest thing in the world. And compared to Moffle-san, the gym teacher who so used to scare me was like a plate of takoyaki next to a venomous blue-ringed octopus. I know that’s a weird metaphor, but that’s what it felt like! 
So, now I was feeling a little conflicted; it was really great that I could interact with people normally now. It would be amazing if I could keep it up forever! 
But I didn’t want to admit that it was thanks to Moffle-san. 
I’m not the kind of simpleton who would just go running up to Moffle-san in tears, thanking him and shouting “I’m going to work at AmaBri forever!” My self-esteem isn’t so rotten that I’d join a cult or LGAT seminars based on a little minor self-improvement! Remember: though I might be little, I’m not a child! 
“You seem rather unhappy,” Isuzu said, gazing at me from the side. 
“Huh? O-Oh... um... sorry.” 
“Ah, you’re back.” 
“Ah...” 
Isuzu-senpai let out a small snort—it was hard to tell if it was a chuckle or an expression of disgust—and finished off the last of the side dishes in her lunch. She had chicken kara-age. It looked really good. 
“So, do you think you’ll stay with the job?” she asked. 
“Ah... um... well...” I wasn’t sure. Actually, I had planned to send her an email or something, saying that I wanted to quit. But while I had worked up enough courage to do that, I wasn’t ready to say it to her face. 
“Um... um... I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I’m so—” 
Oh no! I’d regressed, just like that! I felt totally hopeless, and that feeling just made me feel even more hesitant. It was a deadly spiral. 
“U-Um, I’m taking... today off...” I couldn’t tell her I was quitting, but I at least managed to get that much out. 
“I see. I’ll let them know.” Isuzu-senpai said nothing more than that, and went back to eating her lunch in silence.

Whenever my anxiety reached its peak, that’s when it was time for solo karaoke. I decided I’d sing and sing, not paying attention to the time. 
First, I warmed up with some Vocaloid songs: “Matroyshka” and “Senbonzakura,” then “Setsuna Trip.” 
After five or six songs, my vocal cords felt nice and loose. 
Then, on to the anisong. I started with a passionate rendition of a recent favorite, “Yasashisa no Riyuu.” Then I went on to “SWINGING” and “Minamikaze.” All such great songs! Then I sang “The Real Folk Blues”— that’s the Cowboy Bebop ending, and while they call it blues, it’s really more like enka. (Though that’s what makes it so great, in my opinion.) 
From there, it was a natural step to more enka. I’m not sure why, but singing “Kitasakaba” and “Michinoku Hitoritabi” put me in an English mood. 
It was time to try some Western songs! The lyrics were in English, but if I knew a song well, I could sing it. It wasn’t some die-hard geek thing; I had learned the songs from listening to my father’s CDs, and as a result I could get pretty good grades on English songs. 
First, I went with the Nirvana classic, “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” That’s a great song for when you’re feeling down. The desperation, the feeling of going deeper and darker, yet still riding high! So now that I was riding high, I sang a few more songs in that vein. This was going great! 
Then, I moved to the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. But I was feeling sad today (well, and every day), so I went with “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” as sort of a cooldown. Nothing, nothing, nothiiiiiing! It felt good to hold that note so long! 
JB (my nickname for James Brown) had picked me back up again, so I followed up with more JB: “Living in America.” Such a cheery, silly, bubbly song. ...Why did songs like these help to fire up someone as timid as me? I couldn’t say. 
But right now, I was all about America: “Super highways! Coast to coast! Just easy to get anywhere... Atlanta… Chicago! L.A.! Wow! Living-inna-merica!” 
“......?!” Just then, I froze up. I was, of course, in a private parlor, but through the smoked glass of the soundproof door I could see three plush creatures peering in at me. 
It was Moffle-san, Macaron-san, and Tiramii-san. They were pressed against the glass, watching me with the strangest expressions... all screwed-up faces and wide eyes. 
The English lyrics continued to scroll across the old-fashioned CRT. They hastily waved their paws and hoofs, as if to say “keep singing,” but I was so shocked that I’d locked up, so while the music kept playing, I just stood there stock still. 
On the other side of the glass, the group let out a sigh. Then they opened the door and came in. 
“Aww, I guess we really did interrupt, mii. Sorry, okay?” Tiramii-san said. 
“We come to this karaoke place a lot, ron. And this one employee, see... he’s been telling us all about this really awesome customer who comes in, even though she never talks to him...” Macaron-san added. 
“We couldn’t have been more surprised to learn that it was you, fumo,” Moffle-san chimed in. 
According to Macaron-san, the employee (the one who was always patronizing to me when I paid) had encouraged them all to listen to me. 
The doors were only nominally soundproof, which meant voices could leak out into the halls. So if you stood right next to the door, you could probably hear me singing. 
I suddenly realized that the room clock read 9:00 p.m. 
AmaBri closed at 7:00 today, so it wasn’t that unusual to think they might stop by a karaoke parlor near the station on the way back from work. (Though “usual” was also not a word I’d use for amusement park mascots doing after-work karaoke...) 
“Um, um, um!” My eyes began to fill with tears of panic, but Moffle-san stopped me with a “moffu.” 
“Isuzu told me you were taking off work today. Well, we all feel that way sometimes. No need to cry, fumo.” 
“Um, but...” 
“That’s not to say I’m not angry, of course.” 
“Yeek?!” 
I was so obviously afraid that Macaron-san gently patted my shoulder. “Don’t you worry, ron. He might say some things, but he’d never strike a girl. He’s old-fashioned that way, ron.” 
“Macaron...” Moffle-san growled. 
“Oh, calm down. It’s the least we can do for the nice performance she gave us, ron.” 
“P-Performance?” I squeaked. 
“Your singing. You were as great as that employee said, mii. You even blew mii away! Let’s sing together at the Alamo some time!” 
“A-Alamo?” What was an ‘Alamo?’ I felt like I’d heard the name before... 
“...It’s a love hotel near AmaBri, fumo. I’ll give you a word of warning: never go anywhere with this mongrel.” 
“Th-That’s miin! I was just trying to get to know this cute li’l loli...” 
“Shut up,” Moffle and Macaron hissed simultaneously. 
“Mii...” Tiramii wheezed, deflated. 
“...Anyway, it was a great performance, ron. You sure do find talent in the most unexpected places... I wish I could ask you to change postings to my Music Theater, ron.” 
“A-Ah...” I had no idea what Macaron-san was talking about. Great performance? Talent? What? Was he talking about those songs I was singing just to satisfy myself? I mean, I was flattered, but he was still exaggerating, right? 
I flashed back to a memory of when I was younger. We were in middle school, and going on a field trip. One of the popular girls in the class was singing an idol group song on the bus. Everyone loved it. 
Right after her, my name was drawn as the next singer. Fighting back my desire to cry, I sang, and everyone went silent. Nobody said anything. I’m still pretty sure I must have sounded awful. 
The girl who sang before me never talked to me again. I still don’t know how to take what happened there. 
“Well, anyron... We came in late, so it’s obligatory catch-up time! Hmm, what to pick... let’s see...” Macaron-san suddenly picked up the remote and started messing with it. What on earth was he doing? 
“Move it or lose it, mii!” 
“Ah! Hey!” Tiramii banged a few buttons on the other remote and then mercilessly pressed the “send” button. Immediately, a cheerful intro began to play. It was the opening song for a superhero(?) anime that had recently been a hit. 
“Um, um...” I tried to object. 
“Gokigen you doukashitan da mii? Kao o mireba isshun de wakaru miiii! Hooligan, hooligaaan! Sesso nai deeesu!” He’d just started singing. I couldn’t stop him. 
At some point, the nominally soundproof door had ended up closed, and we’d shifted to a four-person karaoke arrangement. Macaron-san had put in his song order, and was now playing a tambourine for accompaniment. Moffle-san chose his own song with a cautious scowl. 
Tiramii-san had thrown himself into it so hard that he was shrieking. “...uchitoritaaai kachikoshitaaai! Tsumari Hanshin fan ga acchi-kocchi!” 
Then we moved on to a karaoke competition. 
Macaron-san led off with “Ai Senshi” from Gundam, and the others booed; they seemed to think that was an exclusively end-of-the-night song. 
Moffle-san sang a fiery Western song I’d never heard before: “Body Count,” by a person called Ice T. It was an invigorating song that felt like a blend of rap and heavy metal. 
“Tell us what to do?” he called. 
“Puff you!” they shouted back. 
“Tell us what to do?” 
“Puff you!” 
I could tell he was singing something angry and vulgar, but I just clapped along anyway.

