My Happy Marriage (LN) - Volume 4 - Chapter 4

  CHAPTER 4  

Genuine Emotions Deep Inside

Time passed as everyone remained vigilant for an attack from Usui and the Gifted Communion. One night, when the cold weather had begun to seep into the bones—

“I took tomorrow morning off. Do you want to come with me to visit Godou?”

—Kiyoka abruptly put forth an offer to Miyo while they were eating dinner.

“You got permission to visit him?”

“Yeah. Finally.”

Seeing Kiyoka nod, Miyo unconsciously broke into a smile.

The fact that he was authorized to have visitors meant that Godou’s condition had stabilized for him to see other people; he was on the mend.

She was deeply relieved to hear that his treatment was progressing smoothly.

“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad.”

“Sure is.”

“…Kiyoka? Is something wrong?”

His reply was awfully curt. And the movement of his chopsticks had slowed to a crawl, until they finally stopped.

Had she said something to hurt him? Or worse, was he under the weather?

“Sorry. I was reflecting on what an intolerant person I am.”

“Huh? Intolerant?”

She tilted her head—she didn’t think there was anyone as magnanimous as Kiyoka.

Miyo hadn’t the slightest idea why their conversation had prompted him to make that comment in the first place.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m at fault here. I didn’t seriously think that your concern was coming from a weird place, but… How do I put it? My feelings got a bit ahead of myself.”

Kiyoka began offering some sort of excuse, unnaturally mixing in coughs as he went. Completely unable to understand the point of her fiancé’s extremely unusual behavior, Miyo only grew more and more confused.

“Um, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, it’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“…Maybe I shouldn’t be out and about after all……?”

Miyo wanted to go visit Godou in the hospital, but if that seemed like it would cause problems, she didn’t want to selfishly insist on it.

“Don’t go around doing anything uncalled for.”

Mukadeyama’s words surfaced in the back of her mind.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Kiyoka. With him at her side, even Usui himself wouldn’t have an easy time getting his hands on her, which was why she traveled with him to the station every day.

However, if anything happened while they were out walking around town, it would already be too late.

At this point, the things I do won’t just affect me alone.

She tightly clenched her fist in her lap. Then a large open palm enveloped it.

“Kiyoka…”

He’d moved around Miyo at some point and was now staring at her with a serene expression.

His bluish eyes were as perfectly clear and beautiful as ever, like gemstones. They were so arresting that they made Miyo instantly forget about everything else.

“Are you scared?”

“Yes.”

She nodded her head meekly, and her fiancé gently pulled her in by the shoulder.

“This is a good opportunity for me to clear things up. In all likelihood, Usui is not your real father.”

“What…?”

“It’s clear if you compare when Sumi Usuba was married into the Saimori family to the time you were born. If Sumi Usuba had a secret rendezvous with Usui after being married, that would be a different story, but…the previous head of the Saimoris seemed worried that she’d try to escape and took great pains to make sure she didn’t leave the estate. Additionally, the Usubas were still aware of Usui’s movements at that time, so the chances of a secret rendezvous happening sound exceedingly slim.

The way Kiyoka spoke, like he was reporting someone else’s words to her, clearly signaled that he had gotten information regarding the Usubas from Arata.

Clearly, he’d noticed Miyo’s anxieties over the question of her parentage, so he and Arata had investigated the matter for her.

“I know very well that you feel uneasy about what to do right now. That’s why I’ll do anything I can to clear away those anxieties for you. You can be more open about what you’re feeling, it’s okay.”

“……I understand.”

“I’m thinking about what I can do for myself, too. Right now, I want to overcome this period of uncertainty together.”

Kiyoka’s frank words stuck hard in her chest.

He wouldn’t leave Miyo to fend for herself, so she needed to stop thinking about everything under the assumption she could somehow manage alone.

“I…I’ve been worried about what I would do if something happened while I was walking outside. If I came across Usui out in town…”

Talking about what was on her mind openly like this made her chest feel a bit lighter. Kiyoka smiled faintly, shaking his head from side to side.

“You don’t need to worry. Seeing as Usui is leading an organization of his own, he won’t do anything to tarnish the Gifted Communion’s reputation with the commonfolk in broad daylight. Especially if he’s trying to coax you to his side. He’ll have plenty of other things to target, and plenty of other methods at his disposal.”

“Other things to target…?”

“Forget it. At any rate, you’ll be safe tomorrow, so we’re going to the hospital. Godou’s been stuck in bed for days on end, and it sounds like he’s bored out of his mind.

Miyo got the feeling Kiyoka had sidestepped an important point.

However, there were still too many things that remained unseen to her at the moment, and too many areas beyond her thoughts’ reach. The nagging sensation settled briefly in the back of her mind before exiting her thoughts, and she nodded back at Kiyoka’s smiling face.

Godou had been admitted to a military hospital. It was part of the military headquarters’ facilities, equipped with cutting-edge equipment and the empire’s most skilled doctors of all different fields in permanent residency.

Given it was a military facility, it was not readily open to anyone except soldiers, but naturally that wasn’t an issue for members of the armed forces. Their family members could also receive the treatment here, and they also had permission to visit patients.

Still, I never thought there would come a day when I’d visit the military headquarters.

That morning, as she was rocked back and forth in Kiyoka’s automobile, Miyo thought back to the day they first went out together.

If she remembered correctly, they had traveled via automobile then, too.

That spring, shortly after she had met Kiyoka for the first time, she had mistakenly assumed they would be parking his car in the headquarters after being told they were going to his workplace.

So many things had happened since that spring day. Both she and the environment had undergone drastic changes.

Part of her felt like that was forever ago, while another part of her felt like it was just yesterday.

Back then…I was so unsure of myself and always scared.

Kiyoka was kind, a far cry from the type of person the rumors had made him out to be.

