4
“…I kept cleaning up until it was dark, but…”
Coming back after his hard labor, Subaru was greeted by Rem, who was sitting on the ground with her legs extended out to the side.
She had the same grim expression and stiff voice, but it looked like she had left the fierce animosity on the shelf for now. This made Subaru’s expression soften, but seeing that, she glared at him.
“I did not greet you.”
“Don’t read my mind… But they let you out of the cell, right?”
“…At the very least, it seems the people here are not hostile to me.”
The way she averted her eyes was presumably due to the guilt she felt about the bad encounter—or rather, sudden encounter battle—she’d had with Jamal and his squad at the riverside.
Generally speaking, Rem was prickly with people she did not trust. She had become pretty gentle after coming to trust Subaru, but having forgotten all that, her mistrustful tendencies were starting to show again. And it looked like she was beginning to reflect on that.
“Being able to reflect on your choices is great, Rem. You get a gold star.”
“…Who are you to speak to me like that? Being complimented by you is not even slightly endearing. Also…”
Rem answered Subaru’s smile with a verbal backhand, then looked up.
Following her gaze, he saw the coned ceiling of the tent. Subaru cocked his head, and Rem scoffed in annoyance.
“Why do the three of us have to share the same tent? I am aware we are in no position to be asking for too many favors, but a little consideration would have been…”
“No, I think this is already plenty considerate of them. I told Todd we were partners on a trip, so… Owwwwwwww!”
“What right did you have?!”
Just as Subaru sat down next to Rem, one of her hands grabbed the area around his hip bone fiercely. Subaru writhed as his lower back creaked, and Rem’s gaze sharpened.
But then a small shadow broke in between them, stopping Rem.
“You again…”
“Uuh!”
Louis pushed against Rem’s hand, fighting with all her strength.
And Rem, who was for some reason sweet to Louis, sighed in resignation and broke off scolding Subaru. Instead, she pulled Louis toward her knees.
Laying Louis on the legs she struggled to move, she gently patted her.
“Tch.”
“…Why are you scoffing now? I cannot understand how you can be so cruel to her when she is so attached to you.”
Rem’s reaction was not exactly great, given that Subaru had such a bad attitude.
Subaru had no choice but to watch Louis carefully as she lay on Rem’s lap, trying to be ready if she ever showed her true nature.
At Todd’s instruction, Subaru had started cleaning up the black tents.
As he had figured at the start, it was not a job that would be finished in a short time. Part of it was that his left hand was not exactly in top condition, but Volakians were way less tidy than Subaru had expected, and also…
“She got in the way of my work the whole time. There I was, trying to clean up, but she kept undoing my work and making a mess of things. Thanks to her, I didn’t make any progress.”
“She doesn’t understand anything, so it can’t be helped.”
“It’s the same for you, too. But you don’t do that. Quod erat demonstrandum! I rest my case!”
“You are speaking meaningless babble again!”
She’s the reason you’re being so testy with me, so why do I have to not be testy with her?
Subaru, Rem, and Louis would only be in camp for a few days, but Todd had given them this tent to share. He had said that some of their comrades had gone into the jungle and not come back while they’d originally been setting up camp, so this tent did not have an owner, and they were free to use it.
“It’s not funny, though.”
Still, receiving a spare tent to use was a huge help.
He was less worried about himself, but leaving Rem in a camp filled with gruff men was concerning. Todd had said they would be treated like guests, but it was hard to know how far that hospitality would go. And Rem already had an enemy in Jamal.
If possible, he would have preferred having her around so he could watch her even while he was working, but…
“When she hates me this much, anything I say would be pointless…”
“What are you grumbling about? I have yet to even accept this tent situation…”
“Hey, Rem, about your memory…”
“ ”
As Subaru touched upon that subject, Rem’s face tensed up. Still letting Louis rest on her lap, she looked up at Subaru with rage in her eyes.
It was a powerful anger, the likes of which he had not seen since they’d ended up in this camp.
“…I get why you’re uneasy. But you are Rem. At least accept that much.”
“…I do not know if even that much is true,” Rem said, the anger still clear in her eyes.
“If you can’t even accept that much, there’s not much more I can say…” Subaru answered, with one eye closed.
It would have been easy to say she was just being stubborn and blockheaded. But Subaru couldn’t do that. And not just because he cared so much about her.
Subaru could genuinely understand her feelings.
She was extremely wary. Wary of Subaru filling her emptiness with falsehoods.
“It’s natural when you have nothing. I can understand the feeling.”
“You cannot understand at all how it feels to forget everything and be totally empty.”
“No, actually, I was amnesiac just yesterday, so—”
“Huh? If you are going to lie, please pick something more believable.”