For over two hours, Moffle-san and the others drank and sang. Each time I tried to bow out, they just shouted “Don’t run, sing!” and I would have to play along. 
I was getting desperate. I sang George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex.” It was a sexy song from the 1980s, and I sang it with all the eroticism I could muster. 
“Hey! Hey, now! Act your age, fumo!” 
“What a song!” Macaron-san chided. “Your dad’s not gonna like that!” 
“Oh, boy. Lyrics like those from such a young-sounding voice... I’m reporting you to Agnes-san, mii!” 
Everyone was so fired up, it was feeling like a real party. Although, this just proved even more that they were nothing but a bunch of old men... 
The more they sang, the more they drank. By the end, all three were stumbling drunk. 
As we sang “Ginga Senpu Braiger” and “Akuu Daisakusen Srungle” together, the energy was through the roof. To top it off, we sang “Ah, Sankan’ou” from Gyakuten Ippatsuman. 

“Ugh... Yamamoto Masayuki is the best, ron. A treasure of humanity, ron.” 
“I feel gross, mii. I drank way too much of that cheap-ass shochu...” 
“C’mon, let’s go, fumo. They tack on extra for everything here, fumo.” 
I was afraid they were expecting me to treat them, but thankfully, they handled the bill themselves. 
As we left the karaoke building, I spoke up timidly: “Um, um... I’d better get going...” 
“You’re kidding, ron! We were gonna take you somewhere even better, ron!” 
“The night is still young, mii! ...Urp. Blurrrrrrgh...” Tiramii-san puked behind a telephone pole. He was the worst. Macaron-san put an arm around my shoulders, as if getting ready to lead me somewhere. 
“But, but... ah, Moffle-san?” I looked to Moffle-san for help. He might have been scary, but he also seemed like the most sensible member of the group. As my direct superior at work, he’d probably let me escape. 
“Moffu... Burp.” His eyes were glazed over, and he was drinking right from a bottle of Japanese sake that he held in his right hand. 
“M-Moffle-san?” I tried again. 
“Ah, c’mon,” he finally answered. 
“Huh?” 
“I said c’mon, fumo. C’mon. Come on.” 
“Ah... um, um...” I fumbled, trying to come up with an excuse. 
“Just come on. Don’t worry so much. It’ll be educational, fumo!” 
“No!!!” And so I was dragged out into the city at night.

Two hours later... 
“I’m so, so, so sorry,” Moffle-san, Tiramii-san, and Macaron-san chorused together. We were standing in the parking lot of a girlie bar. I was on the verge of tears, while Moffle-san and the others prostrated themselves before me. 
I’d sent an SOS to Isuzu-senpai via email, and she’d come running right away. The three mascots had been flirting excitedly with the girls in the club when she arrived, put a bullet into each of them, and then dragged us all outside. Once there, she pointed the gun at them again and commanded them to get down on their hands and knees and apologize. 
Three mascots on all fours in a grimy parking lot at night... It was a nightmare. It was a sight I hoped no child ever had to see. I didn’t want to see it either! 
“I know we live in an age where power harassment is commonplace...” Isuzu scolded them. “But how could you bring an underage girl into a place like that?” There was quiet malice in Isuzu-senpai’s voice. She really was terrifying. 
“But... but we weren’t going to let her drink, mii!” 
“Yeah, yeah. We were being really careful about that, ron.” 
Macaron-san and Tiramii-san both defended themselves. In fact, I’d gotten a lot of “Want some, ron? C’mon, try it!” peer pressure, but I decided not to mention that. 
“...That’s not the problem and you know it. Now, Moffle-kyo, how could you let this happen? This is hardly standard behavior from you. 
“Moffu... Hmm, I’m sorry, fumo. I had a little too much to drink, I think...” Moffle-san looked uncomfortable, too. He was talking like he had something stuck in his back teeth (even though I don’t actually know if he had back teeth). 
“Well, we’re sorry about this, newbie. You can go on home... Er... has the last train run?” 
“Of course it has,” Isuzu-senpai said. “It’s 1:00 in the morning.” 
“...Ah, true, fumo. Then get yourself a taxi, all right? Will this be enough to cover it, fumo?” He produced a wallet from somewhere or other and pressed a few 1,000 yen bills into my hand. 
“Ah, um, I’ve never been in a taxi before...” While I panicked, Isuzu-senpai returned the bills to him. 
“It’s close enough to walk,” she said. “I’ll get her home.” 
“I... I see, fumo. Well, then... erm, take care, fumo.” Moffle-san must have still been pretty drunk, because he limped away on unsteady legs. Tiramii-san, who seemed equally unsteady, lent him his shoulder, and they started heading out of the parking lot. 
“We have practice for the live show tomorrow,” Isuzu-senpai reminded them. “Will you be able to make it?” 
“Yeah, yeah... I’m fine... I’m fine, fumo.” 
“Mii... I want some ramen, mii... Something with really rich pork broth...” 
“Better not, ron. I’d just barf it up... urp.” 
And so the three of them left. For some reason, I wasn’t mad. As I watched them walk away, I just felt pity, for reasons I couldn’t describe. 
“I’m sorry about that,” Isuzu-senpai said. “Were you frightened?” 
“No. Well...” Since I had emailed her asking for help, I couldn’t really say anything else. I had been scared and bothered, for sure. But looking back now— 
No, I shouldn’t go there.