That was why she’d wanted to remain at his side for as long as she could, but she didn’t have any Gift, and she wasn’t an outstanding noblewoman either, like her half-sister. That’s why she’d figured that Kiyoka would eventually rescind his marriage offer.

Just how much had she changed from back then?

Had she gotten greedier? Had she matured and grown?

She stole a glance at Kiyoka, his hands on the steering wheel next to her.

“What is it?”

She had only looked at him for a brief second, yet he had noticed her gaze and she averted her eyes.

“Nothing, I was simply recalling the first time you took me out.”

“Ahh, back then, huh…”

Looking back fondly on the memory, Kiyoka squinted his eyes in a smile.

Miyo faintly hoped that just as she looked back on the day as a wonderful yet embarrassing moment, Kiyoka would think of it equally as fondly.

The military headquarters—the Imperial Army base in the capital—was slightly removed from the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit station.

A number of large, imposing buildings lined up throughout the spacious plot of land, surrounded by a tall metal fence. The iron gate was shut fast, and through its lattice one could glimpse well-built soldiers coming and going.

Since Kiyoka was an officer, he naturally wasn’t subjected to any questioning, briefly greeting the gate guard before advancing the automobile inside the base’s walls.

“Are you nervous?”

Something about Kiyoka’s question amused her, and Miyo couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Tee-hee, oh, Kiyoka.”

“What?”

His dejected reply only made her giggle even more.

“I mean, come now, Kiyoka. It wasn’t long ago when I went to the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit station that you asked the same thing. ‘Are you nervous?’ Just like that. Tee-hee-hee.”

“Don’t laugh… What else would I say?”

“I know. Thank you. You don’t need to worry about me.”

The way Miyo used to be, she would wither after, rudely assuming that Kiyoka himself was actually worried that she would make some big mistake because of her nerves and embarrass him.

But now she could chuckle like this, because Kiyoka and the people in his life cared about Miyo.

“This isn’t a laughing matter… I don’t really want to say this, but you need to be mentally prepared to be here.”

“I will.”

The military headquarters wasn’t the same as the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Station.

Most soldiers didn’t possess any supernatural abilities, and Gift-users within the military, in some respects, received special treatment. Miyo had heard that there were many who had complicated feelings regarding Gift-users because of that.

On top of this, anyone who was a bit more knowledgeable of this situation understood that Kiyoka’s fiancée had Usuba blood, making her a relative of the criminal at the center of it all, Naoshi Usui.

She had been shot plenty of rude looks at the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit station, but apparently that wouldn’t compare to what she’d face here.

“I’m still fine, though.”

She was used to stares.

Miyo wasn’t used to them because she wanted to be; she had endured her share of painful experiences because of them, but at this point, she had finally become able to accept that such glares had, in fact, served to make her who she was now.

She was able to recognize that this was her forte.

Miyo got out of the automobile and followed behind Kiyoka at his side while they made for the hospital. She did indeed sense many curious stares, ones that could only be described as inconsiderate, from the soldiers walking by, but they didn’t bother her as much as she’d expected.

…After all, I get the feeling that Kiyoka stands out more than me here.

Between the two of them, the soldiers’ interest fell on Kiyoka boldly walking forward, carrying the flowers and desserts he had bought as get-well gifts on the way, in his arms.

“That’s the Kudou family’s…”

“Is that him? I heard he’s quite skilled.”

“Even the top brass doesn’t have authority over some of the staff, and—”

“…So that’s what he looks like, huh.”

The whispers she overheard were clearly about her fiancée.

Kiyoka almost never showed up around headquarters, it seemed, so his presence piqued the other soldiers’ interest. With someone of Kiyoka’s standing in front of her, Miyo’s lineage was trivial by comparison.

It’s almost a bit of a letdown.

A few soldiers went deathly pale and fled as soon as they laid eyes on him. Miyo wondered where exactly that reaction came from.

Miyo looked around, thinking about how she would get lost on her own because the buildings looked so similar. Eventually, the two arrived at the hospital.

Kiyoka had come to visit Godou once, right after he had been admitted, so there was only a brief exchange with the receptionist before they headed straight for Godou’s room.

When Kiyoka and Miyo arrived in front of his hospital room, they found a male doctor in a white coat exiting.

“Oh, well if it isn’t Kiyoka!”

He looked around thirty years old. The doctor, tall and lanky with an unkempt beard, addressed Kiyoka with an almost capricious grin.

“Been a while,” Kiyoka replied, looking truly and deeply disgusted.

“Hmmm, looks like you haven’t changed, have you? What an arrogant way to treat an old man! Hee-hee.”

The doctor’s peculiar laugh made Miyo’s skin crawl.

Though, from the familiarity he showed toward Kiyoka, they appeared to be acquainted. Just what sort of relationship did they have? She was simultaneously curious and repulsed.

“…Enough with that creepy laugh of yours.”

“He-hee. Come on, who cares about the way someone laughs? Life’s a lot more peaceful if you don’t sweat the small stuff, you know.”

“Haaah… Well, how’s Godou doing?”

Another he-hee slipped out of the doctor at Kiyoka’s sigh.

“Good enough to have visitors. His wounds probably don’t stand out as much as they used to. Though, his stamina’s dropped remarkably, so I’d say it’ll be a prolonged stay.”

“Does it look like he’ll recover before the end of the year?”

“Hmmm, I’d say he’ll easily be able to make it back before then.”

“I see. Appreciate it.”

The doctor made to leave, and Miyo bowed slightly when their eyes met. He flashed her a truly repulsive smirk, causing her hasty smile to waver.

Unable to stand there any longer, Miyo asked Kiyoka about the doctor as he put his hand on the hospital room door.

“Yes, he’s a relative from my mother’s side. He has a healing Gift—we’re coming in.”

Although he announced their presence, Kiyoka opened the door without waiting for a reply, and Miyo followed behind him into the hospital room.