It was actually true, but of course Rem wouldn’t believe him. Of course, that was baked in. But Subaru wanted to get a measure. A measure of just how far apart they were.
Whether she would be willing to accept him telling her everything he knew.
And judging by their distance…
“I’ll wait for your heart to be ready.”
“…Oh.”
At his answer, Rem’s eyes widened. Subaru smiled at her surprise.
“I would love to hurry things along, and I definitely feel impatient. But there would be no point if I ignored your feelings or hurt you in doing it. So…”
“…You will wait? Until I have a change of heart?”
“No, no. What I’m waiting for is for your heart to be ready, not for it to change. Of course, I’m going to do my best so that you might be willing to see me in a new light, too.”
Rem had her hands full dealing with herself. It was arrogant to want her to compromise with him, too.
What she needed was to do her best for her own sake, and to bridge the gap between their hearts, Subaru himself had to build up a trust with her that did not pale in comparison to the Witch’s stench.
“ ”
Hearing the resolution in his voice, Rem’s lips trembled quietly, and then she deftly slid away, turning her back on him.
I guess I upset her…
Subaru was just reflecting on his poor choice of words, when—
“—Have some.”
“Eh?”
While he was looking down, Rem turned back around to face him and pushed something out at him. Subaru was shocked for a moment, and then his eyes focused, and he saw it was a skewer of grilled meat.
“Umm…what’s this?”
“Food. Or so I was told. It was given out to everyone in the camp, and I received some… Even if it is gradual, I must work on walking.”
Rem rubbed her legs with her free hand.
Like Subaru had thought earlier, Rem had her hands full dealing with her lost memory and the legs that wouldn’t move—So then what is this consideration for?
I thought I had managed to break all communication between us with that last exchange.
“…Will you take it already? My arm is tired.”
“R-right away! Understood!” Subaru reflexively straightened up. “…So, um, you already ate, then?”
“Huh? Why would I eat when this child hasn’t eaten yet? Of course I wouldn’t do something so selfish.”
Rem answered him coldly and glanced at the plate set at the edge of the tent. She took the cloth off it, took a skewer of meat, and brought it to Louis’s mouth. Letting Rem take care of her, Louis nibbled at the meat like a baby bird picking at seeds.
“…She’s like a baby.”
Rem watched her with a pleasant smile.
Looking at them, Subaru also hesitantly began to eat. The meat had only been skewered and grilled, nothing more, and he couldn’t tell what sort of meat it was.
Struggling with the rubbery texture, Subaru worked to digest his surprise at Rem’s behavior.
“Hard and bland… About on par with Emilia-tan or Beako’s cooking…”
Whenever it was their turn to cook, Emilia and Beatrice tended to go hard but strike out most of the time. And they had demonstrated both that same enthusiasm and that same level of unpolished skill during the trip through Auguria.
“What are you muttering…? Ah.”
“—?”
Glancing at Subaru, who was losing himself in memories, Rem’s eyes suddenly widened.
She was looking at Subaru. Which would presumably mean the reason she was surprised had something to do with his face.
“What is it? Please don’t say something sad, like this is your first time actually looking at my face.”
“It is not…that…but, umm…tears.”
“Tears?”
“…You’re crying. Did you not notice?”
Subaru’s breath caught in his throat as Rem slowly, carefully said those words. When he touched his cheek, his hand came away hot and wet, and he was surprised.
It was not some sudden lie from Rem—it was true.
“Huh? I’m crying?”
“Y-you are. Why? Umm, do your fingers hurt, or…?”
Wiping away the tears that dripped down his face, Subaru was confused by the wave of emotion that had overwhelmed him. But his tears were not because of his broken fingers.
It’s something else. Probably, it’s because of being able to spend a simple moment like this with Rem.
“ ”
It was not like things had completely settled down or anything. They were separated from Emilia and the others, did not have any way to communicate with them, were trapped in a land where it would be dangerous to reveal their identities, and he was in the unpleasant situation of having no connection with Rem. And to top it all off, the ultimate evil in this world, an Archbishop of the Witch Cult, was accompanying them—and the leader of this little band was the stupid, incompetent, reckless, and weak Subaru Natsuki.
There was absolutely no reason to be optimistic. Not a single one. And yet…
“…Being able to talk to you like this…eating together…it makes me happy.”
“ ”
“S-sorry. It probably doesn’t mean anything to you. Just another weird thing I’m saying. It’s natural it would feel disgusting to you… But it’s just how I really feel.”
Giving up on holding back his tears, Subaru just let them fall, sniffling as he looked at Rem.
“I’ve wanted to be able to spend a simple moment like this with you for so long.”
Putting the skewer down on his lap, Subaru managed to wrest out that much of an explanation.
His sniffling filled the tent as he wiped his tears with his sleeve.