At any rate, I decided to keep up with my job a little longer. One thing had changed, though: Isuzu-senpai had arranged a transfer for me. I was moved from Moffle-san’s House of Sweets to Macaron-san’s Music Theater; Adachi Eiko-san went to the House of Sweets in my place. 
“You and Moffle don’t seem very compatible,” was Isuzu-senpai’s reasoning. 
I knew she was making a fuss over me, but I couldn’t tell her not to. And it was true that I was relieved to be away from Moffle-san... 
My new superior, Macaron-san, was a pretty laid-back guy, and working for him wasn’t as grueling as working for Moffle-san was. He seemed to have realized that I got stage fright, so he just decided not to put me onstage. If it was just a lot of backstage work, I could keep up, more or less. 
I ran into Moffle-san backstage fairly often while I was working. He’d ask, “How are you doing, fumo?” 
I’d say, “Oh, um, I’m learning, I think.” 
Moffle-san would mutter an indifferent “I see,” and then go about his business. It seemed like there was something lonely in the way he walked away... Or was it just my imagination? 
Incidentally, Kanie-senpai still didn’t seem to care about me at all. We occasionally passed each other backstage, but even if I said hello, he’d just say “hey,” and no more. Well... that was understandable. He seemed to be in a constant state of busyness, pretty much. He was taking a lot of time off from school, too. 
At work, they were doing renovations on the attractions. I don’t know where they’d come from, but all of a sudden we had a whole bunch of mole-like mascots (apparently called the Mogute Clan), who finished the remodels in just a few days. So surprising! Could this be magic? (Well actually, I’d heard they’d had to pay for it...) 
With all that going on, a week ended up passing; after all that stressing I’d done over quitting, I couldn’t believe I’d made it this long. 
But things at school were back to the way they’d been before. I still couldn’t say hello to people, and I still mumbled when my gym teacher singled me out. My other conversations went more or less the same way—I guess it goes to show that it’s not that easy for a person to change. 
My passion, or I guess the novelty of the job, was fading, too. Why had I chosen to work at this park in the first place? It was supposed to be about changing myself, but I hadn’t changed at all. 
At school, Isuzu-senpai sometimes said hi to me, but other than that I barely talked to anyone. After school, I went straight to the park and did nothing but clean stuff, carry stuff, and run checks on the warehouses of merchandise. 
Onstage, everything was business as usual, but backstage we were running all over the place with preparations for Golden Week. The cast was exhausted from all the renovations and daily rehearsals. Even after closing time, they stayed until after midnight hauling in equipment, doing stage tests, and all those sorts of things. 
Isuzu-senpai must have been very busy too, because she was also absent from school a lot. On the off-chance that I did happen to see her in school, most of the time, she was napping. 
Since I was in a department not connected to the parade or the show though, most of what I did every day was drudge work. I was starting to think those first two days I spent suffering in front of the guests were more fulfilling. 
May was almost here. On the last Saturday of April, I commuted to work in the morning. I decided I would finally tell them I was quitting, but only after a good, full day of work. I had emailed Isuzu-senpai, too: “I need to talk to you after work today.”

The first day of Golden Week came near the end of April. Everyone was super busy starting from that morning. ...Actually, they’d been running all over the place since the night before, preparing for the Golden Week event. A lot of attractions would be holding grand re-openings too, and apparently, they’d built a huge ad campaign around that. TV stations would be coming to report on the shows in the afternoon. 
But even though things were so busy, right before the park opened, there was an announcement calling for all the cast to meet in front of Maple Castle. Maple Castle was a large building that stood across from the gate, past Entrance Square. It wasn’t a charming, pretty castle; it was an honest-to-goodness fortress that looked like it would give pause to even Napoleon’s Grande Armée. 
A crowd of cast members was gathered in front of it; there were hundreds of them. Some were part-time workers like me, while others wore fancy costumes, and still others were mascots. 
There was a brief squeal of feedback before a voice came out over the speakers. “Okay, is everybody here?! We’re short on time, so I’ll keep it brief!” 
And who did I see there, speaking on the stage with microphone in hand, but Kanie-senpai? He was wearing a striking, tailored uniform with gold trim. Even from where I was standing, I could see his red arm band that read “Acting Manager.” Acting manager? Kanie-senpai? He wasn’t just the leader of the part-time staff?! 
“Ahem!” he began. “Today is the first day of Golden Week, and I don’t think I need to explain to you how important it is! It’s no exaggeration to say that the job we do in the week to come will determine our park’s fate a year from now! We’ve made a lot of preparations! We’ve put advertisements in newspapers! We’ve run renovations! But in the end, it all still comes down to our cast’s hard work! Got it?! This whole thing is riding on you!” 
Some were only half-listening, but the majority of the cast had their eyes fixed on Kanie-senpai. The mascots in particular—as residents of “magical realms,” I guess—seemed to take in his words with great seriousness. 
“I want to see what all those rehearsals have gotten us!” he barked, sounding like the general of an army. “Don’t make mistakes! Perform with sincerity! If you’re pros, you can do this! Anyone who can’t, can get out of here now! This park doesn’t need you!” He was such a slender, pretty man, but for some reason he had a strangely commanding aura; it was awe-inspiring. Even I found myself unconsciously standing at attention. 
“But there’s one more factor that’s even more important! This, above all, you must not forget! You hear me? It’s—” While everyone waited with bated breath, he threw a small pause into his speech. Then with a composed expression, he said this: “Above all, have fun.” 
The moment he said that, a strange mood fell over the crowd. It was a mood of disarmament, of comprehension, of warmth. They all seemed to be thinking, “Yes, of course.” Someone close to me let out a giggle. 
“That’s right,” Kanie-senpai concluded. “...Now, let’s have a fun day at work! Everyone, to your stations!!” 
The crowd let out a cheer and dispersed, clapping and whistling. They all seemed raring to go. 
“...He’s a damned fine performer, ron,” Macaron-san said from close by. “Kanie-kun is probably the most panicked of us all, but he gives us one little speech and suddenly we’re cock-eyed optimists, ron.” 
“Um, um... just who is Kanie-senpai?” I asked. 
“He’s the park’s savior, ron.” 
Macaron-san explained everything on the way to the Music Theater. He explained how the park was really supposed to have closed in March; about how they had called Kanie-senpai here based on “the revelation” and given him management of the park; about how he’d made a miracle happen that had let the park stay in business. 
“We all tease him and treat him like a nuisance,” Macaron-san concluded. “But the fact is, we trust him, ron. The kid’s got something special.” 
It was all so hard to accept. That Kanie-senpai, the same person who ate lunch by himself in a corner of the school building every day, could be doing such amazing things here at this park. 
Compared to him, I... No, it was silly to compare myself to him. He might be a nasty person, but he was born with things I wasn’t. He could probably do anything he put his mind to. Meanwhile, I had nothing. 
While everyone else was raring to go, I was feeling small and pathetic.