While the place wasn’t exactly spacious, it was still private, and none too cramped. Godou sat in the back of the room, propped up on a clean white bed.

“Oh, Commander!”

Ignoring Godou’s exaggerated waving at seeing them arrive, Kiyoka picked up from where he left off.

“…His healing Gift is truly outstanding, but his personality is a bit of a problem. He’s not necessarily evil, but…”

“I see.”

“Another drawback is, while his help will heal injuries very well, he charges an exorbitant amount for it as a ‘special service fee.’ However, there’s no question he’s got skills, enough to make the fees worth it when push truly comes to shove and we’re out of options.”

Essentially, this meant that Godou’s injuries right now were horrible enough to warrant the doctor’s aid.

If Kiyoka ever faced injuries like that, would she be able to remain level-headed? Miyo couldn’t imagine the possibility right now, but perhaps she needed to prepare herself for such a situation.

“Hey now! Didn’t you come here to check on me? Don’t just ignore me.”

Following Godou’s cry of resentment at being totally ignored, Miyo heard a chuckle.

“Ah-hah-hah. How delightful. Godou, you truly are so entertaining.”

“Stuff it!”

Miyo hadn’t noticed a figure concealed in the shadow of the partition screen.

The visitor before them was dressed in a gaudy kimono and toying with a fan in his hands, a young man with all the appearances of a playboy—the head of the Tatsuishi family, Kazushi Tatsuishi.

Kazushi appeared to be entertaining himself by teasing Godou, as usual.

“It’s been nonstop shouting and yelling with you, Godou. How sad when I traveled all this way here to see you.”

“Did anyone even ask you to come?”

“Come now, Godou, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Since when?!”

After having a good laugh at Godou’s shouting, Kazushi snapped open his fan and stood up.

“Well then, I suppose I should be heading out.”

“Please, go right ahead. Finally, what a relief.”

“I’ll swing by some other time.”

“Don’t!”

Kazushi donned his brightly colored haori overcoat and smiled as he looked over at Miyo and Kiyoka.

She hadn’t seen him in a while, but she still couldn’t believe he was the head of the Tatsuishi family. “Prodigal son of a noble family” was a much more fitting description.

“Mr. Kudou, good to see you.”

“Likewise. Tatsuishi, did you ask Major General Ookaito for permission to come here?”

“That’s right. I heard Godou had been seriously injured, so that got me curious. It sounded amusing, too.”

“Try to rein in those tasteless jokes of yours.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Kazushi departed the hospital room with a casual wave.

Kiyoka watched him leave together with a look of exasperation on his face, then came up beside Godou’s bed. For some reason, this prompted the other man to burst into laughter.

“Pfft! Ah-hah-hah-hah! You, Commander? Flowers? Pffft, this just looks wrong!”

“…………”

Miyo glanced sideways to gauge Kiyoka’s reaction; he was clearly cloaking anger beneath his surly expression.

She often wondered if Godou intentionally tried to push Kiyoka’s buttons. If that was so, then he wasn’t much better than Kazushi, who had come here specifically to tease Godou.

The thought would likely offend him, so she kept her mouth shut.

“You certainly seem to be doing well. I guess our visit wasn’t necessary.”

Looking down at Godou with ice cold eyes, Kiyoka passed the bouquet to Miyo, telling her to arrange them for him, before placing the desserts on top of a nearby shelf and turning away from both of them.

Miyo was taken aback at seeing her fiancé grow so quick to anger.

“Kiyoka?”

A-are we going to leave already?

As Miyo lamented the fact that they had still only just arrived, Kiyoka turned back to her for a moment.

“I’m going to step out for bit. Miyo, you can stay here and relax for now.”

“Oh, okay……”

Why was he leaving after we had come all this way to see Godou?

Godou’s teasing couldn’t have actually angered him, she just knew it. If this was enough to make Kiyoka so mad he didn’t want to be in the same room as the man, Godou’s life would have ended a long time ago considering how many jokes he cracked.

Moreover, Miyo had the vague sense that something was off about Kiyoka as she watched him leave. She debated whether she should follow him or not.

Why…?

Though she was at a loss, she did as she was told for the time being, opening up the bouquet in her arms and arranging it in an empty glass vase.

It appeared that Kazushi hadn’t brought any flowers of his own for his visit, so the glass vase had been still stored away unused.

“Sorry to make you do that, Miyo.”

“Not at all.”

Tasks like this were a cinch for her.

Miyo replied with a smile at Godou as he apologized with his hand on the back of his head.

Godou came off just as energetic and upbeat as always, but there were more white bandages and gauzes peeking out in places from his robes than she had expected, and they looked painful.

This was even after he had gotten permission to have visitors. Miyo shuddered at the thought of how horrible his original injuries must have been.

“Um, Godou. I wanted to, um, take this chance to, well. I don’t know how I should say it, but… I am truly, truly sorry.”

Finished arranging the flowers, Miyo turned back to Godou and bowed deeply.

His injuries were Naoshi Usui’s fault. He was the Usubas’ responsibility, and Miyo couldn’t claim to be totally uninvolved herself.

Apologizing might have put Godou in an awkward spot, but she couldn’t just stand there and do nothing.

“Please, there’s nothing that you need to apologize for, Miyo.”

“But—”

Godou slowly shook his head.

“I could say not to worry about it, but that’s probably impossible, huh? The people at fault here are the ones who did this, and who are planning to do even worse—Naoshi Usui and the Gifted Communion—not you.”

“……Okay.”

“So I should really be the one thanking you for coming to visit me.”

Godou’s smiling face was the same as always, friendly and cheerful.

Miyo was glad he was okay. If he had lost his life, there would have been a void in the lives of both her and Kiyoka.

She sat down on the small wooden chair at Godou’s bedside.

“Do your injuries hurt?”

“I mean…,” Godou evasively replied to Miyo’s question. “Up until two, three days ago, I was honestly in a looooot of pain. My whole body was wrapped up in bandages, and the burn wounds under them were awful.”