For a little while, that awkward sound was all that filled the air…
“…I do not understand what you are saying.”
Rem’s voice was soft, like a faint breath.
Still wiping his tears, Subaru thought that was a natural answer from her. Even emotional instability had limits. How was she supposed to react to tears or smiles from someone she knew nothing about?
He had just judged that their hearts were too far apart not more than a few minutes earlier, and he’d already messed things up.
Maybe I should just talk to Todd and see about getting a second tent for tonight…
“But I wouldn’t laugh at your tears. I do find them unsettling… Unpleasant, even.”
At that unexpected response, Subaru raised his face.
Rem was rubbing Louis’s head as the girl lay on her lap right in front of him. She was not looking at him but was choosing her words carefully.
“…That is all. Please eat quickly. I am tired.”
“Ah, sure.”
Rem looked away as she said those words quickly, and Subaru was slow to understand. But remembering the skewer on his lap, he quickly started eating again.
“R-right. Yeah, tasty. Nice and salty.”
“That is because of your tears… Because of your stench, the food simply can’t be very tasty. It’s not fair.”
“That’s…umm… Well, I’ll try to think of a way to improve it.”
Rem’s response was cold and sour, but she had not told him to leave, nor had she complained that she did not want to eat with him. So it was up to him to think of some sort of plan.
In order to protect a relaxing moment like this, Subaru could face any trial or tribulation.
“You’re kind, Rem.”
“Please don’t say things that’ll confuse me. What is with you?”
Her response was as cold as ever, and Subaru couldn’t help a wry grimace.
“…But if you want to talk about being unfair, then I have something to say, too.”
“Something to say? What? If it is about your fingers, then…”
“…It’s her. The one resting on your lap.”
Subaru’s lip curled as he pointed at Louis, who was enjoying the best seat in the house. At that, Rem’s eyes narrowed, as if she were saying Not this again.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You are always talking about my… I don’t really like calling it a ‘stench,’ so I’ll say odor. But she has a similar sort of smell. You’re going to ignore that?”
He was talking about the Witch’s lingering scent, which grew stronger the more he died and reset. But that was connected to the Witch—and if it was related to the Witch Factor, then of course Louis the Archbishop should have had the same sort of stench.
Remembering Rem’s extreme reaction to the Witch Cultists, that should have been inevitable…
“…? What are you talking about? Please do not put yourself in the same category as her.”
“…Huh?”
“She does not have the same smell as you whatsoever. Please do not say such strange things in desperation.”
However, Rem’s response was entirely unexpected.
He stared back at her reflexively, but he didn’t see anything unusual in her gaze. She was not lying or trying to dupe him, either, from the looks of it.
Meaning she really doesn’t sense any miasma or lingering Witch’s scent from Louis.
“She can camouflage the miasma? But how?”
In Subaru’s experience, there were not that many people who could sense the miasma that was the Witch’s lingering scent. There was Rem, who had the biggest reaction to it, and then Beatrice and Ryuzu—just a handful of people, really, who had ever reacted to it.
And it was hard to imagine the cultists even thinking to hide something like that. They rampaged through the world like they owned the place. And yet…
“Are you done? If you are finished, I would like to put her to sleep.”
“Ah, umm… What you said before, is that true?”
“Enough.”
Rem completely shut him down. But her attitude just felt like proof that she was telling the truth.
“I am sorry, but could you please put away the plate? I will prepare the beds.”
“Uh, yeah, I got it. Umm, I won’t do anything, so don’t worry.”
“…You saying that only makes me worry more.”
Struck again by that hard voice, Subaru dejectedly left the tent to deal with the plate.
There were campfires visible here and there around the camp in the darkness. Subaru had not been given any orders, but there were people who would be on guard duty through the night.
He only knew of it from manga and games, but preparing for war was a difficult thing.
“…I’d like to get away from here as soon as possible.”
Todd was an amiable guy, but Subaru couldn’t get used to the feel of the battlefield.
He wanted to leave as soon as possible, and find a way to meet back up with Emilia and the others.
Having come to that decision, Subaru clenched the plate, then noticed something.
“…Huh? My fingers don’t hurt. Is that because the medicine’s already working?”
Subaru looked at his left hand and was surprised by the medicine’s effects. His hand did not feel quite right yet, but the fact that he could feel warmth again was proof that his hand was starting to work again.
“We were talking about healing magic and all, but this medicine is pretty damn fast, too…”
Thinking back to his conversation with Todd, Subaru shook his left hand a little and then started walking.
There were a lot of things he needed to think about. About Rem, about Louis, and about himself.
There’s a lot to do, but let’s try and improve things one step at a time.
As long as things can improve bit by bit, just like my hand, it will be fine.
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