It was partly because the weather was good, I guess, but tons of people were coming to the park. I was back to my work backstage. After the park opened its doors, I worked for a while at Macaron-san’s Music Theater (well, underneath it), but then I was ordered to go to the big stage and help out there. 
“Um, um... the big... the big stage?” I questioned. 
“The one where Kanie-san gave his speech this morning,” the female cast member who’d told me said; she was a Fairy of Water, known as Muse. She wore a revealing outfit, but she was a very nice lady. “They just don’t have enough hands on deck. The girls need help changing, they need people carrying equipment, helping with the wiring and, um... anyway, just head over! I need to get ready for the show!” She must have been running around backstage, looking for any cast members who could be spared. Once she passed on the request, she ran right off. 
I told the one cast member left at the Music Theater (a member of the Mogute Clan) that I was leaving my station, and he just responded, “Sure thing, mog,” so I hurried to the big stage. 
I remembered now. The big stage was where the special live show “A (AmaBri) Fight Begins! The Moffle that Fell to Earth!” was going to take place. This show was to be the biggest spectacle of the Golden Week opening. This was how it was described in the pamphlet: 
“The first phase of our major renovations! 
“A black cloud has fallen on the peaceful Sorcerer’s Hill. Oh no! We’re losing dream energy! Will the magical fairies be able to save the children’s dreams?! Moffle, Macaron, Tiramii, and all their park friends are going to fight to set things right! Come watch this singing, dancing picture book brought to you with the latest special effects! 
“(May be canceled in case of inclement weather. We appreciate your understanding.)” 
...I won’t comment on the idea of that trio of lushes “saving children’s dreams,” of course. It’s just fiction, after all.

As I arrived under the big stage, which was bustling with preparations, I happened to run into Macaron-san coming out of one of the greenrooms. For some reason, he was wearing a plaid miniskirt underneath a dark blue jacket. Was he playing a high school girl in the musical? Even if he was a sheep, that was still kind of weird. 
My thoughts must have been showing on my face, because Macaron-san got indignant. “Why are you looking at me that way? This is my Scotland costume! It’s not women’s clothing, ron!” 
Ah, of course. Now that he mentioned it, he was carrying bagpipes, too. It was easy to forget that he was the Fairy of Music. 
“Anyway, what are you doing here, ron?” Macaron-san asked. “I thought you were stationed at the Music Theater.” 
“Oh, um... Muse-san asked me to come help...” I told him. 
“Ah, okay! Go see Dornell, then,” he ordered. 
“Dornell?” I asked. It sounded like the name of a massive mobile weapon, the kind that fired big fat beams. 
“He’s the show’s director. You’ll find him in the master control room. Hurry, hurry! Less than thirty minutes to showtime, ron!” 
I did as I was told and headed to the master control room. It was crammed and cluttered with monitors, consoles, PCs and audio equipment. A weasel-like fairy and a few members of the Mogute Clan were shouting at each other: 
“How are those speaker tests in the southern area coming?! You need to hurry, mog!” 
“There’s a problem in the fifth elevator! Send a repair crew, stat!” 
“Main cannon, mega-particle cannon! Target that Musai on the left wing!” 
Okay, I might have mixed in a comment unrelated to the musical there... but the point is, they were busy. 
“Um, um, I came to help...” As I spoke up, the weasel fairy turned around. He was wearing an armband that read DIRECTOR. He must be Dornell-san, then. 
“Okay, well, carry that cardboard box to the special greenroom, nell. You’ll find it on... um, here,” he told me, “take a map!” 
“U-Um...” 
I was just standing there, fidgeting, when someone entered the room behind me; it was Kanie-senpai. He completely ignored me to address the director, Dornell. “How are things going?” 
“Oh, hey Boss. Time’s gonna be tight, but I think we’ll make it, nell. Wanna watch from here?” 
“Sure,” Kanie-senpai responded. “I can watch from the spectator seats if I’m in the way, of course...” 
“No sweat off my brow, nell. You choreographed the whole thing, after all. ...Hey, you! Why are you just standing there? Hurry up!” Dornell-san said, laying into me for sticking around to listen to their conversation. 
“S-Sorry!” I grabbed the large cardboard box and a copy of the map, and flew out of the room. 
Kanie-senpai just said “oh?” as if he’d only now realized I was there. 
I raced around, using the crummy map to help me find my way. It seemed the area’s underground passages had been renovated and expanded recently, and they didn’t have official maps made yet. What could this “special greenroom” be, I wondered. It seemed to be rather far down, but... 
Fortunately, I found a helpful sign on the walls (it read “Special greenroom this way, mog ?”) and I arrived at my destination soon enough. I opened the metal door that read “Special Greenroom” and walked inside to find a large hall. 
At the center of the hall was a dragon. 
Yes, a dragon. A real dragon, with amazing fangs and terrible claws. It could probably slice a truck in two with those, I thought. 
There were four or five cast members hard at work around the dragon: polishing his scales, using large brushes to apply some kind of fluorescent material, etc. It was makeup. They were putting makeup on the dragon. 
Yeah, right there. Put extra care into the nape of the neck,? the dragon said. ?That’s my best feature. That neck charmed all the young females in the old days, and today, it’s going to knock a few guests off their feet!? 
“We get it, now shut up. It’s hard to keep steady when you’re moving,” a woman with long ears, who looked a bit like a dark elf, muttered as she polished the dragon’s neck (looking more closely, she was using a car buffer). 
Now now, Ashe-san. You clearly don’t believe me, but I really was a ladies’ man! Do you know a dragon called Eliza Gonda? She was a popular idol a while back, and she and I—? 
“Just shut up,” she interrupted him. “You’re playing the villain, anyway. I can’t believe even an accountant like me has to—” 
By the way, who’s that girl?? At the dragon’s words, all eyes turned towards me. 
“What? What do you want?” the woman he’d called Ashe asked. 
“Um, um... excuse me. The director person... um, Dornell-san? He told me to bring this here...” 
Ohh, finally!? 
“I was worried it wouldn’t make it in time,” she said. “Since we had to have it made-to-order...” 
We need this to coordinate our performance. Last night’s rehearsal was a mess without it.? 
She opened the package and pulled out a watermelon-sized earphone. She pushed it into the dragon’s left ear and then switched it on. 
“Testing, testing. Can you hear me?” 
I hear you. I hear y—wahh?!? 
“What is it? Too soft?” 
No, the opposite! Too loud! Shut u— turn it off, turn it off!? 
“Stop writhing!” she ordered, “you’ll hurt someone!” 
But the dragon just started thrashing even more, as if picking up his own voice. The people around him started running in panic. I shrank out of the room. 
“Y-You have it now, so... I gotta go!!” I sprinted away, leaving the commotion behind. 
Since coming to this park, I’d stopped being surprised by most things. But who wouldn’t be flabbergasted by the sight of a dragon?! A dragon! An honest-to-goodness dragon! And they were, apparently, going to put him in front of the guests at the show! This was a really bold stroke, and it worried me.