Godou’s tone was light, as though he wasn’t talking about anything serious, but his statement was heavy.

With severe burns inflicted all over his body, normally one would be drifting between life and death—and probably beyond saving. Fortunately, Godou not only possessed the sturdier body of a Gift-user, but he’d also gotten help from someone with a healing Gift, so his life had been saved.

She heard that there were other corps beyond the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit who had also been caught in explosions at other Gifted Communion hideouts, but by some miracle, there were no fatalities.

“Once I’m back in action, I’ll round up all those Gifted Communion guys, just you watch. I may not look it, but I hold on to my grudges for a looooong time!”

“P-please give it your all, then.”

“Sure will!”

After coming to a pause in their conversation, Miyo grew worried about Kiyoka, who still hadn’t returned.

Perhaps he was having a long talk with that strange doctor, a relative of his mother’s.

As Miyo speculated about her fiancé’s whereabouts, Godou murmured something.

“When I was first admitted to the hospital……even our fearless leader was at a loss for words. He definitely feels partly responsible for the attack.”

Miyo’s chest tightened at hearing that Godou’s injuries had truly been quite severe.

Kiyoka wasn’t verbose to begin with, but this was coming from the man who was always working at his side, so the sight of the wounds must have truly shocked him.

“I’ll probably get yelled at again for telling you things I shouldn’t, buuut…!”

“Huh?”

“The commander feels responsible as my superior officer, that’s obvious. But beyond that……I think it brought him back to the past.”

“To the past?”

Godou nodded without any hint of silliness, a rare look of seriousness on his face, before he cast his gaze outside the hospital window.

The sky, which had been clear when Miyo left that morning, had since been overtaken by overcast gray clouds. It looked like it would snow at any moment.

Kiyoka and Mr. Godou’s past together……

Kiyoka’s past—Miyo couldn’t contain her curiosity, especially after meeting Kaoruko.

Miyo tensed up slightly, wondering what exactly she might hear from the mouth of Kiyoka’s devoted subordinate.

“See, my dad was the commander of the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit before Kiyoka.”

“Your father?”

“Yes. He was an esteemed Gift-user. Strong and adored by his men, too. Me, well… I rebelled against having a dad like that and studied abroad.”

This was all news to Miyo. Though one part about Godou’s statement stuck out more than anything.

He was an esteemed Gift-user.

Noticing his use of the past tense, Miyo realized there was a chance Godou’s father had already passed on.

“My dad hounded Commander Kiyoka back in his student days to join the military. He wanted him to become the unit’s next commander. But the commander wasn’t interested in joining the military, so he went on to study at the imperial university. Even after this, my dad refused to give up and kept inviting him to join.”

Miyo couldn’t parse Godou’s expression. He continued to gaze outside the window without once turning back to face her.

“One day, my dad was killed in the line of duty. He was up against a fierce opponent, though he could have easily beaten him if he’d had Commander Kiyoka at his side. The emperor wound up ordering him to help my dad, but he didn’t make it in time.”

“That’s horrible……”

Miyo clutched her chest, empathizing with the feelings Kiyoka felt at the time.

“Now, obviously it’s not the commander’s fault that my dad died. But when I returned from studying abroad, I was convinced he was responsible for my dad’s death. Thanks to that, the commander felt incredibly guilty, and he ultimately ended up joining the unit.”

Godou let out a brief sigh and turned to Miyo with a forlorn grin.

“The day my dad died, all of the soldiers got out unharmed. I’m guessing that since I was in danger of being the only fatality when the Gifted Communion attacked, the commander couldn’t help recalling what happened back then.”

“………”

Miyo got the sense that no matter what words she offered him, they wouldn’t be the right ones.

She didn’t regret hearing Godou’s tale. Nevertheless.

“I’m so sorry. I—I shouldn’t have heard all of this.”

“Nah, I just started blabbing on by myself. You want to know more about the commander, right?”

“But how…?”

Miyo’s eyes widened at Godou’s all too accurate reading of her.

Kiyoka didn’t often talk about himself with Miyo. But that was precisely why she then wanted to learn more about him, and she ultimately thought about how inconvenient such a desire would be to Kiyoka himself.

That was why she hadn’t said a peep to anyone about it, and yet…

It wasn’t good to divulge something that Kiyoka himself didn’t want to talk about. Even Miyo had plenty of episodes in her past she wouldn’t want to bring up voluntarily.

I’d rather not talk about painful memories, and I wouldn’t want anyone to learn about them, either…

However, there was the moment when she’d realized that Kiyoka already knew most of what there was to know about Miyo’s difficult past. She remembered just how utterly relieved she had felt.

“Besides, you know how awful the commander is with words. I figured he prooobably hasn’t properly told you any of this. And it seems like I was right on the money. Sheesh, give me a break.”

He capped off his statement with a laugh. Miyo couldn’t see any traces of Godou’s clouded expression from moments ago.

She unintentionally directed a nagging question at Godou.

“Is it okay for me to directly ask Kiyoka about his past?”

A past that one wanted to keep buried.

Obviously, he must have had moments like that, too. Even if Miyo implored him to tell her, even if she insisted that she wanted to know all about it, would he allow it? Would she end up hurting him?

These were judgments she should have made for herself, and nothing would come from asking Godou about any of it. Still, she wanted the opinion of someone credible for guidance.

Godou squinted with an unusually faint and serene smile.

“I’d wager the commander would be a lot happier to hear you ask him outright. I’m sure he’ll want to confide in you about anything and everything if you’re the one asking, Miyo. That’s just my take, of course.”

“You think so…?”

“At this point, you should be able to guess how the commander feels without having to ask me, right? Either trust in your choice and confront him, or back down—either’s good for me.”

He was absolutely right.

Miyo had spent a much shorter length of time with Kiyoka than Godou or Kaoruko had. Still, she felt like she had a unique insight into her fiancé. Where would she get if she didn’t trust it?

