Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 18 - Chapter 5.05

  Unable to Die

Shogi players typically think about two things when they fall behind in a match.

The first is about what to do when the match is over.

They give up on winning and think about what will happen after they surrender. When to start packing up their stuff, what to have for dinner, that sort of thing.

The second is reflecting on the past.

If they think there’s a small chance they could still come back, players reflect on the match to figure out where they went wrong or find holes in their research.

When I realized Ten-chan had pulled away further than I could catch up, I thought about the past.

But not about the Horse I took and not trying to figure out what I should’ve done differently.

Something even further back.

Back to the day I was called in to speak with the board of directors, just after I rejected their offer ……

“I would like to speak with you, Mr. Chairman.”

I went up to the chairman’s office after the meeting without telling anyone else, and Tsukimitsu 9-dan said he could spare a few minutes. There was a favor I wanted to ask.

“I have a question that only you can answer.”

“As I said earlier, there is nothing more I can do or advice I can give concerning the Professional Entrance Exam―――”

“No, this is about Shogi puzzles.”

“Oh ……?”

Chairman Tsukimitsu, who is known for making Shogi puzzles, seemed a lot more interested now.

“Could you tell me the trick to doing nigiri puzzles? …… Master once told me that he has seen you do one. He also said you had to do a special preparation ……”

“Well, well. You bring up an extremely interesting topic.”

He didn’t ask me why I wanted to know or anything.

Maybe he already had an idea.

“This is true for Shogi puzzles in general, but nigiri is quite challenging if you have any conventional Shogi sense left in your mind. Sequences that seldom, if ever, appear in matches tend to be the main theme of the puzzles. That is especially important for me, since I rely heavily on reading the board. I believe you and I have that in common.”

“I can relate. My mind tends to keep considering formations that show up in matches first ……”

“In fact, it’s important to see a lot of Shogi puzzles and then organize them into useful themes in your mind in order to overcome that instinct. Your official match records are not helpful when creating puzzles,” the Chairman says with a laugh.

B-But I don’t think it’s funny ……

“When it comes to nigiri, it’s a battle against time. If the completed puzzle doesn’t form in your mind within the first few seconds, it never will no matter how hard you try. That’s why you need determination.”

“Determination?”

“Yes. The determination to never allow thoughts like what if I can’t? or there aren’t enough pieces to cross your mind. You must finish with what is available. A great deal of focused determination is necessary to make it happen.”

“………… That sounds hard ……”

A long time ago, I successfully did a nigiri in front of Master. It was back when I was a beginner with no idea how Shogi works.

But it was just a coincidence.

I happened to grab pieces that fit well together. I did try a few more times on my own behind Master’s back, but I couldn’t do it again. Now I know it was just beginner’s luck.

“That can’t be chalked up to mere coincidence.”

“Huh?”

“You learned the basics of Shogi through puzzles, Miss Hinatsuru. Therefore you didn’t have conventional Shogi sense at that time.”

“Ah ……!”

Beginner's luck.

That’s what he was talking about.

“Then …… that means I can’t do it anymore …… doesn’t it ……?”

“……”

Chairman Tsukimitsu went quiet like he was considering his words.

I couldn’t take the silence and opened my mouth to break it, but that was when he spoke up.

“I only gained the ability to do nigiri after I went blind.”

Then he made a shocking admission.

“There was also a moment when I intended to commit suicide.”

“Whaaa ……?!”

“It was when my eyesight was rapidly deteriorating and I underwent many procedures and cornea transplants trying to save it. They were not a walk in the park, let me tell you. Topical anesthetics are used to control the pain, but your eyes get sewn for hours and you are restrained in one position the entire time.”

“…………”

“Also, steroids are injected into the eyes to prevent infection. I can honestly say that it is the single most painful experience anyone can go through in this world. I was only able to endure it out of the slight hope that I would be able to see well enough again to keep playing Shogi.”

He suddenly starts recounting his darkest days.

Listening was all I could do ……

“Unable to do satisfactory Shogi research, swallowing upwards of 20 pills a day, countless hours traveling to and from the hospital, enduring all that pain and still my eyes wouldn’t recover. My losing streak in official matches showed no signs of stopping. I lost every one of my titles and was even demoted in Placement Matches. I contemplated it every day.”

“…… Retirement?”

“No, death.”

I’m speechless. The chairman then turns to face me head-on.

“Have a look at these eyes for yourself.”

And then he opened them.

One look at what was in his eye sockets made me―――

“Hyee―――?!”

I caught myself mid scream and clasped my mouth shut with both hands.

His pupils were a weird murky white, and the rest was all bumpy …… like he had golf balls where his eyes should be ……

“This is the aftermath of multiple cornea transplants. It’s the stitching that does it.”

After so many surgeries, the doctors told him that they had run out of safe angles for another transplant …… After his last hope for sight was gone, the chairman decided to go to the roof of the hotel he was staying at in Tokyo after losing another match.

He was going to jump.

But that plan was doomed from the start.

“Going to the roof by myself wasn’t possible because I couldn’t read the buttons on the elevator anymore. I had missed the window within which it was possible to take my own life. My determination came too late.”

“D-Determination ……”

“I was forced to accept the reality that I had become blind. And that's when I realized it.”

“…… Realized …… what ……?”

“I was unable to see anything. However, I could clearly see a Shogi board in my mind.”

“……!!”

“Even if I couldn’t tell where the elevator buttons were, my mind’s eye could place pieces on a board if I were sitting in front of one.”

A mental Shogi board.

As Shogi players, that’s the thing closest to all of us.

“I am closest to a healthy human being when sitting in front of a Shogi board. There, I’m free to move about as I wish. Just like when I had the gift of sight.”

He closed his eyes and leaned back.

“The bottom line is: Shogi is all I have. Unable to die, my only option is to cling to the board in my mind.”

The Eternal Meijin then says he only achieved a high success rate with nigiri after that happened.

He said so with his eyes closed and a smile on his face, as usual.

“Determination is the trick.”