When I got back to the master control room, Kanie-senpai happened to be saying that exact same thing: “We have to put every card we have on the table. I’d been thinking about how best to use that dragon, Rubrum, but I really think we just need to put him out there.” 
“It’s a really bold stroke, Boss,” Dornell-san agreed, “but writing Rubu-yan off as a special effect is gonna be tricky.” 
“Eh, we just say it’s a trade secret,” Kanie-senpai scoffed. “That’ll make people speculate, which will get people talking. Guests will even start filming it and uploading video!” His mouth curled up in a smile. It was the smile of a villain, but it was also attractive in a way that sent a chill up my spine. So frustrating! 
The monitors nearby showed security camera footage of the audience. There was a huge crowd of guests out there—absolutely massive. It wasn’t just one or two hundred, either; there were probably more than a thousand people there, and that number was growing all the time. 
“Um... I delivered it,” I announced. 
“Oh, you’re back, nell? Good. Take that coil of cables to the 15th warehouse,” Dornell-san said bluntly, then went back to messing with his console. 
Kanie-senpai looked at me and, once again, just said “Oh.” So humiliating! 
I carried the cables to the 15th warehouse, just as I was told. It felt like I was just getting some stuff out of their way, and it felt like total busywork. Did they really need me here helping out? But I wasn’t going to complain.

It was about five minutes until showtime. On my way to the warehouse, I saw members of the cast all around me, getting ready for the show. Most of the chaos had died down by now, and it was now all the tension and silence that precedes a big performance. 
A group of women in beautiful costumes stood around the elevators that led up to the stage; they were all stiff with nerves. I saw Muse-san there too, compulsively adjusting her bra. 
Near another elevator further in, I saw Macaron-san speaking to a photo he was holding. A photo of his family, maybe? Next to him, a Tiramii-san covered in flowers was leaning against a pillar, taking a nap. He looked like Corporal Hicks during the drop mission. He was braver than I gave him credit for. 
I didn’t see Moffle-san. He was the star of the show, so he was probably waiting somewhere else. 
“Three minutes until showtime. All departments, make your final reports to the master control room,” intoned a backstage announcement. It was Isuzu-senpai’s voice. I saw cast members saying “All clear” into their headsets, one after another. 
The onstage BGM and the guests’ whispers of excitement could be heard in the distance, somehow feeling louder than they really were. Even I was getting nervous. My heart was pounding like a drum. 
I threw the mass of cables into the warehouse and headed back towards the master control room, thinking that the show would have started, and I’d see everybody hyped with excitement on my way back. But instead... it was weird. 
As I walked back from the warehouse, the cast was all still on standby. They were fidgeting and glancing at clocks on the walls. It was five minutes past the scheduled showtime. 
There was another announcement from Isuzu-senpai. Her voice had a slight edge to it. “We’re having trouble with the sound system, but we’re working to fix it. Please remain on standby.” 
As I returned to the master control room, I found Dornell-san shouting commands at people all around him. He was pale and covered in sweat, unable to find the source of the issue, and adjusted things on his console repeatedly while he talked to someone on the other line. 
From what I could tell, the problem was that the stage’s main speakers weren’t working. That meant they wouldn’t play music, sound effects, or the cast’s lines. Without that, the show would lack impact, and more importantly, nothing would make any sense. 
“What the nell is going on here?!” he fumed. “It was working during the tests this morning!” 
“I don’t know, pii. It was such a rush job, it could be anything...” 
“We’re sending our full force to test the connections, mog.” 
“How long will it take?” 
“Ten minutes... no, about twenty minutes, mog.” 
“Oh, for the... The guests won’t wait ten minutes, nell! They’ll get fed up and leave!” 
The situation was apparently more desperate than I’d imagined. I was back in the control room, but I couldn’t exactly ask for another assignment. 
Kanie-senpai was sitting silently in the back of the room. He wasn’t chastising Dornell-san and the others; he just stewed there in silence, his expression severe. I’m sure he’d like to be stomping back and forth around the room, screaming his head off. But he was biting back his feelings and remaining perfectly still. 
I realized I’d seen that expression before. It was a long time ago, when I’d visited my dad at work with an onigiri pick-me-up. There had been an awful flood, and my mother and I decided to stop in to visit him and his comrades, who’d been on standby for a long time. I’d walked in to see him sitting in front of the radio, waiting for the call, and his face had looked something like that. Of course, when he noticed me there, his expression had immediately gone back to its usual gentle one. 
But when Kanie-senpai noticed me, there was nothing gentle about his expression. “Oh, are you here?” was all he said, before returning to his sullen silence. With no other choice, I just stood in the corner of the room and watched things unfold. There was nothing I could do, but... They didn’t seem to be able to identify the source of the problem. 
Time ticked by, minute after minute. I could see the guests on the monitor growing cranky. They must have been bored. They must have been irritated. I saw parents doing everything they could to soothe crying children. 
Isuzu-senpai said repeatedly over the announcement system, “We’re still getting the show ready. Please wait.” But it still didn’t start. This wasn’t good. Already, some guests were leaving. 
“How are things going, fumo?” Moffle, wearing a red scarf over the top of his cook’s whites complete with hat, entered the master control room. I thought he might have lost his temper and come to demand to know more, but his voice remained even. He seemed actively trying to remain relaxed and to stay out of the way of Dornell-san’s work. 
“Looks like it’s going to take more time,” Dornell-san told him. “The issue seems to be with the new amps, but...” 
“Should I go out first? I could buy us a little time, fumo.” Of course. So that was why Moffle-san had come here. It made sense that he wouldn’t just leave his post for no reason. 
But Kanie-senpai shook his head. “...No, don’t. Macaron and the others need to warm up the crowd before you come out for your main character spot. If you’re the opening act, it all falls apart.” 
“I know that, fumo. But it’s... getting pretty dicey out there, fumo.” 
“Yeah. Why don’t we get Sento to tell some humorous anecdotes? The announcement system is working, at least...” Kanie-senpai was joking, but his voice was dry. 
“That’s not even funny, fumo.” 
“I guess not,” Kanie-senpai sighed. “She wouldn’t get any laughs. She’d be better off singing, if anything.” 
Silence reigned after that. Those two, who always seemed so competent, had no choice now but to fall silent. They were out of options, after all. 
After a while, Moffle-san let out a sigh. “Singing, eh? Well... moffu.” 
His large eyes flicked in my direction. He must have known I was there from the start, but now he watched me with a scrutinizing yet careful gaze. After a little while, he finally spoke. “Hey, newbie.” 
“Y-Yes?” I stammered. 
“Go to the announcement booth and sing a little, fumo.”