“Thank you very much. I’ll give it a shot.”

“If by any chance you get sick of that brusque and frigid commander of ours, you’re always welcome to come with meeee. I’d welcome you with open arms,” Godou joked, a huge grin on his face.

Miyo smiled and nodded.

“I will.”

“All right!”

“What’s ‘all right’ now?” Kiyoka asked as he came back into the room.

Godou stiffened at the question.

“Nothing, sir! Everything’s perfectly normal!”

Seeing his subordinate earnestly saluting him, Kiyoka fixed him with the briefest of cold stares before sighing.

“Miyo, it’s time we get going. Satisfied?”

“Yes.”

Miyo was worried about Godou’s wounds, but for the time being, she had confirmed for herself that he was doing well.

Her current situation didn’t allow for much freedom, so she didn’t know if she would be able to come visit him again, but this was enough to put her mind at ease. This was likely true for Kiyoka, too.

“Be sure to come by again soon, okaaaay?”

“How about you hurry up and get better so you can get back to work, fool.”

“Noooo thanks! I still haven’t had my fill of these lazy days of eating and sleeping yet!”

“………”

“Don’t worry. With all this free time, I’ll be sure to think about the absolutely perfect way to get my revenge on that Naoshi Usui!”

Godou waved, and Miyo returned it with a small one of her own before she departed the hospital room together with Kiyoka.

Watching his commanding officer and their fiancée leave his room, Godou reclined his upper body back down into the bed.

While he was grateful that people had been coming one after another to see him immediately following the end of his visitor restrictions, it made him a bit tired.

“I’ve definitely lost some stamina…”

Healing Gifts mended people faster than normal treatment, and cleanly, without any lingering complications, but in exchange, they consumed a large amount of the patient’s stamina.

As a result, the treatment wasn’t perfect, and it required a hospital stay as well.

However, Godou was very aware of these side effects, and his true desire was to get back to work as fast as possible.

We’re lacking personnel as is, so how can I lay in bed while everyone else is working hard?

Closing his eyes, feeling impatient and agonized at a situation outside of his control, some time passed before another visitor arrived to see him.

He hadn’t heard about anyone from the main house or his family coming, so he turned his head, wondering who it could be.

Slowly opening up the hospital room door and stepping inside was a young woman wearing a military uniform he vaguely recognized.

“It’s nice to see you again, Godou. How are your injuries?”

“……Kaoruko Jinnouchi? That you?”

“Bull’s-eye!”

Watching her comically snap her fingers with her reply, Godou was convinced it was none other than his former comrade, who he hadn’t seen in years, Kaoruko Jinnouchi.

While he knew that she had come from the old capital to fill in for him, he’d never expected her to come visit.

Though they hadn’t been in touch for several years, they had been fairly close before she was stationed in the old capital, so he wasn’t especially surprised to see her.

Godou propped up his upper body again and sighed.

“As you can see, my wounds have gotten a lot better. Aren’t you supposed to be on duty right now, though?”

At his suspicious questioning, Kaoruko sat down in the wooden chair Miyo had used earlier and replied:

“No need to worry. I’ve been tasked with guarding Miyo, but today Mr. Kudou said he’d be with her all morning, so I took some time off.”

“I see.”

Though her physical strength and stamina were inferior to a man’s, Kaoruko was skilled.

Since she and Miyo were both women, she could accompany her on a much wider range of activities, making her an ideal bodyguard.

“Miyo and Mr. Kudou were here just little while ago, right?” Kaoruko quietly murmured, looking at the flowers in their vase and the desserts still in their box.

“Yup. Though the commander was as terse as ever.”

“I see you two are still thick as thieves.”

Kaoruko smiled with amusement at Godou’s exaggerated shoulder shrug.

“You handling the work all right, Jinnouchi?”

“Reasonably well enough. I said I’m guarding Miyo, but the truth is my days are spent doing little chores around the station with her. It’s enough to keep me from getting bored.”

Suddenly, a memory related to Kaoruko surfaced in the back of Godou’s mind.

Right, now I remember, wasn’t Jinnouchi—

Her family ran a long-standing and prestigious dojo. Her father was the master there, and Godou recalled her mother had come from a Gift-user family.

While her mother herself was Giftless, due to what was called atavism, Kaoruko possessed a Gift of her own. In addition to her talents with a sword she had inherited from her father, she was seen as quite an outstanding warrior.

That was why there had been talk of her potentially becoming Kiyoka’s wife.

Ah, that probably explains it.

Godou guessed the current situation and ruffled his bangs with his hand.

Miyo had always been an anxious and timid girl, but today there had been more doubt in her eyes than usual. The reason behind her interest in Kiyoka’s past was likely the woman sitting in front of him.

“Jinnouchi.”

When Godou addressed her, Kaoruko turned her eyes from the flower vase to look at him.

“What is it?”

“So, tell me. Are you still in love with the commander?”

Kaoruko’s eyes widened like saucers.

“…What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, c’mon. You’ve had a thing for the commander for a long time now, right?”

“Not really…”

He felt a mixture of pity and annoyance as he watched her avert her eyes and cast them down slightly.

Godou didn’t think he was outstandingly perceptive, but nevertheless, after working together, he had naturally picked up on Kaoruko’s feelings.

Kiyoka saw Kaoruko as just another person he worked with, no more than any one of the many potential marriage partners he’d had over the years. But things were different for Kaoruko.

“I’m not trying to criticize you or anything. I think anyone’s free to have feelings for whoever they want.”

“………”

“Thing is, though…”

Godou trailed off.

He didn’t want to hurt Kaoruko on purpose, but if he said this, she was probably going to cry. However, there were some things even Godou couldn’t tolerate, so he was left with no other choice.

“You gotta stop trying to meddle with their relationship, okay?”

Kaoruko gasped and looked up.

