Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 11 - Chapter 3

  VENTING

The hot spring bath is fitted with hinoki wooden flooring and filled with steam.

I slip off my yukata robe and slide right into the bath, from the tip of my right big toe up to my neck all at once, without testing the temperature.

“Ngaahh …………!” 

The water is so hot it almost hurts, making me wince. Seems like Yaichi didn’t adjust the temperature at all when he was in here before me …… He likes it really hot for some reason, and we used to argue about it a lot back when we would bathe together, didn’t we ……?

–––But, it’s fine.

I already took a shower at my research room, so this bath isn’t to cleanse my body.

It’s to vent all the pain.

Everyone has their own way of clearing their mind after a loss, and mine is usually getting in the bath and slamming my fists into the water until I’ve had enough.

When I was a little girl I punched a wall in frustration once and hurt my right hand. Ever since then, I’ve made sure to punch things that don’t hurt me no matter how hard I hit them.

And …… tears get washed away in here.

“………… I hate this ……”

Letting the words come, I hit the water with all my might.

“This pain … I hate it! I hate it!”

Splash! Splash splash!

Sweat starts pouring down my cheeks. It’s almost like the pain is leaking out of me. Every drop that leaves my body takes a bit of weight off my shoulders. Just a tiny bit.

The moment I lost–––the moment I played a bad move at the very last possible second to lose my third match in a row, I seriously wanted to cut off my hand.

That must be what people call having blood drain from your body. My right hand wouldn’t stop trembling and I had to surrender rather than play the next move.

Once I did …… the first thing I noticed was how other people around me reacted.

“Well, Ginko Sora’s out of the running now, too.”

“She can hold out, but she always ends up choking in the end.”

“You get a bonus chance playing against her, even after you’ve lost.”

Of course, no one actually said these things to me.

I just simply would have made those judgments if I were in their shoes …… The pain and humiliation were tearing me apart.

I refused to do a review session, left the association straightaway without taking an umbrella and went right into Yaichi’s apartment …… Then I grabbed hold of a knife as if my muscles were convulsing.

–––I meant to die right then and there.

That’s not a lie. Just thinking about the moment I lost makes me want to stick as many knives into my body as I can fit.

But, now that some time has passed, that intense urge has faded.

I’m left with–––.

“……………… How embarrassing ……!”

This time, I kick with my legs as hard as I can.

Now, for a whole different reason …… I want to die ……!

“Just where is Yaichi taking me anyway?! And he got the chairman to reserve this place for us? That’ll just get even more people involved! How am I supposed to go back to Osaka now?! A single night is one thing, but people will start making assumptions if it gets out that the two of us spent multiple nights together …… What excuse is he going to come up with?!”

I sink into the water until it’s just under my mouth while yelling at the top of my lungs.

My shouts send bubbles across the surface of the water.

…… I’m aware of what I did.

I realize that my selfish demands put my younger brother apprentice between a rock and a hard place.

Back when Yaichi lost three straight matches during his title defense against the Meijin, he holed up in his room. But our reactions are completely different.

Yaichi tried to sever all other relationships so he could focus solely on Shogi.

I, however, ran away from it …… and clung to Yaichi instead.

Going for that knife was an obvious cry for attention. I knew that he was busy with work and taking care of his apprentices along with having his own matches to prepare for, but I still went straight for his apartment ……

“If I keep doing this ………… I’ll become the kind of woman everyone hates ……”

Asking which is more important: me or Shogi?! That kind of woman.

I swore to myself that I would never, under any circumstances, become that person … and yet here I am.

“I’m striving to get where I’ve always wanted be, but …… the harder I try, the further away it gets ……”

It didn’t used to be like this.

It’s truly pathetic for me, only 15 years old, to be harking back to my glory days, but I used to be stronger. Back then, I never thought I’d lose to Yaichi, let alone think that I would ever fall this far behind him.

But …… there is one thing I thought was even less likely.

That I would ever feel this much for him–––.

“………… I think I’ll take another shower ……”

I step out of the bath, wash myself much more thoroughly than before and then put the robe I left lying on the floor back on.

Then, loosening the sash just a bit …… a tiny little bit, I go back into the room.

Yaichi is out like a light. Sleeping like normal.

“………… Asleep already, stupid Yaichi ………… You have to keep an eye on me, remember? Idiot ……”

Angry at myself for being the only one getting my hopes up, and embarrassed about my fluttering heart …… I reach out and pinch the idiot’s nose closed.

“Fungh?! Oh …… Gah …… Agh? ………… Zzz.”

“………… Tsk.”

Dead to the world.

Feeling empty, I drift away from the futon and over to the window to let the cool air wash over my burning cheeks.

I glance out over the garden from there.

The garden Yaichi said we snuck into when we were little.

“………… Of course, I remember. Obviously ……”

Does that mean that Yaichi remembers everything? Like the day we met, too?

I had only just turned four so, honestly, I’ve forgotten quite a bit.

However, the first match of Shogi we ever played …… and my opinion of him, I remember like it was yesterday.

From the first moment, Yaichi was–––.