Naturally, I was speechless. So were Kanie-senpai and Dornell-san. 
“Huh? Um... um?” I managed to squeeze out at last. 
Moffle-san responded with total calm. “The customers are bored, fumo. I’d like you to go out and sing to buy time.” 
What was he talking about? I didn’t understand. Me? In front of that huge crowd? Huh? 
“I’m not telling you to sing on stage, fumo,” Moffle continued. “Isuzu’s doing announcements from the room next door. You’ll go in there and do a few songs over the loudspeaker, fumo. They’ll love it, don’t worry.” 
Words—a whole lot of words—began running through my brain. This is a joke what is he talking about it’s like this bizarre rodent is telling me to kill myself yes that’s right I see now I’ll die if I have to sing in front of all those people and he wants me to die or else he’s joking yes that’s right I hope he’s joking if he’s not I’m going to pee myself it’s over I’m out of here it’s okay for me to run isn’t it that’s my legal right he’s being unreasonable there’s no way the crowd will like my singing they’ll be shocked they’ll be offended I mean this isn’t some talent show on public TV it’s not like going to end with a bell ringing if the audience boos me off who will pay for my therapy bills they won’t they don’t care why should I do something like this for 850 yen an hour it’s horrible you people aren’t fairies you’re demons you’re devils this is devil’s advocacy you’re shadow warriors I refuse unequivocally um I’m really sorry but I have no obligation to you none of this is my fault it has nothing to do with me so please let me go let me go let me go let me go— 
“Moffle. What are you talking about?” Kanie-senpai asked, ignorant of my mile-a-minute thought process. “You want a part-timer to sing? The fate of the park depends on this show; surely we can find a better opening act. If someone has to sing, even Sento would be a better candidate... And while I really wouldn’t be happy about it, I can also sing. My voice is professional grade, of course. ...Anyway, the point is—” 
“You’re amateur hour next to Chujo Shiina, fumo,” Moffle-san stated plainly. 
I was shocked! (Mostly because he remembered my full name.) 
Naturally, Kanie-senpai was furious. “What was that? How dare you—!” 
“Ah, that’s nothing against you, Seiya. What I’m saying is that she’s incredible, fumo. I’ve been in this business a long time, and talent like hers is a once-in-a-blue-moon thing. The stability and emotion when she’s singing full blast—that’s something you can’t acquire with hard work. She might be timid, she might get bad stage fright, but I tell you she’s the real thing, fumo.” 
“You’re talking about her?” Kanie-senpai sputtered incredulously. In theory, it was an awful thing to say, but his doubts were justified. I said nothing. 
“Moffu. I heard her at karaoke the other day, and I mean every word I said. But you’re the acting manager, Seiya. The decision’s yours, fumo.” Moffle-san fell silent. 
Seconds continued to tick by on the clock. Kanie-senpai looked at me with greater scrutiny than he ever had before. I wanted to turn tail and run. 
At last, Kanie-senpai spoke. “No, I don’t think so.” 
“Seiya!” Moffle interjected. 
“Even if you’re right, it’s not going to work,” Kanie-senpai insisted. “We can’t trust this to someone who’s running away. The ability to keep it together at a critical moment—I don’t feel any of that strength from her. She’s terrified!” 
“Mmgh...” 
“You said you’ve been in this business a long time, right?” Kanie-senpai continued. “Then you should know the element that all successful entertainers have in common isn’t skill; it’s strength. You get flustered, but you still read the next line in the script. The crowd turns on you, but you keep going anyway. Can she do that? No, she can’t. So, my answer is no.” 
“Moffu...” Moffle-san seemed to have a hard time arguing with Kanie-senpai’s reasoning. 
And what was going through my mind? It was a blazing anger like nothing I’d ever felt before. A moment ago, I had been trembling, wanting to run away. But now that had changed. 
This person who ate lunch alone in that isolated area at school. This person who treated me like I didn’t even exist. This person who had everything, who could do anything. This person I found so attractive. Kanie-senpai... he had no right to talk about me! He didn’t even know me! How could anyone be so arrogant, so dismissive? Not even I could abide this kind of treatment. 
What would you know about me? I thought fiercely. You never really talked to me! This is the first time you’ve even really looked at me! How dare you reduce the complicated human being that I am to some kind of eternally hopeless loser? 
It was outrageous. It was unforgivable. Yes, it was so... so humiliating! 
But then, what should I do? If I wanted to really show up this arrogant senpai... “—I’ll sing,” I found myself saying. 
“What?” Kanie-senpai asked in disbelief. 
“I’ll sing,” I told him defiantly. “I’m not scared, and I never gave you the right to question my character like this. I’m going to sing and I’m going to knock your socks off. In other words, I’m saying yes. And by the way, I’m serious!” 
“Um, but you...” 
“We don’t have time, right? I’m doing it and you can’t stop me. So just sit here and watch!” I hissed, then strode away.

Looking back on it now, I don’t think I was in my right mind. The depression of my awful new school year; the parade of surprises from all the people I’d met at the park; the strange atmosphere of this place where reality and magic jumbled together... It had all combined together inside me to explode into a form I never could have expected. 
“Are you serious?” Isuzu-senpai asked me in the announcer’s booth, her eyes wide. 
Moffle-san had come with me and explained the situation. “Oh, she’s serious. Way serious, fumo. Isn’t that right, newbie?” 
“Yes, I’m very serious,” I replied immediately. I think my eyes had glazed over. “Let me do it.” 
Isuzu-senpai didn’t offer any more objections. She just stared at Moffle-san intently. Then, once she determined that he wasn’t playing around, she nodded. “All right. But what will you sing? This isn’t a karaoke parlor; our selection is far from impressive.” 
“Whatever you happen to have is fine. This Park... yes, ‘This Brilliant Park,’ please.” 
“...That song?” she questioned doubtfully. 
I was talking about Amagi Brilliant Park’s theme song, which played frequently over the speaker system. It was written in the 1980s, and it went like this:

O wonderful, wonderful, wonderful park. 
Get bigger and stronger, wonderful park. 
We all love to work here. 
We love to meet guests. 
So strong, so gentle, this wonderful park. 
O Amagi Brilliant Park. 
We’re happy to be here, wonderful park. 