Judging by her reaction, it was clear that she had already done something uncalled for.

“I—”

“Don’t try to act innocent now. I think everyone can choose who they love, but I don’t like underhanded behavior.”

It had taken years for Kiyoka to find peace of mind in Miyo.

Godou understood because he had been by Kiyoka’s side, watching him for as long as he had. Fate had brought those two together. Each of them soothed the other, and that was how it should be—without someone else getting between them.

Godou felt bad that Kaoruko’s feelings had never amounted to anything, but he wouldn’t stand for her messing with their emotions.

“……What do you know, Godou?”

He wasn’t deterred by Kaoruko’s strained, labored voice.

“If you plan on getting in between them and disrupting things, that’s wrong. At the very least, I know for certain that sort of behavior isn’t going to benefit anyone, including you.”

“Excuse me!”

Godou heaved a heavy sigh, without trying to stop Kaoruko from flying out of his hospital room.

The rest was her own problem to face. Nevertheless, he felt a slight twinge of regret. Maybe he had said too much.

Since when did I become such a busybody, hmmm…?

Whether Kaoruko resented him or not, he preferred that much more than any unnecessary discord popping up in Kiyoka and Miyo’s relationship.

Godou laid his now very exhausted body down in his bed and drifted into a light sleep.

Right after they exited the hospital, Kiyoka suddenly turned back to Miyo.

“Want to walk outside for a bit?”

“……Sure.”

They both fell silent and continued past the gate they had originally entered as they left the grounds.

There was still a bit of time before they had to head back to the station. Miyo had no reason to refuse an offer from Kiyoka, who still seemed a bit different than usual.

Passing through a narrow path from the street in front of the gate, absent of many normal passersby, they stepped out into the main street.

“Sorry. Are you cold?”

Miyo shook her head at Kiyoka’s worried expression.

She was wearing her haori overcoat with a scarf around her neck, fully protected from the cold. Of course, that didn’t make the seasonable outside air blowing into her face any warmer, but it wasn’t chilly enough to make her tremble and shiver.

“I’m fine.”

“That’s good.”

Without another word, Kiyoka once again faced forward and continued walking. However, it was very much like her fiancé to slow his gait down enough for Miyo to keep up behind him.

Like Kiyoka.

She felt this was “a Kiyoka thing to do,” because he had treated her this way ever since they’d first met. That’s just the type of person her fiancé was… But was it okay for her to then want to learn even more about him?

They walked in silence for a little while, then they both arrived at a sparsely populated park.

The leaves on the row of trees were almost all fallen, with their bare branches looking forlorn. It appeared that with the seasonal weather, the number of people in areas like this had dropped dramatically.

“Um, Kiyoka?”

Miyo quietly spoke up, at this point feeling slightly anxious about how far he planned on going.

At this, Kiyoka stopped, and without turning around—

“Guess we should take a bit of break.”

—mumbled, as if talking to himself.

They sat side by side on a long bench. There were about three fists worth of open space between them.

Miyo glanced over at her unusually quiet fiancé.

Is he in a bad mood…? No, it doesn’t look like it.

Judging from Kiyoka’s expression, which she had gotten markedly better at reading, he looked less upset or angry, and more precisely like something was weighing on his mind.

However, Miyo couldn’t figure why exactly this was so.

“Kiyoka.”

“What?”

She instinctively spoke to him again, but he replied without looking her way.

“Are you worried about something?”

She got the feeling it was the right thing to ask.

The story she had heard from Godou came to mind. The story about Godou’s father.

Nevertheless, she didn’t have the courage to suddenly bring the topic up, so she made a half-hearted attempt at broaching the subject with him.

“Did Godou tell you something?”

Kiyoka folded his arms and quietly closed his eyes as he answered Miyo with a question of his own.

There had clearly been something off about his demeanor during their visit. Kiyoka must have been aware of it himself. Perhaps he thought that Miyo’s curiosity about his unusual behavior would then prompt her to ask Godou about it.

Miyo came out with a straight answer, worried that she had danced around the subject like a coward.

“He told me a little bit.”

“……Did he now?”

“Kiyoka, I—”

She cut herself off, alarmed.

Miyo was letting herself get carried away and asking about something she shouldn’t, wasn’t she?

No, I can’t let myself shrink back from this.

If she did anger him or make him sad, then she’d apologize. It was far past the point where waiting hesitantly would solve anything.

“Would you prefer if I didn’t know more about your past?”

When she looked at him straight in the eyes and asked him this candidly, she could tell Kiyoka was taken back in surprise.

“Miyo……”

“I want to know more about you. It doesn’t have to be everything. It’s just that you know so much about me, so I want to learn more about you, too.”

Meeting Kaoruko had made her realize something.

The Kiyoka who she knew, while indeed real and genuine, was only a facet of his whole personhood. Even though she was his betrothed, Miyo knew less about him than anyone around her.

Still, it feels a bit like something I can’t intentionally ask him about.

There wasn’t anything Miyo could do with the information, even if she did learn more about him. Nevertheless.

Kiyoka gently laid his hand over Miyo’s, which was resting on the space in the bench between them. His hard, yet warm palm always soothed her.

“I’d be thrilled……though maybe that’s not the best way to put it.”

“Huh?”

“I’d like nothing more than to tell you everything there is to know about me.”

At last, Kiyoka turned his beautiful blue eyes her way.

He was worried about her. Up until now, she had just been taking advantage of his consideration. Fully wrapped up in dealing with her own self, and constantly having Kiyoka adapting himself for her.

But things couldn’t keep going like this. She wanted them to both support each other going forward, which was exactly why she wanted to get a better understanding of him if she could.

“Still, there’s no fun to be had from leaning more about me, you know.”

“I-it doesn’t have to be fun!”

Kiyoka let out a throaty laugh.

“Hah-hah-hah!”

He chuckled loudly, as if he couldn’t contain himself.