That was more or less how it went (and I hoped the lyric writer lost his job over it). 
Also, for some reason, the melody was this grandiose thing, like the Russian national anthem. That, combined with the lyrics, made it feel a lot like totalitarian propaganda. But to be honest, the song didn’t matter. I just had to sing. I was feeling kind of desperate, to be honest! 
Don’t blame me, I thought, if my stupid song makes the crowd mad and they riot! Yes, that’s right! I hope you all die! ...was more or less how I felt. But feeling that way was the only chance I had of going through with this. 
“I’m starting the song now.” Isuzu-senpai manipulated the controls. Immediately, the speakers in the park creaked to life, playing a fanfare-like introduction. It was a very long intro. While it played, Isuzu-senpai spoke into the mike. 
“We apologize again for the wait. The special live show will soon begin. In the meantime, please enjoy this rendition of our park’s theme song, ‘This Brilliant Park.’” 
“No flair as an announcer, eh, fumo?” 
“Be quiet,” Isuzu ordered. “...It’s coming, Shiina-san.” 
Okay, I thought. While the intro was playing, I cleared my throat. 
The PA booth sat halfway up Maple Castle, looking down on the stage. The front window was one-way glass, so I could look out over the guests gathered in front of the stage. They were looking pretty rowdy. Some had left their seats in boredom, but there were still a huge number of people there. 
So many people—a thousand, at least. I saw a few people with large video cameras, too. They had probably come from TV stations. Now, I had to sing? In front of all these people? It was a bit late to turn back now, but I found myself trembling in terror over what I’d agreed to do. 
I wanted to cry. My legs were shaking. I wondered if maybe I could just apologize and run away. 
...But just then, Moffle-san spoke up from his place by my side. “Sing, fumo. Pretend your father is listening.” 
In that moment, my mind cleared. I didn’t know how Moffle-san knew about my father, but his words made my chest feel hot, and my urge to run away vanished. Moffle-san’s voice became the voice of my father, which I’d never hear again, encouraging me on. The feelings I had sealed away inside for so long began to strain at the seams, looking for release. 
“......” For a moment, I hesitated. But then the words poured from my throat—like a retch, like a scream.

O wonderful, wonderful, wonderful park. 

Ridiculous! This park wasn’t wonderful at all! Why was everyone running themselves ragged over it? It was so stupid, I thought. 
But I kept on singing. My lips moved smoothly. My throat felt clear. I could even feel the vibration of air molecules around me. It felt better than my best night at solo karaoke. I kept singing. 
Sento-senpai sat there, dumbstruck. Moffle-san stood perfectly still, his brow furrowed. The crowd in the venue had fallen silent. Eyes shut tight, fists clenched, I drew out every note I sang.

O Amagi Brilliant Park. We’re happy to be here, wonderful park. 

The song’s ending was greeted with sporadic applause, which gradually grew louder. At first, I couldn’t even process it, but within seconds, it had become the wildest applause I’d ever heard. I even heard whistles and cheers. What were the guests so happy about? Well, common sense would dictate... 
“You’re... kidding,” Isuzu-senpai whispered. 
“Moffu. You got me beat this time, fumo,” Moffle-san said. He sounded satisfied. “That’ll be a hard performance to follow.”

After that, they had me sing a few more songs. It was all so touch-and-go, I don’t even remember what they were... But it made the guests happy, and the repairs to the sound system finished before I was done. Moffle-san had patted me on the shoulder a few minutes before, then returned to his station. 
“We apologize again for the extended wait. We will now commence our special live show, ‘A (AmaBri) Fight Begins! The Moffle that Fell to Earth!’” Isuzu-senpai announced. 
Immediately, a BGM started playing on the main stage, and confetti began to fly. Macaron-san, Tiramii-san, and other major members of the cast appeared one after another. They flew, jumped, danced, and sang. 
Sorcerer’s Hill is all about dreams! Songs and smiles and so many things! Always so many fun things to do! Oh? Oh? Aren’t we missing something? That’s right! There’s no sweets at all! Let’s all call to Moffle now! Fairy of Sweets... Moffle! 
...And that’s when Moffle-san appeared. A flashy fireworks show erupted behind the stage as he jumped down onto a waiting trampoline. He did a somersault, landed, then joined in with the dancers. Naturally—I suppose, since he was a professional—his moves were sharp and on point. It was beyond what any normal mascot in a costume could handle. 
At points during the song, he’d stagger back as if exhausted, and someone would put a towel around his shoulders. Then seconds later, he’d bounce back and go on singing and dancing. It was kind of a JB knockoff and I don’t know what he was going for, but the show was certainly invigorating. 
I continued to watch it, feeling numb. 
“Shiina-san.” 
“Yes?” 
Isuzu-senpai stood up and embraced me tightly. 
“U-Um?!” 
“Thank you. You saved us. I can’t thank you enough.” My face was pressed against her considerable chest, so I couldn’t see her expression, but I could hear deep emotion in her voice. “We worked so hard for this, and it all nearly went down the drain. We’re in your debt today.” 
I didn’t know what to say. 

The evil dragon was so intimidating that some children started to cry. But otherwise, the show ended just fine. The evening show also went on with no trouble, with double the spectators from before.

After the park closed, they had a cast party at AM. Dornell-san, the director, gave a toast, with nothing but praise for everybody. 
Macaron-san and Tiramii-san spoke to me, their large eyes shimmering. 
“Whew... you got me beat today, ron. Starting today, you’re the Fairy of Music.” 
No, thank you, I thought. 
“You really shocked mii! Let’s go to Alamo and sing there after all!” 
No, thank you, I thought. 
A number of other people came up to me, offered thanks, shook my hand, or hugged me. It was a pretty overwhelming experience, overall. 
I didn’t know what to do. I knew I wasn’t a very special person, and I didn’t do anything all that amazing. I just sang a few songs to buy us time. It was really more embarrassment than I could bear. 
My colleagues, Adachi Eiko-san and Bando Biino-san, came up and congratulated me, too. I was genuinely happy about that one—I was hoping we could be friends. 
Kanie Seiya arrived in the dining hall “fashionably late.” It was my first time seeing him since the master control room. He looked pretty awkward as he approached me. His expression couldn’t settle on one single emotion, but it mostly looked like frustration and embarrassment. 
I loved it! 
“Um... hello,” I said to him. 
“What’s that expression?” he asked stiffly. “You think you’re pretty hot stuff after showing me up like that, hmm? 
“Gack...” 
“Bullseye, eh? Also, who actually says the word ‘gack’?” 
“S-Sorry...” 
Kanie-senpai let out a sigh. “Well, it’s fine. Anyway... you know. I’m sorry. You did a good thing. I was surprised, I was moved, I’m grateful, et cetera.” 
“...That didn’t sound very sincere,” I said accusingly. 
“Sh-Shut up. I’m not good at this kind of thing. Anyway, let the others make a fuss over you for today!” With that, Kanie-senpai turned to leave. But he stopped and said one more thing to me. “Oh, and Chujo.” 
“Y-Yes?” It was his first time saying my name out loud. So surprising! 
“I’ve decided to make a CD of your songs. It’s to sell in the shops. So start practicing!” 
“What?! Huh... wh-what the...” 
He didn’t even ask for my approval; he just told me his intentions and then walked away. He moved on to speak to Isuzu-senpai, who was sitting in a corner of the cafeteria and offered him a few words of reply. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it seemed to me that Isuzu-senpai was happy to see him... I could sense that, somehow, even though she never smiled. Was there some kind of intimacy between them after all? I really was curious. 
Ah, but it was rude to stare at people, so I headed for the soda fountain to refill my orange juice. 
“Moffu?” Moffle-san happened to be there too. I hadn’t talked to him since the show, either. 
“Um, hello,” I said. 
“Ahh. Good job out there, fumo.” He said nothing more as he dispensed oolong tea into his mug. They’d be doing daily performances starting tomorrow, so there was to be no alcohol at the cast party tonight. 
I dug down deep and found my voice. “Um, Moffle-san. Thank you for today.” 
“Moffu? For what?” 
“Um... for what you said about my father...” 
“Ahh, that.” Moffle nodded. “Join me on the terrace, fumo.”