It was Miyo’s first time seeing him react like this.

“Sh-sheesh! Why’re are you laughing?”

“Right, sorry. It just appears like I had misunderstood a few things.”

“Misunderstood?”

Kiyoka calmed himself down and nodded before he cleared up Miyo’s confusion.

“It’s pathetic, but I was much more unsettled by this latest incident than I thought I would be. I didn’t want to let you see me looking so shaken up.”

“What……?”

“It was silly of me to put up a front, right? But the truth is, I was worried that you might get fed up with me or grow disgusted with me.”

Miyo unconsciously fluttered her eyes at the unexpected explanation.

Fed up? Grow disgusted? There was no way she’d feel anything of the sort.

“Though, I did believe that there was no way you’d leave me.”

“Of course. I’ve decided for myself that even if you wanted us to go our separate ways, or if there was some event that kept us apart, I would pursue you no matter what.

The sincere words came together with shocking eloquence.

She would never leave his side. Saying that out loud reaffirmed her resolve.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let go of your hand, either.”

“……Thank you.”

The two gazed at each other for a moment, before Miyo, the first to come to her senses, remembered something very important.

Maybe it’ll be okay to ask him now.

She couldn’t let this moment end without confirming things for herself. Nevertheless, it was something she found hard to ask about, and she didn’t especially want to discuss it in the first place.

Steeling herself, she began to speak.

“Kiyoka.”

“What?”

“Were you and Kaoruko in love with each other?”

Kiyoka’s smile instantly froze over.

“……What makes you think that?”

“Because there was talk about you two getting engaged. Kaoruko is wonderful and pretty… As far as I can see, you seem like you wouldn’t be particularly opposed to such an idea, either.”

Kiyoka’s eyes, which had been smiling gently moments before, quickly grew frightening. Meanwhile, Miyo’s voice grew quieter and quieter as she continued.

Was it just her imagination, or did it feel like the already cold outside air had chilled even further?

“I didn’t seem that opposed, huh?”

“Um, I mean—”

“Sorry. This is my fault.”

Miyo was terrified that she might have angered him. Instead, Kiyoka bowed to her, leaving her flabbergasted.

“Kiyoka, why are you apologizing…?”

“There’s nothing between Jinnouchi and me. Not now, nor in the past.”

“Huh? But…”

They looked like they were on such good terms together, but in truth, there had been nothing between them?

Kaoruko was different from the noblewomen Kiyoka despised. While beautiful herself, she was nice to others and charming. For Kiyoka, there was nothing to particularly dislike about her, and even now, remained friendly with her.

My chest hurts…

Miyo was shocked at how tremendously relieved she was to hear there had been nothing between the two. Yet, the more and more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t understand why the marriage offer had been called off.

“I’m sorry if I made you uneasy. I was in the wrong for not explaining things from the start… Actually, I’ve had the feeling like you’ve wanted to talk to me about something lately, but was this really what has been bothering you?”

“Yes.”

She had been too scared to ask. The anxiety about the possibility he might answer by telling her they had been in love once was too much for her to bear.

“Haaah, so I was overthinking things again…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Let’s head back.”

“Okay.

As they returned to the military headquarters, Kiyoka murmured something to her.

“If there’s something you want to know about me, Miyo, I want you to ask me right away next time. It might be impossible for me to answer everything when it comes to my work, but I’ll be as honest as I can.”

“I will!”

If this was how things were going to play out, Miyo wished she hadn’t scared herself off of asking him sooner. Overjoyed, she gained a spring in her step.

After practically fleeing the hospital, Kaoruko returned to the station. Lunch hadn’t started yet, so she still had some time off.

She’d ended up wandering into the empty cafeteria and was now staring down at the surface of the water in her cup.

“So, tell me. Are you still in love with the commander?”

She replayed Godou’s words again and again.

Kaoruko knew from the very start that these feelings of hers would never ever come to fruition.

That was why she had given up on them back when she was a teenager.

Everything clicked when the person she had yearned for flatly refused her marriage proposal—she was unwanted. She cried for days on end afterward, too depressed to eat.

However, she persuaded herself that Kiyoka had turned down all the marriage offers that had come his way, so if she could at least stay by his side as a comrade-in-arms, then she could remain special to him. That was how she got back on her feet.

But despite it all.

She had been unable to watch on in silence when a woman who was loved appeared before her.

I’m an ugly disgrace.

Kaoruko was sure that her behavior must have hurt Miyo.

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to stop, because seeing Miyo in pain brought her a sense of relief. Controlled by her envy, she found herself so ugly and detestable that it made her sick to her stomach.

After actually meeting Miyo Saimori and spending time with her, things truly sank in. Kaoruko could never beat Miyo.

I’ve lost.

The type of femininity and grace that Miyo had…her tranquility, sincerity, and kindness, were all qualities Kaoruko lacked.

If Miyo was the woman Kiyoka loved, then no matter how much effort she gave, she’d never be able to catch his attention. Right after she met Miyo, she said they “had a lot in common,” but as women, they were total opposites.

The corners of her eyes grew hot. The reflection in her cup of water grew hazy and distorted.

If only I was more ladylike. If only I could become more like Miyo…

Then, maybe, Kiyoka might even look her way, too.

She detested herself for fantasizing about such impossibilities.

“Jinnouchi.”

Right as warm droplets fell down onto her hands, Kaoruko looked up as she heard her name.

“…Yabunaga.”

Unbeknownst to her, the master of the cafeteria, former soldier, and current chef Yabunaga had approached her at some point. He was standing by her side, looking down at her.

“Wh-what is it?”

Lunch was approaching, so normally he’d have his hands full in the kitchen.

At Kaoruko’s question, Yabunaga silently held out the white handkerchief he was holding.

“Can’t have you crying in a place like this right before the other bastards file in here to eat.”