Moffle-san headed for the terrace outside. Actually, it was so small and old, it was probably more like a veranda—and in practice, it was really just a place people went to smoke. Once we were outside, Moffle-san pulled a cigarette from somewhere or other. It was his usual brand, ‘Hope.’ 
“There’s something I need to apologize for, fumo,” Moffle-san said. He lit the cigarette, took a long drag, then blew a plume of dark smoke into the night air. “The truth is, I knew your dad, fumo.” 
“......” I had thought that he might. It was the only way he would have known to mention it, then. But why? 
“Has it been five years since he passed away now? ...That’s not to say we had much of a relationship, fumo. We were just drinking buddies at a bar I like.” 
“You were... drinking buddies?” I asked. 
“Yeah. There’s a little place on the outskirts of the shopping street near Amagi Station. We met there, fumo. Of course, we only saw each other about once a month... but we got along, for some reason, so we usually ended up talking, fumo.” 
This was the first I had heard about it, of course. My father didn’t drink very often, and as far as I knew, he hardly ever went out to bars. But now that Moffle-san mentioned it, I remembered how, once a month, he’d come home from work a little late, and when he did he’d be a little tipsy. I was usually in bed by then, though, so I almost never talked to him when he was drunk. 
“Well... he told me about you too, fumo. He was worried about his daughter’s social anxiety. What’d he say again... ‘she’d gotten nervous during a school play, locked up and couldn’t say her lines.’ And then he...” 
“...I remember. He shouted out to encourage me.” 
It was a school play in fourth grade. My father had called out to me in a big shout that resounded throughout the gymnasium: “Go, Shiina!” Everyone was so surprised. Of course, I was just playing “Forest Rabbit C,” a side character with only one line... 
“Thanks to him... I managed to say my line.” 
“Yeah, that’s what he told me, fumo. He was a tight-lipped man, even when drinking, but that was one story he told with pride. I still remember it, fumo.” 
“I... I see...” It was a strange thing, imagining the pudgy little Fairy of Sweets and my father, side by side in a bar, swapping stories. Although everyone in AmaBri wore an item called the Lalapatch Charm, which let them appear to be ordinary people to the outside world... so my father probably thought he was talking to any ordinary guy. 
“He showed me a picture of you too, fumo. ...You were in elementary school at the time, but you don’t seem to have changed much since.” 
Hey, butt out! I thought. 
“...A few months passed after that, and I didn’t see him again. I had just started to wonder about it when the bartender told me, fumo. One of his colleagues had come in to say he’d passed in the line of duty.” 
“...Yes.” The world around me suddenly looked a little blurry. I thought I’d gotten used to thinking about it, but... 
“I’d missed the funeral, and I didn’t know him well enough to pay my respects to his family. I’m sorry to say that all I’ve ever done was pay one visit to his grave.” 
“I see...” 
“Now, it might just be a coincidence, but when you came here, it felt to me like destiny in motion, fumo. Or, well, maybe it was the goddess Libra who brought you here...” Moffle-san planted his cigarette in one of the nearby ash trays. “That’s all I have to say. See you around.” 
“U-Um... wait a minute, please,” I said as Moffle-san turned to go back into the cafeteria. 
“What is it, fumo?” 
“Moffle-san, were you...” I debated with myself for a minute over whether or not to ask him. But I decided I had to do it. “Um... were you hard on me because you knew my father?” 
Moffle-san looked at me for a while in silence, but eventually turned his back on me and responded, “That’s ridiculous. I’ve got better things to do than that, fumo. I got mad because you’re a klutz.” 
“I... I see...” Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. So embarrassing... 
“But... watching you today was a real relief, fumo.” 
“Huh?” 
Moffle-san didn’t answer. He just walked away. He was such a sourpuss, it was hard to know what he was ever thinking, but that one statement seemed to take a burden off my shoulders. Moffle-san was probably just a very modest person. 
I returned to the cafeteria, where Isuzu-senpai approached me. 
“Shiina-san.” 
“Ah... yes?” 
“Your email this morning said that you had something to talk about. I think I can imagine what it is, of course...” 
“Ah...” I had completely forgotten that I had been planning to quit at the end of the day. That was what I was going to tell Isuzu-senpai, but... 
“I know you’ve never felt at home here in the park,” she said. “Kanie-kun and Moffle clearly have plans for you... but we can’t force you to stay if you don’t want to.” 
“Yes...” 
“Even if you do stay, not every day will be a good one. It might all be bad days, in fact. But...” Isuzu-senpai said. 
Did she have a feeling about what was to come? I hesitated. I wondered. 
“No, I won’t say it,” she finally said. “It might not even be my place to say.” 
“......” I had no answer to that. 
“Anyway, tell me. What do you intend to do?” 
It was true that it felt nice to sing and be praised for it, but that wasn’t the most important thing. Over the past few weeks, I had met all kinds of adults that I never could have met at school. They weren’t impressive, they weren’t noble, they had all kinds of problems... yet they were all scrambling desperately for a singular goal. I wanted to scramble with them for a little while longer. 
“I’m sorry for being so selfish all the time,” I said. “But if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to...” 
After she heard the next words out of my mouth, Isuzu-senpai smiled just a bit, told me when to report in tomorrow, and just before leaving, said this: “All right. I’m glad to be working with you.” 
Yes. I’m glad to be working with you, too.