His actual words were vitriolic, but his poorly concealed thoughtfulness came through to Kaoruko, considering he’d left his kitchen during the busiest time of day to come personally hand her a handkerchief.

“…Thank you.”

Verbalizing her gratitude sent more tears spilling from her eyes. Giving in to his kindness, she accepted the handkerchief and wiped away the falling drops.

In response, Yabunaga grunted and wordlessly pointed with his chin toward the entrance to the cafeteria.

“Huh?”

When Kaoruko turned to look, there she saw Miyo peeking into the room and observing the two of them.

“You’re back early,” Kaoruko began after waving the reticent Miyo into the cafeteria and motioning her to sit down beside her.

Yabunaga had cleaned away the cup that had been in front of her, and in its place were two teacups filled with warm green tea.

“We took a bit of a detour on the way back, so I don’t think we’re that early…,” Miyo hesitantly replied while tilting her head.

Kaoruko imagined that they must’ve enjoyed a friendly stroll together after their hospital visit. The wounds in her heart festered even more.

No matter how much she despised herself for being so disgusting, she couldn’t quell her jealousy.

“Um, Kaoruko.”

“What?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Kaoruko had braced herself for what Miyo would say next, but she couldn’t believe her ears when an apology fell from her lips.

Why are you the one apologizing?

It was clear as day that Kaoruko was the one who needed to apologize. Not Miyo.

This thought made her more and more irritated, even though she understood her resentment was misguided and unjustified. She had taken pains to avoid openly revealing the jealousy in her heart, but even this was starting to feel ridiculous.

“Why?”

Her voice came out lower than expected as she asked this of Miyo.

However, Miyo didn’t seem to notice the state her bodyguard was in, and she guiltily explained the reason behind her apology.

“I was mistaken. When I heard that you had been a potential marriage candidate for Kiyoka, I thought maybe……um, that you had an especially close relationship together.”

Kaoruko instinctively balled her hand into a tight fist.

Oh, how she wished she did have the sort of special relationship Miyo spoke about. How many times had she dreamed about it?

“I was mistaken, and I think that……I was probably jealous of you, Kaoruko.”

The moment the words reached Kaoruko’s ears, her emotions bubbled up all at once.

“Why?!” Kaoruko shouted, shooting to her feet and knocking her seat to the floor behind her. Miyo was taken aback.

Her pretty face annoyed Kaoruko even further. Whether it was all irrational or not, she couldn’t keep her feelings in check.

“You weren’t mistaken at all. Don’t wave it away like that. Sure, there was no special relationship between us, but…but, I had feelings for him!”

“…………”

“He’s hard on both himself and other people, yet strong and deeply caring toward his comrades. For a long time, I admired Mr. Kudou for all of this. I was attracted to him. From long, long before you showed up!”

Unable to control the torrent of emotion spilling out of her, Kaoruko slammed Miyo with all her pent-up discontent.

“The reason you were jealous is because I made you jealous. I envied you first, and purposefully tried to show off that I understood Mr. Kudou a lot better than you.”

She mentioned stories from the past Miyo likely didn’t know about and tried making the gap between them evident whenever she could.

Kaoruko had known Kiyoka for longer, so she had more memories of him than Miyo, and she knew more about him, too.

She hadn’t been able to accept that Miyo stood in a place that she could never reach.

“Kaoruko…”

“So why then, why are you apologizing? What am I supposed to do if you apologize when I’m the one in the wrong?”

Kaoruko was clearly trying to come up with any fault she could levy Miyo’s way. Even someone like Miyo would get angry and confused by being yelled at like this.

Pent-up anger, sadness, and guilt all mixed together inside Kaoruko. Her emotions in chaos, she sank lifelessly to the floor.

“I’m sorry…”

The words of apology came out naturally along with her tears. Working herself into anger and tears, she couldn’t stand how bothersome and pitiful she was being.

Miyo gradually began to speak as Kaoruko sat still, unable to lift her head up and look at her.

“Kaoruko, I think that I probably know how you’re feeling right now. Ever since I first met you, I’ve been more jealous than I could bear.”

“………Of what? There’s nothing to envy about me.”

There wasn’t a single thing about her that Miyo should’ve been jealous of. Nevertheless, she slowly shook her head.

“I wanted to stand as an equal with Kiyoka like you. I can’t fight at all, and I still can’t use my Gift very well. That was why I was so jealous of you, Kaoruko.”

A slightly rough and cracked hand, very far removed from the average young noblewoman’s hand, reached out before Kaoruko.

“Will you become my friend one more time?”

“…………”

“The two of us might be a bit alike after all. But I’m sure we both became so jealous and frustrated because we each have something the other lacks.”

She stretched out her hand before Kaoruko. Miyo’s voice, as peaceful as still water, seeped into Kaoruko’s chest, as if to slowly begin healing her frayed heart.

Aaah, there really…wasn’t any opening for me.

From the very start.

She had realized it a long time ago. That Miyo was more suited to stand by Kiyoka’s side and that she was a woman Kaoruko couldn’t ever compete with.

“…It’s hard to understand other people, but we’ve already showed plenty of ourselves to each other by now. Don’t you think that will let us get much closer than we were before?”

Was it okay for Kaoruko to take this hand?

She remained silent, unable to come up with an answer.

There’s one more thing I’m hiding from her.

If this was brought to light, Kaoruko was certainly not going to get through things unscathed. A secret much graver, and more wicked, than the nastiness she had directed at Miyo.

If she took this hand, Miyo might become the friend of a criminal.

However, she couldn’t hold out against the temptation. Before she knew it, she had taken Miyo’s delicate hand in her own.

“If you can forgive me, I’d like to remain friends.”

Miyo gently smiled at Kaoruko’s truly heartfelt words.

“I can. I’m looking forward to our friendship, Kaoruko.”

While she felt like she would be crushed under the happiness of their mutual understanding and her strong sense of guilt, Kaoruko, still on the verge of tears, smiled back.